Joli's Journal

Joli's Journal


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18 entries this month


23:01 Mar 31 2008
Times Read: 928

Bloodlife asked me about the Leprosarium entry in Exhalations and I wrote an answer in response. I thought a few of you might find it interesting as well, so I'm including it here, slightly edited.

BLOODLIFE wrote: How the blazes do you do it (Leprosarium)?!!!!!! What inspires you ...

Joli wrote: Well, I actually visited the Leprosarium in Carville, Louisiana. While nowhere near its heyday of 400+ patients, there are still residents who wish to live out their days there. It is the last functioning center of its kind in the United States.

Patients were brought there in chains sometimes and local residents threatened to shoot any who escaped the grounds, so it became a sort of prison. Mothers were not allowed to have babies there, etc...

There was an order of nuns who cared for them called the Daughters of Charity. They were nurses, researchers, and faces of compassion who tried to make time there as enjoyable as possible. It became a self-contained "village" with its own grocery store, post office, and the hallways were so long, that residents rode bicycles and tricycles indoors. They still do. I will never forget how eerie that was to see people riding to their rooms along the hallway where I was walking.

It was surreal and otherworldly. You cannot help but think that the rules that apply to the world you know are not in effect in that place. I saw gurneys and old wheelchairs that gave me chills, tucked into a dark room that was cracked open. There are still bars across the windows and an abandoned guard tower outside.

Most of the things I encounter that become entries here practically write themselves. They bump around inside me and demand to be heard. How could you visit a place like Carville and NOT write about it?!

*Please note that I do recognize that "leper" is an offensive term and I would only ever refer to the disease as Hanson's Disease if I were speaking on the subject. I chose the more charged word for literary effect.



23:34 Mar 31 2008

That is really fascinating. I love getting to read your works and hearing the stories behind them makes them all the more impressive, I think :)


Angel Food

16:41 Mar 29 2008
Times Read: 953

Do you guys know about Angel Food Ministries? It is a great way for you to save money on your groceries. Everyone can participate and no "qualifying" questions are ever asked. This is not a program "for the poor," although it can certainly help them as much as anyone. It's for anyone who wants to save money on groceries.


The way it works is, for $30 you get a bunch of food, mainly frozen meats. The menu changes every month and you are never obligated or pressured to order...you don't "join" anything. Just order if you like the food that month. If you order one regular $30 unit, you can opt to buy the specials...usually 3 or 4 specials are offered - steak and chicken boxes are pretty common, but they change, too. The food is all quality, not "seconds" and most of it will have a brand name you'll recognize.

You order the food and pay for it in advance, then show up on distribution day at the end of the month. It is offered all over the U.S. and there's probably a location near you. Check on it...you may save a lot!

I volunteer, taking orders a time or two a month, then on distribution Saturday, which is the last Saturday of most months (a little earlier in November and December for the holidays.) I have seen people return month after month with friends, pleased with the quality of the food and the friendliness of the volunteers.

Here is a link to all the host sites and info about Angel Food.

Angel Food




Innuendo - Part Deux

22:35 Mar 25 2008
Times Read: 1,026

[20:58:15] Joli : I'll be over here staring into Moony's bewbs for all the answers. When you let them go pendulous, Moony, hypnotize Stabb's 12 lb weiner away. Be a luv.

[20:58:44] CountessMoon : *gasp* I am just bewbs to you aren't I? *tear*

[20:58:50] CountessMoon : *puts hand over forehead*

[20:58:59] Joli : JUST?!

[20:58:59] STABB666 : I like mine to be a bit lighter...more easily maneuverable...

[20:59:40] CountessMoon : I am THE boob.

[20:59:43] Joli : well shit, stabb...why not attach handles and a kick start motor?

[21:00:15] Joli : like a weed whacker

[21:00:36] CountessMoon : Does it come with eye protection?

[21:00:38] Sevenn : that is an idea that deserves a patent, Joli

[21:00:49] Joli : that's why I have boobs

[21:01:17] CountessMoon : and a squeegee?

[21:01:33] Joli : I'll go in halfsies with you, Sevenn. We can get those 501 C-3s going now!

[21:01:54] Sevenn : lol...I'm sure someone would fund it

[21:02:06] STABB666 : If you are a charity, does that mean I have to give it to you for free?

[21:02:17] Joli : we'll kick it off with a raw oyster bar

[21:02:32] Sevenn : and crab salad...

[21:02:37] Morrigon : crab?!? mmmmm

[21:02:40] Sevenn : heh

[21:02:44] Joli : uh

[21:02:47] STABB666 : NO SHELLFISH!

[21:03:07] Joli : birra, you created a monster

[21:03:08] meeper : Squid!!!!!!

[21:03:13] CountessMoon : *backs away slowly*

[21:03:31] birra : she is

[21:03:39] Sevenn : ok we will give it a fancy italian name for you CM...calamari!

[21:03:43] Joli : that meeper is quiet, but when she talks, she gets it!

[21:03:58] STABB666 : i also am not particular to invertebrates...

CountessMoon : calamari is like eating a condom.. they both taste like a used rubber. Or so I've heard.

[21:04:19] Morrigon : I just like seafood....

