I sleep like shit when I sleep alone. When I'm next to Logan, it's like peace just washes over me and I can get to sleep, and stay asleep with no issue. But when I'm on my own, it's a battle to get to sleep. And then I have a horrible habit of waking up nearly every hour or so. Even ASMR doesn't work all that well on my when I'm alone.
I may go invest in some melatonin or something again. Despite the amped up bad dreams I tend to get when I take sleep aids, it may be the only real solution I can find at the moment, since I can't spend every night next to him in bed.
Oppenheimer was just as good the second time around.
I've finished the new season of Good Omens. I love the novel, written by Gaiman and Sir Terry Pratchett, it's a fun little book and the first season of the show follows the book extremely faithfully. But, given that Neil Gaiman was so heavily involved with it, that's not surprising. This new season isn't a book adaptation like the first season was. It is, however, adapted from notes from both Gaiman and Pratchett, and the show was written by Gaiman. So, it had all the heart and humor that you would expect from Good Omens. But, the way they ended this new season, I'm angry. I want those two to be together and happy, and it makes me sad that they have seemed to go their separate ways. There needs to be a third, and final, season so that they can wrap up the story and give Crowley and Aziraphael their happily ever after.
I treating my mom to the movies tomorrow, we're going to see Oppenheimer. I really wanted to go see Haunted Mansion, but I'm seeing that next weekend with Logan, so I need to be good and wait. Though, I'm not disappointed to be seeing Oppenheimer again. It's such a great film. And this time we're going to see it in IMAX, which should be fun.
It always strikes me as weird that around Logan, there's like one theater that has Imax, and it isn't exactly close to him, so we don't go there. But out here where I live, there are at least three theatres within a five mile radius that have it. And it's not like any of these theaters are new or anything. All of them are at least 20 years old at this point, so Imax was added after the fact. You think they would do that for the ones out where Logan lives. But nope. I don't know why that bugs me, but it does.
The last three episodes of The Witcher were garbage and I am angry. It was a really shitty way to say goodbye to Henry Cavill as Geralt. And, honestly, it was all just wasted potential. I didn't have high expectations after the first half, but man, when those last three episodes couldn't even clear that extremely low bar, that's bad. That's very, very bad.
Little conversations with Logan. Do kids really think we, as 30-somethings, are that far out of touch with terms like NPC? Because, fuck, I've never felt so old if that's the case.
The search continues for the perfect song to walk down the aisle to. I just know I don't want to be the "traditional" bride. I'm not sure what our wedding will look like, but considering both of us are little goth kids at heart, I'm sure it'll be more...unconventional. I know, it's stupid to focus on that when he hasn't even proposed yet, but, I mean, it's pretty set in stone. We are going to get married. I couldn't see my myself building a life with anyone else, and I wouldn't want to build my life with anyone else. He may not be perfect, but he's perfect for me. There's got to be a song out there that fits and that isn't you know, cliche like Lovesong. I may love The Cure and I may love that song, but it is so overused.
What about an orchestra version of a song you both really like.... Message me with a song and I will see what I can find for you if you'd like to listen to what it would sound like... or just message me period and I can help you with the ones I know exist just for the fun of it. lol. Just a thought of course. :)
I walked down the aisle to a Loreena McKennitt song. :)
It's been such a wonderful weekend, as they always are when I get to see Logan. I didn't do any VR related things outside of checking messages a few times over the weekend, as I needed a bit of a break from everything. So, nothing got done with Nocturnal this weekend, and I'm okay with that.
We went as saw both Oppenheimer and Barbie. Oppenheimer was amazing, simple as that. You expect a lot from a Christopher Nolan film, and man, it does not fail to deliver. And, while it is a three hour movie, it didn't feel it's runtime at all, I was so engrossed from beginning to end. Cillian Murphy did such an amazing job as J. Robert Oppenheimer. And the ensemble cast was so star filled, but it didn't once take away from the film itself. Barbie was, well, I think what you would expect. It was funny, heartwarming, serious when it needed to be, and emotional. Overall, lots of fun. I got teary eyed a few times. I wouldn't say it's hyper feminist, but it definitely preaches that woman can be anything, we don't have to fit into these societal molds simple because we're female. And, the music! The music was so good! So yeah, I highly recommend both films if you can see them.
