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Joli's Journal


Joli's Journal

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3 entries this month
 

17:44 Jan 23 2011
Times Read: 537


Disclaimers make me sad where writing is concerned. My friend just wrote a beautiful poem/song lyric and felt the need to explain at the front end that it isn't about anyone...not to draw conclusions. I know why he felt that way; hell, we all know. Isn't it sad, though?


More and more writers have to cover their asses by writing "all characters in this work are fictional." It's almost never 100% true. Writers draw from people around them and from the world at large. They combine people and add traits and dialog, experience and situations.


When you read older books and poems, you'll notice that authors didn't feel that necessity. I wish that writers could just put it forward with a mental attitude of, "here it is." When I studied literature in college, I had a great professor who made sure that when we were required to do analysis, we understood that we were not to assume that the author was writing about himself or anyone specifically. In poetry and fiction, unless otherwise noted by the author, you take the character as a character.


Now, you can make comparisons and make cases for your theories, especially in works of satire. I can't imagine reading Divine Comedy without doing so, but even so...the characters are not the people themselves. They are Dante's creations.


I've read many many journals in VR. I have even wondered if I saw myself in a post or two. Sometimes it was in a good light and sometimes not. But without my name on it, all I can do is wonder...it could just as easily be someone else in the journalist's life. I don't think I've ever reacted in any way that would ever cause someone to feel they have to worry about what they write. I understand 2 things:


1. I am not that interesting.

2. If someone has not used my name (nick, work title, or other SPECIFIC way of identifying me), they can vent, create, spew anything they like without me assuming it's about me and bugging them in any way, especially in VR's favorite ways:

a. Messaging them and asking, "Is that about me?"

b. Writing a retaliatory or pre-emptive journal strike.

c. Sending threats or otherwise flipping the f*** out. Do some of you even REALIZE how crazy that makes you look, defending yourself in fiery diatribes in a journal? Sure, we look. How could we not? If someone stood outside a window lighting their poo on fire and flinging it at a wall while screaming, "I'm not the crazy person here!" Wouldn't you look? Wouldn't you call a friend and say, "Hey, you looking out the window?" But I ask...I REALLY REALLY ask, Is that what you're looking for? Are you mistaking horrified fascination for genuine interest and friendship? I admit, I wonder.


I can say, though, that it gets old. I mean, ONE guy flinging fiery poo is worth a look. A poo-flinger every hour of every day just becomes that guy you try not to look at...you go to actual efforts NOT TO SEE him.


Don't be that guy. Don't be THAT GUY! It's not about you...even when it is. It is not about you. IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU! Knock it off.


COMMENTS

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LIFEBLOOD
LIFEBLOOD
18:16 Jan 23 2011

Your names all over my journal especially the seedy downtroddon bits :-P





Joli
Joli
18:21 Jan 23 2011

and this was all about you! ;)





birra
birra
19:05 Jan 23 2011

Well, I know you were writing about me... a little bit.



It is necessary when I'm displaying my efforts here. It's a cultural thing on this site - everyone assumes an emotional poem, a heartfelt sentiment or a jab at the air MUST be directed at someone in some passive-aggressive way. Especially when there are known relationships, in a positive or negative relation.



So I disclaimer before I post some of my work, especially when I know it might look like a statement against someone I care very deeply about and would not in any way, shape or form publicly spew something that might hurt that person, damage my relationship with that person or cause any kind of discomfort in that person's life.



I'm not publishing my work to a book. It's mainly being tested for public consumption on a silly website where not everyone knows me that well, but knows enough to feel like they might know me that well. I'd rather avoid the assumptions before they even begin...





Joli
Joli
19:15 Jan 23 2011

Of course that's why. No question. I just hate the necessity to do so.






NocturnalMistress
NocturnalMistress
19:43 Jan 23 2011

I have gotten to the point in where... I just don't care anymore. When I write poetry, I write it to get thoughts out. If someone thinks it's about them, then let them. If I had written something about someone, I would let them know, or if I journaled about something, especially if it was a user, I would let them know first.



Nine out of ten times when I write it doesn't really pertain to anyone in general, but more of a general thought that I needed or wanted to express. I have gotten messages from people feeling as if what I wrote was about them... I just sigh and feel stupid that I have to exactly explain that it isn't.



So I put up a disclaimer so no one gets the wrong idea.



It is, in a way, at times, pretty sad that one must do so. Or explain why they weren't online for whatever reason...





Nightgame
Nightgame
23:13 Jan 23 2011

I wonder what type of guilty conscience a person has to immediately imagine anything negative is about them?

I've never really tried to place real people into the shoes of characters I read about or even made up myself. It's all inside the twisted workings of my mind.





 

07:32 Jan 15 2011
Times Read: 580


Requiem is out there slandering me in her journal. Sheesh, just paste rainbows and unicorns on me, why doncha?


I'm dark, I tell ya. DAAARK. I once won the "I'm so goth..." trashtalk challenge. So...I'm not to be taken lightly. I'm watchin you, sister.


Also, thanks to birra, I can no longer look at your badger without thinking it's dialing the pink telephone.


That is all.


COMMENTS

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Joli
Joli
07:50 Jan 15 2011

And look who was before me...the electric fence f***er. Tough act to follow.



I REALLY need to work on my badass image.





BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
09:48 Jan 15 2011

You ole' softy you.





Requiem
Requiem
14:49 Jan 15 2011

o.O AHAHAHAHAHA!!! Gods I DO love you woman! I have NEVER heard that euphemism - dialing the pink telephone.





