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I had to pose this question, When a family of gothic persona has children should it be right for or even legal for people or State officials to interfear with there lives because of the way they are? I have had friends whos lives we're happy and great and they we're vampiric. They never held gatherings when children we're around, and they all lead good lives. This was until a fed up, uber religious, neighbor called the child protective services on them and because of the way they dressed and the decor of the home(characteristics) The state actually began an investigation on my friends on account of them possibly being psycologicaly immature for children. I am furious! I just want opinions to help in the arguements that may help shed some light on this injustice. I don't think parents, single or not should have to deal with nosy people butting in and ruining lives. We are regular people too. We want the best for our Vamplings and i know most people don't push their beliefs on their children. I just think because i bring my little one to the park, and i have tattoos and piercings doesn't mean that other kids can't play with her. I have actually had mothers take their kids away from mine like she was diseased. I mean take a look at her on my pro. she don't know why people are like that. i do and it pisses me off. I mean i am not even that extreme. Have you had the same instances? Thank you with all respect my fellow brethern.-V.

I have dealt with it for um 4 yrs now,a lesbian gothed out bloodletting pierced and tattooed up chick with kids in the home,it has been pure hell and ya know what the sad part is,her family called them 5 times,5 investigations,and then look you in your face and say if you werent with my daughter,sister etc then we wouldnt have this problem,the Only reason they are still speaking through their grills is for one purpose..Children..I have forgiven but I will never let my guard down or forget ever and I am waiting until the day when it comes all the way around cause hunny people like that will always get what is rightly deserved one way or another.

This really angers me. As far as I'm concerned, if you have not seen actual evidence suggesting abuse or any other unfit environment for children, then they have absolutely no right to start an investigation. The way the parents dress is hardly a reason to rifle through their lives.

That's purely horrifying. I, luckily have only dealt with a few odd glances from folks. The fact that I wear black or have tattoos doesn't change the loving and protective feelings I have for my baby.

Thats completely messed up that they came in with no real proof other then they thought your friends weren't "normal". I dont see how the way you live life would effect the children unless you were pulling them into unsafe things without them knowing. From what you said, your friends didnt do anything out of the norm with their children around...people these days *shakes my head*

i agree norms will always debase and sterotype the sad part is we represent their own darkside which has been supressed by the molds of others

This is absolutely outrageous..give my condolences to your friend..I agree with the above posts..There should be no reason to take a child out of the home or investigate...Hell i was watching this one show..wife swap or some shit like that and one of the families were covered with tattoos and there house had lots of dark decoration..hell they even had a pimped out herse!!! but you could tell..it was very evident that they loved and cared for there children. This really sux..What about the so called"chrisitans" who believe in "spare the rod and spoil the child" those people beat the hell out of their kids and half the time it is just out of anger..spanking is one thing but alot of people are child molestors or abusers and they look"normal" alot of time no one could even tell.. Looks has nothing to do with caring for a child..If your house is clean and you aren't actually abusing the children they should be left alone...i am so upset that that has happend to your friend.

You're going to find that when something or someone doesn't go along with "mainstream society" there will be altercations,because of the fact it messes with the so called "norm"

They fear anything besides their beliefs they should keep themselves occupied by the bibles they thump or dictating their own lives, If the parents dressed inappropriate than yes thats a reason to investigate, but just because they dress different is no reason, that should be illegal unless they have solid evidence.

YEs this is wrong but t does happen... I have a friend who just got her new born baby taken from her... her own parents reported her

the unfortunate thing is that social services need no other reason than THEY see, to start an investigation, its sad but its true, and i have seen children be abused and social services does nothing. even though there is evidence. so it really all depends on the social worker and what they think is right or wrong.

I think its wrong but its the government,

greetings everyone,,,
i am actually dealin with this "prob" now..my mom has somone found away to intervine with my life b.c of my religions and my sexualk desires..and i feel its rong!

How is the way you live your life messing with your kids? I mean ya i could see if you were like smokin' dope or something with them in the room..but to just have a different way of life..but still keep them safe. This makes me shake my head at people these days.

My cousin and I have both had experiences with DHS because we weren't "normal". Our house(was a duplex I lived in one side, she in the other) was decorated how we wanted it for the exception of the kids' rooms. Her mother reported us to DHS because I told her off. For some reason after DHS paid a visit, all charges were dropped. But I wouldn't know why. Other than they found the charges were unsubstaniated(sp?)

