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What would be your thoughts and feelings about having to change different parts of yourself or your lifestyle inorder to keep custody of your children, or if your child were to express a problem with your lifestyle?

Children are very suceptable to adults actions, some compramises should be achieved for your children or kept out of their sights. We must consider our life still a major part of theirs until they leave the home. So yes lifestyles would be adjusted for some degree for the sake of children.

Children should always be a parents priority. If you have to alter a part of your life for the sake of the safety or sanity of your children, especially if they have vocalized discomfort, then you have no choice but to do so until they reach 18 or are self sufficient without your guidance. Yes it is difficult, but we decide to have them, they do not decide to be with us, therefore it is we who must make the sacrifice.

Just my 2 cents.

Anais

I would do whatever it took to keep them and if that entailed a few modifications in my lifestyle ? So be it.

You should make sacrifices. Some lifestyles simply aren't conducive to a child's living environment (outrageous sex fetishes that aren't necessarily hidden, other things). There should be no questions. Children come first. If they don't- in my opinion... your children are then going to be better off with people who will make them and their welfare priority.

" Children say the darned' things, at the oddest times."

Imagine your child at a sleep over, being candid about their observations of home life.

Children should be at the formost of our lives, we should keep things away from prying eyes so too say. Children do and act as their parents in alot of ways. Now with that said laws do govern over society and imoral ways would lose our children. What no parent wants in life. Make a change.

Children do come first and should take priority numero uno. If not there is something wrong with you.

Childrens safety and well being depend on their parents until they reach age 16/17 when they can drive and be self sufficient. Until then their life/lives depend on their parents and parents care.

To not care for a child is child neglect and in most if not every case will have emotional scarring.

if someone imposes slogans, and ideals on their children.

my former post is an example, a radical activist impressed polittical ideals on her children, and they parroted the mannerism, and slogans when around
the exes family. They also became defient to basic authority.

Of course this raised concern in her exes family, regarding her priorities to her children. Wether or not they shared her political views.

I must note i am not a parent but can imagine if i was i would do anything to keep them. If it meant i needed to change everything i would.. children would always come first over any lifestyle for me.

Children seem to be our little treasures in life, we protect them, teach them and then cry when they are gone. So why would we do anything to harm emotional or knowledgable balance in our lives.

Children seem to be our little treasures in life, we protect them, teach them and then cry when they are gone. So why would we do anything to harm emotional or knowledgable balance in our lives.

As a parent i feel this is a subject very close to my heart, i cannot understand why when you have children you wouldn't put them first and do whatever you have to to keep them safe, protected and cared for, they didnt ask to be born and if you aren't prepared to sacrifice anything that may not be in the best interests of the child's well being then i think you should perhaps wait to have children until you are.

i have to agree with most who have posted before, when you have a child you have to place your child first and foremost. i have 2 children and i know alot was sacrificed so they could be safe, and grow into the young adults they are.

My children are my life, and in thus I would change anything I had to if it proved better for them. I believe a child’s mind is very susceptible to alteration through their parents actions and at a very young age those thoughts and images can and will have a lifetime of affects on them. Children need to be protected, often sometimes by the bad or odd choices that we as parents may make. We have to be very selective of what our children are exposed to and fully explore the ideal of what is and isn’t healthy for a young child to see.

Why would any parent jepordise a childs welfare by their own personal goals, we choose to be a parent and thus our kids should come first over our own personal ego's.

My former neighbor a single mother, had to have an intervention, she was so
Obessed with Facebook, and WoW that she neglected her children, and routine house chores,

She routinly yelled at her children when they interupted her at the screen.

She would send her 8 year old to the store rather then walk herself.

When confronted she accused her family ( Baptist) of
being prejudice of WoWs theme.

As a parent myself,I take the time to talk with my children on a daily basis.How is school,etc?And when a situation arrives,I ask them how do they feel about,and I let them make their own decision.Would I do anything to change my lifestyle if it had a influence on my children.Yes,I would.I also am protective,like a tigress and her cubs.But I am strict at the same time.I hope my lifestyle now has instilled the positives of life in them,and they will instrumentally use it when they are older.

