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i was just wondering how many of you were actually fearful when you found out what you truly were and what was your first reaction

well I think that these forums are very awsome

^ o_O?

Nope, not fearful at all, first reaction: Hm, interesting...

i was certainly not fearful

not at all i embraced it fully and with open arms

mine wasn't an actual awaking to vampirism but to something of a spiritual nature more empath like i wasn't fearful but it does bother me sometimes when things happen you just can't explain

I was afraid.
I'm with BloodxRedxRaven...It was very confusing. Becasue at the same time, I was waking up to my teenagehood, and a very traumatic event had just took place, and I didn't face it very well, and took the easy way out. "I don't want to feel", and I did everything I could to make it happen.
It was not the wisest choice...

I never feared it. I welcome it.

I was very afraid. I had a Forced Awakening. All I had at the time was movies and novels. Then the internet opened my eyes to what I was.

i wasnt scared of it...i was more confused that anything...i wasnt sure if what i was, was even real...but eventually i learned and grew...but now im so glad that i know...

i thought i was more screwed up in the head the i had origionally thought...went to see doctors and even shrinks until i finally went and meditated for an answer and it came to me as clear as day...and then it felt normal and right and the fear of me being a demented person was only part true *winks*

The tale of my awakening can be found in my journal in the "Story" section. Here is a small snippet.

I push at the top of the box, curious to see where I am. The lid doesn’t move. I push a bit harder, hands flattened against the wood. Nothing. I feel around for a latch or hook. There is none. I begin to feel a sense of urgency now. My box is not as comforting now that there doesn’t’ seem to be a way out. My mouth is dry as I feel panic begin to rise. Suddenly, my only thought is to wet my pallet and quench this maddening thirst. I had to escape this trap! I can feel thoughts in my head as I struggle to find some way to open the lid to this nightmare. “Escape!” they scream at me. “Get out! You must get out!” Frantic whispers from beyond.

I awoke one day to find out that I was...........wait for it...........A Human being!!! who is truly into everything "vampire!!" Not a vampire just into vampires!! LOL

well i wont lie. I was qite fearful and did not welcome it through the confusion but i do welcom it now

I was not afraid, but rather... surprised! I'd been through some trauma, and saw this show on vampires with my daughter... and my daughter looks at me and says, "Mom, doesn't this sound familiar to you? Like... us?" I'd just been thinking the same thing.... I've been like this all my life, but only "known" since earlier this month!!!!!

Is it painful to become "What you are???"

Like it was painful for me to become a father??"

My awaking is different.

I'm afraid everytime I wake up!

I am what I am and have always been this way... for as long as I can remember myself :)

I was happy realy, to found out I wasnt alone. I never really understood myself, and this place helped me

I welcomed it and embraced who I am

It wasn't a fear of "vampires" per say, what I feared, when I first realized that I had interests outside the socially defined "norm," was exactly that, a fear that I would not be able to function in society as a whole. I really never had a problem with society and the "norm" in general, only that they freakin BORED me, but that is not a bad thing in and of itself, & it certainly isn't society's fault that they are so lame (for the most part), that's just the way the world is.

So, I feared that I would never find a "balance" between the two, that I would be stuck out in the cold, in the "dark" and on the "outside" for the rest of my life. But once I accepted society the way it is and myself the way I am, the pieces all fell into place, and now I no longer fear. I am at peace and I have my own set of "keys" to come and go with between the two realms as I see fit.

Ii was happy. Ii was very glad to finally put my finger on the situation. It just took some adjustment from the mind set of a man to his beast. That took a bit

perfectly said gothpunkstarfighter....

idk i dont think i understand ur question

LOL, thanks! hehehe...

I am not afraid of what I am , nor of what I may become-I am more afraid of having gotten this far, and not being able to finish the journey

im just melissa..........

RED QUEED said: "I am not afraid of what I am , nor of what I may become-I am more afraid of having gotten this far, and not being able to finish the journey"

Well said, Your Majesty! When I think on these words, they hold some truth for me as well. Still, we have to stay strong and live one day at a time.

i wasnt afraid...I was utterly confounded, I didnt know what to do, I just staied away from everyone and slowly figured out my abylities and for that I've been able to make some that are older than I look stupid when it comes to knowledge of power

I was afraid and I had a good reason, I lost everyone because of my ways. Yet, when that life died, I wandered and eventually I found this place. It has been my own personal renaissance. Life has returned to my body and mind, again. My spirt stands on its own two feet again. I thank Cancer (for the site), The members (for their understanding and open-mindedness. Such a wonderful community), and Salem (for the love).
Thank you.

hmmm...when I realized what I was/am/will be...fearful for every moment I see stupidity and ignorance and such a loathing for the members of society that beg to be called different from what they really are and choose to be a thing they are not. I feel nothing but pity for the masses of dregs lost in dillusion.

When I figured out who I really was, it didn't surprise me. I always knew that I had some abilities that were uncommon to the average mortal. I just didn't put 2 and 2 together, when I did I said "oh that's why". There was no fear, just a overwheling feeling of releif to finally realize who I really was.

I have no fear but i'm i dont think i know what you are asking

I would have to agree with gothpunkstarfighter. I was born a human and will die a human. I wasn't confused, I was scared to know that I had to grow up and be an adult and take on the world as we know it. that is scary!

when i first discovered what i was, i was a little nervous because i did not know what to expect. but then as my powers grew i became somewhat more comfortable with them and now i am very curious as to how far i will be able to go with them

No fear.