The DHS here has a habit though of showing up on bulls**t charges anyway. Its all about the money is what I came up with.

DHS has to come investigate if they think something is wrong. Maybe it was put in their ear of something more then just how the place was decorated? Im not standing up for them..but its the truth..they gotta do it. But for people to call them on you for stupid stuff like that..thats what disgusts me.

I find a comforting fact to all this,when they do see it is unfounded you can in turn press charges against this person for slander and something can be dun especially if it is unfounded as I said been there live that.

sadly there is to many like that, and because of them well the ones that really abuse, hurt their kids can sleep at night cause they wear the right lcothing and the perfect hair style.
I decided to stop wearing black and black lipstick along with black nial polish cause I got 3 kids and poeple were starting to make trouble, also when I got my lip perice I had to deal with my psychaitrist (I am bipoliar and she dont el tme go, have to chekc in every 3 month) And it sucks cause I have to wait till my kids are all over 18 to be me.
So sadly I dont know any thricks...but will watch to know if you have any.

Vanessa, that is truly awful & I really sympathize with you're friend...It's disgusting infact.

I've never heard of anything like that happening here in England, most people were I live have lots of tattos, nose piercings & stuff & only the older people seem to look at them in distaste...

I hope it all works out with you're friends as that is truly unfair to have you're ability as a parent judged by how you look.

If anyone ever judged my parenting skills because of my lifestyle, I'd tell them to fuck off. & thats putting it nicely.

That is horrible, I cannot believe CPS would do that. Who are they to decide the norm? If the children are mentally and otherwise healthy then who are they to nose around where they arent wanted. Why dont they focus their attention where it is actually needed. Children that ARE being abused and mentally unhealthy because of their environments.

This is the kind of thing that really pisses me off about the country I live in. "Only" in the US can you have a child taken away for the way you dress. How people bring up their kids is of no business of others, unless that child is being abused or not taken care of.

If I had a kid and someone called DHS on me for the way I dress or the way I live would piss me off. I love kids so my child would have a loving safe home. Just because I like darker things wouldn't make me an unfit father.

In my opinion that is just revolting.. child services need to be revamped investigating a parents religion? Thats just wrong, if the children are well adjusted and happy then there is nothing wrong. The parents obviously don't include their children so whats the damn problem? Its a damn joke! And you can lay bets while they are busy examining your friends lifestyle some poor child is getting molested or beaten to death... a child that could have been saved.. makes me sick to be honest! Just society pushing their christian values upon us again!

I have no children, but i definitely know what you are talking about. I take my nose ring out, skip the black nail polish, and evil tshirts before i go to the dentist, dr., or deal with anyone official. the prejudices ARE there. And even if i look that way, that doesn't mean Shit. I am a decent person, with high morals, enviromentally active, love my mom more then anything, and will do anything for people i care about. i HATE the way i am looked at, when i am being myself.

yes this is wrong as far as i believe if there was no abuse involved they should've been left alone

this sort of thing gets me really mad. i find it hard to believe that this still happens in a so called enlightened society. it is a violation of human rights, and the perpetrators should be prosecuted - but they rarely are, because they have political power. what you have to realize is, most people consider themselves normal, but in reality, 90% of the worlds population is made up of retarded fuckwits. i am fortunate in that the town where i live is quite tolerant of alternative lifestyles, and the place i work has an enlightened attitude to diversity. i have known many people that are not so fortunate, and i have come up against a lot of intolerance and ignorance in the past.

That' s really unfortunate and stupid.

But many people that have been brought up with a christian background fear anything that they don't understand or that contradicts they're established beliefs.

it's retared know one should tell you how to rise your children unless there in like danger or something of that nature

if the child is raised in a loving enviroment and is in no danger I see no reason why ANYONE should say anything or step in.

i dont believe it is anyones responsibilty to tell someone how they raise their children. if the children r healthy and being looked after ppl should but out.

It is an interesting topic and one that the media has used for ratings. In the show Spouse swap they traded a mom who was uber Goth for one that was very religious.

Ironically the religious home was less tolerant and more judgemental than the Goth home. YET the Goth family was also judgemental in its own way.

I have yet to find the perfect family. The one where nothing goes wrong. Still some would say it's due to religion that these things happen. I think it is a narrow mind that must see these things as black and white.