I have always tried to give my son as he was growing up structure.
Video games were not my babysitter.
We put him in Karate in which he loved, he had his own
newspaper route, in which he had help
delivering papers.
His money was his money.
I opted for my lifestyle as he got much older.
I do believe and always feel that children,
as many has stated here, always come first.
As parents we always want to set good examples
that will carry on in their adult life.
It saddens me to hear of the bullying that goes
on in schools.
The girl who just came out of a coma because
she was kicked in the head several times with a 15 year old who had on steel toe boots.
The girl who hung herself, because of being bullied.
Parents need for their children to put the texting away
as well as the video games and spend time with their children.
My lifestyle was put on hold until my son
understood about the religion I chose,
as well as other aspects of my life.
Parent 1st...lifestyle later.

There are limits to how much I'd change. My lifestyle is not so outrageous, but I wouldn't remove certain art, for example. A gf has several pieces depicting nude women, not in erotic poses, one is even hugely pregnant. A little friend of her son's, all of 8, said that art wasn't good to have around boys. If her kid had objected because he wanted to be part of a group, it would have been wrong for her to take it down, but what she considers art some others might consider porn.

i would have to say i dont have kids yet so i dont know how i would answer this

but sadly i have seen others who be it bdsm, vampire life style, nudest life style who have glady given there children up so they would not have to change them selfs

Such people are pathetic!

It actually has nothing to do with their lifestyle choices, they are just delusional, and with no priorities, I would wager they are dependent on very
egotistical people that dictate " their ideals, and thoughts" to them.

Their bubbles burst very soon, and it is always messy. Such people make messes, and expect others to clean up after them, they can't be bothered with anything but leisure.

as a parent I have two things to say

1. your damn skippy I would do anything and everything for them no questions asked and I fully agree with what I have seen in the other posts.

2. thankfully we do live in a day and age where more things are accepted, however yes there are many things that children should not be subjected to if one must change a certain aspect of their lifestyle to fit a family lifestyle that they chose to have then they should do it.

The child should be your first concern, however, all parents instill their guided or misguided belief's into their children. Whether it is lifestyle choices(i.e. socialite, biker, religious, atheist, ect...) or lack thereof.

We groom our children with the enculturation that we know and accept. If we went into every house in America we would be shocked with what is being taught to the children as acceptable behavior.

Children look to parents as guides in their own lifes and mimic the style in which they are taught. Children should be cherished and life be on some what of a hold during its time. i am not saying give it up but be careful on actions of yours for they may led the children to things in which you wish not carried to society.

@ Doru true true no matter where you look there is always something that is poisoning and most does come from the home unfortunately. Its as if children are in essence angels with clipped wings who are handed down to us undeserving and we marvel at such a great treasure of purity and innocence and awe thinking we can love them and shelter them with our dirty hands only to find that with each passing day we see more and more of their true nature slipping away from them as we watch the world we know slowly poison them, sometimes by our own hands and by the influences of our communities in which we live and our hearts grow heavy at such an atrocity and we come to realize that we can't stop it but only try to ease it as much as possible and save them from utter annihilation of the soul by loving them the best we can. As a parent of two very amazing angels it is heartbreaking to watch be it the poisoning of my own doing or that of the surroundings it is still very painful. With that said here comes the famous words "All you need is love" and if you truly love someone or two and were faced with a decision of changing certain things or losing them i would hope that wouldn't be a question cuz what is this existence without love.

My adult children know about my"vamipric" lifestyle&accept it.They appreciate the fact that I'm open-minded&not the "typical" parent.My younger children only know that Mommy wears black the majority of the time(not necessarily a "goth" thing.I just love black&red.lol)&i'm obsessed with horror novels&movies.I use the utmost discretion regarding what my younger children are exposed to.

I do not have children of my own, but if i were to be blessed with some then YES i would do everything in my power to ensure their happiness above my own. No child should be neglected because the parent refuses to grow up or change just a little for the sake of a child. Children are the future & without proper guidance what kind of future will there be in the long run?

