The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I have been looking through many threads and see a continuing problem. Participating in a public forum has many rewards....it is a means to inform the general public about a certain topic or idea of interest. The problems arise whenever participants lose sight of it true purpose.

We all come from differing walks of life and philosophies.....each has it's own rich history and wisdom. When a thread is initiated and a topic is posted, we wish to get a perspective from our peers. The headaches begin and many wonderful discussions are closed due to a few who can't grasp the idea of a friendly discussion or receiving information from a different perspective.

For too many, whenever perspectives or opinions differ from their own....become obsessed with CONVERTING everyone to their position. Are we preaching or honestly trying to provide new and useful information from a differing point of view??? Let's get off of our soapboxes and from behind our pulpits and just share information, create lively discussions, advertise, create virtual cafes and bars.....have FUN and build lasting friendships!!!

Sad Examples:

"I think that is stupid and you shouldn't believe in that sort of thing because I don't and that's why!!!"

"I have believed this way all my life and it's worked for me...you are the way you are because you can't accept my truth."

"If you don't want to believe what I am telling you, then go on and stay ignorant."

My friends, we are all better than this!!!

*claps* you're right.

But unfortunately,even if this is the internet,we're still comunicating with people and some can't hold an intellectual discussion.

I like very much discussions(I guess everyone noticed it lol) and I like very much debating with those who disagree with me(not because I like to fight but I like to hear in this case read different opinions,cause usually I learn a lot from them) but unlucikily it happens that some take an opion as a personal attack,misunderstand,or even worse:have that I know it all, am right you're wrong attitude.

It happens,there's no solution for it,it is part of the human nature.

Well we cant judge anyone in here from 3-4 phrases she/he said,and when we talk with someone we cant see her or his face to see his morphasms if hes joking or anything else and many times misunderstandings happen.Its true the phrases you refair to have a dominating something(cant find the word:) but perhaps is his/hers idea on advising someone of course with the wrong way but I dont blame him or her but the person who hears them

You make a very valid point and I agree with you wholeheartingly on your thought. My direction is concerning those who on a consistent basis make it a point to denigrate and condescend on someone just wishing to share an alternate view. I am taking into consideration that everyone has their own distinct personalities...some more prominent than others. My desire is to motivate an attitude of information, understanding and appreciation. I am enjoying your participation and welcome any further thoughts. :)

Yes I understand but whatever you do you cant change nothing thats their character,we cant be all the same and for sure a person never changes he/she may wearing masks but underneath is the same

I honestly agree....and whatever little bit helps. ;)

Obviously we can't get through to everyone. Individuals must learn to read everything in context and look at the big picture. There is much wisdom here.

So true here. I've seen the same problems...I was gunna make a thread about it, but it looks like you beat me to it.

Like I said in a thread before. If you can't respect and be willing to open your mind to someone's opinion from the oppisite side you don't belong in the forums...and are ignorant!

opinons are opinons no matter how ignorant or stupid a person may come off as being. we post them to hear these opinons..that way we can grow and learn.

That's stupid, and you're wrong. I don't believe that, and you shouldn't either. I've always thought that, and you're wrong if you can't see that. But if you don't want to believe me, you can just stay dumb.

But really, you're quite right. I think a lot of people on here just don't quite grasp the concept of debate.

I agree with you guys... but to be quite honest the problem is simply that so many people are hard headed plus badly educated (if at all) that they don't understand that respecting and undrstanding eachothers opinions is a virtue! So much for borhterhood!

Sharing to increase our richness in knowledge is one thing, but there are those who are opinionated and educated on their subject and justly put their viewpoint forward. It is like a class of mathematics, there may be many solutions to finding the right answer… Who is to say which way is the best if they all arrive at the same answer?

“The opposite of wisdom is folly, meaning the short-term self-indulgence which marks out the person who doesn't think about long-term priorities and goals but lives on a day-to-day basis, asking…What is the most fun thing to do now?" Let me have something to say for the sake of saying it!

Participating in a conversation in the forum is meant to be researched and meaningful, as DomAngelus says, but that doesn’t mean to be judgmental towards people when you do not agree. We have to be adult, and if you can’t well… “Grow up”

Anyway, on the bigger scale of things, as One once said here.. “ On the grand cosmic scale of things none of us are entitled to have an opinion.” When you think about that and in the context it was said, it rings true. :)

I'm moving this to category 1.

Please refrain from discussion on the comment of one not being entitled to an opinion. People get their knickers in a bunch when they hear that... And they really have no idea what it really means.

