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birra's Journal


birra's Journal

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18 entries this month
 

All days draw to an end...

18:05 May 30 2008
Times Read: 976


The sidewalk swells with people

Walking here and there

From pub to restaurant

And pub to pub

Under the glowing neon lights

From street corner to corner

They came here tonight

To eat, and drink, and be social

Maybe to forget about the day

Maybe to forget about life

The tables chocked full of glasses

Most empty, some full

Plates of food to be shared


A stray napkin floats across my foot in the breeze

And cigarette smoke curls past my nose

In the thick, warm summer air

From every doorway comes loud music

The sounds of conversation even louder

The laughter, lots of laughter

Happy, drunken laughter

The sounds of people enjoying life

If only for one night


The sun sets

Dusk seeps in through

Every alley way, every seem

Between the tall towers

That surround and obscure


A waiter refills a water glass

The ice clanks sharp sounds as it falls

A couple sits across from me

Him, looking at her with adoring eyes

Putting all he can into making his stories entertaining

His gestures, his face

His engagement to her at this moment

Her profile set against

The dimming light of the day

Her cigarette glows orange

In the dusky atmosphere as she draws

A dragon’s breath and exhales a plume of white smoke

The smoke dances in the air

Swirled by the evening breeze

And not noticed to the eyes of those around her


Young women walk by in tight jeans

Cut low, tops that expose

They stroll with a purpose

Or no purpose at all

Some in pairs, some in groups

High heels and sandals

Trailing behind the young boys

In loose clothing and backward hats

Torn jeans and torn shoes

Pretending in this dance

To be men


A policeman patrols the street

Stopping to talk

With every young girl he sees


An older man, homeless

Wanders from table to table

Asking for money, for food to eat

Security guards take him gently by his elbow

And walk him down the street

And talk him down the street

To the barricade

To discard him again


A street musician plays

A tune low and mellow

Hoping for the grace of money

The value he has placed

On the breath he gives

To set motion to his song


At every bar, boys and girls

Vie for each others’ attention

Sizing each other up

Prize fighters seeking a belt

Stating they have conquered

Hoping the glances

And awkward attempts at conversation

Will lead to the love they seek

The need they must fill

The desires they must release


But the busy sounds of the street

Give way to the quiet loneliness

Of an empty room

A chamber of soft walls

And cookie cutter furniture

Set above the noise of the street

But even from afar

The politics of the night remain the same


While my mind drifts

To the more pleasurable things

Quiet whispers in the dark

Gentle breathing

Laughter followed by loving embraces

And unmistakable

The smell of love

The taste of love

Something that fills the loneliness

Gives substance to emptiness

And can provide a glimpse of happiness

But always feeling just out of reach


As each says good night

And awakens to a new day

The challenges remain the same

Of love and desire

The need to fill these parts of life

Only time will tell

And in the end

Time is the only currency of value

More than the love we give and receive

More than the efforts we make

There is no replacing the time

We spend


Oh, to have more of it

That is the wealth we desire

Money and riches cannot help us

When we are out of time

And each day time ends too soon

Each day signifies a little death

And the youthful feeling

Of invincibility

Immortality

Dies with the setting sun

As I turn off the last light


But the morning breathes new life

A new chance to be alive

To do everything

And be everything to everyone

Everyone who matters

To strive for that unreachable

Immortality


Then we ask

What is the meaning of life?

When the better question is

What does life mean to you?

And the time you spend

This invaluable currency

You cannot earn more

It cannot be saved


Be thrifty in your days


COMMENTS

-



Morrigon
Morrigon
18:15 May 30 2008

I love being able to see in my mind perhaps what you sat watching hours ago...



Brave traveler, lay down your burden and pay us a visit. Here, food, spirits, and laughter await you.



Perhaps a shoulder rub too. >.>





KCRC
KCRC
18:58 May 31 2008

Nice prose Mr. Birra!





 

Between 3:19AM and A319...

15:40 May 28 2008
Times Read: 999


...

