The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Our strength and our weakness is life. We depend upon the vital force, for lacking enough of it ourselves, we are forced to glean it from others.

In this we are self-serving and self-preserving, though good and evil cannot be applied to our state. We know what we need, and we know we must take it, sometimes to the detriment of others. This is an unavoidable fact of reality.

We are predators at heart, even though we are physically indistinguishable from our prey. The spirit within us sets us apart. Our perceptions, our passions, and our powers make us strangers among ordinary men. Even if we refuse to act upon our more destructive impulses, we keenly feel the difference between us and those who do not share what we are. No matter how hard we try to blend in, we can never truly belong.

This is a blessing and a curse. The lives we live are fuller and more dynamic than anything most others might imagine. The levels of reality we are privy to make the world a profound and wondrous place. Yet there are few who can share our insights. Thus, we tend to be solitary, feeding alone, rarely interacting with those who would not and could not understand. Our utter separateness drives us to seek out companionship among our own kind for it is here only that we find true acceptance and understanding.

We may find friends and allies among the Awakened, but they can never truly understand what we are and what that means within the context of so many different lives. There are some experiences they can neither accept nor share, and thus there is always something lacking when in their company.

Thus we should always treasure those who are of our nature. They are our companions throughout the many, many long years. Time and again, we will find one another, for the bonds between us are never broken or worn thin.

We can love and hate one another with great passion, yet we are forever loyal to our own.

So very true m'Lord. Our lifestyles are forever lonely regardless of the friends we meet here. I guess it is more due to the feeling of indifferent that mosy of us have. Our lifestyle is a curse to some and a blessing to others. I have accepted my self and what I am. I am one of the fallen and damned to always feel alone. I can strive knowing this and I can feed acceptingly to it. May we never forget why we feed like we do and not let human thoughts of wrongness take us away from what we need to survive.

There are many things in life that cannot be explained. For instence, I can write poetry and express myself on paper but when it comes to expressing them to another loved one I cant do it. Life is lonley and full of despare. But when you find the right person it should matter if she if mortal or imortal. You will love that person and she will love back. Pure and genuin hearts are very hard to come by. The wonderers in this world are often left alone because they choose to be. But the ones who open themselves up are truely the ones who are trying with best efforts to be genuin. Love and True Love are two completly different things, ie....I have agape love for KillerGirl. Agape=family love. I have never really felt True love, but I once heard a story that was about a husband and wife. See the wife needed a heart transplant and it just so happened that the husband had her same blood type. He willingly sacraficed his life for his One True Loves life. On his death bed he said "I happy to do it for my wife." Thats True love to me! True Love will find those who are not looking for it!

At first I felt I found the one whow as to shelter me from the storm. Alas, this individual was more the storm incarnate than the one meant to be with me in this lifetime.

After cruel comments, lack of hardwork and the integrity I found to be most important, I let him go. Sadly the first female I felt a connection with is also long gone, having been used more as transport than as real companionship.

To find someone in the same state as you or I, is truly a masterpiece unfinished and a treasure to be carried on with kid gloves. Even if you are inclined to find every relationship as so, it's best to step back once and a while and see if indeed, it's worthy of being continued.

If he was truly out there, some would say; I would have found him already. Even the one I am with now seems horribly restless, and wants to go and do good, but in the end I find myself lacking when it comes to the spaces inbetween. Loving-- yes. Playful-- moreso. However when it comes to material posessions, food and shelter, I find myself being the one with the cane and top hat, and he with the 'welcome home' stare.

There are others surely, however I've never been one too great at making a lover leave on their own. It wittles down till both of us are breaking apart, crumbling, and making a fool of ourselves even in front of neutral company.

It's important yes, but sadly not for me.

My mother feels strongly to add her opinion here and thus I will let her do so under me. Her opinion:
This is just my thoughs on this but I have traveled this path many times. And I have learned that when others gets near me then there's nothing but trouble and as long as I stay on my path by myself then I am content. There is so many people who think they can help with lifes problems but all they do is cause trouble. I personally think that if I could have my way I would always be alone in the dark on an island with nature. Nature is the only essence of life that truly understands me. I have always been the black sheep of my family even as of today. So there fore it is best for me not to exist. Thank you for letting me say this, I stay in my puddles of tears and even though there are days when I don't even have them I still travel down this road until I travel no more.

