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💛⚰️ 💀A SECOUND FAMILY} Grungey-Summer Series ☀️No 2) 💀💛⚰️ 🧾 C/C/H SP/M/T

18:08 Aug 18 2022
Times Read: 885



This is another grungey summer
Summer as a season full of life
They say
Another bust up
Another racked up
Feel so shamed
Feel so damned
Plans for life
Kinda off track
Punk ass summer
Holding on still here
But don't know why
My wasted life
Wasting away in private
Kinda bubbley in public
Those rare moments
Of lightness
Against the heavy
Of release
Might be laughing in public
But in private
These chains are heavy
This grungey summer
Blasted from above
Held tight in the middle
Grinded from below
Not for the noted
Not for the famous connected
No league tables
Not in the magazines
Not known by this world
Not known in the best restaurents
Not noted at the table
Those who are poor
But could be rich
If Satan didn't rule this world
But he has this world
He's cut it down
Against the rightfull crown
Pulls all society's down
Those who are classed as poor
But could be rich
Rich in mind
Rich in values
Rich in loyalty
Struck down by power
Made poor by life
Kept down in life
Still struggling on
Still around to remind us
Trying to forget
Kept on a tag
Deserved a bag of gold
Get left aside
With a bag of bones
Those who trusted
Got deceived
Those who believed
Kept deceived
Living in the aftermath
Still hanging on in
Made half lives
In the aftermath⚰️
By the ghosts inside
Those left hanging on a morbid cliff
Those who believe society is a bit of a fiX
Those who know the spiders on their window sill by name
Those hanging onto society by nervey fingernails
Those who read a lot of books because societys so shit
Those we don't get party invites
Those who get spit on by their dates
Those who get lied to by their nabiours
Those who get their food cans by mail
Postman rings with my sleeping pills
Another of those grungey summers
So hoping I could rise above
But not enough will to triumph
Surrounded my enemy's
Pop up all over
I'm Death locked
Lost my savings card
Key to my other life
Can't find my papers
Can't travel
Just stuck here at home
Death locked & depressed
What a bummer
Being down in the summers
Most depressing of all
Feel like a failure
Everyone's stable
Just not ready for life
Still left reeling
Love the sun
Love summer months
Love being warm
Morbid Sunlight embrace
Sunlife is before I descended
Remember it well
Winter kills me
Winter is a dread
But it's a death sun
Tainted by death curse
Deaths kiss
Under the sun
Death walks
With me
Under the sun
A different type of hell
A warmer type of mystery
A struggle with my place
Still scarred by life
Still scared by life
Still wary
Still watching
Still struggle
Even when I walk in the light
Even when I'm up above
Even when I'm walking & talking above
Get heatsick
Get heartsick
Get lifesick again
Going on too long again
Been trying for too long again
Life is a draining again
Life is like a chain gang again
Life held by chains of the past
Guitar clanging strummers
Musical notes up from heaven
Make a bad world look better
Make a cold world look warmer
Make a long war feel shorter
Make America feel nearer
Hot crooning front man
Gonna peel all your onions
Got some meat in your sandwhich
Got some rocker dudes to lift me up a bit
They seen a Hollywood rumble
They got pretty boys in make up
Made an admirer
Kissey kissy
Cards get tricky
Leading on lucky
Dangerous pretty
Guys with loadsa hair
Who know how to preen & prance
Gonna light some fires
Get a kick when I seen you dance
They've seen a lot
They've got hardened hearts
They can play all the parts
Who know how to dance
I'd know who to kiss
Given half a chance
They can sing to a piano
And smoke without hands
Some better place
Like heaven
If I had me wanna those
I'd be out from under
But it's miles away
Another side of life
Sunny side of the dark
It's a rock n roll heaven
Strung out on morbid
Kept outta orbit
Constant impressions
Hyper perceptions
Constant intrusions
Stuff from illusions
Aspects of history
Everything's a mystery
Day full of pop ups
Say what you like
Who cares
How God made our brains
Born that way
Guy who made me
Born that way
High on nerves
High on morbid
High on perception
Fearfull in life
Being shown things
Born that way
Jumps at the 1st thing
Nerves high strung
Like a fancy violin
Guy who named me
Born that way
Nerves sharp as knives
High on fire
Living to eXhaustion
Depression steals the next cycle
Burn both ends of life's candle
Then just disappear
Born that way
My nerves not made like elastic
More like spider silk
Like my spiders web
Lines get broken
It loses its stick
Sometimes she has to respin it
Been up again
Look out window
New web
Shes been busy
Spinning again
She knows she lost herself a line
Reaching over the Atlantic
In mind body spirit
Nose stuck in books
Whenever I can escape
fuck the kitchen
fuck the world
fuck this life
Been born but can never make it fit
People just expect it
For me to eXcept it
Straight laced society
Never questions
Like I can never eXpand
Born in a frame that's too tight
Like a corset laced too tight
Can't undo it
It's all behind me
I can't see it
Need society
Others to unlace me
They have their family's
It's a small world
So noone else eXists
It's not their fight anyway
It's not their right anyway
They'll never get to understand
They'll never get to see
What we can see
Sometimes wanna just give up
Overdose on sleeping meds
Tempted to just slip out
Afraid it'll get worse
Afraid of being old & frail
An invisible life
An invisible death
Be somewhere with more peace
Somewhere with no more crazy
No more pain
Everything is about learning
Everything is about escaping
Everything is about improving
Longing to escape
Hoping for a better life
Since I was born
Never happens
But maybe one day
I'll understand how to pull myself together
United as all of my mes
Or just accepting
It must be
Always struggling with the mindset
Society's schemes
Trying to mark the skillset
Best experts in the field
eXtra price on imports
Always looking up the latest
Always trying to get educated
Always trying to get better life
Can't be there
Can't be them
Tiny bloody island
World always shrinkin
Tearing over eyes
Always seeking
But try to learn from them over here
Eat a slice of that pie
Tastes so sweet
Just to get the chance to try
Seeing with another skillset
Seeing with others eyes
Hearing perspectives
On societys
Hotel brakeaways
New life
New channels
New respite
Got an eXtra seeing eye
Showed me another life
Knowledge from their lives
eXperts at aspects of life
So they say
Got themselves the PhDs anywayz
Got me nothing to lose
By their understandings lighting my way
Psycologists understand
Some family's get real underhand
Those left behind understand
The detective who is stubborn
They understand
Life has death
Life has hidden depths
Life has taken some parts that were the best already
But death still hasn't taken those left alone
Just trying to make my own skin fit me better)
Better style of life
Better style of death
Better understanding of my place

