birra's Journal

birra's Journal


Honor: 13    [ Give / Take ]


14 entries this month


18:11 Sep 30 2008
Times Read: 968




16:56 Sep 29 2008
Times Read: 967



Happily Never Afer...

17:20 Sep 23 2008
Times Read: 1,003

Give me this time

My moment to be enlightened

When everything shines

So clearly and brightened

I see where I was once blind

Obvious from above

The words were inked

In the memory of a love

Buried in a shallow grave

This story of a love

Which nothing could save

Desperately searching

This tale of two lovers

But still never reaching

Always remembering

But still never reaching

Living for each other

A love that all could see

This love coveted by lovers

It seemed meant to be

We journey through

And seek a place so new

Faces unseen

And smiles so few

Voices unheard

And always seeking

What lies within you

We can climb to the highest ledge

To gaze down at that place

Then push me over the edge

Let gravity’s sweet embrace

Take hold of me one last time

And free me

From this longing for a love

Never meant to be

Show me the screenplay

That was written for this life

So I may know my cue

And know all my lines

And not fail you

As I have so many times

For the words have been written

And held so dear

And the words spoken

Your mouth to my ear

Then find in your heart

The will once more to say

I love you

I forgive you

I will give you one more day



17:39 Sep 23 2008

oh wow!!

if this was written for me i would be crying.. beautiful

17:48 Sep 23 2008

Thank you for writing this birra. It is what echoes in the halls of my mind daily and needs be seen like this to fully appreciate, even if another wrote them they speak to me. And they were written so very artfully, again thank you.

17:59 Sep 23 2008

Beautiful. I love that you ended the piece with a plea for a promise.

07:28 Sep 29 2008

I just read this again tonight. It somehow hit with even more impact. You blow me away, my friend.

14:23 Sep 29 2008

And yet I typoed the title...

...I am so LAME.


Within these walls...

04:16 Sep 21 2008
Times Read: 1,030

Lying on the sopping pavement a hand extends to the man and helps him to his feet. He is alone and his clothes are torn and dirty as the rain washes down his face.

“Who are you?” he asks.

How do I explain it when I know he won’t know?

I say to him, “I am the brother of the seven seas. I am the gravity of the tides and the darkest night’s guiding light. I am the one who allows the infection’s hot fever to twist your mind; to change the visions that you see. All of what you believe to be real is merely the fantasy I have given you.”

He drops his head into his palms and I can feel his struggle to not weep and not cry, for these emotions do not belong. His hands fall to his sides and with a deep breath to resolve his will he closes his eyes and raises his face to the sky to meet the cold and poisoned rain that falls over him.

I take his hand once more and open his palm towards me. I say to him, “Take this pill. It is the only one you will need. Swallow it down with the rain and your tears. Your pain has been great, but soon it will all be washed away.”

With a deep sigh his eyes meet mine, “Why?” he asks, “Why must it be this way?”

I don’t respond with words. Words would not help him now, not when he is already this far gone. I close his fingers around the pill in his hand. His rough, cracked and stained skin, his swollen knuckles, his resistance to what he can no longer avoid stops him from making a closed fist. He opens his fingers and looks down at the pill, magically, still dry.

He looks back up at me; his gaze greeted with a nod of acknowledgement and encouragement. He lifts his hand to his mouth. The white pill falls in past his blue and bleeding lips. He trembles as he tilts his head back again, upward to the crying skies with his mouth open to take in the rain.

And he swallows.

He turns away and staggers back toward the alley.

I shout to him through the sound of the rain slapping the pavement at my feet and thunderclaps above, “You can’t walk away! You can’t escape! There is no leaving this behind!”

Slowly he turns, head hung low, but with a fixed and angry glare from his sunken eyes. He walks back towards me. His steps weakened. His bare feet slowly dragging through the puddles.

“Tell me,” he demands, “I must know. It was real, wasn’t it? Please tell me it was real.

Tell me… was it love?”

“Love?” I ask back at him with a tone of incredulous disbelief. I laugh out loud at his folly. “Who could love you? You sorry sack of shit! You’re pathetic. You honestly thought it was anything more than your own infatuation?”

With a quivering lip and lacking the strength to take another step, he grasps at my shirt to help him stay on his feet; to help him maintain any sense of dignity. He asks, “But… the feelings. It felt real. I felt it!”

“For you maybe,” I replied, “you’re the one that could love the dog that bites at your ankle, or the snake that twists around your neck until you choke. You’re so desperate for what you don’t have - what no one is willing to give you. And why? Because you think it will make you worth something? You think if you love enough that snake will love you back and stop squeezing the life from you? You let your desires blind you from seeing yourself as you are: A worthless piece of crap, cast-away from society. Feelings? Fuck your feelings. Your feelings brought you here and left you wallowing in shit and filth. Maybe that is where you belong, but I have to bring you back.”

He begged, dropping to his knees, still clutching at my clothing, “How… tell me… how can I make it back now?”

I shoved him off. He collapsed on his back, gasping for breath.

I stepped forward and knelt on his chest to look him in the eyes.

