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Joli's Journal


Joli's Journal

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PROFILE




23 entries this month
 

Yeah, I'm still procrastinating.

10:40 Feb 29 2008
Times Read: 750


So, Irony pastes a link to me yesterday and much like cheez whiz, it has distracted me all night. It featured items guaranteed to make God angry, like crucified Christ chocolates. On A STICK! Yes, I KNOW it isn't Jesus Yes, I KNOW it's just chocolate. And as my friend pointed out, I'm a vegetarian, but I can bite a chocolate bunny's head off. I just couldn't eat it. I feel the black caul of sin just trying to mentally gently nibble savior toes.


Anyway, when I got to "dog nativity," I just came undone. There is a puppy in the manger. A puppy. In the manger. It's worse than black velvet last supper. I want to avert my eyes.



But given mine, Irony's, and Ockham's distaste of kitter, (You know the type...instead of saying hello, they mew at you and expect you to respond as though that's normal while you quietly search your memory for the locations of trashbags, a stone, and a map to the nearest body of water.) I got to thinking (never good)...if there is a DOG nativity, surely there's...*Googles*...yep, there is. Cat nativity.

Don't click. Surely you have better things to do.


But it's the caroling kitties that finally did me in. Even the name, "caroling kitties," makes the hairs on my neck stand up. It is much the same kind of disturbing dread that bunnies now incite in me since Irony did her magic, forever imprinting upon me on a bunny with a rainbow anal fissure. Not quite as bad as clockwork taxidermy rodents, but up there.


COMMENTS

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Ockham
Ockham
16:09 Feb 29 2008

And Lo! When the North Star shines bright, the Three Wise Cats shall come, bearing gifts of fur, mice, and catnip, for the young Baby Kitty Jesus.





Irony
Irony
00:31 Mar 01 2008

That is so wrong, so so wrong. And Ockham, you are wronger!





birra
birra
01:44 Mar 01 2008

THANK YOU ALL!



I have found ALL of the most PERFECT gifts for the zealots in my family!



You guys ROCK!





 

Whizzin' Away the Night

09:28 Feb 29 2008
Times Read: 752


Cheese from a can. It's the perfect procrastination food. It's the sort of food I would never eat unless the bomb had dropped and radiation poisoning were imminent or I had a big project due the next day. Suddenly, everything is interesting except what I should be doing.

I just made a smiley face in aerosol cheese on a wheat thin - no small task because wheat thins are tiny. I may run to Wal Mart, stock up and go grafitti something with spray cheese.


Why do we always hear about whipped cream sex? Why never Cheez Whiz sex?


I've read the can and it says, "Pasteurized Cheese Snack" and the more worrisome, "no need to refrigerate."


Stop reading this and kick my butt and tell me to put down the happy cheese and finish my work. What's wrong with you letting me screw around like this? I'm going to sneak in while you're sleeping and draw a cheez mustache on you!


COMMENTS

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Sinora
Sinora
09:50 Feb 29 2008

Not even I would be tempted by cheese in a tube lol





Angelus
Angelus
18:23 Mar 01 2008

Cheez Whiz ??





 

Extreme Manners Makeover

07:27 Feb 25 2008
Times Read: 823


Welcome to the Jo Show! Today's topic will be, "You Are A Bratty Punk."



When did "cool" become "thank you?" I think maybe we have a generation who missed out on this very basic lesson.

Part One: The Early Years



Let's go back to childhood where someone introduced you to the concept of how to get what you want. Getting what you want in life is our first and most important lesson. It is quite simple, but if these steps are not followed, it can go terribly wrong and you will end up confused and angry, shouting that the world is unfair while you teeter on a building's edge threatening a jump to a largely bored crowd who encourage you to do so.


1. Identify What You Want - Sounds simple enough, and it should be. You are born knowing that you want milk and it sucks to sit in your own excrement. Do not overcomplicate this one; the simplest pleasures are still the best ones. Here are a few: Warm bed, kisses, smiles, food, water, job you like, Star Trek reruns, and booing string theorists.


2. Making The Right Noise - This is essential and key to the all important "Getting What You Want." I will demonstrate with a simple Dos and Don'ts list


Crying- DO if you are under 24 months old. DON'T use it to employ guilt; it will backfire later, you pathetic, manipulative emo creep.

*variations on this theme: cutting, whining, blaming others


Tantrum - DON'T even if you are two. Somebody needs to swat your bottom or put you in time-out. I stop hearing immediately. I have mommy filters that I should sell on e-bay. If you are a teenager or adult, stop stomping your feet and continue holding your breath, you arrested development pile of steaming turds.

*variations on this theme: typing in all capital letters, multiple exclamation points, excessive swearing, threats


Using Please and Thank You in a Request - DO at every age! It is not old-fashioned nor quaint. It does not make you sound gay. It does not sound weak. In the grown-up world you want to join, it makes you sound polite, refined, and grateful. These are traits that will take you far in life if you stop hanging out with the DONTS.

This concludes today's show. Join us next week when our topic will be, "Blood Spatters Stain: Tarps, A Lost Art"


Remember, boys and girls, I usually want to shoot you, so button up; it's cold out.

COMMENTS

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captainglobehead
captainglobehead
12:20 Feb 25 2008

I want to collect the whole series.





