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I have wondered this, are we double standared in the way we think and act.

All of us want to be excepted for who we are and what we are. But do we feel that way towards others. Do we all acept some one for what they practice? Or do we judge when some one says they are a witch or a vampire or what ever? Has any one ever felt they need to be allowed to worship how they please or practice what they please but has not done that with some one else?

and this is not for drama this is just soemthing i have wondered?

I treat everyone the same as I would want to be treated, I am very opened minded so I really don't see a point to using a double standard with others.

I also believe you should treat people the way you want to be treated.

I tend to judge others rather harshly and would not put it past anyone else to judge me as well. Double standard or not I feel many people involved in the Vampire community and or are involved in occult practices lean towards being elitists. I know I am.

That happens often.

We want to be accepted, yet it is hard to really accept everyone.

As in beleifs and practices, I don't get bothered as long as they don't force me to do the same, or use their practice as a way to show off or a way to harm me or anyone I care about.

Who, exactly, decided on these so called "standards" that people are currently living by? The standards on how to act, how to dress, and even who one should be. Who decided that every person should be the exact, plastic, fake replica of the person who follows these standards perfectly? Who came up with the terms emo, prep, jock, geek, nerd, and goth? To tell you the truth, I don't think that a single person sat down and thought up something that would change the way people saw each other. Each individual has contributed to these standards in some way, it's undeniable. People like to say I won't judge you, but in the end, haven't we all judged someone without realizing it? We all wish "labels are for soup cans not people", but we ourselves have all, at least once, given another a label of some type. It seems as if the only labels are emo, prep, nerd, etc. It is always you are either this, this, or this. Even when someone tries to free themselves from the categories of one's style and personality by individuality, you still end up on being labeled. I have to wonder if we will stop saying, "That person is an emo. That person is a prep." At the moment, the dream for a world where you won't be judged seems pretty far away. With those "standards" and "labels" already in our minds, there is no way of getting them out. Maybe one day we can look at someone without having to instantly skip to a stereotype. Maybe we'll start realizing every cover is different from the story. Maybe, we will all see the imperfection and the flaws in one another as beauty.

Maybe, just maybe. For now, I guess, I'll dream of that day.

I'm sorry if I rambled too much or I have double post, but everyone is equal from to be judged or not.

I use to...but then I thought who am I to judge anyone?

We are all different in ways and it would be a sad world if we were all the same.

With a open-mind we can learn from each other, but it does not mean we have to follow their ways or ours.

Unfortunately most of us expect others to accept us as we are and for who we are, but then fail to give the same respect in return. Though I try not to, I daresay I am as guilty as any. But I'm trying.

I try to be open minded and accepting of everyone. I dont always succeed, but that makes me human

I have always accepted people the way they are and for who they are. I don't judge them until after i've known them. Prejudging is wrong in many different ways. It gives the mind a preconceived notion that is probably going to be false.

I believe that everyone should let people worship in however they worship and not question it. It is different for each person. Nobody is the same and nobody will ever be the same as each other. If that happened the world would be extremely boring.

Ok no offense or disrespect meant in any sort of way.

But I think that people are so quick to quick to pass judgement before actually taking the time out of their day to get to know the person or group they are putting down. I think it is quite sad when others have to be offensive all of the time and downgrade others for whatever path they walk and beliefs they have chosen to carry.. :)

I agree with Jaded 100%. If people stopped judging and started to look at the people they are judging as people and get to know them then they'd realize that people are different for a reason and shouldn't be judged at all.

http://www.holysmoke.org/tolerate.htm

A very well written article on tolerance.


While I am not against t5he individual beliefs of people, I am against those intent on imposing their beliefs (in what ever degree) upon others. This includes implying that any who do not subscribe to their beliefs are "lost', or "deluded".

dabbler I agree but could not the same argument be used against those who automatically assume that all Christians are judgemental, and share responsibility for the murders of witches and other evils perpetrated upon the earth throughout history.
Or those who call us posers or mundanes because we don't claim to drink blood or live a particular lifestyle.
Or those who feel they should determine who has a right to be here and who does not.
I believe that the tolerance has to go both ways.
I don't claim to be what I am not nor do I deny what I am.
I am comfortable with that as I am comfortable with the differences of my friends.
Differences, whether they be matters of opinion, belief, appearance, or religion, only matter if we allow them to.
They should be relished and savored not discouraged.

