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birra's Journal


birra's Journal

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54 entries this month
 

Webcam

23:12 Jan 31 2011
Times Read: 922


Going to do a little basic cooking on cam... feel free to join in.


COMMENTS

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Learning life's lessons.

14:31 Jan 31 2011
Times Read: 912


My daughter is learning one today - an important lesson:


Rodents are some of the wiliest and resourceful mammals on the planet.


She has been asking, if not begging for months to get a hamster. Her mom decided she had shown the responsibility needed to be allowed this. She found someone online selling a used Habitrail set, she found a hamster at a rescue organization to be adopted - she adopted it and it has called the plastic box on her dresser home for a little less than a week now.


This morning her mom told me she heard mouse noises in a wall by the kitchen and asked me to set a trap. I thought, "Hmmm... a trap has been set for quite some time with no activity..." and asked my daughter to go check on her hamster.


And... well, you know what happened next, right?


So yes, through the tears of panic I managed to get the kids on the bus and off to school, then worked on fashioning a make-shift live rodent trap out of a 30-gallon plastic bin, a yard stick and a board...


...a million to one shot, but in that house, finding the little guy will be damn near impossible.


COMMENTS

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Morrigon
Morrigon
14:39 Jan 31 2011

Ah you never know...



I lost a few rodents in my time...





birra
birra
14:47 Jan 31 2011

We all have.



I had a lost hamster when I was about her age. Couldn't find it for weeks until I discovered a chewed up deck of cards...





sahahria
sahahria
15:04 Jan 31 2011

Get a ray next time- they are cleaner and smarter. All of my "lost" rats came back when I called their names :)





Morrigon
Morrigon
15:20 Jan 31 2011

I think she meant Rat.



Manta ray certainly wouldn't just run off on you though...





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
21:10 Jan 31 2011

Rats are better. A little cheese... and I come running. ;)





 

Enjoyable...

02:31 Jan 30 2011
Times Read: 948


...discussing with Morri tonight how she sometimes feels like she is bragging when she discusses her successes.


Well, so I'll brag a bit on her behalf. I assisted her with a photoshoot tonight - a shoot requested by someone who is not a model. Someone who saw Morri's work and hired her to take pictures of her.


I'm sure many of you will see the finished work on her website once she has some of the images edited and refined, but... I have to say... I feel this is an incredible step for her. To be solicited via her work and reputation alone by someone who is not part of the modeling or photography industry. Someone who simply wanted unique photos for their own personal use.


And the work.... not just the finished product. Not just the art she creates, but the WAY she creates it. The way she gets people to relax. The way she gets someone, like this client, to set up, pose, be at ease and enjoy the entire experience.


THAT is where so much of the magic happens.


So, yes. I'm bragging. She is good. Damn good. From start to finish, she absolutely amazes me.


COMMENTS

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Bones
Bones
02:35 Jan 30 2011

It's good to see her becoming more successful at something she obviously has a passion for.





sahahria
sahahria
02:49 Jan 30 2011

She is, isn't she :-D





RedQueen
RedQueen
00:10 Jan 31 2011

She deserves to be bragged upon. As do you- you guys not only do great work, but from what I can tell, you both could make anyone feel comfortable in that situation. I have worked with people that couldn't get a decent picture if their life depended on it, because they made their subjects highly uncomfortable. That's why I wish I lived closer, so I could get some pictures done for myself.





Nedra
Nedra
13:50 Jan 31 2011

Morri does amazing work.....and to tell others of that work is NOT bragging.



I have often thought about hiring her for photos but I live about 7 hours away ...... if my travels ever take me back to Buffalo I may just have to call.





birra
birra
14:48 Jan 31 2011

Back in October we had a model stay with us as she was traveling east from Chicago. It does happen.





 

Thinking and thinking...

20:27 Jan 29 2011
Times Read: 962


...I might need to grab a blank slate to take with me for this week's drive. I have words in my head that need to get put on paper... I just don't have the time to sit and sort them all.


Down time in the car might be a blessing right now...


COMMENTS

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Bones
Bones
22:29 Jan 29 2011

A digital voice recorder might be easier. I take one with me everywhere.





birra
birra
22:41 Jan 29 2011

It's not the same for me though. I've tried it.





 

Good eats.

04:55 Jan 29 2011
Times Read: 971


Amazingly, dinner came out wonderful.


Now for some down time and snuggling....


COMMENTS

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Cooking....

23:31 Jan 28 2011
Times Read: 985


...going to take the laptop and webcam to the kitchen for a little cooking. Not sure what it's going to be yet... but I think I may look to Martin Yan for inspiration.


COMMENTS

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I know, I know...

17:35 Jan 28 2011
Times Read: 1,009


...I get told I get down on myself too much. There are reasons. Not outward reasons - more inward but expressed outwardly. Maybe it's a bit like a negative self-affirmation. I'm not looking in the mirror and saying "I'm good enough, and I'm smart enough, and dog-gone-it, people like me." I'm looking in the mirror and saying, "Ok, there are some positives here but over-all, there is work to be done and a lot of room for improvement."


I'm not seeking perfection from myself - I know that is unattainable. I'm doing my best to stop trying to be everything to every body and make everyone happy above myself. Old habits die hard.


But internally there are things about me I just know I need to change to be happier within myself. It has nothing to do with anyone around me; this is all on and within me. I don't like the way some of my internal processes work nor do I like the outward end results. I'm working on those things. The negativity is part of it and sometimes my quest to better myself causes me to see myself in the most negative light instead of seeing and building on the positives.


