The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Do you find yourself looking more for the real you then the one you should? Or is it just me? I feel as tho I should find what Im worth and made of before I look for someone to love and care for.. but for somereason.. its getting totaly fucked up.. pardon my language for the children.
-le sigh-

Heh.. Arent all love storys like that? Or how about this?
One day a man was talking to his best friend whom happened to be a girl. He was telling her about this women he had "fallen" for they were to be engadaged. Secretly his best friend was heartbroken and deeply in love with him. She did as any good friend would gave her congrates even tho it killed her to see this happening.
All and all the mans marriage failed because he figured out a year or so to soon just how much he truely loved his friend.
After being singel for year, and not speaking to his friend for more there came and invitation to his friends wedding heartbroken he went to support her. They lived the life in pain and heartache cause neither could express ones feelings.

*reaches for the kleenex* very touching. Ain't life just like that.. But, i'd agree with the point of trying to be cintent with your own life before joining it with another. It's strange, some people can life their life without truly knowing themselves and most likely never marry. Nothing can cause you more pain and hurt than Love. Hence why you have to be sure of yourself and be very strong before going into a relationship....

No matter how much you hoep and prat. youll really never truely find yourself.. The only one who will know the true you is your true love... Curiously.. what if that person dies.. is there another out there? or was that person never suppose to live and love you?

I strongly believe that you find 'true' love (soulmate) only once in life. I believe that i had found this person and it did not work out. The love we felt for each other and the feeling that we had when we where together i have never ever felt since and i know i won't.. If it has ever happened to anyone then you will know what i mean. It can not be explained only felt. You may be wondering if this was your true love, then why are'nt you together... life has a way a tearing you to pieces.. i consider it just to be plain bad luck.... simple as...

"No matter how much you hoep and prat. youll really never truely find yourself.. The only one who will know the true you is your true love... "

i have to disagree with this comment. I don't think anyone else ever gets a chance to know you entirely other than yourself. Your inner thoughts are yours . No one else can hear you think or know your true intentions. The person who knows you the most is yourself.

People only know about you what you let them know

It took me years to learn to live with myself but now I know me pretty well and I cope well with who I am. I agree you have to be happy in yourself before you can be happy with someone else I spent years in dependant relationships and found I needed to concentrate on myself to be happy enough to make a real meaningful commitment last I still don't feel ready for it yet but know I'm making progress hang in there babe it's a long road but it's possible!

I'm already confident in who I am, and have already found a true love at my young age. So in essence, I already have found everything I am looking for.

I never really looked for anyone else in the first place. I looked to find out who I truly was...and then, wouldn't you figure it, as soon as I did that, I bumped into someone I ended up marrying.

How's that for destiny...

it's true what they say , sometimes when you stop looking you find what you've been searching for...it's weird but it dose happen quite often

sorry deity, but i gotta disagree with ya.
sometimes if someone doesn't know themself, then someone else can see more than what they see about themself, (hope that wasn't confusing).
i know that i knew somethings about one of my friends before she knew.

anywho, i am continuously trying to find the real me, who i really am. it just happens though that i keep an eye open for any other asexual that may stumble on my path, but i don't actively seek them.
and that's me ideas on it.

I find myself not looking for anything, i'm just waiting for something or someone to change my life forever or just for a few minutes

A part of me is buried inside...a part of the innocent angel i used to be. lol...i'm far from being that way anymore. some of my actions damn sure aren't the actions of an angel... i guess what i am trying to say is that i want to find a place where i can be accepted for who i am, inside and out...freedom to be both the innocent angel i once was and the dark guardian that i am now...

I believe that you should not allow yourself to look for love just because you don't feel like you know yourself! I think, and of course this is just my humble opinion, that when you do find love that you will grow in who you are anyways! Sometimes, you never really can see yourself without the help of someone who loves and supports you for who you are no matter what. To anyone who has not found that person...as long as you belive in true love and give the idea a chance, i belive that everyone will experince that! I feel that i am a little biasis in that i am very happily married, but i had only known my husband for 3 mo. before we got married, and i couldn't be happier!

I look for attractive males :p the end. Neh, I look to find the good in people, I look to find more in myself, I look into things that I can't fathom, but I didn't look at the other posts in this thread because I'm lazy and have no idea what it's actually about.

newblood:
that's cool, the reason i think people want to find themselves before they find who they are looking for is because you grow differently with a love than when you are by yourself. think of personal growth by oneself as a base of sorts.

but of course everyone is different, so i say if it works, do it. :)

i hate pathetic love stories, how can you want to be with another when some people can barely stand being with themselves tis wiser to find yourself first that way if you are left alone you konw who you are and that you dont need someone with you to define that.