You see this person

As he is

And you long to see

The one that hides beneath

But he shows you all he has

The hopes

The hurts

The dreams

And the desires

And with each passing day

You see more

Of what you believe is there


You want to dig deep

Into the soul

Into the earthen matter

That creates the fiber

The muscles

The bone

The everything beneath

The everything he doesn't give

What you believe is there


We take our time

In our journey through life

A pace in which we set

Paths diverging

Paths converging

And we seek to find

Our way

The right path

The right words

The feelings

And the everything

Of what we believe is there


And in our youth we

Discover the wonders

This life unfolds

The love

And passion

The hurt

And wanting

The meaning

The hope

And everything

Of what we believe is there


We take and we give

No more and no less

Than what life can offer

Everything

Nothing


We share

We listen

We offer the world

Our souls

And take none for ourselves

We remain longing

Through this journey of life

Seeking

Finding

Losing

Of what we think is everything

And what we believe is there


The nights he has listened

Your voice

The only image

Echoing in his memory

Creating a feeling

Like raising fingerprints

Caressing his skin

Softly

Gently

Your breathy words in his ear

The passion you’ve shared

For what you love

What you cherish

The words

The images

The matter

The dreams

And everything else

That he believes is there


But your voice haunts

His days

Never ceasing

Always there

Offering comfort

And hope

And taking a bit of him

Of his heart

Of his dreams

A bit here

And a bit there

Leaving him powerless

To stop the erosion

Of the rocks he has placed

In the sand

On the shore

Guarding like a sentry

What he once thought

Was safe and secure

But will never be again

...


COMMENTS

-



faeriemoon
faeriemoon
06:08 May 29 2008

Wow hon, just...wow :)





captainglobehead
captainglobehead
13:17 May 29 2008

"Leaving him powerless

To stop the erosion

Of the rocks he has placed

In the sand

On the shore"





That is so cool. That was beautifully put.





Morrigon
Morrigon
18:18 May 30 2008

Your words can sooth and create turmoil at the same time...Your words are change in itself.



It reminds me that I must question what I believe, always look further, always search deeper, and be gentle in my quest because change can be terrifying.





 

PRIVATE ENTRY

15:16 May 28 2008
Times Read: 1,002


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •


 

04:03 May 25 2008
Times Read: 1,028


I was working on the new bulletin board for the technical project I'm working on until almost 3AM this morning.


I sent the preliminary results of it to... ugh... Brad...


"...it's ok, but I don't see the search functionality you said it would have... can't we put our logo on there... I mean (x-company's) logo..."


Ummm.. perhaps if you look at the menu and.. click.. the... "SEARCH" option....


And if you want some other company's logo on my website.. well, that would be advertising. Let's see how much that will cost... or, maybe I could put my company's logo prominently on their website?


Oh, and.. you're welcome.


Can this guy be any more of a... "manager?"


COMMENTS

-



Joli
Joli
04:15 May 25 2008

I know another word...I can't say it because I'm nice, but it ends in "bag."





Morrigon
Morrigon
15:25 May 25 2008

ASSHOLE! GOD





Let me deal with that fucking prick.





Morrigon
Morrigon
18:18 May 30 2008

Ahem...I wasn't drunk when I left the previous comment, of course not >.>





Brad is the ultimate stinkybutt poophead. Let's TP his house!!!





 

04:32 May 24 2008
Times Read: 1,047


Had to put this one in just for the fun of it...


COMMENTS

-



Morrigon
Morrigon
18:20 May 30 2008

Sweet Jesus! This is hilarious and impressive...How the hell do they come up with this stuff?





 

04:21 May 24 2008
Times Read: 1,049


Truth in advertising? Seriously, what would you do?


COMMENTS

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Morrigon
Morrigon
18:19 May 30 2008

*dies* That's me, totally me!



My dad would shit his pants if that happened to him...





 

Who is Brad?

04:39 May 23 2008
Times Read: 1,067


Who is Brad? ...I think this is the best example I can offer.


Brad is the new marshal.. and I'm just trying to get my work on Space Station 11 done the best I can...



COMMENTS

-



Morrigon
Morrigon
05:04 May 23 2008

Oh my God...That's so accurate...





artemka
artemka
21:43 May 23 2008

Ahhhh got it ....



does Brad have a beard then ?





birra
birra
22:27 May 23 2008

No he doesn't... because although it is true you can grow a beard on a space station, it has been proven you cannot grow a beard with your head up your ass all the time...





artemka
artemka
21:20 May 24 2008

You don't like this Brad right ?



