You've captured a delight.
Very nice, I can see her in my mind. :)
This is lovely.
If Peter Lik wrote the poem though, it would have ended with, "And the Sun is going to set soon, so she has to get her picture.... FAST!"
A fella on VR asked me if I would mark him as a friend. We all get those requests, but this one was different and touched me because it was so humble and sweet. He reads my journal and wanted to be able to see the private poetry that I posted just for friends.
Of course I explained that the journal is the same for everyone. Private entries aren't seen even by friends. He thanked me, didn't press the point, and I haven't heard from him again, except to see that he visited the journal.
I thought it might be fun to show you what a private entry looks like in the Exhalations section. They're just prompts for me...ideas, words, thoughts, sounds...that I might like to use in a poem. Many never become anything. But they are a part of the writing process. Well, my writing process. Remember, the prompts are raw and unrefined, straight out of the brainpan.
So, here's one entry about a girl I never ended up writing about:
Awanata = turtle
Awanata runs her fingers across the fabric of all that is. They are long fingers, well-shaped and strong from many hours of close coil stitches that mark the handsome baskets of her people. Her fingers tingle as she feels for the right strands, plucking at the air with all the concentration of a weaver woman busy at looms that she has never seen in her fourteen years
Her name means Turtle and it suits her. She is an unhurried girl and though she could not so much be called sullen, she holds herself in a serious manner that feels much older than her years.
She does not like all quiets...those still and dead like Cathedral on Monday evening.
Fire alive...wraps around like a cloak
Quiet sound that fire makes
Your prompts, ideas that you call them are what some of us (well me) would aspire to write after much thought.
Just look at what you have just posted. Even the damn name sounds like a song.
How do you weave such elaboration, with delicacy and perfection .. and get this, you obviously improve on that?!
Miss out the middle-man and don't go private.
You really have a way with words Joli.It is no wonder everyone loves to read your journal.Myself included.
Bloodlife said it all. What you call prompts are what we call great writing.
Thanks for sharing this :)
Your way with words is what pulls me to your journal every time I see a new entry. No matter what you write about, you always have such beautiful words and they are both uplifting and encouraging. There are times when you write something, I can fully picture it or even smell, see, or hear what you are writing. Only a few people on VR can do that, with such ease, and that makes me enjoy reading your journal all the more.
I favorited your journal the first time I read it. I remember the first entry I came across in your journal, the words caught me the were:
"My speckled love
Wears her gypsy jupe
In a shade of irony...
And it has had me hooked to your journal ever since. I often come back to your journal (and a few others) when I need some kind of comfort or uplifting. :)
Wow...thank you all. I'm surprised that you liked seeing the prompt. I used to worry about showing the ugly, early stages of writing, but now I kind of like seeing the pure thoughts as they hit my head and I worry less about letting others see that I haven't swept up yet. :)
I'll post more...maybe even show the prompt and then the finished piece.
Your words lift me up and make me want to write. Thank you so much.
A delayed reply, I admit; your poems both new and old continue to bring me back. Not so much new as there is old, sadly, but they're just as great a read as ever and yet I still remain amazed no matter how many times they are read.
I still curse those private entries though ;~;