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immortalxkiss's Journal


immortalxkiss's Journal

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28 entries this month
 

05:36 Jan 31 2017
Times Read: 727


She's not getting better.


COMMENTS

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NITEOWL47
NITEOWL47
23:51 Jan 31 2017

-hugs- I know how much this hurts, sweetheart. I'm so sorry.





 

03:41 Jan 28 2017
Times Read: 768


So, the vet originally thought the issue with Ishtar's leg was an abscess, but, at her follow up this evening, they are unsure. The swelling hasn't really gone down like it should have with the antibiotics she was on. They think it could be a tumor now. And, honestly, I don't have the money for a biopsy and possible surgery. So, we're doing another round of antibiotics, to see if that helps any. And this time they gave her something for her appetite, so hopefully she'll eat and drink more. She's lost 2 pounds in just the seven days we've been dealing with this. Unfortunately, if the antibiotics don't work, and it's apparent that her quality of life isn't going to be what it was, euthanasia was brought up. I don't want to put her down, she's my little snuggle buddy. And the thought makes me cry. But... If she isn't getting better, I don't know what else to do. I don't want her to suffer.


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Dakotah
Dakotah
00:45 Jan 29 2017

I hope your cat gets better.





 

14:55 Jan 26 2017
Times Read: 785


I went out yesterday and bough a dropper thing, for liquids. Ish still hasn't been eating or really drinking, so I figured I'd solve that problem myself. I hate having to force it on her, I already have to force her to swallow pills twice a day, but it's for the best. She seems to be doing a little better. She called to me this morning, which makes me smile. She's a talker, especially with me, so I like seeing her feel alert enough that she calls out when I'm near her. She has her follow-up appointment tomorrow afternoon, I'll let the vet know about her utter lack of appetite. Hopefully it is just the medication, and once she gets off it she'll be a little more of her normal self. I just want her to get better. It's really hard seeing her like this.


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08:14 Jan 26 2017
Times Read: 817


Are there any active Societies around that wouldn't mind having me as a member? As much as I adore Eternal, I want to be part of someplace a little more active. At least, for the moment while I toy with the idea of opening a Coven of my own.


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Artorias
Artorias
08:20 Jan 26 2017

you can come and join my coven if you like :)





 

14:48 Jan 25 2017
Times Read: 833


She's not getting better at all. She's back to not drinking anything, hasn't touched food. She just lays there, alert enough when awake, but she won't call to me anymore. I came down this morning to give her her pill and see if she'd eat and her leg was all twisted up in the blanket in her bed. I don't know how long it was even like that. The swelling doesn't feel like it's gone down at all. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. She's supposed to be a little like herself by now. And she's not. Not one fucking bit. Shee just looks at me with those sad eyes and I don't know what to do. I can't make her better.


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14:17 Jan 23 2017
Times Read: 863


So, I made the decision to hold off on the vet visit today. Ish seems to have made a turn around in her behavior since yesterday afternoon. She's more attentive and has walked a little. She's still not eating all that much, a few licks at what's placed in front of her, but she has been drinking more. And really, that's the more important thing of the two. She calls to me when I get near her, like she usually does. I think it may have just been the medication they have her on. I'm going to watch her, see how she does today. And, if need be, I'll take her in tomorrow.


COMMENTS

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22:27 Jan 22 2017
Times Read: 891


So, Ishtar hasn't been getting better. She's lethargic and hasn't eaten or had anything to drink since Thursday. I'm worried. I'm really fucking worried. And paranoid that it's something else aside from the bite. She's going back to the vet first thing tomorrow, they'll do whatever it is they're going to do, and God knows how much it's going to cost. I don't know. I honestly don't know what to do or how to fix this. I just want my little lap kitty back, snuggling up next to me as I watch Netflix, or when I sleep.