It's a slow process to whittle away what the years and experience have taught me about me. I'm still on a quest of self-creation - like a sculptor that isn't happy with what he carved, but can't put the pieces back on the block.


It's a process. I am always in process...


Compliments and reassurances from my friends, although appreciated, I sometimes simply cannot get my mind around. I find it difficult to see what they see. Probably in the simplest terms, my history of knowing me goes back a lot further than their history of knowing me... that cloud of what was very often obscures what is or the possibilities of what is.


And journal entries like this are often my way of getting some of these thoughts out of my head and in my own eyes - to share what I am feeling with others that might feel the same. I'm not looking for sympathy, fishing for compliments or anything of the sort... simply expressing who I am and what I struggle with being me.


Take it at face value and with a grain, or a full shake of salt...


COMMENTS

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Selkie
Selkie
18:04 Jan 28 2011

Its always refreshing to read these kind of journal entries, and pretty damn inspirational too. So there :P





RedQueen
RedQueen
22:28 Jan 28 2011

I think you're adorable- course maybe that's just because you were hiding behind Morri's head when I was talking to you guys...lol





 

You want positive?

02:43 Jan 27 2011
Times Read: 1,055


Ok... I'm POSITIVE I'm going to sleep great tonight.


And no, not because of the tequila...


COMMENTS

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Bones
Bones
02:48 Jan 27 2011

I see sex in your immediate future. ;P





Morrigon
Morrigon
02:49 Jan 27 2011

Again?!?





birra
birra
02:52 Jan 27 2011

MUUUWWAAHAHAHAHA!



Why not?





RedQueen
RedQueen
03:50 Jan 27 2011

Best muscle relaxant there is.....





brileybeauford666
brileybeauford666
00:18 Jan 28 2011

Ohhhhh, come on. It's a little bit because of the tequila...right? The sex goes without saying of course.....





 

Because you asked... nay! Demanded it.

15:10 Jan 26 2011
Times Read: 1,067


I slept ok last night. Better than the previous couple, for sure. But I think I could sleep better... ;)


COMMENTS

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So...

00:26 Jan 25 2011
Times Read: 1,093


...when you have a variety of leftovers, but not enough of any one of them to make a meal... and you don't feel like cooking....


...you make, what Morri has deemed, the landfill wrap.


Damn good mix, too. Mmmm.. full belly.


COMMENTS

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Joli
Joli
01:12 Jan 26 2011

We throw it together in a pot with onion, bellpepper and rice and call it Mustgo.





RedQueen
RedQueen
04:11 Jan 26 2011

Sounds like hashed up to me...same principal, different ingredients- also, in the south, we call it adding to the pot to feed the extra people that walked in.,..lol





brileybeauford666
brileybeauford666
00:20 Jan 28 2011

Ha! It's called "Toppas" right? (or topas...I only spell in english)





 

Hmmm....

22:29 Jan 24 2011
Times Read: 1,110


...me thinks someone is doing some serious "padding."


COMMENTS

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Morrigon
Morrigon
22:45 Jan 24 2011

they're real! GOD. Do you hear me crinkle when we hug? I don't THINK SO....





ThothLestat
ThothLestat
22:56 Jan 24 2011

Oh, you weren't talking about my sock.

Thanks!





Blackstaff
Blackstaff
23:06 Jan 24 2011

Padding? Like foot padding (e.g. a sneak thief) or padding as in "my resume says I can juggle eight cats while typing a thesis" padding?





brileybeauford666
brileybeauford666
00:21 Jan 28 2011

It's called the "Victoria Secret Bombshell Bra".....and I revere it as a God-ess lol





 

Hrmmm...

16:12 Jan 24 2011
Times Read: 1,143


...the neighbors must be burning hickory. The whole office smells like barbecue.


Either that or they decided to cook up all those dead hookers...


COMMENTS

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NocturnalMistress
NocturnalMistress
17:01 Jan 24 2011

o.0





Blackstaff
Blackstaff
17:29 Jan 24 2011

Either way it smells like BBQ, which is the point :)





sahahria
sahahria
18:09 Jan 24 2011

*gags a little at last comment*



So bring veggies when I visit? O.o





birra
birra
18:22 Jan 24 2011

A side dish, yes.



What wine pairs best with barbecued hooker... hmmm...





Joli
Joli
18:54 Jan 24 2011

maybe a nice Fat Bastard red





birra
birra
18:56 Jan 24 2011

Hmm... I was thinking a white. I guess it might depend on the cut, too...



*ahem*





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
20:08 Jan 24 2011

I will just bring wine. Or baked beans.



Think- drunk Rat farts added into the mix...



Ewwww.





Blackstaff
Blackstaff
23:05 Jan 24 2011

Woohoo, with Fava beans :) Hannibal would be proud.





RedQueen
RedQueen
04:13 Jan 26 2011

Well, if we are contributing to the rat fart population, I'm bringing devilled eggs...lol





brileybeauford666
brileybeauford666
00:23 Jan 28 2011

Humph...dead hookers smell like barbecue? Who knew?





 

Ideas...

23:49 Jan 23 2011
Times Read: 1,159


...I have an idea for a photoshoot, but I need to make a headdress. Something that gives a warrior feel, but in a very natural, almost aboriginal way.


Or, I at least need to find one...


And a spear... I will need a good spear.