I was never afraid, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a confusing time. The first time I was confronted with the truth it was like my eyes were ripped open, and I wanted to take in all of the information I could.

I studied for nearly a year before I asked the people who had brought it to me, and the rest is history.

yeah, i can't really say i was scared either, but let's just say my eyesight is still really bad at twilight.... but sence I'm still in school, i have no choice but to walk in the day, which reminds me... if anyone ever tells you that the sun can't hurt you, THEY'RE LYING!!! I know this for a fact, i never used to get sunburns like I do now!!! And it's winter here!!!

I guess it's obvious but, i only awakened a few months ago... I am still unknowledgeable in many ways....

Freaked the hell out. - CITN S.S.

In a way, everyhing is a different awakening, so I wouldn't put sincere dramatic emphasis on it. Its just general expansion of our own ideas, and intergration into my own life.

Its something I can think about for days, or ignore for days. I don't see why discovering something new should be scary.

I'm not a vampire and I don't know how I would responed to waking up and finding out that I was. Thinking and actions are completely different.....

neither is anyone else....

In some sense and I believe it varies from person to person, aren't we? If not then what are we? Sociopaths? Loonies? What are your *real* opinions, people? I believe, C'est tout!

well, the "fact" is we are ALL human...that is all, nothing more ,nothing less. Unless the question is meant as How did we feel when we chose to pretend to be vampires full time. But that still doesn't change the fact that we are ALL HUMAN. We cannot sustain life by drinking solely blood, we need not sleep in our native soil to live, we NEED to work and pay bills(unless we still live with our parents), we NEED to eat FOOD. We can enter the suns light and NOT die. And NO-ONE is immortal. We are as close to being immortal as we are at walking on the sun.

There was no fear.. I have always been as I am now.. It was more of a a realization and an embracing.. hence my quote "embrace the darkness before it embraces you" ... meaning you can run from the darkness you are feeling...but you cant run forever.. embrace what you are and become one with it.

i beleive in most cases you can accept and move on but figuring out a life changing thing like being a vampire i am sure can be devastating...i am sure that there are some cases that people have taken it very hard and didnt know how to handle it...but i think everyone in here is very lucky on the way they were able to deal with it...some more than others...i beleive being a vampire is a blessing...and i am quite happy of what i am now....

I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember, but up until I was around 14 I never could pinpoint what it actually was that set me so far apart from everyone else. I’d never gotten into vampire movies or anything so I couldn’t look at the tv and say “Hey..that’s what I am” as a child. At around the age of 14 though I came across a book about real life vampires and what the people were talking about made more sense to me about who and what I was rather than my parent’s saying I was just a standoffish and misunderstood child. It scared me though, I didn’t think I’d find others like myself and for the next 3 years I lived in fear of what others would say/do if they found out. I told my mother once and she simply told me I was a freak. And even to this day if I’m in her presence and something about real life vampires comes on, she’ll go out of her way to voice the fact that they are crazy and freakish. Heh, so much for support. Safe to say I embraced this fully now, despite the people around me. Now, I wouldn't change a thing about my being a vampire, and if given the choice, I'd take vampire over "normal" person, so to speak, anyday..erm..night.

I seem to notice a trend with peoples "awakenings" and the age they came to realize it...seems most "awakenings" are on or about the time of puberty.

As a human child I had premonitions, still do but not as often, and I knew that I was destined for this. I had several years to get used to it and finally enjoy it. Maybe a little too much, but who cares.

I knew I was but was confused on what to expect and how to know about what I was

I was confused at first but realized that I had to either embrace who I was or I could deny it and end up like some of the humans out there who live in denial today. So I embraced who I was and now I would never change myself for anything.

no mam it had nothing to do with puberty for me ( i was 25 ). I have said this before and i will say it again. When i say " Vampire" I am not refering to the hollywood bull like anne rice made although i love her stories. What i am refering to is a real vampire and for those who judge and do not even know what that is i would suggest maybe doing alittle research

I agree wholeheartedly!!! Adolescence???

ROFLOL I was ~forty~ years old when I had my Awakening!!! Hormones have nothing whatsoever to do with it... ROFLOL

when i awoke, i was hungry for blood, so i invited all of my sisters and brotherins to a feast! the only ones who feared that night were the hunted!

Crapp sorry if blank one is up above.

But, I'm still afraid of what I am, because I am not a vampire, nor am I fully human, not lycan. Something else. One might say the Yang to what is Yin/Vampires. And there is something else.

not scared.. ... nope...

no, just only one part of me but thats all, the others no, but ive accepted who i am and that is what counts

no, just only one part of me but thats all, the others no, but ive accepted who i am and that is what counts

being a vampire flowed through my romanian viens like lava over pompe... i just took a certain woman to unlock my hibernating fangs

i was not afraid because i asked for the dark gift i was embraced not awakened yes it brought out my darker more primal side but i was never afraid...

i had the choice of being what i am or not and i chose this and i knew everything that could happen after i was and i started felling everything so differently sometimes i would be frightened becouse i was unsure of what was happening i have embraced it and i love it but it was only afterwards when i was a little afraid

Those are all very interesting responses, I love viewing things in a new way I had never thought about people being fearful once they realized what they are, thank you!

u should never show fear not even in the face of death fear is a weakness

Thanks for the input peeps. Time to sleep.