What are your opinions on how one 'Becomes', 'Awakes', 'Turns' or 'Realises' that one is a vampyre?
How do you believe the process works?
I believe that we, all humanity, have the potential for it, but that we require a series of life events to bring our minds to a state capable of comprehending and accepting the nature of us and that we also need a 'Catalsyt' event of sorts, in order to break our mind free of the institutionalised form of understanding the universe and its energies...
i would say that kind of thing is true for a psi vampire but not for a blood it is a bit different
I'd say once you realise you've been draining your neighbors dry... you ought to have woken up to it by then.
>:)
I grew up in a family where the Occult was not a strange subject, so as a child, I never wondered much about it. Being labled as strange or odd, was not a problem, until I was about 12 or 13, and I really started asking my self "what's wrong with me?!" but I guess all kids do at this age. What really 'woke me up' was the death of my father, when I was 14. It was very painful, and I felt really bad because it seemed I could always feel my pain like never before, and guess what: I could feel other people's pain. Maybe I'm exposing my self, but I'll say this for others that are thinking on taking "extra help" not to feel so much, and to avoid them selves and their nature as I tried to do: through heavy drugs. So, I can say that I was pretty numb for about 14 years. Don't do this. It will ruin your life, and it's hard to start over again, and your nature will resuface anyway. Actually, I think mine was never completly asleep, and what drugs did, was nothing but to turn me into a emotional sponge, I kept having a fascination for blood, and numb enough not to think about it. Death of friends, suisside attempts, a seveare depression, and the death of many people in my familly only confused me more, because I wasen't sober, so I couldn't fully understand what was happening to me, and that was very hard to endure. Glad I'm of that sh** now, and I'm glad that I can feel, and I can see who I am, learn about it and acept it because now I'm not afraid anymore.
Wow...a very heartfelt response TearsOfArakiel...thank you for sharing such a personal account with us.
From that, I am assuming that what you are also saying is that, once you become aware, there is no going back, no hiding from the truth of yourself?
yes. I think so. There's no going back, once you realise it. Might as well acept it.
i am not sure how or when, it may start with hating the light.... things like that. i'll only know when the time comes
TearsOfArakiel...this is one of the main issues I have...accepting who I am...It all seems so fantastical and yes, unbelievable...I am a very sekeptical person, but these last few months have opned my eyes...and it is a strange world that I see now...
I still have yet to come to terms with myself, but I am sure that will only be a matter of time...
Yes, Stabb, it is, and it's far from being complete for me. I guess it's a life time process
Hum YOu have a point, but I think it just depends on a certain person....
HatredOfAll...does that mean that you don't know how it might be, or that you are not awakened or that you don't care?
I think it stems from one or two traumatic events in your life, something that really turns your mind's eye inward to discover what you really are. I personally believe that any vamp is probably that way from birth, the awakening is just simply realising that nature and stopping to take ambient energy like a sponge and realising you can control that.
well, I think it a little bit of the I am not awaken n I don't care... Lol plus I didn't really understand what your post meant..
HatredOfAll,
I was basically asking how people 'become' vampyres' is all...
thanks King...care to share your opinion of it?
(go on, theres a brownie in it for ya!)
how does one become a vampyre? thats easy, by being turned as an example
haha! yes,Stabby boy! :P
Well, Anne Rice's theory (or theosophy) she said that man in the midst of crisis would give up everything to save themselves even if it means the damnation of one's soul. (or something like that..sue me if I'm wrong! Hehe!)
I THINK, that we all have something in store for us..either damnation or whatsoever it is..we'll just have to embrace it.
=)
Hm, haha I see. I still don't understand, but that's probably because I only state good post when I feel strongly about something.. But yea I still don't understand.... =
yes, lordvampirio, very good...but through what specific process does this 'turning' take place?
LOL! that was a bit blur for you eh? What I meant is, people would give up anything at all,just to be free from the mundane even if it means the compromising of their souls.
