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One thing I find extremely hard is locating individuals to share common interests with. Not just ordinary common interests, but very personal interests, VR style interests. Things more of a dark nature.

my question is how do we all determine who is worthy of sharing such interests with?

Well one way to do is just put it out there. Say that these things are what interest me, do you like them too? I know it sounds childish but it's just my opinion.

Forum threads are a good start.
Paying close attention to profiles is also a good way to make freinds with they same interests, as well as looking at members journals.

Unfortunately there is no way to classify profiles according to likes and dislikes. As far as finding people who have the personality that you enjoy would be to go through the profiles and read them to see if any think the way that you do or to see if you have any common interests with.

With the new Love Me section of the main forums I would suggest posting something in there to see if anyone responds.

I think I understand what you mean. Outside of VR itself, interacting with people in our lives, yes, it is very difficult to encounter anyone who shares this type of interest. I live in the Southern Bible belt...so I am not going to find very many people at all who share my interests, much less accept mine! So, I have determined that I am not going to share that with very many people outside of this site.

VF,
You do understand. I also live in a bible belt, and, very close to a capital city so just like you said, it is very hard to find somebody in my area who is similar to myself.

*smiles* I find this site very fulfilling and comforting my need to be around others who share my interests. It's like I am free (allowed) to be myself and it is okay, I won't be admonished for it.

Its really not about "who is worthy", its more about knowing the individual for a period of time that you feel comfortable sharing things with.

This once again could have been common sense. I think society takes things a bit too seriously at times and read way to much into things. Too many childish adults worrying about what others may think of them and such.

Wow, I butchered that post, lol. let me try again.


I wish I could say that I did not take offense to that, Soul.

Thank you Roma, you were correct, Threads ARE a good way to meet people, or hear from people, and learn that you would rather not meet them. It has already worked, lol.

It is interesting, because I feel that people have varying motives and criteria for those they associate with.

I have very clear ideas of what I want from those I interact with, I look for specific things in people.
Some people call this snobby, I myself tend to name it "selective"...(whatever) But this is just the way I am.

It is not so much a personal insult to anyone, but as I stated...I have very specific reasons in mind. I am not really one for shooting the proverbial shit, I would rather discuss things of interest...(and yes, hopefully interesting to both parties involved.)

Profiles are a good start, but not always the introduction...forums are a good way to introduce, and allows the reader know a bit more about your thought content.
Hidden messages and obscure references are also handy to spot those of like mind...

Just be who you are and don't let people pull your leg. We have a little of every thing here. ;D

Whoever you would teach would have to be loyal, trustworthy, altruistic, and stuff like that. They would not be the type to abuse the knowledge, or brag, or use it to harm others. they could not be greedy or power hungry either. They should be good listeners, and have maturity and patience.
there is a long list I would use. But that is a good start.

i a me immutable and will not change i try to explain who i am in my profile and in my journals they are out there and you will find them

Similar to yourself? What, you mean a poor excuse for a child who just wishes to be accepted by their peers and therefore must write seemingly intellectual posts when in the truth of it, they are simply trying to fit in to a society that may have outcasted them for a reason, or just chooses not to fit into that society because they are trying to be someone else mayhaps?

Once the individual starts participating in life and being who they are, they would not think about such life issues. These things are really unimportant in the real world. No one cares about the next person, since society is simply wishing to look out for number one and waiting on the price of their next bill or two.

The way you write is a sure sign of what lack of social skills that you may have, and therefore are judged accordingly. Society does not accept roleplayers, nor those individuals who try to act smarter then they truly are.

''Its really not about "who is worthy", its more about knowing the individual for a period of time that you feel comfortable sharing things with.''

I agree very much. When I was younger I thought that the only people worth it, were those who I could find in ''gothic clubs'' or at gigs, or wearing gothic outfits, now I learned that many individuals have these interests without having any gothic image or listen to my same music, at the same time, people who share your same interests, could not have your same opinion, which is not bad, unless they start calling you names and be bitchy, because not everyone accepts a different opinion from theirs.

