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Joli's Journal


Joli's Journal

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18 entries this month
 

19:18 Nov 29 2008
Times Read: 751





The house knows that a man no longer lives there. She actually heard the house giggle right before the door knob broke. Things are breaking regularly now. Dryer. Dishwasher. And alas, the door knob. It's like a car warranty expiring the day before your engine blows up. The only conclusion can be...cars and houses are sentient, and they have sick senses of humor!


It HAS to be that the house is doing this. Whose door knob breaks? She has lived in old homes with their original door knobs. This one is only a few years old. One day, with no warning, it was as though someone had locked them in. You could turn and turn it, but would the turning yield the obvious result? No! It only has ONE job...to open the damn door. That's it. She does not ask it to help out in any other way. Just be a door knob.


There may have been a few expletives, but then what does your cool-headed and quick-thinking heroine do? She takes some Tylenol and eyes her bed longingly. Then, she hastens off in search of a tool. And because your heroine is a chick, she does not limit herself to tools the man kept in a red metal box in the garage (which he has taken), oh no! Your heroine is resourceful and opens many kitchen drawers. She rejects all of the cutlery sadly, after double-checking each.


Then, buried in the junk drawer beneath old Glade plugins, trash bag twist ties, a bottle cap that reads, "Sorry, try again" (which she believes to be a message of Providence), and one orange shoelace, she finds a multi-tool...thingy. A quick once-over identifies a phillips head tucked into the chamber, and so, she marches back to face the door.


For a moment she misses that guy, but a quick flashback makes the multi-tool thingy shine in her hand beneath the tastefully subdued foyer light. (Damn, she has good taste.) And so, to the accompaniment of humming angels, she lifts that thingy and unscrews the door knob. She reaches the guts of the beast inside and confirms that, indeed, a round...thing within has broken and now, the door knob does not hook to the thingy in the jamb and something clever must be done.


Just then, she discovers that a fingernail placed just right at the top of the lock assembly could engage a sliding mechanism that retracts the thingy in the jamb. Cool. She teaches her young and beautiful blonde daughters the secret of the door knob guts and they all decide that they can live with this.


The next morning, our heroine sleeps in after a long day at the Renaissance Festival, a bit too much mead and codpiece inspection. She awakens to the sound of a power drill. The guy had come by to see his beautiful blonde daughters and did not know the secret of the fingernail. He spies the open wound and exposed guts of the door knob and begins to pull things from his tool chest. He carries off the locking mechanism to the far away and mysterious aisles of Leowe's.


Door knob fixed...She is very clever. :)

COMMENTS

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STABB666
STABB666
20:36 Nov 29 2008

Dammit!



I wanted to be the guy to give you a new knob...





Joli
Joli
21:00 Nov 29 2008

OK, that's funnier than anything I wrote!





Irony
Irony
23:10 Nov 29 2008

My smiles at your writing were replaced with laughter at stabbs comment:) I love your words. My life would be the poorer if I ever had to go without them.





Beastt17
Beastt17
00:14 Nov 30 2008

A drill?





captainglobehead
captainglobehead
13:46 Dec 01 2008

I never doubted the outcome.





 

05:39 Nov 26 2008
Times Read: 839


When you don't care for an administrative action, you always have the option to rate that admin's profile a 1. It will probably make you feel better. It's FAR better than possibly asking a question or opening a dialog with them.


I hope you now feel that you have expressed yourself. I'm surprised that you forgot my portfolio. I invite you to add your 1 there as well. I want you to feel as good as possible. Have a lovely day.


COMMENTS

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Morrigon
Morrigon
05:45 Nov 26 2008

Oh, well don't mind if I do.... ^.^





Joli
Joli
05:51 Nov 26 2008

I'm here to serve :)





Sinora
Sinora
09:06 Nov 26 2008

Your so good your bad......very bad...lol





BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
10:19 Nov 26 2008

Always thinking of others .... selfless!





