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I wanted to know how you are able to hold a relationship with someone who believes you are mad?


I have had my fair share of relationships in the past and they have always ended on the same note. I feel if I have merged into a relationship with someone than they should know me a tad bit wouldn't you say? Well apparently the moment I speak of my father being a santero or bring up the topic of vampires,lycans and so forth I am deemed mad, and constantly reminded I need live in reality and not my own fantasy world.
I do not mind if someone does not believe as I do but I do not approve of being ridiculed on my beliefs. How would you go about relationships?

Well for starters anyone that could ridicule you, tease and shun you for anything so serious to your own personal beliefs doesn't meet the criteria of a good mate in the first place.

To be fair what you are asking of another person is not a simply matter. If you believe yourself to be vampiric then that is not just an ideological difference of opinion but an entire life style choice they may not wish to share in. Everything from how you choose to live yourown life to how you will raise your children are going to be governed by the very facts of your existence.

Any relationship is a bond between two soul. Those bonds are formed through acceptance of each others faults and strengths. You have to share in all of who and what you are, have trust, faith, and the communication between you both to do so. If the inner you - your vampiric self is hidden or suppressed from view to the one you love then they can't ever hope to understand and ultimatly love the real you. It would be like hidding a drug or gambling addiction from your spouse... that is something that will be seen as a betrayal of that trust and faith. If they are unable to place their faith in the real you then the relationship was and is doomed from the start.
Which is the reason most vampiric soul simply choose to avoid these types of conflicts by seeking like minded mates. Yes this will narrow the selection process of potential mates a lot and makes it even harder to find that special someone, But it also gives you the greatest chance for success without repeated failure.

In the end you must except what you are and be open with that realization enough to share it with others. That means having faith, trust and being comfortable enough with yourself before you can ask that of someone else... an unaviodable fact if you are to ever truly be loved for you.

Yes I do agree but such is the problem, I have long been at pease with who and what I am an have never made excuses for such yet it seems life has thrown me some very close minded people.

I do understand that it would be better to find a like minded soul to share life with yet it seems they have been swallowed by the earth its self and I have not been known to be a patient woman. I have been through enough relationships to know the value of a life mate and the peace one could bring into the others life but in the age we live in it seems utterly impossible to find them.

I find it very disheartning

I speak from experience on this one and trust me it can take several life times to find a real soul mate. A perfect mate - your equal in every way is as wonderful as it sounds but they won't just fall from the sky one day. You must place your trust and faith in that ideological side of your existence as well.
A strong will and determination often serve to help people in the short term but in this case patience is a necessary evil, and a skill you may wish to work on if you are serious about finding your souls other half.

If I want to start a relationship with someone, I try to make sure we have similar interests. For example, as a pagan i certainly do not want a relationship with an evangelical christian. I want someone who shares the same likes to some degree. You are running into the wrong persons, perhaps.

As others have mentioned, seems to me that before getting into a relationship with a new boyfriend you both should have already had discussions regarding basic philosophies and beliefs... and actually gotten to know one another well, first. After all, a relationship ought to presume you know one another well enough to know that you are compatible with one another and know them at least well enough to have already determined whether their views and beliefs are sane or not (and yes... just because someone has beliefs doesn't make such beliefs rational or unquestionable by others. Having beliefs doesn't grant you some sort of immunity for others' right to disagree with them or consider them irrational).

It is a sad commentary on today's views of relationships that all too often people know one another sexually far better than they do in any other way... and then are surprised when one day they wake up and realize that they have no idea who the person sleeping next to them really is.

Perhaps it would be a really novel idea to first really get to know a person before then choosing to enter into a sexual and romantic relationship with them. That way you know what and who you are REALLY getting from the start.

If this latest boyfriend can't accept your beliefs as rational... then you have two choices:

1. Talk it out between you both and listen to both sides as you two express your respective reasons and concerns... and then carefully consider whether your respective views have merit and, if so, re-evaluate as needed those beliefs and views, or;

2. Find someone who thinks and believes as you do from the start.

I really have to agree. How did you both meet? Obviously it wasn't someone in the lifestyle that introduced you both?