Luckily, even though I live in a small country and is very closed minded, I was able to find some people who I can talk freely with, about what I like and don't. These are a small number of people though, the majority wouldn't even be interested in such conversations unless it's about a gossip or some celebrity crush -_-

The way that I view life is that I am who I am..either accept me or don't..it is the other person's choice. If they are a true friend whether they have your same views or likes they will be supportive of who you are as an individual.

I think it is something you learn over time. Sometimes you can be forthright and let everyone know about your beliefs. But along with that comes quick persecution.

This is one of the great things about life. You just simply get to know a person and slowly share your beliefs, gauge their reaction and if it is favourable you continue to feed more information about yourself and see if that person has the same interests.

Over time you can draw people to you that are interesting in the same things as you.

I think this is something you discuss with people over time. You don't opening ask someone's religious beliefs or political views straight away. You ask over time.

Or alternative you could try looking for groups or clubs where people generally gather together to share their views and interests.

AlexandraAshes brings up a wonderful point that it is in the obscure and referential areas that one will gain a clearer picture of an individual.

I would prefer to call this a person's "etiquette". And this is most often instinctual in both performance and audience. However, it is an instinct rooted in discipline.

As for my advise to you. Expand your own areas that fall "between the lines" of what is written or spoken with your hand. It can be disheartening, I won't coin a lie; Moreso, if you concentrate on the apparent aspects of progress. Its there, but on a much lower frequency than most will be able to pick up upon. This is not to say this frequency is any less passionate than others (sometimes, it may be much greater). Put yourself out there, but refrain from compromise. Many may take notice, but you will know when someone is actually listening to yourself bellowing out within.

Interesting posts by everyone in this thread, but what would you do if you befriended someone on Vampire Rave that turns out to harass you? Not only on Vampire Rave but also in emails and by finding out by some means your personal cell phone number? Reporting it to the authorities has not worked. Any suggestions?

your personal cell? that could only come from you.

As for me? I am one of the least trusting people I know of.. down to two lying, cheating, fiancee. [bitter, me? never.] thing is.. I've been here longer than most.. quietly being me.. in this case 'Angelu' representing the darke side of me.. and, making connections.. on the way.. and some of them .. now mean a lot to me.. so to answer the question at the head of this thread.. in my own fashion.. I value highly, the 'friends' I have made here.

a sense of here n now

22:39:40 - Feb 07 2007


I have to wonder
as I read others pages,
others thoughts ~
their whispered words
and thoughts unsaid

just why is that we find
so hard to do what we need ?
and, talk... communicate.

Which is why, I guess
I came here myself...

it is always up to the person to decide whether or not to trust some one. each person is different and one should not be so quick to judge.

me, I like to make all types of friends and understand the differences of each person because that is what I would like in return.

~Djarahna~ asks: Interesting posts by everyone in this thread, but what would you do if you befriended someone on Vampire Rave that turns out to harass you? Not only on Vampire Rave but also in emails and by finding out by some means your personal cell phone number? Reporting it to the authorities has not worked. Any suggestions?

My response: Any individual that you meet online could be considered as a future threat if you are not careful, since you have neither met them, nor trust them. If you gave them your e-mails then the fault would be your own. As far as cell phone privilages go, this would again be a fault of your own since you are the only individual privvy to that type of information.

Unless the individual were a "hacker" that could possibly know certain programs and or sites on the internet that they could gain such information...

I would block all communication with said individual, as well as CHANGE YOUR DAMNED PHONE NUMBER, duh.

If the authorities in your local area are of no help then either they are not taking you seriously, or you are doing something completely wrong. I would conclude that this may be a "cry wolf" for help, for an attention seeker, or a young individual that does not know the proper way to extradite any threat that they see.

If the individual is a threat to your immediate life, then take it up with Cancer himself and see what you can do from there. Best advice you could possibly recieve.

Just dont be overly naive, after all this is the internet. It is always YOUR CHOICE of who you give your personal information to. PERIOD!