StoneCrow
StoneCrow
11:42 Nov 26 2008

Woohoo! 1's for everyone...wait, I have been down this road if memory serves. And with a final total rate of 2.68 I took that cake and it was bitter, so none of this stealing the show by asking for 1's o.0





Nightgame
Nightgame
13:47 Nov 26 2008

But... but I enjoy the questions :p Since I probably haven't rated you at all I get to be the control group :)





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
13:58 Nov 26 2008

:() I think you like the 1's... I really do. I can just see you sitting there with a smile.





ThothLestat
ThothLestat
16:10 Nov 26 2008

*shakes head*



1s lack creativity. I like dishing out 2s.

but I would never to that to Auntie Jo.





Joli
Joli
18:14 Nov 26 2008

You guys are so funny. 1s are a non-issue. I actually don't mind if someone expresses an opinion that way. I was having fun with the person. And to their credit, they came back and changed the rating. Not sure I'll ever know why because they blocked me.





artemka
artemka
18:37 Nov 26 2008

its cos they can't count past 1





Beastt17
Beastt17
20:20 Nov 26 2008

I've been rating you #1 for years!





Ockham
Ockham
01:30 Nov 27 2008

You're stealing my 1-gathering gig :( Get off mah lawn! *waves shotgun drunkenly*





 

03:05 Nov 24 2008
Times Read: 894


Irony directed me to a certain ad


Irony: What in hells name is going on with her tits?

Irony: Did she poke her knees up through her shirt neck?

Joli: I KNOW!

Irony: I think I am afraid of it

Joli: I bet...

Joli: there are TEETH IN THERE!

Irony: hahahahah

Joli: You know I'm right.

Joli: It's a Venus man trap.

Irony: hahah yes


COMMENTS

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NightBlossom
NightBlossom
06:40 Nov 24 2008

LOL thats what VW was talking about.





BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
09:37 Nov 24 2008

Girl talk huh!!





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
13:21 Nov 25 2008

Well the ad has people looking- but not for what they want us to see. lol



Gods- its a small little family we have here when we all notice the same thing.





 

03:09 Nov 18 2008
Times Read: 988


AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! Mommy!







COMMENTS

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sPerAnZa
sPerAnZa
03:15 Nov 18 2008

There's is always a time when words are better left unspoken; and to this I agree.



uugggghhhhhhhhh





Joli
Joli
03:29 Nov 18 2008

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,

Than are dreamt of in your philosophy."





Beastt17
Beastt17
05:42 Nov 18 2008

It's the perfect answer to places that won't let you bring your pets with you.





StoneCrow
StoneCrow
10:47 Nov 18 2008

Ummm, they make pills for fix your need to scare little children :P





captainglobehead
captainglobehead
13:05 Nov 18 2008

Just when I was about to say how happy I was that you wrote again...





sahahria
sahahria
15:11 Nov 18 2008

You know, I've lanced someone only to have what appeared to be tiny caviar come out. And no I'm not making it up, person was stung by something at their pool, and they were seeing me 3 weeks later- it was one of the strangest things I've seen in my practise.





xXPinkyXx
xXPinkyXx
17:55 Nov 18 2008

Ewwwww ew ew ew ew ewwie!





placidchaos
placidchaos
11:25 Nov 26 2008

Ok, WHAT is with the worms coming out of that guy?





 

02:41 Nov 18 2008
Times Read: 1,004


Check this out, Speranza. I want my mommy :(

Oh god



Morri says, "Do NOT watch this." You have been warned:


COMMENTS

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sPerAnZa
sPerAnZa
03:07 Nov 18 2008

Ehhh. Things that make you CRINGE.

I saw that when I was doing some research on it.

Even when the cricket gets eaten by a frog or a fish... the worm STILL lives. It just exits through it's gills/nose/mouth and so on.

There's a video for it...