Nay it wasna but we are no longer together. Fortunatly.

I had discussed these thing with him before hand whilst we were still in the early blosom of our relationship. I made sure he understood what I was and my beliefs and it seemed he was alright with it. Never said a word on the matter really. It was only after the birth of my daughter that he began scrutinizing, saying I needed to remove myself from my fantasy world and live in realty only than was it that he revealed to me that he believed I was meerly infatuated with the lives I read in books and such. In some part of his mind he assumed I would eventually "knock out of it" as he so blatanly put it. Poor sod.

I tried many a times to help him understand help him see me for who I truly am yet it never aided. It was a continuous rope of ludicy. Once I finally understood he would never come to terms with it I ended it.

Yet I still feel there aren't a vast amount of people in the world who would understand or be able to deal with such things and it is truly quite upsetting.

what often attracts someone ends up repelling them: and then, that person sets out to change that attribute.

as an aside, both the last ex and I were/are depressives... although, very different types.... and whereas she did the whole, "I need the tablets to find balance.." I am an emotionable manic depressive, so they're of no use to me at all. 'Tween the two of us, you had different teavhings and experience, all very messy, leading to the inevitable, [[for me]] conclusion.. she had cheated, as did the one before her.

royalty, I think this issue would have arisen, regardless of having children. in fact, in my opinion he was just itching for an occasion to bring it up, and start an argument. He never really accepted your revelation in the first place, although, he put that face on.

Agreed, He was wrong from the start.
But the pursuit of personal truth, faith from within, and companionship must continue. You did what was right and shared your true self. He was the one living within a lie he made for himself, deceit always ends in that way regardless of who you're lying to.
Sharing yourself with others for whom you hope to share a life with is a necessary evil and the only way to find true happiness for yourself. Yes, you will have your heart broken... and by many. But when you do find that one special mate none of what you have endured will matter. It will fade as if it had never happened at all. That is the power of true love, and it is very much worth it.

My dear listen to me, Your not delusional or misguided, and your certainly not living in a fantasy world. Anyone who would tell you different without even stopping to evaluate and consider what you've said won't do so at some later date either.
Always remain true to yourself from start to finish, it's worth it... after all the alternative is a living with someone and still being lonely on the inside.

I agree with one thing there: be yourself.
too few are.

I just seriously never have time to hold down a relationship. Between class, work, friends, vamp study, vamp family, and bio family, I find myself falling into bed every night.

hmm well unfortunatly for me I had time and would give a lot into the relationships I had just to have them fail its very disheartning

I don't see why you would wanna be with someone who thinks your mad. But you should show the person how great you are

:nods: tis why I left the dolt. I just feel there have been more failures than might have beens is all.

I believe that if someone really cares about you they will not redicule you for your beliefs even if they have different beliefs

I will agree with Damia, If they care they should ot act like that. If you are in a relationship, that kind of understanding should have been in place long before relationship ever happened. If you are ridiculed for it, then they were never comfortable with it to begin with , or truly knew how you felt about your beliefs. Things like that should be made very clear. And dare I say ground rules be put in place :), that if thats going to happen very often, the relationship isn't going to last long.

I pretty much agree with everything said by everyone else. I just wanted to add that it is extremely hard to find someone that can understand and/or accept our ...more unusual interests?

I can understand the frustration.

Same here. It is true that no one should have to deal with someone being a jerkoff about their beliefs. And it is annoying when people sometimes just brush off your ideals or religion with a generic oh i dont mind when clearly they do.

It is harder I think depending on where you live, your family, your work and/or school environment in general, when it comes to finding people accepting religious or personal preferences. It is frustrating when looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend or even just trustworthy friends to find people who do share or at least understand you.

I had a boyfriend once who said that he could "tolerate" what he called my "occult fascination". And this was about four months into dating. I had to inform him that my "fascination" wasnt that, it was my lifestyle and my religion. It wasnt going to change.