Rictus
Rictus
12:34 Feb 25 2008

~falls over laffin~ Jo you are a rock of wisdom and fun.





CTyler
CTyler
15:36 Feb 25 2008

Reading this thing should, somehow, be mandatory.

Oh, and yay for particle physics, by the way.





Beastt
Beastt
08:27 Feb 26 2008

Fertile ground for George! Mr. Carlin would be proud to add the warmth and sugar to your yeast and dough.



(Credited to George:) New Rule;" No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting."





Irony
Irony
13:38 Feb 27 2008

Mmm I remember days when tantrums got you a sore ass and crying for no reason earned you a sore ass to give you something to cry for. All in all, I think I worked out pretty well and I still can't get around the impoliteness of the new generation:(





 

PRIVATE ENTRY

08:48 Feb 22 2008
Times Read: 849


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •


 

A Response

20:03 Feb 21 2008
Times Read: 917


This has troubled me all night and into today. I have put a lot of thought into how I want to respond. I'll outline my quandary: a VR member, whom I respect greatly, considered my last entry in this section to have been a slam to pregnant teens. I considered removing the entry. I considered making the entry private. But after reading it again several times and searching my own heart, I have chosen to leave it up.


I love people. That's the short story. There isn't a single person that I can name that I hate, and there is only one person I can even call up online that I actively dislike (and the subject of last entry isn't that person.) What I dislike, and sometimes hate are behaviors, bad decisions. We ALL are guilty there, most notably myself. I'm above nobody.


My intent in the last post was to highlight to this person her own bad behavior. She went out of her way to stir up a ton of trouble for someone and then, when called on it, continued to try to escalate the trouble or avoid taking responsibility.


I did not seek her out. I did not message her. I commented on the same journal she did, and she escalated her terrible choices again, messaging me and calling me her favorite words, "fucking whore." I pointed out some things that I still find valid and good advice peppered with a little humor.


On this point, I want to be crystal clear. I did not call her nasty because she is pregnant. I called her nasty for her behavior and the way she conducts herself. In mentioning her pregnancy, I pointed out situational irony. The very term, "fucking whore" in her case is funny for several reasons. I'll point them out:


1. Calling someone a whore suggests that you consider yourself morally superior in some way. It is a term best associated with prudish people pointing a finger while holding their own skeleton-filled closet door tightly shut to scrutiny.


2. Using "fucking" as a modifier to a term steeped in moral superiority makes your judgment sound ridiculous.


3. Her own situation does not lend itself to decrying other people's morality. (In fact, whose does?)


All in all, I simply meant to showcase a poorly behaved brattish person. My worst comment to her was, "nasty." I don't find it to be a particularly condemning word, more a measure of distaste, and as it stands, I'd have to say that I still feel that way about her. I find her personally distasteful. But I don't throw around words like "whore" or "skank" because I find that they are used when you don't really have anything valuable to say.


And, not that I feel a need to justify myself, because I think I made all the points I hoped to make, but I work with the population of single pregnant women every day. Many are teens and runaways who have a tight grip on my heart.


But there are some I don't care for very much as individuals, not because they are in a difficult situation or that they may have been promiscuous, but because some people aren't very likable. They expect to be sour, difficult, and dishonest and still be treated like a princess. So, what do you do? You love anyway and you always tell the truth, even when it isn't what they want to hear.


I only know how to be myself. I try to be myself with a dash of humor whenever I can, but I don't like everybody, not even if they are all bunny rabbits and rainbows coming out their butts, and especially not if they are vulgar, inciteful, and dishonest.


COMMENTS

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Irony
Irony
20:28 Feb 21 2008

I wouldn't have thought you meant that for a moment. Well written explanation of your feelings on the subject though. I hope that clears things up for you:)





Ockham
Ockham
20:30 Feb 21 2008

You are awesome, and people taking offense over something written in someone else's journal can, and I mean this in the kindest possible way, drive off a cliff while choking on a cock, into a sea filled with idiot-eating sharks. :)





Joli
Joli
20:34 Feb 21 2008

Well, as I stated to the girl, this is a public arena. I am as subject to opinion as everyone else and I recognize that.





BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
21:51 Feb 21 2008

I'm posting this for no other reason than for my avator to be on show as an acknowledgement of support for your comment.





Joli
Joli
22:02 Feb 21 2008

Your avatar in support always makes my day, Bloodlife. Thank you.





STABB666
STABB666
00:01 Feb 22 2008

We've all made statements and decisions which others disagree with, which is fine, but they are ours and shouldn't be misrepresented in order for those others to take a fallacious moral high ground.



We are who we are and if people don't like that, can't accept it, or outright reject it, then it is their issue to deal with.



I think you are among the most generous and wonderfully kind souls alive (even despite your political views), and am entirely humile when in your company.



;)





Rictus
Rictus
01:25 Feb 22 2008

I feel like a dirty nasty fucking whore...:(



Le tear.



Jo, fuck em, just fuck em. Push them into a deep hole and toss in some landfill dirt. Of course that is out of the Book of Randy so must be taken with a grain of pepper. Oh and you're a meanie with no heart...ahhh, yeah. THat is why you give so much time to the needy people and weep at the situation they have either got themselves into or life has handed them. That sure sounds like the definition of a mean person who is out to get someone...