While I do not openly share many things about myself, I do not hide them either. I prefer that people get to know me, and then explain my views in discussion.

One on one, people are more understanding. Even if they need lots of adjustment time to get that way.

I'm very sorry to hear about your friend's problems. I hope all gets sorted out.

I'm not sure that it's up to DHS to choose which cases they investigate; I believe if something is reported then they must investigate.

Unfortunately, bitching and moaning doesn't do anything but create more bitching and moaning about a problem that should have been eradicated a long time ago. We all know we're supposed to have religious freedom, but let's be honest: the USA was founded on Christian ideals and is still a largely dominant Christian society. We, of the non-Christian persuasion, are the minority and, based upon that, will continue to be persecuted until we do something to force a change. Perhaps this change will never come around and we'll just have to accept this. The only thing we can do until then is love our children and behave above suspicion, knowing we'll always be under watch.

I wish I could say it shocked me that people are so blindly hateful. I've noticed it though, when i'm in all black walking through, say, wal-mart people part like the red sea, I enjoy it but if people treated my kids like some walking circus i'd most certainly be offended, the state has no business judging your parenting skills based on your beliefs, I believe the constitution says something about seperation of church and state, no matter what those beliefs may be...

I hate to say that things like this happen, but I know first hand that they do. I had someone call child protective services on me because they claimed I was seriously depressed and the situation was unsafe for my children. I'm not depressed, not in the least, but I do wear a lot of black (SO WHAT????), and I keep to myself. That doesn't make me suicidal, or homicidal. It just makes me, me!

I agree completely. My kids are normal, healthy, happy kids. Some of their friends from school (who have "normal" parents) are depressed and even suicidal. I can't fathom that a 5 year old (my youngest son's friend) could be depressed. What the hell is wrong with that poor kid's parents??? And yet, they think I need help or that my kids need to be taken away?

the present government over here is trying to foster a society that tolerates difference, so things are improving. all the same, there are still the odd incidences where the children of some of my goth friends are getting persecuted by narrow minded teachers. that's what bugs me - the teachers of our young are amongst the least enlightened members of society. its in the schools where we must start to change attitudes. maybe it's time the educational establishment was purged of ignorence.

It doesn't seem to matter what you do or how you are if you love your kids and are good to them it seems that child services thinks there has to be something wrong with you. My brother called child services because his neighbor was beating her kid so badly that the boy kept running away so when they came to investigate they said the house was clean and the kid never said he was being beaten. A little while later the 12 year old boy killed himself cause no one would help him.

This pisses me off, my fiance has two little kids that I love to death, and to think of someone saying that your lifestyle makes you an unfit parent because it's harmful to the child....what about all the crack heads with 5 or 6 kids? what about my friend who was raped by her stepdad? Where was child services then? There are way worse parents out there, but because they lead "normal" lives, they aren't subject to this shit!

Well no it is not right for the state to come in and taake over but believe me it happens i have seen it not by me but by ppl i know

Let me state that I am a social worker. But, I do not work at children's services, I am an independent practioner.

There are federal and state mandates that when calls come in, if they fit criteria, they MUST be investigated---every time the call comes in. There has been much blame made about social service workers "coming into the home" being "nosey"...etc. They are doing their job.

The real problem is the people who CALL when there is no real issue other than their own distaste or fear of alternative lifestyles.

Now, I will say that there are good social workers and bad ones........just as in any other profession. The good ones will substantiate based on neglect, physical and sexual abuse. The bad ones, well, sometimes they do it for the wrong reasons.

But over all, considering the number of kids out there who are being abused or neglected, I think social services does the best they can with what they have.

i understand y they are doing it bc my faimly went through something similar with chiliren sirvisus but i deffinalty don't agree with it, also, if it's concidered a religious lifestyle and not just a lifestyle then they can't do anything about the family's situation unless there's abuse going on, but if it's a lifestyle they can take the children away...i don't understand it...

you know i hate people that want to shun you because you wish to be different. I think it is really shitty that even child protective services even looked into a case like that. They always seem like they investigate the people that don't need to be while other people that are beating their kids get away with it. I also think that a parent shouldn't make their kids a certain way and that they should let their children choose. Nosy neighbors should be slapped for stupidness such as that.