Logan bought me two long-stemmed red roses last night, just because he could. I trimmed them down, as the were nearly half my height, and put them in water. They started opening up really well and they look beautiful. And, we spent around two hours looking for wedding music. I had mentioned that we didn't have a song, and then how I didn't want to walk down the aisle to Canon in D, so we started looking for alternatives. We found a few possibilities, but I think we'll have to keep looking. It's okay though, we'll likely not get married until we move to Texas, so we've got a year and a half to two years yet. It's just so crazy how he and I are so similar. He'd bring up a song, and I'd literally be right about to mention it, or vice versa. It's honestly a little scary how he and I have so much in common. But yeah, it's been a great weekend. Not long enough, though. The time we get is never enough.
I need Friday to get here already. I've got things to look forward to with Logan. Oppenheimer on Saturday, Barbie on Sunday, time with my partner all weekend. I just need a little break from everything.
I may be intelligent, but man, can I fuck up royaly sometimes. Today seemed to just be a day full of me messing up. Thankfully, I have people I can turn to for advice, people who will correct me when I'm wrong, people who will talk things through with me so that I do not make those mistakes again. So, thank you for the messages, the phone calls, talking things out with me. No one is ever too old to learn from their mistakes, and learn I most definitely did.
That did not just happen. This game did not just make me cry.
You had to go punch me right in the feels didn't ya, Dreamlight Valley? Jesus.
I hate when video games do that,
It gets either all dramatic and stuff through scenes in games too,
I could play video games all day even Diablo,
I'm at a pretty high level on there
I was not expecting it to go where it went. It's a cozy game, it's supposed to be easy and fun. And then the storyline just gut punches you at the end.
Oh no... I am sure I have a ways to get there, but I have a feeling I will know when I do!
Yeah, stories can do that sometimes maybe if they make another game of it that ending will be better!,
It's wasn't bad, quite the opposite really. It's just... For me, someone with trauma from childhood, it was hard to play through. But, for the first chapter, it was a great story ending. I'm looking forward to more updates.
I've gotten back into playing Disney Dreamlight Valley. I stopped playing for a bit because it really wasn't holding my interest, no game was, but it's fun to get back into it. The nice thing about coming back after taking a break is that there is a lot of content for me to catch up on. It's just something nice and cozy to play when I need a break from reality.
Tickets for Oppenheimer and Barbie purchased for Saturday and Sunday. It does mean getting up earlier than usual, I could only get seats for the morning showings, but it's okay. And then in two weeks it's the new Haunted Mansion movie.
If you're in support of SAG-AFTRA and WGA, go and see the movies. Watch the shows. Talk about them. Show the big Hollywood companies that they can't replace the human element in these productions. Show them that AI isn't what is wanted. I know people are unsure because they don't want to cross the picket lines, but seeing the movies is showing your support.
I couldn't be happier with how things are progressing with Nocturnal. The people I've placed in staff positions are the absolute best. It makes it so much easier to work on the House when I have such amazing members. If it was just me, yeah, I don't think I'd do very well. But, I'm thankful I have the members I have. They make it a home.
I other news, I'm pretty stoked for this coming weekend. I'm gonna try to get tickets to go see Barbie and Oppenheimer with Logan. Though, considering that they both come out this week, it may be difficult. But I'm gonna try. Even if it means going to the theater in the shopping center where two shootings have now taken place...
