The sidewalk swells with people
Walking here and there
From pub to restaurant
And pub to pub
Under the glowing neon lights
From street corner to corner
They came here tonight
To eat, and drink, and be social
Maybe to forget about the day
Maybe to forget about life
The tables chocked full of glasses
Most empty, some full
Plates of food to be shared
A stray napkin floats across my foot in the breeze
And cigarette smoke curls past my nose
In the thick, warm summer air
From every doorway comes loud music
The sounds of conversation even louder
The laughter, lots of laughter
Happy, drunken laughter
The sounds of people enjoying life
If only for one night
The sun sets
Dusk seeps in through
Every alley way, every seem
Between the tall towers
That surround and obscure
A waiter refills a water glass
The ice clanks sharp sounds as it falls
A couple sits across from me
Him, looking at her with adoring eyes
Putting all he can into making his stories entertaining
His gestures, his face
His engagement to her at this moment
Her profile set against
The dimming light of the day
Her cigarette glows orange
In the dusky atmosphere as she draws
A dragon’s breath and exhales a plume of white smoke
The smoke dances in the air
Swirled by the evening breeze
And not noticed to the eyes of those around her
Young women walk by in tight jeans
Cut low, tops that expose
They stroll with a purpose
Or no purpose at all
Some in pairs, some in groups
High heels and sandals
Trailing behind the young boys
In loose clothing and backward hats
Torn jeans and torn shoes
Pretending in this dance
To be men
A policeman patrols the street
Stopping to talk
With every young girl he sees
An older man, homeless
Wanders from table to table
Asking for money, for food to eat
Security guards take him gently by his elbow
And walk him down the street
And talk him down the street
To the barricade
To discard him again
A street musician plays
A tune low and mellow
Hoping for the grace of money
The value he has placed
On the breath he gives
To set motion to his song
At every bar, boys and girls
Vie for each others’ attention
Sizing each other up
Prize fighters seeking a belt
Stating they have conquered
Hoping the glances
And awkward attempts at conversation
Will lead to the love they seek
The need they must fill
The desires they must release
But the busy sounds of the street
Give way to the quiet loneliness
Of an empty room
A chamber of soft walls
And cookie cutter furniture
Set above the noise of the street
But even from afar
The politics of the night remain the same
While my mind drifts
To the more pleasurable things
Quiet whispers in the dark
Laughter followed by loving embraces
The smell of love
The taste of love
Something that fills the loneliness
Gives substance to emptiness
And can provide a glimpse of happiness
But always feeling just out of reach
As each says good night
And awakens to a new day
The challenges remain the same
Of love and desire
The need to fill these parts of life
Only time will tell
And in the end
Time is the only currency of value
More than the love we give and receive
More than the efforts we make
There is no replacing the time
Oh, to have more of it
That is the wealth we desire
Money and riches cannot help us
When we are out of time
And each day time ends too soon
Each day signifies a little death
And the youthful feeling
Dies with the setting sun
As I turn off the last light
But the morning breathes new life
A new chance to be alive
To do everything
And be everything to everyone
Everyone who matters
To strive for that unreachable
Then we ask
What is the meaning of life?
When the better question is
What does life mean to you?
And the time you spend
This invaluable currency
You cannot earn more
It cannot be saved
Be thrifty in your days
You see this person
As he is
And you long to see
The one that hides beneath
But he shows you all he has
And the desires
And with each passing day
You see more
Of what you believe is there
You want to dig deep
Into the soul
Into the earthen matter
That creates the fiber
The everything beneath
The everything he doesn't give
What you believe is there
We take our time
In our journey through life
A pace in which we set
And we seek to find
The right path
The right words
And the everything
Of what we believe is there
And in our youth we
Discover the wonders
This life unfolds
Of what we believe is there
We take and we give
No more and no less
Than what life can offer
We offer the world
And take none for ourselves
We remain longing
Through this journey of life
Of what we think is everything
And what we believe is there
The nights he has listened
The only image
Echoing in his memory
Creating a feeling
Like raising fingerprints
Caressing his skin
Your breathy words in his ear
The passion you’ve shared
For what you love
What you cherish
And everything else
That he believes is there
But your voice haunts
And taking a bit of him
Of his heart
Of his dreams
A bit here
And a bit there
Leaving him powerless
To stop the erosion
Of the rocks he has placed
In the sand
On the shore
Guarding like a sentry
What he once thought
Was safe and secure
But will never be again
Wow hon, just...wow :)
"Leaving him powerless
To stop the erosion
Of the rocks he has placed
In the sand
On the shore"
That is so cool. That was beautifully put.