That shows right their that the government has to much right over its people...When a nutcase can call on a family because of how they look or how they live their lives...Now it is a diffrent story if the family was keeping the kid locked up and not letting it go outside if it wanted to...Even parents dont have the right to tell a child that they like could only go out at night or something like that because peoples lifestyles are their own choice...Just like it should be every kids or teens right to choose their own religion without the parent telling them that they have to do something that they dont want to do when it is not hurting anyone...

I reread what i said and it may have not come out right...Basically what i meant was if their kid wanted to go outside and play and the parents dosent like going out in the daytime then that is not right to the kid...The parents should have realized this before they had the kids...

It's so annoying that a person can't be who he/she is. When you're not one of the grey sheep in the herd, you get bothered from every side. Just looking a bit different from your every day nine to five neighbours. It really gets my blood boiling.

Ok, by having kids you do have to keep in mind that you have to raise your kid with the ability to create their own persona. and if it means that the parents should take their kids to the playground, so be it. Who knows those kids grow up to be the new generation of VR members ;-)

i had a friend that was wiican and the dept' of childrens services stayed on them because of a religion they didn't understand. they were very loving to their kids and the kids were as normal as any kids get. they moved for the 4th time last year.

I wish we could get people to understand that just cuase our lifestlye does not fit there life that they can take away our children

If the child is safe and healthy and happy, then their lifestyle should be no one else's business.

IT's more bureaucratic bullsh*t! It's the old story of Mrs. Kravitz on Bewitched. You're always going to have to go up against the conformists. They'r efake, they need attention drawn to them, they want the world to see their crusade. I know my cousin is one. But a little peek into their closet might really turn those a**holes to look somewhere else for their pleasure (at other people's pain). Pray for them.

because of the cruel world out there is the reason why i try to dress how others would like to see me. I know you should be yourself and be how you feel most comfortable , but i am very self consious about what people think of me. Having 2 young boys myself I have choose to be like this for their sakes of not being bullied at school etc. Before i became a mother i did dress all in black goth etc because that was right to me and i didn't have anyone else to worry about but myself.
We all have choices of how we deal with these idiots who don't like 'difference' and i have choose purely to be different within myself for the protection of my beautiful boys.

Here's the thing that really gets me about topics such as this. It's not the people who dress or have 'abnormal' beliefs that you have to "watch out for" anymore. It's the suits and the "perfect" neighbors that are the ones you need to worry about. As long as a child is not being abused in anyway- the government as well as others need to stay out of it. As long as a childs safety is not being compromised- as long as they are happy and healthy, no one has any right interfering. Thats like going to a Church, and pulling all the children out and locking up their parents.

i dont have any kids but this is truely a travesty.the kind of people who do these things are the kind of people who try to push there wants and deficientcies in there own life on thier kids. you are acting without the kids around .you are an adult and can make your own choices.this is a healthy atmosphere to grow up in .my parents werent saints but they let me make my own choices.these parents descriminating against your kids because of your lifestyle are creating narrow minded feeble children who will not be able to truely flourish in society.diversity is the most beautiful thing about our country and people who grow up without it will just continue the trend.my mother being the beautiful viverent woman that she is got her first tattoo at 51 years old and not a little one it took 3 and a half hours if people raise well rounded kids they can also in the future learn from thier kids.i think my mother stays bright and vivrent partially because of me and we still learn things from eachother bolth about ourselves and about people in general.those who raise close minded children will stay the same and not adapt to the passing of the time.evolution isnt close minded.

I can understand how angry you are, it really is upsetting, i think it has to do with awareness and education and the lack there of, and also narrow mindedness. But, if child services receive a phone they MUST check it out, now if they declare them unfit because of lifestyle decisions and beliefs when it does not put their children in danger then that is another matter all together and should be petitioned against, also make the media aware and lawyer up.
But, in a way, i wish there were more people like that neighbour, not in the calling because they don't accept the lifestyle but looking out for the kids. If there were more people like that then maybe there wouldn't be so much child abuse, for people to speak up even if they are unsure is a good thing, if there is a problem then it would be found if not then fine.