Modern society's
Scare me to death
Always running on behind it
Another grungey punkey
Trying to stay punkey
Getting wilted by the humid
Streaking with the stupid
Glitter smears with the pretty bits
Getting smeared on by the stupid
Getting sneared on my the meaners
Wanna dye my hair pink next
Dont wanna get too funky
Don't wanna smell of the ghetto
Wanna pretend I wasn't born there
Even though my summers are damn cruel
Sweaty caged & mean
Don't want strangers to know my hurtfull origins
To strangers I try to hide
Poverty sweat fear & death
Cooking coffee patchouli
anXiety depression
Smell of decay
Fear of death
Got all ungents & oils when sweat gets too much
Got all oils & perfumes when povertys get too much
Keep a bathroom full of choices
Try to spray them away
Dye my hair like a rainbow
If I wanted
To fend off death
Prayer oils & perfumes
To fend off spirits of lurking death
Pretend I'm like the others
Born all okay
Still fit for living
Can't have me yet
Trying to keep rolling along
When I'm tempted to crawl
Trying to stay hungry & angry
Know they'd reject me
Stay behind the lines
Behind my own door
Behind the scenes
Baffled by society
Bated by modernitys
Battered from complexitys
Enthralled by death
Entombed by silence
Always wake up to silence
Radio always rolling along
Isolation spikes start of another day
Don't stand silence well
Makes me sick
Or fall back asleep
TV kept kicked on overdrive
Electricity keeps me connected
Helps keep me alive
Spying on another country
Any chance we get
Eye like an arrow
Speeds across the waters
Cameras like a crystal ball
Lives we haven't heard of yet
Huge bridges
Huge sky's
Endless sunsets
We spy
We borrow
We burrow
Like a maggot chomping
Like hunger on overdrive
No matter how dire
No matter how cold the heart
No matter how tight the wire gets
We never stop glutting up
We live for more knowledge
No amount of fear will brake the bond
No matter how bizzare
It sure gets strange
no disqust will forsake the bonds
Go figure
How it all fits together
No matter how cold the wind outside
Just turn up the sound
The narrator drives the story
Comprehension drives the mission
That's our bedtime story
We seek nourishment
From the living
Living a second life
Live like a spy
Knowledge from the living
Knowledge from the dead
Life from the other side of the bed
I can see the world unravel
Trying to read to understand
Trying to see to understand
Trying to hear to know the stand
From others lives
eXperts on crime
Gone borrowed me a second family
They don't lie or steal or hurt or try to kill
They don't drop dead hands on me
No dead man's hand left on the mattress
While I'm sleeping
Like my 1st one did me
Borrowed me uncles
Borrowed me psycologists
Borrowed me homicide detectives
Cold case detectives
They know the greif true crime inflicts
Chew over what they got to say
Those truly dedicated
Those never placated
Oogling & following
Places well never go
Survivors & pursuers
We knew crime
We knew violence
We know death
In a house of stifle & secrets
We were all silenced
In the house we were raised
Criminals were kept as kings
Children were kept in closets
Other things
Watching enraptured
Watching horrified
Watching puzzled
Watching baffled
Sometimes bizzare
Sometimes mundane
Staying sustained
Mental stimulation
Every chance we get
Inbettwen chores
After dayside hours
The night watch begins
Trying to not get punked
Trying not to puke
From bad visions
Another summer
Outside of society
Outside of sanity
Outside of security
On/off with the practicalitys
Trying to rethread the threads back together
Not an easy life summer
An outsider's grungey summer
Full of resentment & fear
Always fearfull for survival
Looking for a hard guy
But I cannot find my place
Looking for a bad guy to thrill me
But cannot find my space
Looking for a guy who's been there
But it's just an empty seat
Kept outside of societys embrace
Going pale from no sun
A little seen face
Another grungey summer
Kept behind
Never lax with my slackness
Always practical with stuff not too usefull
Kept behind by myself
Trying to take time to understand
To get a grip on dealing
With what it is
Time slips past quick
Till I get hysterical
Fear of the physical
Fear of starvation
Fear of the world I've evaded
Start writing out lists
Looking at my bank book
Realising the world still exists
As my bankroll tin turns up empty
Realising last week has already gone
Realising 3 days was actually a week......




