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I'm a feeder, and my boyfriend doesn't seem able to accept it. I have a group of friends and we regularly meet up, occasionally feeding off each other, and its really getting my bf down. Anyone got any hints on how to deal with this? i'm worried it might come to the point where I have to choose between my bf and being myself.....

Well, it may be time to do a little soul searching and decide whether or not you really want to be with someone that doesn't accept who you truly are. Myself, I would just take this as the hint that this relationship is just not meant to be. Sorry I can't be of any real help.

hmmm... well the only thing i can say is to talk to your bf about it and ask him, why he doesnt like it/ does he feel as though hes being left out/ does he just not like the fact of it or the idea/ what does he want, and what you want/ what can you both do to help the both of you. thats all i can think of. if i have other ideas, then ill tell you. though i could get a better idea on how to help if i knew a lil more. cause if its really complex the only thing i can say is that only you two can figure it out. but you deffenatly need to talk about it. the only thing that can help situations are time and comunication.

Being a non-vamp I can understand why he doesnt like/accept it and why it gets him down. But if you two are really in love ((idk if you are or not)) then you should talk to him. You need to notice the fact that you're biting other people, which may to him be a way of being intimate. I really dont know a lot of information, so I can't say much, but you both need to look at it from both view points...

Thanks, both of you. I've spoken to him a few times about why he's having trouble with it. I think first of all, because he's never felt that way inclined, he can't understand the need. And also, its the fact that feeding is quite an intimate act between you and your donor, and he can't get his head round the fact that to me, its just about the blood. He thinks, like a lot of non-vamps seem to, that feeding is a sexual/sensual thing. I know it is for some, but not me. He can't grasp that.

has HE ever asked YOU to feed off of him? or YOU ask HIM for you to feed off of him?

i know how you feel but the only diferance is my girlfriend she dosent even know that i am a vampire because i know she wnt accept me so i just ended up not telling her and having to feed when i am not around her or not talking to her on the phone.........

If he doesn't accept you for that, then it wasn't meant to be.

i know how you feel but the only diferance is my girlfriend she dosent even know that i am a vampire because i know she wnt accept me so i just ended up not telling her and having to feed when i am not around her or not talking to her on the phone.........Ps this is in real life so thats why i escape here so that i have people to talk to and calm me down when i have my bloodlusts

Well, at least your boyfriend is being honest with you about how he feels about your feeding. I think you may be happier with someone who will accept you as you really are.

if partner doesn'y except who you are then they are not who you should be with

I have fed off him, but for some reason his blood doesn't suit me. It could be because he's not into it, and therefore it doesn't feel right to me. As for 'not meant to be', i'm getting worried that that may be the case....but I do love him! Gahh...this sucks....

its is true that if your lover doesnt accept you then its not right, but others need to understand that there are more complex things to it. every situation is unique

Doesn't sound like something is right there. Maybe allow him to sit in on a feeding

Maybe you could try getting him into it, so that if it's because he's not into that makes it unsuitable, it could become suitable. I understand how you feel when it comes to wondering if he might not tbe the right one. I'm going through the same thing, with the exception of the feeding.

in all relationships there is give and take, it works only in an honest one that truely upholds the foundations of trueth and excepance of the core eliments-they being (my time-our time-your time)
if one or neither partner cannot except to give and take in the 3 core eliments, the the relationship is deemed to traverse rocky waters.

my only hope is that you and your partner can work through the trust of the my time period to strengthen the our time period.

cheers hugs my dear

drain him physically, mentally, sexually, psychologically, emotionally, erotically make him dependent upon the fiber of your being to drain all forms of energy, once you have him addicted to your being, then walk away, end the relationship. When he comes crawling back to you to be drained again tell him there is only one way for you to take him back, to give into your desire. He will openly bend his neck and pull away his locks, and let you feed away, and he will love it because he loves you. BREAK UP was an incredible movie about getting people to do what you want to do with them tonight, that was with Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston. All it is is manipulation.

You did however say that you didn't liek the taste of his blood, but there are things you van take to make his blood taset better. But I have never found blood that tastes better than my own, what ever I am doing I don't know to make my own blood to be savory, but I am sure there is some literature to even make your own blood taste better to him. Turning someone on to vampirism is dependent upon the intitiate on drinking the blood of the master.

In my December post of the Vamoire Story Innocent

a man is in a cage and a female vampire says: If you drink my blood I will set you frree.

He drinks her blood and she sets him free.

He gets the blood lusts, and then at the end she responded to his question of why didn't you tell me that I was going to turn into a bloodsucker when you made me taste your blood.

and she says: All I did was drink your blood? look at how that sounds

drinking blood is perhaps the most intimate thing a person can do.

and then she says, anyways, if you didn't drink my blood you would have died.
you had to drink my blood to set you free.

only love can set you free, and love is about sharing and growing togetehr, and getting into what the person you love does like to do, even if you don't like it, you an come to love it, especially if the blood sucking isn't degraded as a fleeting high like a sexual experience. If it works on a different level for whatever god only knows reason it floats your boat, then the level of attachment would be better than mindless sexual perversion of blood sucking.