This situation would be laughable if not for its tragic symphony of stupid displayed by a child who should listen to her betters. Another chapter out of my book :)





Joli
Joli
07:03 Feb 22 2008

This entry was not to STICK IT to a person who misunderstood my intentions. It was to insure that I was clear in what I was trying to communicate. I wrote it for me.



As I stated in the first paragraph, I respect the person who saw what they did. That is a present-tense verb because the person is still respected. I love your comments and know you're lifting me up, but I really just want to know that you understand the meaning I intended to convey.





 

Will she ever just stop?

02:36 Feb 20 2008
Times Read: 1,015


Well, she's expanded her Tard Bombs out to include me. For those of you who do not know this charming young lady, please check out Ockham's journal.


The short version: She messaged him because she thought his profile was rude (it is) and threatened him with getting her "top people" to remove him from the site. He has a paid account for the privilege of being here, supporting VR financially. She invited herself to be the subject of his rapier wit, but then decided to cry about how mean everyone is in response to her vulgar and illiterate posturing.


Now, onto the fun! Here is the message I found this evening. I have never messaged her nor posted anything in my journal about her before, but by her request, may I present the lovely lady herself, uncut for your reading pleasure.


*Disclaimer: I have not bothered with pointing out her atrocious grammar because she is already enrolled in Ockham's generous volunteer tutoring program for the stubbornly illiterate.*


On 15:49:37 Feb 19 2008 (-6 GMT) tashadoyle wrote:


Look if you wish to call me nasty dont say it behind my fucking back. Say it to my face because honestly i am not scared of any of you morons. Go ahead post this i hope to see it soon fucking whore


My response to you, tasha


1. You don't need to be afraid of us because we don't offer any threat to you. What we do is shine the light back at you and you don't like it.


2. Please try to remember that you are the one who called attention to yourself by messaging a member whose profile you didn't like and threatening him, getting yourself suspended in the process. Upon returning from suspension, you dive right back in and invite further scrutiny by messaging and posting the same "bull shit crap."


3. I didn't say it behind your back; I posted it as a comment in a public journal that I know you read, but I have no problem saying it to you. I think you are nasty.


4. I have never called you a name, (technically "nasty" is just a modifier) but you sling "whore" at me. By your own journal posts and profile, you are knocked-up at 18 with an internet boyfriend you unleash to take up the battles you start but are unequipped to finish. You are old enough to behave better.


5. You enjoy pointing your nasty little finger at others, but don't like it coming back to you. Find the block button, grow up and learn to hush.


6. Thank you for your permission to post your unsolicited message to me. I think that's a brilliant idea and since you are looking forward to it; I offer it as a gift to you and your adoring fans.


COMMENTS

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imagesinwords
imagesinwords
02:48 Feb 20 2008

I had never heard of her name before this fiasco with Ockham's journal... so I seriously doubt the girl has any clout with 'top people'.






Morrigon
Morrigon
02:51 Feb 20 2008

No no no, her cousin probably got on her account and sent you that message.



Damn that trailer must get crowded...





Joli
Joli
03:01 Feb 20 2008

Omg, Morrigon! You're undoubtedly right. I forgot about that little bastard. She's the victim here. Thanks for the reminder :)





Ockham
Ockham
06:11 Feb 20 2008

SHE JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED!



xgoldenxdragonx
xgoldenxdragonx
06:52 Feb 20 2008

Some people's kids..





Liebe
Liebe
13:22 Feb 20 2008

Ockham's comment touched me so much I shed, one glistening tear.





Joli
Joli
16:21 Feb 20 2008

You are a horrible woman, Liebe. You keep that up and I'll have Irony make you a Gothic Cheese judge!





Ockham
Ockham
17:14 Feb 20 2008

My heart, it pounds, with..

Is it grief? No, I think not,

This must be pity.





Irony
Irony
17:18 Feb 20 2008

Pity from you hmm?

That is unheard of I think.

Hell freezing over?





Ockham
Ockham
17:19 Feb 20 2008

For the record, I meant pity as in the scornful pity one might afford to a sub-human troglodyte, not as in the merciful pity one might show towards someone who has unjustly suffered.





XZxRomeroX
XZxRomeroX
20:32 Feb 20 2008

This person is not only a moron but rather silly.





Maledicta
Maledicta
21:59 Feb 21 2008

She's a little ray of sunshine isn't she? Her parents must be so proud...





Liebe
Liebe
14:18 Feb 22 2008

My pitty wells

in storms of fear

Oh wait

Nope, that's just my pizza and beer.



>;)





 

Red Hot Smokin' Beaver

04:08 Feb 18 2008
Times Read: 1,069


In response to this image being used as a stamp and the observation by all that there is indeed fur, I made my first-ever stamp. I believe we all know what is forever in darkness...that poor beaver!

Vampire Rave - The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory - http://www/VampireRave.com



I feel strongly about animal exploitation and hope you will join your efforts to mine to free this poor creature from further indignity.

Vampire Rave - The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory - http://www/VampireRave.com



COMMENTS

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Irony
Irony
04:12 Feb 18 2008

From the hazy eyed expression on her face, I think she isn't altogether uncomfortable with the positioning of said beaver:D





Joli
Joli
04:14 Feb 18 2008

Poor lil guy :(





Ockham
Ockham
04:19 Feb 18 2008

I mourn for this poor, poor beaver.





