Seems like forever since I wrote in my journal. And it has. First- let me say I am sick of being sick. I mean it- this bug would not have hit me so hard if I hadn’t been a shut-in for the last 4 years. But it is what it is. I am not getting into the debate of “mask, 6 ft.” vs not, don’t start.
I went out today, doing more than I have in a few weeks. First stop was the drug store, my usually hang out. Sucks when the health insurance is such an ass about the ‘day’ they will pay for the refill. Not, let me come by the next day, please….
Then to McDonald’s for food as no way was I going to cook. Long line. But that was expected with the whole festival that is going on in town, turning blocks and main street into a stupid waste of time and money. Ok ok… that is my opinion only, fair enough.
So I spent the money, thinking its 1/3 of the grocery bill for the week- and get the “pull forward, we will bring it out to you.” Ok- fine. I do, sucking down the soda as I waited. I watched as a woman came out, carrying donuts. And other bags. I knew it was my order but she kept walking toward the car in the front of the ‘pull up’ so the time will show we serviced you quickly- line.
She stood, talking to the person in the car, then she walked to the next, nope. Helllo! Here I am, right… “Did you order…” “Yes, that is me.” So she is handing me in the bags and I took the donuts as I get to hear how busy they are inside, mad house busy. And how the festival is keeping them so busy. Mind you I am done with putting the three bags in the car, ready to leave….
And how she couldn’t even keep the orders straight. How the first car she went to told her they were ready to ask for a refund, as they been there 20 minutes, very upset. I don’t know about that but they was there when I pulled up, and I was sitting for over ten.
I see she still has a small bag in her hand, hold out my hand. “Oh, that isn’t yours.” So she stood, talking about how they did 80’s theme day, why she was dressed the way she was, and had to borrow the big sunglasses she wore from her grandchild as she never gotten into sunglasses that big… as she held up taking someone else their food.
Huh… and she wonders why people get upset… imagine that. “Well I need to go, before it get cold.” She steps back, and off I went, watching her in the rear view trying to find the next person the food belongs to. If I had been that first car, I would of lied, say “Yes, that is me” and took my chances on the food. Fuck them trying to get that straighten out.
Then home- ate, threw up. Yeah me. Hours fussing with my brother to get his shower, treatments done before the 2 pm meeting we had. Of course that didn’t work out. Sis told me I needed to go home once the meeting was over as I was losing my last nerve with him.
Also had a wonderful chat “typed in a tone” with Amazon. I order something that was have been delivered on Tuesday. Lost. I can ask for a refund, per Amazon. So I hit the button, another button, then another,,,, fuck that- chat now. 27 minutes later I had enough of the ‘Can you hold for 2 minutes while I get with my lead on this?” Why? Its you offering to get me the refund, ass. Just hit the buttons. “Sure.” “How would you like this refund as we wait?” As we wait--- you took 4 minutes to ask me that, and it was too been 2 minutes hold. But I tell ya. Many minutes later you ask me the same questions. That is enough. I call you out on the bull shot- McDonalds, I am not pulling up. DEAL with your shipping issue.
So I call you out- You asked me that already- I gave you the answer. How much longer? It’s been 23 minutes to do the refund you, Amazon, was offering me to start with. Lord and behold- the refund was approved. No shit Sherlock. What can I say- in the mood it seem. Steroids are not letting me sleep more than a few hours at a time, and so not happy. When Mommy doesn’t get her 8 hours of sleep, ain’t no one day going to be good.
So shower finally done. Warned him if he drag out his breathing treatment- he will still be on the machine when the Lady showed up. He did. Thinking I would let him skip his 2nd part of his treatment. Well—that shit don’t float in my pool. So he got to spend about 15 minutes of the meeting with his mask, treatment running. Play around, bites you in the ass.
The meeting- went as expected. Ray played up the ‘sick’ card. Mind you I have stayed away from him, mask on when around. Even during his shower, I wore a mask. The wheezing in my lungs? Yeah- that would be handled by a 70 year old on oxygen. But he never sneezed, coughed all this time he has been ‘sick’. Nor have a temperature. It’s a case of “My big toe is sore” all of a sudden his toe is sore, if you know what I mean. But he was going to learn the lesson again about playing around.
