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Had any one wanted you to change the way you are because they think that you will be better off being someone else???, somethin les??? something that you are not???
Well my mom wants me to change everything.. that i am.. the way that i think..the way i am.. the way i dress....
She think i'll bebetter off being a cheerleader or somethin...but i told her off and now she is mad at me... so what would you do???
Would you let your mother control your way of living?? or Would you rather be your self and let your mom hates you for being you???
I already made my choice ..
i rather let my mom hate me for who i am they let her love my for i'm not...

Same with my girlfriend.. Her father wants her to be "the perfect daughter". But she's not.. That's one of the reasons why he doesn't like me, i'm not the perfect guy for his perfect daughter.
He wants her to come home with some prep.. Hell, I'm not.. And she isn't either.. He has to live with it, we are not going to change for him.. Problem is, he does everything he can to prevent her from seeïng me.. And well, that kinda sux.. Duh.. Ah well, we'll life..

Just be who you want to be, not who others want you to be :)

Don't let me get me-Pink
Sums it all up 4 me I alwayz wanna cahnge and be some one else but at the same time I'm proud of who I am lol I am a walking contradiction

I am not getting into contact with these situations...at least not often, and IF then its just something simple and silly for me....for e.g. my mum wants me to wear more colours, like pink and yellow...what I really hate! u know what I mean.
But personally I am satisfyied...almost totally
*winks*

you love yourself? then to hell with what others say, but you should not have had told off your mom it could only make matters worst. explain your love for your fashion and if she cannot comprehend this then just let your mom know that you love her *if you do* and let her know that you will never change because your cloth change. Good luk poppet

Simpleslydead, I know how you feel. My parents and I used to always fight about how I dressed, who my friends are, how I even thought. Then I got married (I didn't give my parents but a week's notice about my wedding) and they realized that I am an adult... that they aren't going to change me.
When your mum tries to tell you or get you to change, just tell her no. You are who you are and she should love you no matter what. Don't go off on her or anything, just explain to her that you are happy and she should be too cause you are. Good luck!

people just need to learn to deal with things... rather than challenge things all the time...

I think we all go through this.

My stepdad met my mother when I was ten. All was OK until I became a teenager, and then every little thing I did was wrong, and he told me that I was going to 'grow up wrong'if I didnt change this 'list' of htings he's noted.

Its confidence. Of course we would all like to be a bit more or somehting and a bit less somehting else, but we need to appreciate ourselves and be able to see that we are only who we are.

Echo x

Be yourself. But if you do want to make some adjustments, make sure it's because you want to and not someone else....

dont change for anyone but yourself
if u want to change then do it cause u want to not cause someone else wants u to.

if ur happy with the way u r then thats fine, its u who has to live with it, not anyone else

Your mother cannot hate you, she is a bit confused, she must accept you the way you are... You should talk to her about this.
But anyway, Do not EVER change because others! You'll lose 'yourself' :P

And once again I'm saying
>> It's better to be hated for what you are, than to be loved for something you are not!!!

I always believed that you are who you are, and that's what makes everyone special in their own way. Shouln't have to change who you are just to make someone else happy.

Just be yourself. If your mother really luvs you she will accept you. It just sometimes takes time.

I went through this when I was younger. I used to comb my hair in front of my face. One day, my mom asked me to pull my hair back, just for one day. I didn't want to. I was like "You should love me no matter what my hair looks like". But, I did. And, you know something, I was noticed more. And, I looked in that mirror, and realized that there was really someone beautiful there.

Be yourself, but don't be afraid to try something new, even for a day. You might be surprised of the outcome.

:laughing: Well I have changed damn near everything about myself quite literally and legally of late
Only thing that stays the same is who you are deep down and the insanity you draw from

yes i would let them hate me for who i am not for who they want me to be....i would as my mom do u want me to be true to my self or lie to myself...u always told me not to lie.....and someother words....i would ahve done the same ur mom will get over it soon as u do something else

yeah people want me to change all the time but i dont. if you want to change, change for yourself and no one else. but yeah just be who you are. people have no right to change you.

don't change for nobody...not even your mom....she's your mom she can't HATE you!!

My parents went through a huge phase of trying to get me to be like them. Church goers, it got so bad i was not allowed to go out with them in public. It pished me away from my family.

But after a while when they realised i was not going to change for anyone, not even them, they accepted me for who i was on the inside. Thats why it pisses me off when people put other people in catagorys!! Grr, its whats on the inside that really matters. Dont let anyone try and change you, be proud, chin up and hold yourself proud!

everyone wants something to change. It's best to work with eachother to even things out. Sometimes parents are right because they have lived life. Many times they are wrong because they're trying to live YOURS. It's up to you whatever your age is.

