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I have noticed that when we meaning me and by girlfriend go to the mall or out to eat people like to stare at us and point fingers. Yeah we are different but what gives them the right to stare and pass judgement on us. We are human beings just like them if not more so. I am wonder if anyone out there might be going through or have gone through something like this and if you did might we get some advice.

Thank for the time

Believe me I know what you mean. When I was dating my bf who had spina bifida and my other bf who had cerebral palsy and they both walked with a limp and stood no more than 5'9 and I'm 6' we got some SERIOUS looks. I used to get pissed, but they didn't. Probably because they were used to it. Eventually I realized that these were people I would never see again in my life so what did I care what they though of me at that moment in time. Be comfortable with being with eachother and the rest just doesnt matter.

This is true but on the other hand if I dressed normal and blended in with the rest of the sheep I would be called a conformist. I anyone knows me and Jaime we are not conformist, we are far from that. Nothing we do matchs societies rules. I am not a religious person by any means at all, either of us are. This is what I think scares people away from us is the fact that we are different ....... we are connected to the earth and that is something other people can not feel.

How do you know they cannot feel it?

Exactly, so what do you care if they are close minded enough to let your differences stop them from knowing the real people that you are. The people who you really want to take the time to get to know will come to you, you can't look for them. Those people are drawn to eachother as you will be drawn to people. For as long as there are people on this earth there will be a large portion of them who dislike what they do no understand...It's always been that way and always will be. The trick is to not let those people's opinions of you get in the way of you seeing the people standing behind them who are intrigued. (okay, that made sense to me, not sure if it will to anyone else, lol.)

I have never really let that bother me although my girlfrind has. She is just now getting to the point to where she is open. Now me and her are two totally different people and are at pretty much opposite polar ends, so people ask her alot why she is even with me. I am the type of person that if they don't like it then don't talk to me or look. If you are going to make fun of, and especially to where I can hear it then I will most likely go off on ya, that is if my girlfriend lets me. ~smiles~ See where I would get into lots of trouble, she keeps me out of. But that tends to cause tension between us(a diff story all together).

iv dealed with it nearly all my life and i have come to welcome their sidways looks and stupid comments it just means that i have an effect on them exactly what i want when i go out dressed up i want to shock and scare ppl my music dose that more so but if you can find a place or a setting where you feel welcome it makes it all that much more bareable nothing beats a rocking out crowd lol thats my salvation you need to find something like that

that happens to me everytime i go out..sometimes i get sales clerks following me around basically thinking i might steal something, or they completely ignore...but people can point at me and talk about me or glare at me all they want, i dont care

people dont like what doesnt fit in the small freakn box of normalsy so there you go ...its not right but it does happen...

ppl stare at others for many different reason not just because someone dresses differently..I tend to think of it this way maybe there happy to see you being happy and having fun together rather then think of it negatively

The most recent incident, was while I was at my old college. It was a private school...really preppy. Cheerleader types. *shudders* I was followed around one day cause I wore an all black outfit. Three girls who kept whispering stuff like "Do you think she's into that occult stuff?"

I am heavily Tattooed and I can be in the grocery store and I catch out of the corner of my eye wemon grabbing there kid up or old people turning and walking the other way very seldom do they smile as i walk by........ it dont bother me tho cause ignoance breads ignorance....!

I have lived with your same problem, and yes I used to get mad, but I realized that they just don't understand they like normal and thats what they want, when they see other then normal its shocks and aws them.

I get followed in stores frequently becasue they are afraid I'll shop lift. Occasionally I'll see parents watching their children close, or old men giving me evil stares. Oh wait - I dress normal.

I realize that there are definately stares and bad attitudes forced upon people because of the way they dress, and I think it's a shame. However, I feel obliged to point out once again that the same judgemental attitude can be found throughout this entire thread - a quote "cheerleaders, *shudder*" and also the fact you automatically assume they aren't in touch with nature because they don't dress different.

You'll be much happier to not always assume the worst as someone else previously mentioned - it could be a number of things. Hell they could be thinking happy thoughts, and have just been having a bad day and look angry. Trust me I get looks too even in a white T-shirt and jeans. No, I won't get as many as people that dress gothic - but you're killing your entire debate by stereotyping the people that you claim is stereotyping you. Not all preps are stuck up, not all cheerleaders are stuck up and socialites, not all rednecks are narrowminded, not all goths are evil, not all...do I need to go on?

