OK just another rant.
I have just about had it with people and the ridiculous assumption that, if you are not living your life by the Martha Stewart norm, you are incapable of raising beautiful, complete, well adjusted children. As if somehow not shopping for our clothes at Sears or The Gap, is in the long run going to create "bad" kids.
Well "Average Middle Non Gender Specific North American", Wake Up!
The kids that are freaking out and gunning down their school yards aren't just children from goth/gay/wiccan/hippie families. Individualism is not the mark of the frigging beast.
I am writing this because of an unbelieveable situation I found myself in last year. I have a celtic cross tattoo on my back, and while I was walking with my son in our largest city park last summer, a man in his mid 50's flipped out at me. I was wearing low jeans and a high cut shirt, and you could see my tattoo. He claimed that a celtic cross is a "devil sign" and that my poor son was doomed to be trash as I clearly was. Uneducated, backwoods freak. The only way that my son is going to be doomed is by having people like you on the same planet.
You out of the gene-pool!!
wow, im sorry you had to experience such a distasteful encounter...people like that you shouldn't even bother with....ignorants in need of cultural awakening and MANNERS!
THINGS LIKE THIS MAKE ME REALLLYYYY MAD.
Hard situations happen to make us stronger and to help strengthen our beliefs. It is as I raise my son that I feel better. He is my assurance that there will be one less stupid person on earth. Well, I have Scars children too!!
to which i would of retorted.. 'yes, i am the Devil and you can GO TO HELL... (maybe he only had a few days to live and was getting stuff of his chest).... It's the life long curse of people judging books by their 'covers' .. At the end of the day you know different, and thats what counts,,,,..... but, yes, that does'nt stop it from making your blood boil....
self righteous individuals are too blinded by their own ethnocentric beliefs that they cast out any possibilities of alternative methods of parenting. After all, variety is the spice of life.
Being a parent does not hinder you from being an individual. Because you choose to not blockade yourself in conventional thinking, your son will be exposed to all walks of life. Props to you for standing your gound.
♥
i agree
teaching your son to be openminded is what will make him a better person than most people in the end. youre doing a good job no matter what anyone else says.
*hugs*
Hehehehe...
You are a better woman than I, mamma.
I tend to want to react violently to people like that.
Key word is WANT.
I don't actually hit them or anything.
Though the thought tends to cross my mind for the rest of the afternoon...
:: wonders off twitching ::
Sounds formiliar.. My mom is a goth :) And it's just big fun walking trough town with her.. Everybody watching at us..
And about being a bad parent.. Nah.. My mom ain't a bad parent.. I'm not gonna shout down ppl at schools or something.. I might as well been a "regular" kid.. That I am what I am is MY choice.. Not my mothers :)
That man was most likely a born again Christian. Many of them are programmed to accept only certain crosses and ways of life and they are being taught the wrong message. Don’t get mad at him--Feel sorry for him for he has been manipulated into following extreme forms of a religion and they lose the message of there convictions, they become weak minded and they actually believe they are trying to save your soul. MY advice if you want it be who you are, but with in the limits that your child does not become labeled by others. In other words Parent teacher conferences for example don’t where a half shirt exposing your tattoos. The teachers may judge your child for it and not give him the education or attention that your child deserves. Thus causing the child his rights. Look I know its wrong that many of us have to play a role but for my child I would do it, so he does not get cheated. Just so you don’t misunderstand me I’m not saying you are in the wrong. I’m saying that you may have to still for the time being compensate for others lack of acceptance at least where your child is concerned.
I'm sorry to hear of your encounter, but I'm glad you didn't lower yourself to his level. Be who you are with pride, and raise your children to be open-minded. In my eyes, the only way to raise a "bad" child is to try and tell them who to be.
Talk about experiances ... anyone who's looked at my portfolio can see pictures of my daughter and I and what we look like on and everyday basis ... now imagine what it's like when we walk into a store together .. or a restaurant. We're stared at constanly, given the "y'r not gonna start anything look" we've even been ushered to the back of restaurant's because of it. Personally I get a huge laugh out of it, and 99.9% of the time, by the end of the meal our waitress is asking me or us how it is my hair stays up, or where we buy our clothes at ... when we leave we're laughing through the parking lot ...
Well everyone, Alilyanna left out one very important fact to the story....