Yeah i think it reflects on parents backgrounds to. Like they want you to be the child they were not, the good one, do everything right. Its weird, just to show their parents they can do something right.

to change for someone is wrong to change for yourself that is up to you we are all faced with choices and differant paths its up to us ,,,not someone else

Seek the middle ground in my opinion, it's what I did with my mom. There must exists some kind off reasoning behind her desire for you to change so much. Hopefully it is becuase she is worried about and doesn't want you ending up in an unsavory situation. Telling her off is not the way to go about this, just creates further negative energy making the problem worse.

dear Hanzi13 i think i was upset becuase she did it before she took all my clothes and thwro them away without askin me so i guess i had my reasons to be a little pissed off about it..and sometime isour mechanism.. when we get yeld at we tend to get mad but thanks for the advice i shall take it. and i'll try to talk with my mom about it instead of bitchin at her...

Yeah you had good reasons all right, i'd have done the same.

okay bear with me here. You got to change your clothes in order to launder them. lol ::giggling:: I thought I would try laughter since it came to me first.

but seriously, this is a no brainer. Change is something you can only do for yourself or you won't be happy. Your parents should love you just the same no matter what you wear or what music you listen to. I am the cool parent in that I allowed my son to wear what he wanted, but he bought and paid for it himself. It is his way of expressing himself and chances are that he will outgrow the types of clothes or not dress inappropriately in public as long as I allow him to dress how he wants when he goes out with his friends. By inappropriately, I mean that if I told him he was not allowed to wear somethng or a type of fashion, then chances are he would not only wear that to be defiant but would possibly take it one step further. I hope that makes sense. I am sorry I rant on.

Let me just add: This is one thing that seems to ruin a lot of friendships and relationships as well. If you loved the person at some point then you just cannot make them into something else later on to suit your needs because then they have changed for the wrong reasons and you will not love them anymore. Live and let live. Parents expecting their children to be something they aren't is more an act of trying to get you to improve yourself so that you will have a better life. Your parents are maybe just worried about you and the path you are heading, but they should not expect you to change into something you aren't before you are ready to grow in any other direction.

Yes all the time and everyone.I always get strange looks from people cause of my style.A lot ask me why do I dress like this and mum thinks am some evil weirdo or something.She also calls me whore because I wear studs and that am going to get pregnant at young age.Wow! I didn't know that with studs someone can get preg!Wow I learned a new thing!(am being sarcastic)She's always complaining about my style and that ppl talk behind my back.But if I am happy like this why do I have to change for others?And why ppl judge others by their looks?I have to deal with narrow minded ppl 24/7 so I know what all this is about.

and I forgot to add: not always by talking can solve things.I talked with mum she just doesn't want to understand.She is too brainwashed and narrow minded to listen.The good results come out only if the person has the ability to listen.

very true. I try to never judge a book by its cover. But rude people who may dress differently or like the white collar world or whatever are rude people and very rarely get a second chance with me. I hate it when people go out of their way to be rude to strangers. But, listening is a two way street, you're right. I guess some parents cannot remember what it was like to be young and uncomfortable being someone you aren't.

I wish I could teach all parents to be as cool and open-minded as me....what a wonderful world that would be....

hehe that would be cool:)

I shall call it Cool Parenting 101...hmmm and the follow up course would be Open mindedness in parenting with an elective course on todays fashions....yeah, I could see that....sorry for getting off topic again. I am soooooooo bad!

I wouldnt change just try the old sit down and talk thing with who ever wants me to change

the decision to change should come from within... because you want to change-- not because someone else wants you to be someone you are not. At the end of the day, the only person that needs to be appeased with who you are is you Everyone else needs to either accept who you choose to be, or go on about their life and ignore this person they choose to not acknowledge.

in the end, it is their loss.

♥

I think Deity summed it up quite nice.

SimpLesLyDeAd i give you "MAD PROPS YO"... i would have done the samething that you did... I would rather be hated by all and love who i am then be loved by all and hate who i am

I agree perfectly with kane

To quote the Prince...

"ahh teenage angst"

I love it!

and ah to be young again and have only that to worry about.....hmmm the good old days.

if you like the way you are, stay that way. why change for people that wouldnt change for you? plus whos to say what is "normal " or not. my parents dont agree of some things in my life but ya know what its my life. if ur not doing anything wrong than so what? do what you have to do to be happy. there are people who will see you for who you are.

if u want to stay the way u r, fine! its their problem if they dont like it, if everybody had to change for everyone, there would be no honesty, no thruth...

You all seem to be missing one thing here .. #1 How old are you? You are living under their roof, they have a right to insist that you try to change .. that is a parental right .. HOWEVER ... before I get egged to death ... your best bet is to sit down and talk to them, show them that you can have an adult like conversation. Yelling and screaming is not showing them that you can act as an adult, if you can show them you can be mature about things, you will see that they will back off some and be more willing to find a common ground with you, a compromise, such as .. if there are places that you are to go with them that require more of a formal, more decent attire, then for their sakes, you tone down what you wear when you go out with them. Where as if you are out with your friends, or going places that don't require anything special then you wear what you would like. But the only way to fix the communication, is to talk to them calmly in a mature attitude, and work out a compromise