I think that's how some people think of it. As just an interest or phase that will change.

So I totally agree that yes, we shouldnt have to be "tolerated" or not believed with partners. At the same time its incredibly difficult and frustrating in finding trustworthy people.

I would rather be alone, than have someone tell me they'd "tolerate" my "fascination." Either they truly accept it or we don't have a relationship. Pure and simple. If they expect me to accept theirs, they'd better accept mine without reservation or hesitation. People like that, after time has elapsed with attempt to change you. That's not acceptable.

A realtionship is like a job. You have to work at it. No matter how great it may feel in the beginning, there is a middle and of course an end. Its a process like a plant growing but more complicated. You put forth the effort that will give you the results that you desire.

The only advice i can give you is to take stock in the value of the relationship you are speaking to yourself. How much is it worth to you? then either agree to disagree and don't discuss it further with this person or walk away.

Exactly. Though anyone that talked to me like or treated my lifestyle with such disrespect would be gone in a heartbeat no matter what.

I would rather be alone too.

I've dealt with issues like this. It took me some time, but I was able to part ways (from the abusive party)with a little help from a friend. Asking for help is not always bad. Maybe you need someone there to assist you. I wish you much luck getting yourself back to 'you." You are the important one here.

At this point I need to retract my previous entry on here. I was caught up in all the other post as I read that it got me off track about what is truly being asked. Her question was what does she do about her father basically calling her mad. What it comes down to, is that I have hardly ever seen a parent or parents agree with such decisions when it comes to their children, I will say that in matters like this, some times you just have to kep your mouth shut, Parents are just parents. They don't want to hear such things. And this is from personal experience. If you just drop it , instead of continuing to gain acceptance from them. Things will go much smoother. Somtimes there are just fights that you can't win. I never speak like tha in front of my parents anymore, and as long as I don't bring it up, things are good. They will never understand, and just don't want to. I'm having a feeling that heres are the same way. Some things a best left unsaid.

While part of me wants to agree with letting things lie and not mentioning it, I dont think its a solution in the long run.

Some people you just can't get acceptance from. Though its difficult and hurts, I think its better to be honest and part ways, even if it is from family.

I would have to say communication plays a big part in a relationship, even before it starts. Find out what a persons beliefs are what they think and how they feel about things that matter to you. Be honest and true to yourself. If you feel that you have to hide who you are from the beginning, then perhaps, you should think of moving on and not pursuing a relationship with someone who can't except who you really are.

I completly agree which is why my relationships never really lasted long. I doona tend to hide who I am or what I believe. Yet it seems people have become quite adept to fool the other. As I said earlier he was "alright" with it in the begining. Understood what I spoke of never said a word but eventually it stopped and he told me the truth.
Honestly he thought it was like a child who said she wants to be a princess. Thought it was some fantasy phase I would get over. Once herealized that it wasna he confided it to me.
I find it disturbing to think that if someone tells you such a thing you would continue with them thinking they are just absorbed in some fantasy. Atleast in my opinion I would ask if they are serious. And than determine the direction of the relationship. Not go along with them hoping it will pass.

I agree with everyone!

(I know its been said, but it cant be stressed enough) Your main job in this life is to make you happy, not anybody else. Sure if you can make other people happy, yay!!! But if not, sometimes you just have to move on from that person.

you should look for somebody who agrees with you.compatibility is the most importnat thing.not that hes got money or is nicely packaged.

First off you have to love yourself and respect yourself not to allow someone to belittle , or disrespect your beliefs .

Your true soulmate will accept you the way you are and will respect your beliefs.
You might have different beliefs but to love someone truely is to love them unconditionally .
Jesse accepts all my quirks and I dont even see his we balance each other out .

well, that quote is true.
i know from experience.

when you love someone, truly, you forgive them for anything, and try to build back up off of it.

Honestly, unless youre with someone who is a creature of the night, or a witch, or whatever, I dont think they will ever accept nor understand that there are things that exist beyond a horror novel.