💛 ONCE WERE FIGHTERS } Grungey-Summer series No 1) 💛 WIP SP/M/T CBF🧾)

22:19 Aug 16 2022
Times Read: 963


Older rubbish on the radio
Generic background
Some other songs
Some older songs
Not from my songlist
They say the living is easy
Easy lines
Easy light
Easy lies
Full of shame
Another life
Private blame
Cause never knew that life
Whose life was that
When the light felt free
And the breeze still worked
When promise was still potential
When all burdens were off
When burden of proof was off
When life was easy living
When life was a song
They never said sometimes
In the ghettos of hell
Struggle is with survival
Survival is with struggle
Putting up with
Keeping up
Potential gets pushed aside
All talents put on hold
Bad story's getting old
Bad hearts
Still running on cold
It's a challenge
It's a talent now to survive
Keep an eye on the pyramid
Or life can slip
Keep an eye on your buy again list
Keep an eye on your lust for life
Keep an eye on your bitten kiss
The ladder of life kept on moving
The ghetto is in your mind
More than any place
It's a mind trap
It's a crime trap
It's a chain rap
The ghetto in your mind
It's another thick chain link
A crown of razor wire
It's a long road back
Where nobody really feels free
Summer is a lighter shade of poison
The shade is dusty yellow
Skulls left out in the desert
Grinning at the cactus plants
Golden teeth didn't help them avoid the cut
That story not found out yet
Deserts a long way out
When you've no way back
Summertime is another kind of prison
Summer is another challenge to survival
Summer is another death filled vision
Summer is another way to be closer to death
Summer with privations in another kind of death
Poverty always closer to mother death
Sunshine in the ghettos
Feeling all warm
But be warned
Didn't stop the wheels of justice
The brightness
Heat sparkling
Still death all around
Death is out
Under the sun
The insects have eXtra food tonight
Under the sun
Summertime sadness
Summertime gothic embrace
Deaths sucking embrace
Heats a sucking death
At risk from society
Death gone above now
Summertime downers
Summertime bloomers
Summertime death
Starts off slowly
Gonna start blooming out
Red like the poppys
There is a summer of slow sure greif
Hot on my trail
Coming on through
Summertime depression
Summertime fatigue
Summertime oppression
Summertime defeat
Everything's holding me in
Everything holding onto me
Everything's holding me down
Want to be free
Solstice time depression
Crinkles up everything at the edges
Natural browns
And natural yellows
Burnt oranges
Like hidden letters
Like older leaves
Curling up at the edges
Summertime sadness
Weighs down the soul
For the forgotten
For the heroes
For the defenders
Once were fighters
Those who lie still
still waiting
Those still kept on high alert
Those who have muscles kept too stiff
Those whose dreams gets invaded
Those who kick out in their sleep
Those who had promisels made that others didn't keep
Those who got sick
Those who have bed rest prescription now
Those who need sleeping pills now
Kept others from falling
It's just a summertime of slower death
Seeds of death & seeds of rot
Sewed everwhere
Behind the glamour of promise
Behind the glamour of pleasure
Behind the glamour of partys
Lie the forgotten
Fighting & falling away
Those who drink cocktails
Get more advances
Cold coffee in the morning
Cold pizza
Cooked breakfast be stallin
With pepps & pills just to get started
Just a chance
Of shutting the belly up
Of waking the brain up
Cognitions getting fired on up
Older bones be grinding on
Older joints workin on heavy
Life trying to get crawlin
Feeling kinda bleak
Revolving doors
Domestical life
Just getting started
On getting me started
All those other citizens
All kept on upright
Out on the streets
Already flooding
Already striking out
Older issues
Kept on rolling
Mind driftin out to the deserts of the world
Those who have to live on
Regardless of circumstances
With very few choices
All clipped of their chances
Over loads of light
Over loads of heat
Over loads of struggle
Trying to push off the end
Trying to straighten out the bend
Getting too near
Got feelings
They got designs on me
Sure ain't flattering me
Pressure on the chest
Pushing me down
Pushing off that coffin lid
Before they slam it shut
Being morbid minded
