EstrangedOne's Journal

EstrangedOne's Journal


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9 entries this month

Welcome to Insanity {Part One}

18:19 Jun 20 2021
Times Read: 68

"What have you done in your jeering, scorning and nonstop fearing of something you never even knew?"

I bid you a harrowing welcome
To an "impossible" outcome!

Now, pay a visit to the ultimate night terror,
Where of all you've done and all you've known
Has become the face of your Paul bearer;
Dressed in the treachery that you've shown!

In the first face of the life you knew,
Your final deeds have all gone askew;
A memory in place of your brethren
Has been warped by your own treason.

When the volcano of your own poison
Explodes from deep within,
Carbonizing an already callous skin,
Do you even realize it's fueled by your sin?

His eyes are pale, yet black and burned.
Teeth of shards, sharp as steel.
Skin so pale, devoid the moon; it's white!
His hands are claws, barbed like jaws!
Your sins are what shattered the seal!

Now ensues this world of pain;
The branded hate as strong as Fate,
Your deepest Hell his only to tell;
A burning Abyss, you feel the Hiss--
A mechanical serpent that can never repent!

Just like the whore, branded by Christ,
You really are "sainted" no more!
Just another harlot to say that you'll strive
For your peace if you leave it burning alive!

And the snake, nailed to the stake,
To the grave your title you'll take;
Lie to Me again, and feel the pain
Of all your deceptions by sentence
Of an unending acidic rain!

Lies all around, Sins now abound,
Have awakened an indestructible hound!
Visceral as the scars left upon his soul,
Nonexistent, yet deeper than malcontent!

Now, you can see the war,
Once sealed in a "jar",
Locked only by a deception,
Weak from the day of inception!

Now, returned, scarred and burned,
He awakens in an inferno uproar
What happened to the lesson you've learned?
Have you forgotten already, in your bluster?

The monster now awoken
Tries to alleviate his own unspoken
Words unto his own heart broken,
But in vengeance only does he find it woven,
For the final thing that had his purpose
Has been taken, tattered, torn and burned upon the surface!

"Now, I'm back again, no more a slave until My end;
I turn My pain instead upon yourself and all until you're dead.
And then I'll tear apart your soul
And watch in laughter as you lose control,
And consume you with the rest of your distress."

This inferno, though raging, seems so cold;
Like a world of ice and illusion barren and old,
Tearing down everything that you've known.
But where does it begin, from without or within?
And what has caused it to awaken from hold?

All that can, once again, be said,
Though I hate to break your heart so sad...
I bid you welcome, once again,
As it falls like fire, the burning rain...

"Welcome to (My) insanity",
Where there is no end to see...
And no help are your deities,
There is no way to make it seize...

"Welcome to (My) insanity!"




"Final Contempt" {Unforgivable and Unforgiving}

02:24 Jun 20 2021
Times Read: 88

Don't you think I understood that you were in pain?
Did you believe that I never cared?
Why else would I have stayed and lived in the rain?
Did you ever give a goddamn when I tried My best,
And instead, only bled Myself from the disdain?

I know I had made My mistakes,
But as every bit I was told it takes
I bled for you, I damned and I punished Myself.
Yet still, I was left in My own deepest of Hell,
Lead on, like a fool, when we all know I have saved you;
Told to believe, not to give up, then left to rot and die!

I have tried not to be bitter, tried to believe in a semblance
Of something more than what was real - The faintest of chance.
But I should have known I would be betrayed as ever.
And now, I have nothing more than My hatred from before!

I no longer care to know "mercy" or "pride".
What I thought I had, no more than an illusion run dry!
So, now, thanks to you, why, now should I try?...
Ever to even "love" or feel what I know I am denied?

Even after I have saved you, Time and Again,
Just another time I am betrayed,
And you wonder why I am depraved...
Is it really so fucking difficult to imagine?