If you drink blood because it becomes a need almost like love, then, if he feels that bond and you get his blood tasting good, and him addicted to your taste, then you don't have to travel down alley ways, tasting blood from strangers. Monogamy works in blood sucking too. Need I say more. But vampires use seduction, do you have what it takes ot have him addicted to your being, your desires and your ways? Not everyone is worhty of true love, the choice is up to you.

Anyways, my definition oif a vampire re;ationship is the walking away from love thing, that is how you break someone into doing what you like, for once you rmove the favorite thing you cook for them, the move in bed, the way you fold his clothes or drag your nails in circles around his back, he will do anything to revlainm the girl that was once his. A broken man is the epitome of a vampire re;ationship where the woman is the one who turns, the converse is also true for the other sexual scenario matchup. But you have to get him addicted to you, and then walk away. That is how the feminine mystique of female vampires insert fangs..... on the immortal beloved most vulnerable areas

I think that you con't pretent you are somethng that you aren't just because he doesn't like it. if he really was into you... possibly loved you he would at least try to understand... and not hold it as something you can't do.

do what u feel is right if he can't accept that then it was never meant to be so do what make u happy if he loves u he'll learn to support u in ur decision

coercion is just seduction spelled differently. MAN ipulation

that is a sucky situation...but if your bf cannot accept that then maybe you should rethink the relationship....never ever sacrifice who you are for someone else, it will never be worth it

I don't think that it's worth being in a relationship with someone that doesn't accept you for who you are. I would really deep down truly do some searching in yourself and see if you really want to be with this person. Maybe they don't understand why you do what you do. Just rhetorically speaking, have you ever told him why you do what you do? If he can't accept this, than it would probably be best to part ways.

Im Lucky my fiance is a vamp but the bad thing is we are 900 miles apart for the next year. afterwards though it will be interesting to see where we go. i have an ex who found out about my vampirism and tried to use it against me. using blood as a way to try to captivate me and keep me when i wanted out of the relationship ended very badly with him slashed (by his own hand) and 5 cop cars

is love replaceable when it takes a lifetime to find it, it appears the girl loves the guy, and this is just the one thing that she is having trouble with. I think ifd something is worth saving then it is worth working on

So true Vampyreinthesun99. But both parties have to be willing to work on it .

Perhaps if your boyfriend were to talk with other donor's as well as other vamps and learn more about being a donor and what is expected than he would be more understanding and accepting.

There is a Vamp/Donor chat held once a month by two promient Vampire organizations. This month it's on a Monday night, June 12th between 8:30 pm - 10:30 pm in this chat room; http://client1.sigmachat.com/sc.pl?id=60106

If you or your bf or anyone here wants to know more about becoming a donor or how to feed from different sources this is the chat to attend.

I think the old cliche everyone is using "if he doesn't accept you for who you are..." is a cop out. Any relationship is going to take some work, honesty, and working through things together. Part of "who you are" is the fact that you love him, and vica versa - given time and working together this issue could end up being nothing, and making you guys stronger - or it could break you apart. But just saying that stupid cliche at the beginning and ending it because of that is going to lead to a lonely life for every human on the planet.

Having said that - none of us know the rest of the small details that really go into any type of decision based around this - All your answers lie between you and him, and the most anyone else can do is offer advice on how to approach it - that may trigger a good method for you two. Don't let anyone ever persuade you on whether you want to be with him or not.

House sister, this is a tough situation.... but I do hope it works out for the both of you. Vulash, well said..... he needs to just give you all of his thoughts and feelings as you to him and come to a way to work it out for the both of you...having the love and commitment you've had should count to working out a solution that would make both happy... there have been good thoughts expressed here with the chat room and such, good luck.

I agree with Vulash these things take work and time..your need also to express why you need this as concisely as possible perhaps in a letter and have him send back questions he wants answered

i have never had one work out for me. the other person thought it was demonic or evil or just sick or even thought i was just a horny motherfucker. to be honest i don't think that it should be allowed. but if u love himthen try and make it work and if he loves then he will try just as hard.

im in a relationship like that as well..i am a feeder. love to feed and be fed off of, my fiancee is in to it somewat though...he is not one for the pain of it so i can feed., so i havent been feeding as much and i wont go anywhere else to feed unless its okay with him...cause i find it sacred and sensual

Sadly I'm just about done with a relationship with a non-feeder.

It's been very hard to stimulate conversation around this as well-- I really wish all of you good luck in whatever situation you find yourself in.

