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i have a friend who is trying to learn how to meditate. she is having problems though. she doesn't know if she is or not. i don't know how else to help her. i have tried everything i can think of.
any help?

This is the first on I teach to any body because its easy and it works almost all the time.

Where ever you are make yourself comfortable sitting, feel your legs start to become one with the floor and as they do feel them push throw until they meet the earth and as they do push down far into the earth, feel them become like roots and start to branch out. Feel the cool earth deep down and the warmth of the earth closer to the grass. Now that you are like the roots of a tree start to push from your body all the negativity in your life out into the earth so it can be changed and purified. As you do that pull from the earth good clean energy to replace all that negative. After you no longer feel any negativity in you stay there as long as you like and when your ready to come back start to feel your legs come back to you and become your legs again.

Now this meditation can take any where from 15 minutes to 4 hours or more it all just depends on how long you want to go with it.

I meditate with legs crossed. palms up, and back straight. If something comes into my mind like maybe a worry, I take it and put it out a window in my mind. I just let my body and mind relax.

Nice guidance, but one thing is the most important thing of all, and crucial factor during ones meditation, and that one is the concetration.If yiou wish to recognise the meditation, and its benefits for your being than you should pay attention to the concetration during the meditation....

I've found that if you meditate for an extended period of time (aka like 2 or more hours) your mind tends to clear itself, and it becomes easier to focus and meditate more productively.

try just sitting back, close your eyes, play some soft reflecting music on low, and tell her to let her mind wander.

i dont wish the earth to inherit my negativity, if choosing to keep my negativity to myself makes me a hippy then so be it. the earth has enough problems.

alixaryon:

I don’t know if I would agree with your assessment of it pearsonaly but thats not to say your point is wrong mine is just differant. The point of meditations isn’t to force clarity on your self its to let it come to you. In forcing it you tend to lose it after a while if you let it come to you, you can hold it longer and longer every time and eventually it just stays with you forever. That’s Y most monks sit for hours on end doing nothing but listening to there own breathing. Its one of the may ways to become what they would call enlightened.

Energy is energy negitive positive its all the same to the earth it will make it what it needs if that means changing negitive to positive than it will do it as long as you respect the earth you cant hurt it no matter what you do to it.

I agree with werewolf... why must meditation be a process? Can one not find the opportunity to meditate in any setting where they can simply relax, close their mind off to the world and get lost in their own thoughts?

Heck, I used to do that sitting in a cublicle farm at a busy call-center.... can be very energizing when that 3rd cup of coffee is no longer keeping you going...

I always have a very hard time quieting my mind for prayer or meditation. My mind wants to race in thought and I am easily distracted.

I appreciate all the advice people have left in this thread. I will try some of these techniques.

Two words for you KC...

Head

Phones.

What I like to do, and what seems to help me..Is light a candle, and incense and then lay back on your back or however one is the most comfortable. Focus on a white light..if you start out, vision a small white ball. Start at your feet and work your way upward. Imagine the ball getting bigger. Breathe, relax..

I wis that would work birra!

But I'm so into music that I listen too intently trying to decipher the arrangement, hear key changes, note the orchestration that I still can't keep my mind quite!

I tried "natural" sounds once and it didn't seem to work eithe. Being alone "out in nature" in the woods, by the ocean etc. is one thing that works, but I can't always do that!

Before this turns into the ever old and tired "my way is better"...

I'm going to ask that people leave links to meditation sites, or descriptions of what they do. There are TOO many ways and not everyone will meditate in the same way.

Once the bickering restarts this thread will be closed.

Have your friend look at this Link

Ohhhhh silly sahahria, my dear friend.. I'm not trying to say the "my way is better".. just bringing up your point exactly...

..meditation is to a person what they want it to be. Everyone has their own way... what I see here are bunches of ways people can do it.. suggestions, to answer the original poster's question.

I like this thread.

And KC.. perhaps getting that into the music... getting lost in it and not thinking about anything else at that moment IS your meditation....

If I meditate(which is rarely),I lie down on bed,and forget totally about my body,I feel,hear and see with my soul.I go to a trip all around the world,only with my soul ofcourse.But my type of meditation is very dangerous,might be even deadly,since when the soul goes to the trip,it is connected with a thin rope(invisible and divine) and if something huge(like a gun shot or a little explosion or scream) will scare me-the rope might tear apart and I will die...:-
That's why I do it rarely...:-)

i dont mean to sound like my way is the only way i just didnt wanted to clearify from my first post so it was undersud better

The word it self has many different meanings. It may mean deep and sustained thinking or attention upon an idea or a problem.
It may signify a state of uninterrupted Silence and solitude, or a state of profound tranquility.
To some, meditation is a very mysterious and mystical thing and to others it is an absolute waste of time.