But he complained he did not go fishing, and I just reminded him he has been sick. Ohhhh the stinky eye I got. *evil grin* The lady talked of the classic car show three towns over this weekend… again… sick… if looks could kill. But the lady supported me, seeing his look. “You don’t need to be out, having a cold, on oxygen.” Note she never got the stink eyes, just the pouting.
So- think that is it. Talking to friend on the phone on our nightly call, and told her I need to get off the phone to spend time with the dog. She was so excited I got a pet. I hated to tell her that it wasn’t a real dog. When they gave me the nebulizer was for children. It’s in the shape of a dog. A cute little brown dog with a button nose, big eyes. I named him David.
That is my day. Rest of the days of late has been doing what needed done, resting, trying to sleep with steroids in me (never happens) and taking meds, doing treatments.
On a personal note- I SOOOOO want to decorate for Fall. Unfair looking forward to cool weather, getting the twelve or so totes out of Fall/ Halloween stuff... to only get sick. SUCKS!! :(
Now a couch is calling me, as well as a movie.
Someone needs a spa day....🥰😁
What a day. It is so hard to deal with difficult people and situations when you are sick and just don't have the energy to do it. It is amazing just how precious our energy is. Feel better and blessed be.
Went to the doctor this morning, expecting the monthly visit for my antidepressant meds. But since I was ill all last week, plan to talk to her about maybe some meds to clear up my sinuses.
They tested me for Covid Virus. Negative. Got the flu shot.
Instead I came home with a warning of Pneumonia. Left bottom lung, right whole lung wheezing. Temperature, while normal, spiking as I work., do things. Nebulizer machine * They only had kids one- so I got a PUPPY. I named it David * to be used at least for the next 72 hours, treatment ever 4 hours unless I am sleeping. But 4 treatments a day, if not 5.
A steroid pack. And another medicine. Told to rest, drink plenty of water.
So- that is how we stand as of now.
Warning- Steroid have always effected my mood, energy level. SO expect some odd behavior if you talk to me the next 7 days.
When your brother treats you like you have the plague, uses his t- shirt like a mask.... you have to wait till he is close enough to do a fake cough. He has not moved so fast in years.
And to point out- I stayed away from family while sick. I did do a grocery/ drug store pickup but stayed in car while brother unloaded from trunk.
I took the last 4 plus years to heart on keeping illness from my family. My temp has been normal last two days. And I tested negative on a Covid home test I took Friday.
Still, even with all that serious risk.....fake cough gets him moving. 9 days of doing what he wanted, not what is needed, has lead to the 5 year old mentality of " I don't have to!"
But you do. You have to shower, treadmill, treatments, eat vegs, drink water. So it's been a lot of fussing today.
I, myself, need a nap. And am craving chocolate for some reason. But trying to get back to my normal scheduled day 's duties.
*leaves you double chocolate chunk cupcakes*
Girl I feel ya. All that don't want to have to stuff. He got a little vacation from have to now it's shower and good for you time. He is so lucky to have you. Blessed be.
You have, as always, gone above and beyond.
Thank you to Vodka for being the school mom and correcting my wording on the contest thread. :) And to FalsexCure for the image, coding help. And with that- the contest is started. So get busy folks, let's see what you can come up with.
And yes..those are my boobs.
Don't ask...not slept.
Guess it was about this time last week I had the inkling I was sick. Well, really Thursday night. I was just hot. Could not sleep, body aches. Then Friday all I wanted to do was sleep. By Saturday I knew I was sick. Was it covid? Was it a sinus infection? Cold? Flu? Symptoms could lead you to all of these really.
I just knew I had a headache for days. Sore throat, coughing, runny nose. Cold, then hot. And a low temperature, just a degree or two above normal.
Sleep- man I slept like days. Out of 24 hours, it was 14 or 16 hours sleeping. That lasted till yesterday. I felt better, the meds finally kicking in. And the stir crazy coming with it. Spent a little time out on the porch till the cool wind got me a little cold so inside I went. And a few little this and that, laundry, change my bed... and right back the temperature went. Yeah Yeah, I can hear ya.. all of you who asked how I was, who kept me company on messenger, who texted me. I was put on couch arrest, by False. Poor guy had to put up with my grumpy whine all week.
