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Joli's Journal


Joli's Journal

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36 entries this month
 

23:42 Jul 31 2011
Times Read: 632


Ahhhh summer. This innovative product from the 80's can help you pump up that all-important glowing tan.


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COMMENTS

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PAGAN
PAGAN
00:09 Aug 01 2011

Where do you find these things? hahaha!



That's so much less uncomfortable in every sense than a tapeworm so I guess I could live with it. Besides, flies wouldn't stick to the tanning lotion. Knowing my luck I'd get locked in... LOL





 

16:30 Jul 29 2011
Times Read: 662


Need to lose a few pounds? Who doesn't? Lucky for us, our wise ancestors figured out the perfect solution to that bulging waistline. Look at the promises of no diets, no danger, and no ill effects. WOW! The line forms behind me!


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COMMENTS

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Joli
Joli
16:33 Jul 29 2011

Prunes, coffee, macaroni, and canned tomatoes? Really? These were your troubles? Even fat was simpler in those times :)





PAGAN
PAGAN
16:40 Jul 29 2011

Tapeworm jar-packed?



...and whaddya do, just swallow it? What if it doesn't stop you growing (at a reasonable size), what then? EEEW! Think I'd rather grow large. That has to be the most disgusting remedy ever.



"...no ill effects..."??? I'm ill right now just thinking about it.





PAGAN
PAGAN
16:43 Jul 29 2011

"...no diet, no baths, no exercise..." no wonder the previous generation have all passed LOL



Can you tell I'm totally grossed out?



@.@





Joli
Joli
22:27 Jul 29 2011

Geez, Pagan! It says right there, "easy to swallow." Besides...thy're SANITIZED! What's your problem?





PAGAN
PAGAN
23:12 Jul 29 2011

I'm completely horrified....Just imagine trying to swallow one of these things...I'd rather douche with lysol...

and.

a mop.



;)





Requiem
Requiem
01:45 Jul 30 2011

No problems until the tapeworm ... breeds ... in your guts and spawns thousands and you die in a few days.





Certainly won't have to worry about fat, then!





Joli
Joli
03:22 Jul 30 2011

Oh, Req...what you just did. When Pagan comes back and reads that...






Sulks
Sulks
23:47 Jul 31 2011

oh blimey. When PAGAN reads that shes gonna pass out...that was something she hadn't even considered...Sulks is having a hard time swallowing that too Req.





PAGAN
PAGAN
23:54 Jul 31 2011

*dies*





ChasingTheGhost
ChasingTheGhost
05:22 Aug 01 2011

Mmmm... Tape Worms! They are even mailed for free.





 

19:02 Jul 27 2011
Times Read: 707


Fun With Writing


Everyone who looks at a scene sees it a little differently than their neighbor. What has happened in this wonderful old vintage photo? What led to this moment? What is about to happen? Are they speaking to one another? Is this a comedy or a drama?


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You supply the story or caption that goes with this vintage image. Let's see how many different views we get!

COMMENTS

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Gordonx
Gordonx
19:12 Jul 27 2011

The dog and the female slept the night together and now she's pregnant. The dog is trying to comfort her and saying, It is ok. You don't need to worry.





Sulks
Sulks
19:15 Jul 27 2011

this reminded me of...



A Midsummer Night's Dream



"What thou seest when thou dost wake,

Do it for thy true-love take,

Love and languish for his sake:

Be it ounce, or cat, or bear,

Pard, or boar with bristled hair,

In thy eye that shall appear

When thou wakest, it is thy dear:

Wake when some vile thing is near
".





Joli
Joli
19:22 Jul 27 2011

Wonderful quote, Sulks. She could have been Oberoned!





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
19:53 Jul 27 2011

I think of Goldilocks and the Three Bears fairy tale.



"It is alright Goldilocks- we can share the bed" says the little bear as Goldilocks looks outside, not wanting to leave the little cabin in the woods.





BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
20:11 Jul 27 2011

She's thinking, ''where the hell did I put my slippers?"





Morrigon
Morrigon
20:14 Jul 27 2011

"Don't worry hon... He'll call."





Sulks
Sulks
21:19 Jul 27 2011

paws, for reflection...





Requiem
Requiem
00:19 Jul 28 2011

"It's ok ... the witch said the potion would wear off when I got love's first true kiss! Go ahead and kiss me! .... Honey? ... Honey, aren't you going to kiss me?"





LiamK
LiamK
02:49 Jul 29 2011

A bed on wheels, white linens, white gown, no pillows, no bedside table. Bare linoleum floor, bare concrete walls, judging by the light from the window no drapes or space for personal effects.

A girl staring out the window, idle in an empty, dingy room. With an improbable-seeming bear hovering familiarly over one shoulder, just beyond the edge of her vision. And a crucifix around her neck.



Sanitarium. No contest.





Nightgame
Nightgame
18:28 Jul 29 2011

Bear says: I'm not sorry I ate your boyfriend he didnt treat you right at all.





Elemental
Elemental
19:37 Jul 29 2011

I think Liam is on the right track.



For the over"bear"ing times of your life....let go and let us take care of you.





 

18:38 Jul 27 2011
Times Read: 723


I was reading about the naked mole rat. That's what made me smile about a nekky birthmarked VW. I was picturing the Marilyn Monroe of rats.