Dark Greeting's, I'm 47 and have put up with it all my life.I like it if people are so closed minded let them stare and point.I go out sometimes just to get the rise from them.Don't let it bother you F***k what people think.Sometime's it's fun to point and stare back.Or just ignore it.
Dark Blessing's,KA

I don't know about the rest of you, but I know why people tend to shy away from me.

6ft, 500lbs, tattooed, pierced, mohawk.

Not to mention I'm often in the company of a various unbaffled motorcycles. So not only do I fall into the "freakishly large and scary" category, but I play on the darker fear of societies "biker."

It's not that I blame them, or look at them differently for it. They don't know me. Much like they don't know any of you. You are different from them, so they feel the need to treat you differently.

When people stare and me, I flip them the bird and tell them to look away or I'll cut them, that usually works.

I'm going to make a point to stare at you if ever given the chance.

I know exactly how it is. I have a disabled daughter that uses a wheelchair and is blind. She barely has enough of an eyeball in her right eye to make it look normal, its sunken in. People don't come up to me and ask questions to try and understand, they just stare at her like she is a circus freak. My advice, which I take myself, is to ignore it. They are the ones who aren't normal. There is absolutely nothing wrong with my daughter, she's a very special child. The ones who think that there is something wrong are the ones with a disability.

Not everywhere is like that! I live in a small rural area but there is a very large array of different lifestyles and looks.
I think its more down to not being used to the look with it being smeared in the past and connected to satanism and killings etc;
But like everything it will slowly break into society when people get bored or the next big thing comes out.
I think its also down to how people were raised they didn't grow up with seeing this culture or they're just plain narrow minded.
The goth and vampiric lifestyle isnt the only lifestyle to get this attention.
I mean, come on we still have issues with race sexuality, religion and sexism.

Unfortunately, most people judge you on their first sight of you. There will be people who will take the time to get to know you. On the other hand there are those who will just stare, point, and judge. Here is an example; Two years ago while going home for lunch (working construction), I was pulled over for speeding (52 in a 50mph zone), the officer, (state patrol) asked for my licence and registration, proof of insurance, and asked for me to come back to the car with him. He ran my name, plate, asked them to double check my name and look for anything on me tickets, warrants, anything.(I am sitting right there!)
Well after finding that there is nothing on me and everything is legal, he asks when the last time was that I was in prison? I told him never. He asked well last time you were in jail? Again never. All the while he is looking at me and can't believe me, and can't believe that there is nothing he can find on me. He let me go, and watched me for a long time till I turned off.
The reason he was looking....I have long hair,(to my lower back at that time),I have tattoos, I have my ear pierced twice and my tongue pierced, I was driving a beat up work truck, with native stickers on it, and when he walked up I was turning down my rock station. What he doesn't know...I am a father, a grandfather, and a U.S. Marine. I am a damn good person and I am working to support myself and my kids. I am educated and intelligent. I love, care, feel, just like he does....but because he was blind to making judgements about me, he will never know any of that.
There will always be ones who judge, point, stare and just don't want to be around any one who is not like them.

It is their loss.

It's just human nature to stare, ostracize, sneer at, condemn etc something/someone who is "different"....just ignore it and go about your business.

Like Shakespeare said.....

"Men's eyes were made to gaze, so let them look."

i alway stiock with the quote i dont know by who but thhis is how it goes "they laugh at me for being diffrent i liagh at the for all being the same."
that about all i think on this mabey another thought later

it's possible that these ppl who can't stop staring may have a problem with those who are different i don't know what to do about this other than try to ignore the stares

I understand, I've been given rude stares, pointed fingers, had rude words given about me, etc..For awhile now. I've kind of gotten used to it. The only way you can stop it is to be how they want you to be, which you shouldn't do, or just ignore it. If they're judging you like that...Do you really want to impress them?

yes it is some thing i have noticed. but you give them power if you let it get to you. so i do what i do best. i just remind my self that i am better than the rest of the cattle.