I cannot tell my boyfriend about my true self, he will for sure think Im a nut case, but you know what, maybe its better that way. I get to keep a piece of something to myself and not share it like everything else in a relationship. My sanctuary, my personal space and world.

Humans can't fully grasp concepts lycans and vampires can.
a lycan and vampire can love you more fierce then a human can!

I completly agree I feel only somene who is already atuned with this lifestyle can apreciate it. Though the wait to find someone who is both compatible and in the lifestyle with you is double difficult.

I'm especially happy that a very large amount of the people I talk to, are a bunch of crazy rejects. They think I'm crazy with the way I speak of death, and they love it. When It comes to boyfriends, I normally scare a few off, but in the end I always end up finding someone quite as crazy as me. They know my beliefs and my deep urges for blood, and all it does is make him love me more. It's amazing.

That kinda sounds like vampirmism sweetie.

Dark there are plenty of those who share your beliefs who aren't crazy rejects. I know it can be difficult to find them, however keep looking

I was with someone for 7 years trying not to be what I am. All because he said it was ok in the beginning and then after we married said he didn't approve. I started lashing out and feeling suffocated. Why would I want to be with someone who doesn't like who I really am? So I have finally ended it.

I don't think you can hold a relationship with someone who can't accept you for who you really are. And truly accept you. It is best to find someone who is similar and can relate. They are out there...

I agree holding any sort of relationship with someone under false pretenses isnt good for any persons within the relationship. Noon is more important than another and you should find someone whom understands,accepts and loves you for who and what you are.

and you know this mish...

Trust is key in any relationship.

so is

understanding
compassion

santero, did you mean, follower of Santeria. For those who doesn't know about santeria it is an African-based religion similar to voodoo, originating in Cuba and Brazil, which combines the worship of traditional Yoruban deities with the worship of Roman Catholic saints. Read more: http://www.answers.com/topic/santeria#ixzz1UvukFhce
Well, may be he is wrong to label you as an "abnormal" human.
The conflict that I do see, is because you may be are not a follower or had refused to be a partner in his exploration of the occult of Santeria.

abnormal human?

Whats that suppose to mean?
cause empaths, and vamps, half bloods, and even mud bloods are not human.

Yes that is what I am speaking of. I have grown up in the style of santeria and such but it isn't my father I am speaking of here perhaps I was a little unclear.

I was speaking of my past relationships. How I was clear from the begining of my involvments and beliefss and was told that they were fiine with it until several months later when I would be called abnormal or crazy.





Personally I feel that everyones expectations of 'normal' are different and it is arrogant for you to believe your way is normal above all us. So I don't know exactly what they mean by abnormal *shrugs*

Or...in basic terms.

The people were hoping to change you, or convert you in the end? Mold you to how they saw fit?

precisly, mold my actions and thoughts my very lifestyle so that they would be pleased with it

Yes, a lot of men do this. It is called controlling. it starts small, with were you eat, or a certin perfume you wear, and it gets WAY out of hand.

it is stupid, i am part of the BDsm community and there is a difference between it. It is justt these men and alot of women cannot accept beliefs that are not there own

well, i too am part of BDSM. and master slave things. But that's completely separate then what you seem to have going/gone on.

being controlling, and a master, and 2 different things all together!

depends if you see madness as a gift or an hinderence? i consider my mental state as a gift and has guided me through each and every relationship i have had be it good or bad.its best to have foresight than insight. that gives you the ability to back off any negativity.dont expose ones heart on ones sleeve.

what does heart have to do with controling people?

BDSM, or any other form of fetish always has a common component... a person doing and a person receiving.
Whether it be a person submitting to another's control or just the giving of a particular pleasure there is still give and take in it.

When you start talking about a man or woman who displays these type of characteristics outside of the bedroom then now they are starting to show less of a fetish and more of a personality disorder.
The need to be controlling all the time can be just as much of a problem to a healthy relationship as the type of a person that wishes to have every part of their life laid out for them.
If you see destructive or undesired traits in your mate you have the choice to stay and deal -or- leave and start over fresh.