The term Transcendental Meditation seems to be simultaneously confusing, vaguely interesting and tantalizingly simple. When you the depth of meaning of the word itself you realize that it covers a wide area of activities of inner life. It is, without a doubt, a sustained thinking and attention, silence and solitude, peace and tranquility, contemplation and prayerful communion.
It is a lucid state of deep awareness in which both profound peace and wisdom abide simultaneously. It is the process by which the mind becomes un-wound and then transcends itself and enters into a higher consciousness. Meditation enables the individual to reach the inner realities which are hidden and formatted in normal conditions of the mind. If meditation is done properly it brings about an intergration of normal consciousness with its higher counterpart.

If you are going to do it correctly then you have to go in with the right frame of mind. You can't capture it by force, you do not get meditation, you receive it. You can generally slide into meditation just like you slide into sleep. Youhave to suspend all of your normal drives, like your ego and your will, passions and desires have to be set aside as well. Therefore the first correct attitude you must obtain if you are to do it correctly is one of patience and submission, of surrendering and opening your inner spirit.
You should not desire to want to obtain things from meditation....no super powers no ESP, nothing let the process be sufficient unto itself. In other words you have to have the right frame of mind..
You can not go into meditation if you are under stress, because you will not receive complete fulfillment, your heart has to be in tune with you mind.
If you want to be able to focus more in trying meditation then you should also focus on the things you do in everyday life. Focus on whatever it is you do, walking, running, driving a car, because these things are in a way themselves a meditative state of discipline which sharpens your senses.

try taken a floweral bath put incence near and the mediate usually the warmth of water n oils in you help relaxe you this does me when im doing my rituals.

Has your friend tried a different location? She may be in a space that isn't proper for her, and receiving negative energy, which causes confusion and false feelings.

I find I have more successful meditation as Skylla said..when everything is CLEAN.. clean space..clean body ..clearer mind. I choose to meditate at night before bedtime because its the time I am least likely to be disturbed by anything. I also find dim lighting or candles relaxing, I play soft music (instrumental so that I'm not inclined to sing along hehe), and burn incense. Some herbal/floral incense I have found to be most helpful in meditation are frankincense, honeysuckle, jasmine, lavender, and even cinnamon or patchouli. Everyone is different though so your friend will just have to keep trying different things to see what works for them.

There are several ways... I have read a couple books.
BUt I usually sit on the bed and put in a relaxation cd light a few candles and some incense.

Meditation is a method of self reflection and inner cleansing. You would only know if it is working if you are the one performing the meditation.

i agree with my bro alix....concentration is the most important thing...

also you need to have a quiet relaxing enviroment .....

One very helpful tip to all of these awesome responses is to make sure you are alone, the phone is disconnected, door shut, and nothing is turned on... then you concentrate in any position that is relaxing to you... but keep in mind if you lay down you cannot fall asleep... then you control your breathing and voila in the next few hours your mind will be clear and you problems will seem to disappear

The following are some techniques that will help. The first is to set a predetermined time for your sitting. Make this a quite time that you know for sure you will not be disturbed. The second is to set a time limit in advance that you will sit for. If you know you can only sit for twenty minutes then don't try to change this and make it two hours later, stick to your time limit. And allow yourself this time, this is a treat - not punishment.

The next is to relize what meditation is for. The meaning is different for many. Some will need this time to just relax, calm oneself. The other is to listen within. When we talk to God, we pray. When we listen to Him, it is meditation. This is way we need to quite our own mind chatter, so that we may listen. But remember, people mediate for different reasons, know your reason before you start. This will help with some for the chatter. Again I will remind you that this is not punishment or torture, give yourself permission to do this. Your inner child must understand that it is safe.

Your inner child or Ego will make it self known by many means. Not all will be idle talk. Your skin will itch, your stomach will make noise, your ears will ring, you will get jittery, you get the picture. This is all the inner child that thinks that it is endanger. It thinks that if it isn't paid attention to, it will no long exist. One way it help this child is not to fight it but to let it sit on your shoulder and let it watch. This technique is very helpful and can be used for other things later on.

This is the biggest help that you can get. The inner secrets, if you will. The other techniques that you can use is to count your breathes, follow your breathe, imagery also helps. Some people can not visionize so we always say imagine.

It sounds to me that if you have tried to help and teach her the rest is all about her...... She has to be able to clear her mind, and relax in a peaceful place....... Sometimes candles with mellow smells can help..... I dont mean to sound mean, but you can only help someone so much and the rest becomes all about them. If she wants to do it, she will do it. She just needs to find that bit of herself within that lets her relax.

Well, everyone meditates differently. Try doing something unique each time and see how it works.

I find that relaxation and concentration are key elements. Its a good thing to start with a few minutes at a time. Its hard to maintain focused concentration for longer than 15 min at first.

If your thoughts stray (and they will at first), just let them come and go. Pull yourself gently away from those thoughts.

Having a focus helps, some use mantras, others visualize an object and hold their focus that way to get rid of stray thoughts.

She needs to go to a place where she is the most relaxed. I like to go to where I was the happiest in the woods growing up. That way there are no distractions.