Morrigon
Morrigon
06:51 Feb 18 2008

Yes...Yes I had to make note of that little detail...It's just...I...*cries*





 

Insane Journal Night

02:51 Feb 17 2008
Times Read: 1,124


Journals rarely get suspended, but I have had to suspend TWO tonight. Please think through threats and racial slurs. Read the Terms of Service. Get a grip.


COMMENTS

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Look, Ockham and Irony, we can break a board, too!

00:14 Feb 17 2008
Times Read: 1,152


We call this board VBQXOOOOW. Stabb says it's what I left him to work with. Like he hasn't contributed half those Os AND the Q! We knew you'd be all proud.


Vampire Rave - The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory - http://www/VampireRave.com


COMMENTS

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STABB666
STABB666
00:30 Feb 17 2008

This what is know as the 'tie you down prior to raping your ass in a wordsmithing meta type manner' game.





Ockham
Ockham
02:08 Feb 17 2008

*sniffs* The little ones, they grow up so fast. It seems like only yesterday, you were carefree and happy, and now you've turned into full-fledged Scrabble Assholes :)





STABB666
STABB666
02:56 Feb 17 2008

Well, in my defence, she taught me everything I know about this game...






Irony
Irony
09:24 Feb 17 2008

Does this mean that you are our scrabble 'grandchild'? :D





 

Where's that escape key?

23:24 Feb 14 2008
Times Read: 1,215


I've often been asked if I believe in reincarnation. I just never have had any proof that supports it. Until now. I may finally have become a believer. It seems apparent to me that little Adolf here is definitely on his second go-round.


WARNING! LOUD and offensive. (You won't be able to look away...train wreck comin' your way.)





COMMENTS

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Liebe
Liebe
01:50 Feb 15 2008

Actually I imagine many of the people here get just as worked up over the "dramas" here.





Silverbow
Silverbow
02:15 Feb 15 2008

.......... : watches the start of it again: ....... yeah... I can see this in alot of places actualy. Oi.





imagesinwords
imagesinwords
03:25 Feb 15 2008

Yeesh, I'm embarrassed for him. Is there any rehabilitating that?





BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
10:15 Feb 15 2008

...and you guys can see a problem??!!!!lol





CTyler
CTyler
22:38 Feb 15 2008

oOo.. Somebody hasn't been taking their Ritalin.





KCRC
KCRC
01:58 Feb 16 2008

OMG!



This dude is seriously short fused. Man, I would hate to have to deal with this kid on a daily basis.





Sacred
Sacred
02:01 Feb 17 2008

-thinks back to his SEGA days long-past-



I don't think I've ever seen anyone get in that much of a fuss over a game. This made my week :)





robin3
robin3
04:31 Feb 17 2008

lol one i still have sega.....lolol



cute little games.....lol



and secondly......lol



i wonder how many keyboards this dude goes though a week.....lolol





 

Just...wow ala juggalo

09:08 Feb 14 2008
Times Read: 1,253


Extracted from a profile here on VR


"i am the goth that no one want's

i am the goth that no one love

i am the goth that has sanness in my heart

i am the goth that walk alone in this world of hate

i am that one goth that is looking for a true friend if not my life will end

i am the goth that live in the darkness of hate

and pain

i am that goth and if you dont like it thin you dont what to be my friend's"



Yeah, and I'm the terror that flaps in the night.



COMMENTS

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Ockham
Ockham
09:08 Feb 14 2008

Yes am singal.





Irony
Irony
10:14 Feb 14 2008

And will remain so... *shudders*





Ockham
Ockham
10:15 Feb 14 2008

am hartbrokn. :(





birra
birra
16:09 Feb 15 2008

I am the grammar checker that begs to be used.

I am the punctuation that is completely ignored.

I am the brains that hurt when people try and read this trash.

I am the manditory sterilization program that has never been initiated...





 

Password Update

19:41 Feb 12 2008
Times Read: 1,327


This is an informational message. If you are still experiencing difficulty, email is the way to get this solved. Contact me at yellatrek@yahoo.com.


Creating a second profile is NOT the answer, especially if you are slamming VR in it about this incident. It will be suspended unless it is a premium account, same as always. Someone maliciously misused the system and if your email was not updated with VR, you have been inconvenienced. Cancer asked multiple times for that update. So, while nobody's fault but the person who caused the harm, you DO share a measure of responsibility. Be patient and work with us. Send an email and we'll assess your situation individually.


Posting what you imagine happened in your journals is not helpful to those of us who are putting in a lot of hours to try to help those affected. If you do make a journal entry about this, please include the email address so that you can help solve the problem. VR is doing what it can to meet a problem head-on. This is going to take some days to sort out. Patience please.


COMMENTS

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Morrigon
Morrigon
20:21 Feb 12 2008

You guys are doing an awesome job. On behalf of everyone you're helping...Thank you ^.^






Sacred
Sacred
23:35 Feb 12 2008

I agree. In this(or what was) time of crisis, the integral members members to its solution banded together and got done what needed to be done, and you continue to do so now. Excellent work :)





birra
birra
05:54 Feb 13 2008

These things happen.



I know it's a major inconvenience to many who enjoy this site, and perhaps have paid money to further their enjoyment here, but in the end nothing is perfect. Technology definitely isn't perfect, and people even less so.