[21:04:31] birra : have you ever had calamari?

[21:04:41] Joli : i think your forum moderating proves that, Stabb

[21:04:44] Sevenn : honestly, CM, things like that have to be done by people that know how to cook them

[21:04:51] Morrigon : a good tasting condom

[21:04:59] meeper : random word association is grand

[21:05:13] meeper : ewww

[21:05:24] STABB666 : I've never tasted a good condom...

[21:05:32] CountessMoon : I have had it once.. and it was... not my idea of a fun thing to eat. lol[21:05:38] Sevenn : what do you mean ewww? you said you liked mint

[21:05:51] meeper : do you often taste them Stabb? They make some flavored ones that really aren't half bad

[21:06:13] Sevenn : ohh...ok...I stand corrected...*ahem*

[21:06:30] STABB666 : i had it once...in a chinese seafood selection...it wasn't till i saw a sucker that I gagged...

[21:06:48] STABB666 : i would think that a condom would have about the same texture as calamari[21:07:11] CountessMoon : I find something odd about putting a banana flavored condom on something that can be oddly shapped like a banana and inserted into where some people should never insert bananas. [21:07:30] meeper : and yet some people do CM

[21:07:52] CountessMoon : That they do.. and.. people in ER's laugh at them

[21:08:00] STABB666 : banana? sheesh...they ought to be a bit more adventurous....like...a pineapple..

[21:08:03] Morrigon : I don't think banana flavored condoms are supposed to be inserted

[21:08:12] Morrigon : I'm sure they have pineapple

[21:08:17] Sevenn : they are supposed to be sucked

[21:08:32] STABB666 : oh...i thought....inserting...

[21:08:34] Sevenn : ...just saying...for the record...

[21:08:36] CountessMoon : Until the flavor is gone? and then insert?

[21:08:58] Morrigon : I don't know Moonie

[21:09:08] Sevenn : you guys are perverts

[21:09:14] CountessMoon : Or is it like gum? you suck the flavor out of it and then throw it away?

[21:09:16] meeper : Its like that gum that lasts forever

[21:09:17] STABB666 : why not get some fruity flavoured ones, then add some flavoured lube....like a pudding with sauce!

[21:09:42] Morrigon : dude no

[21:09:49] CountessMoon : Get all the right flavors and you can have a banana slit..erm.. split.

[21:09:51] Sevenn : thats perfectly reasonable Stabb

[21:10:01] Morrigon : Stabb you have the worst ideas

[21:10:05] STABB666 : a fruit cocktail?

[21:10:19] Morrigon : ok

[21:10:48] Sevenn : Morrigon! I disagree! Stabb is describing a tasty treat!

[21:11:03] Morrigon : well you go ahead then hah

[21:11:17] STABB666 : I would try that out....

[21:11:25] STABB666 : if I had to...

[21:11:33] STABB666 : for a dare...



23:50 Mar 25 2008


1. How do we get on these topics?

2. HOW do we keep talking about these topics for so long?

3. It's awesome

00:04 Mar 26 2008

Blame me!

I like to be the whipping boy. :P

01:46 Mar 29 2008

lol, i needed the giggle today. thank you so much for sharing this delight.


Kickass Night Where We Let Our Hair Down and Our Innuendos Run Free

22:27 Mar 25 2008
Times Read: 1,030

(This is a somewhat edited log of the other night where a group of us had a very rare chance to just goof off and be silly without being public. It was a great group of friends and sharing VR with this group is a real joy.)

[20:38:44] Joli : Morri's back :)

[20:38:47] STABB666 : he has returned...

[20:39:02] STABB666 : :) Welcome back!

[20:39:03] Sevenn : hello again morrigon!

[20:39:06] Irony : Hi morrigon:)

[20:39:07] meeper : Oh dear trouble

[20:39:20] CountessMoon : Wo0t Morri is back

[20:39:35] Morrigon : Uh huh hehe

[20:39:40] STABB666 : More showering?

[20:39:48] meeper : Showering rocks

[20:40:04] Morrigon : yeah hah that's it

[20:40:19] Joli : oh god

[20:40:28] Sevenn : I'm glad christian holidays always include yummy things to eat!

[20:40:29] STABB666 : Circle shower...

[20:40:30] Joli : you are all doing that on purpose!

[20:41:05] CountessMoon : soap.. lather.. rinse.. repeat!

[20:41:35] Joli : I like Morri for her mind, dammit.

[20:41:41] STABB666 : *sigh* I wish I were a woman...

[20:41:44] Sevenn : tommorrow I will eat all day!

[20:41:55] Sevenn : well for about 15 minutes, but still

[20:41:57] Joli : her lavender scented lathery mind

[20:42:14] Sevenn : Stabb, its not as fun when you own the boob

[20:42:42] STABB666 : see, thats where I always wondered...how do you even make it out of bed?

[20:42:46] Sevenn : hold your balls with no intention, same thing

[20:42:58] STABB666 : ahhh

[20:43:13] Joli : balls are SO not the same as boobs

[20:43:23] STABB666 : no, not at all

[20:43:27] Morrigon : squishy haha

[20:43:31] Sevenn : its an ownership thing I am trying to describe here...

