birra's Journal

birra's Journal


Honor: 13    [ Give / Take ]


2 entries this month

18:26 Apr 16 2008
Times Read: 891

I woke up late again this morning. My 4AM alarm apparently went ignored, and I didn’t realize it until quarter to five.

My 6AM flight time was looming. It apparently was going to be one of those mornings.

I raced to the airport, keenly aware of the time the whole way. Ticketing was busy; security only moderately busy. I arrived at my gate with only a minute to spare.

But that is the way I like it. Why take my time and spend an hour sitting idle in an airport just waiting to get on a plane? My technician traveling with me on this trip was already waiting at the gate.

“Morning chief,” he said, “I was beginning to think you weren’t going to make it.”

“I like cutting things close,” I replied dryly.

“I see that…” his conversation tailed off into an explanation of how he had to wake his wife up this morning at 3AM so she could drive him to the airport, and how she was going to go into work at 4:30 after dropping him off and…. He likes to talk.

I’m not that good of a listener at half-past five in the morning. I just want to be sleeping.

But the rushed morning has me a little wired. Sitting on the plane with a Bloody Mary isn’t relaxing me. So I write.

The pilot welcomes everyone to the flight over the PA. He announces that this flight is heading to DC with continuing service to New Orleans…

I ponder going to New Orleans. I’m heading to Louisville, a city I’m all too familiar with. And despite this is a job I asked for; a job I demanded to get due to its size, exposure and the teams I would be working with… I simply don’t want to go there right now. There is too much going on in my life. This is only a two-day trip, and my first travel in almost two weeks, but it just feels so inconvenient right now.

But New Orleans… that would be something different.

For a moment I think about a conversation with Joli. Recently she explained to me that she writes in her head. Words are always coming to her. Her next poem or story is written in her head before it ever touches paper or the digital bits and bytes of a text document. No matter what she is doing, in her head she is writing.

I’m much the same. As I sit on the plane waiting for the flight to taxi, I observe my surroundings, activities... the things that happen to me and around me. I consider how I would define my observations to thoughts and words on paper, in my journal, or even to just formulate my thoughts to myself and make them coherent.

My life swirls around me at times. So much to do… I’m told to relax, reminded that things will work out or whatever I have to do will still be there tomorrow.

But this is me. I can’t relax. I feel my time is too short, I want to fit so much into my life.

Unenviable to myself, I simply don’t feel I have the room in my life to carry a pen and note pad in my pocket all the time. I don’t have means of putting my thoughts and words to “paper” all the time. By the time I get to, often it is too late. The thoughts have passed, the stories are gone.

Often, what is in my head is leisurely and insignificant. It takes a back-seat to the more important priorities. The words vanish in a myriad of responsibilities and more important details of life.

Little stories like the woman who just walked to the front of the plane to use the toilet. She walked up and stood there looking completely bewildered. For a good 30 seconds she stood there, looking… obviously perplexed and a bit confused, until the flight attendant pointed out the door to the toilet to her. Ok, there are four doors where she is standing. One says “Flight Deck Door – authorized personnel only,” two doors have little windows where you can see the sky out of them, and one door has a green sign that says “VACANT.”

Why was this so confusing?

On to Lousiville…



18:42 Apr 16 2008

Ohhh I love watching people try to figure out the bathrooms...

I try to send them psychic answers to their questions but it never works.

What you do share, when you are able, is always wonderful.

Those who don't get to speak to you and hear you tell stories or voice your thoughts as they come to you are missing out.

22:12 Apr 16 2008

Fight Club.

Watch it.

22:54 Apr 16 2008

Because she was trying to work out how the sign had read her mind hehehehe

01:15 Apr 17 2008

I woke up late, too... With a paper due that was yet to be finished.

I think it was just that kind of day.


18:07 Apr 02 2008
Times Read: 941

Last night I took some time out to visit the Oklahoma City Memorial... if you've never seen it, there are a few pictures of it in my portfolio.

I went there with a clear understanding of the event... how many people were lost that morning, April 19, 1995... simply because it was a place of employment... a job.. a career... or, in the most horrifying of aspects, a day care center...

The words and signs of the memorial... the fence of memories and support people have placed there... it was touching. It gave me a great sense of the losses suffered and changes endured because of what happened there...

...but it wasn't until later.. sitting down and looking over my pictures... that the gravity of it hit me.

It is just... sad... the world we live in is just... sad.



18:48 Apr 02 2008


20:01 Apr 02 2008

Your words, paired with the stunning images have brought me to tears. Thank you for sharing love. *hugs*

02:35 Apr 03 2008

I went to a week long seminar at OSU in Stillwater, but flew in and out of OKC. On the last day I had about 5 hours to kill before my flight so I went to the memorial.

I have to agree with you, although I spent an hour in the memorial garden area and I was overcome with the sadness and gravity of the event while I was there.

What a horrific event that was,

03:15 Apr 04 2008

“Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose."

~Kevin Arnold

As long has we have them in out thoughts, they are never truley gone from our lives. The world is a sad place- it's cruel, harming, dangerous, and deadly.

But from every hard time- comes something stronger. Reborn and molded to help with-stand future pains and to help us understand.

The world is sad; but neverless, it is our world. We may not be able to change it, but we can change how we see it.

The best thing about living- we learn from it.

Remember what happened that day; keep it in your heart, and let the emotions you are feeling now be shown and live every moment as if it was your last. The memories are the reason for change.

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