Patience and understanding from everyone is needed, and appreciated. Your efforts should not be ignored or diminished.






10241024
10241024
01:42 Feb 15 2008

Thanks for your hard work in this area!





 

Headlines Go South

09:42 Feb 12 2008
Times Read: 1,360


So yesterday I tell Irony and Ockham that I'm out of toilet paper and need to pick some up at the store. Irony shares an idea that I might convert newspaper for a suitable substitute until I get to the store. She even suggested a way to soften the paper up so it's a bit more comfy. I was quiet for a while, then assured her it wasn't comfort that had me concerned, but the newsprint.


What if I were to get lucky that night (suspend your disbelief in this little fictional tale, oh reader) and as I disrobed, noticed my potential partner seemingly quite taken with my nether elysian field? I might feel pleased enough to blush and thank him for his worshipful eyes. Then, without question, would come, "I can't believe it. Looks like Obama's got the nomination!"


COMMENTS

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Ockham
Ockham
09:44 Feb 12 2008

v@___OBAMA WINS PRIMARIES____





Irony
Irony
09:44 Feb 12 2008

I still need to write an instructional piece on this:D When I am not being an emo whiny bitch, I plan to do a demonstration on cam and make Ockham screen cap it. My family method for softening newspaper should be preserved for future generations!





Joli
Joli
09:47 Feb 12 2008

Is that your snail? Clean that trail right up, you sick puppy.





Ockham
Ockham
09:55 Feb 12 2008

That's probably how Hobina wipes, being that proper TP is a luxury when you're a hobo.........................





Irony
Irony
09:56 Feb 12 2008

*curls up in a corner whimpering*





captainglobehead
captainglobehead
19:43 Feb 12 2008

Honestly, the print was a little blurred, but I really thought that's what it said.





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
20:06 Feb 12 2008

Are you sure it would not read... *rat gets ready to run*



"Buy one, get one free."



I was just joking. :)





Rictus
Rictus
10:59 Feb 14 2008

ROFL Jo you are a saint! A funny saint at that ;)





 

Hang In There - still working on it

07:42 Feb 12 2008
Times Read: 1,372


I am still helping people get passwords reset. If you or your friend cannot log in, email me with username and email address. If the email was not valid, please indicate that. yellatrek@yahoo.com


COMMENTS

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Just...Wow

00:44 Feb 11 2008
Times Read: 1,506


It is not my habit to shame people in my journal. I try to keep it good fun, but I just have not the words for this avatar

oh god


COMMENTS

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DarkSyn
DarkSyn
00:47 Feb 11 2008

that was scary





STABB666
STABB666
00:48 Feb 11 2008

I like a bit of booty, but that's nasty...





Irony
Irony
00:49 Feb 11 2008

Yay! My diet has been saved! :P





Bones
Bones
00:49 Feb 11 2008

Damn! I'm glad I have eaten anything in the past few hours....lol





Abstract
Abstract
00:50 Feb 11 2008

My eyes are burning.





Ockham
Ockham
00:56 Feb 11 2008

Mein Gott in Himmel. What possesses a thinking being to do that?





Liebe
Liebe
01:02 Feb 11 2008

MY EYES! *note to self* when Joli shames people, run do not go look you will regret it. DO NOT LOOK O.o





Sacred
Sacred
01:07 Feb 11 2008

In the taciturn words of Mr Wielsel: "There are simply no words."



But if there were, mind you, they'd most probably be comprised of the lone: "Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww".





BubbleGumClaudia
BubbleGumClaudia
01:11 Feb 11 2008

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW





VeritaDiAmore
VeritaDiAmore
01:18 Feb 11 2008

When I went to click on that link I was thinking to myslef "It's probably something horrible, like deep fried babies or something." Which of course would have made me sick but now I am thinking deep fried babies wouldn't have been so bad.





queenmorbid
queenmorbid
01:26 Feb 11 2008

that was scary....if i hadnt tossed my cookies already i would have done it looking at that





Silverbow
Silverbow
01:50 Feb 11 2008

AHHH MY EYES.. "oh god" is not *enough* of a warning. : Goes for the mental floss in Dr. J's bathroom cabinet.:



I think maybe.. There is scaring of the retinas there.





Kontradiction
Kontradiction
02:11 Feb 11 2008

simply ASS-TASTIC.



::hurls::





KCRC
KCRC
02:46 Feb 11 2008

Oh my!



Just because it does not violate the rules of what is permitted, doesn't make it a good idea!





Kontradiction
Kontradiction
04:31 Feb 11 2008





...felt this was revalent...:








Kontradiction
Kontradiction
04:32 Feb 11 2008

er, okay, sorry, was trying to embed Sir Mix-a-Lot's "Baby Got Back" video, but for some reason it didn't work...



...my apologies....





birra
birra
04:33 Feb 11 2008

It doesn't violate VR's TOS, but I sure feel violated for having seen it...



...remind me to start collecting air-sickness bags from my flights for the next time Jo digs up one of these gems...





BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
11:36 Feb 11 2008

I agree...the colour was vile!





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
14:50 Feb 11 2008

You know the song by Sir Mixalot - Baby got Back?



lol



*Rat rubs eyes as I walk away*





Rictus
Rictus
19:15 Feb 11 2008

I luff it...lol. Nah just kidding, but I have seen worse here.