[20:43:39] STABB666 : hairier, for one

[20:44:12] CountessMoon : I just have.. some image of someone jingling balls.. and rolling boobs. That's... alll I got.

*STABB makes crazy boob remark here*(edited)

[20:45:49] Joli : Oh god

[20:45:49] Joli : /me reviews her europe plans

[20:46:11] SYSTEM : birra has entered the room.

[20:46:18] Sevenn : *watches Joli order iron pasties

[20:46:20] Morrigon : Uh oh

[20:46:20] Irony : Hi birra:)

[20:46:26] Morrigon : I was naughty and sneekeded someone in

[20:46:28] Sevenn : howdy birra

[20:46:28] CountessMoon : You might want to check into a bewb armor plate before you go.

[20:46:29] birra : so this is where all the COOL people hang out?

[20:46:36] Joli : birra. I didn't do it.

[20:46:47] Joli : I want that made clear up front

[20:46:52] Morrigon : Joli has been flirting with me

[20:46:55] STABB666 : Hello birra

[20:47:00] Joli : LIES!

[20:47:12] Sevenn : Joli currently has larger issues to wit, ordering iron pasties

[20:47:15] CountessMoon : She's been rubbing your bean in her mind.

[20:47:18] birra : sure, sure Jo... I'm going to believe such an obvious fib?

[20:47:28] STABB666 : we're not cool, we're hot! :P

[20:47:36] Morrigon : Hawt DAYUM

[20:47:46] Joli : wow, my friends...throwing me to the wolves!

[20:47:57] Sevenn : *tasty*

[20:48:00] birra : heh

[20:48:03] STABB666 : I saw her. she was all over that shower cam...

[20:48:17] Sevenn : how's you birra?

[20:48:20] meeper : Lol

[20:48:25] CountessMoon : She made that bean smoke!

[20:48:27] Joli : Moony made me!

[20:48:47] CountessMoon : *shifty eyes* Me... never!

[20:48:50] birra : how is me? hmmm.. tired as all hell.. how's you sevenn?

[20:48:58] Joli : and I'll have you know, I mentally photoshopped in a bathing suit

[20:49:10] Joli : a small lathery bathing suit

[20:49:17] STABB666 : a really tight bathing suit...

[20:49:22] Sevenn : I was having a "mean" day, but thankfully I am relaxing.

[20:49:33] Morrigon : HAH

[20:49:36] CountessMoon : Make sure the top has some good support.. I'd hate to see you with a concussion.

[20:49:45] STABB666 : I like when you mean business Sevenn...

[20:49:47] Joli : by bathing suit, I mean more of a steam and soap trail

[20:49:55] STABB666 : lol

[20:50:01] Morrigon : what are you people talking about?

[20:50:10] birra : relaxing is good

[20:50:14] STABB666 : nuthin....

[20:50:17] Joli : I have no clue...they just won't stop

[20:50:19] Sevenn : thats because you like a stern disciplinarian, Stabb ;)

[20:50:21] birra : so what is the relaxant tonight? rum? whiskey?

[20:50:28] Joli : nasty nasty things

[20:50:31] Irony : I don't know, I can't keep up:(

[20:50:31] Morrigon : oooh whiskey?

[20:50:32] STABB666 : oh, I do...

[20:50:35] meeper : Twisted Tea

[20:50:38] Morrigon : *stares sweetly at Birra*

[20:50:52] birra : oh my gawd...

[20:50:53] Sevenn : youghurt and juice for Irony, beer for normal people ;)

[20:51:11] Joli : I have one Purple Haze left

[20:51:22] birra : oh no.. weiner games under the desk.

[20:51:33] Morrigon : ohh

[20:51:41] Irony : chances are I am more out of it than a lot of you:D

[20:51:44] Morrigon : that's a TERRIBLE thing to say when we're both sitting in the office Brra

[20:51:44] STABB666 : I think I shall just save this log....

[20:51:53] Morrigon : sheesh

[20:51:59] birra : heh... hey, he's your weiner.

[20:52:15] Joli : oh god

[20:52:22] CountessMoon : *back scrolls for incriminating evidence*

[20:52:22] Morrigon : haha ohh and we just took it to a whole new level

[20:52:30] Joli : sooooo...sevenn

[20:52:38] birra : if I don't take it too far, who will?

[20:52:39] Sevenn : yes, Maam?

[20:52:41] birra : WHO WILL??????

[20:52:45] Joli : please...say anything

[20:52:54] Morrigon : hahaha

[20:53:11] birra : I have officially scared Joli.

[20:53:17] birra : Damn. I'm good.

[20:53:24] Sevenn : that reminds me of the 80's movie where I should put a ghettoblaster (how rascist is that) on my shoulder outside your window...

[20:53:50] Sevenn : I'm not afraid of birras weiner: thats Morrigons issue

[20:53:50] CountessMoon : *snort*

[20:54:16] Joli : not so much fear as how visual I am

[20:54:18] Morrigon : You're god damn right it is

[20:54:27] birra : no, no... it's morri's weiner.

[20:54:29] Joli : wait...no...it's fear

[20:54:36] birra : well.. he's morri's weiner.

[20:54:48] Joli : ooooo kay

[20:54:50] Morrigon : arf arf?