COMMENTS

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Aliens
Aliens
23:12 Jan 22 2017

I'm worried that it took you till now to really be worried. Hasn't been eating since thursday??? I would of been force feeding the cat by friday night if this is the case..... saturday morning of the latest.





immortalxkiss
immortalxkiss
00:34 Jan 23 2017

I wasn't worried because Friday she was high on pain meds that the vet gave her, so that wasn't a big deal. And, when presented with water, has a tiny bit. I attributed it to the medication she's on. But, as I'm not seeing a change in her state, it's got me worried. It's not like I'm some monster who's letting her suffer for whatever reason. It's why she's going to the vet in the morning.





Aliens
Aliens
05:29 Jan 23 2017

Not that i was trying to make it sound as you was.... didn't realize she was on meds. (brain fart)



I hope her well.





 

01:53 Jan 21 2017
Times Read: 921


I love my cats. I truly do. I've had all three of them for at least twelve years. But, when issues arise that involve having to take them to the vet, I love them just a little less. Apparently my sixteen year old monster, Aphrodite, bit my twelve year old sweetheart, Ishtar on her rear leg and it got infected. We thought it may have been a break or a torn ligament, as the back leg is completely limp. But, no, it was a bite. I'm thankful that it isn't anything insanely serious such as a broken bone or a torn ligament, but, Jesus, the stress. And having to pull what little money I did have in my savings out to pay for the visit and the X-rays. It's a little aggravating.


She'll be fine in a few days. Or, at least she should be. She has some antibiotics to take, and a follow up appointment next Friday. Hopefully she'll be up and walking within the next few days. I hate that her leg is as limp as it is right now, though. I'm paranoid about her actually doing some real damage if she moves around too much or lays on it wrong or something. I can't afford to pay for actual broken bones.


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09:17 Jan 20 2017
Times Read: 937


It's been years and years since I've really played a Final Fantasy game. So, picking up on XV is harder than I thought it would be. Even with tutorials. I'm getting the hang of it, but there's a lot to remember with combos and warping and all the other stuff in the combat system. But, I enjoy the game. I feel stupid that I can't just jump into it and be a pro, but, eh, that will come in time. The button combos will become muscle memory like they are with Halo, Destiny, Skyrim, and ESO.


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21:09 Jan 18 2017
Times Read: 978


I'm sorry, well no, I'm not sorry. That was fun to read. You have no idea how much I needed a good laugh.


COMMENTS

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10:21 Jan 18 2017
Times Read: 1,013


I like to read. That's really no secret, simply a statement. I read a lot, and, when bored, I read random pages around here. Tonight I was looking over Covens, reading main pages and rules and the like, and something really bothers me about a lot of them. Coven Masters like to be little tyrants. I suppose it's only natural, give people some semblance of power and they will corrupt it. What's the saying? Absolute power corrupts absolutely.


Anyway, reading over so many rules and regulations Coven Masters force on their members just makes me chuckle. You MUST post X amount of times to the forum each week. You MUST earn X amount of Favor. You MUST post the Crest (Coven and usually Alliance) on your profile within X days. You MUST rate all members of the Coven (and Alliance, if they are in one), and rate them high. You MUST respect the Coven Master. Failure to do any of it will result in blinding. That's just sad. Really, really sad. To force people to respect you or to rate you a ten, that's taking away free will. I respect very few people on this site, because very few people are worthy of it. And, rates... I never understood that. I mean, I get it. I know it helps the standings, but forcing people to rate only the way you deem acceptable is silly.


I know, I get it. I was a Coven Master once (okay, more than once) before, so I've been there. But, freedom. I gave my members freedom. Freedom to choose if what they wanted to rate people, freedom to choose if they wanted to post the Crest on their profile, freedom to choose if they wanted to be active in the forum. Freedom. And nowhere did I ever state that I needed to be respected. I guess I just don't see things the way so many do. And, to those that don't force stupid requirements on your members, you guys are awesome. The rest of you... Well, there's a reason I stay where I am, why I'd only join a Coven if it was run by WallFlower or MrD.


COMMENTS

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SireWallFlower
SireWallFlower
21:58 Jan 18 2017

I was reading this, nodding my head in agreement the whole time, and then I got to the end and I smiled.