It's never good to wait around for someone to complete you. I believe people are whole, body mind and soul. complete yourself and if you find no one it won't matter, and if you do, you will be more than complete. It will feel far better.

Love sux!!!!!!....Grrrr

Trying to find who you are is a waste of time ....who you are changes with every event in your life....it would be like chasing your own tail ..if you had one.......pointless!!!!!

Do i sound cynical???? ::giggles::

As I already pretty much have a decent idea as to who I am and a pretty good idea as to what at least part of the reason I am on this earth is for. I guess I would have to say that I would be looking for the right man in my life to love me for me and that I can love the same. But on the same token, I figured that I would stop actually looking myself and let him find me, I'm so damn tired of looking and ending up with total ... err uh .. well no better word the looser who try to change me into whatever it is that they think I should be, AFTER saying "I love you just the way you are, I don't want you to change a thing about yourself." and "If you change then you would be less then what I had in the beginning." WTF??? Ok so uhm well here's a tip ..... STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME INTO SOMETHING I CAN NOT NOR DO I WANT TO BE!!!!

yes i believe everyone does to an extent

Dhampir... I definatley know how you feel about losing someone you thought you were supposed to spend the rest of your life with. And the resulting questions of whether or not you were ever really meant to be together, and if you were, why you aren't still together.
It still torments me to some degree over 2 years later.

you first half to know your self before asking someone to know you. be true to yourself the rest will come when its meant to be

to a degree u have to know urself and what u are looking for before u can even think of looking for someone who u can love or care for, thats what i think anyway.

Ahh, but maybe you need that other person to help you find yourself and discover who you really are.

I agree with Obelisk - you can know yourself to a certain point, but your partner/spouse/helpmeet helps you bring out things that you never knew existed, and you then really get to know yourself.

YEah, you know yourself to a point, and I throughly enjoy testing myself to see how far I will go and how I will react.

Thats a wonderful story, as its concrete proof of how we should live for today and not spend our lives consumed with the future.

I think whatever makes people happy themselves is the right thing. Many people need someone to share their lives with, and others perfer to be alone. but it's all right.

wow that story sounds like me and my friend i was so in love with him and still am but i am to scared to tell him so when he went out with when of my friends and they broke up my friend dared me to tell him so i did and know we spend more time togreather to get to know one an other better. and i am still looking for more about my self beofre me and my friend date.

cheers to ellie! i thought it's only in the books and movies. ^-^

first of all i havent read the whole thread but hey that dont matter much do it least i have followed is some what.

first of all i belive that one never really finds them selves because you are always changeing. emotionally one eitehr closese them selves off or opens them selves up to some one. that is from what a person has gone through. also every ones intrest are changeing we lose old ones and then find new ones. who we are is buried with in our selves and to define that is like defineing eternity. but to discover who we are takes a life time.

and as far finding who we want to be with well i think that that boils down to the same with every one some one that we can share life and grow in life with together no matter what. not some one that is willing to change who we are but to help us be who me are and is willing to share life with each other. so to say carry part of the burden.

the truth to what i belive people are looking for in life is what they see them selves in antoher person and how that other person sees them. honestly just respect is all that is searched for which is true love.

I believe I will have to agree with Morrigon. She has said a mouth full there. You don't need someone to complete you, but it is nice to have someone around to share things with.

If you are kind to others, you will find good karma ilovetohate.

oops tasteofhate I mean. People sometimes to find themselves, but in being kind it can help bring the true you to the surface :) Old Buddha teaching..

To find what I want, I look within. When I look within, I see the worlds reflection. At least MY interpretation of the world... which may or may not be delusional; but at least its not terminal! ~grins~

if someone would knew all about himself he would be a God! I didn't heard about anyone who is even close to godlike! :)
Man who says that he knows himself completly is only so stupid that cannot see what he doesen't know about himself! So if someone would wait to find everything about himself and then to find his true love, he would never find that true love! It occured to me while I was writting this, that when, or better to say IF, a man finds his true love it only means that he found a little bit more about himself. Big thing I hate about people is that they cannot face loss, people come and go, some stay in your life, some don't, you'll always find another one...
Life is only a process of exploration of ourselves, and death is a sign that this exploration went wrong at some point.

Hmmm, I never truely started looking for myself. Maybe did a little soul searching to figure out what I wanted out of life, and how I want to present myself as, but never my true self. I know the demons I hide, and I share them from time to time, but thats only when I feel I can express them properly, and to people I feel I can confide in.

