To be continued...14:55 Oct 27 2010
Times Read: 1,141
To continue the conversation outside of comments... god, marriage and all that we have invented to control mankind…
Images, what I mean by "I cringe" is the comment of "marriage as god designed it" reaffirms to me that marriage is just another tool that the people in power, whether it be a religion or a political governing body, use to control their society.
Since I don't believe god exists in the way religions exalt that god exists and I see the formation of religions to be nothing more than primitive, totalitarian forms of government, to say “marriage as god designed it” is the socio-political equivalent as saying, “get married, shut up, do as we say.”
I understand it works for some people, but in an evolutionary, biological sense it goes against nature on the whole. A very, very low percentage of animals are documented to be monogamous – and the percentage is even lower when you reduce it to mammals and primates. Even species once though of as being monogamous, it’s been proven they’re really not; they’re just a lot better at hiding their infidelity.
The stereotypes that Blackstaff pointed out in his comment are indeed stereotypes – but like most other stereotypes, they exist out of relative truths. Not all stereotypes are fair and maybe some are held due to a more observed social minority, like assuming all Jehovah Witnesses are going to had you a Watchtower, or assuming all Italian Americans are involved in organized crime – but the stereotype exists because they can be observed as a fact.
The joke, “Scientists have found a substance that eliminates a woman’s sex drive – they call it, wedding cake,” is funny because it is an observable truth in a lot of cases. The finality of the process of “getting married” changes people’s attitudes. In some cases, the men turn into jerks because they no longer have to impress their mate to keep them around. In some cases, the women turn into cold fish for the very same reason.
In some cases we just find out our selected mate is really pretty insane, but unfortunately, the deed is done.
In my opinion, pre-nuptials should not only be more accepted, but mandatory. After all, the institution of marriage in our society is nothing more than a contract – a social and financial contract to manage division of assets, tax liability and behaviors. Like any other contract, it has to go before a court to cancel it. So why shouldn’t the contract be extended to include what happens if one or both parties want to exit the contract BEFORE they enter into it?
But if a man brings the idea of a pre-nuptial to the table he usually will get the response, “If you love me and our marriage is about love this shouldn’t matter.” Of course, the other side of that is, if she loves him and the marriage is about love, it shouldn’t matter if she signs it.
And if this was really a process designed by god, there wouldn’t need to be any government intervention in the first place. The church would handle the marriage, the joining, the splitting and lawyers would have to find a different way to make a tone of money by doing nothing. Besides real-estate closings, that is.
Now mine didn’t work for me. Blackstaff’s obviously didn’t work for him. It sounds as if we both ran into similar obstacles.
For you, it works. Maybe it’s more patience, better communication – maybe in the key components of what a marriage should be you and your husband are more in-tune with each other and therefore can better get past the parts where you might differ. I believe a lot of marriages fail on just this point; the important parts that need to be there for a marriage to work simply don’t mesh after a while. People grow apart. People find their marriages become about a goal instead of a partnership.
And some marriages last much, much longer than they should because one or both people believe that this thing is some duty to the invisible bearded guy in the sky rather than just the contract that it is.
I won’t even get into the problems with the government’s hypocrisy regarding gay marriage, or as I like to state it, the right for homosexuals to be just as unhappy as the rest of us.
So, comment string to continue…
"A second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience."
-- Samuel Johnson
COMMENTS
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Morrigon
19:54 Oct 28 2010
.........Alright
Blackstaff
02:02 Oct 29 2010
I feel your pain. Had this happen on the last one to me as the presenter...