EstrangedOne's Journal


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12 entries this month

Hibbit-it-Bloody-Hoopla... ...

12:38 Dec 30 2023
Times Read: 134

Before anyone says "WTF", I couldn't really think of a "title", or even a "subtitle".

But anyhow, while somehow still being bloody fucking exhausted, of late, I somehow pulled a song of which, yet again, I am oddly satisfied with - in particular, called "Quid Est Vita". For those curious, of course, a little taste of it (though, naturally, since I can't trust distribution right now, it is only a quite low-quality sample version)...
Meanwhile, of course, my manager(s) is/are still trying to con me into attempting to be Arch Angel Superman, which... dip shit... I may be talented, but even I can't pull That off. Dumbass is about to really not like me, at all. Kind of has me tempted to pull an attempt at applying to scheduling manager, myself, but I already know that airplane wouldn't fly very well. For some stupid reason, things in my area are still, somehow, all kinds of funky, so I'm left to mentally feel like I'm waiting for the damn apocalypse to strike. Barely even doing part-time, still, and not even a single night shift. Yeah, not really liking that one. And the manager wonders why I "have such an attitude" (is it really any wonder, buddy?).

Once I can actually get things situated for my music again, I'll be sharing the platforms one here again, but I know that's going to be a little while, since... apparently, my last agency/company decided to try pulling a 'copyright infringement' with My work - which, mind you, is, by itself, not even legal to do. But as I've found out I'm not the only one they've pulled this stunt on, I've also discovered that it may well even be the reason they likely go belly-up (which, I actually kind of hope does happen).
Yeah, they didn't even try that with "ADDENDUM", let alone "TTMoL" (or so it seems, at least). Yet, they had the nerve to pull said stunt with the string of "singles" I put out. Kind of fishy, if you ask me. Can't exactly publicly share one's own work or design when you're being accused of copyright infringement with your own creation. These fuckers really are not going to like me, when it's all over.




Have A Good Holiday, People. . .

05:44 Dec 25 2023
Times Read: 153

Honestly, I've not really been much of one for the Christmas holiday, for some years, now. But for those who celebrate it and have your own festivities for the holiday - - Here is to an enjoyable holiday for you all.

Whether you celebrate it as Christmas, Yule/Yuletide, Hanukkah, simply the Solstice, or what have you. And hopefully, the coming year being ushered takes a better turn than the past few have been.




And To Keep The Mind Occupied...

07:23 Dec 24 2023
Times Read: 165

Since I can't seem to get my mind straight, lately (go figure), and work still seems to be quite... funky, to say the least... I find myself working on just a few of the songs that I've made over recent months, and fixing the parts that got messed up.
And trimming each one into samples for my channel, to share, on here, in the process, I might add.

So far, I've brought three of them to the Tube channel, and I'm in the process of working on the other 7 tracks. I've decided to compile "Anti-Religion" with some others I've already done, to create an album that (I hope, at least) should catch a little attention, which I am also debating on a name for, at the moment.

However, one or two of said songs I'm thinking of just holding off on, until next All Hallows Eve, since one of them, at least, is much more suitable to that time of year. Which, I will admit, does kind of leave the whole compilation of the album a little... "uneven", I suppose. But hey, I guess.

For any who haven't caught "Anti-Religion", since evidently, my distribution company decided to be screwy and fuck me over (thankfully, I found out I'm not the only one they did that to), I will be sharing the samplings of that to my channel, and thus, to my journal, on here, as well.
Suffice to say, since I found out what they've been pulling (among other things going on with life, itself), I haven't been bringing any of my music out, fully, so for those who do enjoy hearing it, that would be the reason behind that little "fiasco".

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Upon another note, entirely, however...

For those who celebrate Yuletide/Christmas, or whatever you may know it as... I do wish one and all a pleasant and grand holiday.
As for me, I only hope I'm working on said day/night, because I really don't know what else to do with myself, at this time of the year.




Gotta Love The Funky... But Just How ''Funky'' Can It Really Get...?

01:07 Dec 23 2023
Times Read: 175

I can understand that, with the advancements of technology and the like, systems often get an upgrade. But if you ask me, at times, that "upgrade" is more of a Downgrade. A big one.

Of course, I've mentioned, before, that the system I'm forced to use to check my schedule and such is a "bells & whistles" system. But this is a positively stupid situation, now...
Tried several times to clock out when my shift was done, this afternoon, and couldn't. The system just wouldn't let me. And I'm reasonably certain that, now, I'm going to be catching the short end of the stick for it, because these guys are just that damn dumb. Oh, well. I've basically only been holding this particular job for the sake of keeping some gas in my tank, since it's basically useless for anything else. I have to run all over Hell and high-waters too much for it to actually benefit my pockets, at all.

