Need to lose a few pounds? Who doesn't? Lucky for us, our wise ancestors figured out the perfect solution to that bulging waistline. Look at the promises of no diets, no danger, and no ill effects. WOW! The line forms behind me!
Prunes, coffee, macaroni, and canned tomatoes? Really? These were your troubles? Even fat was simpler in those times :)
...and whaddya do, just swallow it? What if it doesn't stop you growing (at a reasonable size), what then? EEEW! Think I'd rather grow large. That has to be the most disgusting remedy ever.
"...no ill effects..."??? I'm ill right now just thinking about it.
"...no diet, no baths, no exercise..." no wonder the previous generation have all passed LOL
Can you tell I'm totally grossed out?
Geez, Pagan! It says right there, "easy to swallow." Besides...thy're SANITIZED! What's your problem?
I'm completely horrified....Just imagine trying to swallow one of these things...I'd rather douche with lysol...
No problems until the tapeworm ... breeds ... in your guts and spawns thousands and you die in a few days.
Certainly won't have to worry about fat, then!
Oh, Req...what you just did. When Pagan comes back and reads that...
oh blimey. When PAGAN reads that shes gonna pass out...that was something she hadn't even considered...Sulks is having a hard time swallowing that too Req.
Mmmm... Tape Worms! They are even mailed for free.
The dog and the female slept the night together and now she's pregnant. The dog is trying to comfort her and saying, It is ok. You don't need to worry.
this reminded me of...
A Midsummer Night's Dream
"What thou seest when thou dost wake,
Do it for thy true-love take,
Love and languish for his sake:
Be it ounce, or cat, or bear,
Pard, or boar with bristled hair,
In thy eye that shall appear
When thou wakest, it is thy dear:
Wake when some vile thing is near".
Wonderful quote, Sulks. She could have been Oberoned!
I think of Goldilocks and the Three Bears fairy tale.
"It is alright Goldilocks- we can share the bed" says the little bear as Goldilocks looks outside, not wanting to leave the little cabin in the woods.
She's thinking, ''where the hell did I put my slippers?"
"Don't worry hon... He'll call."
paws, for reflection...
"It's ok ... the witch said the potion would wear off when I got love's first true kiss! Go ahead and kiss me! .... Honey? ... Honey, aren't you going to kiss me?"
A bed on wheels, white linens, white gown, no pillows, no bedside table. Bare linoleum floor, bare concrete walls, judging by the light from the window no drapes or space for personal effects.
A girl staring out the window, idle in an empty, dingy room. With an improbable-seeming bear hovering familiarly over one shoulder, just beyond the edge of her vision. And a crucifix around her neck.
Sanitarium. No contest.
Bear says: I'm not sorry I ate your boyfriend he didnt treat you right at all.
I think Liam is on the right track.
For the over"bear"ing times of your life....let go and let us take care of you.
I was reading about the naked mole rat. That's what made me smile about a nekky birthmarked VW. I was picturing the Marilyn Monroe of rats.
This little critter is no looker, though. (Unless you're a lonely mole rat.) It's crazy strange, and really interesting. They have queens and a hierarchy of workers. They are the longest lived rodents...28 years. They have no pain receptors in their skin. They're not endangered, though to look at them, you'd think there's no way they could survive.
Perhaps most interesting is that they seem to be immune to cancer. Their genes are being studied. Perhaps they'll unlock some answers to our questions about long life, pain, and curing cancer.
Hmmm, interesting info, it's amazing what the creatures around us can offer to our science and technology. Maybe the answers are just that simple, they are right in front of us.
woah thats a strange looking animal. Awesome though to know that creatures like that exist and could well be the key to understanding some types of suffering. My mind is literally boggling at this...
That would be great, if it could help heal cancer. :)
I could almost give it a kiss for that.
Thank goodness VW doesn't look like this for real!
That's one scary looking rat....or is it a MOLE!
MOLE! That can't be a rat... right?
Well it sure not the tooth fairy!!
rat AND mole are on the right track.
