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Through my conversations with various people I've noticed a pattern. I am a pyro, a masochist, I am a warrior at heart, and I have other various fetishes and interests that are outside the "norm." It seems to me that these interests go hand in hand. Are these things maybe part of what draws us to the darker things? Perhaps it is because we are drawn that way that we have these interests? or both? What are your thoughts on this?

Well the saying birds of a feather flock together comes to mind. I think there are various types of people who are attracted to the dark but yes I do believe that there is a connection between us all not so much for the things that we do but for the way that we feel about them and how open we are to things that are different

When we fell like we don't fit into mainstream society, we find sub-cultures to embrace us. If we were not here, we would be somewhere that helps us find our basic need of acceptance.

For me most of my friends are into BDSM... I have a fetish for it.. and I see like all my relationships have always me being the submissive devoted yes ma'am atittude...~NFA

NFA.. ditto.

I have thought about this for some time in the past.

Many of my friends have had some tough stuff handed to them that has pushed them away from the mainstream. I have become "goth" simply because I cannot accept the values of the mainstream. That and I think too far out of the box sometimes.

On the other hand, I've noticed that there are different kinds of "gothness". I haven't the slightest idea what connects them all, but it may have something to do with the desire to reach beyong the norms. Not so much into BDSM, blood, night creatures, etc., just simply reaching beyond the norm.

I suppose since we're all here on this site, it means that we have some common interests, but not necessarily all. There are some folks on this site that are into things that I just don't understand or that scare the crap out of me.

I'm not a pyro or a masochist, but I am a warrior at heart. BDSM just doesn't do it for me and while I am attracted to the darkness, I am more of a light and fluffy person deep down.

As Niskuny said, there are certainly common themes that draw us all togethr in the "dark" communtity.

For myself it's a venue to be different from the mainstream, to be able to freely express thoughts that those outside the community would scoff at. I think most share an attraction to the darkness, a fascination with vampires and other such beings. While some may be into BDSM, Pyromania, bloodletting, etc, I don't think those are as commonly shared as the other elements I mentioned.

I suppose it depends on waht you consider dark things as well. I do not see my being a vampire as dark.. nor is my intrest in wicca or my love of D/s .. why do people feel the need to make these things dark as if they must be hidden or that they are not normal ... if you enjoy something.. and assumeing your not forceing those around you into anyhting.. what harm is there.. why must it be a dark thing?

All of us want to belong somewhere,at some point in our existence.To feel some sort of brotherhood or kinship is a natural instinct.

something isn't necissarilly dark just because it is uncommon. people search for acceptance for who they are and others ike themselves, it is a basic survival need to be accepted.

I do believe that we are all bound to fit into a category at one point in our lives. But, I do not feel that all the things like vampires and wicca studies or other types of interests are necessarly a "dark" thing.

i agree with Ghandi.

No, it has nothing to do with the topic, but I figured I'd let it be known.

Does my post still count?

Ahem... sorry... to the point of the original post:

Yes, birds of a feather applies, however there's also the matter of suggestiblity.

You might not be into a certain lifestyle or fetish, but then you discover people you want to be around are so you give it a try, you enjoy it, or even pretend to enjoy it to keep their company, then it becomes a part of you.

That happens too. Hence your mom always warned you to choose your friends wisely.

Just to clarify, when I say dark I do not mean bad. I believe that there needs to be a certain balance of dark and light, I also believe that this balance is different for each person. Light has just as much potential for being bad as dark. The things I mentioned fall more into the "dark" then the "light" to me.

i hate labels but am also a masochist and drawn to certain things but that doesnt necessarily mean that i am dark either~not sure if this answers the question but its my opinion

I am definitely drawn to the darkness, not into S& M, and things like that, but likes to view it. I am more of a watcher than an active participant. I have many friends on this site, and there is such a variety of differences! We all have a least 1 common bond here, and it makes for a very interesting mix! I think that there is definitely a connection between interests.

I think it has partly to do with the fact that we have all felt isolated so we are extremely accepting which creates a comfortable environment for those sub groups. Also it has to do with curiousity. I read about all these things that people do and then I wonder what it's like. Sometimes, I come away and say, lordy no. Sometimes I get addicted to it. I do have to admit that I probably wouldn't have tried any of the stuff I tried if I wasn't on VR.

I'll simply add my name to the list of those that feel some common interests in the dark or the occult or the mystical helped bring us here without feeling like I have to burn things or hurt myself :)

It's definitely true. Who you have relations with, will always affect how you act, or who you become. I know I've changed quite a bit because of the friends I have on this site alone. I've become way more open with others and myself. Not only with sexuality but also with everything in general. I'm not as much of a recluse as I used to be.

We have a connection with that which resonates with us. Like attracts like in the unseen world as well as the physical world. Those of us who are drawn to darker things probably have past experiences with it and in turn have darkness within them to start. More than the average person at least.

With this, it naturally stands that certain people are drawn to dark and certain are drawn to light. It's just the nature of how we are. Our energy is attracted to and meshes with what it is made of primarily.

Or maybe the "normals" aren't honest about their dark sides. For as long as men have drawn breath, there has been an interest in the darker side of things. I just don't find it unusual. We're just a bit more vocal here.

Great minds think alike.

We all are attracted to the dark in a literal and figurative sense. Many of us are at least interested in the suprernatural and otherkin. Some of use magick users and are otherkin.

Pardon me... but I'm pretty sure that it's the same connection as this, for example: She likes Pop, she's a prep. Honestly... everyone has that dark side to them no matter what, the real connection is with the individual and the "darkness"

It Is Like Asking What Makes You...You,
We Who Are On Sites Like This Feel At Home With things of a darker nature, It may be A curiosity for some Or a life style for others.
Some It is a need to feel they wont be judged for having diffrent taste than others.
Fact is most of us have those tendencys But wont admit to them.