COMMENTS

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NocturnalMistress
NocturnalMistress
00:06 Jan 24 2011

Still have any chicken feathers and any bones left over? ;)



Could always go all natural with those.... :P





brileybeauford666
brileybeauford666
00:28 Jan 28 2011

Sorry, all I've got is a riding crop, boots with spurs and a set of handcuffs. Guess that's a whole other shoot altogether...huh?





birra
birra
02:48 Jan 28 2011

Soooo... when are you coming to visit? :)





 

Big BJ Raji for the touchdown....

22:53 Jan 23 2011
Times Read: 1,166


...but, in other news.


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Whoa...

20:10 Jan 23 2011
Times Read: 1,183


...Morri makes her tequila mid-days a lot stronger than I do...


COMMENTS

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RedQueen
RedQueen
22:01 Jan 23 2011

I can't drink tequila anymore- it tends to make me want to kill people, and usually with people who are WAY bigger than I am.



So much for ten feet tall and bullet proof...lol





brileybeauford666
brileybeauford666
00:24 Jan 28 2011

And that would be a problem why?





 

I need money!

17:34 Jan 23 2011
Times Read: 1,194


I just found one of my suppliers has the Nikon D90 with 18-105MM for $949.


SOOoooOoooo temped....


COMMENTS

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Joli
Joli
19:25 Jan 23 2011

What do you use now?





birra
birra
20:08 Jan 23 2011

A D40X...



..with the shoot in 2 weeks, I'd love to have the upgrade before then...





brileybeauford666
brileybeauford666
00:26 Jan 28 2011

Wow...you must really be salivating. You spelled tempted wrong. You never spell anything wrong.





 

Saturday night cooking...

23:44 Jan 22 2011
Times Read: 1,225


...I'm going to fire up the webcam here in a bit down in the kitchen. Nothing formal - just going to cook and talk to whom ever wants to join in.


COMMENTS

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Nedra
Nedra
16:27 Jan 23 2011

I am sorry that I had to leave before it was finished. How did it all turn out?





birra
birra
16:29 Jan 23 2011

Turned out great! I might have the leftovers for breaksfast. :)





brileybeauford666
brileybeauford666
00:34 Jan 28 2011

Dang. I missed it. I so love the RAVE Foodnetwork when it's "Cooking with Birra"......





birra
birra
02:50 Jan 28 2011

It is nice to be appreciated. :)





 

Gettin' old...

22:33 Jan 22 2011
Times Read: 1,231


...the skin on my hands is rough. I've always had problems keeping it soft. Water and dryness ravages my skin.


Just now I looked at my hand in the mirror before I began to shave... and I saw... an old hand. Way older than the rest of me. It looked like... the hand.. of the Emperor.


Too bad I don't have sith lightning though. I could use that at times.


COMMENTS

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Morrigon
Morrigon
23:28 Jan 22 2011

Hmm.. I don't see it.





birra
birra
23:43 Jan 22 2011

I know the back of my hand like... well.. the back of my hand. Although I do feel pretty young, I still envision myself as I was growing up... I see how I am aging.



Perhaps I'm just more sensitive to it. I'm definitely more critical of myself. But I see the lines, the wrinkles, the way the skin is changing. It doesn't disturb me... a little extra Curel after my shower helped.



Getting tan again would probably help, too. Heh.





ChasingTheGhost
ChasingTheGhost
00:44 Jan 23 2011

Nooooo tanning. Skin cancer is bad stuff! Vaseline... it works.





ImageMaker
ImageMaker
01:18 Jan 23 2011

You know I saw a chick on some reality show once who wanted to get a "hand lift" you know like a face lift only for her hands. Weird.





birra
birra
01:43 Jan 23 2011

Hands show your age more than your face sometimes.





brileybeauford666
brileybeauford666
00:31 Jan 28 2011

Hands always show your age more than your face. Always...ALWays.......ALWAYS DAMN IT!





 

Hrmmm...

15:45 Jan 22 2011
Times Read: 1,248


....I really want to get snow shoes. I think they would be great to have so I can spend more time exercising outdoors in the winter.


I'm going with this whole weight loss thing. I feel good - nothing aside from stress and the fatigue of emotional strain lately is really bothering me... and that fatigue is subsiding as I move along with the things that I have to do.


I know I have some professional obstacles ahead of me, but I'm going to work on a few things.


Self improvement - getting back on that path - being a big one.


Snow shoes... hmmm...


COMMENTS

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Requiem
Requiem
21:23 Jan 22 2011

Snow shoes would be a great investment! Even at my heaviest, my friend Becca and I managed to snowshoe through Vale pass. It was a good hike, good exercise, and novel enough for me (Texan, yes?) that the exercise, while work, was more fun than anything.





brileybeauford666
brileybeauford666
00:33 Jan 28 2011

Screw the snow shoes. Just move to a warmer climate where you can be outside all year. That's my plan. Caribbean breezes and crystal clear waters are calling my name........





 

Tough questions...

18:56 Jan 20 2011
Times Read: 1,275


...I see it more and more.. there is a sensitive balance between the self and maintaining a healthy co-existence within a relationship.


So where does the healthy balance reside?


Obviously it is up to the individuals to figure that out - what works for both. Feelings and thoughts cannot be disregarded on either side and open communication can go a long way to assuaging fears, insecurities and the general suspiciousness that is bound to occur...


...no matter how open a relationship is, human emotions to one degree or another are bound to prevail given different situations. It has always been and will always be that way. We can't help it. It is human nature.


What is the key? Listening. Truly listening. That is the best place to start.