There in lies the faction factor. The degrees, Fundimentalist break from moderate faiths. Cynics break from skeptic ranks. fanatics are all to ready for confrontation. The moment they are rebuked, they fall back to the general faith. "They are attacking me, rise from the pews , and defend our shared belief!" makes me vomit.. really.

I think try as we might we all still have a holier than thou outlook on things whether or not its as severe as others is irrelevant as we still are in fact guilty of having double standards

True, but they can be fun to watch.
Like a multitude of Don Quixotes slaying windmills in the name of their deity and then claiming the right of sacrifice against those who laugh hysterically from the sidelines.

haha very true hypocricy is one of the funniest things ever... followed by a quote....
"Why is there enough religion to incite war, but not enough religion to instill peace?"

edit

"They are attacking me (read us), rise from the pews , and defend our shared belief!"

Fundies, and fanat-ies only use plural, after they are caught in userption.

As much as i hate to admit, even the Church of Satan does the same as any other religion. During Anton's time it was, Serve yourself CoS does. Now its Serve CoS because we are like any other religion

me i dis like the double standard, but relasticly i have used it.
and i think in some time in every ones life they have done the same thing

some time i have a hard time beliving some things people say or a hard time accepting.

example

they are a 10th wizard of a house of vampire in the 3rd degree. and it is a puicture of 18 year old yeah i have a hard time beliving that

or some one is a vampire and they have a tone of twlight stuff on there page and relate to bing a vampire from the twlight books yeah i have a hard time belivign it

Pretensious people polluted the Church of The Sub Genius as well.

It comes about with commercialization, when someone wants to support themselves solely through their congregation. Commercialization. Not that funding is always abuse.. but it should have guidelines that are agreed upon in mission statements.

I honestly havent heard of that dabbler the church i mean. But cults never have that problem because most people fear a cult and the whole "morally brainwashed" bit comes in there

It boils down to paid showmenship (with rare exceptions). Putting on an entertaining venue.

Any craft, or practice differs from belief.

very true. ive always wanted,though it will probably never come about, abolish all religion/religious practices in groups. One person can do as they want, but whenever a religion rises the try to get as much power and influence as possible

As an article well states (See HolySmoke.org Tolerance) until they overstep boundries, they are to be tolerated, ones beliefs are one thing. Ones practice is another. if that practice violates societies rules/guidelines, then the practice, as well as the religion/faith is brought under scruity, and rightfully so.

The hands off believers default is fading, and factions, and splinter groups that are nothing but covers for suspect behavior is fading, and even religions are paving the way for confronting, and dismantaling such sects.

right. But dont you think that all religion has over stepped their boundary at one point or another? Witch trials, Knights Templar, 9/11, Catholic Slaughters every century or so all examples of over stepping boundaries

That is a can of worms. For this forum, I would distingish between moderates, and Fundimentalist. Me personally, I find the eastern religions more appealing then most deity based religions.. though eastern religions are not void of usurption by any means.

i do think all religon has over stepeted its boundrys, for ways to benift its self

of course to benefit themselves because they all think theirs is right and its their way or hell(or the equivellant) and its a race to see who has the most people on thier side

I honestly think everyone does at one point or another have a double standard. But is it not in our nature to use comparison of ideas and beliefs. I think that maybe things are over analyzed to the point that the cause or reason was lost. I've seen many that are extremely contradicting of what they say and do. Their actions and words never actually meet in the middle of whatever it is there doing. Than brining on absolute confusion on those whom actually are trying to understand.

But the judgement of others is unfortunately inevitable but than there is constructive critism and than there is just down right being absolutely rude and harsh because of an "ego" that needs to be furfilled by doing such acts. If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all. Thats how I feel.

