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This is a question I am bringing up for one reason. I have a good friend, a childhood friend and she met a man who is 15 years older then her. They are together and dating, now here is the question and I want you to think about it.

Because of this age difference do you feel that this relationship can work?

* Remember a generation apart.
* Culture.
* Two different eras of time growing up.
* Both divorced.

since i don't know the people... i can't say

it is possible they may get along fine though

I dont think that the age difference alone is a reason why it couldnt work.

I've dated much older guys...and while it's never "worked out" for me...neither has dating guys my own age
I think that there can be advantages to relationships between older guys and younger women. They can actually stand a better chance at being on a level playing field in terms of what they want out of the relationship...

I think that since they're both divorced, it could stand an even better chance because they could be equal in regards to romantic experience...One of the biggest problems that I've seen coming from age differences in relationships is that the older person is more jaded and that can get in the way.

At any rate..obviously I can't say whether or not it will work out, but I know a few married couples with 10 or more years of difference between them and age doesn't seem to be a problem

Depends on how old she is, i mean if she's only 15 or so and he's 30+ well i see that as borderline pedophile.... I don't see how someone 30+ can have the same interests as someone half their age. Simple as... it is a perversion!

Gorey knowing them is not the issue, the issue is the age between the two people and can this be a factor of success or failure.

If I met a woman that is 21 years old can we relate with each other, our friends, our ideas, our families. I am in my late 30's thirties.

Lets use the example of 21 years and above. The child issue was not meant to be used in this.

Let me recant that. I do not mean anyone under the age of 21 to be a child.

It is possible to work out for them. I dated someone that was 11 years older then me for what about 3 years. My little sister is in the same position your friend is DA .... my little sister is 23 and she's getting married in August to a man thats 38 (and has 2 kids .. oldest is 10 years younger then her) She's Quiet happy in her relationship with him!

yea i don't know the ppl so i couldn't really say, but ever since i was like 14 i've been attracted to older ppl (not old wrinkly ppl) and i made it work out, but it all depends on the ppl i think it could really work though. i don't think age should ever seperate ppl who love or care about eachother. If 2 ppl have a huge age difference but really care about eachother, i definetly think it can work, they just have to make it work.

My step g-parents have a 20 yr age seperation and they got married, and have a great marriage, and realationship. =)

It matters to an extent... what the hell does a 60 yr old and 20 yr old have in common? they're at totally different stages in their life and both have different goals.. the 20 yr old's goals could be children or a career... the 60 yr old has already passed that stage in life, and thier goal might be to stay alive another day.. Perfect example, Anna Nicole Smith.

Bahh if ya SEE a 60 year old and 20 year old together you know for DAMN sure what thats all about!!!
Bragging rights ... from EITHER side really lol

I guess it doesn't matter.If they can get along yes why not.Then again depends on the personality and goals.Even people with the same age doesn't mean their relationship is going to last, so the break up of a relationship can't be age,it is more on mentality,goals,personality etc etc...

flat out?

NO!

Age matters if they are13 and 20, not if they are both adults.

LadyLuvCat:

Please read the responses before answering. I said use the example of 21 not 13.

Tarquin:

No is an answer but what supports you answer.

Ok, D.A., sorry, I thought this was just a yes or no question...ok...

Age DOES NOT, matter, why? Why should it matter? I mean, if someone goes out half of their age, it's THEIR choice, people don't have anything to do about it!

So, if I go out with someone half my age, it's MY choice, NO one has to do anything about it!

=)

No age does not matter as long as the are both adults and happy let them be.

I don't think that the age difference really matters... I'm a believer in the saying 'opposites attract'. They may not really be opposites, but being far apart in age, they probably have many different veiws, and things to look back on. This could cause for a very good relationship when it comes to conversation. Well, this could just be me. I don't know about anyone else, but there's my point of veiw. ^_^ Best Regards!~

About a year ago, I was engaged to a man 10 years my senior.

Sometimes it was difficult, because we had different commitments (I was at college, he had a full time job and tyring to get a mortgage on a house!)

However, that often complimented things.

Im not the most sensible of people, and seeing his life often calmed me down, and made me realise that Im not going to be a teenager forever, and he in turn started going out more and not being as worried about everything.

I know I sound like Im stereotyping an age gap, but in my experience that was what happened. As Gorey said, it often depends on the couple, but we where lucky in that we had very similar tastes, and went to the same places.