This little critter is no looker, though. (Unless you're a lonely mole rat.) It's crazy strange, and really interesting. They have queens and a hierarchy of workers. They are the longest lived rodents...28 years. They have no pain receptors in their skin. They're not endangered, though to look at them, you'd think there's no way they could survive.


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Perhaps most interesting is that they seem to be immune to cancer. Their genes are being studied. Perhaps they'll unlock some answers to our questions about long life, pain, and curing cancer.


COMMENTS

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PandorasBx
PandorasBx
18:41 Jul 27 2011

Hmmm, interesting info, it's amazing what the creatures around us can offer to our science and technology. Maybe the answers are just that simple, they are right in front of us.





Sulks
Sulks
18:44 Jul 27 2011

woah thats a strange looking animal. Awesome though to know that creatures like that exist and could well be the key to understanding some types of suffering. My mind is literally boggling at this...





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
19:48 Jul 27 2011

That would be great, if it could help heal cancer. :)



I could almost give it a kiss for that.



:)





Nightgame
Nightgame
18:30 Jul 29 2011

Thank goodness VW doesn't look like this for real!





 

20:31 Jul 26 2011
Times Read: 759


Clue:

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COMMENTS

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PandorasBx
PandorasBx
20:38 Jul 26 2011

That's one scary looking rat....or is it a MOLE!





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
20:43 Jul 26 2011

MOLE! That can't be a rat... right?





BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
21:33 Jul 26 2011

Well it sure not the tooth fairy!!





LadyKrystalynDarkstar
LadyKrystalynDarkstar
21:52 Jul 26 2011

holey MOLEY





Requiem
Requiem
23:19 Jul 26 2011

VOLE!





Joli
Joli
01:21 Jul 27 2011

rat AND mole are on the right track.



Remember, VampireWitch with a birthmark and no clothes on :)





faeriemoon
faeriemoon
02:44 Jul 27 2011

Mole Rat!





Joli
Joli
03:44 Jul 27 2011

Yes...the naked mole rat!





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
19:49 Jul 27 2011

Any my...what big teeth it has. :)



Nice game, FM got it!!






 

19:33 Jul 26 2011
Times Read: 776


Awww...no guesses :(


COMMENTS

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Requiem
Requiem
19:38 Jul 26 2011

My belated guess: she'd be naked. O.o





PAGAN
PAGAN
19:49 Jul 26 2011

yep would have said nekkid.





 

16:56 Jul 26 2011
Times Read: 799


Riddle:


If VW has a birthmark and she takes off all her clothes, what would she be?


COMMENTS

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Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
17:11 Jul 26 2011

O.o



Uhh... well... gees... how did this riddle come about?








 

18:18 Jul 25 2011
Times Read: 840


Do you live in a highrise apartment complex? Do you have a baby? Boy, do I have the product for you!


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Here's the manufacturer's description: Baby Cage, attached outside window for baby to get natural sunlight and fresh air when living in a high-rise tenement block


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This could have saved Michael Jackson a lot of grief.


COMMENTS

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Sulks
Sulks
18:31 Jul 25 2011

No freaking way! LOL!



hahaha! I lived in an upstairs apartment with my kids but, no way in hell would I have ever considered that! hahaha!





Joli
Joli
18:33 Jul 25 2011

I'm trying to picture Lucy putting Little Ricky in there.





Morrigon
Morrigon
18:34 Jul 25 2011

Hahahah!



Why change out of your house robe and take you child outside when you can put them in a window cage?





BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
19:49 Jul 25 2011

Do they do ones for animals? :-p





Sulks
Sulks
21:04 Jul 25 2011

that first baby looks mean...he's got what looks like an iron bar in his hand...heh...cages turn even the loveliest of babies into thugs obviously...





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
00:01 Jul 26 2011

Sees a image of the baby taking his bottle, running it along the bars, singing...



Nobody knows the trouble I have seen...





Requiem
Requiem
00:22 Jul 26 2011

... Right. First you infect my dreams with Lysol Douche ... Now ... Baby Jailbreakers.



o.o





...





::sigh::





Joli
Joli
00:57 Jul 26 2011

That woman looks kinda Jacobs Ladder-ish, doesn't she?





birra
birra
17:06 Jul 26 2011

Kind of looks like a lobster trap...



We're movin' on up!

(Movin' on up!)

To the East side

To a dee-lux apartment, in the sky-eye-eye!





 

PRIVATE ENTRY

04:18 Jul 21 2011
Times Read: 851


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •


 

20:22 Jul 20 2011
Times Read: 878


I wonder if this avatar would lend a different tenor to poetry. I may have to post something.


COMMENTS

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Sulks
Sulks
20:26 Jul 20 2011

how now brown cow maybe?



LOL



Yeah! We want a poem! :D



BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
20:32 Jul 20 2011

Don't they say it's what's inside that counts? ... and who's 'they'?!!!!

You may need milking but we need a poem.





ChasingTheGhost
ChasingTheGhost
00:39 Jul 21 2011

brown chicken brown cow ( sexiest animals on the farm)... I'm rather excited about this tease of a poem to come.





birra
birra
14:45 Jul 22 2011

Wow... Chasing, that was almost a porn beat you had going there...



Bown-chika-chika-bown-boooowwnnn





 

00:00 Jul 19 2011
Times Read: 903


Kinda odd, but I can't seem to write anything serious with this avatar. It feels like a pole-dancing cow with a prominent and wigglish sexy bit is talking in my voice... As though a jester were capering about in your home and office, jingling and voicing over everything you said, and lobbing the occasional pie. So, pardon me for a while if I wield only puns and jibes, but...