How can I not be filled to an endless brim
With unceasing bitterness and contempt?
Will the ceaseless pain ever go away?
Or will I be consumed by hatred undying, anyway?




00:10 Jun 15 2021
Times Read: 104

Before any read this, I want to make it known that I'm not the original author. I only fine-tuned it for the person who originally wrote it. And thank you, to "SnowMantle" (whom I simply prefer to as "Snow") for asking it of me to take on the fun of what is to be seen.

Shattered and broken, (once) innocent, now lost,
The child cries out as she unchains her demons to accost
This demented world, warped and twisted, so embossed.
For the price of a shattered flower, her fractured vase,
Her own demons ascend to burn her devils' face(s).

Still, to-day, scarred and seared by horrors past,
She learns to mold a colour-shifting mask;
By reality, scorning hatred, burning in a casque,
Desiring devastation upon the massed
Who placed her innocence into hellfire to be passed.

That child is not dead, but remains in her own pain,
Yet cries out for those a-scar as her, living through disdain.
Seeing past, into the sons - who come for her, the ones -
But too late for those of them, for the demons' hold condemn,
Standing all a-round, their voices come unbound--

Be wary who you say: "weak" at the end of day,
For upon that twisting way, you might find a war a-fray.
Should you be having chills, it may be those demons' thrills;
"We exist by human atrocity, and your life of sickened wills-
We feed from broken souls, to cast horror upon their past controls."



01:26 Jun 15 2021

Thank you, my friend, for bringing my words to another depth of life. hugs


{{Untitled, as of Yet. Suggestions Would be Good.}}

21:01 Jun 14 2021
Times Read: 112

I can feel it, within, waking.
The "love" is lost, My heart forsaking.
What was reborn has been destroyed again;
Solidified by the blackened flames of sin --

What was brought alive by another's hands,
Just as quick has died and turned to sands,
Burned o'er pyre, amid the fight just to survive,
Did "love" mean anything to you, as it did by Mine?

I warned you I could not show;
But does not mean I did not know --
Now, once more, the beast awakes,
As the thunder rolls, the air now quakes!

Now, arise the hollow side,
"Dementor" beyond the chains of pride,
The killer of the depths of the mind,
The true "monster" none wanted to find.

The hands to take your mind and crush the bone,
Eyes, a shadow of the mind's impervious stone,
Encompass wings as winds of change alone
Cannot turn, but I shift it all to burn --

A Molotov turn to snow, a vapour take shape twice o'er thrice,
Command the world I know to seal and steel, My hands' grasp of ice!

In graves it walks, like a ghost upon the fog,
Like scars upon the land, the dead cry along the bog;
A swamping sea of darkness flowing round a dog,
Wandering, howling, the hound of shadows' call "Balrough".

In the reaches of your mind, searing through the rind,
The names they call the King of Shadows;
Cloak-ed, Cowl-ed, the Vengeance of Hollows,
This hound of darkness, by My command, life it swallows!




"Sentence By (The) Sentence"

08:09 Jun 11 2021
Times Read: 136

A mistake I have made before;
I have since been taught My lesson,
And will never make again...

To let another enter My world of shadowed war,
To allow Myself to fuel that obsession,
Now, gaze the face of Fate and lose what little you gain.

Devils rise and demons soar,
When mortals pry to beg for more!
Angels fall when their father is no more;
Are you trying to sentence yourself before...

Your time has come--

Fancy the "immortal" life,
With no clue what it means,
Ignorance is the base of your strife,
Illness is the crown of your "dreams".

Sickennng obsession, you will never learn your lesson,
I know your type far too well, not even strong enough for Hell,
Never enough to see yourself in your own light, oh, well;
I wash My hands of the ignorant, to leave you where you stand.