.... Holy crap. *wipes tear*





=) Te adoro!





birra
birra
22:00 Jan 20 2011

Dialing the pink telephone....



...that is a good one.



Keep clicking the handset latch... you'll get the operator eventually, right?





 

06:21 Jan 06 2011
Times Read: 643


I have a question, but let me preface.


I'm not a big rater, never have been. And guess what, IT'S OK. Really, it is. VR is here for your enjoyment. You get to decide the parameters for your level of involvement. It's even free. You don't have to feel so stressed here. If you find it stressful, you really should find another outlet or hobby. Even admins are here voluntarily and choose how they will spend their time.


Lots of members are raters. They rate, rate rate. I wonder about whether thay like doing it or if they care about the pages they view, but hey...it's A way to spend time here, just as valid as mine. So, more power to you raters, but why so stressed? I'm seeing more and more disclaimers in the ratings given out. Seriously...disclaimers? In ratings? I understand that people may not like your rating, but are you guys feeling like you have to proactively explain how and why you rate? Do you REALLY feel like you need to redirect us to your profile to read your RULES for rating?


Does this not seem a little absurd? If you rate me, you're dropping an opinion. I understand it is an opinion that differs person to person. I understand it comes in the form of a number and in 5% of the cases, maybe with a little note that was actually typed out in response to what you saw. Many will just opt to fast-stamp. OK. Clear as a bell.


But let's just say I received your rating of 1- "under 10" (which is apparently the bar at which people get all butt-hurt.) I gripe at you. I rate you the same...or maybe even less. I'm stupid, ok? Why would you care at all about trying to make sure I get your rating protocol? It's a number. You poop it onto someone's page. You walk away. Have some fun with it or don't do it. PLEASE don't let it be a stressor in your lovely little life.


I am leaving a sample of what I'm referring to. This is not the only one and I'm not picking on the person I'm quoting. This is simply a journal post. It is not to be taken very seriously. For rules on how I journal post, please access your data bank under file, "RELAX!"


Rating: 10

Comment:



I do not grant automatic 10s. I rate according to content. If your profile is well thought out, then you got a 10 unless there was something I found trashy or offensive. I rarely rate those under level 20 a 10 because most of the profiles are under construction. If you have updated your profile and would like for me to re-rate you send me a message and ask me for a re-rate and I will be happy to take another look. Please see my rating rules on my profile for further reference.



COMMENTS

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OccamsRazor
OccamsRazor
06:33 Jan 06 2011

I think I love you Joli, LOL

When you said "poop it onto a page".

I am so glad I read this!

I'm giving your journal a 10!



LOL





xxKontradictionxx
xxKontradictionxx
06:46 Jan 06 2011

I really wish we could rate Journals.



: )





imagesinwords
imagesinwords
07:07 Jan 06 2011

It's a curious thing to have that as a rating stamp. These are often left by members who spout 'I don't care about ratings, really, it's just a number...' And if that were really true, this kind of energy would not be put into a stamp.





Joli
Joli
07:15 Jan 06 2011

It's just so freaking SERIOUS! Like a Surgeon General's warning. Should I be concerned that the rating may give me cancer?



Is it in the hope that someone WILL gripe? Then you can point to your disclaimer and dance and sing, "Nyaa Nyaa! Told you on the label! GO READ MAH ROOLZ!"



And what percentage actually DO gripe? If it's low, as I suspect it is, why cater to the gripers? Your audience is really the "I'm kinda fine with it" group, of which I'm a member. Write something for us :)





imagesinwords
imagesinwords
07:20 Jan 06 2011

Yeah, I'd like to read a stamp like that. Sounds like a job for ThothLestat.





Fale
Fale
09:27 Jan 06 2011

Nobody likes rating



Its a time-consuming process for people who want to "level" - And people who "want" to level only care about doing so to hit "sire", which is just silly since there's ZERO carrot in hitting "Sire" as in the end every decision is up to Cancer anyway (Whether or not the Sire can create a coven and what have you)



Zero incentive = Braindead muck = I have no idea why people even bother





Nightgame
Nightgame
13:36 Jan 06 2011

I adore "poop it onto someone's page" that truly equals the whole stress over rates. I suspect those getting upset about a low rate, would never take the time to actually read "their rating rules" anyway.





Bones
Bones
04:55 Jan 07 2011

You're a 10 in my book, Baby! ;)





Blackstaff
Blackstaff
05:10 Jan 07 2011

The point is valid. Rating is about acceptance. Many here are insecure enough to warrant a disclaimer in this person you mentions stamp. Right or wrong have little to do with it. Even if there was a change to let individual journal entries be rated, it is still about someone valuing a bit of either your thoughts or in the case of the profile your skill level or ideas.



What if someone intelligent came to your place of work from say a website that rated shelters, the website could not change the way you get funding but gave your management rating poor marks over all? Might equal a hurt ego, no? But if they said up front that their opinion mattered little and would not change a damn thing, you might blow it off as a giant 'meh'. I think this is the same but in a social context. But I have been known to be wrong before, so let that marinate too.





Joli
Joli
05:41 Jan 07 2011

But here you have the rater worrying about the ratee's backlash over the opinion they don't HAVE to give. That is my point. This is not a job. If you're stressing over rating someone, you aren't having fun on the site you go to for fun.






BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
09:52 Jan 15 2011

I have to laugh at all this but I guess a disclaimer is better than





BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
09:53 Jan 15 2011

*oops ... I was way to eager!



...better than a stamp with 'I know where you live' written on it.








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