~goes to soak eyes in tabasco~





CTyler
CTyler
15:21 Feb 12 2008

Is this one of those "Does this outfit make my ass look big" situations?



o.0





Maledicta
Maledicta
17:18 Feb 14 2008

I'm kinda glad this was suspended before I got a chance to see it. I can hazard a guess as to what it was though...unfortunately!





Joli
Joli
21:00 Feb 14 2008

You'll all be pleased to know that she is back for your viewing pleasure. Suspension lifted.





 

Stabb has a go at Bad Poetry and triggers my pet peeve for THE SINGLE TEAR

22:26 Feb 10 2008
Times Read: 1,576


Stabb: I wept one single tear, for this life I feared,

Irony: o god

Ockham: Jo's going to stab you

Ockham: for the one tear

Stabb: Giving me a way to cry, I found my self awry.


*Joli starts concentrating her energy on the choccy lodging in Stabb's throat*


Stabb: I dunno...that was pretty bad

Stabb: oh, you kinky bitch!

Ockham: englishman choking on candy fetish?

Stabb: sweet!

Joli: uh, that's a bad thing?

Stabb: no, no...not 'bad'

Stabb: just freakish

Joli: when he's choking, I try to get him to say, "taco"

Ockham: "Say taco." 'Tacko.' *insert candybar into throat sideways*

Ockham: *gagging noises* "IT'S TACO, YOU BITCH. TAH. CO."

Stabb: "Gah-ghough.."


COMMENTS

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STABB666
STABB666
22:41 Feb 10 2008

So did I get a prize for clever use of 'single tear'?





Joli
Joli
22:46 Feb 10 2008

Don't make me kick you in the choccies!





STABB666
STABB666
22:47 Feb 10 2008

You really know how to get a guy motivated!






Irony
Irony
00:50 Feb 11 2008

I think we need to make Stabb one of the judges *grins evilly*





STABB666
STABB666
00:57 Feb 11 2008

Oh, oh thank you! What an honour that would be!



I would just love to flagellate my mind with lashings of awful grammar and the flailing of bad spelling...






BubbleGumClaudia
BubbleGumClaudia
01:12 Feb 11 2008

Stabb and the use of Kinky bitch makes me want to do naughty things...





 

"choccies"

22:14 Feb 10 2008
Times Read: 1,582


You actually say that?! The word makes me feel like a little old woman making cooing sounds at a gayly groomed poodle.


COMMENTS

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STABB666
STABB666
22:29 Feb 10 2008

It's better than using sweeping generalisations, such as the word 'cookie' to describe anything small dry and slightly baked. And then biscuit for anything slightly larger, but produced in the same way. And 'candy' for anything sweeter than said 'cookies', including chocolate.



As we Brits are discerning in both our taste in snacks and use of descriptive language for these tasty treats.



Crisps.





Ockham
Ockham
22:32 Feb 10 2008

"discerning.. taste in snacks?"



You obviously must have meant "delusional" there. That's a pretty bad typo. :)





STABB666
STABB666
22:35 Feb 10 2008

Ah, but you must admit to our having much better words for our snacks.



And we have better chocolate too.





Ockham
Ockham
22:37 Feb 10 2008

The English don't have better chocolate. The Dutch and the Swiss do. You don't get to claim their credit just by merit of being on the same continent.





STABB666
STABB666
22:45 Feb 10 2008

We have better chocolate than the good ole US of A...



:P





Ockham
Ockham
23:18 Feb 10 2008

We have Lindt! Lindt is awesome. Also, we have Cadbury's, which isn't half bad. Not all chocolate here is Hershey's/Nestle's...





Joli
Joli
23:25 Feb 10 2008

Lindt is Swiss, isn't it?





Ockham
Ockham
23:31 Feb 10 2008

They sell it at Wal-Mart either way.





STABB666
STABB666
00:20 Feb 11 2008

Uh, I do believe that Cadbury is an English chocolate...






Ockham
Ockham
00:51 Feb 11 2008

They sell it in Wal-Mart, anyways.





STABB666
STABB666
00:54 Feb 11 2008

I wouldn't dispute that they would sell it at Wal-Mart, since it is good chocolate. But just because it is available in America, does not, in fact, make it American...





Ockham
Ockham
01:29 Feb 11 2008

Welp. So it seems.



There has to be SOME kind of good American-made chocolate. It's impossible that a nation of over 300 million people hasn't had someone who decided to make good chocolate.





Irony
Irony
01:34 Feb 11 2008

Isn't Godiva american? I love Godiva:D





Ockham
Ockham
01:35 Feb 11 2008

Nope, that's from Belgium. :(





Ockham
Ockham
01:38 Feb 11 2008

Wait, upon further investigation, it turns out that Godiva moved to the US from Belgium. So there you go.





Kontradiction
Kontradiction
04:31 Feb 11 2008

yummy...choccies....LOL





 

Exhausted

05:23 Feb 09 2008
Times Read: 1,622


Feel free to message me still, but I'm so tired. The first "my password..." message came at about 4:30 PM, I guess. I was still at work but started trying to figure out what happened. One forum thread, several vamp box posts, Yahoo Messenger new friend requests, a phone call with Cancer, and about a thousand emails later, I'm ready to pass out. It's 11:20 and the emails and messages are still coming.