You know what the real problem is with these relationships? The poeple outside them...

He had a group of friends, who used to treat me like a child. His best friend for example, used to joke about whether they had play-parks at the pubs we went to. Sometimes it was funny, but most the time I could sence that I was being made a fool of, and patronised. Some of my friends also kept away from him,called him a pervert (although I was seventeen and he was twenty seven... which I dont think any sensible people could call perversion) and used to treat him like he didnt belong in clubs etc, which upset us both.

The relationship didnt work out, because of one important point that this argument is missing...

although he was ten years older than me, does that really make him more mature? NO. NO it doesn't. In fact, I was more mature than he was :-) and often had to keep a grown man in check.

A relationship is a relationship. Its the people, and aren't we always going on about "Your as young as you feel?" and wotnot....

the age between the two shouldnt matter but in some cases its the thing that seperates them...then again i dont know the people so i cant really say

Every time I post a reply or make a thread, I get complained to by somebody. *sigh*

Hmmm, well my real father married a woman 30+ years younger than himself!! They have a super marriage and I am very happy for them both :)

I guess it depends what age group they are in. If it is a girl who is 15 and the guy is 30, I think that is a problem since girls are fragile at that age. If it is 30 and 45, I dont think it would cause that big of a problem, unless there personalities are different or something.

Echo has a good point.
Life stage is way more important than 'age'
I was dating a guy who was 13 years older...and we got along beautifully when the relationship was casual, but he was divorced and began to be looking for a serious relationship and he also had a 10-year-old daughter. Whereas I was 19, not ready to settle down, and a more than a little scared of having to act as a mother-figure to a girl who was closer in age to me than her father was...

If your friend and her beau are getting along well and are of similar mindset in what they want from the relationship, it should be fine :-)

If they are both mature enough which i think they have experience a lot in the world already then the age difference doesn't matter althought society does frown upon it but when it comes to love it doesnt really matter. the only time i agree with what society says is when it comes to a minor/adult relation and that is because of the minors lack of understanding which at time the minor does understand and if there is no force i probly would look the other way.

age should not be a factor if they are as you say over 21 they are adults, inwhich both should know what they want out of life..not knowing either of them, is hard to say but maybe you should talk to your friend and ask how they feel. and if its a true friend suppoet that person as a true friend would

i suppose it could work

anything is possibe

i think that i does because theres the time gap but but but but girls mature alot faster then guys and if u date a guy that is older than u then u might might might might might be able to get a guy that is on the same level as u but hey u never know i probly wouldnt date anyone that much older but its the girl not the guy she could mabye trying to get back at somone but im not her

Age doesn’t matter, TO A POINT, after you reach that fine line then yes it matters very much, ex: If you have a generation gap there then neither of them is going to be interested in any of what the other is saying, I am not saying that generation gap loves don’t happen but it would be rather hard.
I don’t date guys 5 years my senior because of the fact that I don’t feel we would have much in common.
I do agree with the fact of girls mature faster than guys but guys also tend to relate back to their teens when they reach they’re 30 to there 40's.
My father is married to a woman that is 12 years his junior, I hate my father any way so who cares? Now that they have a child together they are beginning to see their differences. >; )

i dont think age matters at all... if two people care about each other enough to over look an age gap then so what?as long as they are happy and treat each other the right way.my parents are 10years apart... together 27years later with 3kids... plus the fact my father was born in europe...

point is ,it still can work if you want it to.

In my opinion, I don't think age matters that much. If two people care about each other and begin dating then they have obviously managed to work through the differences in their age gap concerning music, the times, and what not. Some times two people of varying different ages come together because subconsciously, the younger person in the relationship helps to make the older person, fell younger and vice versa. So long as neither is uncomfortable with the other, and they are ready to handle what ever criticisms others may cast their way (not that it should matter what someone else thinks) then the couple should be left alone in their happiness.

Grrrrr dang type-o

fell = feel

it could go either way if you think of it but if they seem happy then it will most likely be a good thing...

I would say no, just beacause so many reason......
but could be possible for some time.

Age does matter. People can say this or that. It all depends on the situation and yes it does matter is they are 14 and the person is 24.

What if it was the other way around?

Does that apply to both male and female.

14 year old female and 24 year old male. 24 year old female and 14 year old male.


