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An old friend asked me to record "Base" so that he could hear the cadence. I have a voice that is often helpful to me in recording, but not this time. After a dozen frustrating attempts, Irony gave me some advice...here is the result:
This literally exudes power, fear, and exhaustion. I would say I love it, but after a bit of thought, 'love' isn't the right word; In this I hear you in a position I never want to imagine you in, and that echoes in the soul. It is the most powerful thing I have heard come from you, and amazingly emotive. :)
And I'll refrain from the dissertation on how many of our most primal emotions elicit the same physical responses, even if the emotions themselves are very dissimilar...
It's hard to find ways to compliment your writing without repeating myself these days; an act I abhor. I love this, though. As always, I am very glad to know you and proud to be privileged enough to read your work.
Your writing is always an experience for me and I find that anything I can say to describe that experience is eclipsed by the words you used to create it, so just let me say that it is amazing.
Conveyances (audio)
03:09 Jun 23 2008 Times Read: 1,554
My read-through of "Conveyances." Click the link below to hear.
This one conveys so much emotion and strength. I think it is perhaps one of my favourites:) I keep getting drawn back to the line "Fuck your crisper drawer." It is almost like a written slap to the face, a call to pay attention.
I am not sure exactly what I think of this one. It is powerful, certainly. It is exceptionally well written, as are all your works. It challenges me to understand the emotion it conveys, and I am not certain that I can identify with the feeling you have imbued it with. I feel the failing is with my own emotional response though, my all or nothing/never or forever approach to friendships and love, which leaves temporary dalliances as a foreign concept.
And a question for you: Even if you don't agree with a piece of writing...can it still have merit? If only just in the emotion? Can my dalliance still be powerful when read even as you reject it as a personal construct for yourself?
Of course it can, and is! As I said, it challenges me, I've *thought* about this one a lot more to figure out exactly how it is it makes me feel. That alone makes it a worthy piece of art. The fact that I don't identify with it is not a reflection of your work, but more a facet of myself that I had not truly thought about before reading this.
I didn't mean to suggest that I felt criticized. I ask to invite discourse on something that interests me. A comment I get frequently, and my most hated comment is: "I don't get it."
I guess I don't see myself as a cryptic writer. I write for few reasons...to paint pictures in your head and to make you have an emotional response to words used sparingly and focused sharply.
Do I sometimes have a meaning below the meaning? Yes. But reading it at the surface level should always paint a picture and/or give you a feeling if I've done my job. Yours will differ from the next reader because I want you to provide at least half of the experience. That you have makes me happy, even in cases where a piece isn't liked so much or is disliked outright.
It paints a picture for me, the surface meaning is clear and precise. It is the emotional response below that that gave me pause and forced me to think.
("that that". God damnit, English. Why must we be this way?)
It brings to me a range of emotion. An ebb and flow with a well place crescendo. What I hear is, "Look at me, the me of now. Don't look beyond or behind. Be with me in THIS moment."
I am addicted and inspired by your work. Thank you for sharing.
You always write beautifully, I am biased towards your style but I will try to stay a little objective.
I would agree with Ockham pertaining to merit. I believe it works for most things, when you have respect for someones ideals irrespective if you agree or not on the subject it will always have merit.
As for it being powerful, if people don't agree they will just call you a power hungry nut, so 'yes' it's still powerful.
And my little'ol comment will be lost at the bottom of the chain...
...but I'm glad I could inspire you a bit for this. How often is it one word that strikes our fancy and helps to give birth to art. Something as wonderful as your creation.
I fear to assume, but in this case, I think... I get it.
You never fail to blow me completely away. This one tightened my gut, stopped my breathing and put me on the edge of my seat like one of the few good horror movies.
You'll never know how appreciated that was. I have been struggling with whether or not this one sucked. Thank you for your always welcome comment, critique, and encouragement.
The gut tightening breath stealing feeling this poem gave me has already been said so eloquently by beastt. I think this is probably the most powerful poem I have ever seen you write. I feel this mans pain and grief intimately. Your words punch those emotions right through my chest and into my heart. Don't you dare for one moment think that this poem sucks. It knocks me off my feet. It is wonderful!
I do believe I have run out of positive descriptors and unique good things to say about your art.
This one... is special. It took me a couple times through to get the feel for it, and I'm sure in your heart, and how you hear it in your mind, you feel it in a different way than I do.
The thing I love most about this is, it is a bit to the left of your usual writing. You're not afraid to take risks, to try something new, to go somewhere you haven't gone before.
That is such a refreshing quality, and one I rarely find in the people I meet.
This isn't just another wonderfuly written poem - this is another piece of you that you have shared with all of us.
She (you, Joli), has range for certain. Were I ever able to approach her ability with words, I know I'd cower in one safe corner, afraid to move from an area of comfort. Joli, you stretch and we gasp. You shift footing and we hold our breath. You tilt your head 93° to the horizon and you leave us almost too stunned to speak.
They're words: just words. And you wield them like a Samurai, cutting the candle's flame or carving a gaping wound, to watch our hearts fall from our chest.
I'm just going to point you at this the next time you are worried that you've written something that sucks. You have never written anything that I have not thoroughly enjoyed, and while self-criticism is what grinds the edge of talent, your talent is already sharp enough to slice the soul. Any sharper, and I might bleed out just from reading.
As your last two entries here have shown again, you are a master with the English language. I could only hope to one day be half as good as you at creating images with my words.
Some days, I wish I had a window into your mind just to try and understand how you do it...
What I love about this, and what to me makes this an original perspective of a very human condition/inspiration for poetry are these two sections:
And I shoplift time,
Never enough.
I crave your words
Like banana cream pie
On a summer day.
You're good, Joli. Really, really good. This is gorgeous, inspiring writing, as is all of your writing that I've been lucky enough to read.
Now the question is, when are you going to publish a chapbook of your poetry and or short stories? That is, of course, if you haven't already. Of course, if you have, then how do I find it?
My five days down south will never be enough to grasp the magic that must fill your world. I yearn to know these words, their meanings and taste, but my five days could never be enough.
It's like trying to catch the feel of feathers as they take to the sky when all you have are hands.
COMMENTS
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Irony
04:59 Jun 29 2008
That turned out so well:) It is a stunning poem and your reading just emphasises that:)
Ockham
05:38 Jun 29 2008
This literally exudes power, fear, and exhaustion. I would say I love it, but after a bit of thought, 'love' isn't the right word; In this I hear you in a position I never want to imagine you in, and that echoes in the soul. It is the most powerful thing I have heard come from you, and amazingly emotive. :)
Oceanne
06:33 Jun 29 2008
I find no words to describe.Once again,I am left speechless.
BLOODLIFE
10:01 Jun 29 2008
Well, that worked.... in a very big way.
Sinora
11:19 Jun 29 2008
I enjoyed that x
Vampirewitch39
14:49 Jun 29 2008
Reading the poem you do not understand just how wonderful it is. When I hear your voice reading/emotions in the words... it's stunning. :)
birra
15:19 Jul 03 2008
That was awesome. Truly awesome.
And I'll refrain from the dissertation on how many of our most primal emotions elicit the same physical responses, even if the emotions themselves are very dissimilar...
...yeah...