Opinions are "like a$%holes..everyone has one......blow it off it you don't agree.....you don't have to live with them....;)

I feel everyone is entitled to their opinion..and it doesn't have to agree with mine...I want people to be honest and share their opinion whether I feel the same or not....thats why its called discussion...I usually try to look at things from both sides...I ask no one to agree or disagree with me...just voice your opinion...we all must have a voice...let it be heard...just dont try to sway anyone your way .....they may not agree...accept it or dont....

Dom a great and well written thread i am one who myself dont like being told what to do i will learn for myself if at times its too late well it was meant to be for me to learn so have assistance to offer i am to think someone may look at what i say and grab something in their way but i dont force nothing on noone and i hope ppl realise what this post is about otherwise when did CIA and government workers move in here with the rest of us easy dont dictate float a thought

yeah i know exactly what u mean, i dont get why some people cant just accept the opinion u give and move on rather than try and put the meaning behind their opinion and try and change ur mind, its stupid.

Great thread Domangelus. I agree with Chasmal. To be able to hear, and to accept a contrary opinion without throwing a tantrum, is more then a virtue..In these days, is an Art.

this is why I'm glad I met dom..and glad he is my friend!!!

"wise words from a wise mind!"

I agree with most of you...A person should be able to voice a personal opinion without someone attacking them instead of in a respectful manner say why they disagree.

Also since this is the internet,everyone is able to behave like a bully cause he's behind a monitor,but when it comes to face to face it's different.That's why here is more easy to say you're wrong am right,am perfect you're not!

Everyone is sharing some very wonderful thoughts. I appreciate all your feedback and encouragement. Thank you....I value your input.

Dominic Angelus

This is a very good point you have made Dom. I see it more and more in almost every post.
If people are going to be on an adult oriented site then they should act like adults.

OMG!

“Hold that thread down Brer Domangelus! Hold him down! I'll stand out here and see fair play. Hold him down, Brer Domangelus! Hold him down!”

The controversial thread, he jumped and he humped, and he ripped and reared, and he snorted and he tore. But yet Brer Domangelus hung on, and still Brer Miz skipped around and hollered:

“Hold him down, Brer Domangelus! You got him where he can't neither back nor squall. Hold him down, Brer Domangelus!” says he.

Yeah and I can see this thread going the distance; snort.

LOL MIz, you need bridled! All good valid points you are making Dom Angelus :)

The problem here on VR is some people are sharing an OPINION, not trying to set forth a thread to further discussion. When a person proffer’s an opinion, it is a personal view or feeling about a subject, thus when it is countered, it is taken as a personal attack, thus the answers you posted occur. Learning to craft a question, or submit a query is an art, and when it is done properly, you wind up with a threads like this one, an exchange of ideas, and points of view that people can learn from, not fight over

This is a wonderful example of an exchange of thoughts, ideas, and opinions. All of you justify my reasons to keep on hoping for the best. The Vampire Rave is going to shine brighter because of great people such as you. Thanks to all of you.

well its not that people take it wrong when some one has a diffrent view its when they respond like this...


LordOfPenisAnus.... what ARE you talking about? she was trying to manipulate anyone she could... sounds very similar to someone else actually...

and besides... you two were against each other... what's your angle?


thats when people take it personally..

we should respect each other as we wish to be respected..

dare brother this thread is one of the best i have seen yet thank you for opening it.

Lord Ryu Of Noctem Aeternus.
May Mother night keep you safe in her loving embrace

...great thread! i think alot of this has a lot to do with maturity. an adult attitude is a side affect of maturity. this comes from experience and taking the first baby steps when becoming an adult. i keep this in mind when discussiong issues here - alot of folks here are very young and just learning their social skills; others are merely socially handicapped for various reasons - most of them viable. its the shoe needs breaking in, and gently usually makes for a better fit and a longer-wearing shoe. ergo, i take it all with a grain of salt and a mound of understanding. in the end, it usually all works out. :)

This is what others need to keep in there hearts and minds when reading a thread.
this way all would be fine.


HIGHER THINKING


Live with an open mind. To live with an open mind, is to live with understanding. To live with understanding, is to live with peace. To live with peace is to live with love. To live with love is to live with GOD!

Not saying that you have to have faith in god for those who don't all its saying is to keep an open mind and have love and respect for your brother or sister..

thank you again my brother Lord DomAngelus for such a thread.

Yours in shadow Lord Ryu Of Noctem Aeternus.
May Mother Night keep you safe in her loving embrace

Again, I thank everyone who has participated in this thread. This is a wonderful example of class and maturity within the VR. ;)

very good thread.

A very good point paramour!!!!!!

And again an opening statement by Dom that should be read more than once!!

"we are better than this my friends!"

Eh, it's an inevitable part of any forums. We either learn to live with it or toss it out.

There is a real difference between expressing your opinion and aving discussions, and telling others that only your way is right.