I believe that we draw ppl to us that are of the same beliefs and interests..you might be surprised to find how many you already know..:)

I say if it your interest then just tell others and i bet you ten fold you will have others who are simliar..

I guess I have been lucky. I've always met people with similar interest without trying to hard. I feel that like minded people will find each other. If two ravers are at a rock concert, the 2 ravers will find each other, lol!

Rabynion asks?
One thing I find extremely hard is locating individuals to share common interests with. Not just ordinary common interests, but very personal interests, VR style interests. Things more of a dark nature.

my question is how do we all determine who is worthy of sharing such interests with?


I state:
I guess I've never had this problem because I choose not to limit myself to friends with similar interests. I feel, if I had ever done that, I would have missed out on a lot of my greatest friendships. There is absolutely no reason to limit yourself to one type of anything.

Regarding cell phone numbers. I can think of two ways someone can get your number that do not involve hacking, although one certainly isn't legal. One, if both of you are members of Facebook and are/were friends there and have your cellphone listed in your personal information. For anyone using the mobile Facebook (not the program you pay for, but just the one you log into from your phone's WAP/internet browser)...there's a section under 'friends' for phonebook friends - it lists the contact numbers of your friends. I haven't looked, but it's probably available online as well. Two, if the person works for a cell phone company, specifically the one your service is through and they know your name, it's quite easy to get the information. Obviously, not so much on the legal side but still easy.

i seldom quote the Bible,

"Where ever three, or more are gathered in like mind* .
Paraphrase.

it's what you belive that counts if you belive you can share these things with someone you can cause the only thing that is really for sure in life is that at some point we all will die

I think it all depends on the person you're talking to. If you've talked to them and think you can trust that they won't judge then go for it i say. And if they don't like what you told them then its their lose not yours. But thats just my views.lol

I think you just have to talk to people, learn more about them and then you can determine who is, or isn't, trustworthy enough to know the dark that lives inside you. *smiles*

Really the only way is to talk to people, get to know them. VR is the first site I've ever seen that I can express myself, completely without being judged. And yet, there are those on here who still judge. Just get to know a person, read their page and journal, look at their pictures. Talk to them.

I will generally talk with then use positive and negative inquires to question their integrity. Discuss honor and loyalty and the pecking of importance of my life. Then give them enough rope to hang themselves if they don't then they have my loyalty.

For a change I'm not going to read what others say and I shall just give my response to the question at the top.

I don't care what others think, some laugh, some go all anal, some are genuinly interested. By talking about it I have found many people who share the same interests, however that doesn't mean that because we share, I like them...nor do they like me.

Some yes, not all.

I speak very in epth with people before letting people know hardly anything about me. I usually ask them all the questions first because I dont give out my information unless they are deemed worthy.

I expanded my social spectrum to include aquantances, associates, and infrequent faces.

Friend, I have few, and not all share personally with me, we may exchange our personal assurances.. but I would be even less likely to engage an aquanyaince in any depth.

Seems as though ~Dab~ and I share the same perspective regarding the value(s) of social communication(s).

I trust very few people here or in real life......
If you are dumb enough to give someone your information"phone number,email address,home address"
I say you deserve the harassment that goes along with it.

It is very easy to Call someone on the internet a friend but how do you really know ? I have found that the best way is to just state what you are into and your likes and dislikes ,and when you start to get friendly with someone , Ask Questions about things you like but ask them as if you just want to know this way you will know if they are true friends or just telling what you want to know.after that its up to you .

Well just post a hello if you like to someones profile or bite them lol and see how it goes from there, at least you would be doing something about it, as of being worthy you can learn something from almost anyone if you are prepared to listen to them

Before u actually can call someone a friend get to know them

It is difficult. it would be nice to have mentor groups of such, "common interests" Topics.
Then we could discuss those topics we each enjoy and are interested in with out all the forward slashing and bashing of interests and beliefs as on the forums sections.
Maybe some advertising of Dark Work Network groups would be helpful. Catagories of Interests.

hisdarkestdream and Maximus Pain called it right.. though he said a bit more, for me.