what about society makes them back away huh? well it is the unknown they dont know why someone would like to look that way . just like all societies other problems whatever dose not fit into there herd of sheep,is strange or odd and quite worthy of being stared at and riddiculed.
i have learned to gain enjoyment from the pointing and staring usually if you say somthing to them about the staring it really freaks them out.one day i was at the mall and there was this kid throwing a tantrum on the floor as i walk by the boys father said "you better behave or ill send you with that guy" my response was "yay i always wanted one of those"
the kid stated screamming louder and his dad look horrified by the fact that i had herd him

dont worry your not the only that happens to...if my boyfriend and i go out on a date staring and small whispers are part of the package i guess is how i could put it the best thing to do is enjoy yourselfs and dont worry about them if they have a problem with you and your girlfriend they should have the guts to take it up with you.

How is it that Shakespeare has a saying for everything? That guy was everywhere!

I think its all a matter of (YOUR) perception of yourself, as well as other people...I have a group of friends, a band...who have a radical appearance for this area; emo/goth/metal whatever...tatooed, black clothes, Ryan looks like he could host a flock of birds in his hair...but the point is, people may be staring at them like they are freaks, but THEY think people are looking at them like rock stars...and you know, sure as hell little girls come up to them in the mall asking if they are a band; its all in how you carry yourself.

If you slink around with a chip on your shoulder, or like a kicked dog, people just wanna kick you again; if you smile big and give a parade wave, people get confused and smile back.

Society has always and will always be afraid of what they find different and don't understand. When I would take the train to work in the city, I usually ran into this man who would look at me reading my LaVey books with my inverted cross and Sigil of Baphomet. he would then start to pray. I would look back hime him and laugh in his face. I say make them feel as uncomfortable as they make you feel. If need be, approach them and scare them even more....

People look at anything which is different to them. One of my very good friends has CP, she walks with a cane. Many of times when we are together walking, she'll have the cane in one hand, and I'll be holding her other hand.
People have stared, and it can be quite annoying. We have had children come up to her and ask her what was wrong with her legs.
But atleast they had some common sence as to ask what was wrong. I find the adults to be more annoying and rude then most young people these days.
I really don't know why people stare. Maybe its because its fear of the unknown, maybe they don't even realize that they are doing it.

My friend and I had a conversation about this very thing at 1 time. She said that she has received this kind of reaction all her life, and now she don't even take notice to it anymore.
It cannot be changed, and it will always happen no matter who you are, what you look like, or how you act.

My persona lexperience with this.....hmmm....well. Most people kinda look and stare until I start asking them questions...kinda breaks the ice, for the most part they actually answer and then I end up with some normal as a friend...lol hell for that matter I'm kinda plain myself. but even when I go out in my bondage gear clothes I still get more comments and friends than pointed or laughed at...maybe it's the boobs
::shurgs:: who knows...they'll do what they do and i'll continue what I do =)

my personal experience of epitomising all which is to-date socially unacceptable, you like to suggest that it is the natural response of humanity to fear what it does not understand..

like the fight or flight mechanism much like that instigated by distress, fear is natures way of protecting its self from possible danger. the answers to your question, what about us makes society flinch.. are well depicted in this forum. however, i put it to you that we are, in our own nature a subconcious stimili for fear..

many of us proudly radiate our existance to the world, if recieved by the human society, this message requires and appropriate response..

i hope i have helped you,
daeg.

I understand completely. I not only get looks from the general public, but also from my friends and even my teachers. One particular teacher, my 8th grade art teacher, hated me to no end...but I had done nothing wrong to her. So, all year I purposefully tried to impress her...DO NOT ATTEMPT TO DO THIS FOR ANYONE! Just do your own thing and if anyone tries to change you, tells you you're not normal, or gives you dirty looks, just let them go fuck themselves and continue to be yourself...People are so ignorant of anything outside what is "normal." At the end of the school year, that teacher I told you about nearly lost it when I won the Young Writers Award at our awards assembly...but I had finally proved to her, without even trying, that "abnormal" people can be just as successful, if not more so, as the "normal" kids in my class. I didn't try to get that award for her, I did it for myself... As a matter of fact, I didn't even know I was getting it...so just be yourself and eventually those people will eat their own words.

Thank you all for all the advice.We will think about the narrow mindedness of those people and have a little amusing time out of it for ourselves. And we all know that everything comes back three fold.