As with every forum, people take a discussion opertunity i.e.

"Why do you think that?"
or
"I do not share that belief but find it very interesting."

As code for "You are totally wrong and I hate you."


THAT is what the real shame is. For example, as week I gt called an idiot, and to shut up, because I said that I had a theory.

Very good results in your thread Dom. Well done.

I think that alot of people do that alot with share opinion.

but goddam...we all must admit too that we as well ,love the drama when we read?come on...tell me you deep down dont get a kick outta "arguing your point",or reading someone that just dont want to calmly debate the issue...lol.Come on...we all regress to the occasional name calling, my opinions are better than yours attitude and its a good thing.

heres were it go's wrong its the way they say it . you can say what you think but why do you have to down someone by saying your way of looking at things which people seem to do alot here..if they knew how to word there comments with out trying to put someone down there would be less fighting

Very good way to put it Lord Ryu.

Luciouswolfe has a point, it depends on how its portrayed though.

I don't think we'll ever see eye to eye about other peoples opinions, we'll always have that twinge that says we;re right.

nice point of view...

I always listen to someone else's point of veiw, because even if I think they are 100% off the rocket I like to figure out how people's minds work... then you know how they'll re-act and how to block their negative thoughts...

I always figure out theri argument before them.. and arrange counter arguments for when they figure it out.

you can have very interesting information .
but, if put in the wrong words or context(unintentionally) people will turn away

i do agree with you whole heartedly. every one has an opinion but they must remember that is it their opinion not something that other people must agree with

I think many of us could learn a little something on this subject. But I also think alot of problems come from ppl passing off their opinions as fact.

As always Dominic, it is a pleasure to hear your point of view.

I think that through threads like this reminders can be left for those that are trigger happy on the "my way or the highway" attitude.

Live and let live. Much like religion, agreement is not neccessary for passionate views to exist.

As I already said in my first post I like debating,and learn a lot from others' opinions and sometimes they make me think.

I don't post my opinions to show how ''right'' I am.

I believe no one can be 100% right or wrong,cause they're only opnions.What is right for me,it's not necessary right for others and vice versa.

I don't mind when a person disagrees with me,cause I expect it happens.I never pretended that everyone would agree with me!

What I can't stand is when I get misunderstood,when people put in my mouth things which I didn't say(ok in this case it's the internet but hope you got my point) and when am offended just because I disagree with someone.

Also I've noticed that some people just read what they want in a post,then attack someone and proves clearly that they didn't even understood the point!!!!

Agreed to a point.

this is why I rarely comment too much in the forums these days....too many people can't keep it civil....and that just caters to the lowest common denominator

we could do better... but i dont think its going to

Wise words from a wise man for sure.

I think everyone has said it all. ;-)

yes..everyone has said everything that i was going to say.. good job everyone!

For example, Im being called all sorts of things in Waza's thread because Im a vegetarian.

People may say that they respect the opinions of others, but the posts in that thread show the complete opposite, and I find it really upsetting that everytime I have a blief or opinion that doesn't really fit in, I end up having to defend myself.

Here! Here!!!

And Echo, I like you, no matter what you eat! ;)

Everyone defends his/her beleifs Echo.

Certainly everyone is entitled to an opinion. The problem is the majority of people's opinions are stupid. There's a lot more fact out there than people imagine. I take issue when people state opinions that aren't substantiated by facts. Granted, there is a lot of leeway involved when considering situations that are theoretical or not very well known, but the lack of evidence isn't free ground to assert whatever you feel like. Even in the most abstract situations, a reasonable inference can be made. All I would like is for people to actually think through what they say or (god forbid) do some research. I understand that people are lazy creatures, and that intelligence is a bell curve. It's a very simple fact though, that if everyone has an opinion they won't all be correct. And don't think that opinions are groundless by nature. The nature of an opinion is that it is held with confidence, but not directly substantiated by fact. Groundless opinions hold no meaning, as one can speculate the existence of anything.

oh so true..

I was always taught that no matter how off the wall you may think someone's opinion is, it is just that...their opinion. Not to get on the whole if you don't have anything nice to say trip, but really...If someone has a thought or idea, what good does it do to run it through the mud...leave it open to discussion...who knows, you may even make a valid point on something that the person may not have seen before. Be courtious, and give out the same respect that you would wish your thread to have.

Yes, to each his own and all that loveliness. I like to see others views on the subject too though.

Quite well said domangelus, when I post a forum I'm looking for interesting conversations or positive feed back not someone pushes in my faces my mistakes or anyt of those things.

i think your right tools on this subject i think people need too open up listen i don't ask you beilive the exact samething as others just atleast hear them out and learn something from them

this seems to happen over and over again!

well echo....you veggie types are all wierd you know... ;P

I do beleive everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and when they try to convert you and make their opinion yours, well its just frusterating. That what it is your own opionion.