I've dated men much older than my self. 8-10 years older. They haven't worked out not because of a culture gap or being married or divorced.

People of all era's are cultured different ways but not subjected to closed doors and exploring other things that they would like.

So people are mature, some aren't.

My goodness my nephew is 14. I know a boy who is 14 and tried to act older he ends up just looking like a goofy, lanky kid who's trying to put moves on someone but just looks too young and is a freshman in highschool.

Glowering you touched one something that hasn't been mentioned here . . but first I wanted to address that yes if you are talking about any one male or female under the age of 18 in the states at least you have all the statuary laws, but as Dark Admin stated he is meaning of 21 and older. in that case then they don't apply

Now what you did touch on is the male versus female aspect .. it seems that if you look about in society ... it is more acceptable for an older man to go out with a younger woman ... when you get to where it's 10, 15, 20 years older, then he is looked at as only dating the person because they are a trophy. Now when you turn the table and you are the woman who is older dating the younger male she is looked upon as being a slut, or a cradle robber or worse.

I honestly don't think that is should matter what others say or think about a couples ages in their relationship, but it seems the society in general will look down upon a couple if they are of a sizeable age difference.

And when i say society in general I am not talking about the views expressed here in

Age will and Wont matter in this situation, they might have a really nice relationship but once in a while they will have their differences like everbody else. the only difference is the way they will handle every and each problem that will have to face. i say this cuz my dad its 20 yrs old than my mom and they have like 40 yrs now together as a couple.
~viu~

I agree with you Dami

You'll think te same way if you're 15 or 50 that doesn't change.
What matters is if you're completely sure that this person is "The One" for you.
The rest is just nonsense

It does ..It Doesn't....Yes some work and others do not. All good points and some great examples. I made of this topic for two reasons. 1) It is a true story and I wanted peoples opinion. 2) To make you think and debate it.

Good subject to debate.
As long as both parties are happy with each other age doesn't matter

I love this debate!

=)

hi here,so-my ex was 16 years older and from other country,my boyfirend now is 9 years older and from other country and it works perfectly between us!!!sometimes i got the feeling that i am 28 and he is 19:-)))its just up to the personality,character and-everything is possible:-)))

ye dami, you're more than right.Aand it is for the opposite.If a 20 yr old girl dates someone 10 yrs older or more than she is labeled as a slut who istdating that person for money.And not only women are called sluts about the age thing but in everything that they do,womwn are always seen as sluts etc...but that's another subject

i dont think that age matters at all if you meet somebody you have a connection with wether it JUST be a FRIENDSHIP or it be a relationship as dating you cant help that conection its there and will be there no matter what you do so no i dont think it matters at all

well...I have always liked older men, BUT I would never date any one 10 years or more older then me unless that person is very Special to me.

all depands, this person might like people much older than her, it may or may not work, I'm 27 and I've dated a 40 year old, and didn't work, this question is really in the air, age doen't matter because, if you really like the person give it a shot, who knows what could happen.

nooo...I dont think sooo... I pretty much always go out w older ppl... theyve usually been through every trauma i can throw at them and help me find a way to fix it, and they are so proud of having a girl so much younger than them....it all balances out. more power to those who seek true love whether or not it be in the typical steriotypical age or not. every one has their right to be happy. No matter an age.

grrr..... parents!
but I don't agree with you.If a person is 21 or older no one has the right to tell her who to date.And if it is probihated they still would see each other secretly.

i matters on how u think about it um if ur a parent then hell ya its bad but if ur not then y should u care its up to that person

I think it could reason being is what is age it's a number I understand there is a diff between the two of them but if they truly love one another than the two of them can make it work.. Now as for the divorce what happens in your past is the past you have to learn from somewhere and someone if children came out of it then they will and can learn to love one anothers child.. Anything is possible dont let things pass you by and then wonder later on " Wow I wonder what might have been"

I want to add:Never judge someone by the age,some ppl are in their 30's and still babish, some are 20 and mature so that's another reason why it depends...

no age dosn't matter as long ask like what was said 13 and 20 thats just wrong as long as the guy isn't old enough to be her father

oh ye altough a 13 yr old can be maturer than her age that doesn't mean she can date 20+ yr olds or a 20 yr old dating a 40+ yr old man.

well in my experience with older men i would warn againest dating fifteen years older becasue they might want to much of you. I have dated a guy who was eight years older than i was and he never treated me right from the start so i would fore warn her. I would say find a guy at least five years older than you.