Logan lives in a very good area, when you stay in the confines of the gates of Hidden Hills, but everything outside of it... He lives in an affluent area, but he's totally the boy on the wrong side of the tracks. You don't hear about daily shootings out here where I live in the IE, but out there? Encino, Northridge, West Hills, Calabasas... Those be some shady areas. It's why we want to get out of California. Once upon a time, those were great places to live, it's where people with money lived, and they were nice areas. But that was 20+ years ago. Now there's shootings in shopping center parking lots, hit and runs, all the crime. Southern California has been where we were both born and raised, but it doesn't feel like home to us anymore. People get a certain idea about LA, about Hollywood, about California. But, its come out that over 50% of the homes in the market here are going to be over 1 million dollars to buy, the crime, the homelessness, the fact that we don't prosecute our criminals, the politics, they all contribute to making this place the utter sithole it is. You can't afford rent in any city close to LA unless you want to pay at least $2,500 for a one bedroom. It's only slightly cheaper if you come out towards where I live, but even then, it's still going to cost you around $1,900 starting. You can't afford to live a decent life unless you make at the bare minimum, $100k a year, though depending on where you live, that easily can jump to 2 or 300k. I love California with all that I am, we have the beaches and the mountains and the deserts all in one place, but I no longer want to live here. I don't exactly want to live in Texas either, but I'm willing to give it a shot. With all the land, we wouldn't be bothered, which is definitely a plus in my book. I'm just tired of this place.
Haha, the entry started out so positively. Anyway, enough rambling about how much California sucks. I'm gonna go get something to drink and watch some What We Do in the Shadows with my love.
I think my profile's due for a bit of a make over. I've had the same look and information for... Seven? Eight? A lot of years now, and I feel it's time for a change. Maybe I'll ask for Logan's help. I just don't know what I want. I love the color scheme and I love my background, as it's my own art, but I feel I need to do something new. I may play around in Photoshop and see what kinds of things I can create. If I get a good background done, I can build it up from there. Maybe something in muted blues, greens, and grays.
We're in for 99/100+ days all weekend and through next weekend. I am thankful that, for the most part, the heat out here is relatively dry. If we add humidity into the mix, it would be so much worse. The coolest it's going to get at night is the low 70s. I think this weekend, since I'm not with Logan, will be spent at my brother's in the pool with the kids. I'd go to the pool here, because we do have one in the complex, but I don't trust these people. You couldn't pay me to get into that water. So, I'll text Liz later and see if I can come over tomorrow and/or Sunday.
Logan took an edible tonight after work to unwind. And man, talking to him while he's high and I'm sober is funny. We're watching Supernatural and it's an episode about planes and shit and he's all "Do you think the Kool-Aid Man ever burst through a plane while it was mid flight, going 'oh yeah!' while everyone is screaming?" And I'm just sitting here like, no. And then he tried to look up memes of that and got sad when there weren't any. It's funny.
I applied for Disneyland again, well, for one of the hotels anyway, at the suggestion of Trevor. Let's see if I hear back from them as quickly as I did the last time I applied.
I am a bit sad that they don't have anything inside the park available that I would be qualified for. But, working at their resort wouldn't be so bad as you still get all the awesome perks, and at least I'd be inside an air conditioned building.
Good luck getting a job there I bet it would be fun. My family loves to go to Disneyworld are saving for one in Feb next year right now. We stay onsite and the hotels are always great and the employees awesome!
Ohhh! Good luck! I hope you get it!
Well, things out here in Los Angeles are going to shut down quite a bit more. In case you haven't been paying attention to Hollywood, the writer's guild (WGA) has been on strike since May 2nd, and now SAG-AFTRA, the screen actor's guild has approved a strike as well, which goes into effect at midnight. So, while a lot has been shut down due to the WGA strike, now all productions are going to be shut down with SAG taking to the picket lines. This move goes beyond just Hollywood. My actor friend, who was scheduled to go to Comic-Con, like he always does, has now pulled out. And I'm pretty sure he's not going to be the only one to do so. It also means that studios can't really promote any of their upcoming movies, as the actors are not allowed to talk on panels or promote upcoming films and shows. So yeah... It'll be interesting to see how this plays out.
I've got to go watch the kids in about an hour. I may complain about how I get next to no notice on babysitting, but I don't say no. I want to get in all the time I can with them before Logan and I move to Texas. Yeah, it's still likely a year or two away, but man, time flies right past you as you get older. And a year, two years, it seems like nothing. So, best to get in as much time with them now as I can. I can't imagine I'll see them much outside of holidays when we leave California.