The cow, she make-a me smile.


COMMENTS

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DarkCrystal
DarkCrystal
20:29 Jul 20 2011

Hey! That's the same porn xxx cow on my profile!





 

23:26 Jul 18 2011
Times Read: 911


Ah, Requiem for a dream. Alas.


You're cute for a badger, but my wiggly bits belong to anudder.


;)


COMMENTS

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Requiem
Requiem
23:36 Jul 18 2011

o.o





I so meant the other journal entry.







NOT the kiss one.





XD Ooooooops ....





But leaving you speechless was fantastic.





Joli
Joli
23:37 Jul 18 2011

Shhhhh...allow me the dream a little longer.





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
00:09 Jul 19 2011

O.O



I will just leave you two alone now...



*backs away*





RedQueen
RedQueen
02:18 Jul 19 2011

step AWAY from the animals.....



*backs up slowly so as not to disturb the flapping bits...*





 

19:51 Jul 17 2011
Times Read: 955


Changed my avatar. Oh yeah, dream for me, Requiem. Mmmmmoo, baby...moooooo!


COMMENTS

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Requiem
Requiem
21:04 Jul 17 2011

...





If I dream of stripper cows eating my fig tree you are so gonna get a visitor.





Be told, woman. Be told.





BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
21:08 Jul 17 2011

Call that an avatar? Pull the udder one!





Requiem
Requiem
00:41 Jul 18 2011

I keep coming back and giggling.



Hehe. :D





 

08:00 Jul 17 2011
Times Read: 992


Cooked a big pot of jambalaya and some smothered green beans and potatoes - cajun style. I made a stock from the chicken bones and tomorrow, I will make gumbo. I also want to bake blueberry banana muffins.


It was a wonderful day even though it was filled with common things like cleaning, shopping, driving my daughter and her boyfriend, and cooking. It was a peaceful day filled with love and things to do.


:)


COMMENTS

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Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
16:39 Jul 17 2011

AKA- the best days. :)





birra
birra
18:30 Jul 17 2011

And... sounds like a delicious day.



I love jambalaya. I will have to make some soon.



And seafood gumbo.



mmmm....





Joli
Joli
18:58 Jul 17 2011

I'm making chicken and andouille gumbo :)





 

06:58 Jul 16 2011
Times Read: 1,050


Stabb: Could you turn off the lawn sprinkler?

Me: Soon as it stops raining. I promise!


COMMENTS

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Oceanne
Oceanne
14:03 Jul 16 2011

LOL... I laughed out loud when I read this Joli.If you only knew how often this happens here.I turn on several different sprinkler systems for the horses and the 3000 lb Holstein steer TBone, when it hits a certain temp...then later, a storm will whip up ,complete with thunder and lightning.If I cant get out there in time to shut them down , the sprinklers just stay on,sprinkling away.

Horses and lightning really do not mix,so I have to wait till it stops raining!





birra
birra
19:54 Jul 16 2011

Reminds me of a past job... it was at an "everything' type store that had a gardening department. I was one of the only people capable of doing every job in the store, so I went where needed.



A manager asked me to go outside and water the plants... while it was raining...



Me: But, it's raining.

Manager: The plants need to be watered.

Me: I think it's being taken care of for us.



...so a few minutes later when I was outside watering plants in the rain...



Customer: Why are you watering the plants while it's raining?

Me: Because managers are never wrong.

Customer: I guess not, but they are idiots.

Me: Yes, but as long as it's raining, the idiot won't be out here with me....

Customer: Good call.






meeper
meeper
02:36 Jul 17 2011

lol Birra!





Joli
Joli
06:45 Jul 17 2011

LOVE it!





 

07:45 Jul 15 2011
Times Read: 1,093


You crazy, wack Victorians! Following on the heels of our Hysteria Horsey, tonight we visit The Vibrator! Feast your eyes on this excerpt from a great podcast I susbscribe to called "Stuff Your Mom Never Told You." This particular episode is called, "What's the Buzz on Vibrators?" GReat podcast about tons of subjects done in a fun and entertaining format.



How many of you would like to get your hands on this piece of kit? Check the accessories. Shhhh...curb your hysteria...don't have a paroxysm...


Photobucket



For centuries, doctors were troubled by the problem of female hysteria. Patients presented with symptoms like irritability, headaches, insomnia, depression, stomachaches and weepiness. The earliest doctors attributed these symptoms to the uterus, and they advised married women to have sex to get their reproductive organs to settle down! Single and widowed women were told to enjoy vigorous horseback rides and long, rickety train excursions.


Eventually, doctors began performing massages of the external genitalia for these female hysterics. The end result? The women would experience paroxysm, which allowed them to relax and sleep at night. Get your mind out of the gutter — evidence suggests that doctors found this as arousing as a root canal. In fact, the doctors would get so tired of performing this service that they leapt at the chance to acquire mechanical vibrating devices that could do the job for them. A good vibrator became essential to most medical practices, and also to most homes — catalogues from the turn of the 20th century show that these appliances were marketed extensively to women. And again, none of the advertisements were sexy or suggestive; owning a vibrator was like owning a bottle of Tylenol.




So hop up on that dryer. Ride that Harley. No shame...it's doctor's orders. Oh, and you DO know how to clean up after, yes? We need you fresh and dainty in time for dinner when Dave comes home from a hard day's work!