But double standards doesnt mean you have to voice your opinion, You can keep all your thoughts to yourself and still have double standards

Thats just it a percentage of those who profess a belief, don't want people to grasp what they believe, they want to feel special, and knowledgable. To summerize their beliefs they are giving up their assumed "mystique".

Of course.

But than again there are those whom take things just little to far to purposly go out and disrespect and cause injury by words or actions.

Everything can be a double standard. whether it's one with yourself or others.

I always try to be as neutral as possible but even with myself I do catch myself falling into such patterns. Which is not always good but it happens. It's very hard to always maintain an open mind especially when having to play the defensive.If that makes any sense to you. :)

Logic often escapes an open mind.

An open mind to some is seen as a depository for pamplets, and half baked concepts.

I treat all with an open mind
I dont believe in turning my back on anyone unless they do something to me personality. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt so my answer is treat all with respect until they dont have it anymore

I repect any and all no matter what they are or believe in has no bearing on how I treat someone. We all could show and use alittle compassion toward one another yet, sad to say many want to judge you or as the topic have double standards. That just does not fly with me so I will respect you on all levels just how it should be and what i would expect in return.

I think many times we feel that someone is being judgemental when they do not agree with us.We tend to also disregard the fact that someone might have found things about a given subject that compels them to either not believe in that subject or to believe something completely different about it.That does not constitute judgment of the individual at all,nor does it mean someone is not being open minded.
And sometimes yes,we are most likely all guilty of being judgmental at one time or another.

I agree with you Oceane, some do feel just because we do not always agree with their opinion or belief, they tend to think it is judgemental yet, it is not it is just people being different. yet, I do respect any that are real about themselves and how they believe.

I dont think it really matters if you are judgemental at first sight. It matters whether or not you push those aside and get to know them before passing that judgment and allowing it to affect how you treat that person

When I was a child, I used to think that religions started wars. They do not. It is a meme to believe that religion is the cause of war. Politics is always the cause of war, some group wants what another group has got.

greed.

Regarding judging others and the double standard:

Everybody makes mistakes, it is part of progerssion, falling and catching yourself, falling and catching yourself... just like walking.
The difficulty lies in how you forgive the mistakes.

When you judge yourself, it is nearly always easy to forgive you, because you know there was no intent to do wrongdoing. When you do make a mistake, with intent, it is very much harder to forgive yourself, and it may take a considerable time of self loathing and mistrusting yourself, before you can carry on.

How this affects others is that you are judging them on your standard, on what you think their path should be, or even on what you think they think their path is. Truth is, that only they know what their path is.

Therefore, you are always judging them by the criteria by which you judge yourself, you loathe and cannot forgive them. Even when you judge them by what you think they believe, you are still actually judging them by what you think.

Every person sees other peopel as minor characters in their own story, and gets mad when they (who are their own main character in their own story) do not abide by the standards of your story. This is the cause of all strife, jealousy, and hate. You cannot alter their story, by telling them your story louder.

It is best to believe that all people are doing their best to be themselves and develope (as God intended) into more mature entities, and "forgive them their trespasses..." (to use a quote from a source I don't nessesarily follow.)

Of course everyone has double standards. This is a commonality actually. As there are two many stereotypical ways of life these days, from philosophies to paths and ideals, thought structures and theological beliefs. One cannot choose just one to stabalize themselves as a "self" for the sake of the world around them through their peers eyes. Thus the double standard of "please accept me" even though I don't wish to accept you, nor acknowledge your presence.

I think the double standard goes along with selfishness.

Well...someone who is into the occult just to get a reaction out of their parents is no better than some of the people that they're trying to piss off.

Rebellion for the sake of rebellion isn't any better than blending into normal society due to fear. In both cases...someone isn't being true to themselves.

When I see either of these situations...I tend to have an opinion. I don't consider it a double standard. That's because if someone is true to themselves...I have respect for that.

Thanks AX, it is often that such people are aggresive to others who more knowledgable then they are. knowledgable beyond generic, and trivial levels.