And the realization by both people that there are fears... anxiety... insecurity... and it's natural. But keeping an even-keel and listening and doing your best to understand how each other feels... so much of that can be overcome.


I'm not preaching this - this is not a how-to-guide. I am human and I fall well into the imperfect, mistake ridden, prone to errors of judgment side of the spectrum as well. Sometimes, I just have to put the words in front of me.


Patience.


Understanding.


Listen intently.


Communicate openly.


And stop being such a screw-up in general.


Working on it...


COMMENTS

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Joli
Joli
19:48 Jan 20 2011

In general...you are one of the least screw-up people I know. You're as human as the rest of us, doing your best and making the occasional misstep. Give yourself a break or I break-a you face!





Blackstaff
Blackstaff
20:26 Jan 20 2011

It makes it a bunch easier when BOTH parties are doing this ;) One sided ANYthing will never work in my experience. Maturity, mental stability and honest, frank discussion are the hallmarks of this as well.





NocturnalMistress
NocturnalMistress
22:26 Jan 21 2011

I couldn't agree more with you...



Except you are not a screw up. A screw up does nothing but "screw up" but technically, as humans, we are all bound to screw up some point in life but learning from that screw up and learning to prevent the situation of the "screw up" from happening again speaks miles of who you were, are, and becoming.



And I am the last person on the face of the Earth to speak of that, 'cause the lord's only know how much I screw up on a daily basis. lol





moonkissed
moonkissed
16:54 Jan 22 2011

I think along with everyone else who has commented I dislike the use of the word screw up. It is a self-imposed derision which has been placed upon you by an outside source. Self-Esteem is also important in a relationship, a certain amount of ego and sonfidence in your partner and the relationship itself is extremely important.

I will go down the list,

Patience; yes.

Understanding; definately but do not forget acceptance. Anyone can understand but in supporting a relationship a person must be able to accept their own limitations and limitations of their partner and try to build from there.

Listen intently; but not to intently. There is a time to listen and a time to simply hear. No one wants to be smothered any more than they want to be neglected. Learning the balance between listening and being intrusive is very important.

Communicate openly; this is a MUST. There is never anything which should ever be kept from a partner, no matter how big or small. Little omissions can grow into big lies so fast it will make your head spin. I am not saying things like birthday and christmas surprises; I think you know what I mean. Compliments and flirtations advances from outside parties are things which when shared with your partner should strengthen the bond not weaken it.

Jealousy has no place in a relationship.

While screwing up does happen considering ones self to be a screw up is dangerous to the relationship. It is a self perception which must be changed and can only be changed with time and acceptance of ones self.



There I have said what I had to say and now you have made me tired and my brain hurts :P





birra
birra
21:56 Jan 22 2011

That makes it all sound so much more complicated. Like there is such a delicate balance.



I don't think it needs to be that delicate when both partners are on the same page, but getting to that same page is what all of this is about.



I don't think listening intently is smothering.





moonkissed
moonkissed
03:02 Jan 23 2011

Human emotions are delicate :)

It seems hard at first but once you get the rhythm it seems effortless. The problem is that no one wants to work hard at it anymore. Relationships are disposable, I am making a generalization here.



I may have misunderstood on the listening intently. I probably did actually.





 

Nagging...

15:53 Jan 19 2011
Times Read: 1,299


...I should just stop eating for a while methinks...


COMMENTS

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Blackstaff
Blackstaff
16:23 Jan 19 2011

OR...do the other thing :)





birra
birra
17:01 Jan 19 2011

The other thing? Force myself to vomit immediately after a meal?



Nah, I'm just having trouble right now, feeling nauseous after I eat. Stress related, is my guess...





brileybeauford666
brileybeauford666
21:20 Jan 21 2011

Try my remedy. Vodka.....it's my milk of amnesia.





 

...

18:26 Jan 18 2011
Times Read: 1,310


...looks like the hand is on the other foot now, isn't it, Kramer?


COMMENTS

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Cooking

04:36 Jan 18 2011
Times Read: 1,321


Had a nice show tonight - thanks to all that attended. Hopefully you learned a little including, Ocean Perch skin is tough to cut and I cuss a lot when things go wrong or the music I have on sucks...


COMMENTS

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RedQueen
RedQueen
22:07 Jan 18 2011

I think it only served to make it more real, and to show that real people can cook- and flub up now and then





 

01:08 Jan 18 2011
Times Read: 1,333


Cooking show tonight... thinking it will probably start around 9:30 with me doing my dishes...


Excitement abounds, but it will be a good, quick meal tonight.


COMMENTS

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Like Dick Butkus

03:33 Jan 17 2011
Times Read: 1,351


...when a last name like Popadick appears on your radar, it's tough to forget it...


COMMENTS

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NocturnalMistress
NocturnalMistress
03:43 Jan 17 2011

Pop-a-dick.



Yep.



I am officially never going to forget that name and will probably find a joke in it later on when I am not in pain...



:P





WallFlower
WallFlower
05:54 Jan 17 2011

Well, one day, the parental was watching the history channel; something about world war 2. The shriveled old man that was speaking, his last name was Hymenshocker. Or maybe his name was Hyman Shocker. Either way, it was pretty funny.





Blackstaff
Blackstaff
16:25 Jan 19 2011

Right up there with Michael Hunt...lol.





 

Cooking show...

17:16 Jan 16 2011
Times Read: 1,369


..yep, considering a cooking show for tomorrow night. I'm going to title this series, "Cooking with Birra - Making Good Cooking Look Bad."