Remember, VampireWitch with a birthmark and no clothes on :)
Yes...the naked mole rat!
Any my...what big teeth it has. :)
Nice game, FM got it!!
Do you live in a highrise apartment complex? Do you have a baby? Boy, do I have the product for you!
Here's the manufacturer's description: Baby Cage, attached outside window for baby to get natural sunlight and fresh air when living in a high-rise tenement block
This could have saved Michael Jackson a lot of grief.
No freaking way! LOL!
hahaha! I lived in an upstairs apartment with my kids but, no way in hell would I have ever considered that! hahaha!
I'm trying to picture Lucy putting Little Ricky in there.
Why change out of your house robe and take you child outside when you can put them in a window cage?
Do they do ones for animals? :-p
that first baby looks mean...he's got what looks like an iron bar in his hand...heh...cages turn even the loveliest of babies into thugs obviously...
Sees a image of the baby taking his bottle, running it along the bars, singing...
Nobody knows the trouble I have seen...
... Right. First you infect my dreams with Lysol Douche ... Now ... Baby Jailbreakers.
That woman looks kinda Jacobs Ladder-ish, doesn't she?
Kind of looks like a lobster trap...
We're movin' on up!
(Movin' on up!)
To the East side
To a dee-lux apartment, in the sky-eye-eye!
I wonder if this avatar would lend a different tenor to poetry. I may have to post something.
Don't they say it's what's inside that counts? ... and who's 'they'?!!!!
You may need milking but we need a poem.
brown chicken brown cow ( sexiest animals on the farm)... I'm rather excited about this tease of a poem to come.
Wow... Chasing, that was almost a porn beat you had going there...
Kinda odd, but I can't seem to write anything serious with this avatar. It feels like a pole-dancing cow with a prominent and wigglish sexy bit is talking in my voice... As though a jester were capering about in your home and office, jingling and voicing over everything you said, and lobbing the occasional pie. So, pardon me for a while if I wield only puns and jibes, but...
The cow, she make-a me smile.
Ah, Requiem for a dream. Alas.
You're cute for a badger, but my wiggly bits belong to anudder.
I so meant the other journal entry.
NOT the kiss one.
XD Ooooooops ....
But leaving you speechless was fantastic.
Shhhhh...allow me the dream a little longer.
I will just leave you two alone now...
step AWAY from the animals.....
*backs up slowly so as not to disturb the flapping bits...*
Changed my avatar. Oh yeah, dream for me, Requiem. Mmmmmoo, baby...moooooo!
Cooked a big pot of jambalaya and some smothered green beans and potatoes - cajun style. I made a stock from the chicken bones and tomorrow, I will make gumbo. I also want to bake blueberry banana muffins.
It was a wonderful day even though it was filled with common things like cleaning, shopping, driving my daughter and her boyfriend, and cooking. It was a peaceful day filled with love and things to do.
Stabb: Could you turn off the lawn sprinkler?
Me: Soon as it stops raining. I promise!
LOL... I laughed out loud when I read this Joli.If you only knew how often this happens here.I turn on several different sprinkler systems for the horses and the 3000 lb Holstein steer TBone, when it hits a certain temp...then later, a storm will whip up ,complete with thunder and lightning.If I cant get out there in time to shut them down , the sprinklers just stay on,sprinkling away.
Horses and lightning really do not mix,so I have to wait till it stops raining!
Reminds me of a past job... it was at an "everything' type store that had a gardening department. I was one of the only people capable of doing every job in the store, so I went where needed.
A manager asked me to go outside and water the plants... while it was raining...
Me: But, it's raining.
Manager: The plants need to be watered.
Me: I think it's being taken care of for us.
...so a few minutes later when I was outside watering plants in the rain...
Customer: Why are you watering the plants while it's raining?
Me: Because managers are never wrong.
Customer: I guess not, but they are idiots.
Me: Yes, but as long as it's raining, the idiot won't be out here with me....
Customer: Good call.
