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-Today's word of the day is Enabling - providing the means, authority, or opportunity to make something possible. It can be positive (empowering someone) or negative (supporting self-destructive behavior by shielding them from consequences). Today I lost my mark and admin status in my coven. I think coven activity should stay in a coven or alliance so if you are in it then take a good look at the RIP'd (Hel) Thread: "Welcome New Members" and you can decide for yourself who is in the right. I do not enable narcissistic behavior and I'll leave it at that. If I don't hear from the CM about the matter then I'll leave as someone that doesn't work things out in a dialog aren't worthy of my loyalty. That's enough about that.

Well got my pantry restocked this morning before it got hot again. Been wanting to work on things but keep being pulled into meditation. I answer the call of my number one donor. There is nothing as satisfying as a deep feed. Later ;)

Later...well like I mentioned in my journal a few days ago I'm back to solitude. That is as much as I can be as a Ramkht. I didn't leave the coven frivolously or out of heated emotion but rather just peace. I keep hearing these words love and friends thrown around like they still apply to awakened human living vampires. We kindred are under a whole new set of dynamics. Seems like just a couple days ago I was praised as a person's only friend. Well what happened to the validity of that notion? lol Now this is a social network and how well a person lies to others and themselves is crucial unless you deal with the consequences of honesty. I deal with the latter. If I can't be honest with someone then I just remain silent about it. I just have to create my own society and run it how I chose. I do not want to deal with people over the internet that's for damn sure. I'll bring people I know in real life there is no substitute. If I do get people through networking on the internet it will be through a mentorship alone unless I meet them in real life.

-There's this saying that it's colder than a witch's tit out there. They sure didn't know the witches I know. Their tits don't get cold quite the opposite their tits are hot both literally and figuratively. I'm redoing this saying: "Its hotter than a witches tit out there". What the hell it was like 40* F just a week ago and it was in the 90's today. That's a fifty degree shift! Anyway, I bought and posted this image in stream today titled: "Nocturne of the Broom" by RedFoxArts from Deviant Art with this thought in mind. I have still been trying to find the sweet spot for how things look on my laptop screen compared to my mobile phone screen. I still haven't found it yet so will be experimenting. I'll find it someday.

I need to go grocery shopping but I dread going out in this heat even though it is dusk now. I'll just wait and go at the crack of dawn it should cool off by then. I haven't been doing much but sitting in front of a fan relaxing. I'd like to go out for a nature hike on the morning of the Spring equinox and get a picture. It happens here just after sunrise which might make for a colorful image. My girlfriend is recovering from a spring cold and will be taking an outing down to this bookstore I haven't been to yet when she recovers. That should be soon. Wow my life used to be so full of activity now I do so little. *SMH*

So today was Saint Patrick's day. This was the guy that brought Christianity to Ireland. I suppose if the religion was true that would be a good thing. I am definitely not in that school of thought. My mind was trained otherwise. Dichotomies created by Patriarchal religions fall way outside the reality of nature to me. They are good for only one thing to empower truth through a deception. The human ego is good at such focusing on it's grandeur rather than the true power of nature. Some days are cloudy while other days are clear. The clear ones are appreciated after weeks of overcast cloudy ones. So it will be to the soul after a life of following a mirage.

Looks like we got some new additions to the coven's admin circle. Definitely wouldn't be my choice but I'm not the CM so will just do what is my responsibility until I create my own. Been dealing with some spiritual negativity that I've had to deal with today with lots of meditation. Now I'm starting to see why. Well what will be will be as I believe in fate. That can be quite liberating if you really think about it. I can do anything and its okay because it was fated to be. LOL

-Here's the newest release from Trobar De Morte:

The Mist

Sad symphony comes to my memory
Something known is coming to me


The breath of the mist is whispering
Something known is coming to me

In the heart of the forest I wait for your eternal embrace
In the heart of the forest I wait for your cold embrace of death

Caress my hair an ancient wind
Something known is coming to me

That warm light is blinding my soul
Something known is coming to me

In the heart of the forest I wait for your eternal embrace
In the heart of the forest I wait for your cold embrace of death

Went grocery shopping early this morning. I changed brands of honey now. No more from Canada. I get it from U.S. Farms now. There's still some good things that come out of Canada like Rush, the show Forever Knight, Moosehead beer and my main news source comes from Ground News. They can thank us for the price of oil they'll be selling to China at a premium price if they can compete with Russia. Anyway restocked my pantry and this journey seemed to wear me out so went back to bed.