Most will even fill gaps in their generic scripts with fantasy, though their scripts appeal to, and perhaps astonish those with less then general knowledge.

Their intent becomes transparent eventually, sadly they often perpetuate negative stereotypes on the sub-culture, practice, or alternative belief by then.

Wicca being a common example, of misconceptions being perpetuated by those who profess out of suspect intent.

Most of the VR members, Love to hear what they want to hear. The judgment of others, base in their belief, always will be part of this site. Many people say what they are and for others, the prof must be presented as evidence of that statement.

Most of the VR members, Love to hear what they want to hear. >>>

I disagree, that happens everywhere.

Markus,

For a moment I was reminded of the - blood and gold - thread.

To me, there are people that like definition, and people that like to defy it. Too many people, in blatant ignorance of themselves, attempt to defy definition by defining themselves. What folly. First you must master what you are, before you can exceed it.

Psychology says yes and it is proven by how people act in public and how they act in private. The internet has brought on a new dimension as well, so that is a semi-puclic and semi-private world view and is being exploited by bad people and used to further the cause of good people too. All in all, it is our nature as thinking creatures to grow and expand our minds in a way that makes us more experienced people. Some of those experiences are worth noting and taking into our inner pysche and others are less beneficial so we discard them and learn the lesson of pain. Good or bad, we grow if we learn the lesson.

I used to judge people. I used to snicker at those who I though to be less important than myself.

Then, I realized that no matter how hard I was going to pick on someone, they weren't going to change, because that was the way they are. I used to get angry when someone picked on me for who I am, and yet, I did the same exact thing.

I try hard now to treat people the way that I would like to be treated, and I usually laugh at the people that make fun of me now.

VoodoChile you mentioned an often overlooked phrase, "Expand our Minds.'. a stark contrast to the glib "Open Minded". Well stated.

thanks dabbler, an open mind does not necessarily expand in my understanding. It might be picking nits, but I think that it is an important distinction to have a mind that actually grows with each experience. There is a lot I can and am learning about human kind as a species, but just when I think I have people pegged, they go and surprise me and I am humbled by what I see and horrified the next. Nice experience all in all, so carry on humanity...heh.

Territhian little sister I say again how you are wise beyond your years and this will serve you well.

Each person has their own prejudices when they begin to grow that is when they push those aside and reach out to gain knowledge through first hand experience.

Well done.... Have I mentioned how intelligent I think almost everyone is? You guys are so astute and thoughtful. I never cease to be impressed.

Most people do have double standards, especially when it comes to themselves. Most actually believe they can do no wrong and I believe they are sorely mistaken.
I try to keep and open mind about everything and certainly don't condemn those for their practices and beliefs.
Who am I to judge and tell them they are wrong?

well i might be judged by all but i am here to make friends of people i dont judge and all i ask is same inreturn i choose the name because i feel that way i am a playful but dont tell all or any my main reasons for being here i can say its a big thrill of mine to almost be on top or in the top of this site and i guess that makes me a triple standard.

It's common I think. but i tell thous who need and want to know about my life. Everyone else can screw. I think that people feel the need to tell people what they don't need to know for their own reasons. We are who and what we are. what should it matter to others.I f you choose to share then you open that door for their comments. Just be proud of who we are.

Too many people take offense when people don't subscribe to their beliefs. Some are even insulted when even those who share their beliefs are not as entuisastic as they are.

Then you have people that are desperate to have people convinced they had some mystical experience.. even indifference makes these individuals miffy..

As if there are no other beliefs that people can opt for, or practices to subscribe to..

Perhaps we could start a new trend and get offended and angry only when others agree with us.
Wouldn't that be the ultimate double standard?

posted here son VR several times.. that is, when applicable.. "have you ever noticed, those who shout the loudest for tolerance, are often the last to display it themselves!"

succinct enough??

Indeed Angelus. a solid use of that indeed.

I think the intent of some is to astonish others by professing to have more then just faith.. this makes for desperate individuals, they feel if their claimed experience is compromised, then they will have no social foundation to advance on..

This is why those who share beliefs should be content with sharing experiences relating to those beliefs, with others of their faith.. belief.. practice etc..