It makes me want my teddy. :(





Beastt17
Beastt17
05:44 Nov 18 2008

"Now here this! Now hear this! All hands, abandon cricket!"



CTyler
CTyler
22:20 Nov 18 2008

Invasion of the bodysnatchers, anyone?





 

02:31 Nov 18 2008
Times Read: 1,010





My friend explaining a winter day to me because I haven't experienced many. My friends often sound like poets to me, just when they describe the things that inspire them or give them pause:

"There's the sound of the wind, but not the sound of it rustling anything, just that one rasping rush... makes the wet thuds of snow sliding off an edge somewhere so much punctuation, the crack of an exploding tree so much more so. You breathe different... too deep and it hurts, but it's crisp and clean and completely devoid of humidity so you almost want to pant like the whole place is really frozen"

COMMENTS

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00:49 Nov 18 2008
Times Read: 1,039





My friend, Liam, has fueled new nightmares with this revelation about the freakouts of nature.



Liam: my roommate just showed me part of a nature documentary covering a fungus that has parasitic spores that infect ants... they start acting illogically, then climb up toward light, clamp on to something sturdy, die, and have mushrooms explode out of their heads


Liam: that's mildly horrifying


Joli: oh my god


Joli: that's horrible


Liam: isn't it? apparently there are a number of subspecies which each victimize a single type of insect. The ants seemed cleverest, though... anyone they found acting crazy they carted off to the middle of nowhere


Liam: it just strikes you as something out of a bad science fiction... stage 1, locate host. stage 2, take over its brain. stage 3, direct host towards a safe place to grow. stage 4, kill host and use its body as fuel for the fruiting body. stage 5, release millions more spores


Ant Fungus

Thanks a LOT, buddy!

COMMENTS

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Morrigon
Morrigon
00:54 Nov 18 2008

This is still one of those subjects that scares the living shit out of me. Thanks for bringing that back up for me Jo.. I appreciate it.



*shudder*



That is horrifying.





Morrigon
Morrigon
00:57 Nov 18 2008

p.s.

The intelligence of these little creatures is something that comforts me. I have no idea why. Maybe it makes me feel like humans aren't the only social creatures like this. We're not so alone.



The fact that they "know" is incredible and fascinating.





ThothLestat
ThothLestat
02:02 Nov 18 2008

*kack*



poor little bastards.





Beastt17
Beastt17
06:10 Nov 18 2008

Almost as cool as the lancet liver fluke (Dicrocoelium dendriticum), which spends its adult life in the liver of its host, usually a grazing mammal. Once it mates, the eggs are excreted by the host in its feces. Then a snail comes along, eats the feces and becomes infected by the larval parasites. Once inside the snail the parasites burrow through the wall of the gut and take up residence in the digestive tract where they develop into their juvenile stage. The snail's body reacts by growing cysts around the parasites which are then excreted. Ants become the secondary host when they use the snails slime trail as a source of moisture and ingest some of the cysts filled with lancet flukes.



Inside the ant the parasite makes its way to the gut and then begins to move all through the body. Some of them move to a cluster of nerves below the esophagus called the sub-esophageal ganglion, where they take control of the ant's actions through the manipulation of the nerve bundle. As the air cools at night, the parasites cause the ants to climb to the top of a blade of grass where it clamps on until morning (much like the fungus). As the air warms, the parasite releases control and the ant goes on about it's usual day. The heat of the day would kill both the ant and the parasites. But each night as the air cools, the parasites again take over and the ant climbs to the top of a blade of grass where it spends the night with its mandibles clamped onto the grass. Eventually, a grazing animal comes by, eats the grass and ingests the ant. Then the cycle repeats.



Grazing animal >> Feces >> Snail >> Cycsts >> Feces >> Ant >> sub-esophageal ganglion >> Grass blade >> Grazing animal...



...rinse, repeat.