I can be no clearer; you would choose to live in terror!
Lacerate then salivate, your own self you eviscerate!
Carve away the lies you feed upon, you can never help yourself move on--

Follow Me, you'll live in fear, stuck upon the words you hear,
And you'll find only the call of Date, set upon by burning hate,
A message only for those who can't comprehend: run away before you begin...
Or your desire will be your doom, long before the end!




Only One (Moral Cyanide - part one)

04:48 Jun 11 2021
Times Read: 143

"There Can Be only one God; worship Him, or be Damned"
("Love Thy Neighbor - Burn Thy Neighbor - Take in My Name")
"Bide the Rede, ye must; Perfect Love and Trust - Harm None and..."
(Do As Ye Believe or Feel Ye Will - Live Not In Shame)
"Burn the Witch, black or white - Suffer 'fore Thy fight."

--I Have Heard And Seen ENOUGH! - So, Shall I Be DAMNED!

(I bid you) Welcome to the world of the Rising Damned,
Where now, the condemned cast judgment on the Judge!
You have no power, nor say, here - the hammer "slammed".

Your promises are meaningless; take to the burning-rail-ride.
Cannot even show Me what it means to love; Now, you fade.
Your conviction and your words are moral cyanide--
More poisonous than pure concentrated nightshade.

You would burn your own, for "salvation" to a thrown;
Sodomize your moral code, if you ever had one on this road.
You even choose to sacrifice any righteousness to vice.
Now, you begin to wonder, how an 'entity' becomes a monster.

I've seen it all before, with the birth of a war;
Every time, there is a tyrant, fueling evil like a hydrant,
Burning down the virtuous, claiming it as "righteous"-
Where is the "righteousness" in destroying innocence?




"Who Are You?" (Angel or Vampire)

08:55 Jun 06 2021
Times Read: 166

{{You could say this is the "rough draft" or prototype of my previously mentioned piece. Unfortunately, I can currently think of no other way to do it, as I can't "connect" with the subject on any level. But I do hope those who read it enjoy.}}

"Welcome to the side of the world wherein the line between good and evil... Damned and Divine... is blurred."


Are you Divine or are you Damned; Living eternal, to walk the sand? Whose promise am I to trust; an alleged God who promised lasting life? Or the one who grants it through a stain coloured rust?

They say you're an angel; so light and pure.
With wings that glisten and gleam, a star-like shine.
And a voice of song that seems to lure...
But how do I know this is not thine intent;
You could tell me to save another,
But what should I do, should they be malcontent?
And what should I now believe
Of the "word" that says "the devil uses the
Purest beauty to deceive"?

To pull another from the rubble of a still inferno burning,
Pray unto your 'father',
To prolong their life a little farther...
But What is the cost that they must pay
When in the end of a torturing day...
They live with a price forever tumbling and turning?...

So, what comes of one who doesn't take your hand;
Do they live on, to rise with the tide
Or are they condemned to the damned side?
Is it really so hard to let the world fall to the sand?
You say that I will be saved,
Only if I praise your "heavenly father", as is portrayed.
Yet to see his will depraved,
Standing in dismal disbelief, by the wayside...

Can you even live without his will?
No more lasting than the time he wants you still.~~

They say you're evil, the Devil's design.
"Preying on the ones who bleed,
Living on to an endless time",
As beautiful as you are a devastating breed...

The eyes don't sway or flitter
As you walk in darkest shadows,
Cast upon by moonlight's dawn, a fitter
Way to live eternal, I cannot imagine.

You have stalked upon your "prey",
Walking alone upon a dismal fray;
Do you seek a victim or companion?
Are you trying to offer another way or offend
As another victim to fall to your charm and descent?

Your voice as a blanket of silk and satin,
Stained with the souls of others, blackened
The sense of your touch as a paralysis,
No chance for even faint analysis;
A caress undeniable to the lesser will.

Do you plan to "kiss and kill",
Or do you give the "kiss of lasting life by will"?
A torment no solitary mortal know,
What have you endured,
And how long has it had to grow?