But anyway... over the past few days, I've had several more ideas entering my mind, and some of them seem to have an interesting "ring" to them, while others seem to be either absolutely wickedly beautiful, or just flat out terrible. Of course the recent entry of "Cannibal Delight" happens to be among them (but naturally, I'm still working on that a little), but I'm currently trying to figure out the right way to implement the only instrumentals I can for that one. And I've got to say... the intro is NOT being easy to figure out (especially with the particular guitar type I currently have). But I suppose, time will have to tell - here is just hoping that it doesn't take so long that it never happens or something similar. Then again, however, I still have a slew of works that are being fixed, since they, somehow, have gotten corrupted so many times I'm surprised there is anything left of the original files. And I still have more of them to fix.

In any case, for those who usually celebrate, then here's to a good holiday for all. For anyone under the weather, here's to recovering in time for the holiday you may be looking forward to, before the end of the year.
~ ~ Raise the glasses high and cheers. ~ ~




This One Should Be... Interesting...

23:34 Dec 17 2023
Times Read: 202

As I tried to sleep, this morning, instead, I found myself with the sensation akin to Alice in Wonderland (if one can really make such a comparison, that is).
Stuck partially awake, yet it seemed like having at least four dreams all wrapped into one - and in one fubar way, I might add.

But apparently, this positively absurd lunacy of a dream has managed to (with the aid of repeating only minor parts to someone else (since those parts are what little I can fully recollect of it)) inspire a rather interesting song idea that I now find myself jotting down as much of as I can.

All I can really say, (likely without making a lot of stomachs turn) is that this dream had me somehow waking up nearly vomiting, myself, so I'm certain I don't look my healthiest, at the moment.

What I find equally odd, however, is that apparently, my job managers decided to blow my damn phone up, today, yet my phone only went off once. Needless to say, I was in no state to even attempt to answer the phone, let alone speak to them, but I knew I heard it ringing, which only seemed to piss me off. If I only work with you, Blowing my phone up early in the morning, when you know I'm likely not exactly cognitive is not the best way to stay on my good side.
((I can certainly say that these assholes have until the time I have a Full-Time job before I report their brain-dead asses for their ineptitude.))

But in any case, I now find myself wracking my brain, sifting and shuffling through my old mental dictionary, to think of a way to adequately write a song based from this positively warped dream that somehow happened while I was still more or less fully conscious, but clearly not cognitive...

I guess we shall see where this goes, since I apparently also have to fix a track file which now has me absolutely pissed, because I made said song specifically for someone close to me. I just hope I can fix said file without having to completely redo the whole thing.
And at this point, I don't know if it's simply because electronics/electrical and I don't get along, the solar blasts/storms over the past several months, a possibly shoddy system, or a combination of any of those elements. But I know that once I can manage it, I am definitely getting a much better system - or at least, a more efficient system of my own specifications.

As I so often say...
Oy... Bloody... Vey...



13:13 Dec 18 2023

There must be something going around because the lunacy within the lucid dreams has been off the charts.

I'm thinking someone is jacking synapses while attempting to influence reality.


Bloody... Fucking... DUMBASS ''Manager(s)''...

00:36 Dec 13 2023
Times Read: 227

I certainly do not see this job lasting very long. The number of times I have told these idiots that I Do Not Do Day Shift, LET ALONE MORNINGS... is already ridiculous... and that is only scratching the surface.

One of the scheduling managers called me, this afternoon, asking me to take on a case, yet again, almost an hour away... and of course, it happens to be an early morning shift.
"Ummm.... DUMBASS... How Many Times Have I Told You I Do Not Do MORNINGS, For Starters?... and beyond that... if I have already said 'Fuck You' when you asked me to drive Nearly An Hour, In ONE Direction... What In The Bowels of HELL makes you think I will drive that distance, in the OTHER Direction, early in the morning?"

I swear, with the number of times I have already had to give them the very rude wake-up call that they seem to enjoy physically giving Me (granted, 90% of the time, I'm not even sleeping, but I am still not exactly awake), I do not see this job lasting very long, at all.
I have already lost count of how many times I have had to tell these jokers very specifically detailed facts, and they act, each time, like I never said a damn thing. That shit already got old, a week ago, when they decided to swap-up on me and take a case off my hands (with a client and his family with whom I can actually get along, at that), which, The CLIENT(S) had already told them that they already preferred ME above Anyone...