I personally have fun with the looks I get. I deliberately bought 4 silver rings, with spikes and/or skulls, as well as a large black cane with skulls on it, and together with the spike bracelets and the claw, I can get some serious looks out of people. It's like a sport! Simply stop caring what others think, and have fun with the uneasiness you can give people...

I agree with ventrueprince2 in that often people do fear what they do not understand.
Everyone is unique in his or her own way - that is what makes life interesting! I too do not fit in with the "crowd" but it is because I do not choose to. I am not a gossiper, or a back stabber like so many who smile at your face and talk about you behind your back.
I admire those who are their own person and do not give in to society's demands. Be yourself and never mind what anyone else thinks.
Those who truly like you for who you are is all that matters! *smiles*

I am always openly stared at and hear quite a few remarks made about the way I look to others. But I don't give a care simply because I know I was not put upon this earth to please people like them. They mean nothing to me. For those really obnoxious folks however, a point and loud laugh usually takes care of things if you should feel uncomfortable.

I have tried dressing differently to look more "normal", I have tried various things to try and blend in more, but nothing much ever made a difference, I found out the people still felt something different about me and reacted to this. I guess you never really get used to it. But it is best to be yourself and be proud of who you are and not care what society in general thinks as long as you are happy with yourself.

i believe we should just live life to the fullest not worrying what others think, but not to judge
dont think that just because we are different that we are better, or feel the earth differently. everyone has their own spiritual side. the best thing to do is learn as many as we can to better ourselves. there are some beautiful people out there who look like everyone else. its the mind, not the appearance, that attracts me.
people live life different, were raised different.

People have a tendancy to fear what they don't understand or what steps out of the "norm"

It's repulsive really. The homophobia in todays world that it.

They point because they don't understand. they stare because they are curious, and the judge because they are vain.

Stick it in their face. If a husband and wife can walk anywhere they please so can you and your girlfriend. You shouldn't let what's going on in those peoples head to trouble you. Especially if they judge you because of your sexuality. Because that's some they can easily judge with. If it's not that its the clother your wearing or the food you eat. People always judge.

It is in our natures to judge and assume things, we all do it to some degree.
Brush it of your shoulder and smile and waive :)

People are always going to notice people who are different. That just makes sense. If I walked into the mall wearing thigh-high platforms and a clown wig, I expect you would stare too. Whether you or they approve or not doesn't matter, anything out of the ordinary will always attract attention. If if you are dressing differently, and that is what is drawing their stares, then consider: Why are you dressing that way in the first place? To be different from them? To be like your friends? Because you just think it's cool? Whatever it is, it comes with the territory. If the world was full of goths, the preps would look like freaks and we'd all be staring at them.

Ooooh, it's because you're with a girl. Missed that. I stand by my point however. Just replace clothing with sexuality.

I agree with Imagesinwords....I also tend to view this as I'm uttley fabulous and they are just rabidly jealous of me..I invite stares..I dress over the top when I can to make people a tad uncomfortable and also bring it to view I'm here so deal with it......I dress very colorfully, they don't like it take a picture it lasts longer right LOL.......

Will you be my valentine Vladjack?

simple they think we r odd but they need 2 acept us 4 who we r n then we will acept them.

Who cares what opinions they have about us. I didn't know their opinions mattered in the first place. Let them think what they will. Keeps them away from me and out of my business.

yea i hv a frnd who had an accident n his gf still loved him n married him. we were very happy for our frnd but i hv seen later on people always looking at them whn they went out n tlk abt them n see them with different looks i donno why tho.its really hurts my frnd . i think these people has nothing to do at home so they come out n tlk abt others all these bullshit.i hate such people.

Vulash let's make a love nest with Images and Vladjack... we can generate our own stares in society.

Ahhh.... Vulash.... hmmm, rhymes with "gulash" and looks almost as tasty. Any time you're in San Francisco we can discuss Valentinage.... And Sahahria (I hope my memory, such as it is isn't manglin the spelling of your name) I never have trouble drawing stares when I want them, but generally I find I can accomplish a great deal more, and get away with so very much more when I blend into the background. Subterfuge, and invisibility are so much more to a vampire's advantage... Oh, dear, I feel another song coming on....

