I sometimes can sense others feelings so strongly it makes me physically sick to my stomach or I cry uncontrolably. It can be from talking to someone or just walking inside a building.
Soemtimes people are so cold or sad or vapid, it is hard to feel that.
How do you deal with it? I'd like some suggestions.
I just block it out personally, I try not to let it get to me because I know I can't save the world, and everyone has problems no matter how big or small. Thats just my opinion and way though, sometimes you have to be cold about it and try to put yourself first.
Thank you. I always get told to put myself first more. Unfortunately it seems nearly impossible no matter how hard I try.
Being in my industry doesn't help either. I deal with cold hearted, materialistic, cheating bitches all day long. That or they come to me to be able to relax.
I once had 4 sisters come in to my work and they were all laughing and crying on and off. They talked of old times and recent. I went into the back room to grab something and I told one of my co workers I had such a sad feeling and I started to cry and my crying turned to sobbing then I had an asthma attack because I couldn't catch my breath. When the sisters were about to leave the oldest pulled me to the side and said "Do you know why we seem to be in such a bittersweet mood today?" "Our mother died today and we had this appointment for a very long time and we decided to come anyways and get some relaxation and celebrate her life"
I nearly fell over!
How beautiful there celebration.
It sounds like you are an empath. Instead of thinking of it as something negative why not be grateful for the gift and hone in trying to make it perfect and work positively for you :)
I've learned to ignore it also... as some people have stated before hand.... But also I've learned to just deal with it also cause everytime I ask if someone is okay they lie to me about how they feel....
I suggest just being the one thats outside looking in Bloody, I mean yes care for them, but know when to draw a line & say I wont go past this...You can't keep feeling everyones pain as well as you're own, you're gonna work yourself into an early grave
Be the outsider looking in, & give advice...It's all you can do....-----Crying and being upset for them isnt going to make their situation better-----, its just going to make yours worse, dont you think?
If you work yourself up like that you're not gonna be much use to start off with love....
Try putting up a shield. Works for a few of my friends.
I deeply have compassion for my friends, and I can empathize with you, because apparently I seem to be good at understanding people, since I'm usually the first that people come to for advice or sympathies...but you can't let it control your life, babe. You need to have a bit of assertiveness about you to balance out your mourning.
One of the most important things about being an empath is that you must learn to discern between your own feelings and the feelings of others around you.
Meditate often. I try to meditate daily.
Shield yourself before you enter a busy place.
If you get overwhelmed, it's important to get away and meditate and re-center yourself.
Mostly, empathy is a great asset. But uncontrolled, it's a major pain in the head.
The more you can separate yourself from others, the better off you are. I don't mean being a hermit, I mean understand yourself and learn to discern between your feelings, which are you, and the feelings of others, which are all them.
Logic doesn't always work in the heat of the moment, but pausing to find out if the emotion you are feeling is truly yours does a great deal towards helping you cope and process the energy, vs integrating it as your own.
Well said Jenova
I personal used to block, however this gift we have to feel emotions helps me feel.
Im more than half dead inside and love the sudden rush of their emotions. To cry with the same feeling to be hurt to the same foundation of ones beliefs … I enjoy symmetry to those I feel for…..
I block it out most of the time unless i need to use this gift for a reason.
Sometimes i have problems reading people so i allow the gift of empathy to flourish.....but mostly I am as cold as ice....it's all down to training and control.
Thank you all so much for all the suggestions, it means so much. I can't be cold, it just isn't me.
It does suck when you can feel peoples hurt and they won't open up to you or they lie to you. That is when I need most to turn it off.
Again, Thank you all so very much.
The only way to close off from sad or negative emotions is to shield yourself and then at the end of your day do a ritual cleansing and grounding to rid yourself of any residual negative emotions. With your shield you can filter through postitive emotions and block out negative. However sometimes no matter how strong a shield you put up some negative emotions get through like grief, because its a strong emotion. Good luck with it and keep us posted on how your going.
Is there a way of totally shutting of empathy cause honestly I don't want it.I have enough trouble coping with my own feelings let alone others.I have become the "hermit ".I can't hardly stand being around ppl anymore.If anyone can help please message me.
I know several empaths... and they deal with it.. and sometimes you can block it out... but consider it a gift not a curse.
I agree with Xtremehate, you develop your own tried and true method, find what works for you. Empathy is not a curse, it can be a wonderful tool to use to help connect with loved ones, and to help people that are important to you to deal with their problems.