 

14:26 Nov 17 2008
Times Read: 1,088





Exposing people...that's my gig. I'm the Vampaparazzi! You know this guy? His name is actually misleading...You see what leaving off a few letters can do? Sneaky clever boy. Don't be fooled, though...to the coppers, this notorious guy's street name is Stoned Crow. Here's a surveillance shot I got of him scoring a rock.

Photobucket



Shhh...don't tell him I told you.

COMMENTS

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ThothLestat
ThothLestat
14:34 Nov 17 2008

I knew he was holding.





sahahria
sahahria
14:35 Nov 17 2008

Yeah you have to be careful with that one... you sure that's rock? Word has it he's onto the psychedelic drugs now... if that's sugar- run for da hills!



lol! :P





StoneCrow
StoneCrow
15:40 Nov 17 2008

I remember that shot. It was right before the fuzz nabbed me to a nickle in county...lol.





Sinora
Sinora
19:15 Nov 17 2008

Omg you were nabbed by the fuzz ??? lmao





 

23:05 Nov 16 2008
Times Read: 1,128


The secret identity of ThothLestat revealed at long last!

Photobucket



Shhhh...do NOT tell him that I showed you.

COMMENTS

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Morrigon
Morrigon
23:08 Nov 16 2008

I KNEW it!





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
23:29 Nov 16 2008

lol There is a joke here about if its a jackass or horse..but I am not making it.





BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
23:34 Nov 16 2008

I'm just counting his age..





Joli
Joli
23:41 Nov 16 2008

*GASP!* He's a gift horse...stop looking him in the mouth!





ThothLestat
ThothLestat
14:11 Nov 17 2008

*hmph*

I leave town for ONE day and come home to THIS?



oh, yeah... I'm a gift alright...the gift that keeps on giving. I give until it hurts.

*steps on Joli's foot with my hoof*



hmph, I say.





 

Momma Monkey

00:01 Nov 15 2008
Times Read: 1,173





Beastt and I were just chatting away and I mentioned how I want sea monkeys. I really do...oh, hush! Sea monkeys and Magic Rocks were some of the coolest moments of my childhood...setting everything up with my dad and hearing him explain the science behind them. Besides, do you remember the comic book ads?

Photobucket



Ohhhhh, it took soooooooo long for them to get to me. My mom cleaned out a mason jar and in went the packet of sea monkey eggs. Day 1...nada. Day 2...hmmm is THAT a sea monkey? Day 3...Grrr! skunked again! My sea monkeys were a bust. But I long-nurtured in my heart that perhaps I did something wrong.


Fast forward to my mommy days. We shall revisit the sea monkeys! This time, the set came from a she-she la-la toy store and cost a purty penny. I got the kids all pumped up and...no sea monkeys.


But I'm asking myself, now that those daughters are 12 and 15...did I do something wrong? Soooo...I pull up YouTube and lo and behold! People DO have sea monkey successes




Anyway, I tell Beastt that I am going to check Amazon for a cheap sea monkey set and he asks me if I'm considered an executive at work. Well, my official title has executive in it, but... "Why?" I ask.


He pastes the Executive Sea Monkey Tank he has just purchased for me. I am momentarily pissed, but then...sea monkey bliss took over. You know how it is. And check this baby out...it's a far cry from a mason jar. I will finally get the respect I deserve!

Photobucket



I made him order himself a sea monkey kit, too. He said only if I call him now and then to talk sea monkeys. Poor guy. He has no idea what he's asking for!


But I WON'T be engaging in any of THIS:


COMMENTS

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Morrigon
Morrigon
00:33 Nov 15 2008

Executive Sea Monkey Tank - NICE



Pimp too. Everyone will know that you are an Executive now.








