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Fizbop's Journal


Fizbop's Journal

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PROFILE




14 entries this month
 

One step closer to finally being me.

16:51 Jan 30 2024
Times Read: 99


woooo one step closer y'all I have my card I need to be able to do my name change on my ID. Keep rootin for your girl here . Finally some good things happening.

Trying to still figure out my living situation, but had to put some good stuff up

This is so good for me finally will be able to say I'm me without issues just need to hop over to the dmv to get that done and maybe actually get my license


COMMENTS

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But wait there's more

04:01 Jan 25 2024
Times Read: 162


Not sure but may have a solution to my rent problem.

wish me luck.

I'm letting myself go where I never have before.

This is in terms of a relationship. I'm finally exploring the things that make my heart move.

It's been amazing to not have to hold myself back in terms of sexual encounters.

I'm a slut plain and simple.


COMMENTS

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1/22/2024

05:15 Jan 23 2024
Times Read: 206


Still no update on being able to raise the money I need to pay my rent.

I'm disabled and now it looks like I'll be homeless.

I hate this.


COMMENTS

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I hate my situation

15:07 Jan 21 2024
Times Read: 232


My rent is due at the end of the week I won't get my ssi til the following. I think I'm screwed.


COMMENTS

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Dating

23:37 Jan 20 2024
Times Read: 264


Dating is hard for me
Dating is hard for me in general. I never know what to say what to ask. I'm like a deer in headlights. Like oh someone wants to talk to me PANIC. Then it's a search of trying to find the right person for me. I'm just starting to explore my own sexual desires cuz frankly I've been afraid to. Also not 100% sure if I like certain kinks til I actually do them. So finding someone I can trust to not only help guide me, but trust to keep me feeling safe. Though I spend some time trying to get to know someone, I just end up ghosted. Maybe they are impatient with me idk.

Why does it have to be this hard?


COMMENTS

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NikkiAidyn
NikkiAidyn
04:38 Jan 21 2024

Ahhh I've always felt like this. I found it easier to go on dates to places where just talking isn't the main focus





 

dating sites suck

15:46 Jan 16 2024
Times Read: 291


Dating sites suck.

Where it's mostly bots and scammers and the rest just trying to get a quick fix


COMMENTS

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Enso
Enso
02:31 Jan 21 2024

Agreed!





 

1/14/2024

05:09 Jan 15 2024
Times Read: 320


The reality of me having to move to a smaller room and know that my ex will never walk in the door has kicked in.
My biggest fear is me being alone.
I was kidnapped and human trafficked when I was alone.

Stuff I don't even talk about what happened to me and why I'm so messed up and damaged goods.

Nothing ever goes right either i screw up or it's a toxic relationship.

I just can't win.


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1/12/24

03:17 Jan 13 2024
Times Read: 354


The move is on. I guess I have the weekend to move according to management.
It's going to be very exhausting.
I'm in polyam relationships but none of them live even close to me.
Being by yourself hurts though.

Just no one to really talk to and vent to
No one to help with the move.
I'm mentally drained.
I just want love


COMMENTS

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Cadrewolf2
Cadrewolf2
03:38 Jan 13 2024

My door is always open to vent fizbop. Just to listen if hats all you want





 

1/10/2024

15:31 Jan 10 2024
Times Read: 395


Packing is hard to do when you are packing by yourself.
Lifting things I shouldn't be my shoulder is begging for mercy.
I need more boxes don't have them but need them. Lots more to pack away. beds kitchen and finally desk
I wish I had some help.
I wish I could stop crying.

All I do is screw up


COMMENTS

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Lamadia79
Lamadia79
17:06 Jan 10 2024

Don't be so hard on yourself . Im sure with time you will heal your pain. I know how sad moving on is but things will get better just give yourself time





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
22:38 Jan 10 2024

Moving is a new beginning....wishing the best





Fallenangel123
Fallenangel123
11:31 Jan 12 2024

Things will eventually get better, change can be good, you just have to find the good :)





 

1/8/2024

02:11 Jan 09 2024
Times Read: 447


I'm just scared.
I feel like a fuckup.
A screw up.
worthless
pointless.
unattractive.

It's hard to get reassurance
I don't know what the future holds.
I'm scared that I won't make it.


COMMENTS

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Cadrewolf2
Cadrewolf2
02:15 Jan 09 2024

we all are that way hang in there, you'll do great





Ravefox
Ravefox
02:54 Jan 09 2024

-big hugs-





Fallenangel123
Fallenangel123
09:37 Jan 09 2024

Everything will be ok, you will make it, we all have your back on here





Enso
Enso
01:27 Jan 10 2024

you are not any of those never give up hugs your loved





 

1/6/2024

16:08 Jan 06 2024
Times Read: 490


So my former partner just turned in her key to the room.
Now they will be moving me out of this room into a smaller room
Not what I was planing not sure what will happen as of right now..


COMMENTS

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Fallenangel123
Fallenangel123
17:28 Jan 07 2024

Everything will be ok, just keep staying strong :)





 

1/5/2024

21:46 Jan 05 2024
Times Read: 517


Just had my ultrasound will know in about 3 business days the results.
maybe longer cuz still trying to get an appointment w/my primary doc so they can discuss the results.


COMMENTS

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Cadrewolf2
Cadrewolf2
22:28 Jan 05 2024

Good luck hate the wait is more stressful than anything hang in there





Hope23
Hope23
10:35 Jan 06 2024

Praying all is well. Good luck.





Fallenangel123
Fallenangel123
12:28 Jan 06 2024

The wait is always the worst, stay strong, we are all here for you :)





 

Possible Cancer

18:53 Jan 02 2024
Times Read: 575


Upcoming Appointment
I'm getting an ultrasound done for a possible cancer on friday.
I haven't said anything about this because I also have a colonoscopy at the end of the month. 01/31/2024
I'll keep you updated on my cancer status.


COMMENTS

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Cadrewolf2
Cadrewolf2
19:05 Jan 02 2024

Blessings to you





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
20:43 Jan 02 2024

Positive energy.





CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
04:36 Jan 03 2024

All the positive vibes coming your way Fiz.





Fallenangel123
Fallenangel123
13:17 Jan 03 2024

I hope everything comes back ok, i really do! Positive energy





 

2024

03:24 Jan 02 2024
Times Read: 599


here's hopeing i find love that will last.
i thought i had it but it wasn't what I had thought.
In the end it's time for me to move on
last years things now move apart.


COMMENTS

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Cadrewolf2
Cadrewolf2
03:30 Jan 02 2024

Wish you the best








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