And this seems like an American thing, i know gothic families over here who have kids and they are not persecuted or picked out because of it. Or am i wrong?

i have had similar issues when taking my 2 sons to the park, zoo, even mcdonald's. pretty ridiculus if u ask me. it's not like my tattoos/ piercing are contagious or something. u should have seen the responses i got when my son, who @ the time was 5 and in kindergarten, came home and asked for a mohawk. my thought was "its just hair. if he doesn't like it, it will grow back. right?" so we went to the barber shop and got it cut. u would have thought i had let him get a tattoo w/ the way people reacted. most people thought it was cute but narrow minded people automatically assumed he was a bad kid. couldn't be farther from the truth. he now is in 5th grade, has had straight a's since k, and even skipped from 3rd to 4th in the middle of the school b/c his teachers have been smart enough to realize that its not how he looks that matters but that he needed the challenge of moving up. they even wanted to skip him again but he didn't want to this time. all i can say is that i think narrow minded people need to focus more on themselves instead of trying to make everyone else conform to their idea of how things should be.

"Thats like going to a Church, and pulling all the children out and locking up their parents."

I think that person made a really good point there.

Good lord if my son was playing with the stuff in my bedroom then there might be a problem!! But not just my simply being a vamp!

I put in 500 hours volunteering at his school last year... I didn't hear anyone complaining as a matter of fact they all complimented me on how lucky my son was to have me... Gee I wonder.... would that have changed if they knew what was in my toy box? Why should that matter? What does a person's personal life and what they do behind closed doors matter? I don't involve my son in my "Adult" life it's kept very separate... I can't tell you how many "normal" people I see who are so abusive to their kids and how many "normal" people don't give their kids any attention. Perhaps the "normal" people calling should spend more time with their own kids instead of watching someone else's....

Nothing will ever stop these things from taking place because there are far to many closed minded people out there. A lot of people think that if you cant live there way then you dont need to live at all. I think deep within these kinds of ingrates all they do is fear that there is a happier life being lived by someone else who they just dont approve of because they werent "raised" that way.

I believe that in order for the "State" to get involved there must be harm to the children either physical or mental.

This would not include dressing in gothic garments or having a gothic motif in the interior.

HOWEVER, if perchance there are small children running around loose in the community without parental/adult supervision or if the children seem malnourished then the "State" should get involved.

But not just because of a harmless lifestyle choice.

I really don't like people like that. I wish that there was something we could do. They would sooner look at people different then pay any knowlege to the kids that really need there help. There are a lot of crasy people out there that look very normal so why are people putting us in the wrong? I think it's because they don't understand. The public needs a good wake up call or things will stay the same. I wounder if there is a way that we could help........

people who report that are most likely prude and have no lives. they have no right to what another child's parents are doing, unless they are physically abusive.

Hey, my parents are uber religious and I turned out all dark and "creepy" so the church that my parents go to actually sent a child protective service rep to our house to investigate me and see if I needed to be put in foster care. My parents love me... They might not like my religious decisions, but they love me, and they did their best to explain to the man that I was clinically insane {which they had papers to prove} and that they were the only ones properly trained to take care of me and handle me. In the situation with your friends, as long as the CPS rep doesn't find anything that could be very harmful to the child{ren} then they shouldn't have a problem. Although, I know how frustrating it is having people butt into your personal business. I wish you and your daughter the best. People in this world are really close minded. I'm sorry for that. Maybe try making friends with other parent vampires? then your little girl would have plenty of little friends to play with ^_^

Wishing the best for yourself, and your friends,


♥ Black Lily

it makes me so mad they target those who dont fit the "normal" when the real abusers are never bothered because they fit the sterotype image... im sorry ur friends had to go through this

apearently someone called dshs about us and ours. the lady was very nice and quite irratated at whoever called her about us. she felt she was being used by the caller to dish cr*p and did not like it all. she apologised and that was the last of it.

I think it's completely wrong.... there are plenty of people who raise their children in a religious setting who shouldn't have children because of the psychological damage it can cause...but do people see that no they see a gothic family and because it is out of the norm they get persecuted for it.... What happened to freedom of religion?

They have no right to do that unless the children are in danger.

Yeah, unfortunately that shit happens. That doesn't make it acceptable. It just makes it all the more deplorable. However, until there is an overall increased ability and willingness for society to accept those with differences, ALL kinds of differences, then those calls (for whatever reasons) will continue to be made.

I think the most important thing to remember here, something that neither the people making those calls nor the people doing the investigations can change or take away, is: if you ALWAYS live above reproach, then you have no worries, investigation or not. Let them send droves of social workers with white gloves and manila envelopes containing witness interview information! If you always live the "right" way, regardless of your philosophies, religion, and outlooks on life, then you have no worries. Be a good PERSON. That'll show, and it'll come out in the longrun.