Either way that is the reason people date in the first place.

On a side note -

although invention maybe 99% inspiration and 1% perspiration, relationships are 1% searching and 99% soul searching.

People often make things harder than they really need to be.
I'm not saying you are but I believe if given the chance there isn't a soul alive who doesn't want to find that perfect balance in another person??
Everyone wants someone special but you would be surprised at how many people are dating and haven't even stopped to ask themselves what it is they would want someone else to bring to a relationship??

Have you asked yourself what it is you are looking for in a mate... Have you taken the time to decide what you consider to be a strength and a weakness??
Without the self knowledge, the inner reflection on what defines special to you personally your perfect mate could be standing right in front of you and you wouldn't know it because you don't know yourself what it is your looking for.

Just something to ponder.

I too are having problems find my prince of darkness to share my wonder life with. At first it was because i was married 2x then it because i had a child. Now my child is grown up and lives far from me. It still hard to find someone who is Pagan/Vampire to be with. All I can say is keep looking he is out there looking for me too. I have been alone for the past 4 years. seeing all my friend in there relationship is hard for me. But i shall never give up looking for him and girl don't you ever give up we will find those men to share our lives with. Keep a bloody smile on that face and chin up.

Yes I have looked into my self many times accessing both myself and qualities I would want in a life mate. Though being in search of someone with specific traits dosna seem to help tha cause. Especially for the fact that noone will. Have exactly those traits without lacking or adding a few.

As for theBBdsm , I fail to see it as anything but a lifestyle. Yes some people use BDsm as a fetish for sexual pleasures but essentially it is a lifestyle one I am a happy part of and would want my mate to be part of.




*yes I know though it is very frustrating to go on with eeither the wrong partner or just searching for the right one I havna given up and neither should you or anyone really who's. Really hoping to find peace wth there other half.*

IF A PERSON CAN NOT ACCEPT YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE THEY ARE NOT WORTH BEING IN YOUR LIFE...LOVE HAS NO CONDITIONS AND DOES NOT JUDGE..

I'm a psychopath. I dream of blood, torture, and decaying limbs falling from the sky. The best part is, that the person I am with, only loves me more, when I tell them about my dreams and thoughts. My madness only brings us closer. In order for a boyfriend/girlfriend to accept who you are, is for them to know who you are, and realize that while you are mad, you're funn. :)

i agree with both of ou.
and yes, im the same, exept i have the thoughts all day, and it's stressful, but i manage it, with out pills.

"The infatuation of the flesh, can be confused with Love". If you stop and listen to your own self, you will find that most of your boyfriend where just there to tell you something that you probably want to hear. And after the culmination of a "hot" moment, the flame go away. A relationship is not only base in the physical, but also in the believe, the emotional and the spiritual believe of both person.

Relationships are the investment of the emopnal and the physical in everyway 100%

Let me also add this. If they have any objections then that's the red flag of failure in the relationship. If they can nitpick in one area they will not stop until you've completely conformed and are molded into what they think is reality, and you will find yourself completely absorbed.

I wish I knew the answers myself. How to find someone to accept me for who I am and not judge. I am always honest when it comes to relationships and son't hide aspects of myself. My own ex, knew all that there was to know about me, but when the relationship came to an end, he declared that he wished 'to find someone normal'. He ended it not explaining more than that, and was shocked because I never hid anything from him. I felt humiliated and rejected. I beieve his own mum never aproved of me either and this facored upon the death of the relationship. It is didheartening when all I did was give my heart and soul to another, just to have it crused to dust, then trown to the wind. I was always a believer of 'the soul mate', now I'm not so sure. I still have faith in people as a whole and still trust, but I'm not sure if I do have another half. All I can do is find happieness with what I have; my firends, mum, writing, work and my pets. I do not know the answers. If no one can accept me for who I am, light and dark, then they are not worthy of my respect, let alone my love.