To me family is ALWAYS first & foremost no matter what. So if changing who i am meant that chances were good to keep my kids, then i would do it in a heartbeat & without second thought.

That depend in the age of the children. Many youngster can accommodate themselves into any change made by their parent(s). If they are of age, let say, preteen, then the transition will be more difficult. The rebellion will be part of the outcome.

I understand your concept MistressVampire; as a mom and two custody issues myself.

I agree some things are important to change, as parents most of us love our children so much, yes any sacrafice is worth them.
If a child is stating negativity issues pertaining to your life style, it can cause havoc in a court of law for one. Depending what those issues are of course!
However I am oppossed to a court impossing freedom of choice issues of your lifestyle in order to keep custody or partial custody if no harm in any form can NOT be proven.
To many Judges are religiously predjudice and should not be using their powers beyond constitutional rights, especially where children are concerned.
I once had a jude almost rule against me for my sons due to the fact I refused to go to church, overruled by a higher state court under the constitutional admendment of freedom of relion!
Hahahaha!

Anais stated:

Children should always be a parents priority. If you have to alter a part of your life for the sake of the safety or sanity of your children, especially if they have vocalized discomfort, then you have no choice but to do so until they reach 18 or are self sufficient without your guidance. Yes it is difficult, but we decide to have them, they do not decide to be with us, therefore it is we who must make the sacrifice.

I reply:
EXACTLY!!! My husband and I have chosen not to have children so that we don't have to make these types of sacrifices, but had we - we would have made those sacrifices gladly.

Of course, all good intentions go out the window when it comes to divorce. Forgive me if this was already mentioned but I imagine we've all heard of the cases where a couple is living a happy Wiccan (or other form of Pagan religions) life until they split up. Then, one or the other uses that same religious life to take the children from the other parent. Sure, we all have freedom of religion but some judges still don't care. They believe all the crap rumors being put out there.

You are who you are and your children will view you how the deam fit, and that opinion will change over the course of thier life. What the "feel" at age 4, 7, 12, & 15 are usually different and so changing your life to suite thier needs seems to make you their puppet more then you being their mentor.
Will a divorce lawyer seek ANY method to make you look unfit for thier clients benift, ummm yeah, thats thier job. So i guess to me, i'm unwilling to change who i am for a battle in a court that won't matter jack crap to a child who's life has been ripped in 2 because "mom & dad" can't get along. They will continue to seek out thier parents and if they choose you, does that mean that your divorced partener losses them? Children seem to be more accepting of a parent that is Real to them, more then a parent who try's to change mid stream to meet the needs of a judge. do we not tell them, "be yourself" and "if they don't like you for WHO you are, then do you really need them as friends?" in this case i understand your the parent, but isn't it rather hypicritical to run and hide when all the child wants is normality & consistancy in thier wrecked life of being forced to do this and go there because of a judge. Just my opinion and yes i do have imps. (for those who are thinking "this idiot has never had children")

Well being someone who has lost their child to DSS AFTER changing their lifestyle (been sober 21 months), I would have to say this is a no-brainer. My husband and I lost our son because someone called in a false report to the department of social services about my husband hitting me. It was bullshit and now my poor 2 year old has to suffer! So yheah....if you dont change your lifestyle for your child than your child is not as important to you as your own self.

I don't think that it's fair to have to do this, but I would if i had to! But it is discrimination on their part!

Yes, it most definitely is!! I feel discriminated against because my husband and I are recovering addicts. I guess with 2 years sober they STILL hate on us. It's ridiculous. My son is the best thing that EVER happened to me. The reason I go on VR so much is because I miss him and it helps me deal with the pain. My baby slept in my bed every night! When he was first born I never put him down! I held him all day, every day for the first three months of his life. I love my son more than my own life and I would do anything for him and I will do whatever it takes to get him back with his parents that he lioves ever so much.

Buit yes, I agree, a lot of it is discrimination and it is effing bullshit. (Are you allowed to say the F word in here?)

i would change the issue with my life style to best suit the children, no matter how big the change or how hard it would be, im currently in the process of getting custody of my little sister, my mothers definatly NOT a good mother, and knows form raising me, and i dont let her forget how bad of a mother she was to me and is to my sister, so since she wont willingly change or make things better, im going to make things change, ill be moving to a diffrent provience and everything.....