As far as the older gal, younger guy thing...
I can see some big advantages to that as well..but not for me yet. I mean technically it seems like it should be the way to go, since a woman hits her sexual prime later in life, and since men tend to die earlier...

But it hasn't worked out for me yet. I've never been able to get into guys age 18-22 for more than a fling, even when I was 18-22...so I'll have to wait until I'm a bit older. Maybe when I'm 35 or so, I'll have a better chance with that situation :-)

hmmmm-thinks-
i think it would depend on their feelings,
from they way i look at it,it could work.
Just depends on them.
i'm not in their head..lol...idk

well, even with all the laws in the us with younger than 18 they law will do nothing if the to people agree...i went down this road, and have seen many case in school.pre law...it all comes down to the people involved..and of course where you live some states are tougher than others

I dont think that age matters. Most of the people I have been with have been older than Me. I grew up always around adults and most of My friends are atleast 3-4 yrs older than Me.

Relationships are give and take. If they have what it takes to be on both ends of it, then it could work out for them.

In My opinion love doesnt see a race, gender, or age (ofcourse excluding pedophillia). Love is a connection between two people.

just My two cents..
-Athena

Some of you speak of a few years apart maybe 3-5 years. I do not consider this a very big gap in age I think of that being normal. Again lets start at the age of 21 and a gap of 10-15 year.

I have to buy into this debate......

While I prefer that my man be older than me *hint hint DA*

I believe due to circumstane, it is better if teh woman is a good ten years older than her mate.

The reason why? Men die first and younger

Sorry to be so blunt

Women get left on their own for a very long time, it would be better if the date of finality where closer... therefore would be ideal if my mate where 10 years my junior *winks at darkreaper*

But I can't help being old fashion.. give me a man my senior any day

And to answer your question my sweet.... 15 years is no big a deal, if she is happy to settle and he is in good health... I just hope she won't end up looking after a vegetable when she is in the prime of her life....

Of did I read this all wrong, and DA are you dating a 12 year olds????

Moreish....Ummmmm.No!

No, I don't think it does when it comes to vamps. But when it comes to relationships, then yes. But when it comes to vamps, it becomes a morale issue. To me, I think all ages are allowed.

I honestly don't think age matters, after a certain age. Say you are 21 and you date a 45 year old man. It's not gonna work. My grandparent had a 17 year age gap and their marriage turned out just fine. BUT they were older

It depends. Like i have a friend who is 17, and she was dating this guy who was 37. Sometimes it doesn't seem right, but it really depends on what kind of person it is. If the older one Has alot of experience and is mature and the person there dating is just a teenager who has barely any experience, and is not mature, then they shouldn't date. But if they really love each other and there maturity level is the same, the age does not matter. My opinion most of the time is no, it doesn't matter. I mean,ive dated guys that were alot older than me before.

I think a great deal of this would have to be whether the 2 individuals are on the same emotional and intellectual level.

For instance, I dated a 28 year old (keep in mind I am 18) and he was a total moron. Completely senseless, acted younger than me, yet treated me like a baby, completely narcissistic, treated me like his little trophy-girl armpiece..

Now I am interested in another 28 year old. This one is on my level, and acts his age. He doesn’t treat me like I am 5, I don’t feel like an armpiece, and yeah he can act a little arrogant, but I think I am more of the narcissist here. But in other words, we get along and the age gap doesn’t feel that huge because one isn’t constantly pointing out the other as being so young or old.

No matter the age (except issues of legality, but as you said, this isn’t what we are talking about) I think if the 2 people are the same mental age, then the physical age doesn’t matter to any great extent. And what differences that exist, can be dealt with and worked through and things can infact work out. And in all honesty, I’ve found that I’ve had better relationships with men significantly older than myself, granted they weren’t being too much of a strutting peacock about having a younger woman.

Isn't it fabulous that everyone has an opinion, and the freedom to express that opinion? I like older guys too, and I'd go for you Da but I live too far away heh! hmmm but then this thread was not about you right??

No it's not about me and you have been saying that for years...lol

Vampire Summer School, Dublin July 2005 Da? *nudge nudge* o^O

Time for this to die an early death.....

Just like all old rich men with a strong heart condition should when I marry them...

Ciao ciao

Mistress Moreish