One can expect so much from those who do not subscribe to what one believes.. rejection (out right cynism), Skeptical, Indifference, or Simple Intrest.

If a person insist they saw an apperition, and another person inquires "Could it have been a trick of lighting?" and the person respondes.."No!!! I know it was not a Trick of the Light.." How can they seriously expect anyone to continue to be engaged in their account?

I openly admit that I have double standards. I freely admit to believing in real vampires by my definition. But I often scoff at others who admit to being a real vampire by their definition of the word. No one has yet to change my mind on what I feel comfrontable in believing.

In my experience it is normal people who have the double standards.

It does not matter how much evidence you present they just switch off because Apocalypse is too much for them to handle.

I have discussed this with my kin and the general consensus is you cannot deal with the recognised conflicts and how to pay your mortgages.

Last thing you need is the truth...Hell god forbid.Grinz.

I am def. guilty of having a double standard in regard to my expectations of people. As much As I may want to say "I dont judge others based solely on my perception" alot of the time I do. I think people can easily rationalize our own behavior because we know the whole situation. Many times I know I will not give someone the benefit of the doubt on their motivations.

I expect high standards to be displayed by both myself and others in society at all times. Here I talk about standards in both general societal and moral obligation, not life choices. I expect nothing more from someone that I would not be willing to do myself. I would come down as hard, if not harder on myself if I did not make a concerted effort on a daily basis to reach these standards. People who don't at least make an attempt to reach acceptable standards piss me off. So no I don't think I have double standards.

I think we all display double standards in some way. Sometimes without even realising it. I dont believe that we all do it intentually but it just happens and not always a bad form of double standards. Sometimes it comes with the job we do and we just cannot get away with it. There are others who it is a way of life.

I think it is just human nature to have double standards, we do all tend to walk around with a mirror in our face and only regard our own thoughts and feelings, not paying attention to anyone else. We may from time to time drop the mirror and look around us and realise we aren't the only ones suffering in this world.

Learning to look beyond yourself is a hard lesson and not easy but can be done. I will always admit that I am not perfect that I will think of myself and be defensive, but as long as I am aware of it and notice it when it is happening then I can do my best to stop myself and consider another.

This world is full of double standards, but there isn't anything we can do about them... call it flaws,

I am taking Introduction to Psychology; and the Professor has told us the past 2 classes that if we learn one thing from his class is that when we talk to someone, anyone we need to always remember that we are speaking to 2 people, the person they present to us and the person they truly are. Most people walk around this world wearing a mask to hide their inner most being, we do this because we fear rejection for not fitting into the "norm", we do this to protect ourselves for we have learned from past hurts others are not to be trusted, or we do this to hide the real monster that might be lurking behind our mask. I personally try my best to not judge people, but it is a flaw most humans tend to be guilty of, for we are trained as we grow by our families, friends, and the enviroment around us to judge people based on ourselves if they are not like us, not of the same economic status, don't live in the right neighborhood, etc. that we are better then them or if it is us that are the outsider we are to strive to be like them. Until we as humans find contentment within ourselves we will always judge others and live by a double standard of sorts.

yes we have double standards in the way we act and deal with others an easy example is the fact no one has issues with men at work having to have short hair while the women can have long hair thats a double standard and the fact that the majority of the people out there have no issue with it means they comply with it and the double standard.......sorry was the easiest one for me to come up with since i have long hair :P

Don't kid yourselves. We all judge each other. Plain and simple. Its part of the survival instinct. It worked in the past and it works now. It's not going to change. Why are people trying to deny this? Guilt? Or do people really believe it makes them a better person not to judge? Nothing wrong with judging each other either.

There's only two things people need to know about judging another:

1. We compare them with ourselves. So if you see something you don't like in them, it's that something you don't like in yourself.

2. Don't confuse judging with equality. The act of judging means little by itself. It's what people do with it that matters. Job interviews, friends, lovers, opportunities all depend on judging.