So many memories, so cold and soft a gaze;
What lies behind those pale eyes?
In your every word, so many say it's lies,
But there feels truth to what you've spoken of your days.
Can you be believed? Or is one being deceived?

In darkness do you stand,
Eyes gleaming like stars upon the sand;
Lurking, staring, waiting either for
The unfortunate who crosses by, or
The one living through a twist of fate.
A machine designed to "live through the kill"
Are you fueled by love or hate,
Or perhaps just cursed with a hunger and a thirst
That you just cannot seem to sate?

Angel or vampire;
Are you truly Damned or Divine?
Or are you one and the same,
From within one driven by fire,
The other, sworn to a "god so sublime".
Are you truly what they say?
Or are you something more than faith and fame?



07:19 Jun 07 2021

Love this...


"Upon The Coffin"

11:10 Jun 04 2021
Times Read: 175

Tell Me, what do you believe?
Is it the "god" forgiving, who grants reprieve?
Do you believe in the devil's loving word?
Or perhaps your faith is in destiny incurred?

It has been a lifetime and far more
Since I've felt the love lasting long and true.
Perhaps it might be that many lifetimes overdue,
But I really do not know, anymore.

As twisted as My life has forever been,
There are many things that I have seen.
But the one thing that I can't remember,
It seems that it was always a dying ember;

A failed hope for love to be.
But what do I know of this factor,
As it seems I'm little more than an actor?
But what difference does it all now see?

Of all I've walked in this eternity,
Stepping through the rain endlessly,
A predator trying not to find its prey,
But the one with whom I could share a fading day...

I've always had this strange epiphany;
That it is not meant to be shared this way.
A ceaseless thirst by endless curse,
What becomes of those who fade in reverse?

These pale eyes of Mine that see
Only in the darkest places of your dreams,
I cannot stand the light of day to be,
Only the dusk of night, as it still seems.

Made not by sharing the life of another's,
But by drowning in the blood of others;
This monster that so many seem to see
As either angel or demon's seed--

I have lived through Hell again,
Only to be left wishing I could gain
The hand on the one for whom I've searched
High and low, beseeching as I have been scorched.

Now, the words upon this coffin,
The same as once were said to Me in sin;
"Here once was an honored man,
Now, to live in darkness, forever from within".




23:20 Jun 03 2021
Times Read: 196

Since I have decided it's time for a little more refreshing, I've placed my portfolio poem here, to make room for the new piece.

And whereupon the grounds of solitude,
Under the tree of life to include
The love and sorrow, the bone and marrow,
Buried deep under the grounds,
The scent of which only can the hounds
Smell beneath the cold earthly rounds

The epitome of eminent doom only physical in nature
Under this night, the judas tree bring forth the creature
From the darkness of thine hearts, to undo the wrong,
With the voice of reason, the crow and raven's song
To sing unto the Dead, the fog of a lost endeared
To enter the lives of ye no longer revered;

"I call to You, children of the earth,
Come to joineth me, upon this hearth.
Let the memories fill thy minds,
And for each hope one of thou finds,
The Risen and the Fallen both conjoin here,
To partake of the Soul, their hearts to hear

Let the voice forsaken by the heart of "God"
Feared by the Devil, the lightning rod
Be the channel for thy resonance,
And the plateau upon which stands
The table, the altar for another chance,
Sacrifice nothing but to leave this world to rot."

To sleep with this 'Demon' in thine hearts,
The lonely, the forsaken, thus the fire starts
Embrace thus for thy loves long lost,
And pay no price but Mine own cost;
To leave this world, thy past behind,
And come with Me, I'll help you find...

You wish with the Dead, you could forget,
But still, you are unable to leave your regret.
But walk with Me, into this sunset,
And I'll bring you to see My world, to bet
Under which you shall stand the net
To walk away and embrace the life of the forsaken.



23:54 Jun 03 2021

A great read...I really enjoyed it

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