[20:54:52] CountessMoon : You are afraid of the birra wang, Morri? lol

[20:54:58] Joli : so, that's established

[20:55:03] Morrigon : that just sounds funny

[20:55:05] STABB666 : how big is it

[20:55:10] Joli : stop saying it!

[20:55:14] Morrigon : over 12 inches

[20:55:22] STABB666 : wang![

[20:55:25] Morrigon : I can barely keep it under control

[20:55:30] birra : weighs, what? about 12 pounds?

[20:55:49] STABB666 : like a rattlesnake....

[20:55:55] birra : her weiner is chewing on a squeaky toy right now...

[20:56:07] Joli : birra, you were almost buying me a new laptop

[20:56:11] Sevenn : Its probably tasty with saurkraut and mustard

[20:56:16] Irony : Oh, is that the really cute one I saw pictures of?

[20:56:25] Morrigon : haha

[20:56:26] Joli : I came SO close to spewing it with soda when I read the 12 lb wang

[20:56:31] birra : did I catch you mid-drink joli?

[20:56:43] Morrigon : hellz yeah

[20:56:52] Joli : you did

[20:56:53] Morrigon : women see me walking down the street, holding my weiner

[20:56:58] Morrigon : they just gotta come up and pet it

[20:57:07] CountessMoon : I... learned something new tonight. Interesting...

[20:57:09] Irony : I certainly would:D

[20:57:10] STABB666 : don't be fooled. she loves to squirt it all over the keyboard...

[20:57:16] Morrigon : wait what?

[20:57:17] birra : they love stroking your weiner, morri...

[20:57:19] Irony : It's the most beautiful wiener I have ever seen.

[20:57:58] Morrigon : right! so um...editing pictures....




23:32 Mar 25 2008

Nice piece of editing there. lol

23:46 Mar 25 2008

Hah ohhh wow...Someone actually DID save the chaos...


I am fully prepared to thumb wrestle Sevenn for Meeper

21:18 Mar 25 2008
Times Read: 1,040

These random kinds of exchanges make my day. Keep your eyes peeled for those flashes, Meeper! (I even put this in the right order for you lazy readers who hate "bottom-up")


meeper wrote:

You're the bomb Joli!

Joli wrote:

That rumor is greatly exaggerated. The mushroom cloud was an unfortunate deodorant experiment that ran afoul. ;P

meeper wrote:

Next time might I suggest a nonscented anti-perspirant forumula.

Joli wrote:

Fine for you to say now...but where were you before I melted down a convent, 2 ballroom dancing schools, and a sensory deprivation clinic (boy, were THEY pissed!)

Joli wrote:

P.S. I really thought CurryPerspirant was a great idea. Who knew?

meeper wrote:

Curry? Are you out of your mind? Or did you steal all the clientel from a local Indian restaurant?

Joli wrote:

Hey! I thought a B.O. product that smelled like B.O. would appeal to them.

I never meant to hurt anyone :(

meeper wrote:

Sure thats what you say now... but think of the innocent children and baby bunnies that you hurt doing your little experiment.

Joli wrote:

Btw...tell Sevenn nothing. I shall signal you with 2 quick flashes and one long flash, (no, not a flashlight) then I will climb to your window and carry you away on my white horse (ok, he's a rental) and we will live happily ever after in my FEMA trailer on the bayou.

meeper wrote:

mum's the word to Seven about your rental horse and your trailer that is bound to be worse than the chemical fallout from your last experiment.




Friends in high places ;)

05:37 Mar 25 2008
Times Read: 1,070

Look who's in the #1 chair! And ain't the red box purdy underneath that picture! aaaaw I'm 4 rows back in the cheap seats.




06:01 Mar 25 2008

Now that just isn't right. Sentorans are WAAAY cooler than Acolytes dammit!

Just wait until that...Cancer dude gets online...Damn, he's always got to be in the #1 spot. Who does he think he is???

06:02 Mar 25 2008

P.S. I think my new avatar really says "Hello, I'm Morrigon, Pleased to meet you. Ask me anything you'd like, I'm here to lend some friendly help!"

06:54 Mar 25 2008

...and then I will eat you and spit out the bones :)

12:41 Mar 25 2008

...and give a loud belch not unlike god's lightning bolts coming from the darken sky.

*rat grins....then runs*

14:50 Mar 29 2008

..any prestige you've attained ..you've earnt.


Well Said!

01:29 Mar 24 2008
Times Read: 1,102

Morrigon, congratulations on making Acolyte! You are going to be an even greater asset to VR. Your passion and desire for standards are contagious. Here is a sample of our new acolyte in action in the forum, answering questions about posting rules in the vampbox:

Re: The Vamp Box

Posted: 15:11:20 - Mar 23 2008

Times viewed: 108

It's best to remain polite while asking questions.

When it comes to things like religion, violence, and sexual topics, treat it the same way you would as if you were posting in the main forum.

Any time someone steps over the line, a Dominar will handle it as they see fit, they have been given that position and are trusted to take each situation as a case by case deal.

If they feel something is inappropriate, *Zip* it's gone. No arguing.



01:48 Mar 24 2008

Morrigon RULES!