The man who accosted her was Canadian. And we all know how those Canadians are...
Ignorant ppl will always make assumptions about you if you dress differently or do things they don't know about mainly because of the way the media portrays ppl who lead alternative lifestyles remember 99% of ppl form their entire world view from the press and tv sad really!
Why did you just punch that son of a dog right in the middle of his nose and kept walking... it could have been anyone, religious freaks, political fanatics etc.. noone has the right to try imponing something like that with his/her statements...Just pity the bastard & don't mind him..
hey no disin the canadians.. my fiance is canadian.. and is gothic.. anyway.. it's sad that our socity judges people like that without knowing the person.. I was raised without religion. I was not forced to go to church.. for that I'm lucky and glad.
I feel sorry for the dumb sap that decides to try and break me down becuz of how I look and try to tell me my parenting skills are under par!!! I do belive people should learn to keep there mouth shut and there opinions to themselves ... its bad enough I got tisked becuz I'm an UN-WED mother to be .. and I just pointedly added is it my fault the male that help concieve this decided he was to good for the relationship? *shrugs* ..... *pokes at cancer* I've had more problems with americans so far about this pregnancy then I have canadians lol but either way everyone is only human and everyone has there ideal belifes!
I guess one good thing that has changed over the years ... used to be that unwed young mothers were whisked away to far off places to have their babies to avoid the embarrassment their family would feel having the public see their young daughter having a child ... now they just shun you too y'r face ... much rather have it that way ... at least they are talking or looking at you and you can tell them how you really feel, then to have them say behind y'r back ... not that society doesn't do that anyway ... It's amazing though how many men (and no I'm not bashing men at all, I know many who actually stand up to the plate when it's time to bat) ... but how many men still shirk their responsibilities ....
I know that feeling. My daughters father left me as soon as he found out I was pregnant. My sons dad, though we are not together anymore, is very good to our son. I have been very lucky. No one has ever said anything bad about be for being a never-married single parent. (at least not to my face) God help them if they said it to my face and my kids weren't around. I have 2 beautiful, smart, well behaved children and they didnt get that way by themselves. I thank God for them every day, no matter what the circumstances of their conception.
LOL sorry sorry I laugh only at their ignorance lol well heres a true life story once while out I had a family behind me and well the usual snorts and giggles of "goth" and e.t.c and amazingly I swear to god their was a WHOLE family (mum dad and the baby 9yrs old) laughin at me the shock was the lil kid really and couple dayz later I met an "alternative" kid (Punk parents who like metal as well :-) and same age he was the politest lil kid I've EVER met now that neither proves or disproves but well goes to sho
I agree, but a child that is brought up in a particular environment is likely to grow and learn from that. but that doesnt always mean that that environment is at home. It includes schools and friends, or even at a mall.
My son is wavering on the goth/geek fence. I have told him I will never pick a "lifestyle" for him, and I will be prould of whatever decision he ultimately makes. He has hair down to his shoulders now, perfectly straight. I have heard him called a girl, and he just acts like it doesnt bother him. At school the kids all call him psycho and scary for wearing all black to school once in a while. I tell him to ignore it, cause it just goes to show how ignorant they are. I have met more 'alternative" people that are nicer and more decent than some "normal" people. Normal people be damned! Bring on the " oddities" any day!!
I am a parent with many visible tattoos and also I like to wear clothes that are somewhat different from the norm, and I am always having to deal with snide people who just don't understand that I am a person who stays at home with my kids and help them with home work, and do all those things , that so many of those people who look down their nose at me don't do....I believe that everyone should have their own personality and not the personality that society deems they should have..i have a 13 year old daughter who is deep into the goth scene, and i have an 11 year old son who reads and does science projects for fun...I never impose my ideals on my kids..they are each separate people and as such must find themselves...and i hope they never let society mold them because they are perfect the way that they are....Love comes from the heart and it shows when you love your kids no matter what label you are.^^v^^
In my opinion, your son is lucky to have you as a mother. He'll undoubtedly grow up to be more openminded, more accepting, and more knowledgable than his peers.
People like that annoy me too, but I've learned to take what they say with a grain of salt.
Some people never think outside of that little box they were brought up in. Thats very sad. They miss a whole world of knowledge. To bad you cant shove people out of thier little box to explore and maybe see that slight difference dosent make people bad or not good parents. But I guess that would only happen in a perfect world.