Leave it at that. If someone is interested in the way you are or the way you are trying to present yourself they will ask. Until someone asks you though, dont push. Let it be YOUR opinion not everyone elses.

I can say I have had many people say that it is retarded, stupid or whatever, to my posts, my profile, and that i should change this or that, because it would do this or that, but honostly, i listen, i take it as their opinion, and i leave it at that.

I do beleive if you cannot play nice, leave the playground.

If you do not have anyhting nice to say, go away.

Nice Thread, you made me think..

>~wink~

celestial

I used to live with that every day! My cousin and I used to room together in my apartment, and he was always throwing his opinions around and ridiculing those who didn't share his views. Oh, but God forbid you should EVER get offended by what he had to say! Tell him you didn't like his ridiculing and he'd play it off like he was joking--and then proceed to ridicule you for not sharing his sense of humor.

*sigh* It's like my grandmother used to say: "This is life in the 21st century: Technology advances, people remain the same." I didn't fully understand what she meant by that until my father once made a comment about road rage: "The wider the highway, the narrower the minds." And what highway is wider than the Information Superhighway?

*gets real quiet for a second and wonders why everyone is saring at him with strange looks*

That's pretty much all I wanted to say, really. Thank you.

P.S. Yes, my whole family is philosophical like that. It's like living in a house full of Fortune Cookies!

I want to let everyone know that each one you is sharing some phenomenal feedback. I appreciate your thoughts and the grace you are sharing them with. This has been an wonderful example of an intelligent exhange of views. A *10+*

I do believe your post if of very importance for even in this one itself there are still people who cannot understand the meaning of it. For does same people who only care about themselves and not what others think is more than vial for such imprudence can lead you to worse situations. At the end what really is of search here is to let other know that even if you think you as an individual think you are right you should hear and understand others opinion before embarrassing yourself by saying such ignorant remark as "this is me the way I think and your not going to change it" * that was a mere example.

my favorite line when it comes to opinions is
"Opinions are like rear ends, every one has one and most of them stink." Ok now the point I was trying to make is that we all have an opinion and most people don't agree with me nor should they. I am a very conservitive person and my belief structure is probably in direct conflict with the fact that i am into vampires. I will not try to force either on anyone and no one can force theirs on me.

It was a good idea to point out the problem and hope people see it for what it is.

well.. i believe that everyone has the right for his/her opinion... and it`s not fair to judge others or to make fun of other people`s opinion because nobody is better than another.

well said

I think the opportunity to share our ideas with people from so many different countries, cultures and ages is wonderful. But with this vast diversity will come infinite differences in everything.

With so many different folk, we are all bound to agree to disagree at some point. It take maturity to ask if someone is attempting to be funny or truly attacking, because I sometimes think many of our "misunderstandings" stem from how we ourselves speak, and use certain words, not how the writer of the post does.

But MANY thanks for bringing this up, hopefully it gives those inclined to attack when hot under the collar the pause needed to debate instead (I'm with you Deathnitegrl- I love to explore issues and am saddened with people do not want to explore an idea, just state said opinion).

LOL Cancer, are you saying that some of us have our panties in a wad?

you say the panties in a wad like it is a bad thing? ahahahahahaha

While it is true that we are a diverse bunch here, and that our opinions are going to vary , we can still keep things civil and discuss items in an adult, mature manner.. altho not all of us here are adults... and that should be taken into consideration also.

So true. There is a code of conduct everyone should oblige. It's called netiquette. For further reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Netiquette
Maybe it's a good idea to bind users to these rules if they want to create a new account. Like with those pesty software licenses :) Anyway, it's for a good cause. Then again, probably no one would read it anyway and just click 'accept'....

Now that I come to think of it, I might just be one of those.... :-P

What I've noticed in opinion sharing, some people take things too personally and “attack “ the person and not the idea.. this is quite below the belt in my book. Since we all came from different parts of the world, we most likely have different points of view. It would do good to keep that in mind. Besides, if everybody thought of the same thing and agreed on everything, wouldn't it the world be such a boring place?

Yeah and it would be full of 1000 I agree lol!

imagine that deathnite! *LOL*

yes! yes! yes! (like a crowd of zombies)

hahaha!

Do believe people here who for many have come to noticed that are rude and think other opinion and opinion themselves are worthless and unless they give one it should not even be made all I have to say of such person/s is that I pity them for you are in serious need of attention.

i think ever one raises a good point but i am srry to say but some ppl well never change

And that is why they are called humans

I have been on the Rave for over a year now, i have seen people come and go, threads opened and closed, its sad but i guess people will be people.

Length.