Some day, my Prince will come... and I do hope he write poetry, enjoys music and being a bit of a loaf sometimes.

I am just getting into this and my bf of 6 years is supportive of me but not into this he has his own intrest and i believe that is why we get along so well on most levels. may i ask do you stand by him and what he enjoys cause if not that might be your whole problem

you could try compensating>> like smothering him in chocolate soundz liike a kinky idea, but seriously just watch what you do, you dont want to freak him out or push him too far away. be subtle. it might work out.

In every relationship there's an issue of this sort.

The guy might not like his gf's friends,his gf might not like his collegues,her bf might not like her hobbies,she might not like football but he does etc...in this case it is about vampire and non-vampire.

Time will tell if you should remain together or not.Every relationship has issues.

Thats the same kind of thing as me but i havnt told my bf because i know he will do the same as yours explain to him he has 2 deal with it or its going to be hard for him to be in your life. Then if he really want you he will put up with it sooo its best to lay the truth out stright!

I think you are probably right deathnitegirl, and maybe the relationship will end up working out and you can deal with your differences. If you really love eachother, and I think I said this before, it will work. But he needs to be willing to accept who you are.

Question u should ask urself....is he the right guy for u?

I dont totally agree that relationships have to be based on similar interests however if some compromises cannot be made then the relationship will not be strong enough to last. If a compromise cant be reached, then u must make a hard choice and hope that it is the right one. Do some soul searching and ur heart will guide u in the right direction.

i wouldn't know my boyfriend is also a vampire and we both enjoy feeding of eachother in all aspects... but like the others said if he doesn't accept you for what you are then it just isn't meant to be, and if he truly loves you he will either accept you or he too will understand...

try letting him sit in on a feeding or two and make your decision from there

if you were mirrors of each other, you would be like two mosquitoes standing on the first reflection sucking the blood out of each other. That just doesn't work. It might be romantic, but people are different, and Deathnite girl is right, relationsips are going to have the differences, there is no such perfection. [erfection should be worked on. Like Vince Vaughn in Break up he doesn't want to take Jen Aniston toi the opera, but in the end you know he is gonna. That is why the movie ends where it does.

Eventually in time, when you get inseparable, you will realise all the comprimise you have done for each other was worth it. The children that come from such relationships feel the homogenity that comes from working together in tandem, it gives a sense of family.

In the biginning, people get attracted to each other because there is something about them that interests us to the point we want it internalized in us. Like the last time I DJed in Manhattan, these two were in the elevator goign up with my speakers, and they said they got together because televsion could only do so much.

But in the end, you make a family quilt that has a theme, and it is more than a last name. It is all that you two become by the power of love, the strongest force in the universe, the gravity of Eros.

if he can't accept it maybe it's time for you to let him go

i suggest you show him how fun and...rewarding an experience with a vampire can be, i know from my own experiences with non-vamps that once they realize how sweet the biteing and sucking can be they to can sometimes turn themselves into feeders or at least bleeders. but i suggest you take it easy the first time and just let him get the feel for it.

More people should go with their gut instinct...Deep down you know what to do.

My opinion is if he really cherishes you in the way I'm sure you'd like him to, he'll totally accept you and your behavior, warts and all...just my humble 2 cents from an ol' broad who knows a coupla things about them men folk *wink*

Dark Greeting's,If he truely love's you he should accept you as you are.On the other hand have you ever bitten him.If done right it can be very Erotic he may even like it.Try his wrist first go from there.
Dark Greeting's,KA

This has been in a forum before when I was with a VR vampire, I am not a vampire. Love can work it's way through anything... And if he can't accept you as you are then you do not need him.

He's just jealous of the intimacy you have with your donors. You'd probably have a lot less hassle if you dated a fellow vamp.

I think i said this before but if he can't accept you and you "feeding habbits" then you have a big problem in you relationship... you can't go around pretending that you not who you are... you will end up very unhappy....

The only comment I could say would be is this the right person to be with. If he can't take you for who you are then i'm afraid he is mr right now not mr right!, sorry if this seems harsh, but life is short!!

Well just tell ur boyfriend who u are and why u need it or y u want it and if he dont like u getting there blood suck his

break him ice him train him make him your pet, tell him to take the D-train and meet you in Middlesex, and then stand him up like he is the Lotto card board cutout equipped with kickstand.

Do that but only if you are special, it won't work if you don't know how to wrap him around you finger entangled in his hair

I would suggest that the relationship is already over

my advice would be to just try to work things out, if they can not be it was not ment to be.

I have been in a few relationships were the person could not except the fact of what i am, and i tryed to be something I'm not. Eventually I got tired of it. You are what you are and you can't help that. If he can't except that then you need to move on for the better of yourself. Even though it might bring a small pain to your heart, for a time in the end you wil be happier

relationships that do not grow together die

ask him to feed off you let hi see your need for it

Personaly I think if he cant handle it you need to move on. Not being yourself is NOT the answer. All that does is create major problems in the future.

