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For many of us, this may have been difficult if we do not have supportive people around us. Some of us come from a family that has always been open about their practices, while others are deemed taboo. I know myself being raised Catholic by a very strict Catholic family it was very hard for me. When I first did come out it was forced, by going threw a custody battle, and being told that my life style was not a safe place for a child and it was attempted to be used against me. Luckily I had some wonderful fellow sisters of the path that wrote letters on my behave. My parents were shocked more then any thing, they still do not feel that my choice of religion is acceptable. but it is my life not theirs.

So I was wondering how each of you came out, was it by choice or forced ?

i think i am a strange case.... but i never was in the broom closet so to speak. there is just about all faiths in my family and my great grandmother was a healer and my grandmother on the other side of the family was strega. so when i said that was what i wanted to do and what i felt was the right path for me, my family was totally open to the idea of it.

Thebatt - that is wonderful that you had some people in your family that were so open. I have several friends that are of the strega tradition, many of which were taught by their elder family members, usually grandmothers.

the dark arts have been in my family on both sides for a few hundred years (not wiccan but a few different types of pagan other than strega).



i know i am lucky that way

There's a chapter in Michelle Belanger's "Sacred Hunger" entitled, "Coming Out of the Coffin". It essentially entails the struggle that vampires face when outing the fact that they...believe themselves to be vampires.
Why am I bringing this up?
Well because it's obvious that any and every alternative lifestyle is going to receive its fair share of ridicule whether or not it's coming from religious fanatics, or people that just don't understand.
I'd be interested in hearing the reasons people give for believing your particular lifestyle/belief system to be...a negative aspect of your life. But not only their reasons, I'd like to hear your responses, maybe how the craft has actually been a positive aspect of your life. Keep in mind when posting that posts bashing any religious philosophy aren't allowed. I just thought I'd add that considering the potential of this thread.

I was raised in an environment that had a strong religious upbringing, but not the kind where it's crammed down your throat. Ironically, I found that the worst bible thumpers weren't in the family, but often found in the church.

My grandfather is a licensed psychologist and an ordained minister among other things. Growing up, I had access to a lot of reading material that most kids my age were either ignorant of, or weren't interested in. In otherwords, when I got bored and wanted something to read, I read subject matter involving psychology, dream analysis and various religions ranging from old world Christianity to Egyptian Mythos.

Although my family is primarily Christian, I on the other hand am not. If they are around, I attend church with them, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I enjoy it. I just do it to appease them.

As for when people ask what religion I am, I usually change the subject.

To touch on the subject of attending church with family. yes when I was still in NY i would attend special holiday or wedding ceremonies. As i believe it doesn't matter where you are, a chucch in its self is just another temple.

Wallflower - Yes, I figured it could be read as any lifestyle could add their own insight on this thread.

As with anything, there will be those who wear "it" on their sleeve and those who, due to either fear or just a desire to be discreet, keep the cards close to the chest.

I suspect those who are OUT, whatever their closet is, do so simply because they gain more from no longer hiding or because they no longer have the patience/energy to keep a low profile. I'm not suggesting either choice or whatever the motivations might be for either choice is good or bad.

I feel for those forced out though. My mother lost the close relationship she had with her grandmother because she told an aunt about her study of wicca. She wasn't about to renounce her beliefs and so they never reconciled.

Ironically, I recently had to contend with an interesting situation. My husband met a pagan woman who was quite outspoken about her religion (the wear-it-on-the-sleeve type I mentioned). So what does he do? He blabs, "Oh, you need to meet Justin! He's into blood and vampirism and stuff."

I was both chagrined and fine with it at the same time. On the one hand, there was an "Ixnay on the loodbay!" By the same token, lol, there wasn't much about this revelation that would surprise this woman.

The point of this long-winded response is that I think there will inevitably be times when, no matter how discreet or flag-waving one is about their quirk, there will be times when you have to stiffen your spine, damn the consequences, and say, "This is who I am."

I actually have never come out of the witches closet to any of my family members. I'm sure they know that I have a different religious preference then they do. With my pentacle gladly showing. I never really thought that I had to explain myself to my folks or other family members.

When I came out as bisexual to my mom. She just already knew before I said anything. She was like "in life you can't help who you love, just love them the best way you can".

I love that quote from my mom. She's one of the most understanding people I know in the world. Conversing with her I have to step up my knowledge to her level she hardly will talk down to anyone she's very strong in that way.

I don't really think she would even care what religion I believed in as long as I was happy with my choices. Sorry to rant in between but gives you some idea of why I haven't had the need to tell her. More than likely she already knows.

I was raised with a family that thought it was a mental problem and hospitalized me at the age of 15. My darkside is the only thing that helped me keep it together in that place. They tried to say my beliefs where delousions and put me on meds. When they realized i wasn't going to change my beliefs they let me out and turned me out at 16. I'v been on my own now for 28 years and still keeping to the faith.

