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The other day I got a message from someone I really liked on VR, saying she was leaving, as she had things to do. But, she would still be online, via email and other social networking sites. The thing is, this has happened several times over the last few years, with different people: and, each time VR has been cited as their main reason ‘for leaving, to get a life.’ And, much as I’ll miss her from VR, my point of writing is a simple one, why is it that in order to ‘get a life, she has to leave VR?’

Well i've left VR because of real life, but never to get a real life. Guess she may of felt that it was taking up too much of her time.

But who knows, she may be back.

if VR is taking that much time out of someone's day maybe leaving is the right answer for them

I do find that VR takes up a lot of time. Not just the socialising aspect with friends, you have the coven or house your in that needs your attention. Then from there you need to concentrate on your status levels so you post in the forums, you rate people, you rate the databases. Then your submitting databases so doing research for items to add.

All up VR is very time consuming. If you want to get ahead on VR you have to work at it like you would any other social club or sporting team in real life.

So perhaps that was what your friends problem is, VR was taking up too much time to the point of obsession... so she is taking the break she needs to get out of the addiction lol.

When situations comes up in one's life....as it has recently in mine..I find it harder to get on here.

I agree with the above person...trying to level up and make favors does take much of your time, if the time is not there at the moment.

I may take a break from VR because of what is going on in my life...but I would not leave VR.

I think she just doesnt have as much time to put into Vr anymore is alll. I do not truly believe she will be gone forever.. It simply mean she will have to much to do in her life to have as much time to spend on vr.

I have little experience with other social networking sites, so I'm not sure if they're as addicting as this one is.

Let me qualify that statement: it's not so much vr as social networking in general. I know people who work facebook and myspace with just as much diligence (and not so much fun).

The genius of VR, and perhaps what makes it a problem for some people, is that the social networking is relatively easy.

I don't see that as a bad thing, but "addictions" are not an issue in my life, but they are in people close to me. There's a certain compulsiveness that the internet brings out, and the strategies for moving ahead here consume some people. Add to that the ability to role play, flirt, cyber, and you have the potential for a black hole of timesuck.

OBonewits also received a message from this person , and stated to him not to mention Reincarnation to her again when they talked again as her new love did not approve and she wanted to start out right in her new life .take it from me as we are on the "evil" side of life do not expect to hear from her .

Angelus -

"...my point of writing is a simple one, why is it that in order to ‘get a life, she has to leave VR?'"

Seems to me no one here at VR could possibly answer why your friend left VR... except her.

Its not fair to blame VR if your not having a life. If you have to leave something to get a life its not VRs thats the problem. The problem could be online poker or WOW or anything. You can still do the things you want online you just have to cut down on the time you let it take of your life.

I don't see why someone would need to leave VR to "get a life". You can have an account on any social networking site and still have a life in the real world. It's your choice on how much time you spend online and offline.

the omly person who can answer that qustion is the person who left.

This is the only social network that I visit and for the most part lurk...but I do find it very addictive for whatever reason and find myself here a lot at times...I have been here since 2004 and left for different reasons but came back...

Ive also left for times but always came back. I think there is something in the special status system on the rave that CAN make it a little more adictive if your sensitive to that.

Yes we all know that VR is an addiction but as far as your friend is concerned..if she had to leave VR to get a life then that was her problem and was spending way too much time here. We all have real lives outside of here but that is not a reason to leave. Maybe this was her only social life with unseen faces and felt the need to go out and explore real people and make those connections.

From what I have observed, people saying they have to leave VR to get a life, or saying they have 'too much of a life' for VR are using it as a way to insult those that do spend time here and are trying their best to show us that they are 'bigger' than we are, more important, and have goals and aspirations that we couldn't possibly have.

We all have lives. And we live those those lives in a brand new era where we can reach out to people in other countries instantly. The internet is a life enhancement.

People that have to leave VR are usually people that have had a negative interaction here, they couldn't handle it, they had to get away.

We have PhDs, company owners, and all kinds of go-getters as members here... 'getting a life' reasoning is a grasping at straws response.

Images pretty muched said what I was about to say; I might also add that someone else here stated that the woman left VR due to her new significant other telling her that it was wrong to be here, ie 'a negative site'...?
If that is the case, it's pretty sad. For one, the site isn't negative, and secondly, she let her significant other rule her choices...so, to me, she's turning over her life into the hands of someone else.

I think that VR has attained a negative outlook in some people's views, mainly because of its root in vampirology. Most people consider vampires to be "fake" or "evil" and consider such trivial pursuits such as this site as a waste of time. Perhaps someone said something to your friend to cause her view of the site to change.