Just wondering what I should make... hmmm...


...we've done Buffalo wings, stir-fry, salmon, lasagna and their required sauces...


How about quick-coated pan fried sea perch and fish-wraps?


COMMENTS

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Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
18:00 Jan 16 2011

Reads as I eat cold left over pizza... hating you.



Mmmm.... sea perch.






ladySnowStrixx
ladySnowStrixx
01:06 Jan 17 2011

yummy , sound delis.





NocturnalMistress
NocturnalMistress
03:44 Jan 17 2011

...and I have to work from 5-11 meaning I am going to miss this delish meal.



But I think the idea sounds great. :P





chrysanthemia
chrysanthemia
01:26 Jan 18 2011

Well, I'm sorry as hell that I missed out on the buffalo wings.





 

Ohhh... no you didn't.

23:37 Jan 15 2011
Times Read: 1,391


Oh yeah. It's on now.


COMMENTS

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chrysanthemia
chrysanthemia
00:07 Jan 16 2011

Like Donkey Kong?





 

Grand Funk...

14:20 Jan 15 2011
Times Read: 1,413


...I'm getting closer to my home...

...I'm getting closer to my home...

...I'm getting closer to my home...

...I'm getting closer to my home...

...I'm getting closer to my home...

...I'm getting closer to my home...

...I'm getting closer to my home...

...I'm getting closer to my home...

...I'm getting closer to my home...

...I'm getting closer to my home...


COMMENTS

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Requiem
Requiem
14:55 Jan 15 2011

I adore that song.





Morrigon
Morrigon
15:09 Jan 15 2011

AAIRGH..





RedQueen
RedQueen
21:24 Jan 15 2011

Crap. I have to work a Chirstmas party tonight (yeah, I know) and now Ima hear this in my head for the rest of the night....



*giggle*



But I have such a picture of you in an old fashioned sailor suit...lol





 

Yeah...

05:14 Jan 15 2011
Times Read: 1,434


..nah, I'll just celebrate by myself.




YAY!

COMMENTS

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Morrigon
Morrigon
06:18 Jan 15 2011

I got my swim trunks!!!





Morrigon
Morrigon
06:18 Jan 15 2011

I got my swim trunks!!!





birra
birra
07:59 Jan 15 2011

and my flippy-floppies





 

Sweet.

04:50 Jan 15 2011
Times Read: 1,436


Mission Accomplished.


I feel like singing "I'm on a Boat!"


Or something...


COMMENTS

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Garage cleaning...

03:56 Jan 15 2011
Times Read: 1,440


...well, might as well start the exercise with some good, solid lifting activities.


One of the cons of my house though is, it has a lot of stairs...


...of course, one of the pros of my house is, it has a lot of stairs.


I attribute my office being 2 levels from the printers and scanner in the basement office to part of my recent weight loss as it is...


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I had my fun...

02:57 Jan 15 2011
Times Read: 1,443


...the webcam time was fun. But now it's time to get cracking on some house work.


Stuff to do - tomorrow will be my day for more fun. I have a friend I have to cheer up tomorrow...


COMMENTS

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It is still required...

16:44 Jan 14 2011
Times Read: 1,471


....knowing there won't be a word of encouragement, a critique, a pointer or... especially a late night discussion about... everything. It is discouraging and often stops me from putting my thoughts down on some virtual paper...


...it is a loss I have mourned.


COMMENTS

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Blackstaff
Blackstaff
18:50 Jan 14 2011

You got my Skype and I will start keeping it live if ever you just feel the need to chat or whatever.





birra
birra
21:15 Jan 14 2011

Thanks man. You're one of a kind and a great guy to have a friendship with.



Likewise, my skype and gtalk are always on for you too.





 

Right...

06:10 Jan 14 2011
Times Read: 1,485


...long day. My Saturday schedule just cleared a bit though.


I can change my plans... and do something for me.


I think that would be a good move...


COMMENTS

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NocturnalMistress
NocturnalMistress
06:26 Jan 14 2011

*Raises a glass to you*



Enjoy your Saturday night! :)





Joli
Joli
16:27 Jan 14 2011

Sounds like a GREAT move.





 

Contemplating...

15:08 Jan 13 2011
Times Read: 1,507


I’m resisting the urge to climb back into bed. I slept terribly last night and am feeling pretty lousy this morning. Bed is definitely calling, but I guess coffee and a warm dog on my lap will have to do.


Soul searching. I’m doing a lot of it right now. Of course, for me, that often begs the question if I’m searching for a soul to see if I have one at all. There is no question that I have a lot of conflict working within me these days. I’ve considered some of my current feelings that are brewing inside of me, and it surprises me a bit that fear is definitely one of them. I’m trying to figure that one out.


I remember a day in Kodiak, Alaska when I was bound and determined to get some good pictures. Despite the rain, the unfamiliarity with the area, I wasn’t afraid. I was alone – I found wild Bison and pursued them over hills covered with soaking wet, waist high wild flowers and grasses. I wasn’t afraid. I found Kodiak bears fishing for salmon in a river and stepped down the shore to get closer to take pictures, and I wasn’t afraid. Another time I travelled up a mountain in a below zero wind-chill and started hiking on a ski trail completely underprepared for the snow storm that was coming over the mountain, and I wasn’t afraid.


There is no danger here. So why do I feel fear?


Am I not used to seeking precarious and even dangerous situations? Do I not throw caution to the wind in search of adventure? Aye, but this is different. And the fear mixes with all the other emotions running wildly through me this morning. Anxiousness, uncertainty… perhaps not knowing for sure is the toughest part. But I have to face this. It might be difficult, even painful… but I have to face this head on, man up and do what has to be done.