I really need to do something about my coven. I'm thinking of closing the doors, calling it quits and starting something new...but I'm just not sure. Ugh! Indecisiveness is like a demon that haunts me daily.

You should totally create another coven.





 

19:30 Jan 16 2017
Times Read: 1,045


My Matthew is the best. Just, the fucking best. That man... I got his Christmas present this morning. A new controller, a copy of Final Fantasy XV, and a cute little stuffed owl. Too much. He gave me too much.


COMMENTS

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NITEOWL47
NITEOWL47
19:42 Jan 16 2017

Psh. Glad you liked the gifts, my Alice. =^.^=





 

11:56 Jan 15 2017
Times Read: 1,094


Hiss, hiss, motherfuckers.

;]

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23:16 Jan 14 2017
Times Read: 1,125


You know what name I can't stand?
Christian.

You know what Liz wants to name the baby?
Christian.


I don't know why, but it's such a cringe-worthy name to me. But, if she does name him that, I have to accept it. Just... My first nephew... Any other name would be so much better.


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00:00 Jan 14 2017
Times Read: 1,156


I will let you down

I will make you hurt.


COMMENTS

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PastRebirthed
PastRebirthed
00:55 Jan 14 2017

No just, no. Don't dare ruin this song by putting it in your whiny journal. No. No!





immortalxkiss
immortalxkiss
01:12 Jan 14 2017

Haha.





 

21:52 Jan 12 2017
Times Read: 1,181


All that I know how to do is push people away. I cower behind my many walls and push everyone away.


COMMENTS

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NITEOWL47
NITEOWL47
16:43 Jan 16 2017

But you know very well that it doesn't completely work. -hugs-





 

06:59 Jan 12 2017
Times Read: 1,214


It probably means next to nothing for most people, but for an avid Destiny player like myself, it's fucking awesome. I got to play with official Bungie staff. Like, the very people who made this game I love. I got to play with them! And, I got to murder Cozmo! That's, like, the best thing to ever happen to me in game. Best. Night. EVER!


COMMENTS

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GatsunoKisu
GatsunoKisu
10:35 Jan 12 2017

Cool. It seems like something you needed. I know of the game but I am not a player; I can still appreciate the hell out of it for you.





NITEOWL47
NITEOWL47
17:50 Jan 12 2017

O.O That. Is. Awesome.





 

13:46 Jan 10 2017
Times Read: 1,231


In those empty, silent hours,

When the darkness overtakes,

She loses herself.

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13:13 Jan 10 2017
Times Read: 1,239



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15:12 Jan 07 2017
Times Read: 1,280


Things were going well, up until they weren't. And, the only one to blame is me. It's always me. Insecure, jealous, emotional, irrational, childish mess that I am. I always screw things up in some spectacular way.


So much between us has changed over the years. I need to stop clinging to the past and just let go. Let him go. It's for the best.


COMMENTS

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04:24 Jan 07 2017
Times Read: 1,313


So...





I'm going to have a little nephew. I can't wait to meet him. :]

COMMENTS

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11:31 Jan 06 2017
Times Read: 1,356


Honestly, it's not flattering when you tell a girl you've saved her image because it's "touched you" in some way. That's creepy. Really fucking creepy. And, said girl can only imagine the godawful things you may be doing while looking at her image. It's disgusting. Really fucking disgusting.


And it's an absolute reminder why I removed all personal images from my profile for as long as I did. You make me regret changing my mind about my Halo related stuff.


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07:53 Jan 05 2017
Times Read: 1,388


I finally got rid of the Halo related avatar and profile images. It's time to get back to, well, me.


COMMENTS

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22:53 Jan 03 2017
Times Read: 1,404


Maybe the misery has become a part of me, inside this shell... It's hard to find the one when you can't find your soul... Nothing to show for this, every shot's a miss... Oceans of mistakes... Kill off the need, the lust... Rescue the both of us... Remnants of lost love.