But determined
Ain't let them takin on me
Might be talking about me
Ain't gonna be nailin on me
Ain't so flattering
But not ready to go yet
Not ready to go down
Not gonna be put down
The light is still outside
War is not done yet
It's not my number
Constant struggle to fight it off
Death keeps on hanging around
Death is an atmosphere
Death is the institution
Death is a spirit in waiting
Workin on reclaiming
I've got me some climbing
Trying to outfox death
Thinking I'm in waiting
Thinking I might be just faking
Thinking I'm there for taking it
There like a vulture
Crowned by this culture
Everyone ready to tread on someone else
To get there faster
Death just lurking
Testing those who wanna make it
Looking for weakness in the body
And strangles in the heart
Weakness in the breath
Shrinkage in the brain
Death might take it
If it can
On the march always
Not one for wasted waiting
Too much trapped heat
Too much trapped greif
Too much trapped death
Sucking out the life
Shrinking down your brain
Blinding from the light
Trying to keep cognition
Trying to see clearly
When you'd rather lie like a log
Lie panting like a dog
Dogs don't need a reason
To just lie there doing nothing
Don't need to stand for hours
Trying to make corrections
Stuck at the counter
Struggling with chaos
Every time I go rest
Everything else falls apart
Remembering to plan
Remembering to try to remember
Remembering my brain isn't right anymore
While your drinking like a fish
Fill my body with fluids
Till it just evaporates again
Too much sugar
To sweeten the bitter life
Turning white teeth dull yellow
If they had told me before
Life is a bitter pill they gave me
All the years I've worked to sweeten it
I could've tried
Better if I'd known
More life knowledge
To protect my assets
But I didn't know
But acid is erosive
The sweet that masks the sour
Gets addictive
It's too late now
To cover over the mistakes I've made
Don't smile with teeth anymore
Not sure I ever did
In case they see the hard life there
Mistakes in life
Stuck on my face
Living with the greif
Important things
I needed to know
How to protect life
Pretty bright flowers hanging in the meadow
While the widow weeps
While theyre smelling flowers
I'm smelling mould & fearing mice
I'm smelling death & fearing sickness
While they prepare for those leaving
I'm all outta feeling
All my time outs bring more death
That kitchen always kept in chaos
Best resolutions
Kept in check by depression
Nothing ever lasts
Nothing ever keeps
Trying not to think too much
Trying not to sink
Trying not to think of winter yet
Trying not to reach that far
Summertime sadness
Web of madness trying to stick on yah
Wreath of roses trying to find your neck
Trying to suck your breath out
Money bills blowing away on the breeze
Gone too quickly again
All the good bits
Sucked out again
Dreams & ideas blowing on the line
While life is on the line
Sometimes they have washing lines
Some have barbed wire fences
And once they had ropes & nooses
Curses & potions
A hard knock life
Sweating through your lifeblood
Fearing for the future
Blocking out fears at night
All the povertys
Sucking on your life
Sweaty long day
Bleaching out your life
Skin pale from fighting the fight
Reaching through to the skull underneath
Reaching for the weakness hidden underneath
As fast as the pot is filled
It's already emptied
Cause hunger cannot wait well
Gogglebox warning of troubles ahead
Bright lights
Reflecting off the spaces
The faces at night
Something cold & sinister
Out there
For others to become others
to just go dissapear
Grinding off the faces
Feeding off the lines
Blinded by the light
Injustice feeds off injustice
Death feeds off death
Crime feeds off poverty
Slime lives off slime
Flies live off flies
Lies live off lies
Lives live off lives
The dead know of the dead
The dead already know of the next to be dead
If summer held a promise of freedom
If summer held a promise of easy living
If summer held a promise of easy roaming
It's already broken
I broke my own heart
Reaching the wrong way
Broken hearts
In hardened houses
In harder hearts
Still living
Those trapped in older buildings
Still making it through
Broken lights
And leaking taps
Wasps in a jar
Meat in a stew
Make me wanna scream
Not the ideal dream
It's the hidden summer scream)