02:25 Mar 24 2008

Oh...my ego..too big...for...office....AAAH!

06:57 Mar 24 2008

Thats is one girl Im glad to see made it.

19:15 Mar 24 2008

Truly awesome:D Congratulations Morrigan, VR will be all the better for having you on staff:D


Too funny not to record for posterity.

17:14 Mar 22 2008
Times Read: 1,164

Me: Actually, I don't see how it doesn't throw off your balance.

B: It's like a tail - it helps.



20:34 Mar 22 2008

But but but.....what is ???? lol

00:24 Mar 23 2008

I think if I didn't have it I would fall over backwards


Crushin on Morri some mo'

07:36 Mar 19 2008
Times Read: 1,204

Thank you, Morri, for the coolio smoke on my profile. You are the bee's knees inside the cat's pajamas!



13:58 Mar 19 2008

*joking* Well... she said she was getting fed up with that ugly background that you had up before.


14:09 Mar 19 2008

*goes to take a look* x

19:46 Mar 19 2008

looking, that Morrigon is so talented, i'm jealous...

01:48 Mar 24 2008

I just used that saying the 'bee's knees' the other day, and the person I was speaking to didn't know what the heck I was talking about :P


This is my Dad's Favorite Joke.

22:31 Mar 17 2008
Times Read: 1,270

OK, Bloodlife, let's see if I can outdo you on naughty nun jokes. I knew this joke before I knew how to say, "da da." If you liquor up my dad and he starts telling it, my sister and I will likely murder you with our dinner spoons. Without further ado:

A novitiate to the Order takes her vow of silence and lives an austere and cloistered life of hard work, scrubbing floors, planting, harvesting, early morning matin prayers and evening vespers. Her cell is bare and the rations are sparse.

After 10 years of back-breaking labor, she is brought before the Mother Superior and offered the reward of speaking her first two words in all the many years she's served. She stays up all night wanting to make her words count. Next morning, she says to Mother, "Food Bad." The Mother thanks her and ushers her back into the convent and another 10 years of the same.

Upon her 20th anniversary, she is offered the same reward. After much thought, she speaks her carefully chosen words, "Bed hard." Mother again thanks her and she resumes her stern life.

At her 30th anniversary, the same honor is given her. This time, she quickly speaks her two words, "I quit."

The Mother Superior quipped, "About time...all you've done is bitch bitch bitch since you got here!"



00:28 Mar 18 2008

An oldie but goodie ....

You'll have to do better than that...

England 1 - 0 USA


STABB's Revenge

20:26 Mar 17 2008
Times Read: 1,290

Thank you, thank you, Ockham for pointing out that this cartoon is eerily reminiscent of STABB ever since he viewed the lovely teamwork stamp displayed in the previous entry. More than one death threat has been issued.

penny arcade

What a Silly Old Bear!



23:09 Mar 17 2008

LMAO!!! That is so STABB!!! HA HA HA



07:16 Mar 16 2008
Times Read: 1,390

Introducing my new stamp that reflects and honors the collaborative relationship that Stabb and I share as moderators on VR. This is a pretty fair representation of the teamwork involved.

Vampire Rave - The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory - http://www/VampireRave.com



11:02 Mar 16 2008

A great reflection, and to quote:

"Isn't it funny how bears like...."

13:43 Mar 16 2008

Very nice!

13:53 Mar 16 2008


14:40 Mar 16 2008

ROFL, I am trying to imagine Stabb the Troll Killer as Winnie The Pooh

16:39 Mar 16 2008

I accidentally deleted Stabb's comment when I edited. Now I'm all sad that I don't see it here. He was the first one to comment and it said something close to:

"You like Klingons, right?

Remember the old proverb? Yes, that one.

Cold. Like risotto.

Mind my head."

18:14 Mar 16 2008

Awesome! All it needs now is more rainbows exploding from Pooh's arse.

"Making VR.. our own personal 100 acre woods."

21:11 Mar 16 2008

I want to thank Ockham for making it for me. You did a great job! *smooch!*

22:03 Mar 16 2008

lovely. :)

00:09 Mar 17 2008

aww, thanks :)

01:20 Mar 17 2008

I love it.

02:12 Mar 17 2008

LOL it doesn't get better than this! Does he complain when you bump him down the steps?

05:11 Mar 17 2008

Not sure if he complains to her, but moments after I made it I was receiving death threats.. :(

05:48 Mar 17 2008

You're definitely in his cross hairs.

06:54 Mar 17 2008

That's ok, it's a historical fact that the English have shitty aim.

21:53 Mar 17 2008

My one hope for you was that he'd do you in quickly. Now I fear a slow and drawn out death. Have you SEEN the Tower of London's torture chambers? Those Brits seem polite, sure...I'll grant you that. But under that affable exterior beats the heart of a madman...a well-mannered madman.

I love you, Ockham...but is it bad that I hope he lets me watch? The rack is SOOOOOO hot!

22:41 Mar 17 2008

Now now, we both know that Pooh-bear is too cuddly-wuddly to put someone on the rack.

