I may have been looking into flights to Philly... For someone amazing I've been meaning to meet for something like 6 years now. The only issue would be getting some time off. I'm not comfortable requesting it, I'm not back to full time yet. But, if I can find a week where I don't work a Friday or a Monday, I may take the opportunity to take a visit out there. Flights are dirt cheap due to Covid, and I'm sure I could find a reasonably priced hotel.
I got to talk to Slain on the phone today. Not the longest phone call we've had, but it made me happy. I'm hoping that our friendship, which I feel has been somewhat strained for a while, can get back to where it used to be.
You disgust me. I want you to understand that. Filling my inbox with nonsense about love and whatever else, getting drunk and then calling me horrible names because I cannot give you what you want. It's disgusting behavior. And, honestly, I'm to the point where I'm ready to block you. Stop. I don't know what you're in love with, but I assure you, it's not me. Maybe the idea you've created of me, but it's not the real me. Because when I upset you, your true feelings come out. Just like her, calling me a whore and so many other horrible things. You two are one in the same, which is funny because you constantly talked shit about her to me, to others. And, well, there you are. It's sad, really.
But, I'm stating this publically because I'm tired of it. Leave me the fuck alone. I want nothing to do with you. I made that very clear the last time, and last night. I'm done. We are nothing.
I'd say I'm surprised, but I'm not. Not in the least.
I don't know why I find it so difficult to let go, even when I know things are over. But, I just... I have so few good things in my life, that when I find something that makes me happy, I hold on for dear life. I'm still holding on... I know I should just say goodbye to what things were, but I can't. I can't.
I suppose the optimist in me, small as she is, is still holding on to hope that things will change.
I have been slowly putting myself back out there, open to meeting new people. Well, not so much meeting, but talking to new people. I've had a few gaming sessions with a really sweet guy. I'm not looking for anything right now, I know I'm still not fully over things with Francis, but he's made it clear that right now, and for the forseeabls future, he can't handle a relationship. So, it wouldn't hurt to make new friends. I'm not going to really suggest meeting face to face, not with things the way they are, but I don't mind chatting via text or gaming with someone. It kills the loneliness.
Going to be in a hotel for 10 days starting on the 2nd. My dad's coming out here to visit and I refuse to be under the same roof as him, so I'm bailing. My mom is going to go stay with Kevin and Liz. It'll be nice to be on my own for a while. I think I need it. And some good news, work is really starting to pick up again, so hopefully I'll be back to my regular full time hours soon. Fingers crossed.
Looks like Disneyland is postponing their opening. Not that I was ever going to go when they opened back up. I was going to hold off until the fall, at least. But, honestly, I think they should wait until next year to open back up. California's Covid cases are continuing to rise, and we haven't even hit the second wave yet. So, opening theme parks and movie theaters and whatnot isn't smart. I understand these businesses need to make money, and keeping their workforce out of work for so long isn't at all ideal, but these are unprecedented times we're living in, and this virus isn't going away. So, who knows. I miss Disneyland, I miss going to the movies, I miss going out to eat, but not so much that I'm willing to go out and chance getting sick. Yeah, I know, Covid won't likely affect me in any horrible way, but I have my family to worry about. Kevin, Liz, Lucas, my mother. I'm not going to risk it just to have some time out of the house. I'm not that selfish.
I got my AncestryDNA results in this morning. It's surprising that I take so much from my mother. And the amount of Spanish surprises me, since I was under the impression that my paternal grandfather on my dad's side was from Spain. Or at least his family. But, it seems to me a mashup of other things. The European Jewish bit is that Russian from my grandfather on my mom's side. Well, I assume it's Russian like we've always been told, but it could be Poland, Belarus, Ukraine, Russia, Hungary, or Israel.
My mother likes to claim her side is mostly Native American. She gets away with it bc she’s been ostracized from the family due to being an extreme narcissist and pathological liar so her friends really have no idea. When she posts her bullsh*t I like to post a screenshot of my dna results and ask her where the Native is. 🤣
60% England/Wales/Northwestern Europe
20% Germanic Europe
Part of my last comment doesn’t seem to have posted. At least on my end. I’m on mobile atm
Disneyland is set to open up again mid-July. I'm so stoked! I want to go to my happy place.
You'd see an entirely different person than the image of me you've been fed by others if you just, I don't know, tried actually talking to me directly.
I had to go out to Downtown LA today, that was surreal. I'm used to seeing the streets pretty empty because of the COVID-19 stuff, but today is was protesters and the National Guard. I couldn't make my stops, one was at the LAPD, but as you can imagine, there was a protest out front. And, I wouldn't have minded attempting my serve, but it's company policy to just skip the stop. As I was driving to my other stop I saw the national Guard walking down the sidewalk. That was a trip. All these kids in full getup, rifles strapped to their chests, it was crazy. This is life right now...
And done. Back to only having my two Sire accounts.
Still looking to get rid of Victorum. I moved it to my Coven, so it can go wherever you wish. Premium until next Valentine's Day, level 63.
I have two accounts I'm looking to get rid of.
Under curfew until 6 Am tomorrow. This shit sucks. It's impacting my hours, they won't send me out with all the protests going on. I'm aggrivated and annoyed. The world has gone to absolute shit.
There is alot more being impacted than work hours...that's the least I'd be worried about honestly
When you haven't worked for two months because of COVID-19 and you have rent and bills to pay, you tend to focus on the fact that you can't work and make a living. I can't afford to pay things I need to pay, and with my hours being disrupted farther, well, what the fuck am I supposed to do?
Must be nice not to have to worry about being homeless.
They cant kick you out for there laws right now, no one is going homeless.
Sure there are laws where you cannot get kicked out NOW but that does nothing for later.
Cutting people out of my life for the bullshit they pull is getting easier and easier for me. I am perfectly fine having a small circle of friends. I'm not going to put up with being treated like shit just to keep someone in my life. I don't need your friendship that bad, trust me.
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