I can only speak for myself, but I know I never fit into anything and I still dont. I am finding more and more that I have nothing in common with anyone anymore. So I walk alone, and it is so sad to me. I know I am destined to be alone forever. That is something I never wanted..

so i believe thats true. very good wording of it. i dont think many could capture it so well in words

Very beautifully written

Beautiful...

...but aren't all lifestyles lonely at some point or other?

I don't follow the vampiric life style yet I still feel lonely among crowds.

Everybody is different,everybody can be in a group,everybody can feel part of a group and everybody can feel lonely in a group whatever they are and whatever life style they follow.

Sometimes my loneliness is a choice sometimes it's a curse.

I can get along with 1000 people but at the end am like them yet very different from them,but the reason of my feeling is still mysterious.

your never alone at any time of your life......the devil's alwayz by your side >:)

I totally agree with this. I have went through my awakining about 3 years ago. Ever sence then I have felt alone in the world with no one who truly understands what I have gone through. I am yet to meet another person like me. I live in a place where vampirizim is never heard of, and these things stay hidden. This is all about to change though, I have finaly met mty mate on the rave, and I will be with him soon, no longer to live in secrets.

i agree very nicely written :-)

Wonderful post. I find myself solitary most of the time, and since most people would just mock and gawk if I ever told them my secret, I walk a dark road alone.

Very nice thread my dear..
It is a lonely road in any form and as stated any path choosen can be a lonely one..

Even though I have my Coven, many friends who are of the same path. It is still very hard for me to feel not alone as I may be in a very big crowd of the universe, but I still feel small and alone. Determination to be whole is my goal in this life. Thank you for your thread and your hard work that went into it .~NFA

your welcome

great post i agree with most of it although if we have eachother we are not alone nore can we ever be alone i came into this not really knowing what was going to happen i must say there have been shitty things and there have been great things but all in all i still have my family and i wouldnt trade it for anything in the world we all have bonds and relationships like no other or something that no human could ever have because they do not see nore belive and those that do see, seek this for all the wrong reasons instead of the right i love my family liek any other family i do not get along with some but they are still family so to me i am not alone as long as i have my owm kind and i dotn need the uman race to make me feel more at "home " when they dont know what home is to me

just my thoughts

Very good thread, and sadly all you have is very true.

I am a solitary by nature and by choice.

We are born alone, live alone, and die alone. To say otherwise is to lie to oneself - that is a personal theory by the way.

oops... all you have SAID is very true... that cofee I just had doesn`t seem to be working :(

very well said my dear it is very true we are alone in all things no matter how many we surround ourselves with.

Yes it is a lonely path but so are all lifestyles no matter who or what you are. Life is what you make it. There is no other way around it. Yes part will be lonely no matter what you do but the other parts do not have to be. You and only you can make that decision. If you make the wrong decision then you need to be smart enough to know it is the wrong decision and also even smarter to fix it.
Even poeple with the most happy fulfilled lives are lonely at some point.
Always live like you were dying, for it may be your last.

we live and die alone

So very alone...

It shouldn't be lonely for anyone but at the very same time, I hear so many of you say its lonely & its only because most of you like it to remain lonely. if not-> what have you done to change things?

Loneliness is either accepted and embraced or feared and ignored.

True... so true.

live life happy die sad or live sad die happy or live happy die happy or live sad die sad all there is to say

Sometimes at night, a dark spirit comes and sits near me... just stays there... and I don`t feel lonely anymore... Tha Path I chose is a path of pain and suffering; my thoughts can never be comunicated to others because it will be a waste; they can only hurt me. I don7t know where I come from but I know that the end of the road is full of surprises... I have secrets that I cannot share not even with my best friend... I have dreams that tell me the truth about what`s gonna happen and in all of them I die... or I kill... My path... oh, dear Lord Of Darkness!... your home is too good for me... When the time will come, a new Hell will rise and then I`ll know that I`m home... at the end of the path.

I am a predator at heart, who isnt. But I do show alot of calm and mercy. But I do show malece to those who have hurt someone near and dear to me.