COMMENTS

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Pantomime
Pantomime
08:07 Jul 15 2011

I've read something like this before. :P Doctors messed their wrists up doing it by hand, so someone invented a mechanical one to do it for them.

I wonder how they discovered it was relaxing in the first place...





BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
08:29 Jul 15 2011

*sighs*, the good old days the good old days.....





birra
birra
12:59 Jul 15 2011

The tongue is much less likely to suffer from carpal-tunnel issues.



Just saying...





PAGAN
PAGAN
15:41 Jul 15 2011

well...I was going to say something but Birra distracted me there LOL



If there was a mechanical 'fix' for anything the Victorians invented it...Not sure the accessories look anything other than harmful though - or a bit like diving helmets maybe...? o.O






Joli
Joli
16:10 Jul 15 2011

See that birra guy? Cottage Industry man, he is. Thinking outside the box. And willing to lick inside the box...you heard it here first, ladies. It is only fair, though. He has swelled us all into a vexing state of hysteria with his seductive dance of man-love! I haven't felt fresh, dainty, or willing to cook dinner in a week.





Requiem
Requiem
01:17 Jul 16 2011





 

07:33 Jul 15 2011
Times Read: 1,100


Waiting up for my daughter to get home from the Harry Potter premiere. She paid a tattoo artist $5 to draw the "dark mark" on her wrist. It looked pretty cool, but it's late and I'm worrying.


COMMENTS

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BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
07:38 Jul 15 2011

That's a mother for you. I'm sure she'll be home soon.





Joli
Joli
07:48 Jul 15 2011

Yeah. It was the midnight show, so it's not even over yet.





BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
08:26 Jul 15 2011

I like your motherly ways, kinda suits you.





 

02:12 Jul 15 2011
Times Read: 1,146


Cure that hysteria, women! Get one of these babies.


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And when you're done, don't neglect your "gums"

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COMMENTS

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Joli
Joli
02:29 Jul 15 2011

Hey, the guys have mechanical bull-riding. Let's have a Hysteria Horse competition. First gal whose toes curl WINS! Hey, it promotes health...I'm doing it for my circulation.





Don't judge me.





Morrigon
Morrigon
03:23 Jul 15 2011

Hysteria. That's amazing.





Lullaby
Lullaby
05:30 Jul 15 2011

"Gum massager"



Heh. Eheh.





PAGAN
PAGAN
15:46 Jul 15 2011

"...trot, canter, gallop......"??? O.M.G.



stagnation of the liver? hysteria? gout?



inspiriting action?????????????



thank goodness they invented horses LMAO!





 

18:08 Jul 14 2011
Times Read: 1,176


Dood...how much more can possibly be in there?!!!


Guy in my lobby is STILL blowing his nose. He's done it more than a half dozen times...not little honks, mind you. Long, full blows where he begins at a tall standing position and ends up kind of bowed over. Can you die of over-blowing? Will that kleenex make it? Will we need to call for a mop? Oh god, he is still going.


COMMENTS

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Morrigon
Morrigon
18:10 Jul 14 2011

It's weird how loud it can get.





Joli
Joli
18:21 Jul 14 2011

I was kinda worried he'd faint. That's got to rip up your blood pressure.





BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
19:35 Jul 14 2011

You sure about which end the noises are coming from?





placidchaos
placidchaos
05:27 Jul 18 2011

I'll tell you from experience, there seems to be no limit. When I get a really bad sinus infection, I'll spend half my time blowing my nose, but there is always more! I swear it feels like there's a mucus faucet running in my nose at those times.





Joli
Joli
20:38 Jul 18 2011

I've got some insulating foam in a can...I could fix that leak right up!





 

17:35 Jul 14 2011
Times Read: 1,188


Morrigon should come with a warning label. I just sat down to lunch at work and logged into VR. I checked my Last 10 and journal comments...YAY! there's journal comments. Oooh, they're in the last entry on Lysol douching.


I take a bite of my delicious muffeletta foccacia and read the comments. They are all sammich safe UNTIL I hit Morrigon's. Can sandwich crumbs go up your nose? I now know that they definitely can spew unprofessionally out of my mouth. Glass windows in my office... volunteers want to know what's so funny. *glances at Morri's comment* Uh.....


COMMENTS

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Morrigon
Morrigon
17:38 Jul 14 2011

Well it's true.





Joli
Joli
17:46 Jul 14 2011

No question. I think in describing scent, the less clinical word selection of "dick" is what broke me.





Morrigon
Morrigon
18:11 Jul 14 2011

Hehe well I think the "dick" term applies both to the attitude of a man who feels that way, and his unfortunate genitalia.





 

03:41 Jul 14 2011
Times Read: 1,221


More help for your special dainty freshness. Hope you're douching with Lysol, ladies. Apparently, EVERYTHING depends on it!



Photobucket


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I'm afraid I'm fascinated with these ads. I actually have even more of them. They range from the 1920's to the 1950's. I simply cannot get enough of the Lysol douche.


COMMENTS

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ThothLestat
ThothLestat
03:58 Jul 14 2011

*prints these out*

*puts them on Mrs. Thothy's pillow*



I'mma leave these right here...





Sulks
Sulks
07:12 Jul 14 2011

LOL Thoth!





Requiem
Requiem
13:24 Jul 14 2011

In later news, MrsThothy drew a rather deep bath of Lysol douching solution and MrThothy has no idea why he was thrown in ...