I swear, I must be missing something, here, because I know, damn well, that I told these halfwits everything, the day I was hired, yet they insist upon asking me to do the very shit that I have already said "No, Fuck That" to. I'm no fucking idiot, buddy. I may not have twenty-plus years of this under my belt, but in the TEN-ish years experience that I DO have, I do know what will and will not work, not only for myself, but those I end up working with - which, I might add, is the straw that I think is about to break that camel's back...
You don't conceal necessary details about something from someone you expect to take the matter in-hand. That is something you make known, PRONTO.

And people ask me, all the time, why I so often look down on the human race (and especially those I end up either working with, or have to deal with, in the medical/healthcare field(s)...)........................
I have a really funky feeling I'm about to be dropping this job, already.

Can anyone guess what specific expression is on the tip of my tongue, here?



11:10 Dec 13 2023

Hmmmm... I am guessing "fuck" something... lol.


One More Just About Done... The Refresher of Echo of Memories

01:13 Dec 12 2023
Times Read: 241

Since "Echo of Memories" happened to be yet another song that got screwed up, recently, I decided to redo said song, after giving myself a bit of a break to let my voice recoup from the damage of having to constantly shout like a damn drill sergeant (don't even ask).

In most of my loose time, lately, I have simply been working, little by little, on each song that has been getting corrupted (and believe me, the number is already getting stupid). Even while I have them backed up to an external drive, they still, somehow, seem to be getting mucked up, which doesn't really make much sense. But here is a little taste, as it is, of the Echo of Memories.




Still Having An Interesting Time...

00:39 Dec 07 2023
Times Read: 270

Boy, I really hate working during daylight hours. Being awake during the daylight is already exhausting, but working during said time... apart from sheer will, I still don't know how I manage to stay awake for a daylight shift. I'm just glad that those I most often work with are the easygoing type. Or at least, they often seem to be, with me. But then again, I'm also still the only one known who "never gets sick", and thus the only one really physically capable of pushing past certain barriers.

Apparently, only since I started with this latest job (as of last month), at least six people have gotten sick with something, and so management has been Blowing Me Up with cover-shift requests, even after I've told them that my current car can't be trusted to do the same shit that about 90% of everyone else I work with can trust their vehicles to do.
I seem to be the only one who not only (currently) has a very questionable Make, but an even more questionable Year of that Make. Think anyone, other than Primary Office Management listens? Of course not.
Mind you, if I had something that could be run on electricity or hydrogen, or perhaps was of a more trusted Year, it might be a slightly different story. But anyway...

Granted, I may be back to working again, finally. But I'm still pushing with the job hunt, because I will not be satisfied with it until I'm back to working nights again. I absolutely fucking HATE working daylight shift.
Honestly, I don't know how my fellow "freaks of nature" are even able to do daylight shift, because that crap is just taxing to boot, just on the body - forget about the mind, for a split second. LoL

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Of course, just my luck, as well... the interview that I was supposed to have today had to be cancelled for I don't know what reason. But even on top of that... right at the halfway point between where I live and where said interview was going to be, there was apparently a massive (close to a three-mile stretch) crash, leading that entire stretch of the Interstate to be almost closed down. Luckily, I found out about all this early, this morning, so I didn't have to get caught in all that. Still doesn't help, though. The only reason I would've been willing to go with said job would be if I could do full-time and/or double-shifting throughout most of the week.
And yes, I know, I may well be "out of my mind" for that - taking on an extra full-time-plus, on top of what I already do, anyway. But hey... I have to give my efforts a bit of a ramping somehow. But then again, if I end up back on a double-time shift and then some, I wouldn't likely need to maintain the current job I'm working with (which, in my mind, would actually be one Hell of a blessing, on that level).



01:25 Dec 08 2023

Ahhh I hate day shifts too. No matter what I'm always sleepy until around 3pm and after. My overnight job was my favorite

06:41 Dec 08 2023

Hate day shift. Been working night shift for 13 years. I don’t know if I could do day time shifts now.


Finally Making Some Further Progress On This One. Still, Not Quite Done, Yet, Though...

04:08 Dec 06 2023
Times Read: 283

Finally making further progress with the song "Even In Death", once again. The most recent solar storms messed up a few of my files on a Big level ("Jesus H Christ" is about all I can say...) - badly enough that I've had to go through, yet again, and find what songs/files got corrupted, yet again. The sad part is that I even have everything backed up to an external drive, and it STILL got corrupted. How, I have NO idea.

