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Joli's Journal


Joli's Journal

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7 entries this month
 

18:46 Mar 24 2009
Times Read: 684


Excerpts from a message I sent in reply to a friend asking after me:


I'm doing very well, all things considered. I am watching all the people I love becoming transformed human beings. That has been an amazing journey, far more meaningful than the transitory illnesses of the flesh.


My parents, my sister, my son, Beastt17, Ockham, and Stabb666...all miracles before my eyes.


Thank you for checking in on me. Dad and I have chemo school tomorrow, and mom is home recovering. I am warm, loved, and well blessed, and Meatball keeps my toes warm. It's a good life that has such beauty.

COMMENTS

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FallenPixie
FallenPixie
19:12 Mar 24 2009

If anyone can see the beauty that life beholds...even in the smallest of things... you are most certainly one of those exceptional few ;-)





Ockham
Ockham
19:44 Mar 24 2009

If anything, I've transformed into a meaner, crueler Ockham. My boundless fury knows only the icy breath of winter, and my inner fountain of rage is warmed only by the embers of hatred. :)





Joli
Joli
19:49 Mar 24 2009

"Who you are speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say to the contrary." ;)





Ockham
Ockham
20:04 Mar 24 2009

Your libelous sentiment is noted in the book of reckoning, Madame. It is noted.





Angelus
Angelus
15:29 Mar 25 2009

those who comment, do so as they see an Angel:

and, not in name.. you're cool, well cool.





 

23:06 Mar 18 2009
Times Read: 742


The difference in their posture and body language was so apparent from the surgeon in my father's case. These two doctors, after 7 hours of prep and surgery with my mom, looked like they had just stepped off of a golf course. They were smiling and relaxed. Mom did great. Nothing looked suspicious or anomalous. They removed 10 lymph nodes and they look good. We're only waiting on pathology to give us the final green flag, but so far, we have all good news!


Thank you for all our prayers!


COMMENTS

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dabbler
dabbler
23:10 Mar 18 2009

I remember waiting for my moms Biopsy, you are very observant

regarding the doctors.





Angelus
Angelus
23:28 Mar 18 2009

May I also add my kindest wishes, for their recovery Joli.





LadyChordewa
LadyChordewa
05:17 Mar 19 2009

That is great news!!!!! Give your mom a hug from all of us here and let her know that she is an inspiration, just like her daughter.



Sinora
Sinora
07:47 Mar 19 2009

*Hugs* all round.





birra
birra
14:05 Mar 19 2009

That is wonderful! Thank you for sharing the good news! I hope everything continues well on her path to full recovery and remission.





ThothLestat
ThothLestat
17:01 Mar 19 2009

that's GREAT news!

yay for everyone!





Nightgame
Nightgame
21:48 Mar 20 2009

Your Mom sounds like an amazingly strong woman. Best of luck to you all.





Beastt17
Beastt17
00:25 Mar 21 2009

I'm going to continue holding my breath until they're both pronounced cancer-free. They have so many advantages, not the least of which is a loving, caring and immensely strong daughter, on their side.





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
16:08 Mar 21 2009

When I was 19 Mom had one breast removed- some lymph nodes was any issues. But due to meds, love and support she is now 22 years cancer free. I remember that fear- and I only can say I am thinking of you and your family.



Be strong and know others are here if you need to talk, to just be something else for a second.





FallenPixie
FallenPixie
19:15 Mar 24 2009

My partner, Christy, and I have been following all the progress... She helps me a bit with understanding some of the medical terms. It's a plus to have your own personal nurse *big smiles*



We're both sooo happy for you all, and I know there will be nothing but good news to come :)





Irony
Irony
04:52 Mar 26 2009

I will keep mine coming, can never have too many. I am so glad they are doing well and I hope they continue to recover quickly.





 

18:51 Mar 16 2009
Times Read: 777





I was a wreck the night before Dad's surgery. I'm already crazy today. Mom and Dad have to be there at 5 AM and the surgery starts at 7AM. As soon as I get the girls off to school, I'm heading for the hospital.


Mom will be having the double mastectomy and reconstructive surgery. Please send your prayers our way. I know many of you already are and they have made a difference to us all. Dad is going to be there after all...when all this began, we thought they would both be having surgeries at the same time. This has been so much better.


Dad has procedures beginning on the 20th. I'm not clear on whether that's chemo beginning or just more appointments. There's so much changing all the time, it's hard to get it all clarified in my own mind.

COMMENTS

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ThothLestat
ThothLestat
19:11 Mar 16 2009

*sends you prayers and cupcakes*





LadyKrystalynDarkstar
LadyKrystalynDarkstar
19:23 Mar 16 2009

I have you and your parents on a prayer list.





Bones
Bones
20:02 Mar 16 2009

*sending prayers your way*



And a hug for you! ;)





BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
20:12 Mar 16 2009

awww babes ..