Today I had to go out- meds, food needed by family and me. I tried to space it apart, the two Kroger pickups. I did meds first. Then rested. Picked up my Kroger order, hauled it in, rested for just a few minutes. Then on to the family order, which was unloaded by my brother, put up by him and sis as I was told to stay in the car since my temperature is bouncing from normal to 99.
After wards I went and got food for the family, got me some KFC so I will not have to cook tonight, and home I went. Couch, fresh nightshirt, food put into ref, telling folks I was home, and nap time. 3 hours later I have come to realized I am not at 100% yet. I mean- other then carrying in my bags of can soups, oj, etc- I did nothing today. But I am worn out.
I just wish the temperature would go away, as I need to get back to taking care of the family. I am sure the housework needs done, brother needs a shower, sisters bed needs changed, and a thousand other things need done. But I am on couch arrest again, for this weekend. And I plan to approve a few naps as needed. :)
Just a update on me- still here, but not at 100%. And that is OK. As much sleep as I have had in the last 7 days has shown me anything it is that I was worn out.
I hope you feel better soon. As momma's and people too look after I know how you feel at times.
Try not to worry about all that needs doing...impossible I know but just let it go as much as you can, for now and get yourself back 100% before taking on too much.
Getting stronger takes time. Be kind to yourself. Blessed be.
Just a heads up- Halloween contest is happening this year. When my head clears up from the wooly feeling, I will post in the main forum.
But it's a profile Halloween theme. And a story/ poetry, Halloween theme.
Let's spook this place up!
Everyone can play. The judges who will help me are not active on the site, do not care to be part of it. So I drag them into helping me judge.
One year membership is the awards.
Contest runs till October 31st, ask you to leave your profile up till contest winners announced.
Written contest entry be post in the forum thread, that way all enjoy them. Of course only original work is allowed.
Aggg...see- wooly brain still.
And yes- you can enter as many times as you wish. And can enter both profile and poetry/ story.
Now to put all that into a informative post instead of my randomness.
I'm so excited to see the entries. I LOVE the layouts some folks come up with. We need to make sure we have a good way to memorialize them in a Hall of Fame gallery. That goes for the written entries as well.
Oh this sounds like a lot of fun! It will be great to see what everyone comes up with! Wonderful idea!
Ooooh this does sound good...maybe I will do up my profile...
I'm with Morri on the memorializing them.
This is going to be so much fun!
I've given my House and my Mentorship access to testing pages to test coding so they don't pull a Ducky and mess up their profiles before hand haha
Ha! Sounds like something poor Moonie has to fix after we both messed up. :)
Slept 12 hours, then took a two hour nap. Safe to say I am really catching up on my rest. Still have the headache of the last three days. Blood pressure is up, but the temperature had drop to almost normal. Noticed the coughing as the day went on isn't as bad, still got the sniffles.
But all in all, getting better.
Better is good. 🖤
Just keep taking care of yourself hun! 🤗
I am so sorry you are feeling cruddy. I hope you feel better soon! *Sends you chicken noodle soup vibes*
As people and as women especially and as caregivers we can't always hit the ground running. Pace yourself and love yourself and spend some time not giving a crap. We get sick because we don't slow down enough so our body will force us to. You take care of others. Take care of yourself as well as you do them.
When more then one person points out you are not 'acting like yourself'. Or that you are 'forcing yourself' to do this or that. When it is just pointed out how people see you as being fake, or putting on an act. It just makes you rethink.
My days are busy- life, stress, family, business, work, try to do self improvement, my own health care.
If I put a time line on it- my weekday I might have 3 hours of 'me' time. And on the weekend I am usually either so tried, worn out, or I have so much more things to do like my own house/ laundry to care for. You would think I would have 48 hours but not really. I need to recharge and I have come to understand I can't do that if I am being that 'friend' or that person who listens, or the person who pulls up questions to try and get folks to talk. It is not allowing me to recharge, its draining me. Emotional vampires- I talked about it before, just lately.
The drama of past events I had nothing to do with, but have to deal with when I just want a friend. The whole 'use to..' crap that I just want to yell to look up the word Use to and understand it in the past.
At the most I have 20 hours for me on the weekend. And if I was to plan something outside the home- even less.