Wow so many people with an amazing way of putting "just becuz I'm different looking on the outside doesnt mean I'm a bad parent!" .... I love it lol
I've been working with children for 8 years (councellor) every damn day and I have a lot of knowledge of parenting skills wether they be right or wrong is my own descion ... and I'm sure I'll make the right ones when the tyme comes!
I just cant wait for comments to start flying when my child is actually born lol
I've got some good come back lines too
and if anyone wants to share some good come back lines I'd really like to hear those lol
Your mouth is not the only orifice I am going to stick my boot in if you continue to speak to me!
Go have sex with your neighborhood priest and leave me out of it!
And My Person Favorite:
For your information, the celtic cross has nothing to do with devil worship. They like to hide information like that in books though. (I Love Lake Placid)
Its really awfult hat you had to experience something like that. I is silly that people make assumptions about others that are usually negative stereotypes, but sadly its the way the world works sometimes.
You knwo you are a good mother and care about bringing your chils up right, and dont let anyone ever tell you otherwise... people like that really have nothing better to do than to have a go at others to boost their own low self-esteem and fuel their hate of the world.
Chin up kitten x
children live what they learn,to be so open with ones child is wonderful, don't let closed minded people bring you down,i get strange looks about my tats as well, it amazes me how many people, don't know what they really stand for..its so sad
Well sorry you had to deal with that. Maybe the man was mad cuz he wanted one in the past and his wife would not let him. I have found alot of older people that live near me that think almost everything I do will send me to hell so I guess I will have to make room for you......lol jk. I am sure it was very hard for you to not to say anything back to this person but I am sure that was the best thing to do with your child with you. Maybe the old man should get a computer and do some reading at celtarts.com/celtic.htm
I can relate to this topic quite well. I am a multi-tattooed & pierced single parent with three teenaged kids. I am often the focal point of discussion amoung other parents because of my lifestyle & age. (ahhh, yes, I do tend to stand out among the PTA crowd). Narrow minds cannot accept anything outside of what they consider to be "the norm". More's the pity for them. Oh, did I mention that my kids are honor students? I must be doing something right ;)
Any one who has read my profile knows I am transforming into a White Tiger. As of now, I have whiskers and stripes on my back and I am starting on my arms and face. My parents' friends, for a while, were trying to get the state to take away my twin girls, all cause of how I look. That pissed me off beyond belief. we are still going through court to keep our girls and they are 9 months old and this has been going on since i was 4 months preggy. My girls were friggin 4 months premature and lived. They were 1lb 15oz when they were born and they are now a whopping 13lbs.... huge to me. Queiviera and Eve are communicating in Sign Language.... better than most adults know how to speak. But, I must know what I am doing despite my appearance cause my girls are doing great. I hate close minded people. I hate stupid people too. I better shut up before I go on a rampage... lol.
Did she not go to prison? Look you raise your kids how you want! Its up to you. Dont let anyone tell you anything else. They'll just steer it wrong.
Well, I don't know how any one else on here was (or is being) raised but I know for me it was my whole family. The first eight houses on my street all belong to my family and sometimes child trading happens often. My parents are your suites and tie type of people and my aunt is more ummm... go around naked type of gal. Because my aunt doesn't work she used to take me to school meetings and stuff and I remember what the others mother would say to her... I don't think its fair how people judge others on the outside but we all do it here and there. My aunt might be a little more down to earth then my mom but both of them are the best! (even though I say I hate my mother!) *shrugs* If it works then keep doing what your doing... $10 bucks says the other people are envious! :P
wow, once again I have nothing to say since everyone has already said it. Just wanted to compliment people for their good thoughts and thank them for letting me continue to be lazy.
Darling, didn't you tell him one sight of the Celtic cross on your back, and he was doomed and cursed by the Ancestors forever and when he would die in a very short time he would reascended into the world as a french snail that Canadians chew up and spit out for breakfast.
Excuse me i'm a half Canadian. We aint nothing like you say. Just the majority.
lol not all canadians are aweful ... I think everyone relizes that ... but were easy to take crack shots at is all!
and I DONT eat snails they're icky when they're cooked ... more amusing when alive tho hehe
Alilyanna you keep on with your current path you're doing just fine.