Nods* such have been my relationships aswell dear. It was always accepted when I spoke of it and told them what it was than after a while theey were like " you were serious?" Its like ummm yea why the hell wouldn't I be?

But I feel that ones soul mate is as thhey are , no matter what they be. Its just finding that person is a hardship. But once found every difficult moment every tear, every ounce of pain is worth it because once you found them you are whole.

I agree with you. It is quite a difficult chore indeed. I have gotta say that it is very difficult when the person who is supposed to love you is telling you to quit playing those vampire/ werewolf games or that they dont really like the fact that you are one

I think what hurts the most is family doing that though. I havn't told my family what I am. None of them know except for my brother. Because I saw the way they all reacted to one of my vampire friends. *sighs* It's so sad. This world is so close minded.

it's amazing how people are judgmental toward the lifestyles of others, especially when there's no harm being done to anyone, ever themselves. Tells me those people are legalistic, conservative, and live in a tunnel visioned world. What a lonely existence. Be the Vampire you want, and damn with their objections.

Sometimes i want to grab tham & shake them! Other times ai just want to curl up & cry. It's so hard being different but....I wouldn't trade what I am for anything. Im proud of it...just wish others would be proud of it to

After seeing how "vampires/vampyres" react when someone ask basic questions of them I am not surprised in the least that people have such confrontations with their relations. All I see going on is people making bizarre claims that they fail to provide any 411 on.

Well when we as a community are judged by movies and idiocy what else would you expect? if you intend to approach me and say oh but i have garlic ill say 'ok get in the pot and thankyou for the ingrediants". *shrugs* i do not do well with idiot people and there judgments.

nods* my family dosna know about me only my brother and sister. but i do not mind, i would rather they not know if itll make them sleep better at night. But to be in a relationship than i cannot hide it. as my mate and partner they should understand and respect and love me for what and who i am.

I've had very stupid statements made to me: "what are you doing out in the daytime? Can you eat pasta?. Can you go into a church? Geezuz some people,m make me want to strangle them. Or, they come out with the "ole reliable" Satan references

It should be reasonably expected that after a person is told something like that, that they will have questions, and my experience here is that few have anything to offer after blurting out "I'm a vamp!" So unless a person is considerate enough to "go there" they shouldn't.

It is my experianc that true vamps/lycans exc do not go gallavating about telling every living being what they are. An I for one adopt that for people aren't equipped to handle the thought of other beings in the world

I don't run around telling people either unless asked. it's usually if I'm in Gothic garb. But I try to have patience and explain things so they get the concepts. You'll get rude people sometimes, regardless.

Be yourself and don't change who you are for anyone so if they can't except who you are or your beliefs, then dont let the door hit them in the ass.

The mind of a nerrow minded fool is not what you need in your life.

love is acceptance. one does not to have to believe in the same principles or philosophies his or her partner upholds but should learn to respect them for who they are. after all, we can never really find someone who is completely compatible and in harmony with our perspectives and preferences.

With any relationship, be it online or real life it takes 50 50 from each person. It can't be a just a one sided relationship there is give and take. Communication and trust.

I believe you give from /to each other not 50 but 100% in all things. Total commitment especially in celebrating each others lifestyles.

yes truly there is no perfect mate. only you can find one who is willing to understand and accept everything about and in you. in return you must also be willing to accept him and share your self with him.

I'm a vampire please love me. *LOL* Yes it can be a real pain and often it's like you have to negotiate about your lifestyles

I'd say that upbringing is the most plausible explanation for what people believe exists and doesn't exist. Well one of them, not many people change their ways from the preconceptions that are formulated through the worldview they inherit from the either their parents or their culture. Also changing those preconceptions is one of the most difficult tasks a person can accomplish for you ask them to change their view of the world itself.