Your words can sooth and create turmoil at the same time...Your words are change in itself.
It reminds me that I must question what I believe, always look further, always search deeper, and be gentle in my quest because change can be terrifying.
I was working on the new bulletin board for the technical project I'm working on until almost 3AM this morning.
I sent the preliminary results of it to... ugh... Brad...
"...it's ok, but I don't see the search functionality you said it would have... can't we put our logo on there... I mean (x-company's) logo..."
Ummm.. perhaps if you look at the menu and.. click.. the... "SEARCH" option....
And if you want some other company's logo on my website.. well, that would be advertising. Let's see how much that will cost... or, maybe I could put my company's logo prominently on their website?
Oh, and.. you're welcome.
Can this guy be any more of a... "manager?"
I know another word...I can't say it because I'm nice, but it ends in "bag."
Let me deal with that fucking prick.
Ahem...I wasn't drunk when I left the previous comment, of course not >.>
Brad is the ultimate stinkybutt poophead. Let's TP his house!!!
Who is Brad? ...I think this is the best example I can offer.
Brad is the new marshal.. and I'm just trying to get my work on Space Station 11 done the best I can...
Oh my God...That's so accurate...
Ahhhh got it ....
does Brad have a beard then ?
No he doesn't... because although it is true you can grow a beard on a space station, it has been proven you cannot grow a beard with your head up your ass all the time...
You don't like this Brad right ?
Its just a feeling I get ...
Brad is evil... everything is Brad's fault.
Right now he has invaded my office and his mere presence has caused untold tragedies.
Namely... the sewer line in my office plugged and everything backed-up through the toilet and wash basin in the basement... I was at the office until the wee-hours of the morning cleaning up the mess.
Roto-Rooter fixed the issue in about 30 minutes this morning... $300.
I wish I could make $600 an hour.
I guess if the trade-off is working on stuff like that, or doing what I do for what I make... I'll stick with my current job.
Regardless... the crap calamity is all Brad's fault. It has to be.
Okay, who in hell is, Brad? ;P
Actually, you yankee "I live above sea level" types...it's BASEMENTS! Basements are evil and spooky. Every scary movie ever made...where are the spooks? You probably have scat-tossing poltergeists in your potties. It's probably their warning, "Geeeeettt Outtttttt!" I bet you thought to yourself, "hmmm...I should go check that out." Classic. You won't find any basements here in New Orleans, and you'll never ever find me in one!
Yup who is Brad again ??? LOL
I HATE Brad...
Brad is Damien .
While walking through 4TH Street Live in Louisville last week...
J: "Ever eat at a Cold Stone Creamery?"
J: "Oh, it's awesome. They have this stone that is chilled to like, -40 degrees, and they pour cream right on it and it freezes instantly!"
Me: "Negative 40 degrees, eh?"
Me: "Is that in celsius or fahrenheit?"
J: "Uh... fahrenheit I guess. Why, are they European?"