As for searching for special someones, I never went looking for one, I was merely looking for someone to share my burdens with, as cruel as it may sound. But what I found, was that where I was looking, and what was looking at me were two entirely diffrent things, and the thing looking at me happened to be compassionate, tender, and loving. Full of goodness, and grace, like none I've ever known. As appose the the vanity and self proclaimers to whom I was looking at. What the world has to offer is much more than just a pretty face, and to find the one you truely love is to find what you truely are. The one you want to be with always, has asspects of what you really are, what you want to be, and what you can never be.

i believe also, that if you can't find whom you are, then how do you find someone to complete you?
knowing self is knowing what you don't know. so how can you know if you are being completed if you don't know what you need for completeness?
if i do recall correctly, enlightment is not knowing all things, but understanding all things.
so, actually, i should correct myself by saying that one must understand self before you can know if another completes you.
for you see,

if you understand yourself, then you will know yourself. but if you know yourself you will not understand yourself.

i could clarify this, but i believe that it loses some meaning, if it is.

Exactly! wonderfully put.

truly to know yourself would be a bad thing....for it would mean that you had stopped progressing in life .....every thing you do changes you in some small way.....so you never really know yourself do you...
and you never truly know others either..
All I know is the few times I have felt I found love.....were the very times I had stopped looking for it.

To Lost Souls Looking

To the person somewhere out there
The one who holds the key to my heart
Make yourself known or set me free
A life made up of dreams and fantasies
Takes only so much loneliness away
But to know the real being that is you
The void it would fill
The soul finally whole
Are you someone known
Have you been seen before
In life or in dreams
Give a clue just a little hint
If i can not know who you are now
Then set me free
Someone from the past
Or are you yet to come

HellChildDami

if you were to know yourself then you would have no real reason to continue in life because that is really what people are doing is finding what works for them...

hmmm.... Now I have roamed this land for nearly 30yrs. And I have two kids and still single. I have let my wall down three times in my life time. And now after those three times I still wonder will I ever find my true love. It is hard. My heart does go out to you. I guess the best thing to do is to keep your head up.
That one will come along, and when he does you will know.

you will know that he/she is your true love and he will really be your true love, but only for that moment! You will change and he will change and if you two don't change in, at least, similar way, at one moment later you will find that he/she is not your true love anymore! Things tend to change, that's the nature of things. People can't face loss, and get sad because they focus their concetration on bad things in life.

Things always change, if you can't handle that, you will never be able to appreciate what you have for the moment because you will always be trying to keep it to yourself. The tighter your grip is, the more it slips through your fingers. there are so many things to learn and appreciate, love and care for. It's hard to list them all they just have to be learned firsthand.

I've always believed that you can't truly know yourself cause you are always changing cause of the events in your life. So how do you really expect someone else to know you. The most that you can hope for is someone that is willing to stay there thru the changes and learns them with you as well.

I've had others claim love, and say they knew me. That was a flase assumption. They will only know what I offer, be it truth or total fabrication.

No one could possiby know me better than myself, especially when I am struggling to grasp who I am. Well, not so much who I am, but my place, and where others stand in my life..

What I've found is when you hang out with fakes, you yourself tend to feel like one after a while. I'm trying to eliminate that.

I feel the best start to grasping who you are, is to get rid of the people holding you down. Everyone in my life holds me down, so I am in the prcess of wiping the slate clean of everyone, and trying to start over so I can actually attempt to feel contentment somehow, if possible for me.

Then, if love is meant, it will present itself before me, and if I feel I am content enough in my own life to pursue it, it will happen.

I find myself tryin to get out of this hell hole earth.

You should always be true to your self do what youreally want to do and say what you feel It is the only way you can even try to be happy

?

If you want someone to love you lokk at the person that pays mo interest in you. If you want to find yourself, put yourself in a dangerous position, there is no fucking Karma! Everybody gets the shit, you will always have what your not looking for. It's all a big joke on you. We are here to suffer hard times come and go, and when they do the hard makes you tougher, and the soft makes you paranoid as to when it's going down hill again. People are not meant for each other, and if they are you are in love with being in love, or lying to yourself. Wake up people your in hell.

aww, come on, if people were not ment to be together, why are you here then?

Humans are social animals! Even those who say that don't want to belong to any group, belong to a group of of people that don't want to belong to any group

I just appeared! LMAO I agree with you, but I get on edge when someone mentions true love! It makes my ass twitch. Or maybe I have'nt found the one?

i still don't think i've truly found myself, but when i thought i may have found my true love, i broke his heart, because i yet again didn't know what i wanted.

they say you always hurt the ones you love the most.

A lot of the hurt comes from having unfair expectations. Consider a random person you meet on the street, most people can care less if they are successful in life or not... when it comes to those close to you though, you put them up on a pedestal. You want only the best for them, and in general are as critical of them as you are of yourself.