I mean… all I have to do is read a couple of books to twenty kindergarteners. Is THAT so tough?


…sheesh.. Suck it up, Birra.


In other news, my wireless microphone for my camcorder arrived. Going to have to play with this a little today.


Still debating a quick weekend down to Tampa with Faeriemoon… it would be nice to visit her. Just wondering if I can get away…


COMMENTS

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PAGAN
PAGAN
15:21 Jan 13 2011

be very afraid. 20 kindergarteners is a LOT



haha :P





Joli
Joli
15:52 Jan 13 2011

Be wary...they have cooties and they love to hug!





Blackstaff
Blackstaff
16:37 Jan 13 2011

All you need do to confirm your fear is watch Kindergarten Cop...just saying...lol.





birra
birra
16:38 Jan 13 2011

It's not a tooomaaahhh!



PandorasBx
PandorasBx
16:56 Jan 14 2011

Children are our toughest critics, it's the honesty. I have a feeling you will shine. And a little fear can be a good thing, it steers us to be better.





fallenangel51
fallenangel51
19:57 Jan 14 2011

Aww I miss having little ones, mine are in high school now.



I hope you had a great day with them and I am sure you did just fine.





 

Gawd...

01:26 Jan 13 2011
Times Read: 1,525


...this stir-fry is so damn good.


Thanks for joining me in the kitchen tonight to those who did!


COMMENTS

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NocturnalMistress
NocturnalMistress
01:33 Jan 13 2011

Glory Hole.



'nuff said. :P





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
02:03 Jan 13 2011

Great fun. :) Share a kitchen with you any day.





Daire
Daire
03:04 Jan 13 2011

Stir Fry.......tastey. I'm hungry now. Bastard.





PandorasBx
PandorasBx
16:57 Jan 14 2011

One of the few foods I enjoy depending on the ingredients, sorry I missed it :(





 

Cooking show

22:49 Jan 12 2011
Times Read: 1,536


I'll be cooking on cam in a little while... maybe about 6:30ish. See everyone then!


Oh, Stir-Fry. Good stuff. As per Requiem's request, I believe.


COMMENTS

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Requiem
Requiem
01:06 Jan 13 2011

Eff! Eff eff eff! I got home late. >.o I shall not put more requests in. I am a tardy tard.





NocturnalMistress
NocturnalMistress
01:12 Jan 13 2011

Totally dug it :P





 

Art of sorts...

17:27 Jan 12 2011
Times Read: 1,553


I did put the pictures of Rachel on my website as well.


www.livinginthebuff.com


As soon as I get this SOW written for tonight's conference call, I'm going to start working on a few blog entries there.


Stay tuned!


COMMENTS

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Joli
Joli
18:06 Jan 12 2011

They look great!





 

A better day, indeed...

02:44 Jan 12 2011
Times Read: 1,568


...a sincere thank you to all my friends that gave me a boost yesterday when they knew I was down.


Today was a much better day.


I made a discovery in a new friend today which has already been invaluable.


I have had continuing conversations with a new business contact which, again, has been invaluable.


Most importantly I feel more centered and responding to things around me with some thought instead of wildly running emotions. Emotions are wonderful... but like alcohol and religion, need to be used in moderation. I'm thinking clearly. I'm able to calm myself when I feel my emotions boiling up. I'm picking myself up from where I stumbled and looking ahead on the path again, instead of behind.


I have a feeling a large milestone will soon be behind me, and I have a positive vibe about that.


I have work to do in order to make things happen - always a good thing!


And, I have a weiner dog that is constantly trying to jump in my lap... he's so sad and dramatic. Heh...


COMMENTS

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NocturnalMistress
NocturnalMistress
03:05 Jan 12 2011

I am extremely happy you are doing better.

The glitter man can not glitter with a frown! ;)

(Smile, you know you wanna :P)



But in all seriousness, I am glad you are feeling better and things are starting to turn around and look up for you.



:)





 

Ironic...

17:14 Jan 11 2011
Times Read: 1,578


...this new business contact just emailed me an eBook called, Rework.


...rework... reinvent... remake... revise...


...I think I see a pattern...


COMMENTS

-



 

Pondering...

14:32 Jan 11 2011
Times Read: 1,588


...so many fellow business professionals have suggested I read SunTzu's The Art of War, yet I still haven't.


I think it's time I get myself a copy...


COMMENTS

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Blackstaff
Blackstaff
15:36 Jan 11 2011

Planning on invading an economy?





xxKontradictionxx
xxKontradictionxx
02:51 Jan 12 2011

I also highly suggest The 48 Laws of Power and The Art of Seduction.






 

Soup du jour...

14:12 Jan 10 2011
Times Read: 1,609


I think today's play list is going to consist of Gerry Rafferty, Steeley Dan, Saga, Fleetwood Mac, some Cars... as I watch a digital blip make it's way past Parma...


...so close... but so far...


*sigh*


COMMENTS

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Blackstaff
Blackstaff
15:02 Jan 10 2011

Can't knock the classics ;)





imagesinwords
imagesinwords
17:25 Jan 10 2011

Like the Pavlov Effect- this entry worked on me as if it were a dog whistle.





 

Remembering when...

14:25 Jan 09 2011
Times Read: 1,634


...this morning I was contemplating life and some of the current struggles I've been through.


I'm off my path.