But the attitude being thrown my way of late just making me rethink-- what is it that I want to do? Stop trying to be that friend, that person who keeps everyone company, bring a smile. How about you just do what you want? How about you put yourself, you needs, your desires first? From just not joining in on a chat, to reading a book, to just going to bed early if I am tired.
To just staying offline all together. I have friends in real life I am not talking to. I have the need to just not talk at all to anyone. To just be alone. Not feeling like when I hear a bing, or see the new messages, or a drop in from a friend, phone call- not feel it is time to act.
Yes, I am dealing with a lot. But you know what? I miss me. I miss me being the grumpy, pissy, don't talk to me if it doesn't involve blood person. I miss the smart ass mouth I can let loose around certain peoople. In person and online. I miss being able to say something and it not be held, or threaten, or the fear of it being held against me. That is a online thing, not in real life, by the way.
I miss being me. And some are not going to like that person and I really don't care. On this site all I have to do is be polite to members who ask for help. Yes, polite to all members. I took on that job. Enjoy it most of the time. And if I don't want to do that- I lurk, like I am now. I don't answer messages, or help questions, like now. That is why you have so many upper admins. Spread that shit around.
I am sick, my throat is killing me, and spent most of the night coughing. Probably not the best mental state or physically place to start thinking of things but maybe it is. Rock bottom and all- as the saying goes.
So lets start being what I want to be. In my free time take what I want. Do as I want. The few hours a day I am free to sit, ask myself ' Ok, time to relax, what is it going to be?"
And the judgmental people who tell me I am off, or acting strange, or forcing myself to be a certain way or do certain things... I heard you. And I, while at least a few of you, said as much in I truly believe a caring way, in a way it just pointed out even more that I have played that act so much you might not even know the real me. I have off days. I have days I just be as happy sitting in my recliner, tv on, coloring in a book then dealing with the online stuff.
It isn't a swipe at you or your friendship. It is just I am tried of being judged for my off days. Or the reason you think I am having them. And the one who says "You forced yourself to come up with talk." You are correct. I don't need to be that. While I can talk to most people about anything- it takes two to do so. We all need to hear that, read that. Sometimes it isn't me. Sometimes it is you all. If I can face facts, see myself for my flaw, I think you all need to as well.
And I love each of you for those flaw. Just as I try to understand them, see its just a off day. I don't call you out, making judgement. But understand I have those too.
Don't worry about me- I am fine. I say that but also see the 'changes' you pointed out. I am seeing it too. And I see they need to be addressed. Its time for me, my desires and wishes. My needs. NEEDS. That is a word I want to keep in mind.
SO= as I am waiting for my pasta to cook, I ask myself... what do I need today? What is it I desire to do?
I need to rest, to recharge. Alone time. I miss that time the most. :) Off to give myself that.
Feel better Rattie. There is a viral thing going around here, hopefully it isn't something you have gotten there.
Love you! Rest. Reset. Have Rattie time. 😘
You do you and be you always. We as people often get lost, lose ourselves to the demands of others not realizing the damage we are doing to ourselves. So yeah take the "me" time, say what needs saying and just be unapologetically you.
I know this all too well
I wish you much strength
Greetings from Vienna Austria
Me time is so underrated and necessary. Your true friends are here if you need us just as you were there when we needed you *hugs*
2 nights in a roll. That's it- taking a sleeping aid. Wake me after noon.
Need to firgure out what the hell is going on in my head. Lay off the soda? Sugar? Meat? Drink more water?
No...thinking it's more emotional. Has to be, right? Not like the cold sore isn't a hint.
So... that is later. I need sleep first. Get a clear head.
Yea, hope you sleep better today…
I saw you on and thought again??? Whatever it takes, I wish you restful sleep!
Moonie words of wisdom in chat:
Crisco'd Moonie.. My thighs are wide.. My Rack is hangin low.. and Crisco helps me slide and go.
*said as we talked of going caving.
Note to self... when you can't sleep and it's around 4 a.m., if you log into VR.... you are swamped with messages. :)
Dang night Owls! I came on to rate, end up talking to you all.
VR- the site that is family. :)
See, now when I am back on night shift... I see your butt sign on at 4 am.... Imma message you to make sure you are ok... just as I always do! LOL!
Nothing like friends when you cannot sleep! :)
I know! But plenty of others filled you shoes CTD. :)
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