I feel my way through the dark
With open hands
Touching the walls
Feeling the bones left hanging
Stripped of all meat and substance
They clatter to be reborn
Hands reach back
To me from the walls as I pass
Grasping through webbed crevices
Always reaching out
Threatening all that come near
Wanting to see the light
If only for a moment
One brief beautiful moment
Not shrouded in dark
Existing in light
I can crawl through this dark
I feel what has been left lying
Strewed upon the floor
Never sorted, never cleaned
There is too much
I take each piece into my hands
I study them
To escape my blindness
Left here to be hidden
It is cold here
My skin shivers as I feel what I cannot see
I must bring light to this world
The horrible past
I take hold of the pieces
And with a fury in heart
I rub them together
The spark of life they need
To see the light again
The pieces create the heat
But only I can breathe unto them the flame
The title is so intriguing, and these lines grabbed me, just like the tale they told, and they held me fast in their grip:
"They clatter to be reborn
Hands reach back
To me from the walls as I pass
Grasping through webbed crevices
Always reaching out
I love when you write, my friend. I really do. You are far better than you believe.
Morri is right, New York City is NOT New York State.
People in New York City generally think Upstate is wasted, rural farmlands that wouldn't survive without all the money New York City "Brings in..."
People in Upstate generally think New York City is no better than a cesspool of people living on top of each other and our taxes wouldn't be half as much if we didn't have to support all the extra social programs they require just to keep the city from spiraling into a vortex of filth and violence.
I think Joli's story speaks volumes to the differences. You would be hard pressed to see that kind of behavior in New York outside of New York City.
Of course I bag on the south. It's just an easy target and yes, a completely different environment than what I grew up and currently live in. It's strange to be there, interacting with the people. It is a lot different. And I have to go there... quite often.
But then again I've always said the deep south really starts in south-central New York... ever been there?
Oh, and I do poke fun at or bitch about New York just as much. Common', our governor just got the boot for spending thousands of dollars... money he LAUNDERED... on prostitutes!
This was the guy who was supposed to turn the politics of New York towards a better direction... and he turned out to be... just.. one of them too.
I guess the only thing I can say in his defense is... at least he wasn't thumping a bible while doing it.
And, Jo... of all the places I've been to in the United States, Louisiana is not one of them. So you won't see me take shots at sunny LA... at least not until I've experienced it for myself.
Maybe it's time for a visit... hmmm...
I think the attitude difference between where I live and the "south" can be summed up nicely in a conversation I had while working with a service tech in Alaska, who resides in North Carolina...
Me: "So, J, where do you live anyway? Charlotte?"
J: "Oh heck no. Charlotte is a dirty, violent, crime filled city... I hate it."
Me: "Dirty? Violent? Crime filled.. ahhh.. the good ol' south..."
J: "Hey! That's not the south. Where I live is the real south and it's not like that! If you ever said that where I live, they'd shoot yer ass."
...yes... because after all, shooting someone isn't a violent crime if you've made a derogatory comment about where they live...
There's violence and dirtiness here, too; but there's a slow, warm culture that is like no other place in the US I have ever visited. You have to see New Orleans with someone who knows her and loves her the way I do, realistically and idealistically. My home.
Sitting here waiting for the battery in my other laptop to charge so I can finish up the day... a family waiting area, the tv is on... there was just a commercial... more of a public service announcement... that if your high-speed wireless at home stops working, you should unplug your router and plug it back in.
No.. I'm not kidding.
A full 30 seconds dedicated to... don't get angry, just unplug your router, and plug it back in.
No, this isn't obvious to everyone, but... yeah... what's next? Commecials explaining how to reboot Windows? How about instructions on how to change the ink cartridges in your printer?
If your car runs out of gas... don't panic, just put more in...
Kind of reminds me of Virginia's ad campaign a few years back urging residence to NOT have sex with 12-14 year old girls.
Ahhh.. the south. Did they ever really fully rejoin the United States?
Well this entire entry would be made better if you were naked.
Now to get naked, don't get angry, simply take your clothes off.
Yes, you're so right about the south. We are so backward.
You know, I was fortunate enough to visit the large city in your state where I learned about your return policies in retail establishments. A gentleman tried to return a watch he'd just bought because it wasn't working properly. He had the receipt. The proprietor assured him with a baseball bat that the watch was just fine. When the customer began to protest, the proprietor swung and the customer reconsidered and decided to keep the merchandise after all. Eye-opening for a bumpkin southerner like me.