Its just a feeling I get ...





 

19:38 May 22 2008
Times Read: 1,091


Brad is evil... everything is Brad's fault.


Right now he has invaded my office and his mere presence has caused untold tragedies.


Namely... the sewer line in my office plugged and everything backed-up through the toilet and wash basin in the basement... I was at the office until the wee-hours of the morning cleaning up the mess.


Roto-Rooter fixed the issue in about 30 minutes this morning... $300.


I wish I could make $600 an hour.


I guess if the trade-off is working on stuff like that, or doing what I do for what I make... I'll stick with my current job.


Yuck.


Regardless... the crap calamity is all Brad's fault. It has to be.


COMMENTS

-



Bones
Bones
19:50 May 22 2008

Okay, who in hell is, Brad? ;P





Joli
Joli
19:55 May 22 2008

Actually, you yankee "I live above sea level" types...it's BASEMENTS! Basements are evil and spooky. Every scary movie ever made...where are the spooks? You probably have scat-tossing poltergeists in your potties. It's probably their warning, "Geeeeettt Outtttttt!" I bet you thought to yourself, "hmmm...I should go check that out." Classic. You won't find any basements here in New Orleans, and you'll never ever find me in one!





artemka
artemka
22:09 May 22 2008

Yup who is Brad again ??? LOL





Harpia
Harpia
03:15 May 23 2008

I HATE Brad...



Brad is Damien .



XD





 

03:29 May 21 2008
Times Read: 1,107


Hey Joli, I think I found a video example of what a fast food restaurant in New York City might be like....





COMMENTS

-



Joli
Joli
04:04 May 21 2008

I ate there. You yankees are scary!





 

23:20 May 20 2008
Times Read: 1,113


While walking through 4TH Street Live in Louisville last week...


J: "Ever eat at a Cold Stone Creamery?"


Me: "No..."


J: "Oh, it's awesome. They have this stone that is chilled to like, -40 degrees, and they pour cream right on it and it freezes instantly!"


Me: "Negative 40 degrees, eh?"


J: "Yeah!"


Me: "Is that in celsius or fahrenheit?"


J: "Uh... fahrenheit I guess. Why, are they European?"


Me: "..."


---------------------------------------------


Oh boy....


COMMENTS

-



 

Only 37 minutes remain...

06:53 May 18 2008
Times Read: 1,135


...

I feel my way through the dark

With open hands

Touching the walls

Feeling the bones left hanging

Stripped of all meat and substance

They clatter to be reborn


Hands reach back

To me from the walls as I pass

Grasping through webbed crevices

They want

Always reaching out

For something

Threatening all that come near

Wanting to see the light

If only for a moment

One brief beautiful moment

Not shrouded in dark

Existing in light


I can crawl through this dark

I feel what has been left lying

Strewed upon the floor

Never sorted, never cleaned

No resolution

There is too much

It overwhelms

I take each piece into my hands

I study them

Memorize them

To escape my blindness

Broken pieces

Left here to be hidden

Never repaired


It is cold here

My skin shivers as I feel what I cannot see

I must bring light to this world

The past

The horrible past

The future

The uncertain


I take hold of the pieces

And with a fury in heart

I rub them together

The friction

The heat

The spark of life they need

To see the light again

The pieces create the heat

But only I can breathe unto them the flame

...


COMMENTS

-



ladygoddessaries
ladygoddessaries
14:48 May 18 2008

Very nice~





Joli
Joli
06:49 May 19 2008

The title is so intriguing, and these lines grabbed me, just like the tale they told, and they held me fast in their grip:



"They clatter to be reborn



Hands reach back

To me from the walls as I pass

Grasping through webbed crevices

They want

Always reaching out

For something"



I love when you write, my friend. I really do. You are far better than you believe.





 

05:13 May 18 2008
Times Read: 1,143


Morri is right, New York City is NOT New York State.


People in New York City generally think Upstate is wasted, rural farmlands that wouldn't survive without all the money New York City "Brings in..."


People in Upstate generally think New York City is no better than a cesspool of people living on top of each other and our taxes wouldn't be half as much if we didn't have to support all the extra social programs they require just to keep the city from spiraling into a vortex of filth and violence.