Morrigon
Morrigon
13:29 Jul 14 2011

Yes Dave, because your dick smells like a meadow of flowers after a hot day sitting behind a desk.





 

18:22 Jul 13 2011
Times Read: 1,257


Because I am so distracted, I will leave you with this little blast from the past. I love their expressions!

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COMMENTS

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PAGAN
PAGAN
18:29 Jul 13 2011

HAWT! Not!

Good grief, hahaha!



slenderize exactly where you want...easy to inflate... that's sold it to me LOL





Joli
Joli
18:34 Jul 13 2011

I wonder if you inflate them after they're on...you must if they fit all sizes (which I doubt they do.) If so, you'd need help.



They left out, "Not to be used as a flotation or life-saving device. Results are not typical and will vary" Ah, the golden days of yesteryear when stupid disclaimers were just a gleam in the lawyer's eyes.





PAGAN
PAGAN
18:58 Jul 13 2011

...or a pulling device Joli...Just imagine getting ready for a first date...need to lose a few inches...suddenly there's a knock at the door and you're stuck in 'em...





birra
birra
19:23 Jul 13 2011

Ribbed... for her pleasure...





Requiem
Requiem
00:06 Jul 14 2011

ACK! I had to wonder ... panties or no panties? SQUUEEEAAAAAKKKKK ... and what if you fart in them?







The sound alone would make me giggle for HOURS.





CarnelianMyst
CarnelianMyst
01:10 Jul 14 2011

AAU approved? AwfulAwfulUnderwear? lol





Joli
Joli
02:53 Jul 14 2011

You guys are funnier than the ad!





ThothLestat
ThothLestat
03:40 Jul 14 2011

GIRD YOUR LOINS, Swingers!!



Just think how swell these would look with a cape!





 

18:11 Jul 13 2011
Times Read: 1,260


Working from home today. Need to focus. Can't get my head in the game. I have to finish my newsletter, order software, get my Family Partnership packets finished...


When I started at the Center, I was a Program Coordinator and focused only on the people in need. I really struggled with the decision to accept being Director. I have so much more administrative work and less actual face time with clients.


The advantage of this position is that I really get to be in a decision-making role, helping to shape the vision and direction of this ministry, helping it to grow. I do miss my old job sometimes, though.


I need a magic elixir that would turn my mind from distractions and bend it back to the work at hand.


COMMENTS

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birra
birra
19:24 Jul 13 2011

Order software? Arrroo?





Joli
Joli
19:48 Jul 13 2011

Now you know I wouldn't be out there cheating on you. It's Sales Force and we qualify to get it free because we're a charity. *smooch*



If we exchange the green, you know we'll look to Aspire first. Especially when the president is willing to give us lady customers such special attention. *tucks a dollar in the waistband under the thrusting belly*





 

You are how you sleep.

19:36 Jul 11 2011
Times Read: 1,304


I was talking with a friend today who struggles with night terrors, and was reminded of what my nights used to be like. They were my secret shame. I never talked about it, but anyone who ever slept with me was aware that I had trouble with normal sleep. I felt like something was wrong with me.


I hated sleeping over at a friend's house. College roommates, relationships, hotel rooms, hospital rooms, campers, tents, summer camp...TERROR that fed on itself because I'd have to sleep. Odd that I would be ashamed of what I couldn't help, but I was.


When I was a teenager, I began having nightmares. They escalated and eventually, my mom sent me to counseling to try to work through the problem. There are a lot of reputable counselors out there, unfortunately, this one was not and we'll leave it at that.


Various medications had varying effects, sometimes eliminating the dreaming, but replacing it with fatigue and hazy days where your feet feel like they're dragging in sand. If you go far enough back in my journal, you'll see some evidence of the bad dreams if you know how to look.



A few years ago, a friend and I thought that what was going on might simply be an issue with the way I was falling asleep. I'm a happy and well-adjusted person and I really didn't think I was working demons out in my sleep. We noticed that I seemed to begin dreaming really fast, almost as soon as my eyes closed. I'd wake up gasping, and would continue this throughout the night.


My dear friend, Liam, is a music person. He doesn't just like music...if you cut him, he bleeds musical notes. He scoured the world and found something that has changed my life - delta waves. They are the waves associated with deep sleep. I listen to interesting and soothing delta wave music when I close my eyes. I "drift down" slowly into sleep in what I believe is a more natural way. I am relaxed in the morning and refreshed. My mind is sharp...well, it's a relative thing, you know.


Sleep can't be underestimated. I trudged through and did my best to stay upbeat, but it's a strain when you're tired and worried about falling asleep. It becomes a vicious circle...I'd fall asleep only when I was exhausted and the more exhausted I was, the faster I'd hit REM and be gasping awake again.


If this is an issue for you, I can suggest some files that might help you. Or you can just google delta waves and sleep. Sometimes our brains need a little help resetting themselves and I love that there are simple, non-invasive approaches we can try.


Thank you again, Liam. For helping me find peaceful sleep again and for so many reasons, I love you.


COMMENTS

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Sulks
Sulks
19:46 Jul 11 2011

A really helpful and encouraging journal Joli. :)





VSD
VSD
19:49 Jul 11 2011

Sorry Joli, just using an input in your stuff to make an entry into V.R.



Final Installation --- VSD exit party

14:27:48 - Jul 11 2011

Times Read: 4



ADMIN: | EDIT | DELETE |



Sad as it is to say, amidst all the cheering, clapping, and chicken heads saying thank god, itza about time, fuck you and so long muthafuker, I have decided this donkey ride has come to an end.



