Maybe a recipe book on the eating of their children? Nah, it's been done.
Perhaps I should channel Mark Twain, Erasmus, or Rabelais. Nah, too showy.
I wonder if Weird Al is free...
I modestly propose that you look into ceasing your satire, lest you, like Aristophanes of old, face the slings and arrows of the VR illuminatus. Terrible and potent is the unwashed wrath of the masses, who are obviously all to be counted amongst such an elite group.
Hmm, I don't know... Child recipe books are always good in my opinion. Roast small annoying child with apple sauce is a good standby for those unplanned dinner parties:)
today's kids are too fat for a roast, but they make great chili.
or cup of toilet paper...and i mean that non-rudely.
i think it's cute, but then again, "toilet humor" is one of my driving forces...
..or is it farces?
I'd like one lump of sugar please =]
I do love satire. I just could not come up with any comments worthy of your composition or anything that could follow such a distinguished panel.
Fold your rolls in honour of the forward facing sheet!
I would like to try one of your beers, Ms.
Dem's good beers, dat fo sho!
The grounds will drink of the blood of the back-rollers, the grass will choke upon their entrails, gasping for light under the treacherous weight of their corpses. Their villages will burn in righteous flame, and no hiding hole of their ill-begotten breed will escape our notice. There is no God who will grant mercy upon them, no loving Father to hear their cries. Only the cold steel of our cause will bear witness to their final ignominious moments.
I'm probably going to get blinded for saying this, but isn't the back rolling where it dispenses from the back side of the roll?
If so, the back rolling is far more convenient. It allows for easier rollback if one accidentally unravels too much. I am a back roller for precisely that reason. No need to to be a front roller, because if you pull out too many sheets, t'is a pain to roll them back with any degree of neatness. I take a great deal of pride in a perfectly rolled toilet roll, and the only way to achieve this consistently is to be a back roller.
Although for me there is an issue of even greater significance. Those who leave the toilet seat up, and those who politely put the seat back down.
I really don't care about which way the paper hangs.... I'm more interested in the battle between folders and crumplers.
I mean, to not fold your toilet paper neatly before wiping is just a waste. You can't efficiently use the same paper by folding it back over and crumplers are far more likely to end up with the dreaded brown finger.
UNITE AGAINST THE CRUMPLERS!!!!!
Don't you see how ridiculous you are, Birra and Genesis? I have laid out the crux of the matter and you want to apply your rationalizations. Get over yourselves! I am yelling loudly about this VERY important matter...telling everyone, and sticking unsolicited opinions upon their profiles and portfolios. I am commenting journals with my personal agenda.
You are both obviously immoral back-rollers trying to cause drama and distract me from my noble cause. There is no room for you on VR to disagree with me. You need to get lives. I will spend hours, days, months, and years upon VR if I need to, never logging off...just to prove how ridiculous you are! I laugh at your thoughts and insist to you that I am the clever one here.
My next step is to make a stamp with my amazing crest and plaster it all over the database. "MINIMA MAXIMA SUNT!"
I am truly shocked at your attack on the backside rollers. This country was founded on the ideals that even the lowliest inbred country bumpkin without opposing thumbs is entitled to their preferences, regardless of how misguided they are.
Maybe they are uninformed, and do not realize that their blasphemy and heresy in their ways puts them lower than the spawn from a witch’s toilet.
I believe it is your duty as a humanitarian to head not a crusade but a campaign to educate the unwashed masses on the proper mounting of the roll as God intended.
No. You cannot "teach" a back-roller the way of Truth, any more than you can teach a mouse to be a lion. No, the only true route is to put them to the blade, ending their despicable taint upon this land. They shall not be suffered to take from our air the very first breath that defends their sinful path.
Which polls do you skip and not rate if any?
Started by: VanDick
Apr 16 2008
1. ones I have no interest in 1 4%
2. ones that are just stupid 2 8%
3. ones I don't know anything about 11 44%
4. I rate all of them 10 40%
5. none of them 1 4%
Total Votes: 25
What a pointless poll. A poll about polls. It's like my favorite work trap: the meeting about the meeting, followed by the post-meeting meeting about the meeting.
I was always confused by that prayer. Wouldn't we want God to keep our soul if we should die?
Not when I was a little kid. The prayer made me kinda scared that he was predatory, just waiting for me to nod off so WHAM he could snag my soul! I wasn't sure what a soul was, but I damn well understood, "MINE!"
Brightening my day, as always.....
It's been a long time since a journal entry has made me snrk my coffee...