Watched this video on You Tube about how the FCC is phasing out copper (land) lines for telecommunications. I didn't know this was happening and it doesn't seem smart to me. They are taking away an important infrastructure that can act like a back-up when others fail. Phone lines have an independent power system so when your local grid goes down in emergencies when you need them most they are there. But no more. Guess the government contracts are going to AI controlled systems now. Really the only person I call is my girlfriend that lives a block away and the quality of that service is shoddy with dropped and distorted calls. If I had a family I'd be getting them all licensed for Ham Radios for communication because our system of communication is fucked. *SMH*

Today my CM created an alliance. Got the new crest put on my profile right next to the coven one. Favor points are pooled to an alliance on the standings page and you also have efficiency that offsets blood cost if you ten or more in it. That seems like a tall order now with little activity on this site lately. The priority to me is pulling resources from places outside vampire rave then once that's done to build alliances here. Members don't seem to do that though from what I've seen. Maybe I'll do some banner placement to do some hunting until I can get my own coven going.

Been meditating on the differences from microcosmic to macrocosmic dynamics. Like the principle "as above so below" in emerald tablet occult doctrine. Many occultists use divine beings in their magick because they have experience in life to relate with them so can draw on these godforms like interacting with the same IRL. In my search for absolute truth I got away from this as the basis for god forms was in physical brains that creates a persona. Yes there seems to be patterns or averages when looking at them as a whole throughout eternity that makes the sublime nature of them but it takes away from the veracity to me. I focused more on my microcosm of understanding how the brain works as well as the elemental patterns in nature to network with the dynamic. It's a work in progress. I seem to be a pioneer in this field.

-Been considering how to best handle a fellow male kindred that has been subtly attacking me. It's like he's saying this is his territory and I should fuck off. I'm really not interested in feeding off of members on this site other than what flows naturally in it's ambience. When it comes to actually feeding off of others I prefer people I know physically. Which is what I'll bring when I create a coven as I prefer to do my own hunting rather than just being a scavenger or parasite that grabs what Cancer is most responsible for bringing to the site. I have created a bond with this website like I would a donor but I've strived to give back whatever I draw in different forms of energy. Others don't seem to worry about it and as a result the site is in a sorry state. Everything dies and is in a state of decay but there actual are attributing principles that certain members on this site personify. Perhaps they feel threatened that I will expose them. Yes indeed I will be doing just that and it will be up to them to prove otherwise.

I created and posted this meme in the stream today. The graphic comes from leatherslut1 from Deviant Art titled: beautiful feast. I'm glad I could create it as an image link to the stream as the premium file storage is a finite resource so I can just use them. Though I tend to bring my own work to the table I can use other postings I like that are stored on a local directory here on vampire rave on Cancer's servers. Made me think of those on this site that just grab a bunch of dead profiles for their covens. I guess some are members they befriended in the past and knew while others just trade and use them as place holders so they can mark more of their friends in this tit for tat bullshit you see repeated in different societies. I have considered that if I just bring in my own donors for my coven and can only mark 1/3 of them then I'll have to contend with this somehow too. I'm thinking my donors will handle that through banner placement or what they bring through their personal hunting. Then once they sire they can branch off and create their own society from their referrals. This seems like a tall order but the right way to do it to me as a vampire. I wonder how long I'll have to suffer being incompetent by failing to do it. I am constantly humiliated by failing to do the things. *sighs*

I'm working on hand sewing some band patches on my leather coat today. Had to do some rearranging as some of them have red thread in them and needed to be moved to look better with other ones that are just black and white. I draw a lot of inspiration from music so they are like talismans to me.