You crazy, wack Victorians! Following on the heels of our Hysteria Horsey, tonight we visit The Vibrator! Feast your eyes on this excerpt from a great podcast I susbscribe to called "Stuff Your Mom Never Told You." This particular episode is called, "What's the Buzz on Vibrators?" GReat podcast about tons of subjects done in a fun and entertaining format.
How many of you would like to get your hands on this piece of kit? Check the accessories. Shhhh...curb your hysteria...don't have a paroxysm...
I've read something like this before. :P Doctors messed their wrists up doing it by hand, so someone invented a mechanical one to do it for them.
I wonder how they discovered it was relaxing in the first place...
*sighs*, the good old days the good old days.....
The tongue is much less likely to suffer from carpal-tunnel issues.
well...I was going to say something but Birra distracted me there LOL
If there was a mechanical 'fix' for anything the Victorians invented it...Not sure the accessories look anything other than harmful though - or a bit like diving helmets maybe...? o.O
See that birra guy? Cottage Industry man, he is. Thinking outside the box. And willing to lick inside the box...you heard it here first, ladies. It is only fair, though. He has swelled us all into a vexing state of hysteria with his seductive dance of man-love! I haven't felt fresh, dainty, or willing to cook dinner in a week.
Waiting up for my daughter to get home from the Harry Potter premiere. She paid a tattoo artist $5 to draw the "dark mark" on her wrist. It looked pretty cool, but it's late and I'm worrying.
Hey, the guys have mechanical bull-riding. Let's have a Hysteria Horse competition. First gal whose toes curl WINS! Hey, it promotes health...I'm doing it for my circulation.
Don't judge me.
Hysteria. That's amazing.
"...trot, canter, gallop......"??? O.M.G.
stagnation of the liver? hysteria? gout?
thank goodness they invented horses LMAO!
Dood...how much more can possibly be in there?!!!
Guy in my lobby is STILL blowing his nose. He's done it more than a half dozen times...not little honks, mind you. Long, full blows where he begins at a tall standing position and ends up kind of bowed over. Can you die of over-blowing? Will that kleenex make it? Will we need to call for a mop? Oh god, he is still going.
It's weird how loud it can get.
I was kinda worried he'd faint. That's got to rip up your blood pressure.
You sure about which end the noises are coming from?
I'll tell you from experience, there seems to be no limit. When I get a really bad sinus infection, I'll spend half my time blowing my nose, but there is always more! I swear it feels like there's a mucus faucet running in my nose at those times.
I've got some insulating foam in a can...I could fix that leak right up!
Morrigon should come with a warning label. I just sat down to lunch at work and logged into VR. I checked my Last 10 and journal comments...YAY! there's journal comments. Oooh, they're in the last entry on Lysol douching.
I take a bite of my delicious muffeletta foccacia and read the comments. They are all sammich safe UNTIL I hit Morrigon's. Can sandwich crumbs go up your nose? I now know that they definitely can spew unprofessionally out of my mouth. Glass windows in my office... volunteers want to know what's so funny. *glances at Morri's comment* Uh.....
Well it's true.
No question. I think in describing scent, the less clinical word selection of "dick" is what broke me.
Hehe well I think the "dick" term applies both to the attitude of a man who feels that way, and his unfortunate genitalia.
More help for your special dainty freshness. Hope you're douching with Lysol, ladies. Apparently, EVERYTHING depends on it!
I'm afraid I'm fascinated with these ads. I actually have even more of them. They range from the 1920's to the 1950's. I simply cannot get enough of the Lysol douche.
*prints these out*
*puts them on Mrs. Thothy's pillow*
I'mma leave these right here...
In later news, MrsThothy drew a rather deep bath of Lysol douching solution and MrThothy has no idea why he was thrown in ...
Yes Dave, because your dick smells like a meadow of flowers after a hot day sitting behind a desk.
Because I am so distracted, I will leave you with this little blast from the past. I love their expressions!
Good grief, hahaha!
slenderize exactly where you want...easy to inflate... that's sold it to me LOL
I wonder if you inflate them after they're on...you must if they fit all sizes (which I doubt they do.) If so, you'd need help.