My grandmother was known here abouts as a "root worker", but she preferred the term medicine woman. My mother, of course, had little to do with her, but after my mother's death I lived with my grandmother for some time.

It was pretty well excepted by those around us that I was following her lead...and no one questioned it.

It was only later in my adult life that I openly admitted to my friends that I was pagan. Believe me, it certainly revealed who my true friends were.

the audacity of people who blab the affairs of others, a remarkable example of why one need practice discretion.

the motives people have for blabbing vary, but personally
I see the intent to astonish others with 'breaking gossip' to be the dominate reason.


i

If people don't ask I don't tell
If people ask, depending on whom then I may tell.
I do not feel I have to explain my actions to people
who never heard of the word Wicca.
People should accept people for who they are
not religion they believe in.

I have never really been in the "closet" so to speak. But then again unless you ask I don't offer information about it either.
I told my mother about my practicing as a witch and she said ok well you are still my daughter. What more could I ask for.

I think that Fizbop's mom said it right. It should not matter as long as you love them because they are who they are and you cannot change that.

I basically kept it to my self what my faith was until my Daughter was hit and killed by a car , in a round about way I told my parents , my father just looked at me but the biggest surprise was my mother who got excited and started asking questions and wanted me to do a card reading for her,I gained friends and lost some good friends because of my faith but I don't think I have ever regretted choosing it . IT has helped me through some of the most hardest times in my life when most people would have just given up .so I guess you could say I was lead out of the closet by my daughter.

There are people that profess to practice that take a radical arrogent position, it's as if they want confrontation over their alledged belief.

Such people are apt to " out others" taking joy in the fall out, as if watching Jerry Springer.

I think that the whole confrontation thing isn't limited to this. there are people who seem to want to force a fight about many issues. not just religious/pseudo-religious ones.

Too often such people are involved in such things for suspect reasons to begin with. They want the dirt, so they can present it to others that may hold adversary to the social ideal.

its the person that goes to a christian church, and losses that baby christian attention, so they go, and mingle with people that hint of, or are affiliated with groups the church speaks out against, they then go back to the church to tell of their encounter with the "enemy".

i wasn't even going that direction, I'm talking about people who think that because they aren't "normal" that everyone in society is against them.

Most of the stereotypes are fuel for such backlash.

I have always found that those who practice, and represent themselves, rather then announce their beliefs/practice to "get along better".

here are a few examples of what the Pagan community has contended with in the past.

http://www.holysmoke.org/wicca/pryor02.htm http://www.holysmoke.org/wicca/pryor01.htm

it is often ideal
to be who you are
relative to your personal beliefs
and practices
then to announce yourself
by your beliefs and practices
people will preceed your person
with their ideals, and stereotypes
over time a person may ask themselves
what sets this person apart from others
then there exist a foundation share
preceeded by example

This also filters out people who are phishing for tidbits of gossip. Such people do not care about what a person does, but by what they confide in them.

I just hide everything about myself, that way people won't think I am crazy.

When people ask my beliefs, I always asked.. "Why?"
Nosy people are thrown off by that question.

Lets face it, many people want to know what you believe so they can tell you what they think of your belief. Not everyone.. but enough to give one reason to be discreet with ones beliefs, and practices.

"Why do you want to know?"

Hahaha, dabbler, that's great. I'll have to remember that.

Great point, Dabbler... though for many I've found, not revealing their beliefs or views also insulates them from contrary views or arguments that might force them to re-think or reconsider such beliefs. And while for those of the scientific mindset for whom discovery of actual facts truly matter, such contrary views and arguments are most welcome as they help the individual to hone his views and discover whether such are in error or in need of re-thinking... yet for most, any challenge to their beliefs is most definitely not desired and is, in fact, ironically viewed as a personal affront and perceived as an offense. In this manner, pride alone is the only winner with Reason and truth as the ultimate losers.


- Upir'

My personal journey "out of the broom closet" was never intended to be such... as I never would have imagined I was inside any such. Unlike probably all others here, my journey of self-discovery did not begin seeking to find "dark" explanations for "dark" inner feelings and drives; I simply sought scientific answers ... answers that not only didn't exist but for which the very topic, which I certainly did not think had anything to do with vampirisim, was considered to be scientifically and medically "impossible."

Thus, after literally decades trying to find any medical or scientific professional who would treat the topic seriously, I finally found one of the most pre-emminent researchers in her field who was brave enough to seek and have funded the scientific study wherein we succeeded in documenting the "physiologically impossible," as it was then believed to be.

Thereafter while in preparation to publicly present the study for the first time at the first of many international scientific conferences, I was tasked with finding any and all scientific precedents for that which we documented in the "laboratory" at Rutgers... of which simply none could be found.

It wasn't until years later while researching ancient history that I was shocked to find incredibly ample evidences within only a single race considered largely mythological for this exact same "physiologically impossible" trait. Then it was simply a matter of tracing this singular trait forward in time before I unexpectedly and unavoidably ran smack-dab into the actual historical (no relation to pop-culture fictional) accounts of the Eastern European Vampire in which this exact same "physiologically impossible" capacity was extantly evidenced.