I think Joli's story speaks volumes to the differences. You would be hard pressed to see that kind of behavior in New York outside of New York City.


Of course I bag on the south. It's just an easy target and yes, a completely different environment than what I grew up and currently live in. It's strange to be there, interacting with the people. It is a lot different. And I have to go there... quite often.


But then again I've always said the deep south really starts in south-central New York... ever been there?


Oh, and I do poke fun at or bitch about New York just as much. Common', our governor just got the boot for spending thousands of dollars... money he LAUNDERED... on prostitutes!


This was the guy who was supposed to turn the politics of New York towards a better direction... and he turned out to be... just.. one of them too.


I guess the only thing I can say in his defense is... at least he wasn't thumping a bible while doing it.


And, Jo... of all the places I've been to in the United States, Louisiana is not one of them. So you won't see me take shots at sunny LA... at least not until I've experienced it for myself.


Maybe it's time for a visit... hmmm...


I think the attitude difference between where I live and the "south" can be summed up nicely in a conversation I had while working with a service tech in Alaska, who resides in North Carolina...


Me: "So, J, where do you live anyway? Charlotte?"


J: "Oh heck no. Charlotte is a dirty, violent, crime filled city... I hate it."


Me: "Dirty? Violent? Crime filled.. ahhh.. the good ol' south..."


J: "Hey! That's not the south. Where I live is the real south and it's not like that! If you ever said that where I live, they'd shoot yer ass."


...yes... because after all, shooting someone isn't a violent crime if you've made a derogatory comment about where they live...


COMMENTS

-



Morrigon
Morrigon
05:35 May 18 2008

True dat





Joli
Joli
06:44 May 19 2008

There's violence and dirtiness here, too; but there's a slow, warm culture that is like no other place in the US I have ever visited. You have to see New Orleans with someone who knows her and loves her the way I do, realistically and idealistically. My home.





 

PRIVATE ENTRY

04:00 May 18 2008
Times Read: 1,147


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •


 

20:26 May 16 2008
Times Read: 1,164


Sitting here waiting for the battery in my other laptop to charge so I can finish up the day... a family waiting area, the tv is on... there was just a commercial... more of a public service announcement... that if your high-speed wireless at home stops working, you should unplug your router and plug it back in.


No.. I'm not kidding.


A full 30 seconds dedicated to... don't get angry, just unplug your router, and plug it back in.


No, this isn't obvious to everyone, but... yeah... what's next? Commecials explaining how to reboot Windows? How about instructions on how to change the ink cartridges in your printer?


If your car runs out of gas... don't panic, just put more in...


Kind of reminds me of Virginia's ad campaign a few years back urging residence to NOT have sex with 12-14 year old girls.


Ahhh.. the south. Did they ever really fully rejoin the United States?


COMMENTS

-



Morrigon
Morrigon
20:32 May 16 2008

Well this entire entry would be made better if you were naked.



Now to get naked, don't get angry, simply take your clothes off.





Joli
Joli
20:40 May 16 2008

Yes, you're so right about the south. We are so backward.



You know, I was fortunate enough to visit the large city in your state where I learned about your return policies in retail establishments. A gentleman tried to return a watch he'd just bought because it wasn't working properly. He had the receipt. The proprietor assured him with a baseball bat that the watch was just fine. When the customer began to protest, the proprietor swung and the customer reconsidered and decided to keep the merchandise after all. Eye-opening for a bumpkin southerner like me.





Morrigon
Morrigon
20:47 May 16 2008

The common misconception is that the state is the same as the city. They couldn't possibly be further apart. In fact I think we should dislodge the city and send it out to sea.





NightBlossom
NightBlossom
01:11 May 18 2008

I want to know what's with all the family mullets and rat tails...both men and women. And the people that drop trou in the clothing departments and shit under the clothing racks. And the term buggy instead of cart. And pop instead of soda. And spelling wednesday 'wensday'. And "put it up" instead of "put it away".



FRIGGIN SOUTHERNERS!!!!! hehe, and I'm only in West Virginia...only part of the 50 because it wanted to be northern...and failed miserably.





 

PRIVATE ENTRY

23:38 May 13 2008
Times Read: 1,168


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •


 

05:37 May 12 2008
Times Read: 1,197


What is up with so many people using the word "fuck" over and over again in their journals tonight?