“First... you must die…”



04:50 Sep 21 2008

You've once again managed to blow me away.

I read and can see this moment play out in my mind. The anger, frustration, and injustice. Powerful stuff and NOT crap. :p

00:52 Dec 17 2010

You're words have moved me so, now I have tears blurring what screams out at me. I think I prefer it blurred, the reality of it all is simply too stark.


Cheese school...

02:49 Sep 18 2008
Times Read: 1,064

And the full moon

Shines bright on the horizon

Glowing through the

Trees in an ever changing dance

Of light and shadows

Filling the spaces

Between each leaf

I stare to the heavens


Gazing up upon the light

It casts on me

Thinking of those

Summer nights

When I’d pause

For just a moment

On the path in front

Of your apartment

To see a lamp

Casting a light

Through the blinds of your window

Your silhouette

An ever changing dance

Of light and shadows

And the stars and the moon

Smiling down on me



08:35 Sep 18 2008

A soft song of wistfulness and moonlight shadowplay. Everything is right with this piece except its title.

13:14 Sep 18 2008

...hrmmm.. I thought the title was the best part.

Credit for that has to go to faeriemoon and speranza.

22:34 Sep 18 2008

Always ready to help

04:53 Sep 21 2008

I was just asked for the first word that came to mind. Can you guess which word is mine?

Oh and Speranze noticed if you say Cheese School really fast it sounds like she's cool. ;)


Remind me again...

04:06 Sep 17 2008
Times Read: 1,089

The morning light strikes

My closed eyes squeezing tight

I roll across the bed

And rest a hand on a

Cold and empty place

Feeling nothing


The smell of coffee brewing

Its rich scent

Like nuts harvested in autumn

Roasting on the top of an old

Black iron stove

Taking the chill

From the morning air

The inky dark liquid slowly

Filling the glass pot

And the smell…

The smell…

Reminds me again…

The cold tile floor

Tells my feet to step quickly

To the task of this day

Coaxed on by desire

And this hot cup cradled

Between my hands


The day will come and go

With the sun’s high arc

Across the pale blue sky

The clouds sweep by

Over my head as

Billowing majestic towers

In the sky

Molding the light through

Shadows and hope

The hope…

Reminds me again…

I watch the day wane

Into twilight

The orangey clouds

Shed their faux glow

And I grow gray

With the evening clouds


A rumble above

Flashing lights traveling

Through the pinwheel of light

Presenting in the clear night sky

A single cloud above me

Full of puffy white edges

That give way to the gray shadow

It has become

And the flashing lights disappear into it

A childhood fantasy and a wish

The wish…

Reminds me again…

I step back inside

To a place so unfamiliar

Here is what I need

But missing so much

I wander a stray line

Feeling that cold tile floor


Rocks of water

Clank on thick glass

The clear liquid poured on

Illuminates the crystalline

And silver stones

Carving their new form

With its edgeless knives

A weapon I take in

More willingly then when the

Rocks themselves give up

Their form

And the warmth fills me

The warmth…

Reminds me again…

The song plays in my head

Inviting me to

Rest my eyes

Before the morning sun

Showers them with

The awakening of a new dawn


The glasses empty

One by one

And the song remains the same

The rising voices fill

My mind wandering

To a time the song

Haunted my dreams

With a fear and pain

A tear rolls solemnly

Smiling to hear the song

The song…

Reminds me again…

A noise

But there is nothing

A smell

But there is nothing

A taste and a feeling

But there is nothing

But alone

And all this to remind me again…



04:28 Sep 17 2008

No one word could describe this. Deep, very deep.

05:54 Sep 17 2008

I never quite know how to express how much your writing moves me. Stunning, simply stunning.

05:42 Sep 18 2008

The way you describe things never fails to surprise me... I love that.

Most poetry never surprises me or makes me want to read it twice.


Where do they find these people?

16:53 Sep 16 2008
Times Read: 1,107

On the phone with my distributor's Microsoft licensing department... which they have outsourced to the Philippines...

MS: Ok, on this part you are ordering you have a price of $168.94. The price in our system is $169.92.

B: The price on our PO is the price we were quoted.

MS: Ok.

(Long Pause)

MS: So shall I proceed with the order using the price of $169.92?

B: No, you shall proceed using the price we were quoted.

MS: (Silence) But the price in our system is...

B: Can you transfer me back to sales please?




16:57 Sep 16 2008

Global market yayness? A dollar in the Philippines goes a long way btw.

17:03 Sep 16 2008

Oh god... You need sushi.

05:32 Sep 17 2008

A dollar goes a long way, but five dollah and they love you long time.

19:44 Sep 17 2008

... do you want fries with that ?


At work today...

03:07 Sep 16 2008
Times Read: 1,126

Working with a new engineer at the hospital I was at... she was listening to country music...

D: Is my music bothering you?

B: No, not at all.

D: Do you listen to country music?

B: No, but I can get a better appreciation and understanding for it...

D: Understanding?

B: Yeah... it confuses me sometimes. I mean, is it the truck that died and the dog ran off? Or the dog died and the wife ran off?