You might ask, "Why are you leaving VSD?"



Well, I have learned all that I needed to learn, aside from the fact that I hate social networks for the bad stuff, and only love them so much.



And, as much as I would love to fly around the world and meet everyone, I had to stop and ask, why in the fuck would I want to do that?!?



Many here are much more fucked up and insane than I will ever be.



I have also decided that I like "reality" better than online social networks, although, I understand how they might add to the lives of others.



But, yea, I'm closing up shop, and in a few hours, everyone here that hated me can celebrate.



BUT, even though I will not be here doesn't mean I will not know what's going on. Believe me, I will, and if it get's to fucked up, I'm bringing a jar full of delicious goodness to share with everyone.



Yea, but kudos to those that were genuine at best.





Host IP: 66.135.38.60

Web Server: Apache/2.2.3 (CentOS)

Powered-by: PHP/5.1.6

Keyword Found: Master

Injection type is String (")





What I have found is that this site is open to these types of attacks: SQL, Java Script, Ajax.



What did I think of the code build of the site. Eh, well, aside from a lot of cut and past, can't really say it was coded by a really experienced programmer -an aspiring programmer maybe - that's being generous.



For the most part it looked like a packaged deal that anyone can buy, click click and you have 4 or 5 sites all under the same network.



I wasn't impressed with the Upiori code at all. 5 Secs under the code inspector revealed the code and how it functioned. So, if you code and understand programming to a degree, you could easily see how to decrypt anything. Either that or just down load a pwd cracker.



One of the biggest exploits I found of the site, was the ability to write Java and PhP directly into the Post console


Sql injection





BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
19:54 Jul 11 2011

Lots of stores sell a variety of these types of CD's now you have confirmed and amazed me to think they really can work. More importantly I'm glad it's worked for you. Just keep Jaws out of your mind!





Requiem
Requiem
00:57 Jul 12 2011

=)





 

Stage 9 - Goodbye, Vinokourov

08:13 Jul 11 2011
Times Read: 1,318


Photobucket



Oh, Vino, I'm so sorry. It won't be the same without you. I've admired you for years. We were cheering you on for that yellow jersey in stage 8 and 9. You always ride with so much heart and passion. I'll miss your breakaways, your chases, and your heart-rending ups and downs in The Tour. It will be sad not to hear Ligget getting excited because the Kazakh rider has found his legs again. Godspeed in your recovery. I miss you already.


Too many crashes in this Tour. Just way too many.

COMMENTS

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03:41 Jul 11 2011
Times Read: 1,324


This is so cool!

guide horses for the blind


COMMENTS

-



 

Rumor mill

19:20 Jul 08 2011
Times Read: 1,386


Guess which VR admin wears footie jammies. I can't tell, but it rhymes with "ham fire itch dirty sign"


COMMENTS

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Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
19:21 Jul 08 2011

OH MY GODS! *runs*






Joli
Joli
19:32 Jul 08 2011

hee hee hee...hate her to go, but love to watch her leave. Look at those footie feet fly!





Morrigon
Morrigon
19:42 Jul 08 2011

Well I heard from Tear Raw that Toe Glee sometimes laughs funny and snot comes out her nose. Never mind Pant Sir's latest update, this is the best way to encode messages!





Joli
Joli
19:49 Jul 08 2011

Impossible for outsiders to decode! It is the unlocked code of the Nerdnerd Nerdisthewerd honorable alliance of drinkers from cups.





Joli
Joli
19:51 Jul 08 2011

If this does not make sense to you, I am sorry, but it is not my chair, therefore it is not my problem...so say the seahorses!





Morrigon
Morrigon
19:52 Jul 08 2011

Lead me to the building, fuck you.





Joli
Joli
20:06 Jul 08 2011

5643...Yeah Right!





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
21:40 Jul 08 2011

Now wait just a bug's butt hole.. I do not have snot come out of my anything but my nose, the hair catchs it most. And no rum for you two, the tooth fairy is having the rest. Now I just need a gaint male panda to rub my feets, as I curl up with the bottle. ;)





RedQueen
RedQueen
22:34 Jul 08 2011

Somewhere in here, there is going to be a lemon in a compromising posittion...LMAO





Joli
Joli
22:37 Jul 08 2011

I'm fresh outta pandas, but I could probably convince that cuddly clown on cam to come rub your feet



:D





Requiem
Requiem
01:28 Jul 09 2011

o.o Oh. Oh, wow.





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
01:48 Jul 09 2011

Only if I can take a bar of soap to him afterward. There is not enough rum to keep me from wanting to clean that off his face.



But I like a panda... maybe Bigfoot instead? But then he would have fleas so.... Sad clown it is. ;)



Hey.. no lemon was harmed, mole...lested..., or bruised during this night of "Its been a long week, screw it" drinking.



But I have had to correct this 4 times and am sure I spelled a few things wrongs so...



Where the hell is my sad clown.



*puts out her rat feet, claws sharp*





 

00:41 Jul 08 2011
Times Read: 1,406


I wonder if Requiem will animate her avatar. LOTS of speculation about what that critter is doing. :)


COMMENTS

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Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
01:17 Jul 08 2011

O.o You had to put that in my mind...





Joli
Joli
02:32 Jul 08 2011

Yes, I really did.