Mayhaps she was simply "begrudging" someone in her own words as in... To "get a life" would be refering to... "quit with the B.S." roleplay or whathaveyou and leave that which tends to manipulate the individual even further into a realm of "nonesense."

Mayhaps she just needed a breather, a breathe of fresh air before continueing her usual? To get away from the "drama" she may have had within this site? I know there is plenty of that to go around. There is always a negative aspect for mixing age groups.

I have Other networks I go too and yes BloodMother they are as addicting as VR...But I keep coming back to VR because it is where I belong..Maybe she felt VR was cause of things wrong in her life, who knows how ppl think and most have to have something to blame their actions on

I daw it said here before no one but your friend can say why she left to get a life.

I personally can work, be one VR and have a lofe all at the same time. I have been on VR for 2 years now and have not missed one day being here

VR is very, very addictive in more than one aspect and to the right person here and there, it is there life. Some people that may be here or may have been here could've had issues with there family, spouse, or whatever, over this lifestyle and what the rave might represent to them, I think this is more than likely what has happened in this situation.

Well I don't see why vr is makeing them not have lifes.
Because in my opion It GIVES you a life.


-Kayden

I know for me at one time VR was my life. I loved getting online at the chemo center computer, or even through my cell phone. I was that involved. This place has so much to do, and also as a place to grow. I have to day though last year I had to back off as other things took a higher placement. I literally had to get my life together and that mean taking a step back from online life..

Personally I think I lead a fairly fulfilling life and yet i still come on here. One can have both just... don't come on here all the time...?

Well, when you say something like that, generally speaking, it means yer lashing out at people who are able to balance their VR lives with their Offline lives.

It seems she is incapable of proper time management, in which case, she needs to stay away from addicitive behaviors such as VR.

In short, bitch can't hold her blood, so she needs to be on the wagon on outta here.

Ah well. I'd say the loss is a shame, but I dunno who it is!

Hrm. I might not say it, even then. Ah well, benefit of the doubt.

VR is pretty much my life... but I choose it to be.... I gave up all my other sites within the first couple of weeks of being here. I consider myself a borderline agoraphobic so this is where I conduct my 'social' life

It's rather dramatic to act as if you cannot have a life unless you quit and leave an online community.

It's called, shut down the computer and go outside. You can always pop on here and there and still find your friends and the awesome features of this place.

I've had friends use this excuse in the past and in private they informed me that they were going to delete their profile and start a new one to get away from a freaky stalker person.

You hear this ALL the time, and many just keep on coming right back. My best friend on here recently left, she had 2 high ranked accounts, and 3 years invested. She sited pretty much the same thing as her reason, VR was her escape and she wasn't dealing with things outside of the net and felt it was detrimental to her well-being.

I think many of us get frustrated and want to leave at times, but I just take a deep breath and step away from the computer for awhile.

The "get a life" theme kind of just weedles down to time management and priorities.

I can think of a lot WORSE addictions, but I see what your saying. that does suck. that makes me thankful of my life choices that I'm allowed some free time to do what i want. it also makes me thankful that I dont have internet at work! hooray!

I am often now a days coz i have duty towards my dad is sick as well as i have to go to duty reguler or my job will go. Thanks to Indian Govt. that we are reversing the recession by brought down inflation rate from 12.5 to 9.5 percent. and taking measures in this line.

If she was influenced by a person in her life to make a call between being involved online, or with them.. Then she choose the later.

I think it's easy for some people to get caught up in the friendships and drama on VR. I wouldn't say that it's an addiction or an obsession, but at times VR can be far more entertaining than the professional friendships I have at work, and more engrossing than the friendships I have in the 'real' world. But VR doesn't replace them, it only 'supplements' them.

Again, I think this is harder for some people.

I am on VR alot but I don't consider it an addiction. In many ways, I've gone through drama in my life outside VR and leaned on people on this site and it's helped me. I've shared my poetry and other stuff on here like videos I've made for you tube and such. I rather enjoy my time here. I enjoy sharing parts of myself. I am choosy what I share and with here. As for your friend who has left VR, she obviously had every right to do so. Nothing wrong with that choice, noone here is a prisoner of VR, we are here of our own free will. Those who are not on the site and want to influence others to dump it like some bad habit or consider even some sort of cult social network are also entitled to their opinions. My point mainly is, it's not that anythings wrong with spending a great deal of time on VR, VR is not the problem here. It's the person, and they are using VR as their excuse, as a scapegoat. If you are sensitive to the point of a site being an addiction, than the problem lies within you. I workout, have friends, have a guy I am seeing and I work full time as a database administrator in a corporate office so yeah I have a life. VR merely enhances it and while I go on other sites, I favor VR much more than the others. I have learned from VR and found people I can relate to. Those I don't get along with, I don't interract with and their aren't very many of them at all. We are for the most part adults here (not all adults I know) and we can be held accountable for wha we do with our time. Noone's holding a gun to your head making you login to VR and stay a member here. You don't like it, leave at anytime. Noones stopping you.