I made a commitment to myself years ago to change myself for the better. Be a better person. Be a better friend. Be a better partner.


I have strayed too far from that path.


But as I lay awake this morning I was reminded of my psychology lessons in college; in particular, a study done on athletes that looked into how physical pain changes the psyche. They found athletes - even the most mild mannered people - would suddenly become aggressive and combative when experiencing pain. Any pain. Not even something serious, but even pain as minor as muscle fatigue and cramping. At higher pain levels they could become altered, completely lose orientation and equilibrium.


A sort of reverting to animal tendencies of protecting themselves when they know they're more vulnerable.


Perhaps the same can be said of emotional pain. The twisting of the psyche due to heartache, hurt feelings, loss or the fear of loss. And prolonged, perhaps it simply becomes damaging to the person within the person.


I don't know if this explains why I strayed. Obviously, regardless of the hurting, I need to find ways to keep myself centered but when it all feels like everything around me is piling on at the same time and all I can do is try to keep up... it is difficult.


I talk... I express what I'm feeling and sometimes perhaps it is that twist inside - the change caused by stress and pain - that makes my words not quite right. That puts me on my haunches instead of on my knees with open hands. I can understand how that can evoke a defensive response but in this case I would hope the intention is received more than the posture.


But I'm going to work on getting back on my path and work on being... who I have been striving to be.


I'm sorry.


COMMENTS

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sahahria
sahahria
15:27 Jan 09 2011

I've been there too. It is why I would sit and bitch to those outside who love me, and then when the words came I would put them down in a letter. It made it easier to say what i needed opposed to the raw hurt I wanted to inflict which was not in my greater good or want.



But doing this -finding you is worth it - I believe in you.



*hugs*





Blackstaff
Blackstaff
16:32 Jan 09 2011

It's funny in a way, but I suspect there are more than a few on VR going through this right now, myself included. It is like some kind of festering wound that needs a lance to clean it out and get it healing right.



Perhaps it is just the time of the year, perhaps it is a collective thought permeating our age bracket. Let's hope that others beyond these virtual walls are feeling it to and make a positive change or at least the commitment to change this year as we all have.



Good fortune brother, ring me up anytime.





persianpaul
persianpaul
14:45 Jan 10 2011

I think Blackstaff may have a point. Perhaps it is an age thing, or maybe the time of year, but whatever it is, recognising that something may need to change is the first step. Life does get in the way sometimes and throw us off track. No big deal I think though, it all adds to the experience :)





 

16:18 Jan 07 2011
Times Read: 1,665


I wish I could comment on my comments...

I previously wrote a cute and remotely humorous comment but I timed out and "had to be logged in" etc so you get this instead. Love it.


I do love it! A good example of someone NOT taking themselves so seriously.


COMMENTS

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Abstract
Abstract
16:34 Jan 07 2011

Beef on weck.



Just so I can show my boyfriend what it is. :D





birra
birra
18:51 Jan 07 2011

It's delicious, is what it is.



Especially with horseradish.



Lots of horseradish. Or even some Weber's Mustard. Yeah! That's the ticket!





 

14:40 Jan 07 2011
Times Read: 1,667


Cooking suggestions, anyone? With Morri heading to WI on Monday I'll be cooking for one for a week, so I figure I might as well make a show of it...


COMMENTS

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Requiem
Requiem
04:50 Jan 08 2011

Stir fry?





birra
birra
14:43 Jan 08 2011

Ok, I did that on one show back in December, but I can do another.





Requiem
Requiem
19:31 Jan 08 2011

=) I will do my damndest to attend. I love making stir fry. I also love watching people cook. *shrug* I think if I watched tv on a regular basis it would be the food network thingy where they have the cooking shows. Food network? yes, sounds right.





RedQueen
RedQueen
23:31 Jan 08 2011

If you do anything with seafood let me know-



Course there are always sammitches to be had...lol





 

Yep, it was a good one....

15:05 Jan 05 2011
Times Read: 1,697


...great audience last night on the Webcam Cooking Show - no less than 19 solid innuendos in the conversation and at least one reference to glory holes.


Interesting, to say the least.


And apparently, one of these days my house is going to be filled with VR members just so I can cook for them... that would be fun!


COMMENTS

-



ImageMaker
ImageMaker
16:52 Jan 05 2011

I stopped by for literally just a second, but it was an entertaining second! Do it again, do it again!





ladySnowStrixx
ladySnowStrixx
17:26 Jan 05 2011

Yes We all had a great time it was a lot of fun , I still want that veggie sauce recipe .





birra
birra
18:07 Jan 05 2011

Next time I cook it, I'll do it on webcam and let you know. ;)





NocturnalMistress
NocturnalMistress
19:48 Jan 05 2011

Heh heh If I came up there you would fatten me up with good foods and I won't wanna leave! ;P





Glory Hole... Is the new "in"...



xD





xxKontradictionxx
xxKontradictionxx
20:06 Jan 05 2011

Yes, it was fun; now you *do* understand why I had to bounce, yes?





Until next time..





 

I have gurggling in my pipes!

05:08 Jan 05 2011
Times Read: 1,719


It's almost like diarrhea, except exciting and I feel accomplished. Yes, I have fixed the heating issue with the bar room zone - we can now go in there without freezing our asses off!


Ok, small accomplishment - but it always feels good to troubleshoot something that you know little about, like a synchronized zone heating system on a boiler, figure out the problem and make it work again.