But anyway... I am glad to say that I'm making progress in fixing everything (though, I do think that I need to 'upgrade' my system, at some point, once I have the chance, to something plated in anti-magnetic metal (or just say "screw it", and build it myself, when I can). I'm getting really tired of having to fix the damage caused by these damn solar storms that keep amplifying my already lethal effect with anything electrical.

Beyond that... As I had been wanting to remake at least one of my previous songs, and I asked someone special for their input, Here It Is, for you; Not quite finished, of course. But getting very close.
As for anyone else this may hopefully resonate with (and I really do hope it does resonate with people)... I do hope you let me know, either in the comments of my channel, or here, in the comments of the Journal.

Until next time...




''OUCH''... The First Word I'm Thinking of, Right Now--

21:36 Dec 04 2023
Times Read: 293

We had to send my buddy's brother off to the hospital, a few hours ago, as his hip came completely out of the socket (mind you, the guy has already had surgery, to fix said hip, beforehand).
Luckily, all they had to do was knock him out, to put his hip back in place, but when the guy's wife sent me the photos, the first word out of my mouth was "OUCH". Of course, I showed his brother the before and after photos, and I swear the guy almost winced in pain, himself.

I think on this one, my buddy is kind of lucky to be wheelchair-bound, since, while he also has gained a lot of redundant weight (from the dumbest stunt I can think of, honestly), he is also mostly unable to even stand from said wheelchair, as it is, due to one leg being useless. But I also know that if he did have the use of both legs, with what he likes to literally eat like a bag of peanuts (and sadly, I am not joking)... I'm pretty sure that he has, by now, robbed his own body of any ability to heal, and thus he would likely throw one of his own hips out, if not both of his legs as a whole.

But anyway...
Boy, I'm beginning to wonder if I won't end up being the entire family's not-so-glorified Butler/caretaker, for awhile. Don't get me wrong; I wouldn't mind too terribly much. But at the same time, I find myself thinking "What The Shit", here.




Chalk Up Another Redo...

04:49 Dec 04 2023
Times Read: 305

Yep, chalk up one more song that I have to completely redo, most likely due to the most recent solar blast(s). This time, it's the song "Even In Death" that seems to have somehow been corrupted. Even the BACKUP file for that one got screwed up (and considering I've finally started backing everything up to an external drive, I'm trying to figure out how this happened, unless it happened prior to said backup), along with the finished song.

So, now, I get to completely redo that one, which means possibly just saying "fuck it" and doing the song in a completely different way from what I had last recorded, as well. Admittedly, the last time I redid it, something did feel a little bit "off" about how I was doing it - looking back on it, anyway. So, now, I get to think of a new tune, altogether, for it.

I seem to really have a knack for having shit get corrupted on a big level, because out of all of my work, over the past six months, I have had roughly the equivalent of an entire album's worth get messed up, either because I've gotten miffed off, or the damn solar storms that seem to be picking up almost at random. I swear, if I actually took part in any of the music industry or any communities, I would be asking other musicians how frequently THEY have this kind of trouble, because some part of me highly doubts any of them do.
Sadly, it's not as simple to repair an audio or video file as it is to repair the hardware or software one uses to create said files. And that is actually just me being blunt and honest about it.

For system repair, it's either coding or technical/mechanical knowledge that tends to be needed. For fixing files corrupted beyond fathoming, that's another concept entirely. And apparently, with the level of energy I put into a lot of things, that is apparently amplified even more, when things go either right or wrong.

As I so often say... Oy Vey... @_@
Time to start letting the gears turn, I suppose.




Part of What I've Been Working on::

08:22 Dec 01 2023
Times Read: 320

Since having done "The Tragic Myth of Love", I began working on a bit of a "compilation" album to release piece by piece - in the midst of which, I was hit with a bit of a screwy realization, and haven't really been able to bring myself to do a whole lot, since that realization hit me. Primarily due to a lot of heavy pondering, and getting hit by an episode of sorrow (some might call it depression), by which I have barely been able to get myself to do anything but read (hence, having gone through a few books in the span of a few days).
Basically, my "diet", especially since Turkey Day, has been books and wine, and not much else, apart from coffee. But I finally manage to pull the proverbial thumb out of my ass and do a tiny bit of literal trimming work on at least one song of the album I've been working on.
Speaking of which, this is just a taste/sample of it. It's also the song sample I'm considering using for my profile, for awhile.



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