Add in the old saying 'its easier to talk the talk, than to walk the walk' and you get those feelings of being pushed by those who love you... even though they should be working on themselves first heh

For every action, theres an equal and opposite reaction, yeah? What do you think is going to happen when you start feeling pushed, hurried, unappreciated, untrusted, ignored or any other negative feelings. If you dont know, and furthermore, dont recognize your own attitude changes that correspond with being hurt... how can you expect your partner to have a clue? How can you make it work without being a masochistic freak (which isnt bad... just not my cup 'o tea:))?

Wow this is long already, but to reply to the change idea.. well rather to expand :)

The only constant in the universe is change. So yeah, getting to know yourself is rather futile. On the otherhand knowing what you want is definately worth figureing out.

Obviously this is just my opinion, but it seems to be pretty accurate so far for me.

Peace~

Does it really matter what we look for? Half of us wont even find it!

You know what, I used to always look for something or someone that would make me happy. And it was right when I quit looking that I stumbled on it. And when I did, I had to decide on whether I wanted it that bad or if I wanted to just stay in that hating mood that I was in.

Actually, when you dont look for something it just comes along. Thats normally the way.

I wouldn't know what to look for in another. I grew up with ADHD and epilepsy and was kinda different from everyone else. (flopping around like a fish and being super hyper compared to other young kids kinda helps you stand out..lol) I outgrew most of this, but seeing how i first went to a "Christian" school and saw how dark the human spirit cause very few liked me cause i was different.Kids would would get together and lie about me starting a fight...and naturally a teacher believes the majority not thinking children in 3rd grade were capable of such things... I grew up trying to be a "true" good person...and ended up being different..lol..then growing up in a small town where everyone cheated on/with everyone else..i have a hardtime trusting people

This could just be me babbling on...but hey thats what I am good AT :D

I agree, that you are the only one that will know your inner thoughts and nobody could know you inside and out. Although, I am quite good at knowing what my partner is going to say. He says, "Stop that! Get out of my head!". HA...

I had a heartbreaking ending to my first love. I adored this man. He adored me. He came from a preppy life. I am not. But, he loved me. We were together approximately 9 1/2 months. How it could end, well, I couldnt find a job, while living with him and he was going to college. I had gotten a scholarship in art, but was so tired of school, even his begging for me to go, wouldnt work. He broke up with me, cut his hair again and his parents bought him a new Ford Festiva. *sigh*
Months later, after a very dark and destructive time for me, he called me up. By that time, I'd found another to be with. Nothing like Joe, though. Joe and I went to a resturant and sat. He said he would like to try again. I had tears in my eyes as I told him I was engaged. Ugh...

Yep, and that winner liked to hit girls when he was drunk. Imagine how I longed for my first love. I've never recovered though.

We are always growing, expanding, changing. If we do not do this together, we do it apart. When I read tarot for people longing for love, I tell them, it is not time for them to be found. They must evolve into who they are to be, for their love to come and for it to work. Imagine, if you had met your love years ago, or even today? It might not have worked, because you had not grown enough emotionally or spiritually. They are growing too, for the both of you to be able to make it work. *smile*

PS--You will never find somebody to complete you or make you happy forever. It has to come from within you. The high you feel from new love, is only the temporary honeymoon stage, lasting approximately 18 months. You can be happy with that person. Profoundly so, but they arent doing it all...it's coming from you.
I used to think I would find someone to complete me...ah, childhood romantic notions...still love the grand love theme. But, it is up to me, to do the work...I admit I still shop to fulfill some emotional needs. Ugh...haha...Or do I just like it? :P
K, sorry....done for now.

despite what others may say, it is most likely most of you here will crumble before the first man/women that winks your way.......

I agree with Sunshine... Luv sux! Haha! Let someone else try to figure out who I am... I'm having too much fun just living to worry about it!!

i agree with LifeIsKillingMe only in the second part of his statement, because the more we live our life the more we learn it.. Luv sux because you never learned it properly!

lol Manny
luckly i know from many occasion that i don't fall in that category, what is sad, is that you are right, and most people probably would. when you long for love, it is so easy to get hurt.

i find myself sometimes looking for answers for questions that i have asked about my life choices and how can i deal with them.

i find myself sometimes looking for answers to questions that i have asked about my life choices and how can i deal with them.

to know, accept and love oneself is of great importance in order to find love and happiness. I didn't have to look to find the man I love. We knew almost immediately that we were meant to be together, but still settled on being friends for awhile before taking any extra steps. You would not have been able to have convinced me of any of this when I was 18 and thought I knew what love was and thought I knew everything.

yet another cliche: Patience is a Virtue.

Trying to find myself and who all of me is is very hard. I don't think I will find out who all of me exactly is until my years are gone. I do believe that I should find most of me tho. Before I settle down to be with someone. I have truely loved only one person that I have had a relationship with. Somes you arent ment to be with the one you love. Things happen and its just not ment to be. Right now I am content with my friends and family. You know what they say it comes when your not looking for it.