Come on, GothicMatch.com...how about some new poster girls and boys? As awesome as Cherokee might be, his "I like sweet and tender with a flame of naughty" is starting to get so old that I'm ready to get him to take out my trash and mow the grass.
lmao .........yep hes been waiting for a date for over a year now, about time we got something new to look at :)
Domina Martyria looks way too much like 80's Madonna for me to think shes cute. Plus...a name like Martyria...gee any drama there, you think?
And Sevenn, she sure stepped WAY out on the ol' quote limb for GOTHICmatch "I'm here looking for gothic ppl"
God, text me an aspirin, bff. I M 2 annoyed.
LOL I wanted to take a marker to Cherokee picture- some horns, glasses.
...don't forget the windows and dusting the bathroom floor... ;)
She spun me against her back...yep, she's taller. I am now officially shorter than almost everyone I'm related to. I'm shorter than my 12 year-old! I am only taller than the dog and cat...and the same height as my sister. I wonder if I should have tried for a shortness exemption on my taxes.
One VERY large bloody mary later and they're filed! I filed my friggin taxes ALL BY MYSELF!
Yeah, I did it!
OK and kudos to the photographer...but about the rest of all that...and I dont say it often, but FUVKV that! I do NOT do well with bridges of any size or shape. A 24 mile bridge can kiss my arse. I relate to the windshield hammer, but more to the point, I would never move to a place that would require a windshield hammer. no, no, no, no, no. The end.
the photo is incredible. Wonderful composition. I give at least as much credit to the photographer as the camera.
It would have been more impressive if your daughter was the one driving.
A number of the photos in my portfolio have been taken while driving. While I was driving.
Always an experience....
But the picture is lovely... I can imagine the drive on the causeway is pretty horrible... take the camera and practice.. carefully!
Given the circumstances, very nice shot. :)
Standing at the Grand Canyon, I had the urge to let go and fall...When I stand on bridges, I feel the same.
And that is an impressive picture...It's so level!
Oh and don't listen to Birra's bragging. When he takes pictures as he's driving, he's all over the place. Old ladies are wetting themselves, Men's prostates leap behind their livers...It's a big mess.
My daughter just soaked up all your compliments. she spent excessive amounts of time trying to decode Sevenn's expletive, to no avail. She suggested that lovely MR. Birra is right and she should have the keys. And when she read Morri's post, she reminded me of one of my famous lines to my Sunday school class as I was teaching about Paul's vision. Paul was "prostate before the lord."
I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself. Morri's journal made me do it. Before I knew what I was doing, I had already googled it.
"Jesus H. Christ"
"The expression dates to at least the late 19th century (although according to Mark Twain it was already old in 1850, and likely originates with the ancient Christian three-letter symbolism IHS (the Christogram).
Using the name of Jesus Christ as an oath has been common for many centuries, but the precise origins of the letter H in the expression Jesus H. Christ are obscure. While many explanations have been proposed, some serious and many humorous, the most widely accepted derivation is from the divine monogram of Christian symbolism. The symbol, derived from the first three letters of the Greek name of Jesus (Ιησούς), is transliterated IHS, IHC, JHS or JHC. Since the transliteration IHS gave rise to the backronym Iesus Hominum Salvator (Latin for "Jesus savior of men"), it is plausible that JHC similarly led to Jesus H. Christ.
One factor in the transmutation of the monogram into the expression Jesus H. Christ may be that when the first syllable of Jesus Christ is strongly emphasised (as some speakers of English may do when cursing), the rhythm suggests a missing middle syllable between Jesus and Christ. The H may have been adopted from the monogram to fill this gap."
From the Urban Dictionary
"An alternative to Jesus Christ. The H is added due to numerous reasons. Some say it stood for Holy, some say it stood for Harold because of, 'Our Father, who art in heaven, Harold be thy name'. " BWAHAHAHAHAHA
But this one has to be my favorite:
"H stood for Haploid since Jesus has no human father."
"Jesus Haploid Christ?"
Oh god. First, his last name is not "Christ."
Second, the definition of haploid is: Biology - pertaining to a single set of chromosomes. Come on now, how many people nicknamed you "diploid" in school. If you buy this reason, I'm going to just call you Dip for short :)
You can't possibly know how glad I am that I made that entry. I worry so much about that voice. It's encouraging to know that some of you, whom I hold in high esteem, would share that voice with me.
Morri inspired me to show that side of myself that worries about whether I'm good enough. I work really hard and try to be the best friend, employee, daughter, mother to my children, community member, and woman of faith that I can be. I'm not eaten up by self-doubt, but when I slow down and look closely, there are places within myself that I know are ugly...the little junk drawers of my life that I hide from eyes it would shame me to have look there.
Those places make me wonder why I am trusted with such beautiful things, work, and people in my life. I am grateful that I can be profoundly human and yet enriched by what I do not deserve. I can almost hear people writing here in reply, "you do deserve it" as though that is what I want to hear.