I'm sorry to hear that Passion. And that is what kills me right there. Parents who suck at being parents get to keep their kids and DSS bothers and splits up my family who did nothing wrong. its bs.

Could it be said that, the need to changing, or alter ones lifestyle depends upon how intensly involved the lifestyle in question is? What practices are involved? How discreet you practice.

Children are like sponges and if their seeing such things as your lifestyle bother you then at least keep it from their line of site...

Nothing would keep me from my child. I would sacrifice anything for him. As he grows, I will adjust to him. He need not know my personal life. But in a case where that personal life began to cause problems with him or in keeping custody, I would change. I may not change everything, if I could find a compromise or shield it from him, then i would. As it stands now, I am a single parent so i do NOT bring my personal life home. Should my lifestyle turn into a 24/7 live in...boundaries would be in place. And those boundaries would be agreed upon by both me and the one in my life.

I would make any changes necessary. I have a son and he is my world and I would do anything for him. Once the decision to have a child is made, I think that then the child must always come first. In my profession, I have at times seen the devastating effects that poor life choices can have on families....it always breaks my heart.....those are the hardest days for me

Personally, I think that I would let my child follow their own ways, with guidance- naturally.
With age comes responsibility.

If they have questions when they are three of four, that is one thing. But it is completely different if your teenager is hurting themselves

Do you know that in reality your life revolves around a handful of people, that can be narrowed and stratified on influential variables. The first and most impactive wave of influence revolves around your loved ones and the groups that involves your developmental programing, the ones that are likely to have the most interaction (approximately 2-6 inner family,4-25 external) The second one revolves on stages of advanced influence; daily life interaction with individuals that are temporarily/short term impact of development (teacher, students, co-workers,friends, doctors: approximately less than 300 individuals); the third group involves superficial or collective impactive individuals that have no personal interaction with you that in one way or another comes into the subject awareness (TV crews, celebrities, walking civilians, clients, historic figures, store clerks, business associates, internet articles/authors/"friends" etc, from approximately 200,000 to a million in a lifetime, depending on social popularity, influence or interaction within the social communication nexus). So in essence about 6.7 billion of the people in this world is invisible to you and you to them in the influence towards the acquirement of experience in your life. Imagine the amount of personalities, backgrounds, theories, ideas and perspectives there is out there to exchange in order to expand, imagine the level of advancement we could make with a higher and more efficient level of communication than the current available (suppressed and divided). With this limited amount of interaction with day to day individuals throughout your lifetime you could easily begin to map the spring of your impressions and the major influence of your perceptual judgement as well as the things you take in consideration before exercising your free will on any natural deterministic event. To narrow things down, parent must be intelligent, responsible and careful on how to program a child in the early stages before it gets to the second wave of influence, not always to be over protective but avid on knowing what to give and what to take in the teaching phases, with this many things could be achieved in a social scale, all this provided is suspended on teachings alone, discarding the percent of genetics traits/abilities/impulses a human comes with deterministically without choice.

i would change anything about my mood to keep my children with me for a long time if i had any

For me to respond to this thread, I must know what kind of life style are you referring to. So, for now, I just read and relax.

As a 15 year old, I can say that a parents lifestyle shines through in most actions they choose to take. I know for a fact children see the lifestyles of their parents in the same way they see their own. We would not want our lifestyles to be compromised, and depending on situation, we do not want to compromise their's.

Anyone who puts their children LAST should be without any parental contact of the children just how I feel you brought them into the world they did not ask so it would be only proper and correct that we all have to make adjustments to our lives once we become a parent.

I agree with Dabbler as to those kind of parents are pathetic, I say they are very selfish and self presevered form only them selfs. So they have no right to even have a child.
Just how I feel. My daughter is grown and it makes me happy when I hear her tell my granddaughter * My mom did this with me and I want to share it with you* When they were making cupcakes together the other night, she could of went out yet she chose to be home with her child I felt very warm and proud and fuzzy inside. :) that is good parenting in my opinion.....when you know you did make an impression on them as to growing and being a great parent.