I can tell my own feelings from someone elses and I cant seem to block or shield myself from it.And I cant meditate for some reason.
Thank you both for pointing that out .I just get so overwhelmed when hit with some much at one time and forget the beauty of empathy.
It sounds like you need to shield yourself DarkAngel if you want some ideas on shielding then message me.
well I'm one of those people who can turn my emotions on and off. For example if the heart of my world were to die (my little brother) I would ignore for a couple of weeks.
I guess you just have to learn to block things off. It took me a while.
Yeah, thats basically it.....just learn to block it out.....it my take a while but you will learn thru time.......=)
Well I just feel it. I don't block it out because I feel like I'm an empath for a reason. If I block it out then I'm not doing what I'm supposed to.
As other has said block it out or even meld with it. You can also leave the area or get away from the person if you don’t like what you are feeling or dealing with. A person can also try to enhance or change the current state and make it better and more positive.
I tend not to get into others things unless they welcome me and tell me what is going on. If i see a friend of fellow vr member is sad..Ill ask, but if they say nothing I wont press. When a person tells me how they are feeling I soak up the feelings and become that emotion. It is mentally hurtful because any mood you've been in is ruined.
I like it most times. It has just been an issue at work. I can't just walk away. I'm a cosmetologist, so I'm always with a client and on a very tight schedule. Most of my clients are what make me upset inside.
There are ways to shield yourself and block the negative influence of energy on you. There was a thread not too long ago that dealt with blocking techniques and it might be worthwhile for you to do some reading on your own to help defend yourself from unwanted emotions.
I learned to deal with be getting my own emotions in check. You have to remember when trying to help some one that you need to stay cool no matter how strong thier feeling are. For dealing with every day life I would suggest counting in your head or out loud if that works better, to help center yourself. I know it sounds corny but helps me.
I can relate. There have been several posts about how to block things out, but for me it really depends on who these feelings are about. Be careful not to be eaten up with all this, but try and help those who you feel you should. It is a gift, that can also be a curse.
Blessed Be
When I am overwhelmed by empathy and cannot block it out...being tired, unable to focus, caught in the emotion...I try to use the emotion. I bring it into myself and let the tears flow. By bringing it into myself I am reminded that I block too much out and sometimes that is not good either.
What seems to be missing here are the methods *how* to deal with empathy. Not just what to do, but how to do it? Perhaps ppl would like to share their routine practice habits on dealing with empathy... Just a thought.
I deal with my empathy by looking at how that person's life interacts with mine. I then use this knowledge to be a better person. It is my personal goal to not judge people until I know what makes them who they are.
That's my favorite response yet Trivia. The rest are wonderful as well. Trivia yours speak to me.
i used to b like that, but meditation worked for me, u have to learn to ignor it and collect it all in one part of ur body that won't effect u, (stupid me i chose the chest, it hurts) and then meditate every day to get rid of the emotion u feel
I had and I think I still have the same problem... It was told to me that I need to find a way of grounding myself, a way of releasing the bad vibes that were accumulating inside me... I think that you need to find a way to meditate, to gain energy from the Universe... also, a good way is to try to isolate your very personal feelings from the outside ones (it takes a lot of practice) and to, somehow, deviate the outside feeling from impacting your conscience and soul, that way succeeding in only perceiving them but not absorbing them and giving you the illness state...
In addition, any energy practice system (Reiki etc.) is very useful...
A wise man tought me that the key to handling empathy and any other power you may experience is focus and disipline.
This is something that I wish I had...allot of people think I'm cold...and that I don't have any empathy for anyone...which is not the case...I have complete empathy and passion for the ones I love...but those are so few...and I intend to keep it that way...I'm not good with letting people "in"...be great-full you have a wonderful gift;)
I deal with it differently. I simply find an excuse to bounce. I try to be as nice as I can, but it is exhausting sometimes. I have found that too many people just want to suck you dry. Avoidance works for me!
To be honest, I really wish I knew how to more successfully deal with my own empathy.
If I block, I get migraines. If I don't block, I'm overwhelmed, and I still get migraines. It doesn't seem to make any difference, whether emotionally or physically, if I block or don't block. I suffer the same results, simply at different rates and severity, as blocking tends to give me a more intense degree of migraine (with all the associated additional effects, such as nausea, sensitivity to light and sound, etc), just more quickly than when I don't block.
st block it out and there are times when I can't but for the most it is all blocked.