I took some steps today that have me in a better state of mind. I reached out to a friend I've been ignoring for too long. I asked a favor from a customer, had it received and managed a good new business contact from it - hopefully that will turn into something worth while. I kicked my recent negativity aside, cooked on webcam tonight and had a lot of fun doing it with many fun friends here too.


Hopefully the positive energy I'm ending the day on will translate into a good night sleep for a change.


COMMENTS

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NocturnalMistress
NocturnalMistress
05:51 Jan 05 2011

I hope you have a positive night and a great sleep!



I will now dream of Italian men cooking lasagna while wearing a red apron and dancing away doing the salsa.

LMAO



I have also decided to use the word Glory Hole in more of my vocabulary.



It is entertaining enough to do so, lmao xD



I had fun, you are a trip!





 

In the kitchen....

02:30 Jan 05 2011
Times Read: 1,729


...I skipped the cooking show last night - and was considering skipping it tonight too. But, I'll be doing some prep work for tomorrow's meal tonight if anyone cares to join...


COMMENTS

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ladySnowStrixx
ladySnowStrixx
04:51 Jan 05 2011

I joined and had a very good time , you are very entertaining and funny .I loved it. Thanks





NocturnalMistress
NocturnalMistress
05:52 Jan 05 2011

You.



Are.



Funnah.



You should cook more often on cam.



I am glad I woke up to be able to catch you prepping dinnah for tomorrow.



Don't forget to sacrifice some of it to the computer Gods so they don't get mad lmao...





 

On with the show!

19:32 Jan 02 2011
Times Read: 1,756


There is sauces to be made! Rawr!


Show starts... now.


COMMENTS

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Blackstaff
Blackstaff
19:44 Jan 02 2011

Damn man, the game is on...lol.





xxKontradictionxx
xxKontradictionxx
21:33 Jan 02 2011

WHOOMP!



Caught the End!



Time to shamelessly shill you in my Journal!





DarknessBound
DarknessBound
10:14 Jan 03 2011

aww i missed it. poop! =(





 

Cooking with... hangovers...

18:41 Jan 02 2011
Times Read: 1,767


...the cooking show has hit a delay or two. Mainly, I don't feel like moving. And when I do, there is a significant lag time.


But never fear - I'm off to get my artichoke hearts and I will return to start making sauces!


COMMENTS

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Blackstaff
Blackstaff
18:53 Jan 02 2011

Too many scotch refills?





birra
birra
19:31 Jan 02 2011

Yes, a few, few too many. Heh.





 

WOOT!

00:22 Jan 02 2011
Times Read: 1,791


Thanks to all who joined the cooking show.


Tomorrow - both a vegetarian and non-veretarian pasta sauce in preparation for our lasagna, year-end celebration.


COMMENTS

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Blackstaff
Blackstaff
00:26 Jan 02 2011

I plugged it in my journal too ;)





Daeva
Daeva
01:01 Jan 02 2011

Yay!



Awesomeness; Hope I'm here.





Deity
Deity
07:07 Jan 02 2011

I missed it!!! :( :( :(





 

Tonight, it's ON!

21:53 Jan 01 2011
Times Read: 1,807


Cooking starts shortly.


Check out the new blog entry at www.livinginthebuff.com.


:)


Yes, shameless self-promotion is my specialty.


COMMENTS

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DarknessBound
DarknessBound
22:38 Jan 01 2011

looove ittt





PAGAN
PAGAN
22:42 Jan 01 2011

wonderful. Loving your work. Looking forward to more.





 

Wings and Things

19:10 Jan 01 2011
Times Read: 1,837


Cooking show today will be on webcam around 5PM EST. Today will be Buffalo Wings made easy.


Seriously, it doesn't get easier that how I will show you to make them...


COMMENTS

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DarknessBound
DarknessBound
19:26 Jan 01 2011

I Will Be There!!! ^_^





Blackstaff
Blackstaff
19:32 Jan 01 2011

Count me in :) Any way we can get an ingredient list so we can cool along with you?





birra
birra
19:40 Jan 01 2011

Sure.



Chicken wings.



Olive oil.



Hot sauce.



Butter.



It's just that simple.





Requiem
Requiem
19:44 Jan 01 2011

Is there a substitute for butter one can use?





birra
birra
19:55 Jan 01 2011

Not if you want them to be authentic.



But yes... and I can review that while we're cooking.





BubbleGumClaudia
BubbleGumClaudia
19:59 Jan 01 2011

OOOOOOOOOOOO Yummy





Requiem
Requiem
20:26 Jan 01 2011

'kay =)





 

Raise a glass to 2010...

14:03 Jan 01 2011
Times Read: 1,856


...yep. 2010 wasn't the easiest of years. But the difficulties I faced make me realize how many good things I do have to appreciate.


My children are all strong minded, able bodied and healthy. That is an enormous blessing. I have a wonderful friend and partner in crime here with me in Morrigon - she amazes me beyond words and I am thankful and appreciative of everything she brings to my life.


My life may be taking new paths in 2011, but I am still directing where I go and I have a positive outlook. I know I can right the ship and make a better life for myself and all those around me. It will take effort, patience and a whole lot of... chutzpah.


I can do this.


Hope everyone had an enjoyable New Years Eve celebration. Now buckle up - the road is still bumpy and there is a lot of work to be done!


COMMENTS

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DarknessBound
DarknessBound
18:11 Jan 01 2011

Cheers, my friend. Happy New 2011 ♥





Blackstaff
Blackstaff
18:22 Jan 01 2011

~clink~ Here's to a great year.








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