I trust few, here and in Real Time. So when I make a connection, it means all the more, to me.

I am a "feely" type of girl and all you can do is go on good faith and trust to find those of like mind and interest. The key to life is to take chances and I take chances here on vr all the time just in case I find real friends. I can say that I have found some true friends here. We have even met in person! Life doesn't get any sweeter than that. You just have to take chances.

The best thing to do as I see it is go with your gut feeling. it may be right it could be wrong but never the less you are up front and can not be acuse of being fake and what not.

I would probably advise you to look at your current friendships with the people close to you, and think about their interests. Maybe you current friends have a small, interest in vampires, or whatever you are looking to share. Perhaps casually bring the topic up and see if your current friend has a slight interest in it. It could be they have more of an interest than they are letting on. Even in a religious community, there are bound to be people who have questions or who have dabbled in other things.

If you find that none of your friends are open to the topic, the most logical thing is, find more friends! Go on some social networking sites, such as VR, and keep you eye out for people in your area that may have signed up here. I'm sure you can find people that share you interest near you. There just must be, so don't give up. ^^

Kitsuna that was a wonderful idea!

I read people's profiles thoroughly to see what interests them, and where they are coming from. The ones who don't have anything in their profiles, I either wait until they update them, or I send them a message just trying to get to know them more if they are interested in doing so. If you see that their profile meets what you are into, just message them and see if they want to talk and if so, then go from there.

Another way is to join a coven that you fit into. I am in a coven where everyone in there listens to the same music, have the same beliefs for the most part, practice the same things, and more. We're just one tight-knit family so to speak.

hi every one im a friend to all

That is one way to look at it...I befriend all as well, but at the same time if you're looking for specific interests in common and what not, then how would you go about doing so?

As has been stated earlier..these threads themselves are a good way to find out what people think and what their interests are. Also checking their profiles. If you want to befriend them then simply message them and explain you share similar interests and are interested in getting to know them a little better.

Over time and ask pointed questions. Take time to feel the person out before getting into to much depth and most of all trust you gut feelings

I have found that there is a good % of nice people on VR. Paying attention to journals is important also. I have seen some pretty wacked out journal entries.

Long-term conversation and face-to-face meetings.

i find that if you actually talk to somone and get to know them and keep in contact is the way o find out if they have same interests as you.being yourself also helps. it takes time to make friends so sit back and enjoy the ride.

you have to seek, and talk to poeple and even then 9 outa 10 times u wasted ur time but the one can be your friend for life

you must get to know people before they will share any real details with you .. however, everyones experiences are different .. everyone leads their own life, in whatever manner that might be .. they must all write a book that must always eventually end.

be honest, clear and direct approch, that way no one can accuse you or lying or being hypocrite or of pretending to be someone you are not

I think in regards to ANY online activity, it is best advised to get to know an individual really well first instead of taking them at face value. I personally had a few experiences online lately and not only at VR, where some do "claim" to be friends then for some reason turn around and stab you in the back. Either for attention or for some other innane reason. So my suggestion, would be to really talk to the person on a daily basis IF possible and to keep up with them in regards to contact via other means, ie: messengers, emails and such to truly get to know them. And if you're lucky enough to have such friends who you can trust, you may even be able to talk to them via telephone, webcam or actually meet up with them if they in your local vicinity.

But please be careful, ANYONE and EVERYONE has the ability to be whatever they want to be on the internet, but it's a little more difficult to do so when people know you in person. :)

Just my two cents worth.

Then suddenly it hits me... Why the hell would the individual want to "get to know" anyone on a "personal basis" online, unless it is for dating, close ties and or comradery? Is this not what a bar, or social gathering such as shopping mall for the kids, is for?

Does society really need an online protocol for a meet and greet, or has this been branded within their heads so deeply that social communications must exist for the sake of sanities calm?

