Hurry, it's NOT TOO LATE! What NOT to put in your Halloween bowl for kids:
1. Tootsie rolls, you cheap bastard
2. Candy corn - kids only like them for their squishability, so you'll just be cleaning later.
3. Werther's Originals - sure sign of a pedophile
4. Suckers - see #1
5. Mary Janes - sure sign of an old lady hoping for leftovers
6. Bit-O-Honey - NOT candy
7. Any PEEP-like marchmallow treat - Do I even need to explain this?
8. Fruit - Kids will hate you
9. Licorice - Because I hate it. Unless it's red twizzlers.
10. Mike & Ikes - Medicine tastes better
That's my top 10 list. If you have any I've missed, please add them in comments!
We just want Oh Henry's and Mr. Bigs.
And NOT the little ones, either.
This is my favourite holiday. ^^
11. those nasty-ass peanutbutter flavored taffy things that come wrapped in either orange or black wax paper. WTF?
Coupons! For crying out loud what kid wants a coupon in their candy bag?
11. Candy - On all hallow's eve, the dead may find their peace. Take this annual opportunity to experience serial mugging by juvenile delinquents.
Am I the only one that sees a disconnect here? Or am I just... what's the word... crotchety?
Liam, you've been a crotchety old curmudgeon since you were 12!
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