This one is from the Rigors and Hammerfilm musical, "The Count of Music" and yes, ti is copyrighted, but you may sing it to the tune of "Mount Every Climber," or was that "Climb Every Mountain"?

Muffle each footstep
Don’t give away
Any clue you’re present
When you stalk your prey

Blend into shadows
Hide in the night.
Don’t alert your victim
Till they feel you bite.

Be discreet as a breeze
In a long-distant dream
Or the town’s on your ass
When they hear someone scream

Muffle each footstep
Don’t give away
Any clue you’re present
When you stalk your prey

I avoided posting here but I think it needs to be said...
As long as I have been in the alternative scenes (goth, punk, etc) the one thing that should be no surprise is that other people will make fun or point or even try and fight you based on the fact that your different.

This negative attention can be even more pronounced if A) you are shy and try to avoid it, or B) you are even more outspoken but lack the strength to stand right up to someone and laugh. For some reason, once you've gotten older and simply don't care, people stop (or you learn to ignore it).

Anyone going into an alternative scene should not only be prepared for that kind of ostracism and negativity but should almost take pride in the idea of being seperate from a society that would make those kind of decisions. This isn't to be mean but simply to say your skin needs to be thickened if you wish to be 'different' because in this day and age, and in this society, that's what 'different' will get you.

My advice is to consider why you are 'different'. If you are different because it's what you want to be - because it's who you are, then learn to let this kind of negativity roll right off your back. Learn to completely ignore it. Giving that kind of thing attention gives it power. I'm not saying to hide from it. That will show weakness. I'm saying that it's unimportant and petty...treat it as such.

because they are jealous of what you have

Felix does always manage to sum things up quite nicely but what he left out is that humans by nature are suspicious creatures. We all expect the worst out of one another because it has been engrained in us that "other people" are evil. From very early on we are told not to talk to strangers...
We are taught that anything we do not understand or that which is unfamiliar to us is bad in some way. Which we as alternative living people, take that a bit beyond just being a "stranger" with our oddly colored hair, tattoos, piercings, and chip on our shoulder attitudes, we draw more attention to ourselves than the average stranger does. So we must expect to be noticed, even if it is negatively.
Don't take that sort of notice as an insult, merely learn to play my favorite game...fuck with the mundanes...OR turn the other cheek and laugh outloud once...make them wonder what you found so funny about THEM.

Unfortunately, we live in a society that is extremely close minded. Most people that have the time to bother & annoy someone else does not have a life & picking on or bullying another makes them feel strong. When you & I know different--they are ignorant. I was raised to be an individual. I'm happy with the entity I have allowed myself to become, it has been quite a struggle & I now realize it was worth every bit of it.

Hey wut u really need to do is kinda stand up 2 them and walk up to them and ask them if they wanted something and if not tell them well stop pointing and staring me and mine are trying to enjoy a nights out

Perhaps some individuals are just to sensitive and this enhances their perception that people are staring at them.

peeps are losers

when you have something intelligent to say, somethig new it appears to be different, and anything different is so cool, that they wished they could come up with something like that but they can't because they are just like everyone else alseep at the wheel

they cast out the peeps with talent because they haven't any

it is envy of individuality

bad brains are rampant

The reason is people condesend on the way we look and not by who we are but yet they say that we are different no we are unique they can't grasp that yet because of who we are and how we act.

people are going to look at you weird whether you're freakish or normal looking in their eyes. not because they automatically think oooh scary person, but because their own curiosity is getting the better of them and your outside their box of understanding. the trick is to find amongst the crowds of gawkers and finger pointers the few people who are so intrested in the way you dress or act that they ASK. i've had dozens over the years walk up to me and just ask me a simple question such as "why do you dress the way you do?" or "what is your religion?" and instead of what angry youth have a tendency to do and flip them off and walk away, I have made it my goal to try and talk to them and explain my perspective. I've had people judge me for what i look like over the years to an extent i've found degrading and never once have i turned away an explanation of what i am and what i do when asked.
A prime example would be a bus driver at my vocational school. Every morning i would say "hello, how are you today?" of course i was dressed in black, black lipstick... purple or blue hair... white make-up... and never once for two months did he dignify me with a response. Finally one evening as i was sitting talking with my friends about some mundane aspect of school life he pulled me to the front of the bus. his exact words were. "I've been extremely rude to you. All of this time i thought you were some hopelessly destructive little anarchist. All this time i've been judging you by the way you look. I've misjudged you and i'm sorry. You're a good person. From now on i won't judge people who dress like you do until i know them."
I won't ever forget those words because they like the many i've recieved over the years have come to make me understand that even if i did flip people the bird upon their looking at me wrong... it wouldn't do a damn bit of difference. Instead i get more satisfaction out of doing the unexpected good deeds... like dressing the way i do and walking around handing out roses to disabled children. You'll never see a parent's face go from such an extreme to another.. "don't hurt my child please! don't frighten them!" to "why in the world is she being so nice?" to "she made my kid smile"
sometimes it just takes turning those looks of awe and fear into something more productive....