Especially if they're reared in certain areas of the world, and to certain parents, They become engrained with it and anything that's different and identifiable is a threat to your security

i know that my bf doesnt like anything that have to do with my dark side..thats why i laugh inside when he talks about our future..because i will breake his heart...eather love my dark side or it will destroy you

I am not involved with any one, that's ok with me I have better things to do like worrying about reacting level 20on Vampire Rave and other cray things like that.

Well Eva sounds to me like you need a different b/f orHe'll just have to accept the dark side of you. And her might try to serious talk you from your interests which has happened to me and is rather rude in my opinion.

would it be ok if like i have a relationship with my feeder

not a good idea... if you have a realtionship in place to start with and that person understands you, excepts you and is also willing to become a donor then that's different.

Relationship with a feeder? I don't see why not. I've seen relationships of that sort last a long time?

All we all want deep at heart, is acceptane. I don't expect my next lover to believe what I beleive. I will be accepting, as I have been before with beliefs that don't mirror mine. As long as that person and I share the same core values - children, love, trust, that is all I wish. My ex fiancee judges me harshly, despite being honest prior to us being serious, still he deams me as ''not normal, difficult to love and a freak''. he was the one who pretended to be what he wasn't. The irony was on him really. He was the oposite to what he apeared. He preached about being tollerant and loyal, and the end I saw little evidence to that effect. It is those who judge us, that have the real 'problems'. To accept yourself and others is what makes you grow as a person, and many out there are still emotionally small minded. If soul mates exist, and I hope they do (but I'm not going to pin every prayres and joys onto another individual) I wish there was a way to get them to find me.

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if you genuinly look and find one who accepts you as you are.. and you accept them as is.. riducule will be thee farthest worry from your mind..

my beliefs are everyone has a mate out there that is just right for them.. you may go through a few you think are that person but infact are not.. in the end we all end up with the ones we were meant to be with..

and as for a reply to a previous comment. i see no problem with a relationship with your feeder. if you both are willling to commit and work at an actual thriving relationship then who cares how the relationship looks to others..

I don't really believe in that soulmate term. However Nell and lonly make good points, although I still fancy having my relationship with people of similar interests.

i agree i believe that every person has a life mate somewhere in this world it is just a matter of finding them. But i believe that a mate is not exactly as you are but he/she who compliments you. who completes everything you are. what you lack that person has and vice versa.

I believe some of us take longer to find our mates because there are lessons we must learn as individuals so that once we find our mate we are as we should be. such is my belief.

I do not know about the whole donor vamp relationship situation. I feel ones mate is as they are understand? vamps with vamps, wolves and wolves humans and humans i just believe that way.

I must just be plain lucky. My significant other was always interested in my beliefs. He even went as far as purchasing a book about Witchcraft, and read it. He knows how much I love vampires and Vampire books, movies, etc. I just plain love the supernatural! He never makes fun of me because I've always got my nose in a book, or being on Vampire Rave for hours. We don't always see eye to eye, but we have evolved. I don't know how to describe that too well, but it's kind of like whipped butter. The more you whip it, the smoother iit gets. Never mind you, thinking about whips!!! lol I believe that there is someone out there for everyone, someone who compliments you, (not saying "oh, you look great") but someone that you get along with smoothly. Sounds silly huh? But it's the best way I can describe it. And on that note, I want to add, don't stay with someone who trys to change you. That means they are not for you. They are selfish and greedy, and you have no business being with someone like that! You are way better than that, so don't settle. Don't be in a hurry to find someone, because you won't find the "right" one. When you aren't looking, then you will "find" the right one. just my advice, Tzaddi aka Ann Landers (joking!)

i completely relate to your first post r0yaltysfin3st...


i have spent years in relationships where i have had to hide or bury my true self... like a caged wolf, and all i discovered was pain. These relationships always lasted fine but there was always that one secret inside me.

The relationships failed terribly as we had nothing in common in the end, the realisation through seperation of, "who is this person anyway?"

i havent read the whole thread but i am sure people have pointed out that to be in a long term relationship, everything must be clear and out in the open... if the next person i am in a relationship with doesnt like things about me, and cant accept them, then it is time to find someone else...