I am a mother of a 14 yr old and an 18 yr old. As for them they have always been number 1 on my list and I would never to anything in my lifestyle to hurt them. I am not sure about your life style but with me, my children seem to be just fine and act like everyother teenager out there today.

I can only guide them and hope that they make the right chooses in life and be there if they should fall. I think that is what parents are there for.

children first every time, life style is not inportant ,kids are plane and simple you have kids your life has to change, if not you are a selfish sob .

If my lifestyle caused issues with my children then I would change that part of my life. The children always come first. As they get older then maybe a compromise can be sought!

I would do whatever I had to to keep them.

This is why I do not have kids at all. I've known all the in's and out's of myself for, well... for the majority of my life. Being privy to this, I have choosen to not have kids, seeing this as the smartest route. Until it is acceptable for me to continue my life the way it is and still have children, I will not be having any.

I don't know why I would have to change for possible children I may have. Well, I know why, but I still find some of the standards set for parents are too archaic. I mean, a mother wolf doesn't hide the fact that she hunts and kills to survive from her cubs. She doesn't act like a duck 'til her cub is 3 years old, just so the other wolf mothers won't spread gosip about her in the break room.

Right now my son is almost 2, and I keep my lifestyle hidden for reasons that extend away from him. But if in the future he expressed a problem with it, I would explain it and talk to him about it. I wouldn't shut him down at all

You know what? I am a firm believer that not taking care of your life BEFORE you reproduce is reckless and cruel. If you want to keep your fast lifestyle then please get sterilized/use protection every time.

Then again I'm also a believer that we're gravely overpopulated and that unless you can assure that the child will always be happy always always always then you are entitled to one child. But you have to take a test first. Ah, in a perfect world...

I believe that children should always come before your lifestyle.

Myn son was raised with my beliefs and there for he is part of them, he attended all the childrens festivals along with me any time we had an open ritual there was also a childrens ritual to go along with it.

As a single parent to a 20 year old I did make changes to my lifestyle stopped hanging out with friends who were only interested in partying, drinking, partying myself and carrying blades {knives} etc and also made sure when friends family visited they followed the rules I had set up but I did not completely loose or give up all that is the person I am just because I became a parent and the only parent my son ever had instead made the changes that I believed had to be made to accommodate my son even thought both sets of parents and his sperm donor along with friends believed I should have gotten an abortion or gave him up but was able to still see and do the things I didn't give up by doing them while he was sleeping or getting a sitter and as he grew older rearranged my schedule to fit his that way was mom and/or dad when he was home from school and on weekends except for 1 night in which had a sitter but was always there when he got up in the morning except when had to work nights while he was sleeping
Yes as a parent we do have to adjust our lives to let in our children but as long as you remember and can keep balance between the roles of a parent and the roles of your own self separate but not hidden and able as your child{ren} grow older about your lifestyle no matter what it is but as long as you can keep it in balance and or introduce it to your child{ren} but not all lifestyles you will want to do this such as {BDSM] but can talk to them about it your choice of lifestyle so that they will have an understanding of who you are when not being a parent and that also they will know that there is more to you besides being mom dad
just as we have to do when they grow older and develop their own lifestyle that is separate from being our son or daughter

Risque has the right idea...you don't have to change who you are, but you should change the people around you, if you have nothing but friends whos sole purpose is to get wasted every night , this is not the lifestyle you want around your child(ren) unless you like dealing with DCF every month. But you can still be who you are while being a parent at the same time.

My children are number one in my life, so if I had to change anything in order to keep them you better bet your ass I would...

your children should be your everything
when you are raising kids...
you life evolves around them...
you had your chance to be selfish BEFORE...
now you are responsible for them

I feel once you decide to have children then they are what become most Valued adn important to you.
Lifestyles can always be changed or altered to meet your needs, yet, it should not ever come before your child / children they did not ask to be born and well it is just my opinion as to once they are here then it all changes. Period.