i hate when humans or people or anybody look at me or any of us this way
"like weird things or monsters"what to fuck leave me alone i am who i am i am what i am ,nobody is going to change that
and if you dont like it "fuck you see ya in hell"sometimes i get into trouble or sometimes i fight too cos i cant take it anymore fucking people looking at me this
way ,cos i am serious ,cos i dont smile,cos
i dont have friends ,cos i am really lonely
fuck all the people that dont understand me or dont understand any of us

no matter what until the end of time people who are differant will be look at as just that. If you are not the standard, you will be stared at, made fun of, so on and so on. It is just like that. Sure it isn't right, but it will always happen. You just have to get used to it. Then realize hey they are giving me all of thier attention. You have them in the palm of your hand, cause you are thier focus. So look at it that way.

yes i know man ,and i think the same way yo do sometimes but sometimes i get out of control you know what i mean

There will always be times when it is unbearable. You get tired of the comments and stares. I've gone off a time or two, but sometimes that needs to happen. It shows that we are living creatures. Everyone has a breaking point.

i agree with you, you are right

why thank you...i just look at things as positivley as i can. The world is not all good, nor all bad, but I try to look at it in a positive light. I think why let others who do not understand you bring you down. They have no right. Let them stare, peak thier curiosity amke them want to be you, cause deep down thats what they think when they poke sun , and glare. Is I wish I could be that bold to express myself and break the mold.

On a more vindictive note...when it's being done not out of curiosity but to make fun of someone...I've found a wonderful revenge is to be extremely loud and to draw as much attention to you and your 'tormentor' as possible.

See often people that resort to 'making fun' of people really don't know how to handle that much attention. What you've gotten used to, they simply can't handle. So if you're really loud and say things that draw attention to the both of you (MOTHER OF PEARL I THINK THAT MANS POINTING AND GIGGLING!), things that aren't necessarily threating or vulgar but just draw more attention to the both of you. You're ready for it...they're not.

They'll typically be more embarrassed than you which when you think about it is rather just desserts.

Some people are unable to deal with anything that is different from them or anything that they have ever encountered. These are usually narrow minded people with the attitude that they are better than everyone else. You have to ignore uppity people like that.

Some people stare out of curiousity. Once you are able to tell the difference between the group in the first paragraph and the group in the second paragraph, you can feel at ease around the second group. They may admire you for being different.

See...I think its pretty safe to say that you are far from alone on this....told ya, lol

It's the threat of individuality.

We have the guts, and the confidence, to step out in the world, as we truly are, and feel good about ourselves, despite what others say.

Unique is something that scares those who never had the chance to truly be everything they wanted to, or it just confuses them...

We don't want to be like everyone else, because that would be lying to ourselves... As long as we're happy in our skin, and we have a place to go when we need to vent, the 'biased' world shouldn't matter.

Just remember, they're only looking, because in their heads, they're wondering... "How can they be happy?"

If they don't understand, its highly likely, they never will...

:P

That's my opinion anyway. I love the way I am, who I am... and I feed off the fact that I'm not like all the others.

Not real sure if I was making myself clear we are a straight couple that gets stares and people judging me. I am not going to let someone that does not know me pass judgement it just makes me mad that people say there is only one person that should be judging us and that is GOD if that is what you believe in. I am not sure what to think of the people that say they follow the "good book" and pass judgement. I think that is why I like VR nobody here judges us and for this I would like to say

Thank you

you want some fresh air? check this out

I looked normal. Ok?