They left out, "Not to be used as a flotation or life-saving device. Results are not typical and will vary" Ah, the golden days of yesteryear when stupid disclaimers were just a gleam in the lawyer's eyes.
...or a pulling device Joli...Just imagine getting ready for a first date...need to lose a few inches...suddenly there's a knock at the door and you're stuck in 'em...
Ribbed... for her pleasure...
ACK! I had to wonder ... panties or no panties? SQUUEEEAAAAAKKKKK ... and what if you fart in them?
The sound alone would make me giggle for HOURS.
AAU approved? AwfulAwfulUnderwear? lol
You guys are funnier than the ad!
GIRD YOUR LOINS, Swingers!!
Just think how swell these would look with a cape!
Working from home today. Need to focus. Can't get my head in the game. I have to finish my newsletter, order software, get my Family Partnership packets finished...
When I started at the Center, I was a Program Coordinator and focused only on the people in need. I really struggled with the decision to accept being Director. I have so much more administrative work and less actual face time with clients.
The advantage of this position is that I really get to be in a decision-making role, helping to shape the vision and direction of this ministry, helping it to grow. I do miss my old job sometimes, though.
I need a magic elixir that would turn my mind from distractions and bend it back to the work at hand.
Order software? Arrroo?
Now you know I wouldn't be out there cheating on you. It's Sales Force and we qualify to get it free because we're a charity. *smooch*
If we exchange the green, you know we'll look to Aspire first. Especially when the president is willing to give us lady customers such special attention. *tucks a dollar in the waistband under the thrusting belly*
I was talking with a friend today who struggles with night terrors, and was reminded of what my nights used to be like. They were my secret shame. I never talked about it, but anyone who ever slept with me was aware that I had trouble with normal sleep. I felt like something was wrong with me.
I hated sleeping over at a friend's house. College roommates, relationships, hotel rooms, hospital rooms, campers, tents, summer camp...TERROR that fed on itself because I'd have to sleep. Odd that I would be ashamed of what I couldn't help, but I was.
When I was a teenager, I began having nightmares. They escalated and eventually, my mom sent me to counseling to try to work through the problem. There are a lot of reputable counselors out there, unfortunately, this one was not and we'll leave it at that.
Various medications had varying effects, sometimes eliminating the dreaming, but replacing it with fatigue and hazy days where your feet feel like they're dragging in sand. If you go far enough back in my journal, you'll see some evidence of the bad dreams if you know how to look.
A few years ago, a friend and I thought that what was going on might simply be an issue with the way I was falling asleep. I'm a happy and well-adjusted person and I really didn't think I was working demons out in my sleep. We noticed that I seemed to begin dreaming really fast, almost as soon as my eyes closed. I'd wake up gasping, and would continue this throughout the night.
My dear friend, Liam, is a music person. He doesn't just like music...if you cut him, he bleeds musical notes. He scoured the world and found something that has changed my life - delta waves. They are the waves associated with deep sleep. I listen to interesting and soothing delta wave music when I close my eyes. I "drift down" slowly into sleep in what I believe is a more natural way. I am relaxed in the morning and refreshed. My mind is sharp...well, it's a relative thing, you know.
Sleep can't be underestimated. I trudged through and did my best to stay upbeat, but it's a strain when you're tired and worried about falling asleep. It becomes a vicious circle...I'd fall asleep only when I was exhausted and the more exhausted I was, the faster I'd hit REM and be gasping awake again.
If this is an issue for you, I can suggest some files that might help you. Or you can just google delta waves and sleep. Sometimes our brains need a little help resetting themselves and I love that there are simple, non-invasive approaches we can try.
Thank you again, Liam. For helping me find peaceful sleep again and for so many reasons, I love you.
A really helpful and encouraging journal Joli. :)
Sorry Joli, just using an input in your stuff to make an entry into V.R.
Final Installation --- VSD exit party
14:27:48 - Jul 11 2011
Times Read: 4
ADMIN: | EDIT | DELETE |
Sad as it is to say, amidst all the cheering, clapping, and chicken heads saying thank god, itza about time, fuck you and so long muthafuker, I have decided this donkey ride has come to an end.