Well now, I see both side of this quite well. You see I am a mother and as a mother have had to make decisions and changes in my life for the benefit of my child. I would do and change anything to see that she is safe, protected and loved. She comes first no matter what. I also see the other side because my parents didn't do their best to protect, care for and love their children. And wouldn't make changes to their lives nor with themselves for the safety, sanity, or health of their children. And that is sad because most children if not guided don't usually have the strenght needed to overcome the obstacles they face in life. How can you be blessed with a child and not change and do all you possibly can for them when so many in this world would give anything to have a child and can't?

This really is rather simple. If you wish the lifestyle above all..then refrain from having children. If children are what you seek, then know that this is just like the old adage of...."you cannot have your cake and eat it too."

They come first. Everything else is second.

I agree with the majority of everyone else if you bring a child into this world they are your responsibilty. I f you need to modify or change your lifestyle there would be no question Your child did not ask you "Can I be born ". Now once they are grown up and are old enough to make it on there own or know right from wrong that is different. I feel it is our place as parents to sacrifice what ever needs to be done . if that may be friends, or other thingsso be it. Behavior and actions are learnt in the home. By all means if you want to stay a parent put your child first.

For what its worth...I have 3 kids all pretty much grown up.
I have seen all sorts of kids grow up in all sorts of enviroments there is no solution for all. The biggest breaker is mom and dad knocking chunks out of each other so NEVER DO THAT! My father was an ex head master and he agrees.
He has seen all manner of F***ed up children.

They are all individuals and as parents one has to read and bend to their needs.

My kids are fine buts the real dilemma is telling them...errrrm you might end up a little bit like dad...particularly when you see it in them.
1. Do you fid other people stupid
2. Do you run circles aroud them
3. Do you feed from their attention/energy
4. Are you physically superior
5. Do you have odd eyes and teeth
6. Do you sense that others do not

As an overview spend time with them, introduce them to walks and fishing etc it heals all manner of ills whereas an XBox will kill them.Grrrr...

And so on and so forth...

kids first every tme no matter what

lifestyle can be addapted and adult can addapt to suit the children's need, and environement.

So no excuse, till they are old enought to make sens of the lifestyle then it should be adults who addapt so the children's growth mental, emotional and physical is sain and safe.

-listens for i am a child (ok a teen)-

I agree with serenity I am a mother of 3 small one from aged 2 to 7 and they no nothing of my lifestyle and they will not know until they are mature enough to understand. You have to put them first nothing else matters. During the day I am at my children's beck and call, school stuff, pto meetings,reading to them. When there sleep I am free to express myself. My children are to carry on my beliefs if they so choose, so I have to set a good example.

I agree with said post above. I have 3 kids of my own as well and my lifestyle is rather normal. We don't have any expressed religions or live it any different than most people do, but if we did and it was effecting any of my children, of course they would come first hands down. Any true parent who loves their kids, wouldn't question it :)

funny thing is you would not have "regular sex or sexual related or adult related attitude or actions" in front of children, so the lifestyle is the same, once the kids are away or alseep or not there, then you can resum the lifstyle, until they are old enough to understand.

I will say it.... Any parent that would place their child second to the parents lifestyle doesn't deserve the privilege of being a parent. You are supposed to guide them down the right path, not the path that would be most entertaining to you.

When you have kids, you KNOW that there are thing you cannot do anymore. You KNOW what it is you SHOULD be doing what your NOT SUPPOSE to be doing. If you are not ready to change close your fucking legs or and keep the dick in the pants, otherwise give up your kid. Its better for them to sit in an orphanage (and no I dont like that idea) than to be neglected or mistreated because you are a piss poor parent.


I have seen neglect as a child, and as a child you dont see thing clearly. My mother just got out a bad relationship with my stepfather becasue he wasnt willing to change for the sake of the kids. Why didnt she leave sooner, many people ask that (9 years she was with him) because she didnt have the means and she was thinking of the kids.