Crumbling summer dreams
Cream gets stuck at the bottom
Near turning from sweet to sour
Where the heat is turning my steady works
From good into bad
From edible into trash
Been trying but it's gone to hash
Without remorse
Heat can destroy
Without civilisation
We just sink
Without electricity
We just live in a desert
Without ice we just melt
While I'm rinsing at the sink
A new widow just got some news
That changes everything
Those we had known
Those who were ours
That life has slipped away
Can't take it back
Someone's gone done wrong
And the sin has won
Can after steel can
Cranked on open
And tossed on the piles
Steel rattling around again
Steel struggling on steel
Death fighting on death
Hunger feeding on hunger
While the expectant faces wait
Angry from hunger
Paled from the life
Faint from the heat
Life is piles of beans again
And prayers from on high
Maybe I will survive again
Maybe I want to
Maybe I dont
Jars of pickles
Save us
As vinegar throws off disease
Cools the blood
And wooden spoons turning again
Trying to think of solutions quick
Material life going down the sink
Places we haven't been
Catching us up
Keep the world at bay
Born to be that way
Born kept out the way
Problems mounting up
Empty jar after jar
Sucked out of all juices
Thrown onto the pile
Convayer belt of lives tracking along
Painfull cost of life wracking all along
Summertime long haul
Kept here trapped
Days getting too long
Dreams getting undone
Trying to walk one more mile
For one more day
Struggling in the ghettos
Trying to work on through it
Death runs right through it
Everything I'm getting washed
Grime runs on back through it
Trying to be upright
All my good works
Getting undone
Trying to try life again
Before I go give on up again
For a bit
Books full of voices
Voices full of books
Other lives full of hooks
All the colours I put on my face
Just go run off it again
Heat sucking out life
Till I'm white as death again
Looking half way to the morgue already
Whole pile of colours
Trying to keep steady
Try to be pretty
But heat strips me bare again
A white out again
Like a naked mole rat
Being bleached by the sun again
Coming up for air
Looking ready to rest
Long time resting in a coffin
Without a friend
I'm living faster than I can stand
Dying faster than I planned
Death is kept on hold
This thin divide
Only just
Like rubber keeps off rot
Like a body bag keeps the bits from falling off
Like a roll call of the missing
Getting too long lost
Summer suffering
Just round the bend
Chaos drives me round the bend
Summertime hysteria unsettles my mind
Heat riles my brain
Heat melts my brain
Summer fly's ain't helping me none
They just wanna get some
Rising heat makes me feel dizzy
Don't trust the heat
The hotter it gets
The longer without the release of good rains
The more I think it
The more I feel it
The more I fear it
Summer without end
Summer in the city
That this summer will be the one to take me
That this summer could be the one to brake me
No air to breath
Just slow basting heat
Bad tasting heat
Got me beat
Blearing & seething
Slowly melting everything
Poverty slowly corroding
Property looking lonley
Stripping layers away
Leaving the neglected to further decay
Summer in the city
Pavements all dirty
Crowded with chaos
Crowds out in earnest
Sweat slowly dripping
Eyes kept on blinking
Death thinking of claiming
Any person who couldn't keep up
Ice creams are melting
Dreams are slipping
What were we thinking
How can we know when our time is due
Those trying to keep cool
Getting swept up
Getting found drowned
Some other day
Summer days out
More accidents on the radio
Along with the morning turn ups
The eggs I made won't flip up
Just curl up at the edges
Get the summertime blues
Nothing like the winter times
All the colours run different
Silent death just streams from it
Feeling of it
Smell of it
Fear of it
Feel for it
Runs right through it
Runs right through me
Right through the county lines
Don't know who's gone
But I know someone has
It's there
Feel of death
Reel of death
Fear of death
Stronghold of death
Some fences don't get mended
There is a life
And over the sea
Another soul knows it
Another soul owes it
Detectives been keeping busy
Quietly dropping like flies
Unknown lives
In the background
Always grinding in those hours regardless