Unfortunately we are a society of busybodies with little else to keep our minds occupied than our neighbors business. I feel for your friends. It isn't fair but we are judged by our appearance. It used to horrify my daughter when I would arrive for parent teacher conferences all dressed in black with my make up done up. To put her at ease I would change into Barbie (normal not goth) clothes for stuff that involved my kids. We should all be free to dress, act and pray the way we want too but sometimes we need to make sacrifices for those we love.

I was made to limit anything I had that was gothic to my room only because social services didn't think it appropriate for my children to see . I don't even have anything that is bad a few gargoyles and swords a couple of pictures but nothing with nudity or anything I thought would be wrong to have around the kids. But there are some good social workers and some bad ones I had a bad one thought it was wrong that my children had laundry baskets in their rooms with dirty clothes in the while the other one thought that was perfectly normal.

i don't have any kids. However, if I had them and they tried to take my kids away due to my lifestyle, then there would be some serious reckonings. Deep down, I have this fear, so I don't tell my family members about my lifestyle. I figure that if they don't know, then they can't report it later on. On the flipside, I do understand that social services does provide a valuable service and they are doing the best they can with the limited resources they have. They need to tighten up their criteria though.

it makes me really sad. none of the other moms at my daughters school will talk to me more than a begrudged 'hi', just b/c i'm not a blond perky stepford wife like they are. So far i don't think it's affected my 3 year old, but i'm sure one day it will.

i'm sorry to hear about your friends. i have heard of a similar case 2nd hand in pittsburgh where child protective services were called out of revenge.

i am truly sorry for you and anyone else that has to go through this. i dont have children yet myself. but when i do boy will it be interesting

Its ashame some people can't accept alternative lifestyles or customs. Its like the controversy over the wiccan symbols on soldiers graves in Arlington cemetary.
I guess things like this are why I am a card carrying member of the
ACLU.

i thought the wiccan symbols have been ok for the grave sights now?

it is wrong that they can take children away for lifestyles

they should be paying more attention on how the children are looked after no matter what lifestyle they have

there is many christian familys' out there that are abusive to their children but it is looked the other way b/c they are christian

You're going to find that when something or someone doesn't go along "normal people" so or do it is going to be given a backlash toward the people that dont follow the "normal way" of life. it is bullshit and people need to open their mind, body and souls to ideas and practices of other people.

I think that as long as everyone is consenting in what is going on and no one is getting harmed in the process it should be alright for a family to do what they believe in. It's ashame that one person who has their own beliefs automatically thinks it is "wrong" of someone to act upon their own different beliefs.

Because of my tattoos and pericings I've had some landlords not rent to me and they wouldn't let my kids hang around with their kids. I had to remove some of my lip rings before I could get a place to rent.

Unfortunately, there are many naive people. They obviously have been brought up to hate. I really feel sorry for the people they go up against. Goth and Vampiric subcultures do not mean bad parents. I think these people should start writing letters to people in Government offices, and get some reaction from them. They might also band up with others like themselves to make a statement. I think it is very unfair to judge them as bad parents.

I've only had issues with religious belief when it came to my children, and the judge specifically said that my beliefs didn't make me a bad parent, especially when I was willing to let my children decide on their own what they wanted to believe. I think there is alot to be said about allowing your chidren to be who they are and choose for themselves what they believe, as long as you give them a chance to become their own person, you are doing fine as a parent.

iv been told by family that when i have kids one day and im still doing what i do , which is nothing illegial that they will sue for future kids because i am goth and like the s and m life style and i am wiccian

I have delt with this for 8 years now, it is hard, but you do get through it. My family has learned to accept my way of life.

the goverment should stay out of other peoples business unless the children are really being abused or neglected...

You know, this is kinda funny yet totally accurate. This story is simmuar to mine. My neighbors hate me and my mother. My mother wore gothic clothing and had many tatoo's and the next door neighbor thought that she was "mental". Just becuase our style of living is different. i wound up living in a Pastor's home. An extreamly hard way to calm my craving for blood. They had taken my mother (who was a sang. vampyre) when I needed her help on trying to learn to feed. It was quite horrific. But i latter learned that i had the ability to feed off of emotions. Which helped because even the Pastor couldn't explain why she was always so angry lol.