So, yeah. Backstory, We went to a motel 6 and then a studio 6 and then moved in with another one of our partners. However, since the move in they have been extremely distant and now they are telling me that they aren't able to handle it at this time. So it's back to a search for a place to call home in ABQ (Albuquerque) . Right now we do not have the money to get a deposit or application fee or what not. So I guess we will try to save as much money as possible to get out of here. Since It's clear they can't have us here.
I wish they would
have said something about this earlier, we could have had something else. I'm not sure what to do anymore. I can't do this I really can't I have my own shit I'm trying to fucking deal with. I didn't need this ontop of that.
he pulled the last straw. They didn't bother checking on me after the events that happened earlier. They didn't even acknowledge me. Like I was trash.
You don't know how fucking pissed I am. I'm so damn fucking pissed ugh ugh ugh if they fucking talked to me. Now they want to completely pay for my new phone that I cut a deal with them to pay back. This ain't no cheap phone. I give them back their living room, they clean the place out of stuff to use.
I had another breakdown. While falling to my knees out onto the bed. I almost let out a very loud crying.
Then I remember oh right I'm in a motel. I can't do that. I can't even have a breakdown and I keep feeling it's going to happen.
Even as writing this. With the move out of the house, and then into a motel room to a motel room studio. Trying to find our new place.
Trying to hold my sanity in. Trying to hold on. I feel that I can't. I've been trying to get therapy since may 2021!!!!! I have yielded one therapist that i couldn't work with. All there was waiting lists and waiting lists and intakes and if they could meet my needs. I haven't found jack shit. I'm supposed to have someone helping me with things and even that's a waiting time. I'm doing the best I can and Trying to hold everything together has been rough on me. I need help and I'm out of ideas. I was triggered by looking in the mirror and I heard myself say I'm ugly. I argue about something I'm not even right about just because I think I'm right and I'm not. . I hate that in me and I don't' want to do that anymore. I'm falling apart I need some serious help.
Isn't there some type of urban legend about that hotel chain? I remember reading about it somewhere. Ahh don't want to jynx them you already know how I like them.
in a motel for now, then to a studio motel with a fucking kitchen.
wish me luck
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