Welcome to Indiana, where the forecasts are made up and the seasons don't matter. Saw that earlier on my friends page...lol So true! It was 60 yesterday and now it is snowing and going down to 16 tonight! smh
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters.
The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while ‘the lights would turn off.’
Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, ‘May I please use the restroom?
The bartender replied, ‘OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.’
‘Well, in that case, I’ll just look the other way,’ said the nun.
So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. !
She went to the bartender and said, ‘Sir, I don’t understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?’
‘Well, now they know you’re one of us,’ said the bartender, ‘Would you like a drink?’
‘No thank you, but, I still don’t understand,’ said the puzzled nun.
‘You see,’ laughed the bartender, ‘every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.
Now, how about that drink?’
It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them......
The police call it indecent exposure, but whatever....
Finally threw the towel in on the sleep factor. Tired of tossing and turning in between just insanely crazy intermittant dreams. Sweating, nausea, and the pang of my ovaries reminding me of mentruation of many years ago. Going to be a tough go to sit through lecture this morning. Periodic table of, huh? No, I am awake...
Go somewhere warm for spring break!!! Logical? YES! Meh, I will be outta here soon enough, living in warmer temps forever. So, I have to take advantage of closer, driveable, and cheaper options! Detroit bound once again and hang with my girl Darkfairie! Maybe head into Windsor as I am seeing some nice options there like a vegetarian restaurant!
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young
couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair.
While tying the girl to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband whispers to his wife, "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict - look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.
If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which the wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline.
I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you, too."
LMAO!!! Thank you ,Just what I needed this morning , something funny to make me laugh
This is funny as hell!
I've heard this one before...still love it! LOL!
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