Billy, just because something is difficult to achieve, doesn't mean you should give up in trying to achieve it.
Nobody's asking anybody to give up masterbation here (Unless it involves coveting your neighbors wife) *smirk*

Judging may be natural, but so is killing, hating, anger, and other things we manage to control for ethical and personal reasons.

Even if you are not religious (judge not lest thee be judged,) it is benificial to keep prejudice out of your "heart."

My personal opinion of judging (being the opposite of love) may not be a perfect one; but it does seam probable that it is at least a symptom of impurities in love.

Pure love is always something worth trying to achieve... even if only with one other. A soul that can achieve pure love with everyone, goes far beyond sainthood, as we know it today, but it is not inconcievable.

I deny that judgement is not a "sin." and I mean no disrespect re: your SN.

That 'judge not lest thee be judge' is exactly what I mean by seeing ourselves in others. It isn't God doing the judging in that statement but us! Other than survival, killing is not natural nor is hate or anger.

The only state of being that is natural is Love. This is not an emotion. The only opposite would be either ignorance or arrogance.

And I have achieve it but Life still goes on. It's not that big a deal. There are other lessons to learn afterward.

As I have mentioned, we judge all the time and it's fine. Even JC did when he taught one teaching to the masses yet taught differently to his inner circle of twelve. There is and always will be a reason to judge. Yes, we have double standards. There will be topics I will not discuss online but will in person. It's not about secrecy. Nor only about the 'pearls to swine' thing either but somethings just don't belong to everyone. Not all people are created equality. To say so is ignorance. Sounds nice though but isn't true in any form.


And that 'other thing' can be taken care of by some Tranta practices I know of. :P

I used to have the tendency to look at a person & the 1st thing that crossed my mind was usually a judgment, but then i had to stop myself & think why am i judging him or her. Growing up in a cynical household with some family members who were very prejudice it was definitely a hard habit (i guess you'd call it?) to overcome. Now before any form of judgment even dares come to mind i try to think of something that could possibly be good about that person(s) so it can push the negativity away.

i do often judge people when i meet them....
unfortunately i suppose, im far too often correct in my assessment. an inference is an educated guess based on ones own experiences. being judgmental is sometimes just using inference, but sometimes its just based on ones own acquired prejudices. so the question one must ask oneself is "are the judgments i am making concerning another based on my actual experiences, or based on unfounded biases i have developed over my life?
point being, there is a time and a place for judgments...but always be willing to look at each individual as an individual.
~W~

I treat everyone with respect as i want to be treated !!

and I accept all for who and what they believe in

when it comes down to it no matter who or what we are

we all bleed red inside. so No double standards here

I try to treat all the same and with honesty, and integrity. However I am a human being that makes mistakes so I would be lying if I say that I do not have double standards. I think it is just a part of our make up.

Everyone is treated equally in my book... But, if they go about their life stupidly or act as such, then I will critisize them for this.

If I dislike you, at least I acknowledged your presence.. Moving on.

i believe so , i mean we judge those who judge us for what we are yet i try very hard not to but u can only be called a freak so many times before u lose it

I believe we all have double standards. It is hard to look in the mirror long enough to see all of the times we fail.

I learned early on to consider other peoples opinons but in the end we all make our own decisions. I get very blunt about different things. Depending on the subject of discussion I feel strongly for or against the said subject for whatever my reasons are. I don't have double standards at all.

Everyone has two sides to themselves. I believe that because I experience it on a daily basis online and in real life. People let you see only what they want you to see. Subconsciously we do it whether we want to or not. It's "human" nature.

Of course. It almost seems to be human nature. Everyone wants to be accepted for who they are and what they do, but when it comes to others...people no matter how previously ostracized can be rather quick to judge. Which surprises me. I know what it feels like to be judged and so when I find myself treating others in a similar way, I try to immediately recognize what I'm doing and stop. How easy it is to forget correct behaviour. :)

yes it would be nice if everyone would just let others be, i will not say i have not judged a wiccan, or a christian, etc. but i will say i don't judge them on these bases but i ted to hate everyone equally, what can i say i brought up in the house of a misanthrope