In reflection, I think that just maybe, because we think we are lucky and blessed...that we don't "deserve" it, we cherish it all the more for the gift that it is, not a reflection of how wonderful we think we are.
You're right, Bloodlife. I skimmed the topic and left a ton out.
I might have added:
Verbal - what we say
Vocal - how we say it (inflection, volume, etc...)
Visual - body language
It's far too complex to cover in one journal entry, but it was on my mind and identifying how someone is speaking to you and how you are speaking to them. Diffusing difficult people is a priority at the Center, but also, communicating well with the people on my team matters.
It can get away from me because I'm busy or distracted and the message I'm sending is not what I intend. My coordinator said hello to me as I walked past her desk yesterday and I was 4 steps around the corner when I processed it.
At that point, I HAD communicated with her whether I liked it or not. I backed up, poked my head sheepishly around the wall and said, "good morning, Joycelyn." She had a convex mirror and saw the whole deal, and chuckled at me. Lucky me...she already loves me and her forgiveness of my distractions is legendary.
But still, I need to take that lesson to heart: What on earth is so important that I can't slow down and exchange affection and respect with the people I care about? Usually, not a damn thing. Know what I'd been in a hurry to do? To get a ladder so that I could put up chain pull extenders for the ceiling fans :P
Sometimes it's not your fault. It's just how life is... a big rush! =p
I believe that even if we communicate ''well'' people tend to misinterpret our thoughts, especially when writte.
Example, on-line it's easier to misinterpret words, cause someone can be just kidding and the person takes that seriously considering taht s/he can't hear their tone of voice.
Sometimes I even think that even spoken words ruin communication. I don't think we are completely clear to express what it is in our mind when we speak, because thoughts run much faster than words, even when we are assertive.
Grant me that there are 4 basic communication types:
4. Passive Aggressive
It's important to be able to spot the way that people communicate because people can be difficult. It's equally important to assess your own style. Let's take a look at each type:
First, Assertive V. Aggressive:
Is there a difference? Only completely! An assertive person is confident, communicates, and negotiates. The aggressive person bullies and forces their own way.
The passive person gives up. They believe that it is better to avoid trouble than to confront it.
The passive aggressive person wants to make someone "pay." They are getting even. They are sneaky and will do the opposite of what they say.
Which type are you typically? Be honest with yourself.
We respond in 4 possible ways to the communication styles of others:
1. Comply: a "yes" that confirms and validates the behavior. Their brains read, "that worked...do it again."
2. Ignoring: Do you realize that when you ignore negative communication, it is typically perceived as a "yes?" How can that be? Their brains translate it thus: They don't mind me acting that way. OR, I got what I wanted - "that worked...do it again."
3. Reacting: Going head to head in similar fashion. "that worked...do it again."
4. Confront: Use the assertive model and state your own opinion reasonably. Negotiate where you can, but definitely assert your own opinion firmly rather than ignoring if you are trying to get somewhere.
Am I the only one who gets that niggling feeling sometimes, "You are a fraud and one day everyone will see how lame you really are?"
I hate that little voice, but I guess it makes me work harder just to try and prove it wrong. I know that I am soooo lucky to have the job that I love so much and the friends and family that mean the world to me. Does anyone else get that mean little internal voice that makes them worry that it could all be snatched away?
I suppose that the tenuous nature of things suggests that the little voice does speak some truth. I certainly have my faults and weaknesses and nothing in this world is guaranteed to me.
But if I could shoot the little voice bastard, I would. Its words leave my stomach icey and feeling sick.
I think most people who are capable of self reflection and realizing exactly what they have get that little voice nagging at them.
Try just turning what it says into...Knowing that things change...Appreciate what you have regardless of whether or not you may lose it.
Trust me...It doesn't make losing those things hurt any less...But it makes those moments you had them mean so much more...*sigh*
Everyone gets it - it is how you deal with it that counts. and you do :-)
We are all mortal creatures with our own flaws and our strengths. While it is good to reflect upon our blessings (be it the fruit of hard work or luck), it is best to separate the past from the present and the present from the future.
I agree with TheHellequin, indeed. Then again my voices tell me to also get naked and run around my house singing "I am a witch I am a witch"
Four out of five voices in my head tell me that it's time to eat dinner.
I've fought against that voice my whole life.
The voice serves a purpose; because of it I work harder, I strive for more, I set goals that other might deem unreachable but I see them as rungs in the ladder to something else.
Every so often, I sit in my car alone, reflecting on life.. and that little voice makes my stomach turn inside-out.
But, there is worse company to have. ;)