Don't mind the Anne Rice..just a quote.
Ah...I see...so it is like the ultimate escapism for some people?
They desire the idyllic fantasy image of vampyres and so go looking?
And so you've finally got my point! yehey!!..
brownies!!!!!!!!
well dear i think it's all in the spirit of the person. i believe that i was awaken when i was 11. and my magical accult life started. then all my dreams and everything in my life just becomed strange for my self and for the people around me.
And i believe that awakening is like a wish come true...
Amazing! I read TearsOfArakiel's post up there and thought to myself - wtf, has this person been following me around and now claims my story as their own?!
Turning... takes place constantly for me. I notice it best each year when I reflect on events over the past twelve months. Its easier to pinpoint the turning points when you look on it from an impartial angle, instead of trying to analyze every little thing as you're in the middle of the change.
For me its mostly been emotional evolution that leads to 'seeing' the world differently. Under a less glamour filled, distracting light... moonlight even. Detachment sets in as the world isnt quite so unknown. The mysterious hardly bears mystique. Everything is plainly two-dimensional. Sheeple especially.
Which led me to seeking a reason to exist. Sure not giving in to death because you're stubborn or prideful works... but I dont think it would make you any better than those simple beings they call humanity. Besides, my pride puts humanities to shame. Instead, when I was younger I'd look for a moment. The ones that you just cant recreate with money or sex or drugs (though I learned that through trial and error). In doing so I only hastened my slide into the deep blue of perpetual twilight, which had almost left me believing there was nothing else to do except await death.
Then I discovered the brilliance of sharing blood. The life giver. I found that when I could be unselfish enough to spill mine for people, they'd be overjoyed to return the favor and thereby fill me with that which I thought was lacking from the world... a niche. I was born a predator, but a romantic at the same time. Vampirism was only a natural step.
Well, never read Ann Rice, and I love vampires IN FICTION as they are. I don't think I ever found a description that fits me altoghether in psichiatry, but what ever.
Nice to meet you Airaphys.
i dont really know much about this kind of thing........
Hell! That doesn't happen until I drink my thrid cup of Mocha! LOL
TearsOfArakiel, that was a very interesting POV. Thank you for sharing. ~hugs~
Would enyone else be prepared to share their awakening experience with us?
The pleasure is all mine of course, Tears. ~waves and winks~
Well am not a vampire,but I guess the person has to be attracted to these things,since little age.For example I was always attracted to magic and occult and always tought they were fiction...until I met a certain person...So that was sort of an awaiking for me,altough it had nothing to do with vampires.
Okay I can't really focus on what others were saying soo.. I will just state my opinion.. :)
I think that in order to be awakened you have to be ready for it. You have to be at one with yourself and your surroundings. Also if you meet the right person then it can happen... different ways for different people..
I think that everyone here has had a valid point- summed up by countessmoon.
I believe from my experiences that we are encouraged as a society to not be sensitive to energies either our own, others or those around us in nature. If you are- you are shunned or humiliated. What that does to a person depends on the person.
As to being aware, I think that everyone has the potential to feel these energies- if they allow themselves (this can be scary to reach out beyond what you see to what you sense). I do not believe that all are vamps, but that we all run a full spectrum and within that spectrum we will all have different markings. Some of us are born into ours (not changeable) while others develop into the marking they carry (will carry) from the sums of their experiences.
I think the process is different for everyone. Some of us take forever to 'awaken' .. or so it seems. Some of us, once we realize the truth, have a hard time coming to grips with it and finding outlets to explore.
I know within me, is the blossoming bloodlust but I have no true outlets to explore it. I'm not familiar with the community in my location..if there even is one that exists outside fantasy gaming.
But I don't think you have to be meshed with the community to truly learn and grow. I simply need to find a few select people, to help fully open those doors for me and help me along my path.