She has to find her own "space" for meditation. You can't just tell her how to do it. She has to experiment with different avenues.

stick with it and relax it is something you'r friend has to do on there own in time they will get it right

Hello everyone, when i mediate, i go into a dark room, or wait till the house is empty, turn on my favorite music, get a ice pack put it over my eyes and just sit and concentrate and relax

What, you mean she doesn't know if she is actually in a state of meditation or not? I'm not quite sure what you mean because of how you have phrased it.

It can be a hard habit to get into. Dtermination and concentration are the tools for this. I suggest staring into a crystal ball, imgining a candle flame, or sitting in a hot bath can all be very useful.

When I meditate it has to be when no one else is around or when they are asleep. Candles lit , eyes closed , legs crossed, palsms up on lap and a cleared mind. And no outside interuption.

I make it absolutely no secret that I can't meditate worth poo. I once talked to a mentor about it and she suggested an alternate activity.

So I work with gazing. With paintings I can use the gazing to move into the landscape in my mind. Gazing at walls will cause the shadows to construct into something in my mind.
More frequently I do gazing with water, but using flames works well too.

I do this instead of meditation. I value it and so do not greatly miss the meditation thing that others talk about doing.

Ok hopefully she isnt humming, humming was used to blobk out noises, to create a perfect hum people practiced taking long breaths to make a solid sounding non fluctuating hum. then spiritual individuals started making this hum a practice in meditation. Honestly keep the clear mind in mind without thinking about it. it's hard but I can meditate before a Dream then realize im dreaming when I am then do what ever the f*ck I want when Im in that state.you can also look up this on a book called * Out Of Body Experience*

I'm glad this question was brought up. I have tried for years & pretty much gave up on meditation. My mind wonders way to much. It's good to see everyones advice & tips! It still makes me curious, since I have tried for so long, with no luck. Is it possible that some people just can't do this, & maybe they can't because it's not something their body & mind needs?

I have found that the hardest thing is relaxation. I begin with closing my eyes and forcing myself to breath more slowly. I feel my heart beat slowing down and then I think of something that is consistant.... like the ocean. I then do the thing with relaxing my feet and then legs...etc...

for me, meditation is a state of mind... where things come to me of their own fre will...

As you can see in my profile, I am a Martial Artist.

We use meditation in class all the time.
The method we use in our class is the following.

Imagine your mind as a pond filled with water. Every thought in your mind creates ripples in the surface of the pond.
Imagine the water in the pond slowly becoming more and more still. If done correctly you will notice your mind becoming more and more quiet by the minute.

I use this technique about 30 times a day.
I have been doing this for years and i becomes easier with practice, trust me.

Tell your friend to keep trying and i hope my technique will help her.

meditation works sometimes but not always. just picture yourself someplace else.

Awesome DarkAngel81. You are the first person that has given a useful answer to that question rather than the old cryptic "you have to learn it yourself". I tried that and it worked. thanks.

You are very welcome, Milady Ravenna.

I believe in sharing knowledge.

yes...what actually works is a calm quiet white or light colored room at night with the lights dimmed or if not possible off....and a soothing fragrence.....and not eating for about 3 hours and the relax and meditate for an hour or so without worrying about the time

Meditation can be done in many different ways. You can calm your self, raise or slow your heart rate in concentration. My meditation deals with speeding up my heart rate and other body parts. Thus I call it "Speeding". I forcibly concentrate on raising my heart rate and other body parts to a level that is so severe that most people I have suggested this to have not been able to succeed. When I do this I reach a level concentration that I am one with myself and can remain in that state for a long period of time. Though I lock myself in a room to keep others away from me. The one and only time I was disturbed while doing this threw off my concentration and sent me to the restroom vommiting. I lost a lot of energy that day. It wasn't pretty. If you don't like my way try the old fashiond way, it does work, just not as well for me.

thanks to everyone for your help.

hoe exsactly do you center your self i cant quite ever get consentrated enough whould someone give me a suggestion

something that really works for me is called the white sphere. maybe you've heard of it.

sit on a small pillow, crossing your legs. sit with a straight back, and your arms relaxed either in your lap, or at your sides. close your eyes and breathe and relax. in your mind, imagine your self in a small white globe. it surrounds you, and fills your mind, and thats all you think about. then, after you have that under control, imagine that orb being pushed out, and filling everything, till you and your mind are one with the white light. relax, and continue this till you feel completely relaxed.

I have done the white sphere and it is good but it also helps to think of a place that is most comfortable for you and where you were happy it gives you a safe place to start from. The most important think is just relaxing though and letting it happen

Meditation is basically relaxation of the body so imagine yourself in a total relaxed place, relax and clear your mind.

I too have had no luck meditating...I'm not quite sure how but if I did I would give my advice.

i have a problem meditating myself i cant seem to relax enough and clear my mind to be able to do it

Proper breathing exercises are important. Inhale through your nose, hold that breath for a second or two, and exhale through your mouth, imagining all your stress going out of your body with the breath.