It's pretty much plastered all over my profile and journal, but here, for those of you who cannot comprehend what you may read, or you just choose to ignore it:
We got an extra day and a half together, and it wasn't enough. Not even close.
We did get some work done in the House. Not much, but we fixed the main page layout and the Alliance layout. I'll be going in and fixing the images now that I'm home. We're still working on the text for the main page, but it's getting there. Hopefully in two weeks, when I go over there again, we can get things done once and for all.
I popped my head in to the journals for just a moment to check on things and I regret all of it. I'm gonna go back to my weekend with Logan, as soon as he gets out of the shower.
I get an extra day with mi amor! I'm pretty happy about that.
I might get an extra day with Logan this weekend, which would be amazing. I already get an entire six hours more than I normally would with him tomorrow. I can head over there after he finishes his sessions for the day, since Mina's camping until next week so he doesn't have to drive out to the Hollywood Hills to see her. I'm happy. I latch onto any extra time we can get together, as we don't get that much. Despite us only living 76 miles away from each other, it really feels like a long distance relationship right now. Between work and his daughter, it's hard to carve out more time for us outside our every other weekend thing we've got going. I really can't wait for the day that can all change... But for now, some extra hours tomorrow and the possibility of an extra full day is enough. I'm looking forward to it.
And now you've taken my stamp?
Damn lady, I know I'm awesome and you're obsessed with me, but you're never going to be me, you should stop trying. It's pathetic.
Just because you can't see through your own delusions doesn't mean we can't see you for what and who you are. But no, go on about how you're so original and aren't trying to copy anyone else while using my kismet as your own, while using someone else's avatar as your own. So original.
I know you want to be me, but that job is already taken. Sorry. 🖤
You mean this one message thread? Don't act like you and I talk on a regular basis, we don't. I want nothing to do with you. But, meh, enjoy or whatever.
"No one has ever figured you that you use to be depressed I'm actually really smart," LMFAO LMFAO LMFAO LMFAO.
Right? Because, I've obviously never posted about it or anything. She's super intelligent to have figured that secret out.
Right? First of all, what's wrong with being depressed? It's not a mental impairment...so....? Gurl, bye. lmao.
Lol, tell me you're joking. This can't just be because I said you don't exist to me off this website. Holy fuck, I'm dying. Sorry to break it to you, but unless I have you on other platforms, you mean nothing to me outside the confines of this one website. It's a hard truth, I know, you're so goddamn enamored with me that you wish you consumed my every thought, but alas, you do not.
Dude, when the fuck have I ever gone after your mom or attacked your personal life? Unlike you lot, I don't sink to those levels. You however, you've bashed my personal life on more than one occasion and I've never said anything about it except to tell you you're wrong, which you were.
I mean, the bit where you said you had jokes, should my mother no longer be living, is so fucking telling of the type of person you are.
Also, you're accusing people for a profile that they didn't create.
But, no, do go on with your false information. You're not a victim. End of story.
Would you look at that, more false accusations thrown at members who aren't involved.
I'm off to spend the day at Kevin and Liz's. We're going to do some swimming, have a little barbecue, and then light some sparklers and stuff later in the evening. It should be a fun day.
When the fireworks keep going off so it's hard to sleep, what do you do? Listen to hurdy gurdy music, of course. I love her.
You don't get to play the victim when you're the one constantly starting nonsense.
Constantly. I tell you what, this bridge has been burned. Previously, I felt bad...but not any more. Now I see who the problem is.
But no, she can't possibly be the problem! It's totally every one else.
Right? The cry for attention is unreal.