Blackheresy
Blackheresy
20:37 Mar 16 2009

You got it.





LadyChordewa
LadyChordewa
03:02 Mar 17 2009

*hugs* You got it hon. Please keep us posted.



Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
18:17 Mar 17 2009

*hugs and much love*





Nightgame
Nightgame
02:48 Mar 18 2009

Prayers for you all and healing energy too. Be strong and positive, it matters.





k1ttyvamp
k1ttyvamp
09:07 Mar 18 2009

:( *hugs for the Joli*





TaintedPoison
TaintedPoison
13:32 Mar 18 2009

I have you in my thoughts darling *hugs*





 

Busy and grateful

21:44 Mar 10 2009
Times Read: 834


I got so much done today, but it was all like pulling teeth...right up until the end when it all fit together so perfectly. I still have to get my kidlet to Karate, stop at Office Depot for a few things, and get to the board meeting for 7 tonight. But I think I could probably float through each remaining task if I tried.


I have a small blog on the Center's website. I wrote an entry today.

God teaches me the same lesson again and again in my life. I forget...who's in control again?


COMMENTS

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BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
22:06 Mar 10 2009

My original comment vanished.

Maybe it was G-d trying to tell me something!

So with fear of reprisals I will just say that 'YOU ROCK'!





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
23:16 Mar 10 2009

I wish I was there- I drive all kinds of forklifts, tractor trailer (just a little) and any kind of smaller trucks you can throw at me. I would love to just help you as you help others. :)



But you, my lady, are doing very well on your own two feet. With the lord on your side.





Beastt17
Beastt17
17:57 Mar 11 2009

"I got so much done today" - credit where credit is due. You do so much and claim so little.





FallenPixie
FallenPixie
13:50 Mar 12 2009

Isn't it kind of cool when things fall so well into place like a jig saw puzzle? I, too, am often amazed, standing in awe, at the will of the higher powers that be. You made me think and miss back to a time when I would drive around on forklifts and such. Most definitely one of the best aspects of a prior military career ;-)



Thank you, Sweetheart, for reminding me of a couple good times I've had *hugs*





 

17:56 Mar 07 2009
Times Read: 861




The other day, at work, one of the ladies from the class I teach came into my work with yellow roses for me. We hugged and talked a few minutes. She is a widow. Her husband, Michael, died from cancer. (Notice that I am giving it a small "c" because it is not deserving of the same respect as people's names.)


I log in here and read your thoughts for me and for my family. Even Meatball sticks a little closer these days. (The cat still mainly just eats my purse zipper pulls and drags lizards inside when I try for fresh air :P )


Today, I'm going to a plant nursery. Last year, for my birthday, my class gave me a $100 gift card that doesn't expire. I have decided to buy mainly plants with it and do my mulching later. I want lots and lots of plants...everywhere!


Flowers, tomatoes, and herbs this year. Lots of color. And my plum trees (I have 3) look like this will be a good year. I may even try my hand at another lemon tree.


Friends always lament that they cannot do more. Isn't that a gorgeous sentiment? It is selfless and birra is right, it's about sharing burdens and that's what being alive is about...the connections we make while we're here and how we love one another. Don't underestimate your encouragement. I AM leaning on you all, even when I'm quiet.


I'm loving you, digging in the ground, smelling the world around me, playing tug of war with Meatball, and shooing Savvy off of my purse. I pray a lot, but then, I always did...God doesn't seem to mind my prattling away. I can even still write my thoughts, and that is so therapeutic for me. Even in dark times, there are pockets of joy...in fact, those joys are never brighter and more precious than in the times when they are most needed.


OK...off to the nursery to fill my car with plants that will spill their dirt into my car no matter how carefully I pack them. My favorite part is getting home and arranging and rearranging them while they are still in their pots. It's my tribute to being female and they are lighter than the couch.


"I think that hibiscus would look good there....no...there. hmmm. Maybe if the hibiscus were here and the periwinkles were there..." It's a gorgeous day and I'm going to go get in it! Have a great day and don't stay inside...get your butts outside and drink a glass of iced tea or something. Drag a chair out there and point and laugh at your neighbors, even if it's raining! Love you guys...bye!

COMMENTS

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Beastt17
Beastt17
05:43 Mar 08 2009

I've always loved a plush, green, cooling garden. My hand, however, seems most adept at turning green things to a crispy, withered shade of brown. These days I leave them to cope for themselves rather than spilling drab hues upon them. I'm glad that you do better and bathe in the experience.





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
16:03 Mar 08 2009

Flowers and a garden show you the circle of life, and for that I always loved mine. Ahh those moments of laying the flowers out, trying to pick the order to plant. :) A joy I have to wait a few more weeks for, lucky people in the south.





Silverbow
Silverbow
18:13 Mar 08 2009

Pictures... I want.. pictures of the new garden when you are done. :)





Blackheresy
Blackheresy
00:20 Mar 10 2009

There was this tree I read about once that grows like gangbusters, I think it was called an emporer tree or something. They looked beautiful and bloomed. Lemme check and see, ok?





