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update: I'm still very sick :( I now have a infection from surgery, went to emergency out of hours last night and after checking me diagnosed me with a post op infection, so am now on strong anti biotics and anti spasm pills to stop my womb contracting. Due to blood loss she wanted me to go to the hospital but I'm so sick of that place so told her I wanna give medicine chance to work first, but on the promise that I will go to er if I am still the same today. I wish this was all a bad dream :(
Thank you for the messages, taking time to message me to see how I am, or your journal of kind wishes. Means a lot. Knowing you care enough to even bother to message me just to ask how I am means a lot, I appreciate you caring. Achilles, nell, nick and tabby ( thank you for texting me checking up on me tab, you cheer me up)
And to people who have commented on my journals or taken time to inbox me, thank you :)
Hang in there sweetheart your a tough chick and will get through this,I know u will.Just take it easy and try not to tress yourself out too much love.Take care of yourself,your friend Achilles.
I am very proud to say my 8 year old passed his music exam. Not only did he pass but he passed with the highest grade possible. He passed with a distinction, 91/100 the highest grade for a 8 year old around here, grown men took the same exam and passes with merit. All his hard work and talent is paying off. I could not be more proud than I am now. Feel free to check out his videos on my YouTube account ' babybexy999 '
Love my babies
On another note. I am healing well, I'm still aching but it's bearable, the emotional pain is the hardest, I can't switch off, sleep, think properly, I have trouble speaking out loud cus after a sentence I break into tears, going to see the doctor Monday, see if i can have something to calm me a little.
Surgery was yesterday, am sore and in quite abit of pain, mostly when i walk, feels like someones kicking me in the stomach.
Went down to theatre at half 3, came round at half 4, had antibiotics via iv and had to eat and drink and they let me go home after 4 hours of monitoring, make sure i wasnt bleeding too much.
Home now resting with painkillers. Its not too bad unless i stand up then the pain hits me like a ton of bricks.
Havent cried sinxe i woke up from operation, i think im either in shock or im ok, i want to cry but nothing physically happens, i think it will in a few days.
Luke is being amazing, hes been staying strong for me, i know when hes crying but he hides it so he can keep me strong.
Thankyou everyone for your kind words, it means alot to me.
Marci & Achilles. Thankyou for keeping me going, I love ya both.
Tabby, thanks for the 3am texts making me smile, love ya!
Zombeh & Lordfangor, thankyou both for your messages of kind words.
I'll always be here to keep you going. I'll always be here for anything you need. It's just how we are. Together or far apart you're always in my heart. Love you toast, babygirl.
Just a update, My surgery is tomorrow, i have to go in at 12pm and then wait for the surgeons to be ready for me. Cant eat after 8am but tbh food is going to be the last thought on my mind tomorrow.
The worse part is walking in that hospital pregnant, and walking out, not, with no baby.
Be strong love,everything will go okay tomorrow,try not to worry too much,ill be praying for you.Always here for you to lean on.
20:30 Apr 21 2013 Times Read: 692
It's not fair, and it's NEVER going to be ok.
I didn't deserve this. I don't deserve this.
It is never going to be ok.
Heartbroken.
Going to take some time offline for a while, Need to get my head sorted. Thankyou for your kind words, your texts, emails etc. I do appreciate you taking the time to message me. All of you.
Having someone so young taken, someone that never had a chance to experience life in excruciating and for it to be your own child... Loss is difficult in all cases but I can't imagine what you are going though. I hope you feel better soon, but remind yourself that you have two beautiful children and the support of your boyfriend. Lean on each other and hang in there you are a strong and beautiful person time will help to heal. My thoughts are with you and yours in this difficult time.
Having gone through the hell of miscarriage yourself -it's a pain like no other. You are a strong woman and will fight through this. Wish I was there to help you though this. Feel free to call me (at any time of day or night).
Take as much time away as u need love,only time heals nothing else.I will miss u greatly msg me whenever u want.
13:52 Apr 20 2013 Times Read: 741
My little babys, grown its wings.
Scan today showed that the baby is only 6w 6d and heartbeat that i seen 2 weeks ago has stopped. Pregnancy sac is a irregular shape and i have a heammorage underneath the pregnancy sac, got to go hospital on monday for another scan and then discuss procedure. Ive had a mmc before so i know how it goes. Ill have to have the surgery to remove the pregnancy.
Sorry to hear that, I have been where you are. Wish I could say something sweet to comfort you in this time, but there really are no words. I hurt for you, I really do.
I'm so sorry babygirl. I wish there was something I could do to help you. I wish there were words I could say but there isn't. All I can say is I love you and I'm here.
I'm so so sorry love,I really am.Try and be as positive as can be right now even though such a trajedy just happened.You'll be okay i'm sure u will,send luke my condolonsces also.
11:09 Apr 11 2013 Times Read: 758
Well me and Luke cant sit patiently and wait for the next ultrasound in 6 weeks, so we have booked a private scan, for next saturday at 1:45. Will get pics with this and pics on a disk too. The money is worth it to see our little chicken nugget again :D xx
Since walking dead is over, i got bored, and realised ive run out of things to watch lol. Up to date with supernatural, true blood, walking dead, breaking bad, sons of anarchy, secret circle and Once upon a time. A friend suggested i watch Game of thrones, I'm now hooked lol episode 5 is now on. And i am completely enjoying it.
My ultrasound scan is monday morning, I will be 8weeks and 3 days, So hopefully there will be more than a tiny blob to see, and hopefully a galloping heartbeat. And yes too much info incoming, but i cant wait to be able to have sex!!! I have been put on a sex ban by the nurses due to the bleeding i was having, i haven't had any bleeding for over a week now, and i haven't had sex in over 3weeks!! Its driving me NUTS!!! we've gone from twice a day, to zero. Luke is being amazing tho, its not bothering him at all, its me thats going insane haha!!
I hope your scan goes well. As a baby shower gift, someone gave me a gift card to build a bear, it also had a recorder. You record the baby's heart beat on it and then go build a bear special for the baby. I thought it was a great idea. Oh and I agree, try Lost Girl, I'm hooked on that one also.
20:29 Apr 02 2013 Times Read: 828
Went to wales today, was a random decision, went to Borth and parked on the beach, had a picnic and then spent a few hours having fun with the kids :DDefo love spontaneous days out :D 3 hours there , 3 hours back, we are all a little tired now haha. x
COMMENTS
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deringerdan
11:31 Apr 30 2013
**Hugs** you and sends my strength your way..
supernova
12:34 Apr 30 2013
Lotsa healing loves girlie!
queenofchaos
13:47 Apr 30 2013
Well wishes Bexi!!
Achilles
00:27 May 01 2013
Hang in there sweetheart your a tough chick and will get through this,I know u will.Just take it easy and try not to tress yourself out too much love.Take care of yourself,your friend Achilles.