Nic and i'm sure you know this already... don't pay attention to what some stupid saps have to say about you being an UNWED mother... shit happens...and you deal with it and move on...as far as the sperm donor's actions...screw that pile of dung...any male can have sex and get a girl pregnant...it takes a MAN to stand up and do what's right when that does happen though.. it takes a MAN to be a Daddy...
Anyways keep ya chin up and keep on fighting the good fight which is life :P
I can only hope that he'll become a man one day lol
I've been told by many people .. dont need to be married to have a baby And that it's alright to be single ... which is a good thing .. cuz its not like people are lining up lol
I've got 7 days left ... I wonder how many more coments I can hear as I'm trying to help this trophy out taking walks through crowded malls! hehe
i am glad that there are finaly people who will stand up for alternstive lifestyles for there are hardly anyone on my island where there are no gothic/freaks besides me everyone is either skater or prep... so yeah go all you alternitive parrents
people just see goths,gays, and more as escapes roots and they need to stop we judt dont cause everything others cause it too. oh crap i just forgot what i was gonna say i'll get back to you on this...
Something I would like to point out to the world is that the original celtic artwork was created as a heritage mark for irish, scottish, and other ancestors as a way to celebrate our history and people. If any of the elder generations had a clue about history's facts and not trying to become part of it then they would have a bit more open-eyed views on our society today. Many people that age still feel that the days of persecution should not have died and keep trying to bring them back which is completely unfair to many americans who have gone through hell to get where they are today. Raising a healthy minded child has nothing to do with what tattoos or piercings we have but how we teach them and our examples that they live around everyday. At most all your guilty of is giving your child the freedom to enjoy art and pictures in his own way without being judged for what they express. I am glad that your rage on this issue can give you some release and say that if your teach your child the values that I have read in this forum then you have done a wonderful job as a mother and dont stop now. Many years ahead to battle and many other annoying issues to tackle so be strong.
I know this is a pretty pathetic example because its fictional but just because its fictional doesnt mean its not true.
In that new american show Desperate Wives or Housewives a woman who spends all day cleaning, cooking for her family and being happy happy normal, has a twisted son. Now if she is the perfect Martha Stewart why is her son so evil? Kids grow up determined on how their parents act. A tatoo is not a sign of evil. My mother has a tatoo and she is one of the most moralistic, nicest people there is. It is parental attitude not dress sense or identity that shapes our kids.
hey nic heres one for you....if people give you flak...let the eyes tear up a bit and say he died saving some kittens from a burning building...how could you be so insensitive you bastards......then break down in maniacal laughter while chewing on your arm...
I'm getting ready to be a single parent for the first time and this forum has a lot to do with the fears I have in raising this child. My parents already make enough comments as well as anyone I run into on the street. (I've changed a lot in the 2 years I've taken this pic). I just wanted to say that I appreciated reading this forum and everyone's responses, because it really helped to put more confidence in my future as a mother despite most others opinions.
LMFAO thats great Daermon .. but I don't think I'll chew on my arm lol .. and seeing as todays goodfriday and everything's closed :/ I wont be able to try it out! (and I'm due on monday so I'll try it on saturday when things are open again hehe...... knowing my luck I'll go way over due damnit .. *whines* I just want it ouuuut!!!!!!!)
My brother made a pretty gross relization for me the other day while we were picking up some maple at a home depo ... the cashier looked at me then my brother and smiled ... when we left my brother asked me " So over the past few weeks how many people do you think, think that thats My Child?" I grossed out at the thought .. only thing I don't understand is HOW can they NOT see the family resembalence!!!
Mind ya he dyes his hair blonde/white (not as white as mine was) and mine is all black .. we have the same eyes and facial structure *shrugs* gross thought for the day sorry lol
Rianna one thing I've learned .. just cuz your starting out as a single parent doesnt mean you should have less confidance in yourself! ... I fortunatly have my parents support (as this is there first and only grandchild and theyre extatic over it) But if you can make sure you surround yourself with friends OR Family that will support you on this .. it litterally does make you feel much better and more confidant with the decsions you've made!! Good luck!!
Well i am gonna just LOVE it when someone decides to try to snap on me.If you've seen my profile you'll understand....
I am NOT the one to be told what to do!!!!!
Dear my alternative lifestyle cause me the loss of my parental rights. The states has become spain of the dark ages and is only getting more so i fear.