D: It's not all like that...

B: So, ok... the dog ran off and the truck is rusty?

D: ...

B: The dog died and the wife is rusty? Now that would be bad...

D: ... How long are you working here today?



03:32 Sep 16 2008

Ha. Nice. =]

And for your information: The dog ran off, the truck died, and the wife is off somewhere sleeping with a trucker. =p

16:59 Sep 16 2008

0.o ... bwahahahahahaha!



07:02 Sep 11 2008
Times Read: 1,142

Take each breath in fully

Filling to the core

Filling with life

Consuming the emptiness

But with breath alone

We cannot fill all needs

Days on days

And time within time

The actions are the same

And the results in kind


And without change

Each breath goes


Take a deep breath

And taste the sweet

Summer air

Find your direction

On the breeze

And return to the primal

Instincts that drive you

We eat

We breathe

We sleep

We breathe

We live

We breathe

We love

We breathe

Our breath is


Our breath gives life

To our lives

Take a deep breath

Feel your life inside

And share your breath

With me

And on your breath

I will find my life

With the air that surrounds

And fills us

And commands our lives

And gives us voice

And gives us song

And gives us the opportunity

To breathe again

Breathe deep

And feel your breath

Fill you to the core

And let it consume your emptiness

While you feel your life inside

As you seek to fill your needs

And let your breath surround me

And let my heart rise

And take your next breath for me



03:14 Sep 16 2008

"Breathe deep

And feel your breath

Fill you to the core

And let it consume your emptiness

While you feel your life inside

As you seek to fill your needs

And let your breath surround me

And let my heart rise

And take your next breath for me"

The stuff of dreams. Beautiful as always...you impress me.

17:02 Sep 16 2008

birra, I liked this one very much, very well done. I particularly liked this:


And on your breath

I will find my life

With the air that surrounds

And fills us

And commands our lives

And gives us voice

And gives us song

And gives us the opportunity

To breathe again


Powerful, prayerful and possesed. Nice.



17:05 Sep 09 2008
Times Read: 1,154


Unspoken words shared between

Remain in a grave so silent

Their form

Undefined and mysterious

They can give each other so much

But not the words that can set them free



17:15 Sep 09 2008

That is beautiful. I feel it acutely, that inability to break silences when there is beauty all about. *hug*



17:04 Sep 09 2008
Times Read: 1,155



The Island's Song...

08:31 Sep 08 2008
Times Read: 1,174

Alone at a metal rail

An empty bottle

By an empty glass

Dots of melted ice

And rinds of lime

Head slumped low

Between slouching shoulders

Unsure of where to go

Unaware of where he has been

The visions of a great love

Left behind by patience lost

And miles walked in vain

A journey of want

Unfulfilled and alone

His heart breaks again

And pours through

The empty bottle

No longer satisfying

The emptiness within

For this life unworthy

Of the breaths taken

And the love forsaken

The next bottle

Opened and poured

Because tonight is as good

And tomorrow is another day

To try to succeed

At finally forgetting



09:02 Sep 08 2008

Wow. I envy you and your ability to use words in such a beautiful and emotion evoking way.

13:56 Sep 08 2008

What a treat to wake up to. It's beautiful.


From the upper one...

02:26 Sep 08 2008
Times Read: 1,194

Show me where the sparrow nests

In a tree top on a mountain side

High above the stony ground

Through the mist of the morning

In the golden light of dawn

To find her worm

Tell me where the rabbit lives

A grassy burrow in soft earth

Behind the fence of the farmer’s garden

Dotted with carrot stalks

And husky corn so crisp

Hidden in the shadows of dusk

Let me hear the children’s laughter

Under their father’s watchful eye

On a playground

With spinning colors

And dusty running footsteps

Beneath the summer’s hot sun

Lay with me in the grass

To watch the mantis stalk

Standing statuesque

Disguised in her green dress

And the long shadows of the afternoon

To strike her unwitting prey

Walk with me on a sandy beach

The salty waves washing between our toes

Gulls call and circle beyond

The breaker in the distance

As the water sparkles with the reflection

Of heaven’s unyielding light

Treat me to a lover’s embrace

In the grassy meadow

Cooled by the afternoon rain

Writhing as one

With love and passion

As the thunder rolls between gasps

Let me live this life

And all that I can have

Everything to take in

Before time catches my footsteps

And I draw my last sweet breath




02:36 Sep 08 2008

*feels faint*

My god... That was incredible. Something about it is so classic, it flows and reminds us all of our own wants and desires. *sigh* I need to hug you.

19:15 Sep 08 2008

This may be my favorite piece of all that you have written.



19:24 Sep 05 2008
Times Read: 1,219

Born to




That works...



19:35 Sep 05 2008


21:05 Sep 05 2008

who is this Brad person I keep hearing about? lol

05:56 Sep 08 2008

Hey! I used "douchebag." Find your own D!

16:25 Sep 21 2008

Hmmm, douchestick maybe? Doucheclub? Douchesack? Douchewater...ick... ok, I's done wiff douches...lol.

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