Also, bears run kinda slow, in addition to having even worse aim than the English. I'm in no danger here :D

23:15 Mar 17 2008

Being that a Grizzly can hit 30Mph over a quarter mile, which is faster than the average human, and that we can climb trees, have excellent sense of smell, plus I'm psychic, I don't think you'll be getting too far...

I like good sport, the thrill of the hunt, the stealthy stalking of the ninja killer. You have a head start- it's all good. I can wait. Bears are rather good at waiting. Especially we British.

And the aim thing. Well, I have one phrase to remind you of: "Friendly Fire". Bright ORANGE flashes on our tanks. We get bombed by Americans. Bright green day-glo nightvision markers on our helmets. We get shot by Americans. Don't talk to me about aim.

The British army invented the sniper, btw.

I come from the loins of elite soldiers. I was born to kill before my enemy knows they're already dead.

Remember 'Vampirika'? No, of course you don't. He is dead by my hand. Well, mostly his own, but in the best tradition of The Ninja, all it took was the slightest nudge at the right moment and he proceeded to cut his own heart out.

Pooh Bear is meagre next to the doom which awaits you, dear fellow.

We shall not meet again, old chap, so take care and don't forget your jock strap.

Tally ho!

*baying fox hounds and the shrill of horns*

00:19 Mar 18 2008

Jo, what did I tell you about letting Pooh into the LSD?

00:21 Mar 18 2008

Bitch told me it was honey!

00:23 Mar 18 2008

Damn, he's insufferable once he starts seeing the f*&*ing heffalumps!

00:36 Mar 18 2008

By the way, when I'm on the rack and pleading with The Christ for the sweet mercy of Death's chill embrace, you're not allowed to call it a successful conversion, Jo.

00:38 Mar 18 2008

Hey, you spin it your way; I'll spin it my way. I calls em how I sees em.

00:42 Mar 18 2008

Don't you make me post stolen pictures of Satan at the Last Supper and skulls with devil horns all over my profile to show that my evil deity can beat up your good one as a thinly veiled play at imbuing myself with the cool mystique of the Fallen Star to hide the mediocrity of my own life.

00:47 Mar 18 2008

Don't make me call 1-800-SMITE!

00:56 Mar 18 2008

It turns out that NEVER2BLUVED deleted his profile, so I don't have a convenient one-stop-shop location for all my Thieved Internet Devil Picture needs anymore :(



21:23 Mar 15 2008
Times Read: 1,456

I'm at peace. Sometimes we are misunderstood, but I know who I am. I know myself and my heart. If anyone mistakes that for their own reasons, that is their right.

Know me or do not. I am careful where I invest my heart and my care. Even so, sometimes I still find a way to misplace it. It can be sad to discover that, but I am adult enough to handle disappointment in other people. I can handle this, too.

Perhaps some day, when you re-add your careful math, you will find a vital error. Perhaps you will never re-check, and that's ok, too. Much peace to you.



21:32 Mar 15 2008

I'm glad to know you, to understand you, to invest my time and my heart in you.

I know that I am not mistaken and I feel the genuine warmth and care that you have for people, strangers or not. This is one of your greatest attributes and I sincerely hope it never becomes blunted by those who might not appreciate it.

You are a giver, a healer and a powerful presence and influence upon those around you. I am glad that you have a pure soul and that you use this gift in a good way.

23:18 Mar 15 2008

Stabb, I do not think that could have been better worded. Hear, hear.

01:34 Mar 16 2008

I don't have a way with words like Stabb, agree with those that he said.

All I can do is....

*rat comes and hugs your wrist*


Last Night

21:00 Mar 15 2008
Times Read: 1,457

My sister was cast in a play called Tony and Tina's Wedding. It's an interactive play where the audience is actually part of the wedding. My mom had head about the auditions and encouraged us both to try out. Erin went...I didn't. I was kinda sorry last night when I saw how fun it was and how much I miss performing when i get close to it and see others doing it.

Erin actually used to belong to an improv group and this play called for a huge amount of improv. She played the pregnant maid of honor, Connie. The bridesmaids all wore hideous red dresses and stiletto shoes. After the play, I was invited out with the cast to get drinks and sushi. We laughed and laughed. It was so fun to go out and just be social again. I worry sometimes that I've forgotten how, but there was an ease about last night that reminds me that I need to do things like that now and then.

Oh, and Vespers...I drank a beer last night that reminded me of you.

Vampire Rave - The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory - http://www/VampireRave.com




MorriGone Limmerick

06:23 Mar 13 2008
Times Read: 1,523

There once was a girl who blocked Morri

When she heard, she was really sorry.

She tried to eat crow

But she's a vegan, you know?

So instead, she denied the whole story!



07:08 Mar 13 2008

I got mentioned three times in a row in this journal!

I do feel special...

07:09 Mar 13 2008

scratch that...FOUR!

Birra has some competition he's gotta worry about. Ah feel sumwon crushin' awn me...

07:29 Mar 13 2008

Ever since I saw the cheez nip on the boot, it's been all about you, babe.

07:46 Mar 13 2008

Besides...Birra?! Just look at those shifty eyes, and those untrustworthy...eye sockets, um...uncombed eyebrows and that... eye...glint. Morri! How long are we gonna pretend? He's just eyes! The man is just eyes! It's creepy.