I think society really does take the internet far too seriously and should concentrate on their daily/nightly lives offline such as reading books. Seems as though the internet has turned into one huge advertising outlet. From dating sites, to "vampyric" relations, masking the individuals personality to a point where they think to far over that fine line between fantasy and reality.

What ever happened to the old days? After school specials and the like? Family dinners without children complaining about "texting" at the table? When the best outting in the world dealt with smores and camp fires?

Bother...

Well vvSoulshroudevv I couldn't agree with you more. But nowadays everything seems to techno-related it aint funny anymore. Online dating sites, meetups, etc etc. I agree, with you, but maybe we're just too old-fashioned for this new millenium????

My fealing is this if ppl like me they like me if not so what? In truth i am on vr to learn and to help out others like me other then that vr is just a small part of my life

A person worth sharing personal beliefs and views are people worth dying for...

"You can always choose your friends, but never family."

People such as those closer to you than friends are family in my eyes, and treated as such. Thats my input...

Well said both, the last two posters, especially gaulder.
But since becoming a member of VR, I've found that VR has BECOME some people's lives. LOL. Sad but true! But ah well, it's their life not ours to waste. For me, I came here to seek not only those of like mind and nature, but to learn also. But I have other studies in real life too, so yeah, VR is but a mere part of the greater whole.

"Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces." (Matthew 7:6).

In other words, most people you meet have no appreciation for either the beauty of your life choices nor the value of what you hold sacred, so do not share with them what you believe or they will be unappreciative and/or turn against you for your belief's.

It is unwise to share your life with the masses, in your heart you will know the indiviuals you can share what you hold sacred and any doubt about an individual is a sign to be silent.

Your parable ~Doru~ is completely accurate. It goes along the line of "trust no one," even if that individual is your closest friend. That is to say, unless you have known the individual for more then a mass of 5 years or longer to gain a perspective as to what that individual is like on the inside.

I believe that Doru hit the nail on the head. Well said hon indeed. ~bows~

I have somewhat of a dark past therefore not many, if any people i know have been through something I have or even gotten close. There's a few that have been through a very tiny bit of what I've been through but not the full extent of it.

Most on and off VR that I know share the same or similiar interest for one reason or another. Very few know the real me and even fewer have seen the real me. I don't think anyone will ever see both at the same time. Nobody has so far. I dont think anyone is worthy of seeing who I am when i'm not out and about. Nobody deserves to see me at my worst just at my best. Not many if any would be able to handle it the way i have.

YOU CAN DEFINITLY LEARN ALOT BY ONES PROFILE. SIMILAR INTERESTS, START OFF SLOW WITH CONFAB, WHAT I LIKE TO CALL FISHING. THEN YOU CAN DECIDE IF THEY ARE WORTHY TO BE LET IN.

CountessIsabell, yeah you could. But what are the chances of people just adding stuff to their profiles that isn't quite true? I've seen this happen many times here at VR. A line of description here or just a few pictures there, giving absolutely no clue as to the person behind the profile????

I find the best procedure is just to talk to someone,sometimesprofiles are just a cover up because everyone else is doing it.

I find the best procedure is just to talk to someone,sometimesprofiles are just a cover up because everyone else is doing it.

well one way to do this is get to know them find out there intrest, here and there ask questions

me i would never just put everything out at once learned that lesson, just things here and there see how they react if they are cool with it and share there you go

if they find a excuse to go you know your answer

good question, isn't it??
how'd you know someone is "safe".. and, can provide you with the mental stimulus you feel you need?

be aware, use your eyes and ears fully.. and listen, more than you talk.

good question, isn't it??
how'd you know someone is "safe".. and, can provide you with the mental stimulus you feel you need?

be aware, use your eyes and ears fully.. and listen, more than you talk.

That is very good advice there Angelus, but I would like to expand on those also.

Don't only use your eyes and ears, and listen more than talk, but also use that gut instinct that you were born with. If someone or something doesn't feel right, don't go there.

I think you should never be afraid to share your interests with somebody even if its considered "weird". Its apart of you and if they can't accept that than they are worht sharing anything with.