He got high and emotionally abused everyone, went out to parties, when my twin sisters were born (i was 10) he locked them a room all day while he got high with his brother and had his mom come over and clean and take care of his kids. It went on for a year till he moved us out to bfe. He told my mom to go back to school and she quit her job to come here with him. Therefore she did not have the means to leave at this point when her eyes finally opened up to his bullshit. She had to keep food/shelter for her kids which i respect her for. They had another kid (a total accident because her medicine fucked with her birth control and she doesnt believe in abortion. He abused the newborn and his twin kids, got drunk, ect ... 9 years he didnt change, she finally got the means to leave and did.
Before she left(I was at the house packing and fully aware at this point because im older now and understand) he tried to get me drunk numerous times and get me smoke weed with him ..... i never told her this .....
A perfect example of people who either should be alone or fixed i hate to say it.

People know what to do as a parent they choose not to

As a parent and witness to what can happen when things go arise by others lack of judgement. I feel if you have to change a few things in order to raise your children properly then so be it. if you can either get the help to change or make the change on your own to better your childrens situation your nothing but a selfish individual and dont deserve to have kids in the first place.

I sincerely suspect that a person who is sociopathic would attempt to pass their behavior off as a lifestyle to their family, when in fact their behavior has nothing to do with their professed Lifestyle (lifestyles that commonly change frequently)


So when they are confronted for their unsuitable behavior to have kids around, they cry persecution for their alleged Lifestyle.

Such people dump so much on the actual subculture or lifestyle sadly. I am seeing articles from rational people that clearly address this though, that is encouraging. Nothing is more harmful to a person then to rally around someone who claims to be subject to Persecution over their Lifestyle, or subculture, only to discover it is a Behavioral matter.

without question, my children have come first. ive made sacrifices and have enjoyed knowing i have done everything in my power to keep my kids well-adjusted, educated and cared for in a safe environment.

anyone who puts themselves first before their children really should not be allowed to be a parent. the earliest years are the years that determine a persons later outlook and happiness in life.

that does not mean however, that one cannot educate their children in an age-appropriate manner on say spiritual beliefs, but there are things that no child should ever be exposed to.

...an afterthought... i would even put other peoples children before myself or my lifestyle.

i am afraid that if I have children I will ruin them and they will hate me

People who impose their Pet beliefs, and ideals on their children sicken me, using their children to impress their peers is pathetic.

Making their kids parrots. No different then zealots pressing radical dogma on their kids.


When I see people claim to be victims of prejudice because of their ideals, practices, or beliefs, I take pause, and consider that persons Behavior in general .

it is so easy to deny being Impulsive, and anything to shield ones lack of responsibility, and priorities will be exploited by such individuals.

it is a common denominator of those who compensate lack of Maturity, and personality with their assumed, and adopted identities. Shielding themselves from reality with often sensational, and gratuitous "commitment/devotions".

well said Dab. folk who impose ludicrous beliefs upon a child should be, well...shot maybe.

Pagan Tolerance does not extend to behavior perpetrated by people of faith. There is a line that is crossed, and sadly the children are exploited in the process. What motive, is there for drilling a child in such a manner, be it mainstream faith, or alternative beliefs?

was this thread about religions and freedom of religion or was it about the bdsm lifestyle?

cause I am getting confuse here... I was sure it was in the vr manual not to go on religions? maybe I am wrong....

I was going for the angle that any belief, or group identity can be imposed upon children. As for the BDSM lifestyle, it is rather obvious how that should be handled regarding children.

Same with Vampiric practices.

Children are aware to far more then parents expect. when a person acts out children see the aftermath.

Again claiming a Lifestyle to deny Behavior issues fools no one.

Immature activity under any pretense is grounds for a person to loss custody of their children, there are ways to conduct ones Hobbies, and Preferences, without exposing children, directly, or indirectly. That is the distinguished difference between a lifestyle practice , and Behavior Issues.

Anyone who witnesses a parent with suspect priorities has an obligation to report the adults behavior. The potential stigma to a child is reason enough to be concerned.

I think as parents you need to sit down and discuss your thoughts and feelings on all the important subjects in life that will involve your children. Compromise and formulate a plan of action and then stick to it. I see nothing wrong with bringing your children up within your belief and value system, as long as you also let them the freedom to explore and learn other ways for themselves. I think being a supportive parent is the most important aspect of parenting.