No...she didn't notice

06:19 Mar 13 2008
Times Read: 1,524

Sooooo...apparently you can block someone and not even realize it. I imagine that if you were to do such a thing, it might be really embarrasing once you found out. Your friend can't tell you. So, what might she do?

She might leave little breadcrumbs about to see if you follow the trail. Imagine how silly you'd feel once you realized that you'd stepped over that trail thinking, "I wonder who she set that out for," when on day 3, she felt it necessary to put a Las Vegas Sign with your name in blinking neon pointing at the little bread trail.

The fictional person who might do such a thing...let's call her Schmoli... would probably say sheepish things like, "I'm obviously a moron." or perhaps, "You are one of the coolest people on this site and I'd never block you, even if I were mad at you. Maybe if you put a paypal button and asked for birthday presents...or recanted your bi-ness...or red-penned me...or made a list of the things I need to do in order to please you. Nah, not even then."

HEY! There's a list I want to see you do. How about a list that mocks the list of what men need to do to please women. The "What You Need To Do To Please Morri List"

Love you, girl...and I'm not just a moron...I'm bi ;)



06:45 Mar 13 2008

Ha ha yeah that was funny... What they need to do to please me eh? hmmmmm....

06:49 Mar 13 2008

If you only knew...when I saw the first two entries, I was SO curious. "Who who who? Who is she? What did she do?"

07:07 Mar 13 2008

Heh I was wondering if you'd begin to question why I hadn't left any comments in your journal despite visiting and reading it a few times.

07:34 Mar 13 2008

I just figured I sucked :(

21:33 Mar 15 2008



Odd factoids about me

05:27 Mar 11 2008
Times Read: 1,599

Morri's second challenge about random stuff. OK, I'm gonna give it a go, but my hesitation stems from hers being SO good.

I actually love my vegetables boiled to a nice, soft, mushy, and unmistakably dead state.

I hate shopping, unless it's for linens. I LOVE the feel of cool quality bedsheets on bare legs. And towels should be big, soft, and ridiculously fluffy.

I like ice in my coffee.

The back of my car is a wreck, but my desk is freakishly immaculate.

I hate different colored thumbtacks on a bulletin board.

I buy cheap laundry detergent, but drive out of my way for Diva additives because the smell is amazing.

I can put on my makeup in under 2 minutes when I'm running late...and yes, it looks like it.

I briefly worked as a waitress in a Viet Namese restaurant and one of my few memories in my life of ever yelling is at the owner as I quit, "Keep Dragon Lady OFF ME!"

My first near sexual encounter never happened because I couldn't recover from a nervous giggling fit when I realized I had on my mother's bra.

I foolishly let a man who loved me go because he "embarrassed" me.

I try to suppress my anger at grocery stores who design shelves well above the reach of anyone below 5'6." I get southern instead, "excuse me, sir...could you reach the brussels sprouts for me? teehee." GRRRRRRRRRRR What? Short chicks don't like leafy greens?!

My grandfather used to push his false teeth out with his tongue to scare the crap out of us as kids. But I secretly thought it was kinda cool.

My great-uncle Tootsie (lost toes in an unfortunate mowing accident) would take out his teeth at family reunions and sing, "Jolie Blonde," a sure sign that the party had indeed begun.

I take really good care of my teeth! :)

My daughters are both black belts in Taekwondo. Look out boys.

I absolutely love my job and can't imagine ever wanting to do anything else.

I can't wink.

I have trouble not raising my hand when people ask for volunteers.

I can do a mean cajun accent by request.

I am baffled when anyone suggests that the cajun accent is "hot."

I prefer skirts to pants, with the exception of blue jeans.

I haven't owned a coat since I was a child.

I think Indian curry smells like armpit.

T.S. Eliot's "Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock" sometimes makes me cry.

A hug or compliment when I'm sad will always crack my composure.

The entitlement and victim mentality of my country crushes me into a ball of frustration.

I genuinely find at least one incredible thing every day that takes my breath away or reminds me to swallow that lump in my throat because of gratitude of someone's company, action, or just a seemingly random event that is tinged with some personal meaning for me.



05:53 Mar 11 2008

*applauds* very nice, and entertaining. WOOOH

10:32 Mar 11 2008

I can't imagine why you would take good care of your teeth when you had such awesome role models to show you the proper uses of false ones!

14:04 Mar 11 2008

..the people-pleaser who can't say 'no' to volunteering doesn't surprise: but I so like the comments at the end about appreciated things genuinely got me.

..such forthright honesty is to be applauded.

..it's a hard thing to observe onesself like that.

22:40 Mar 11 2008

Awwww, did I really embarrass you?

20:52 Mar 12 2008

A+/ 10 rating. :)

08:34 Mar 13 2008

Only as baffled as I am by you loving my accent, and the cajun accent IS hot dammit! :D


Furry Roomies

20:04 Mar 09 2008
Times Read: 1,687

Morri writes about the urge to have pets...or animal friends, as she prefers. I understand the term, because none of the animals I have shared a home with ever felt particulary "owned" to me. More like I own the responsibility when they mess up something and share in the sweetnesses they usually provide. But she got me thinking about the process...how did I come to have these furry aliens in my home?

caitlin 12

We met Meatball about 6 years ago now. He was lost and nosing through trash. He's a lovely collie-looking fella that makes you think, "awwww Lassie needs a hand." We took him in and began getting him cleaned up and fed. He was obviously someone's pet...well-behaved indoors and appreciative of affection. He was covered in ticks which...ewwwww! If there is anything worse than trying to remove ticks from a thickly-coated dog, I can't think of it.