I can’t even watch a movie on my bed without her causing shit Jesus
Hahaha Catelyn, You texted my mom to kick me from her coven that is why I rated you a 1, Something that you need to deal with,
Maybe you need to stop texting and harassing my family members about me and I wont be causing you problems not to mention you all think my friend tylorbrooks is Tabby which I can confirm he isn't,
But I do hope you enjoy you're ones I don't feel bad for any of you at all either :)
The feeling is mutual I always knew you all hated me from the start soon as I came back you complained now you know how it feels when someone complains about you,
I really hate all of you, Not to mention every admin on this site, And the site it self,
You think I'm always the problem when it's really you being the problematic, Catelyn spreading rumors to me, Drayton, Momo ect having them make team viewer profiles and god says fuck profile you really don't think I notice, do you?
The why are you here? If you hate everyone and the site itself, why waste your time and energy and money on it? If I hated a site and the people who were members of that site, I sure wouldn't spend my time on it.
Here we go always the fucking victim Jesus you would think since no one but the stupid believes this a new game would be attempted.
Tell me you don't understand what it means to be into the gothic lifestyle without telling me you don't understand what it means to be into the gothic lifestyle.
Also, it's never been a secret that I have depression. A lot of the entries in this journal go into my struggle with it.
Honestly life and death is beautiful concept.....you cant have one without the other.
That was a beautiful way to put it.
Here's the thing, a person can listen to "depressing" music without having to be suffering from depression or having a depressive episode. I listen to Spanish, Korean, and a Japanese music without fully understanding what they're saying because I don't speak the languages. Music transcends all that. What a horrible world it would be if you could only listen to music that corresponded with your current emotional state.
Music mood has many meanings unless you're in the person's head.
Personally I like listening to music I relate to it makes me feel like I’m being understood. Anyways enough about the music this is confusing for me to read “depressive episode” is associated with bipolar Disorder not depression something I’m actually diagnosed with. Manic depression is the name doctors use for bipolar disorder. It is not the same illness as depression, but people with bipolar disorder experience periods of depression as well as periods of extreme highs.
Some people cant help themselves
Do not come here and tell me I don't know what I'm talking about, as a person who's suffered from depression for the vast majority of my life. Did I say I was manic depressive? No. But you don't have to be to have a depressive episode. Thanks.
I have had depression since 12 years old from pain. Immortal no pain pills, after being hit by a car. My body has always been on alert, fight or fight mode even at a young age. I was Hit so hard that my instrument crushed under the car, that could have been me but I was thrown onto a curb where my head hit.
No, I would never belittle you or not invalidate you.
I can’t stand ignorance towards actual mental health
Switched some things up in Draconem, though I'm unsure how I feel about all of it. The layout will probably stay that way until this weekend, when I go see Logan. The crest is what I'm really iffy about right now. So, if it changes, don't be surprised. I'm just too tired to put too much thought into all of it tonight. For now, it's passable.
Now I have to redo Nocturnal's layouts. The problem with me is that I like things in blues and greens, so those tend to be the colorschemes I stick to when making images for myself. Which is why the new Crest for Nocturnal is done as it is. I tied in the orange with the eyes, but outside of that, it no longer fits the main page layout. I just don't know if I want to mess around with the coding, or just wait until I see Logan this coming weekend where we can work on things together. This also means I'm likely to redo Draconem's layout, Crest, and rep image to match Nocturnal. Why do I do this to myself?
I was playing around with some things today and yesterday and I came up with this. What does VR think? I'm so unsure about my skills these days.
I miss living in cities where fireworks are prohibited. Out here, its like the wild west. It's been going on for the last month, and it'll likely continue well into next month, because I guess when you buy fireworks, you might as well stock up on them. I'm extremely tired of hearing them go off all night.
I need more gamer friends. The weekends I'm not with Logan are always rough in that I find it hard to keep myself entertained. The few friends I do still have on Xbox are all on different schedules or are busy with life, so I don't ever get to game with them anymore. I don't like playing games on my own anymore, I need the social aspect to be there or I just won't play.
Eh, I'm over summer. 0/10 - do not recommend.
If I could live my ideal life, I'd spend half the year here, from like, October to March, and then April through September over in the Southern Hemisphere, so I would be in perpetual autumn and winter awesomeness forever.
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