The thing that I learned from the last summer I did take a ride on my looks, people didn't attack me for what I looked like, they reacted to what I acted like. I have always been a wolf in sheeps clothing.

I think it is how we behave which is what causes this adventure of pointing fingers. But anyways for the most part, in my life I would say that perhaps 10 times in about 25 years, they've said : "OH he is gay, or something..."

The only people who have problem with homosexuality are the ones who are closet cases, they stigmatize on you their fears. If someone cusses you with an insult, you have opened their pandoras box of what would bug them if it was said to them,
so, when a homophobic person makes fun of a perfectly straight man, you know what it is they are doing, why they do it. Their own sexuality is in question, and so they have to distract the pact with poking fun at someone elses sexual orientation. If they say you are this or you are that to someone then, obviously they are not what they are purporting you are. It is all a smoke screen

I say to them

I am not a homo, I am not bi, I am the pariah of pariahs, I am the outcast of individualism, not in so many words. I have a better shortened version but it would be disparaging to certian groups of people who are trained to feel bad by the populus about the way they feel.

I think someone should go around with a camera and pull down the pants of the fag callers, and do a whole documentary proving this with their panties and shaved legs under their tough western genes.

Im gonna have to agree with Imagesinwords on this subject.

One more thing.....Hot Topic has over 600 chain stores in suburban shopping malls.....just food for thought.

I just say ... Dont let them get under ur skin!!

u got ur life and dont need to be bothered by others , let them think what they want!!

I dont really care! :)

I would have to agree with u on that one. If you do not let them get under your skin you are winning. If you let them think that they are winning and give them a false sense of pride then I take it the joke is on them

Awww Tinius! I wanna give you a hug. :o)

Actually in the past I used to get that a little bit. I sometimes will wear all black, and with my dark black hair and pale skin I do get some stares for being "goth" looking. But I have learned to shrug it off and tune them out. Sometimes that's what you have to do. These people that are being rude and tacky by staring and pointing are no better than anyone else. In fact, they just make themselves look like fools when they do that!

human nature, hate and fear what is diffrent and that wich you do not understand

goth is the new prep

Here Here FelixFelix for all you said and yes Devine Felix can sum things up wonderfully well

VITS99 glad your not a HOMO that sir si the only word I find offensive about my kind
Many Men now dress fashionably now as women seem to like them being neat it has nothing to do with homo sexuality it has everything to do with the male of the species learning what the female wants to see..
these men are often called Metro sexual not due to them going both ways either they don't they are striaght guys that knows us HOMO's attract women due to neatness of attire and personality big key being the personality......
If people are put off by personality that is a whole different ball of string.........

I find the word homo offensive, but it is a free country and I expect that behavior from the person who posted the word originally.

Yeah man.Metro sexuals are cool.They look gay but arent.

Let 'em stare. Maybe they'll learn something. And sometimes, a stare can be a good thing, when all that person is thinking is "good gods how can I ever look that cool".

I am not sure if it helps but, people point and stare maybe because people are afraid of what is different to themselves.....therefore they dub it as weird or strange.....myself and a friend of mine....politely but firmly found a solution to pointing and staring....point back or wave, usually this works, but....if it doesnt and it doesnt always, go over to the person or persons in question and politely yet firmly say to them, if you dont mind id prefer it if you didnt point and stare, if you wanted some fashion or lifestyle tips all you had to do was ask. This usually deters all because they are mortified they have been caught! hope this helps.

these people only stare and comment for attention and to put you in the submissive position. there's two ways to triumph over them. one was is to ignore it all and deprive them of the attention. the other way is to go over there and kick their ass (physically or verbally) and show those bastards who the bitch REALLY is. >:-)

Well it seems in order not to offend lolita thinks I offended anyways. The word I wanted to stray away from the use of was faggot, which in the English language means group of sticks, that is why they call cigarettes cancer sticks fags.

I am not a faggot, I say, I am worse I am an individual."

It is agreed there is a stigma on homosexuality, there is no way I can talk about alternative sexual practices without drawing negative responses. I thought it was of value to the topic, that it is the individuality whcih is the thing the laughing hyena's are point their fingers at, and sexuality is the biggest expression of individualism. So I am sorry if I hurt anybody.