No offense but I think that she might be a little confused on life.

Hello...my name is Chela and I am addicted to VR...

Uh Is that meeting down the hall?

Seriously, VR is wonderful and fun. It takes up a cubic-crap-ton of my time. I still love it. I'd never leave, I love my covenmates and my friends.

From what I can see in this thread, is people getting offended at some percieved judgment.

Her motives for leaving are her own, this is not just an online scenario. In life people come and go...often you miss them, but that is the way it goes.
You can only live one life, that of your own.

As far as the addicting nature of VR, Kudos to those of you whom can enjoy are full life and VR career simultaneously.
And I mean this sincerely.

However I myself, being very prone to isolation and somewhat hermetic lifestyle, find that sometimes I must force myself to leave the computer, leave my room, and the house. Before I become a festering heap on the floor.

Okay, I confess to drama there, but fairly speaking I find that I live largely in the world in my head...sometimes too much for my own good.

I have taken absence of VR, at the time I was experiencing personal problems, depression, dillusion, drug withdrawal.
I became lost in a void where I did not want to speak to anyone, interact with people even online.
It had nothing to do with anything that was said to me here...no one was offensive or mean in any way...

These things happen.

Well, my two cents to the question. VR is a social networking. People come and people go. If people need a life away from VR, because they can't maintain both, then, someone else will take their places. My system is a little "funny", I came to VR late 2006. I don't pay too much attention to my status or level. Reason, I don't have too much time to give to VR. Others, yes, and that is good for the site. I work for a hospital, some time 6 days a week. VR is my therapy and for that, Than You: Cancer..

Well, I think everyone judges, even when they say they don't ;) I made my comment based on observations of all other instances I've witnessed around here.

Of course I don't know this particular person's reasons for leaving- but saying you are leaving to get a life does imply that those who are here don't have one. People do say that all the time. "This is 'just the internet', so it doesn't matter." I disagree.

Information is passed this way because we're all over the world... information is also passed via physically mailed letters and telephones- and I have never heard anyone say in regards to that- "It's just the telephone" or "It's just a letter"... no, you are still accountable, and there are intentions behind it all the same. Using the computer to convey your thoughts and feelings does not remove you from it.

We make friends or we simply make acquaintances to shoot the breeze. Some of us do meet offline and we form great friendships. It's new world communication, and it is valid. It is life, too, in this day and age.

Well I know for myself that I took a 6 month leave from here for a while as I had some things going on, but this is always my escape and and I have some wonderful friendships here and would never just up and leave. Sometimes everyone needs to take a step back and take a break, I can't see how VR can be blamed for that. For us that have our own Covens/Houses or are staff for them it is time consuming, some of us have more time to dedicate to to it then others. Sometimes our significant others don't understand how this is even relevant to anything at all. but to each their own. I am happy here even with the drama every so often this is "home" and I don't plan on going any where.

I think that concluded this thread quite summarized in a safe point to be considered, her reasons are privately of hers, and regardless of words she used, we can't prosecute a sheer remanence of idealization. Everybody has reasons for everything and the judging without knowledge of purpose is simply narrowed in standpoint, one call this not having life others "whatever": if she thought that when she last the x amount of time, then the idea is simply contradictory, I mean you can't say: "Im losing my life because a page" and log in as pleased, you are really channeling your time in your taste of what you enjoy, and if you enjoy time in a page then thats part of anything else you enjoy in say: life? my take.

Everyone's life is different. Some people need different things for them to define it as a worthy life. Those here and not here have lives all the same.

Leaving VR to get a life?
While VR is fun and a wonderful place to be , it, as well as any other type of recreation should not be consuming ones personal responsibilities.

Balance is the key.

I have always believed life is as good or as bad as what one makes it.

Well from one remark it sounds like perhaps she is trying to please someone else that may be telling her that, for instance it takes up time that could be given to them. It does take a lot of time and work but it can be paced. No one has to be a Sire or bust. It's an interesting and somewhat (getting there) complex game with people who have various skill levels to none at all. For some of us it takes hours to even put up a profile that is more than default writing. I think it is relative to the person but shrugs if she felt that way it is her choice. It's no reflection on anyone else here.