Death doesn't care if your fighting or falling
He just gotta reap you
Summertime or winter
Slow depression can marr you
Slow death can beat you
Every hour of the day
Got a morbid miasma
A bad cloud that follows me
Just try to lie down
Pressing in
Distorting my vision
Air feels too thick
It soon comes around
Sickness & death struggle to get in
Bad miasma
Trying to suffocate me
Heat disturbing me
Associate with death
Private suffocation
Overload of sensations
Dont trust the heat
Don't trust my life
Don't want to die
Struggle to keep conscious
Struggle to fight on
Struggle to stay awake
Struggle to keep focused on an object
Visualise the shapes they taught me
But my sight is slipping away from it
My mind's just like a candle melting
Wick flaring in the heat
Taught to hold on
To stay focused
Trying to hold on
Trying to stay clear
Stifled as it's slipping
Hold onto colours
Hold onto memos
Hold onto shapes
Hold onto hands
Count out the fingers
Remember the words
Don't get sick
Just slipping
Away from everything
Wanting to let go
Out of the arena
I don't care
That I don't care
I realise that then
Bad habits
Coming to the fore
Not trying to care
Want to live
Want to die
Not even sure
Why carry on?!?
Heats sucked out my will
I'll wills sucked out my life
My concentration gone to shit
That I'm not holding on
Need to hold on
I've forgotten my own thoughts already
Didn't do the drill
Got myself sick
Dropped the focus
Dropped myself
Dropped the will
Dropped the ball
By not seeing the colours
By not seeking the way
Bad colours can scar you
Bad habits can marr you
By not fighting for life
Mind body spirit it's there
Distortions in the energy field
Evil spirits sinking in
Can always see it
Can't try to make it go
Bad air makes me feel sick
Been trying to fake it
Life's gonna take it
Been hot too long
Too long without any real rain
All we ever had here is rain
Few days of sun
Then rain or just gray grim
Real reliable
Now the heats gonna go kill us
Now the yellow light is tainted
Now the yellow ball is fated
No longer benign
Heat was quietly warming
Now it's a weather warning
Some kinda draught
Now it's slowly beating down
Beating us down
Summer in the city
Sunny days in the ghettos
Now gone to the height of baking
Now the life struggle
Has some hotter stakes
Feels cramped
Feels trapped
Being kept stifled
Keep feeling sick
No real reason
No real symptoms
Just vague nausea
Just povertys sticking
Just bad memorys
Bad laughter cooking
Bad vibes make sick feelings
Shit memorys
Of trash talking
Bastards always think that their clever
Killers always think it's forever
Detectives know the chains & tethers
Tough air locks those feelings
Bad air sinks my feelings
Everything so stifling
The colours looking muted
Looking kinda melted
No mod cons to steal the rivals
No long thunders to clear the air
Long days without respite
Long nights with the stifling air
Everyone trying to be dreaming
But just stuck there lame
Limp & sweating
Slowly dying
Should be sleeping
Kept quietly steaming
Kept slowly sticking
Whole bottle necks of cola
Lids slowly releasing
Fizz belting through the system
All fluid just evaporating
Thirst never ending
Kept up late
True crime story's steadily flicking
Trying to let go
Thought I heard a knocking
But just the TV dropping
But jumps me outta sleep
Everything is quietly rotting
Bodies in the evenings
Slowly sweating
Blood slowing
Quietly clotting
Summers been too long without rain
Summers been too long without pain
Can't see properly
Don't have no feelings
Dried out streets
Dried out air
Dried out reasons
Nobody's stopping
Always think of hidden deaths in the summer
Someone's been stashed somewhere
Somewhere a lonely corpse
Slowly rotting
At least that fight is over
That heart is past stopping
I know what hidden is
I know the lost
My envy too near the surface
What am I fighting for
Summertime downers
Morbid convictions
Can't ever prove it
I've always known of it
Feels so close
So close to the dead
I live my life close to corpses
I feel them near
Hidden around & under
Every Summer
Their inside my head
I imagine I can smell them
Feels so far
But feels so near
Just waiting for my time to come
Till it's over
Part of me in envy
Kept in waiting
Fear of being taken
Other side want it over
But not near my time yet.....
Won't be the one to find it