COMMENTS

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Zarr
23:59 Mar 12 2026

Great post keep it up. Oh ... just take it one day at a time
Or how do you eat an elephant
Happy trails to you

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OccultRanger
05:39 Mar 13 2026

Thanks. Yeah I try to,

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POST COMMENT

-Todays word of the day is bias-prejudice in favor of or against one thing, person, or group compared with another, usually in a way considered to be unfair. Throughout my life I've had the...opportunity to see things from different vantages. I have lived in areas that had minorities as the majority. The corruption still plays out the same when the minority gains majority because it puts them in a position of strength. Which they will exploit simply because they can and little can be done about it. I favor individualism over group dynamics mainly because I'm an empath and need to keep separate to maintain my sanity and to perceive veracity. But mob mentality is one of the highest forms of a bias. The entire dynamic of a group of people changes it. As a vampire I just recognize different castes like Ramkht-Kitrah-Mradu that function together to manipulate subtle energy. I'm Ramkht to elemental nature.

I watched a video on YouTube today on Wikipedia being biased toward the left wing. I don't see it or enough that it is corrupt from being a viable source for knowledge and truth. The fact is it is a charity and has many academics authoring it so the mainstream media controlled by the wealthy elites aren't the controlling factor. I really don't think I'll be getting accurate accounts by Grokepedia controlled by AI. I support Wikipedia and you'll see many links in my writing referencing them as a source to define something.

Broke out my leather-crafting supplies today. The scent of it is just so intoxicating. I need to do some rearranging as my desk is cluttered with too many things making for little workspace. I recall This set-up I had in Fallout 4 house and my place is starting to resemble it. I favor convenience and functionality over aesthetics.

Tonight is a special moon phase. One of those paradoxical ones where the opposite polarities are present. The moon rises really close to the peak phase of the last quarter here where I live. That's like water and air combining to create a powerful new principle. There's something really vampyric about this one that I can already feel. Planning on going out tonight and try to get some pictures though it may be hard as it will only be 6 degrees above horizon which here in the bay area means you have to be pretty high up to view and all those places tend to be parks which are closed then. I think there's a place I can get a picture without breaking the law but it may have skyscrapers in it.

4:30 am - later... I didn't go out for this 3rd quarter moon. I stayed in and meditated before drifting off to sleep where I had some disturbing dreams. They probably would have been nightmares if I were a mundane human but as a human living vampire I'd just call them disturbing. They involved the suffering of children before they were killed. No doubt inspired by these unsettling news reports about the missile that wiped out the girl school in Iran. Do I believe the narrative we are being fed by those that control the mainstream media feed that it was an Iranian missile that did it? Nope that is highly unlikely. Its called collateral damage and is an ugly part of war. It really gets ugly when enemies use hospitals and schools as human shields. I don't really think that is the case here as Iran seems to hide and defend their military targets within mobile vehicles and deep beneath the ground. We can play wack a mole all we want but they are just going to keep digging themselves out with their underground munitions to shoot at neighbors that allow the Americans to host their military and that small choke-point called the strait of Hormuz that effects the world economy. I'm kind of rooting for the literal underdog here. Does that sound traitorous or unpatriotic to my country? No I believe in my country's constitution but there is too much corruption in high places now and until it is humiliated and put on its knees it will continue unchecked with its crimes. While its masses who have become comfortably numb like the Pink Floyd song redone by Ice-T do nothing. But we'll bounce back stronger in the end with wounded pride and some scars like just about every adult and warrior carries that gets into fights.