When songs resonate with you more than you initially think... And far more than you wish they would.



One day I'll stop caring about you and I'll just walk away. When that day comes, I can't help but wonder, will you even notice?

COMMENTS

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20:08 Jan 03 2017
Times Read: 1,430


Sometimes you just have to take a step back and evaluate the situation. Is it worth the effort you're putting into it? Will it be worthwhile in the long run? Is it ever going to go back to how it used to be?


Nope. I suppose that's probably for the best. And, I suppose it was stupid to think things could be like they were. We can't go back. We can never go back. I'm not content with just being part of the crowd.


COMMENTS

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10:07 Jan 02 2017
Times Read: 1,461


This song has been playing pretty much nonstop on my phone for the last few days. I can't get enough of it.




Moonlight - Aviators


Stand in the rain tonight

Under the street lights

We find ourselves

We find ourselves

Maybe the misery

Has become a part of me

Inside this shell

Inside this shell

It's hard to find the one you love when you can't find your soul

Looking for answers in a bottle now you're in the cold

I've seen the world from every angle that I've found this far

And after all the cards have fallen I've been dealt these scars


Don't let a foothold be your crutch

Don't lose the drive you need so much

When your last push becomes a shove

You've taken off the gloves

We've felt the moonlight steal our hearts

These nights of lovers under stars

Their secrets locked up in their cars

Remnants and broken parts, of lost love


Nothing to show for this

Every shot's a miss

And no one sees

And no one sees

Been to the sky and back

We've felt the thunder clap

It's part of me

It's part of me

It's hard to find the one you love when you can't find your soul

Looking for answers in a bottle now you're in the cold

I've seen the world from every angle that I've found this far

And after all the cards have fallen I've been dealt these scars


Don't let a foothold be your crutch

Don't lose the drive you need so much

When your last push becomes a shove

You've taken off the gloves

We've felt the moonlight steal our hearts

These nights of lovers under stars

Their secrets locked up in their cars

Remnants and broken parts, of lost love


Amateur heartbreak

Oceans of mistakes

That lie within

That lie within

Sinners with innocence

Lovers within the midst

Of hate again

The pain again

Kill off the need, the lust

Rescue the both of us

While we're awake

While we're awake

Moonlight will carry you

Onward to Hell and through

Until we break

Until we break


Don't let a foothold be your crutch

Don't lose the drive you need so much

When your last push becomes a shove

You've taken off the gloves

We've felt the moonlight steal our hearts

These nights of lovers under stars

Their secrets locked up in their cars

Remnants and broken parts, of lost love

COMMENTS

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18:24 Jan 01 2017
Times Read: 1,497


My grandmother has cancer.


Yup, 2017 is off to a great start.


COMMENTS

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Aliens
Aliens
18:44 Jan 01 2017

I'm sorry. I hope it would of been better news. and this year would of started off better.





SireWallFlower
SireWallFlower
18:50 Jan 01 2017

I am so sorry to hear that. Cancer is something my family has dealt with for years now...if you need to talk, any time, I'm here.





QueenZombiee
QueenZombiee
22:33 Jan 01 2017

My dad died last xmas. ....because of cancer.

I know how you feel. Just be strong.





slipknotbabe356
slipknotbabe356
21:02 Jan 03 2017

I'm really sorry to hear this, I lost my grandpa to cancer not very long ago, so I understood what you're going through.





 

09:19 Jan 01 2017
Times Read: 1,523


If the last year was shit, you should expect more of the same for this year. Just because we perceive the passage of time and the changing of a year, doesn't mean your crap life is going to be any better because of it.


Change only occurs when you work for it. And, let's be honest here, the majority of people don't work towards it.


Happy fucking new year.


COMMENTS

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GatsunoKisu
GatsunoKisu
12:58 Jan 01 2017

You are a sane and beautiful mind.

I am not a poetic stalker; I really am genuinely happy to see that there are other people who aren't total morons.



Happy Fucking New Year to you too!








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