Requiem
Requiem
12:04 Jul 08 2011

.. How do you animate a snore? :P





 

17:51 Jul 07 2011
Times Read: 1,431


Stay still, you crazy avatars...especially you, you seizure-inducer. Just, stop it!


COMMENTS

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PAGAN
PAGAN
17:53 Jul 07 2011

precisely what I thought! LOL everyone looks a little manic today...





 

02:29 Jul 07 2011
Times Read: 1,462


I was laughing my way through this sexist old 50's ad, but then I got to the bottom...to the product and the usage they're advertising.



Photobucket




WTF does not cover this. Lysol...douche. For a happy marriage. Dude. Dude. I don't even use Lysol to mop...it's too strong and stinky. I...dude.

COMMENTS

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Isis101
Isis101
02:41 Jul 07 2011

I was appalled and laughed my ass off as I read this...Who knew that Lysol was also used as a douche? Personally, I kinda' like the smell of Lysol... to clean, that is. Can you imagine your guy about to perform oral sex, then pulling away, asking you if you mopped the floors with your twat? Pretty much kills the romance, huh?





Joli
Joli
03:08 Jul 07 2011

If by "kills the romance" you mean assures appealing feminine daintiness.





birra
birra
03:17 Jul 07 2011

I...



....Lysol?



Really?



"Mmmm... baby. I love going down on you. It tastes like antiseptic and smells like the pine tree hanging from my rear-view mirror..."





birra
birra
03:17 Jul 07 2011

...but then again, maybe I'm thinking of Pinesol...





PAGAN
PAGAN
17:54 Jul 07 2011

gives a whole new meaning to intimate neglect...



so whaddya use then, a mop?





Joli
Joli
18:26 Jul 07 2011

Pagan, if you are determined to make me visualize this more than I already have, I will be forced to hunt you down and make you pay!





LiamK
LiamK
19:10 Jul 12 2011

I'm sure it's fine. It's scientifically correct and has no greasy aftereffect. Hell you could probably drink the stuff.





 

18:14 Jul 06 2011
Times Read: 1,497


OK, ThothLestat, resident Marketing Genius...explain this if you can!

Photobucket


COMMENTS

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Joli
Joli
18:23 Jul 06 2011

Incidently, the ad says: One eats with pleasure and without tiredness.

Auvergne sausages

Absolute food purety.

Good sausages from thrifty pigs





Requiem
Requiem
18:39 Jul 06 2011

o.O It's HAPPY to serve itself for you! Like the cow at The Restaurant at the End Of The Universe!



"I'll just take myself out the back and shoot myself now, shall I?"





birra
birra
18:41 Jul 06 2011

Obviously translated originally from Hebrew...





deathnitegrl
deathnitegrl
18:49 Jul 06 2011

They look more like montadella (sort of ham) rather than sauseges.





PAGAN
PAGAN
19:39 Jul 06 2011

looks like it says: piggy eats himself, its that good





Isis101
Isis101
02:44 Jul 07 2011

This ad is rather disturbing...





ThothLestat
ThothLestat
04:17 Jul 14 2011

I know of something almost as creepy as that:



the Piggly Wiggly mascot is actually a serial killer.



Exhibit a:





in some of the older stores, the meat departments still have the older artwork that shows Piggly holding a tray of meat in one hand, and a meat cleaver in the other. He's a pig that kills and eviscerates OTHER PIGS.



That's just fucked up.





Joli
Joli
04:23 Jul 14 2011

And he's a complete ripoff of Porky. I can't believe Warner Bros. didn't sue.





 

Joli Classics, The VR Oldies Station

06:03 Jul 06 2011
Times Read: 1,520





Thank you for tuning in to Joli Classics, bringing you the Oldies but Goodies - All VR Vintage, all the time!


Tonight's feature is from way back in 2008, the era that brought us a pregnant man, a black president, and Second Life divorces. It was a simpler time back then, most of us were still kids.


Begun as a challenge to the VR community to come up with a female equivalent of the mass-marketed male enhancement products that were all the rage in our email in-boxes, tonight's story was quickly championed by none other than our own quick-witted otter friend, Morrigon. And now, on with the show!


*White screen...black and white numbers count down...*

MAY 2008


______________________________________________________________________________

Creative Woowie Spam: You write em!

14:26:24 - May 07 2008

Times Read: 706



Morri has a post about spam mail. One promises enhancement for the ol' wandalier. It got me thinking...where are all the promises for the lil cunni? Don't we want enhancement offers, too? It seems a missed opportunity for spam. Perhaps they think the woman isn't as focused on her Devil's Triangle. Well...here's your opportunity. What would be good spammable products to market to people concerning lil miss muffet?




VIEW COMMENTS [-] ______________________________________________________________________________

Anann


14:28:41

May 07 2008


Well some of us females don't have to worry about someone mistaking our honeypots for airplane hangers.



Morrigon


14:52:49

May 07 2008


Can your boyfriend hear the echo?


Do you often encounter unpleasant squishing/phumping/farting noises during boom boom?


Do you hear mysterious hollow wind howl noise while sunbathing nude?


If so, Snatch Draw String© is for you!

Just one specially threaded string can change your whole life! Available in sizes- Camel, Elephant, Monstro, and Mammoth Cave.

Please make sure to specify color- pink, purple, rainbow stripe, caution tape, and flesh.


Easy to install, impossible to forget!




Joli


omg I don't think I have ever laughed so hard at a comment before. I nearly peed. Maybe I need the drawstring.