The common misconception is that the state is the same as the city. They couldn't possibly be further apart. In fact I think we should dislodge the city and send it out to sea.
I want to know what's with all the family mullets and rat tails...both men and women. And the people that drop trou in the clothing departments and shit under the clothing racks. And the term buggy instead of cart. And pop instead of soda. And spelling wednesday 'wensday'. And "put it up" instead of "put it away".
FRIGGIN SOUTHERNERS!!!!! hehe, and I'm only in West Virginia...only part of the 50 because it wanted to be northern...and failed miserably.
What is up with so many people using the word "fuck" over and over again in their journals tonight?
Good gawd people.. take a breather and grab a thesaurus.
I received a letter in the mail today. It looked personal rather than something business oriented. So much of my mail is junk - credit card offers, verizon ads, bills... getting something that looks hand written and personalized always catches my eye.
Especially when the return address was from Memphis. Now, I have friends and business associates in the Memphis area, but why would one of them out of the blue just send me a letter?
Ignoring all the other mail, including a check I had been waiting for, I opened this letter first.
It was from a former employer; the owner of the company I worked for before I opened my own business.
David was a friend. Well, still is. We just haven't talked much since he had to close his business and rebuild his life. He hired me in the fall of 2001, shortly after 9/11 to help him with a project. After the project was over he wanted my help in boosting sales for his company. Things weren't going well for him - tightening contracts, debt and then the slump in the technology market following 9/11. He was hoping my sales experience and the clients and contacts I had on my side would help him dig out of the hole his company was in...
...unfortunately it was too little, too late. One Monday morning in April 2002, he called me and told me he had to close up shop.
It was abrupt. It was hurried. He left a lot of loose ends hanging and really had to go into hiding for a while from his employees... and former employees, going after him for monies owed.
He left owing me over $3000.
Business isn't personal, and I hold no grudges.
His letter surprised me. Even more surprising was, enclosed with the letter, was a check. Not a lot... not what he owed me. It felt more like a thank you, and an attempt to make amends somehow.
At least, that is the feeling I got from it.
The letter caused me to do a little self-reflection and I found myself lost in thought after reading it. I know things haven't been easy for him the last six years. He has had to rebuild his life and move in a different direction. He relocated to Memphis and went back to school... and still, years later he hasn't forgotten the debts he owed.
No phone call.. no email...
...just this letter, wishing me well. Hoping things are going good for me.
And a check.
I look at this... in life... as one of those... "it comes around moments."
Even though it's been years since we've spoke, I think he knows now, as he did then, I hold no ill regard toward what happened. I knew his situation when I signed on... it happens.
And as I run my business... just as I always have been in life... I give. I give of myself, and I try to share my good fortune in life as much as I can.
I guess that is one of the reasons I do work so hard... I want this business to be successful. I want to leave something for my children to grow and succeed with.
Even more though, I want to leave my mark on the world in this way.
To build a business that is successful and gives back to those who need it.
Kind of like Robin Hood.... except no stealing, no tights and we actually provide good services!
Until I get to the point that my finances allow me to give as much as I want... I will still give what I can.
It's just who I am.
And hopefully that good "Karma" will keep.. comin' round.
....I see a trip to Memphis in my future.
You are a very generous person, and you don't do what you do for selfish reasons. I hope people see that and return the same to you.
The work you do is so impressive...So is the amount of time you put into what you do, you're always willing to go those extra few hundred miles just so something gets done right.
You have a lot to juggle and take care of, and you handle stress ten times better than I know I ever will heh.
In general, you're just one awesome dude. Now get to bed!
Just one of the many reasons I am so proud to call you friend. You are an amazing person.
Well that is simply awesome!
I do hope you make it out to see him, but I am sure you will...your just an amazing generous person....that never stops giving.
Reading entries like this gives me hope. Hope that people are tending more towards the greater part of themselves that still holds things like honor, integrity and love in high esteem. When I hear of people that do not just blame others to move on, it does the same thing for me.
We can make a difference, we can be the change we want to see in the world.
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