-Todays word of the day is Machismo (strong or aggressive masculine pride). Since I've leveled up Neowise2020 to where not posting in stream or society will drop it below sire I'm not going to spend as much time on it other than to post in society and earn favor points that I see as a duty. So have taken to putting more time on this one my main profile especially since I'm back in a society to earn favor though the blood price eats it everyday with so many dead profiles in it. Been posting in society and even pubic forum. This can actually be hard as an empath picking up all the shade members throw at me. Today I picked up on exactly that in public forum from a particular member. I summarize their attitude to machismo since they were obviously male. Then there have been others picking up on it trying to express the same. What's so fucking sad is though they may see themselves that way and some may actually feed their ego the reality is far from it. I am constantly humiliated by my own critical senses so when I'm presented with an ego that thinks they are the shit I simply laugh at their pathetic sense. They don't actually look at how much they lie to each other as well as themselves to maintain that ego. Still though I strive to keep myself centered and sanctified from returning such behavior back to them. I realize they aren't hypersensitive.

Well something has definitely shifted since that blood moon last week. I have been doing things I couldn't before. Not for lack of trying it just seemed anytime I started something I couldn't carry it out and suffered the humiliation of being incompetent. That has changed now and is great though I'm quite old now and limited. Got to make the best of it with what little life I have left.

Been working on the actual crafts for my graphics. The mark is the easiest and have started there so going to create a medicine bag out of leather-craft to hold my fangs in so I can just pop them in when the need arises. The image itself is one using sacred geometry that has great significance to me and will paint it on the bag as the medium. Going to use Musou black paint for the background which is the blackest paint on the market made in Japan. I got it to paint my drones and never got around to it so have plenty to use. I also have florescent color paints that glow well in black-light which is the lighting I'll use when digitizing it. Ill document different stages of this project then make a collage of it to share on my portfolio. Got lots of space on it to fill it out.

-This song plays in the anarch bar in the videogame. Kind of has this melancholy aspect to it that one has living as a vampire but even more so because I'm reminded of the first game that became a cult classic and how this game could have been so much more but turned out far below the bar after the management couldn't make things work. Same sadness of mood. Yeah its a vampire game and playable but I'm already bored with it where I can still play the first one and enjoy it even with the retro gameplay and graphics.

Well just rejoined this coven Wolves of Odin again. Last year I took a break from the site for a couple weeks and when I came back found the coven had joined the Adalwulf Alliance. I had once been in it but was kicked out. Prerogative of being a society master wrong or right you make decisions and are captain of your boat. To find my coven master had joined it I no longer felt obligated to stay connected. So left. She stayed in it awhile and I stayed to myself. Then she joined another alliance with another member I've had history with. I wasn't going to join that one either even though it was a great step up from the previous one because this one was ruled by kindred. This alliance fell apart recently so she went and joined another but this one was a fellow male ronin. Didn't really see myself serving well in that society but now she has left that one and am now back in not like Fynn though. I am working on creating my own coven but until then prefer earning favor points. Been keeping most of my activity to my other alternate profile Neowise2020 which only recently sired out of a prison coven. But after suffering some health issues and taking another break found it inducted again having sired it via the temporary Stream post bonus. That has been rectified. I suppose as long as I don't get too many blocks to take away from that profile's base score it will remain a sire. So now I'll be dividing my time in two coven's both ruled by women until I create my own...unless some other factor changes things-there's always exceptions.

I do have my own pet peeves because of abuse and or neglect that happened in my youth I can't stand being around individuals or institutions that need to "save face" because of their pride. Lived off the grid and as an outlaw for many years because of this. I made a compromise by coming out here in California to live. I believe in the constitution of the United States of America just think the latest amendments have allowed too much corruption in so makes it hard to tolerate. Once you take a post in the government you become a servant to the people. You have to cut ties with business as that's a conflict of interest otherwise you will take advantage of the system for self interests as we see playing out over and over again in such officials. The very reason communist government is wrong and subject to corruption is played out in our government by such officials. It's so disgraceful being a citizen here now seeing this shit play out but I'm too old now and can't do too much other than my vampire magick.