Ghost
I know how you feel morbid lullaby. I hate those dang migraines! It's like torture for being too sensitive. Then I just feel sick. I get what everyone is saying... to block it out. Unfortunately it isn't always so easy for me. And as I have stated before the horrible part of it is at work with my f-in retard clients. They are usually so petty, but so are most people who go to salons that often. Also I can't just walk away in the middle of a service. I'd lose my job or at the very least a paying client.
I find I have great empathy inside of me for most things..it is something that I live comfortably with :)
Yeah it bascially sucks sometimes..don't it? Yup, esp.if I don't shield properly then all that nasty pain,longing,all of it comes rushing in.It seems I pick up on all the bad emotions and not so much the good.
Sorry, meant to finish yer question.How do I deal with it. I just make sure I shield almost all the time, esp.at work(am a nurse)
The best way to deal with it is to accept it. The ability to feel is to truly LIVE. I would rather know empathy than not.
It is a great gift, you can use it in many ways. It makes you intune to others around you there for if you wanted you could help them. You feel what they feel which would give you many good carrer paths, like a theripist or doctor.
Sometimes 'tho I think that when two empaths are together it can create akward moments, to even embarrassing ones..
I personally use my shields as a filtration. I try my darnedest to block out the negative emotions and energies I don't want and allow the positive emotions and energies through. I also if I am having a bad day or there is something really bad happening in the world, shut off completely. I stop watching tv, listening to the radio or reading the papers. I even stop using the net and let my friends and family know I need some down time. Then during this time I meditate and ground myself listen to music that pleases me or just have a darn good cry. What ever it takes.
Oh the other hand I have used my abilities in my role as a counsellor to help people by drawing out their negativity and earthing it as I am talking to them. I have even saved the life of a suicidal friend by drawing out all her negativity, god that was an aweful experience! But it is definately something to be used not hidden or kept in the dark. There is nothing more fun than connecting to people especially other empaths and sharing positive energies lol.
Thanks. I had the best day with empathy yesterday at work. This girl came in who had been raped and she was pregnant and giving the baby up for adoption. I had tears in my eyes but I told her what a hero she was and so strong. I thanked her for being a good person. I could feel the emotion inside her and it was a humbling experience.
I have been able to feel when people are sad or happy without even seeing them but it is good cause then I know that something is wrong and am able to help and know if I am making a difference or not
build walls and psyche up...and yeah your own negative emotions block that too ;)
empathy can be seen as either a gift or a curse. depending upon how u use it. to me, i think it helps me in many situations. i have helped many ppl get thru tough times because i could feel their energy and pain so well, i went thru it with them and was able to help guide them. however there is the occasional person who may give me really bad anxiety or make me feel trapped or claustrophobic . when i run into that, it affects me so much, i shut down. sometimes become depressed. the only thing i was ever able to do , was get away from that person in that moment and recollect myself. clear my thoughts and breathe. usually i stay away from that person til i can handle their presence. u teach ur self as u go.
thats one of the "curses -gifts of being a succabus also
blocking is the only way I can deal with that feeling if it is someone I like and I feel it I try to block the feeling from affecting me but do what I can to make my friend feel better. Strangers I just block
write it out i usually wirte a poem or 10...lol and just get it all out or i meditate
Jenova expressed it well in my opinion. I too am an extreme empath, crowds are difficult, and it's hard to shield, yet be open to someone who needs you. I've found wearing a citrine helps transmute some of the negativity. Empathy is a great tool for a healer, but a gift that has its downfalls as well. I too have the migraines or brainstorms, and at times need to shield and ground some of what I've absorbed from another. I'd never wish to be cold, but an understanding partner would be a blessing.
Feel free to contact me and I'll help in any way I can since I've been dealing with it since I was a little kid, longer than many here have been alive.
When it comes to friends & family i take it on board all the way, i cant help it, when they hurt i hurt, when they cry i cry, etc etc
when it comes to strangers i tend to keep at a distance...i'll help as much as i can but then sometimes it gets abit too much depending on whats wrong....
I dont let other peoples problems effect me, the only people i will try to help are people that i know..everyone else i dont care...
I haven't learnt to ignore it - but I can control it for a while. Then I just collapse and let it flow.
Thanks to everyone for the tips on building walls to protect yourself many of them are really imaginative and good examples, it has given me plenty of things to try to find the right type of shield for myself and thanks for the link Dragon it was really informative.