I cant afford to be with someone who doesnt love me for everything i am, both good and bad...

I heard somewhere once that if you love someone, like truly love them then you embrace all sides of that person, good, bad, and everything in between

u sould just find a new bf

r0yaltysfin3st ... i do tend to agree with you on vamps with vamps, wolves with wolve etc

As a wolf i long for my pack, i protect and serve my pack at all times, we eat together, hunt together, play together, and ultimately mate for life. There is only pack and as such i need for nothing else.

I belive vamps to be more solitary creatures, they will take a mate and perhaps for life though they live a little more secluded in thier world, also i believe they have a nack for needing to collect material things... i could be wrong, is just an observation

i can see vamp and wolf working out but each would need to foresake some of their own natural instincts... wolf needs to learn to be a little isolated and vamp needs to learn it is ok to trust being in a pack.

there is so much in this thread lol... i want to go back a lil to the Men are contorlling/bdsm Master part if thats ok

I am a man for starters lol, and seriously not all men are controlling... i have met many women who are way more controlling than myself :)

Being controlling is a human condition that arises when one feels they dont have any power in a relationship. I read here that 100% of each other is needed, i tottally agree with that as well, the line needs to be completely mutual for there to be absence of power play.

As a Master i am not controlling in that sense whatsoever, it is a completely different thing. My pet knows that what i do and say is a pure example of the love and care i have for her, a Master is not necessarilly the boss and in true bdsm relationships the submissive has the safe words. Anything that is to happen in the Master/slave relationship should be mutual and entered into with complete understanding, trust and love. I do not control my pet, i teach her, i guide her in the path of exploring her submission to the greatest depths we can find together, i respect her boundaries.

She is my pet because she chose to give herself to me, i earnt her trust and love first.

A Master does not control their slave, a Master nurtures, teaches, protects, explores and always, always loves his/her pet. If not it will fail and someone will get hurt.

I have been involved with several bdsm communities in r/l and some people who call themselves Masters and Mistresses sicken me. I think there should be a training centre or somthing along those lines for people who wish to be Masters/Mistresses. I learnt by embracing my Dominance and submitting to learn what it is to give evrything over, the people who taught me were amazing in their relationship.

Stay true to yourself. You'll find the right person that will love you for you.

You are not alone there dear I have spent many years in relationships with people always hiding. A brave face and strong smile but always alone. Don't get me wrong I always attempted to atleastfigure out if I would be able to tell my significant other of myself so in the begining I would ask questions like...*what if....* and I could tell by there reactions if I would be able to tell them. though I did always find there reactions rather amusing to say the least.

Love and mateing is something which we all search for,something we all crave no matter what we say or how we act there is always a part of us which wishes to find our other half so we may finally be complete. The sad note is that some of us have been through so much and been hurt in so many ways we have become so gaurded that when the right one does come around we push them away. So I have always tried to remain open. Yes I have been hurt and ridiculed, called names and so forth but I refuse to let the transgressions of other imbisiles ruin my chance at true happiness. So I always try to begin every relation as though I have not been hurt before, which is difficult but..*shrug* id rather be hurt a million times and find my mate and keep him with me forever than push everyone away and risk him amoung them.

As for the wolf/wolf vamp/vamp thing it is just my thinking. In my eyes your lifemate is not someone who likes and thinks the same way you do but you have many similarities and differences as all do but you compliment one another. Where one is weak the other is strong. I believe wolves and vamps are different in more than just the obvious reasons. And yes perhaps a vamp/wolf relationship may work out but it my experiances they never have. in the end we are 1 soul cut into 2 so if the soul is vampyric how could your mate be a wolf? And vise-versa. Again just my view

And yes you are verrryyyy lucky to have a mate who accepts all of who you are! They are truly hard to find! The fact that he truly accepts you and your beleifs and thoughts and makes the effort to try to understand whatever he can about it really proves his love and dedication to you. Your very lucky.

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