Maybe he fears the unknown or doesn't understand the lifestyle.

maybe you both should have a nice romantic evening, dinner, calm music (or whatever music takes your fancy) a nice warm relaxing bath, massages, a bit of you and him time, keep up the compliments of the massages if he gives you any (some men don't like to act all soft and gentle) and when you think it's the right time, talk about both of your problems over strawberry's and some nice Bubbly.

but another way of looking at it is that you havn't just changed him and told him to get on with it..... you're giving him his space about these things but now i think its time to just talk until you're both blue in the face..... Good luck Girly!!!

::shrugs:: lots of good things have been said....me, I tend to be a donor. But there dont seem to be many vamps here. I'm just repeating what most have said, but communicate with him and make him communicate with you...see where it leads from there

Having differences is one thing, however when it comes to feeding & your bf does not accept it perhaps you can talk with him . Going elsewhere to feed means your needs are not being fullfilled.

Relationships are about give & take.

I'm not sure I would want somone who didn't accept me for what I am and what I believe in. This is a dilema. Good Luck. I hope things turn out for the best for you.

I agree with Ardaiya, if he can not accept you for who and what you are, then perhaps this relationship is not ment to be.

Do do what feels right.
maybe sitting down with your b/f and find out on really where he sits on the topics of where he feels on the thoughts of it all.
maybe he gets down because what you do is a part of being close to you is shared by others, and not him. maybe.
just a thought.

has he asked you to possibly join or even watch .. I know as a male we dont like to admit when we are interested in something like that with our significant others, he might want to but is afraid you might think he is wanting keep an eye on you.. Sit and talk to each other to find out, communication is a key part in making relationships last

how bout u ask him to be your donor...

what does it help to feed off of each other?
its like a circle, or like pouring water from one cup to another, and then pouring the water back in the first cup and starting over again.

it's the taste of blood and the energy that you give and get off from it... on top of that it's not like your putting the blood into you veins your drinking it not lke getting a blood transfussion...

There is times in life that there are some things that you can't do to be able to get somewhere and there will be times when you'll have to do things to get somewhere. The choice is yours alone.

lAterz And peAce

Blood feeding is just...not natural and has no benefits...just my medical opinion...and medical community...but, anyway, maybe your boyfriend doesn't feel right about all this as from my point of view... but the question is how do you feel about your boyfriend? Do you love him, does he love you? Your nature and maybe his doesn't have to stand in the way of your feelings for eachother...

Through personal experience, a person who doesn't accept your lifestyle is hard to be with. They get jealous, think that while feeding you get off on it (Though often it is true) and are frightened that you'll ditch them for your "vampy" friends. Such jealousy makes relationships with normal people nearly impossible. But I bet if you talk to him, maybe explain it all, if you haven't already, he'll be fine. And if you've withheld anything about it, it is best if you tell the WHOLE truth. leaving un-said facts to doubt and uncertainty will only make things harder. Best of luck, and at least he's not begging you to "change" him. ;)

He shouldn't pick things out about you and not like them. If he loves you, he must love all of you. Tell him your reasons and listen to his and try to compromise if you two feel you should stay together

all I can say is what so many people before me have, that you can't pretend to be something your not, if he doesn't like what your doing work out a simple answer for both of you. keep talking with him.

I do think that he needs to accept it because there is nothing that you can do to change it. But if it's because he's scared than give it time. It takes time for people to come around to something new. Help him work through it and understand that it's not a bad thing.

And if in the end it still doesn't work out than it wasn't meant to be. but don't give up too quickly, first wait and see if you can help him to understand. He may come around.
-MixedBlood-

aww.. I know what your going through. it is hard.. i think you should do what i did and just sit back and watch. see if you really want to be with someone who doesnt understand/or accept who you are.. I had to walk away. i hope you choose what works best.. I hope you can make it work without it leading to a break-up though. i think you can.

Be true to you're self. You'll be happier and he will be happier in the long run.

hunny if he can't accept you and the way things are you have to go sorry but it will only cause more hurt and pain the longer he dosen't understand or trusts you

I had similiar problems with my Ex, we made it work for a while, 9 mounths, but that amoungst other things formed a to bigger barrier between us, when it ended i felt so much more liberated

tell him its a need and if he cant understand it then ask him if he wants to be your donnor if he says no then walk away.

I don`t think this is a good advice...you have to try to work thing out, not end the relationship based on a simple "No" answer... If you take rush decisions you might end up alone and regret the things you could have if you just would`ve not let your pride stand in the way...

It seems that the same advice is being repeated.

I hope it works out for the best.