We had no dog food and since we were having spaghetti that night, he shared our dinner, forever becoming "Meatball" for us. We made signs and tacked them up everywhere. Nobody responded. Two weeks later, when we realized nobody was likely to claim him, we became concerned about his persistent cough. I took him to the vet who diagnosed him with progressive heartworms. It was a death sentence for a stray. But by this point, we loved him. He became our $1000.00 free dog.

We had to keep him completely still. He was still puppyish at an estimated 1 year old. The medicine made him terribly sick as it poisoned the worms inside him. But our guy made it through. He is the kind of doggy that herds you wherever you should be, lies at your feet, and cries when you leave. He wants nothing more than to be EVERYWHERE you are.

He catches frisbees, has eaten a loaf of bread carelessly left on the counter, knows the word, "outside," would sell me for the chance to catch a cheerio in his mouth, will bark at you if you threaten me or my girls, isn't happy until he catches a skateboard and kills it - wheels up, and will NOT eat a Cheetoh even if you hide it inside food he loves, begging the question, What's in a cheetoh?! I mean, he doesn't have a very discriminating palate...he licks his own butt and prefers a freshly flushed potty over a water dish. I am now incredibly suspicious of the Cheetoh.

One of my favorite things about him, though, is his all-encompassing desire to please. If you place a favorite treat in front of him and calmly say, "stay," you can walk out of the room and do other things. When you come back, he will be covered in drool, but that treat will be there until you say, "ok, you can have it." I know the second I walk in the door if he's been naughty. He will stand back, head lowered, as if to say, "I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't help it and now you're gonna fuss. I knew this was coming and stressed all day. I'm a bad boy." I glance at him and say, "Ok, what did you do? Where is it?" Invariably, I find the empty bread sack. My dog is a carb-loader. You don't leave bread or cookies down any more than you'd leave a bottle of booze in the house with an alcoholic.

He's a great dog. One time we went on vacation and the neighbor girl we paid to look in on him forgot. We'd left plenty of food and water, but he never got to go outside. This dog actually peed in duplo blocks and on a towel in the bathroom. How do I interpret that other than that he wanted not to pee the carpet? His waste was also in the bathroom. Too bad he can't reach the potty...but since he can't flush, he'd probably decide that going in his water bowl was nasty.

I love this awesome ball of fur I get the privilege of knowing.


The cat is the devil.

I mean that literally. I am convinced that the cat wants my soul. She will likely suck it from my nose while I'm sleeping.

She entered our lives during a rare weak moment on my part. You may have guessed by the tone change that I am not a cat person. I have met cat people. I am not one.

Our lives changed in my family last year due to a sad event. My oldest daughter looked at me like only a kid can..."Mom, you know what would bring us closer together as a family? A kitten." *blink blink* I usually wear armor well suited against such attacks. But I was ambushed by a relative's litter of kittens and a child's lovely big eyes blinking at my guilty conscience. Enter Savoir Faire, "Savvy" to her minions.

Something is not right about this creature. Since kittenhood, she has liked to hang upside down. I mean that she will wriggle in your arms until all that you have are her haunches and she stretches her paws and dangles that way. She is also perfectly happy to drape around your neck like a stoll. Her bread is definitely not all the way baked.

I have learned to walk through my home with care. I do not know from where or when the attack will occur, but it WILL come. I am grateful that she saves me cardiology money, though. I need no heart tests as I learned on the day she leapt on me from the curtain rod and I didn't die.

I am further grateful that she has allowed me to continue living here. As long as I accept that all the furniture is hers and my hands belong to her, we are ok. If she paid the bills, I'd swear I was her pet. In fact, lately, I've started thinking I may be the indentured servant and she is the overlord exacting taxes. I work...she luxuriates.

The dog looks at me as she eats the first bites of his food before moving to her catfood dish, just because she can. I look back at him and say, "What? I just live here...I'm open for suggestions." I'm pretty sure he rolled his eyes when he thought I wasn't looking. But we both have a good cuddle while she eats the cheetohs we toss to her.



16:41 Mar 10 2008

**giggling uncontrollably**

love the decription of the cat.

17:43 Mar 10 2008

HAHAHAHAHAHA cats are so funny.

The surprise attacks are always interesting and "well timed."

I miss not having a do though. Maybe someday.

20:11 Mar 10 2008


Just :)

05:56 Mar 11 2008

hehe those sound like wonderful companions, even the cat. That's what cats do. Sounds like you have a boneless kitty

07:03 Mar 11 2008

I'll try to snap a pic of her doing the upside down vampire cat thing. And don't you people go trying to get me to say I like the cat. I tried turning her into the Dept. Of Homeland Security the other day. I can't prove it, but I suspect she has a cell. There are times when that can be the only explanation.

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