Good gawd people.. take a breather and grab a thesaurus.


COMMENTS

-



 

07:02 May 11 2008
Times Read: 1,206


I received a letter in the mail today. It looked personal rather than something business oriented. So much of my mail is junk - credit card offers, verizon ads, bills... getting something that looks hand written and personalized always catches my eye.


Especially when the return address was from Memphis. Now, I have friends and business associates in the Memphis area, but why would one of them out of the blue just send me a letter?


Ignoring all the other mail, including a check I had been waiting for, I opened this letter first.


It was from a former employer; the owner of the company I worked for before I opened my own business.


David was a friend. Well, still is. We just haven't talked much since he had to close his business and rebuild his life. He hired me in the fall of 2001, shortly after 9/11 to help him with a project. After the project was over he wanted my help in boosting sales for his company. Things weren't going well for him - tightening contracts, debt and then the slump in the technology market following 9/11. He was hoping my sales experience and the clients and contacts I had on my side would help him dig out of the hole his company was in...


...unfortunately it was too little, too late. One Monday morning in April 2002, he called me and told me he had to close up shop.


It was abrupt. It was hurried. He left a lot of loose ends hanging and really had to go into hiding for a while from his employees... and former employees, going after him for monies owed.


He left owing me over $3000.


By gones.


Business isn't personal, and I hold no grudges.


His letter surprised me. Even more surprising was, enclosed with the letter, was a check. Not a lot... not what he owed me. It felt more like a thank you, and an attempt to make amends somehow.


At least, that is the feeling I got from it.


The letter caused me to do a little self-reflection and I found myself lost in thought after reading it. I know things haven't been easy for him the last six years. He has had to rebuild his life and move in a different direction. He relocated to Memphis and went back to school... and still, years later he hasn't forgotten the debts he owed.


No phone call.. no email...


...just this letter, wishing me well. Hoping things are going good for me.


And a check.


I look at this... in life... as one of those... "it comes around moments."


Even though it's been years since we've spoke, I think he knows now, as he did then, I hold no ill regard toward what happened. I knew his situation when I signed on... it happens.


And as I run my business... just as I always have been in life... I give. I give of myself, and I try to share my good fortune in life as much as I can.


I guess that is one of the reasons I do work so hard... I want this business to be successful. I want to leave something for my children to grow and succeed with.


Even more though, I want to leave my mark on the world in this way.


To build a business that is successful and gives back to those who need it.


Kind of like Robin Hood.... except no stealing, no tights and we actually provide good services!


Until I get to the point that my finances allow me to give as much as I want... I will still give what I can.


It's just who I am.


And hopefully that good "Karma" will keep.. comin' round.


....I see a trip to Memphis in my future.


COMMENTS

-



Morrigon
Morrigon
07:08 May 11 2008

You are a very generous person, and you don't do what you do for selfish reasons. I hope people see that and return the same to you.



The work you do is so impressive...So is the amount of time you put into what you do, you're always willing to go those extra few hundred miles just so something gets done right.



You have a lot to juggle and take care of, and you handle stress ten times better than I know I ever will heh.



In general, you're just one awesome dude. Now get to bed!





faeriemoon
faeriemoon
15:40 May 11 2008

Just one of the many reasons I am so proud to call you friend. You are an amazing person.





queenofchaos
queenofchaos
07:33 May 12 2008

Well that is simply awesome!

I do hope you make it out to see him, but I am sure you will...your just an amazing generous person....that never stops giving.





sahahria
sahahria
14:55 May 12 2008

Reading entries like this gives me hope. Hope that people are tending more towards the greater part of themselves that still holds things like honor, integrity and love in high esteem. When I hear of people that do not just blame others to move on, it does the same thing for me.



We can make a difference, we can be the change we want to see in the world.





 

1-0

07:38 May 01 2008
Times Read: 1,235


...yes, I got lucky. That is the only reason I won.


Sometimes it's better to be lucky than good.


I'm sure my luck will be short lived... I'm anticipating your revenge.


COMMENTS

-



LostKitten
LostKitten
14:03 May 01 2008

Got lucky and won......hehehe Congratulations!!!!








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