Doesnt matter that the children are going insane from the NORM homes. If you are not straight laced and buttoned up you are the enemy in the states and many other places now.
Alternative lifestyles and single parenting is admirable and bravado to the guys and girls who live it. However, there are laws to be abided by which are agreed by normal society. If you break this code then you have to pay for it.
lol well this is something i can understand. there was a time i had my hair dyed black, and im pretty white anyway, and i was walking through the mall and some jerk got in my face and called me a freak right in front of my hubby and his bro-in-law. My hubby turned around and had a few words with him and i just knew some fight would break out...so i yelled out loud for a cop, then the dude took off. LOL
Well sorry about your incident alilyanna... I hate the way people treat me at school... just because I am 1 of 3 demonic / satanistic or vampiric people at school I have been deemed a "hero" by those that think I am strange... that is why I helped my best friend rip up the "Bible" during lunch... it pissed so many people off... especially the ones who used to talk to me everyday... those would be the die hard christians... they never knew how far I would go to get my point across that I just wanted to be left alone and that I truely hated the christian and catholic religions...
Now adays I am just happilly playing Magic The Gathering with others while everyone else minds their own business.....
I guess my point is that you have to make them understand what you are capable of doing for your childs benefit, and that you will never let them become something they were not ment to be
some people are so close minded and cannot see past their own beliefs or stupidity for that matter. everybody lives their own way and unless you beat it into your children, they are not necessarily going to pick up your beliefs and make them their own. actually once they get to the rebellious stage, they usually go the opposite way.
since when is a celtic cross a 'devil sign'?
sounds like dude should mind his own business and educate himself a bit before he goes around putting people down
Oh believe me i know,that's why there will always be two faces.The public one that these damn feaks of the supposedly normal world want to see,and then what i truley am....no worries i have played nice for this long and my son is still with me.
Martha Stuwart is pure Evil shes a witch as for parenting spank the brats if there bad
be true to yourself and your son you know who you want to be and that is who you are just be that person and if some one doesnt like it that is their fault and they need to keep their mouth shut.....
I remember when i was pregnant, i was out at the store and some woman walked past me, looked at me, looked at my stomach and said 'for the sake of the baby i hope your putting it up for adoption' I couldn't believe anyone would even think that, let alone have the audacity to say. my daughter was still born, and it still hurts, but damn to that woman. it's rediculous how people are so quick to judge. Hooray to everyone of you on here that is a parent, i hope the next generation will be more open and understanding then those previous.
Moral codes are also used in place of laws in the usa
Careful on this part
Child Protective Services gets to judge what is in best interest of the children
Judges base their decisions off of Child Proctective Services opinions
There for a child can be taken because a bigoted christain decided she doesnt like that mommy sleeps with my other mommy or mommy is a witch or what not.
sounds to me like potential for a religios discrimination case against social services...or whatever the fuck they call themselves these days to be PC...
i'd be talking to a lawyer.....your child should be asked their opinion.....in many cases court rulings would turn over if the childs opinion mattered...
"religios discrimination" in the state of alabama?
Nooooo
really?
You mean the hometown of Former Judge Roy Moore is not completely impartial?
wait the whole state is like this just check the last election results and all the people that ran off of Moore's coat tails....
Making a federal case looking at 5 to 10 years
by which time children arent anymore aye
people need to start to realize that parenting is not a course that you are being graded on. my mom raised me different then my sister is raising my neice. the times is also a factor of raising kids. My mom did a great job raising me and my siters but times has changed and so has the methonds but i do still believe that child desipline should still be around. yelling at a kid for something won't do nothing cause in one ear and out the other ear. I know i was rarely hit as a kid but when it was needed my parents had to but if you look at me and my surroundings and you can see that i am still the best person in my surroundings. I am very different from kids my age. i am not concerned stupid parties but i do believe that some of the raising styles should stick around cause these kids these days got it so easy. I have never cursed at my mother and if i ever did i got laid out on my butt and hard.
hey now i have been through parenting coarses and behavioral foster care training and was graded...
:laughing:
Well so far so good on the parental front ... noone has given me bad looks or anything if they have I have not noticed .... then again I tend to just glare around while shopping I don't generally look at people .... so 2 weeks gone un-noticed by the public is fine by me!
stereotypes weaken the mind.
people can censor things. but people can't censor you.
you are you. and whatever that symbol means to you, is yours to keep.