I love you guys and we'll have you all back and VR better than ever. Cancer sounded confident and unimpressed by the person who caused trouble, so fear not. It's well in-hand.


I hate that this occurred. I wish I could have been more helpful, but it really is just going to take patience. Please reassure your friends that they are not going to lose their accounts, but for some, this may take days to fix.


COMMENTS

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Abstract
Abstract
05:30 Feb 09 2008

With how fast you acted I am amazed. I am willing to help out with fixing this issue as much as I can do.



*standing ovation*

Yay for the Admins of this wonderful site.





Irony
Irony
06:01 Feb 09 2008

*kiss*





Silverbow
Silverbow
10:09 Feb 09 2008

Get some rest darling please...





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
22:38 Feb 09 2008

Have to say I missed the whole thing, just found the emails to reset my passwords on two of my profiles (lower levels to)



I did read the forum thread and you did wonderful, as always.



*hugs* Here is to the Mommy bear taking care of us.





robin3
robin3
22:22 Feb 10 2008

1) you been kind in helping a few of those i know, ty from me for what you did for them. thank you.



2)tell cancer the next time you two chat on the phone....lol he works endless hours for us, and very few of use truely realize what it takes to keep this place going.



and thirdly.



get some rest. lol





Joli
Joli
22:42 Feb 10 2008

Yeah, he's STILL working on getting this whole thing settled.





robin3
robin3
23:41 Feb 10 2008

:)






Kontradiction
Kontradiction
02:13 Feb 11 2008

i know that this is delayed, but a sincere thanks for all that you did to try to help everyone here, myself included.



((hugs))





 

The very best friends are the ones that make you pee yourself just a little every now and again (Once Again, I'm Violenta)

07:13 Feb 08 2008
Times Read: 1,663


Violenta: ok


Violenta: but I'm kinda still scared


Violenta: like you were a teddy bear and then during the night, you put on evil clown makeup that glows in the dark and I woke up to pee and you were sitting propped on a pillow beside my head, inches from my nose


COMMENTS

-



 

Actual VR profile quotes

10:58 Feb 05 2008
Times Read: 1,821


And next on the Jo Show:

I was going to suggest that I be allowed to feed the authors of the following quotes to the Fruit Fucker 2000, but I have too much respect for the randy kitchen appliance to offer him these STDs in clothing who keep seeping into the gene pool. But I definitely should be allowed to harm them.


"i'll die 4u kill 4u kill wit u die wit u and love 4 ever"


"Happiness iz bliss, missery my lyfstyle, pain iz an illusion and death iz the doorway."


"fuck the bitches and fuck the hoes cuz i get down with the juggalos"


" 'You can close your eyes to reality not memories' i realized god hated me when my mother back over my testicals with a van?"


"have you ever dansed in the pallmoon light with my kinde?"


"yes i know that i am fat and yes i know that you thank i am a ugly beast and i know that i am all alone in this world you all are always talk shit about about me and here i am with a razer cutten deep into my arm and with my last breath i scream FUCK YOU"


and perhaps my favorite of all: "im vampire so wacth out"


wait...I was too hasty: "Vamprye, i need the blood of the yound"


WHY? WHY? WHY?

COMMENTS

-



Ockham
Ockham
11:32 Feb 05 2008

Let us not forget this foul abortion of... I don't want to claim it as English. Can we not claim it as English? Is that cool with you?



"suddlen there cam a tapping if someone was genmtly rapping at my chamber door u heard me rapping right"





Irony
Irony
11:47 Feb 05 2008

Or the unforgettable "all hatas and hoe betta get the fuc of my page"



Ockham's quote is worse though. That is just... special.





Pwyll
Pwyll
12:27 Feb 05 2008

"randy kitchen appliance"...I am not a kitchen appliance. I will, however, dispatch these with my silver hammer, gladly.





CTyler
CTyler
12:44 Feb 06 2008

Sum ppl h4ve teh issuez OMGLOLWTFBBQ.



I am a polyglot, so I can write retard fluently.

Quite the paradox.





Vespers
Vespers
19:48 Feb 08 2008

These are truly, truly amazing. I am flipping baffled by my own level of amazement at the these sentences. Flipping. Baffled.





10241024
10241024
01:41 Feb 15 2008

I know what you mean. I too have seen those types of comments and don't understand. The craziest ones are the "I'm a bitch and if you don't like it screw you" type. What a profile, why bother.





Oceanne
Oceanne
14:39 Feb 25 2008

1 and no damn re rate





 

Stop Murdering The Language I Love

10:30 Feb 05 2008
Times Read: 1,825


My God, people...please, for the love of God - Spell check! Stop substituting a letter or number for a word, ala "U R 2 cool" and you know you spelled it "kewl," which it most assuredly isn't. Why? Why is it that you want to do this? It isn't clever, funny, or cute and it makes me want to stamp FAIL across your forehead.


And now, for the cartoon portion of the Jo Show:

Vampire Rave - The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory - http://www/VampireRave.com

COMMENTS

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Ockham
Ockham
10:35 Feb 05 2008

I love the Jo Show!