14:36 Aug 13 2022
Times Read: 1,058


Gods gotta be here with me tonight
Gods gotta know me now by all rights
Gods gotta know me by now
Gods gotta know me by his better sights
World ain't one for caring
World full of fisher men with their hooks
Don't take a care about your soul
All they care about is snaring
All they care about is selling
But do you know what you be buying?!?
Could be a spy who's lying
A smile that doesn't reach the eyes yet
Teeth that want to grind on you
Danger with its eye on you
A hook being saved for you
Looking sharp & sure on you
They all got nets to snare you
Ain't be saving your soul
Just be tracking you for death
Just be trying to sucker you
Leave you laying out like a salted fish
Pickle you in peices
And put you in a jar of they could
Put your remains on public display💀

Peeps who see things better don't get to be sharing
Peeps trying to read on books
To know the word
Ways to live better
Waste time less on the the fetters
Futures which won't be working
Got on the wrong plan
See me in these blasted uncaring lights
Only lights in my eyes are the lights of Holy Death
Skull markers of her halls
Her lights are bright in spirit
They burn yah
Soul lights
Skull markers
Spirit centrpeice
But not the lights of the world
Bright lights too harsh
Gonna burn out my eyesight
Don't wanna see this world no more💀

Got my own way of serving
Gott my own way of observing
Gott my own way of Sinning
Some eye on the world
Some eye on his word
Some eye on his world
Twin snakes entwining
White and black
One goes towards sinning
One goes towards serving
One goes towards ascending
One goes towards descending
Some go to trying to follow a sinner man
But God ain't giving me none
God has left me out
Left me out of the wheel of life
Left me behind with the mask of death
Left me out of the dance of death
Kept me past the prime of life
Kept me locked in chains of death💀

They've put me down
They've torn me about
They've spit me back out
They've put me out
So fuck them all now
I'm settling back in anger
Staying out the back
Staying with a whole world of works
Books & more books
Words & more words
All around me
All surrounding me
Pens & books
Another whole world💀