Beastt17
Beastt17
09:54 Nov 15 2008

Sea Monkey Fox Hunt? There is a phrase that comes to mind containing the words "sick" and "bastards". The whole phrase contains only one space and isn't necessarily in alphabetical order. I wonder if we could come up with a nice game for the marketers involving a water slide and a shark. ;-)





Beastt17
Beastt17
01:53 Nov 16 2008

I would have preferred that your order arrive first. I'm stunned at the speed with which mine was delivered. But I didn't have them shipped to me because I'm rarely home when deliveries arrive. So I'll likely not actually take delivery for a week or so.





 

06:05 Nov 10 2008
Times Read: 1,231


I can't help laughing every time he says, "hang on, I have to put my jumper on."


COMMENTS

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BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
09:19 Nov 10 2008

You've got to be having a pop at the Brits again :-p





StoneCrow
StoneCrow
10:50 Nov 10 2008

A jonnie jumper? Like one of those things you put infants in and let them jump and giggle and have fun? Hmmm, I want one!





Joli
Joli
15:02 Nov 10 2008

No, no, StoneCrow...a sweater. They call sweaters "jumpers!" It's the most adorable thing to hear a grown man say he's putting on his jumper because I do the same thing you do, thinking of baby jumpers, except that I think of those all-in-one outfits with the snaps down the inside of the legs. We call those jumpers.





STABB666
STABB666
21:25 Nov 10 2008

We call those baby things 'Romper-suits', which is infinitely better than 'jumper'.



But saying that, we do use 'sweater' too. It just depends on the type of garment. On occassion, we are known to describe them as 'pullovers' as well.






BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
10:14 Nov 15 2008

...you also missed out 'jersey'!!





 

Just ask Ockham :)

19:09 Nov 07 2008
Times Read: 1,293


Morrigon: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH QWYWEHROijalsdjkfa


Morrigon: WHY DO YOU SHOW ME THESE THINGS?!?!?


Morrigon: crap, now I have to go to a meeting with that burned into my mind


Joli: because I love you


Joli: My love burns


COMMENTS

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Ockham
Ockham
19:57 Nov 07 2008

I think she was abused as a child and doesn't know what love really is, that's the only explanation for how she treats us in love's name. :(





Joli
Joli
20:39 Nov 07 2008

From a VR poetry section. I quote and repost here for Ockham's delight:



She drinks and smokes just to get high

She never knew she was going to die

Hes always there,but he never knows

The way she lives,the way she goes

Shes marked for death,pills in her hand

She tries to cry but for once she cant...





birra
birra
20:14 Nov 08 2008

Somehow that poem reminds me of "Private Eyes"





Nicnivian
Nicnivian
06:14 Nov 10 2008

evvvil woman ... you SHOWED her what I sent you didn't you?? DIDNT YOU lmao





Joli
Joli
06:30 Nov 10 2008

Oh yes, Nicnivian...I DID! Look what your careless hands have wrought!





 

Noshairatu

21:34 Nov 06 2008
Times Read: 1,339


Morri's hair was struck by lightning. It is re-animated undead zombie hair. You have seen photographic evidence. I beg you, do NOT trust the hair for it has its own agenda!


COMMENTS

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Morrigon
Morrigon
21:50 Nov 06 2008

It was NOT!





ThothLestat
ThothLestat
22:17 Nov 06 2008

it can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever...





Joli
Joli
23:35 Nov 06 2008

Be afraid!





StoneCrow
StoneCrow
18:48 Nov 07 2008

ptooo...sheesh I just spit out a Morri-hair 0.o how the hell did that happen????? I wanna know...lol





Joli
Joli
19:00 Nov 07 2008

Yesterday, one of Morri's hairs crawled into a piece of birra's sushi and greeted him. He was only able to fend it off with a wasabi bomb while he made good his getaway!





 

Aunty Jo Explains it All

21:06 Nov 06 2008
Times Read: 1,350


ThothLestat + leaf blower = ?




AVATAR!


COMMENTS

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ThothLestat
ThothLestat
21:24 Nov 06 2008

my face is just like this naturally.

don't make me bite your face off.



thanks, thoth.