 

The Scoop on Ockham...now, move along

19:16 Feb 03 2008
Times Read: 1,932


About Ockham. Yes, he's my friend. Yes, he's actually one of the most generous and kind people I know. Yes, I know you don't like him. Why is he here? Well, he's made it abundantly clear upfront - To visit with Irony and me. I dragged him here when he wasn't interested in this site. We just want to comment each other's journals.


Could he have been more friendly? Yes. Why wasn't he? I have no idea. Is being here just to talk to 2 friends in their journals a valid reason? Well, it's his reason, so it's as valid as yours. He hasn't stabbed anyone in the back. He's basically just told everyone to screw off.


At least you know where he stands. He isn't pretending to be anything. If you don't like him, fine. But I'd appreciate no more messages telling me about my friend. Rate him a 1. Block him. Whine in your journal. Get over it. Not everyone is here to like you or paint bunnies and rainbows flying out their butts.


COMMENTS

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Irony
Irony
19:19 Feb 03 2008

I love you





Joli
Joli
19:23 Feb 03 2008

Because you are a clever, clever woman!





Liebe
Liebe
19:29 Feb 03 2008

hmmm painting rainbows out of our butts, I think that should become the new VR craze. Seriously, that way everyone is on the same level of humility.





Ockham
Ockham
19:35 Feb 03 2008

I love how the drooling masses seem to think I care what they say about me or what they rate me. It's like a hit of schadenfreude every time I see some pretentious loser all butt-hurt over something little 'ol me has said.



As far as why I am not friendly? I was pretty sure I made that clear in my profile (perhaps an edit is in order to make it more obvious): I am here solely for Irony and Joli. I do not WANT to be, nor do I have any reason to be friendly to anyone else. I'm not breaking the terms of service, so really, other people here can choke on a penis, unto death.



I've gotta say, the schadenfreude so far has almost been worth signing up on it's own.





Joli
Joli
19:40 Feb 03 2008

Ah, Ockham, how the eloquence just drips from your lips...like pearls from a swine's backside. :)





Ockham
Ockham
19:41 Feb 03 2008

I live to please, m'lady.





captainglobehead
captainglobehead
23:01 Feb 03 2008

THAT'S how you stand up for your friends!





Scarlett
Scarlett
20:55 Feb 11 2008

Jo~will you marry me?





 

Because I cannot take it a moment longer!

06:17 Feb 01 2008
Times Read: 1,980


Once and for all, it is "BEAR with me", not "BARE with me" unless you are asking me to get nekkid with you!!!!!


From http://www.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/bare.html


There are actually three words here. The simple one is the big growly creature (unless you prefer the Winnie-the-Pooh type). Hardly anyone past the age of ten gets that one wrong. The problem is the other two. Stevedores bear burdens on their backs and mothers bear children. Both mean “carry” (in the case of mothers, the meaning has been extended from carrying the child during pregnancy to actually giving birth). But strippers bare their bodies—sometimes bare-naked. The confusion between this latter verb and “bear” creates many unintentionally amusing sentences; so if you want to entertain your readers while convincing them that you are a dolt, by all means mix them up. “Bear with me,” the standard expression, is a request for forbearance or patience. “Bare with me” would be an invitation to undress. “Bare” has an adjectival form: “The pioneers stripped the forest bare.”


COMMENTS

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sockpuppet
sockpuppet
06:37 Feb 01 2008

So, I-, ye-, precisely. Bare your arse.





sockpuppet
sockpuppet
06:51 Feb 01 2008

The rule I use is



"Bear it up your arse, mate."



and



"Bare your arse"



That covers pretty well all my uses of the word bair





Drakontion
Drakontion
09:48 Feb 01 2008

Had to stop by for this one... hear hear!!!





KCRC
KCRC
12:33 Feb 01 2008

Being able to bear the burden of the illiteratti (That's a new word that I just made up!), is the bare truth on VR.





Joli
Joli
12:52 Feb 01 2008

being, bear, burden, bare...you're "alliterate" :P





birra
birra
14:33 Feb 01 2008

I should have known you when I was failing english all those years ago...







"Me failed english? That's unpossible!"




Morrigon
Morrigon
17:11 Feb 01 2008

Well...bare with me anyway...





captainglobehead
captainglobehead
21:26 Feb 01 2008

Actually, I WAS asking you to get nekkid with me...





Angelus
Angelus
02:18 Feb 03 2008

..personally, I would say, 'bare with me.'

..as in 'bare your soul' to me, my love ~

..if you want us to be one.





STABB666
STABB666
02:56 Feb 03 2008

Well, this bare bear has barely any reason to bear the weight of responsibility for ensuring that bare English survives, whilst bearing down upon it, the Americanised is barful to a proper pronunciation of our barded language...





Joli
Joli
03:01 Feb 03 2008

*reads Stabb's comment, crawls under the table and yanks the paste away from Birra, munches, and mumbles, "unpossible...unpossible."





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
18:40 Feb 03 2008

Bearly able to stop laughing. lol :)





Ockham
Ockham
20:30 Feb 03 2008

Fortunately, I've barely had the occasion to run across this particular pervasion of my mother tongue.





Ockham
Ockham
21:05 Feb 03 2008

Perversion! Perversion! I don't know how I slipped pervasion in instead. Fail. :(





Joli
Joli
21:12 Feb 03 2008

FAIL! Here is your shipment of FAIL!





Ockham
Ockham
21:15 Feb 03 2008

And here I thought the boat left without me!








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