Who wants to reverse the game on the laughing hyenas? Who wants to be someone who takes the initiative in pointing fingers because they think we will make fun of them first? Individuals don't make fun of other people even if they have no individuality, we just feel sorry for their lack of soul and ask them what time it, and make them feel safe and secure in their own skin.

You Offended me sir she was offended for my sake
as she is both my friend and my sister...Would you have her be no less then that..
Still comes down to personalities and not knowing which end seems to be up

i say they point and whisper and stuff b/c you are diffrent and so there going to talk but whos to say there in the wrong and not you

sorry man, last night they played pin the tail on the donkey with me at a beach party on the east river, so I was like OK, now the shirt comes off

I didn't have to say a word, the body of work did all the talking

I remember there was like 5 short girls right behind me, one of them said oh he is gay right as I turned and said "where is she?" to my friend.

They failed miserable to make me feel insecure.

See I am the type of person to ask what the hell are you looking at never seen a human before. and i like to freak ppl out. But its true you will never see these ppl again. but most ppl do it cuz they don't understand y anyone would do certain things. but y should we have to blend with other ppl just to not get noticed. you are who you are and how you look or who you are with is there own person. growing up i used to dress a certain way how i liked and ppl would stare or say how come some body go out of the house like that. I used to tell them have you looked in the mirror oh my god you have a zit, run and hide. please get over your self. be your self and screw everyone who does not like you for you. they are not worth it.

it is not just backing away, or pointing fingers, boy you shuld here the stories of last night i didn't tell, I ws cut in line really badly, this guy says just as I pull up to the hot dog stand on the beach party thing, and he says my girlfriend was on ine before you, nd I lookback and she is like 12 feet away moving quickly to get there, but I was like OK, be my guest, the hotdog slegilr says what do you want and I said, srve them first they say she was here before me, but I didn't move and the guy puts his arm out to keep me away from her like I have some disease, and the girl asks for a turkey burger, and the hotdog girl says yeah the tryptophan makes you sleepy, the girl laughed, her name was erica, and she looked at me with big sheep eyes as I told her about how the tryptophan gets converted into seratonin which is like a brain chemical equivalent to dopamine. She was like Dopamine? and she smiled, her boyfriends face was about to explode. Of course I was too charming for the hotdog girl so I wait wait wait, and then these two girls come up to the stand, and they don't even stand where the line is and they get served before me. So I say no, I ws here first, serve me, and she ignores me, so I speak with my gym teacher of voice, and demand to be served because I was already cut and insulted pretty badly.

The girl up above who says what are you staring at, well she is right, one of the most important lessons in life is to defend yourself, and stand up to them. If you don't then, it just snowballs. I made a stand and I made it clear, very clear that I am human too.

The hot dog girl said you know you shouldn't scream at the person who seves you food, and I was like you are absolutely right, but you weren't serving me food.

Then what was the other incident, hmmm, well I don't ant to tire your eyes out. bye

if you actually think about it and look everyone stares at everyone...just because you get looked at more noticably dont mean that they think of you differently...but even so the way i see it...we are different...we are vampires, and other powerful beings so we are different in a more superior form...i like to think of the stares as stares of jealousy and submission...if you let the stares bother you then its gonna show and people will notice that them staring at you bothers you...so in turn they are gonna do whatever it takes to make you angry and uncomfortable...just dont let them bother you...i was once in the united states army and when i was in uniform people stared at me as if i was a freak...but i know im my mind they respected that uniform...just think of it that way....people stare because people like analizing things...just dont give them any emotions for them to analize...

Very good points vamplastat, I have seen that happen with ppl in the military in uniform. Like when I see them I wave, same thing with police officers and fireman. It is a sign of respect because they are there to aid in our need in some way or another.

Just ignore the starers and say to yourself, Oooo another jealous one. *smiles*

lusciousbbygrl34 is so right LOL here here Bows deeply to sense made

Maybe people stare at you because they think you look so hot they just want to enjoy your beauty as long as they can....


naaah.... that couldn't be it. never mind.

b.t.w.... I'm an old homo fag, but those of you who don't wear the label really should be careful about how you toss it around. I really don't mind any of the words per se, but it all depends on source and context. Actually I haven't seen anything on this list of messages that bothered me... at least as far as that goes.

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