 

The Mom and Dad Update

01:56 Mar 07 2009
Times Read: 887





I know I haven't written much about my folks and what's going on. Many of you have been kind enough to ask. I'm going to keep this informational and brief because it is so hard to write about.


Dad's diagnosis is papillary adenocarcinoma. He has had the surgery to remove his tumor on the left lung. He is at Stage 3...not good, but stage 3A, so it could be worse. His port has been put in place and he is set to begin his first of 2 rounds of chemo and radiation. His first bout will be 6 weeks long and then the last wave will be a deeper, more agressive chemo, and radiation again, I think. Scary, and often heart breaking, but our family is close and there has been beauty in this journey, too...and profound moments. I imagine there is much more of it all to come.


Mom is going through tests and pre-operative workups. Her surgery will be a double mastectomy with reconstructive surgery at the same time. I have not received the definitive word about whether or not chemo will follow...I imagine that will depend on her lymph nodes. While her surgery will be more invasive (dad's was done via scopes and a small 1 inch incision), her prognosis is better at this juncture.


I'm not going to repeat the numbers the doctor gave us on dad's prognosis. They were hateful, torturing statistics about my FATHER, not a dot on a screen. Because my father's fight is uniquely his own and nobody has ever fought exactly his fight ever before, only HIS experience, attitude, words, and outcomes will tell his tell. The same for my mom.


I am so proud of them both. They continue to teach me, even in my adulthood what it is to love, trust, and forge on with the right kind of heart. Every moment with them is precious...but then, it has been all along. Now, go let somebody you love know what they mean to you...NOW! Go on, GIT! :)

COMMENTS

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dabbler
dabbler
02:21 Mar 07 2009

Candles still burning Joli, for them, and for you.





birra
birra
04:27 Mar 07 2009

...and these same friends that share in the beauty of the gifts you give to us... your heart, your inner strength, your wonderful words... we will be here to share your hurt and take your burdens too.



Just give them to us.





Sinora
Sinora
09:30 Mar 07 2009

You help me to remember the important things in life, thank you. *hugs*.





BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
09:50 Mar 07 2009

Always, ALWAYS in my thoughts. x





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
10:16 Mar 07 2009

*hugs tight*



Here if you need me. Wish I could do more for you and your family at this time.





Morrigon
Morrigon
13:59 Mar 07 2009

You are wonderful





Nightgame
Nightgame
15:37 Mar 07 2009

Your words make me cry for the pain your family is in but also there is such hope and faith in them and true appreciation of what you have there. It's great that you are not letting the bad take away from all the good that still exists between you. My prayers are with you.





FallenPixie
FallenPixie
13:39 Mar 12 2009

Does that include you as well? *HUGE HUGS*

You are one of those few friends I'm most honored to have and my care runs deeply for you. As always, I'm here when you need me, and even if/when you don't ;-)





 

Dirty Hands and Philosophy

02:41 Mar 06 2009
Times Read: 918





I never wear gloves. Yes, I've read the horror stories of what can happen to your hands, but I NEED that earth on my skin. I'm not being romantic, either. I absolutely love dirt. Today, I finished cutting away the dead places in my garden. I love canna lillies. I do not recommend growing them unless you do love them, because it is a true commitment.


Each year, the cannas multiply from the year prior. They grow taller and taller. Mine are now as tall as 7 feet high. They are tropical and when they die off in the winter, the maintenance can be back-breaking. Today, I saw the new shoots coming up from the ground. They are quite magical...the leaves are BIG and they begin to unroll slowly until they are fully stretched out. When I water them, I aim the streams of water down the little "pipe" system of rolled new leaves.


My hands smell like earth and ginger, earth and rosemary. All the dead is gone and rebirth is upon us. The beds still seem a little bare in places where my annuals will go. I suppose I am rather predictable. Each year I start running my fingers through the soil and feeling philosophical. I can't help it...the parallels just work for me. They are simple and honest.


The earth is an ancient medicine woman who practices before my eyes the art of healing. I am her faithful disciple.

COMMENTS

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moonkissed
moonkissed
04:22 Mar 06 2009

time for me to start gardening too.





Beastt17
Beastt17
06:06 Mar 06 2009

A tightly wrapped, complex and intriguing paradox with a bit of dirt under her fingernails and paint drips on her shoes.





BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
10:18 Mar 06 2009

Honest dirt is never dirty.

Canna lilies, aren't they of the banana family, with a bright red beauty?

Thank you for this stroll through your garden, now wash your hands!





Blackheresy
Blackheresy
01:00 Mar 07 2009

Hmmm, yet another reason to admire you from afar. Planting roses and edible things in my grandmothers garden was always a treat followed by sweet sun tea. I miss my nanna, but remember the time being well spent and the earth like a long time friend. Thank you for reminding me of this. :)








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