StoneCrow
StoneCrow
23:26 Nov 07 2008

holy hell, what was that coming out of the last guy? 0.0





Silverbow
Silverbow
00:47 Nov 09 2008

I am glad I was not the first that asked that question, and now that I have seen it in print.. I actualy no longer wish to know.. MENTAL FLOSS WHERE ARE YOU!!!





 

Moocher the Admin

20:42 Nov 06 2008
Times Read: 1,363


After eating my lunch, he grabbed the mouse, started doing my work, pulled up VR, moderated the forum, and opened a chat window with Morri! I'm going home early!

Photobucket

COMMENTS

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Morrigon
Morrigon
20:46 Nov 06 2008

ohhh and here I thought it was YOU who was excited to see me and liked to eat things off the floor...





Joli
Joli
20:49 Nov 06 2008

I was going to call you a pupophile, but didn't want to suspend my own journal :P





BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
21:48 Nov 06 2008

Have a look at this ..... you've been warned!!



Photobucket






Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
00:01 Nov 14 2008

Love to have a update on this little guy. :)





Joli
Joli
04:37 Nov 14 2008

His mommy called us while my daughter and I were en route to taking him to spend the night at our house. We thought Meatball would have had a great time with him, but alas...his mommy wanted him. We turned around and dropped him with her. She's about 4 feet tall and 3 years pregnant! She's forgiven for being a little preoccupied and now I know where he lives. His name is Scrappy...she should be toe-stomped. He'll always be the Artful Moocher to me.





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
01:16 Nov 18 2008

Thank you. Good that his mommy was looking for him. :) Poor Meatball will have to find another playmate.



Now you know why mom would never let us watch animal shows. I always cried when they was in trouble or hurt.



*such a wimp*





 

Lost again

20:31 Nov 06 2008
Times Read: 1,368


I expect the panicky lady to rap on the door again any minute. This is the second time this week that her baby has wandered into my office. Today, a client nearly ran over him. I reproached her day before yesterday about no tags and she said she knew and would get them right away. Still none.


I'm hanging onto him in my office so he doesn't get hurt. We shared my sandwich and he's a complete sweetie. I'm worried about this little guy. This is downtown and very traffic-busy.


Check out this face. I call him the Artful Moocher :)

Photobucket

COMMENTS

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Morrigon
Morrigon
20:35 Nov 06 2008

awwwwww





Sinora
Sinora
20:42 Nov 06 2008

Ahhh how could anyone refuse such a look ? lol





 

CGH Avatar

19:57 Nov 04 2008
Times Read: 1,403


See, STABB? More photographic evidence of the aquatic tortoise in its natural habitat!

Vampire Rave - The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory - http://www/VampireRave.com


COMMENTS

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STABB666
STABB666
20:45 Nov 07 2008

Sunbathing on the beach doesn't count...





 

Which ingredient is it?

15:18 Nov 01 2008
Times Read: 1,467


First off, this is a simple request...NOT racism! Every time someone broaches this subject, "racism" gets thrown around. India has one of the richest and oldest cultures in existence. I know this. I have read and appreciate the Bhagavad Gita. So, get off me in advance. Thank you. (This disclaimer brought to you by the letters D and A.)


So, onto my subject of interest. To the average American nose, there is a scent in some curries from India which is unpleasant and repellent. It gets into the fabrics of their homes, restaurants, and clothing. It can even come out of pores and has the misfortune for the unaccustomed nose to associate the curry smell further with body odor.


When I was younger, my parents rented a house when theirs sold earlier than the new one was ready. It smelled of curry throughout. Even after steam cleaning the carpets and scrubbing the kitchen and walls, the odor remained. It's probably why I avoided curries my whole life. I've come to understand that there are lots of different curries. The Thai coconutty ones are not bad and certainly don't have that scent. Just, the word, "curry" makes me instantly suspicious of a dish.