Learning to keep on back
Learning to be more wary
Trying to count the stack
Be more calculated
When you get older
When you don't taste like they wanted
When your getting on wiser
When you've got wise men's book
Ain't fresh bait no more
Might know their plans
Might feel hooks are coming
Might know of their ways
They ain't getting none
Shouldn't be working it
Getting on noone
Fisher men
Hearts in a cage
Now I'm the wiser
The webs getting wider
Living like this
Left half living
Already half way to the grave💀

Trying to know what he's planning
Gotta know what he's wanting
Can't always know
Not always been praying
Not always being attached like I should
Not always knowing him like I should
Get attached to this world too much
Start on with dying
Warning to us
Wasted on trying
World don't need us
They advertise this world
Never advertise the other
Need the Lord need his love
Need the Lady need her love
Holy spirit
Righteous everlasting
Otherwise perish in the desert
Of thirsts everlasting💀

Sometimes life gets unnerving
Know the world puts lots of energy's into not caring
Trying to know what needs doing
And what needs undoing
With noone to guide
No authority's to be trusted
Making sure to survive
Life's getting on so long
Been down so long
Desperate animals
Jackals of the sicker gods
Lights been dwindling for so long
Gettos got its own way of creating one day
Making promises never to be kept
Boasting to look big
Toasting to look big
And destroying the next💀

Got its own pimps making some waX outta envy & hate
Making waX outta other people's fates
Making waX outta people's faces
Watching on other people's faces
Watching on other people's plates
Waiting for the dinner hour to sing
Watching the soul candle burn down💀

Try to have my own way of thinking
Try to have my own way of serving
But sometimes will to +Sin got me swerving
All just staying in my mind's own eye
God's still guiding making sure that no shit is happening
Gaurdian angel watching over
A weary eye
Guys got their own witches brews stirring
Try to stay away from their lives
Try to stay away from their lines
Try to stay away from their lies
Get you done up & dusted
I know it's no good
Not living as I should
Life as lonley as the longest night
Life should be right
But it just gets going on crooked
Life gets like a knife to the nerves
Like pins all over the body
Teeth be grinding in my sleep
Only bad guys rememberin
The promises that they'd keep
Some of them angels be lying for their keep💀

Bad guys cold white teeth
Flashing white in the night
Only smile your gonna get
Teeth are the hardest material we have
But no harder than the heartless heart
Someone's due to die
due to pass this night
Someone switched off like a light
Taken out of the game
Everyone in the chain shifting back around
Some seats noone sits in💀

Some one faceless I never knew
Some tough guy who looks like he could kill
Getting all mistaken
Thinking that I know people
When I just know of people
Knew them sometimes
I just knaw like a dog with a bone
Gonna be there all day
Sometimes it's lust
Lust for a life
Just be dreamin
The will for life
Sometimes it's just fear
Sun so warm
Gone out in the night
All kinda shit I can feel
All kinda shit I can fear
Strangers all with nets
Strangers all working on plots
All tying peeps into knots
Unknown people
Marking burial plots💀

It gets uncaring
It gets disturbing
It gets unnerving
Fear of strangers
Colder hearts practising
bad religion practising
Demon gods always having rank envys
Nothing good
Comes of having goodness
Kinda hard to stay connected
Better than life lived godless
Letting society win
Like being rudderless
Fear of the future
Fear of the features
When a haven becomes a fortress
When brick walls feel more like glass
They say a closed door is nothing more
Than a closed mind
When the day is done
No door on the world
But some walls have eyes and ears
Some walls feel more like carboard sometimes
Than solid walls
They drill through the walls
With minds & eyes
When your mind starts to unwind💀
Gets real unnerving sometimes
Hard circles
Colder circles
Cold management
Dead men's hand
In the ghetto
Psycosocial diseases
Peeps who do as they pleases
Surrounded by curses
Try to sleep safe
Try to sleep right
But it's a burden
Knowledge of life
Sleep with softer toys cause the world is hard
Coloured pillows
Cause the world is blacker
Try to sleep safe
But sleeping with fear
On the other half of the bed
Ghosts of dread
Mind fills ghosts of the dead
One half of the bed holds the living
Other half the fear of death
Not ready to go yet
But not too happy with going on livin
Got too much mess to fiX
Too many Demons got longer memorys
Of lives that been living
Situations of no giving
Peeps who regret their living
Folks trapped with the results of their sinning......💀



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