Very well written

very well written ..and wonderous since its spoken from the heart and experience..although i do believe in most of what you have presented, i dont entirely think its true.
we are drawn to like forces, never to fully be alone but always seperated. one just has to realise when a like minded soul has been drawn to us (or we drawn to them) for its in the nature of our distinct uniqueness that calls out to our same kind.

It's really hard to find someone who fits within your view of the world and you theirs. BUT..it does not mean it's impossible. I've been lucky enough to find a few people who understand me, put up with my good and bad sides, and are able to handle everything that I throw at them, and vice versa.

Although I do think there are moments, even with them in my life, that I walk alone and feel lonely. It happens to everyone more than once in a lifetime.

I have always felt alone, even in large groups of people. Many say that I have no business speaking of such "because of my age" and because "I have my whole life ahead of me." Maybe so, but I know how I feel. There was only one person who could bring me out of my desolate state, and that person is no longer a major part of my life.


This was a very beautifuly written post. Thank you for letting me ramble.

I loved that. It was very deep and very true.

In a crowd but always alone

I would like to see more peoples opinions on this subject so I am giving it a shameless bump.

We're not alone, although, i can see how being a predator makes us feel this way, much like lions we're either pack hunters or Stalkers hiding amongst the high grass. So i suppose by nature we've had to adapt to the lifestyle presented to us

the most powerfull instinct is self preservatin, followed by hunger, than sex.

these words made me see things in another light thank you my sister

So my point is this, Why hide your beliefs from teaching others? Yes there are gonna be people who come and test your faith and run you down, but if you let them run you over with your beliefs and you bow down to them they were never your bliefs or teachings in the first place.
Keep strong my friends and never give up on who you are and what you are becoming cos I know it took along time to get here.~NFA

There are many of us that are misunderstood that cannot be defined that can share this very same feeling.
Everyone knows lonliness and pain here.
Instead of one thinking of losing a love, rather... think everyone has a path and a heart they must follow. Enjoy those that surround you and are with you for time. Do not hate them if they choose to move on. Another will come.

This is a very sad but true fact amongst those awakened ones.. because even if you do find another who is of the same kind, the dark gift is different to all of us. So most of us tend to just linger in the shadows of loneliness and silence, keeping to ourselves our secrets since we dare not be in the scrutiny of those who lack understanding..

i say embrace everyone

I do not think life is our weakness nor our strength, I do think we ourself are our own strength and majorly our weakness, reason why I believe we as humans should all help each other out, of course humans I do not know about years ago but what I have seen in my time they are all me 1st me 2nd me 3rd, the rest of the humans can die for all one person cares.

I think that by attaching yourself to someone you aren't making your life any better. Solitude, however miserable it may become, in the end becomes a comfort. I may know lots of people, but I find that I feel much safer alone even if I do hate it.

Ryu Said:

"Our strength and our weakness is life. We depend upon the vital force, for lacking enough of it ourselves, we are forced to glean it from others.

In this we are self-serving and self-preserving, though good and evil cannot be applied to our state. We know what we need, and we know we must take it, sometimes to the detriment of others. This is an unavoidable fact of reality.

We are predators at heart, even though we are physically indistinguishable from our prey. The spirit within us sets us apart. Our perceptions, our passions, and our powers make us strangers among ordinary men. Even if we refuse to act upon our more destructive impulses, we keenly feel the difference between us and those who do not share what we are. No matter how hard we try to blend in, we can never truly belong.

This is a blessing and a curse. The lives we live are fuller and more dynamic than anything most others might imagine. The levels of reality we are privy to make the world a profound and wondrous place. Yet there are few who can share our insights. Thus, we tend to be solitary, feeding alone, rarely interacting with those who would not and could not understand. Our utter separateness drives us to seek out companionship among our own kind for it is here only that we find true acceptance and understanding.

We may find friends and allies among the Awakened, but they can never truly understand what we are and what that means within the context of so many different lives. There are some experiences they can neither accept nor share, and thus there is always something lacking when in their company.

Thus we should always treasure those who are of our nature. They are our companions throughout the many, many long years. Time and again, we will find one another, for the bonds between us are never broken or worn thin.

We can love and hate one another with great passion, yet we are forever loyal to our own."

So very true, my friend.

I wish humans and otherkin would feel the way most of we Nightkinde do.

who's to say that humans and "otherkin" don't?