This realization was shocking! Yet the more historical research was conducted, the more glaring and obvious the evidences and the ultimate realization of exactly who and what the "Vampire" truly is and always has been.

And that eventually led me to, of all places... here... and apparently out of the "broom closet" inside which I never imagined I truly was given that the pop-culture iconography of what the vampiric "broom closet" is ... is entirely inaccurate. Yet, the journey continues and it has been and continues to be most interesting to hear others' accounts and interpretations, too.


- Upir'

I am still in the broom closet

Good point Dab. I think there are just allowed of people that feel that they would be shunned by family and friends by coming out of the closet, which ever closet that may be. Society is still jaded by so many things. And depending on your location, it can be even harder to come out. I know for me, when I lived in Ny there was a gigantic pagan community, and since moving down here to TN, I feel like an outcast. I have searched and have found no Meet Ups, but there are people out there they are just too afraid to take the first step. I am thinking of starting a meetup here in JC, as I miss having that monthly escape to Borders to discuss things.

Another factor for people who out others is the litmus test, while they may be in the closet themselves, and exploring the belief, or practice, they want to gauge the response to the subject, and sadly opt to throw someone else out.

It reslly comes down to the manner one adopts to breach the topic. Prior to coming out one would be wise to mention "an article" one read, in a third person approuch, then listen to the response.

My own choosing. In to some, but out to most.

Family is always much harder on you than friends or strangers.

i never really had to come out either...
i mean... I look like a good old christian boy anyways right?
LMAO!

Sure you do, Alek. *grins* Though I know from experience how 'sinful' you can be, Hah.

Anyway, um..

To the topic at hand, I actually didn't have to 'come out' either, so to speak. Like TheBatt, I had family who were into the Magickal Arts, my papa being a Ceremonial Magician and my mum an active Setist.

If my parents came home and caught us reading a book on Spirit Communication or Setism, which is what Devil Worship actually is, instead of being reprimanded or even grounded, we were encouraged to finish the book and tell them what we thought of it, and then we were recommended more by mum and papa.

My parents dabbled in everything from Druidism to Setism, from Necromancy to High Magic, so we were raised to be quite eclectic, just as long as we stayed away from 'Wicca', which was really no problem for us. LOL.

We weren't a 'spellcasting, ritual-giving' family, we were more into thie 'learning and thinking' aspect. Sure, we could cast a spell or two. But why cast a novice spell when you can research more and improve that incantation to something even greater? That was mum's stance on the whole Research vs. Practice thing.

So with us, it was our plan to research and learn all there is to know about our spiritual choices so that when we DID move on to actual spell-and-ritual work, we wouldn't have any problems.

Papa was teaching me how to 'Summon without a Circle'. He had 'spiritual communication' down flat, and he taught me that entities required the same level of respect as your average person. He never 'commanded' the presence of a spirit. Just 'requested'. He said that it kept the posession ratio down. No wonder.

Sorry for the long reply, lol.

I guess I've been one of the lucky few. I never really had to come out of the broom closet or the coffin, because my family always knew I was different. And I've been called a vampire by friends and family more than anything else. So basically, I was never even in the broom closet or the coffin.

I was raised catholic, but my mom does go to tarot card readers. I haven’t really said anything about believing in other forms of beliefs, but I think my mother knows something about my beliefs; she just has yet to say anything to me. Now I work with a few Christians, so me telling them I tend to lean more towards the Wicca side is not going to happen. As for the rest of my family I keep myself in the broom closet and coffin, they are way too religious for me to say anything.

My parents were both raised strictly Catholics but were liberal and didn't attend church. The raised me within Christian values but always told me the choice was mine with what I believed.

And when I discovered my path, I just simply told them what I was, what I was doing and where I was planning on going with my life. They accepted, but at the same time, I gave them no choice. Its my life and my choice.

My husband and children were fine with my decision, however we don't tell his family too much they think I am a gold digging hag as it is, and are over zealous Christians. So they are the only ones I hide my choices from, well its not so much that I hide them I just choose not to inform them.

If I had a closet to come out of, I'm not sure which it would be. At the moment, I am very confused as to just what I actually believe as far as religion is concerned.
However, I have always held views that, should I say, oppose the norm. I do not press my views on others, but I do not allow myself to be silenced by them.

One thing I find particularly irksome is when a statement of opinion that differs from the opinion of somebody else is taken as a threat or a challenge.

I am quite an accepting and open-minded individual, and therefore find it extremely vexing when people see fit to try and change others, especially when nobody is actively trying to change them based on a difference of beliefs.

Unfortunately, however, there will always be people who believe that there is only one RIGHT way to be, and will impose their beliefs on any who oppose that.

Ultimately those people cannot be persuaded to believe differently, just as those that they persecute will more likely than not remain unswayed by their efforts to change the way they are.

The rule I like to go by is the age old saying, "Live and let live".