So, onto my long overdue question... What is the exact ingredient in the curry dishes that gives it that odor that is so offensive to the American nose? I have looked into curry ingredients...I can identify many: ginger, cinnamon, garlic, cumin


I know these scents, and even with other ingredients, they are not the culprits. If you are very familiar or maybe make curries, can you tell me what specific ingredient may be responsible?


COMMENTS

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Morrigon
Morrigon
15:23 Nov 01 2008

Huh huh... you said cumin





Joli
Joli
15:38 Nov 01 2008

You make-a me laff, Morri.





Cheetahcry
Cheetahcry
15:45 Nov 01 2008

My husband is italian cajun. He has always said that the smell came from the mixture of the ginger and peppers. Here is a list of some of the other scents that you are smelling. A mixture of turmeric with several spices including cardamom, cinnamon, cloves, coriander, cumin, and fenugreek, made pungent with ginger, chilli, and pepper.





Joli
Joli
15:50 Nov 01 2008

OK...these I don't know: turmeric, coriander, and fenugreek.





sahahria
sahahria
15:53 Nov 01 2008

Turmeric is often the culprit. But it honestly depends, as different blends with it won't smell the same.





StoneCrow
StoneCrow
15:57 Nov 01 2008

It is a secret ingredient that they do not advertise Jo. Monkey dung left in a sack over a steaming pile of goop from freshly scrapped arm pits...o.0 It is dried and added at the point of service.





Joli
Joli
15:59 Nov 01 2008

I read about this guy, but I have never smelled it: asafoetida.



Anyone know this ingredient?





artemka
artemka
20:24 Nov 01 2008

hmmm if it was skunk stew, it was probably the skunk



Did you know that an ioniser will remove all smells ... not covering it, simply no more smells





Joli
Joli
22:25 Nov 01 2008

Art, that was a great comment! You made me laugh. I bet you're right...it was the skunk in the skunk stew!





Silverbow
Silverbow
01:07 Nov 02 2008

Asafoetida is a hard resinous gum, grayish-white when fresh, darkening with age to yellow, red and eventually brown. It is sold in blocks or pieces as a gum and more frequently as a fine yellow powder, sometimes crystalline or granulated.

Bouquet: a pungent smell of rotting onions or sulfur. The smell dissipates with cooking.

Flavour: on it’s own, extremely unpleasant, like concentrated rotten garlic. When cooked, it adds an onion-like flavour.



SPICE DISCRIPTION:

Asafoetida gets its name from the Persian aza, for mastic or resin, and the Latin foetidus, for stinking. It is a gum that is from the sap of the roots and stem of the ferula species, a giant fennel that exudes a vile odour. Early records mention that Alexander the Great carried this “stink finger” west in 4 BC. It was used as a spice in ancient Rome, and although not native to India, it has been used in Indian medicine and cookery for ages. It was believed that asafoetida enhanced singers voices. In the days of the Mughal aristocracy, the court singers if Agra and Delhi would eat a spoonful of asafoetida with butter and practice on the banks of the river Yamuna.

CULINARY USE:

Use in minute quantities, adding directly to cooking liquid, frying in oil, or steeping in water. Asafoetida is used mostly in Indian vegetarian cooking, in which the strong onion-garlic flavour enhances many dishesPREPARATION & STORAGE:It is vital to keep asafoetida in airtight containers as its sulfurous odour will effect other foods and spices. It is most commonly available as a powder or granules that can be added directly to the cooking pot. It is also sold in lumps that need to be crushed before using. This is a very powerful spice and even in its ground state lasts well over a year if stored properly, away from light and air.



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dabbler
dabbler
20:27 Nov 04 2008

I looked into the fine particles of ground currie, perhaps it is not so much the ingrident but the way it absorbs into porous surfaces, I know mustard has stay in power as well. A saturation of curry, is indeed noticable, I woould look to cooking sites to find a counter measure for toning down the curry in a dish. Perhaps lemon?








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