I do know that no matter what path I seem to follow its always the lonely one. I am always the outcast in everything. I never fit into a normal situation. You know what it is like to see everyone being treated a certain way and you be treated differently. Thats my life.. My life consists of others getting invitations to things while I get to hear about it later on. My life consists of others getting help from where I work when things are rough and me being told I brought it all on myself. Gee, didnt know you could do that with an illness. My life is totally that of an outcast. My beliefs, the way I look, all of it. I am shunned from the rest of the world. That is why I make things up in my head that are happy. Its the only place I can be happy. I dont think I remember what happiness is anymore. A few people found out I was on this board, not from me, but laughed at it. I had a person that buys souls try and buy mine. I have people chanting certain things at me now. Its all so strange.. They are strange.. I wish I could find someone like me.. Well in a sense I have, all of you.. But it is still lonely and I didnt choose this either.. It was brought upon me..

What I see here is that all these paths we have followed. Has Brought us to one place. As all path start so must they end. As for us it has either ended or started here. So, We are not alone. We just can't see through the forest of choices we have. Sometimes you have to reach out into the forest, part the branches of lonelyness and go for it.

I for one play out everything in my mind before I do them. ( I have OCD.)

that is so true....and also deep...it takes the truly strong to stay on the path that destiny has given us.

Any Path can be lonely if taken alone.

But then again, we are never really alone are we? No Never!

I'm lonely. No matter what. Being lonely maybe be a sad experiance but sometimes is better that way, because you have a low chance of getting hurt. Though there's a difference between being lonely, and being alone.

Wow, I read this, and noticed how true it really is..
When you have a "secret" that you know your loved ones wont understand, it can be miserable, but when your with someone that you can share EVERYTHING with and not be scared to do so, it just feels much better.
But the problem is, finding that person.

in lonliness was when I encountered the life style of the vampire I was born a vamp but only when I was alone did I embrace it

Loneliness is present in every being but in some, those that dwell here, they have been practically forced to feel that way. ::shudders:: So much for the idea of embracing all even those who are different.

To be ostercized from all that surround you is unbearable, and that is why I am here.

Being what I am and taking the paths that I have in my life I have been alone for most of my life. I have stayed in touch with my family every now and then but I rarly talk to them because I know that all I will really do is harm them so I hide as best as I can. I have found a mate but there are things that I am still trying to adapt to with them. I will always be searching for the other part of my soul because of my young one because I am very protective of her and my mate. I know that path that I am walking and I know that there are other paths that I will have to walk or might even be forced to take. Being alone makes them easier to deal with but its hard because there are so many things to miss feeling. thne again this is just me and in a way we are all always alone

Lonliess is in allpeople ad being at oe pointor another, it has no bounderies, and no limits

even those that walk on the path never truely understand whats going on with you, so you may walk with some but you still walk it alone. Why do I say this?
there are things that we do they can't accept. thus you are forced to keep them to your self and there you find your self alone.

yes life is lonely I agree...our motives for relations change day to day and so comes and goes the people we choose to be around....sometimes we meet and go by a first glimpse and are kinda awe struck but a month down the road we think what did I ever see in this person...The right person could be the friend you talk too...the right relationship might be the one we pretend to be in with someone on the other end of the computer who knows for each it is different....very interesting post

I think you can accomplish more being alone, right? I don't know.

I think when your alone you can accomplish alot, but when your alone, theres some things that you just cant accomplish.
I guess it depends on what you want to accomplish in your life. Like, is it a family, or a career, or maybe both?
I think it just all depends on the person really.

I have been reading some of you saying no matter what you do you end alone and with no one relating to te lonely path, I would like to ask somethign that is not meant to be anwer but to only yourself's. Have you looked around to see if people really care or not about you? Have you stop to wonder if maybe you are the one who is pushing everyone away from you and thru the same mirror think you are the one who is been left aside?Things are normally not what they seem.

Firebender,
Excellent thought. I do think I push alot of people away from me because I am afraid of them becoming close. That hurts. I dont want these people to know how I feel about things, then on the other hand, there are those that dont even bother. Its sort of a catch 22 situtation. I have my close people that are with me but have I told them my thoughts, no, not really, some I have and they stand with me. Its those that shun away from you without knowing you that angers me and makes me feel more alone..