Sinora


15:13:15

May 07 2008


Ladies > are you tired of having your most private part taken for granted ?


If your answer is yes, then you need Bush Mail. Topiary for you pubic lovers out there.....be it animal, vegetable or mineral....even a message.



Ockham


18:08:04

May 07 2008


I was *going* to say something horrible, but after Morrigan's comment, I just don't think I can do it. The show here has been stolen.



Vampirewitch39


18:30:58

May 07 2008


*dies from laughter, pointing at Otter's comment*


captainglobehead


19:15:37

May 07 2008


Sort of like throwing a hotdog down a hallway.



Requiem


07:56:46

May 12 2008


Holey Schnikey, BatBizzle! That wiffle ball bat disappeared! You should try new Pink Shrink! It'll reduce that airplane hangar to a 14 year old virgin status! (Results not typical.)








COMMENTS

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Sulks
Sulks
07:50 Jul 06 2011

hahaha!





BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
08:56 Jul 06 2011

lol .... are the results back yet?





deathnitegrl
deathnitegrl
18:46 Jul 06 2011

How come I did not see this and comment? It's awesome!





 

00:40 Jul 06 2011
Times Read: 1,546


I'm going to snag Morri. She and I need to pitch a new box of crayons to the folks at Crayola. It would be crayons to appeal to gothic kids. Colors for the Wednesday Addams of the world.


We already have the first two:


Homicide-Chic Red

Seizure Yellow


COMMENTS

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Morrigon
Morrigon
00:42 Jul 06 2011

Swingers Pink





Joli
Joli
00:45 Jul 06 2011

Contusion Purple





Morrigon
Morrigon
03:16 Jul 06 2011

gastric green





birra
birra
03:16 Jul 06 2011

Razor Blade Grey



Infected Piercing Maroon





Joli
Joli
04:17 Jul 06 2011

Ooh, I like infected piercing maroon!



Mascara tear-stain black?






birra
birra
18:45 Jul 06 2011

Non-Conformist Magenta

Anarchy Purple

Unique Lavender

No-One-Understands-Me Violet

Down with the ICP Indigo



...problem is, they're all the same color...





Joli
Joli
20:12 Jul 06 2011

Where the hell is blue? We NEED a blue!





ChasingTheGhost
ChasingTheGhost
21:32 Jul 06 2011

Belladonna Blue

cut ya so fast you bleed Blue

Bipolar Blue






Joli
Joli
21:36 Jul 06 2011

LOVE Belladonna blue!





Morrigon
Morrigon
21:28 Jul 08 2011

Fell into a door blue





 

20:35 Jul 05 2011
Times Read: 1,567


About 8 years ago, I saw a Home Depot commercial about DIY projects. It featured a lady who wanted her bathroom faux painted. Her poor bedraggled husband learned how to do an undercoat of mustard yellow and sponged a red over the top. I loved it...thought it "glowed" beautifully. I had to have it!


So, I sanded all the popcorn paint from the weird and severe angles in my under-the-stairs powder room. I painted. I sponged. I stepped back to admire. It did not glow...it hemorrhaged. I found some white paint and tried to soften the effect, but alas... The room was forever known by monikers like Redrum and homicide-chic. It stayed that way for 8 years.


This weekend, the bloodstains have been purged. 2 coats of Kilz and one coat of paint later, and I have a bright, fresh new powder room.


We had a barbecue yesterday and everyone oohed and ahhed over the bathroom as much as over the delicious food. I don't guess I really registered how crazy it was. It was kindy goth-comfy for me.


COMMENTS

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Morrigon
Morrigon
21:36 Jul 05 2011

*giggle* but the point is that you tried and you invoked reactions from people. IT WAS ART!!!





BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
22:04 Jul 05 2011

I'm surprised you didn't take the party into the bathroom :-p





Nightgame
Nightgame
22:41 Jul 05 2011

I painted my bathroom what was supposed to be a pale lilac once and when my Mom saw it, she screamed it's &%#$% Purple! lol I left it that way for a year just to hear her gripe.





Morrigon
Morrigon
00:31 Jul 06 2011

My brother in law painted his windowless bathroom seizure yellow. Oye...





Joli
Joli
00:36 Jul 06 2011

Holy crap, that's great!





 

19:20 Jul 05 2011
Times Read: 1,579


"This is a true story, proving how fascinating the mind of a six year old is.

They think so logically.




A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class.


She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather

the building materials for his home.


She read. 'And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow

full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that

straw to build my house?'


The teacher paused then asked the class: 'And what do you think

the man said?'


One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly...


'I think the man would have said - 'I'll be a son of a bitch!! A talking pig!'


The teacher had to leave the room."


COMMENTS

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PAGAN
PAGAN
19:53 Jul 05 2011

hahaha!





birra
birra
20:28 Jul 05 2011

Only in the stories we tell our children would someone NOT be astounded by a talking animal...





BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
20:31 Jul 05 2011

Made me giggle ... so un-kosher!





 

19:56 Jul 01 2011
Times Read: 1,605


I missed this SO much that I had to go dig it up again. I love getting to see him creating the video and his negotiations after the video. And I am dying to eat there! Anybody want to set their GPS and meet me at Wilkinson's? I call front seat on the zombie train!


COMMENTS

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ChasingTheGhost
ChasingTheGhost
20:09 Jul 01 2011

artistic license... haha. This is my future sisterwife!








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