I've also had those tell me that I am too old for 'awakening'.. that I should have done it years ago. Perhaps the first signs were there years ago, I just didn't realize..but I think you are never too old to 'awaken'.
I got sidetracked..I'll shush now. Lol
well syntheticdarkness i have also dont the same anytime i cut my slef i suck my thumb alot or my hand like i like tha tast so u aint alone :)
Awakening.
I don't address, in a personal manner, these topics in a public forum very often. I simply do not deem it most people's business. Neither do I think most people are capable of addressing or approachimg this or similar issues with respect, intellect and at least a minor suspension of disbelief.
However.
That being said, and the fact that is is your post, Stabb, I choose to respond.
My awakening, as it were, occurred when I was about five. Curiously enough, to me, I "woke," if you will, through dreamings.
My first such, that I recall having confirmation on, regarded an older couple, in their 60's at the time. I dreamt her name was Leola and her head exploded and he had a weathercock (wathervane?) in his hand as he cried himself to death.
I woke terrified from this dream and I went to my father and I told him about it.
I remember he turned a funny color and picked up the phone to call his sister, Olena May.
SHE had just gotten off the phone with Vane, my dad's brother in law, who was married to my dad's sister (with whom he had not spoken in many a year) Leola. Leola had suffered a fatal anuerism earlier in the night.
About 6 months later, Vane passed away.
That moment scared my father fairly badly. It scared me too.
It's been 28 years after that, and I still have issues knowing, for example, the lady in the pink shirt at the Olive Garden is not going to make it past the storm's breaking this evening.
Nothing I can do. Knowing doesn't help. Trying to change things doesn't either.
Makes being able to accept the energy of another seem almost ... simple ... in comparison, but that reared its odd little head around the same time.
Was this what you were looking for?
As for how do I belive the process works? I honestly haven't a concrete idea.
It could be the spirits own little egg timer saying, "DING! Soft boiled!"
It could be trauma releasing barriers which normally remain firm on one's mind.
It could be one's own will lowering those same barriers.
It could be all of those or none of those. I don't have a well thought answer regarding a definitive cause or facilitator for awakenings.
the human mind is capable of more the we realise and it takes certain events to trigger that door to open and allow us to reach our true potiential. I dont think people are "made" to be what they are, but more that they are triggered into what they are suppose to be. You have it in you, you just have to be given the push in the right direction and some dont become what they are ment to be until later on iin life, whereas others are awakened at at younger age.
Isn't the human imagination wonderful...it lets us escape reality....
with me it was always just something I knew on a very basic level. I don't believe I woke up one day and went WOW Im a vampire...it was always just there, like my freckles, my green eyes, and my being taller than everybody else...lol
How I awoke was very intresting actually. You see, when I was younger, I would always root for the bad guys of pretty much every show (still do) there was on television. I have come to the conclusion that darkness, more so evil is in the pit of my soul and it influences everything I am (from musical interest to what clothes to wear) and it seemingly had morphed itself into (or just manifested as) my vampirism.
Everyday and each night I learn more and more of exactly the extent of the darkness and my vampirism. It will probably be a life long journey.
I have never awoken in the vampire sense but as far as my fascination with the occult in general it was after my maw maw (I know I'm country) died when I was very young I was extremely removed from the outside world and prefered learning of life's dark mysteries.
As long as you want to hear personal experiences, I'll share mine.
I have always been a blood drinker.. there was no awakening there... I have done it since i cut teeth... however more recently.. i was in touch with someone who has helped to explain to me the strange feelings that I have had as premonitions, intense emotions, dreams etc... the list is very long.. however my point is .. this person helped me to realize that this was basically another part of my brain trying to wake up and this is how it was expressing itself.. I suppose for me this was my "awakening" to the true psy area of my vampirism... I suppose it is different for everyone.. it may come due to a traumatic event, or it could be as easy as a realization.. i think it comes differently to everyone.. and once you become aware, you also become more intune to other changes within yourself, and that is how you grow and adapt to your new life.