Well maybe she felt that she spent too long on here, she can come back when she likes with a new profile, VR is a good site and some people live here lol

Your friend, Angelus may have also felt she was getting addicted here, and not going out and doing 'real life' things..


For me. VR saved my life 2 years ago. I've thought about leaving a few times... Images is right in that I would have left for the reasons of unpleasent contacts on here. But that got sorted out.
I am in control of m VR addiction.. it's now a slower pace for me, and a nice time out from reality..
I think she'll be back but with her priorities sorted.
xx

I would much rather have this addiction then some others such as drugs,alcohol,violence.........if she couldn't handle it there is a button on the computer that says POWER,push it and it all goes away.

Angelus,

More often than not, members leave this site as a result of frustration. It's not uncommon to see those same members return at a later date.

Rather than focus on the negative side of this, try looking at it from a more positive perspective and hope that your friend returns. No one here can say for certain what is meant by her reasons or statements. Perhaps she'll return one day in the future and explain.

;)

Well some take vr to seriously and feel the need to leave in order to get their life back on track cause they spend to much time on here and they ignore the real life things that are more important so I can understand her need to leave here and she may be back and she may not who knows but as long as you have her other sites it'll fine :)

True, it is very time consuming, although there are many people here depends on age and status in life that needed to take a "breather" from the website. Just like me, When I leave for a few days due to work, I come back to my status being lower because I was not able to come online. It is very hard to juggle life as well as the website here.

I left VR for a while because of a lack of connection and I hated it.... VR is very addictive. The minute I was able to get back on I spent massive amounts of hours on here catching back up. I've missed a lot of friends. Maybe she wanted to leave VR to get past her addiction.

It is addicting. But it is the most fasinating and wonderful on line site ever created.
I've been on others and easily bored by them. This site always has action and plenty to do. No other site compares to this one.
She'll miss it and come back.

She knows what was best for her. This is not a site for everyone. Loook her up on myspace. You guys could talk there.

well i like VR and i spend a good bit of time here but i do have a life and i enjoy it

VR can be addicting, distracting and sometimes can take you too much time.

Sometimes even I need to take a break from it, but never left.

But if that's what she felt....

VR reminds me of "you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave."

The VR suicide button has never entered my mind, or caused my fingers to hover over it. There isn't any need to delete an account, and if a person feels that they're spending so much time here, all they need to simply do, is not log in. Stay off the computer!

By working in a Hospital and seen many different illness, can be from the physical to the mind, may be now there is a change, that someone will show up and say: "I am addicted to this web site called, VAMPIRE RAVE, and I can't stop". The cure, turn the computer off, if you can't, donate it to the a school or a church. The end.

I am not here to juge who you or you or you or you will take vr, will be on vr or will live on vr.

But one thing I learned, yes it can be addictive, yes it can take up most of your time, yes it can make you miss on sme things.

But bottom line is: you make the choice on how much time, how much money ( for premiums and all) why you will log, why you don't, if you reply or not, if you add or not, (ok inductions are not your choice but still, you can become inactive and end up free)

Cancer has never said or wrote in any rules you have to be a minimum of time online, never. He sets limits to avoid abuse. But he never requested anything.

As for drama, I had my share still do at times, I am not perfect and hell I must be making loads of people not happy, still I assum (maybe I am wrong) that thye will get over it and go on with their lives.

I try to let drama slide off me like water off a duck, I admit it takes its toll sometimes, then what I do is I simply log off, or ignore everyone. If you don't feed the drama it dies, like fire without wood.

Having a life can mean a lot of things, if a person uses an excuse as this one, it is their reason to choose that.

I always wish to those who leave saying it is "because" of vr, that they have a happy life and they reach what their heart has set to reach.

Time can be taken to live, but time can also take your life. So just make sure you know where the breakers are and if you feel time is taking you, take it back and hit the breakers.

I could have spent the 55.69 days here present watching Hollyoaks!!!

it could be the fact that VR was the only thing she did do when she got onto the computer and decided that it was the one thing that she could do to correct the situation.

or it could be the fact that she just didn't feel right with VR anymore. it sometimes happens that way.

From reading some of the posts it sounds to me that your friend left not because she was spending too much time on VR but because she was changing her way of life to suit her new boyfriend.

VR itself is a fantastic social network and I enjoy my time here regularly. I may spend too much time on here, but that is my choice.

i think the choice to leave was her own. the blame should'nt be VR if getting a life is that un controllable.then maybe VR wasnt right for her or anyone in the first place..just a time passer