You might ask, "Why are you leaving VSD?"
Well, I have learned all that I needed to learn, aside from the fact that I hate social networks for the bad stuff, and only love them so much.
And, as much as I would love to fly around the world and meet everyone, I had to stop and ask, why in the fuck would I want to do that?!?
Many here are much more fucked up and insane than I will ever be.
I have also decided that I like "reality" better than online social networks, although, I understand how they might add to the lives of others.
But, yea, I'm closing up shop, and in a few hours, everyone here that hated me can celebrate.
BUT, even though I will not be here doesn't mean I will not know what's going on. Believe me, I will, and if it get's to fucked up, I'm bringing a jar full of delicious goodness to share with everyone.
Yea, but kudos to those that were genuine at best.
Host IP: 126.96.36.199
Web Server: Apache/2.2.3 (CentOS)
Keyword Found: Master
Injection type is String (")
What I have found is that this site is open to these types of attacks: SQL, Java Script, Ajax.
What did I think of the code build of the site. Eh, well, aside from a lot of cut and past, can't really say it was coded by a really experienced programmer -an aspiring programmer maybe - that's being generous.
For the most part it looked like a packaged deal that anyone can buy, click click and you have 4 or 5 sites all under the same network.
I wasn't impressed with the Upiori code at all. 5 Secs under the code inspector revealed the code and how it functioned. So, if you code and understand programming to a degree, you could easily see how to decrypt anything. Either that or just down load a pwd cracker.
One of the biggest exploits I found of the site, was the ability to write Java and PhP directly into the Post console < Ha, post console --- database anyone.
Lots of stores sell a variety of these types of CD's now you have confirmed and amazed me to think they really can work. More importantly I'm glad it's worked for you. Just keep Jaws out of your mind!
Guess which VR admin wears footie jammies. I can't tell, but it rhymes with "ham fire itch dirty sign"
OH MY GODS! *runs*
hee hee hee...hate her to go, but love to watch her leave. Look at those footie feet fly!
Well I heard from Tear Raw that Toe Glee sometimes laughs funny and snot comes out her nose. Never mind Pant Sir's latest update, this is the best way to encode messages!
Impossible for outsiders to decode! It is the unlocked code of the Nerdnerd Nerdisthewerd honorable alliance of drinkers from cups.
If this does not make sense to you, I am sorry, but it is not my chair, therefore it is not my problem...so say the seahorses!
Lead me to the building, fuck you.
Now wait just a bug's butt hole.. I do not have snot come out of my anything but my nose, the hair catchs it most. And no rum for you two, the tooth fairy is having the rest. Now I just need a gaint male panda to rub my feets, as I curl up with the bottle. ;)
Somewhere in here, there is going to be a lemon in a compromising posittion...LMAO
I'm fresh outta pandas, but I could probably convince that cuddly clown on cam to come rub your feet
o.o Oh. Oh, wow.
Only if I can take a bar of soap to him afterward. There is not enough rum to keep me from wanting to clean that off his face.
But I like a panda... maybe Bigfoot instead? But then he would have fleas so.... Sad clown it is. ;)
Hey.. no lemon was harmed, mole...lested..., or bruised during this night of "Its been a long week, screw it" drinking.
But I have had to correct this 4 times and am sure I spelled a few things wrongs so...
Where the hell is my sad clown.
*puts out her rat feet, claws sharp*
I wonder if Requiem will animate her avatar. LOTS of speculation about what that critter is doing. :)
I was laughing my way through this sexist old 50's ad, but then I got to the bottom...to the product and the usage they're advertising.
I was appalled and laughed my ass off as I read this...Who knew that Lysol was also used as a douche? Personally, I kinda' like the smell of Lysol... to clean, that is. Can you imagine your guy about to perform oral sex, then pulling away, asking you if you mopped the floors with your twat? Pretty much kills the romance, huh?
If by "kills the romance" you mean assures appealing feminine daintiness.
"Mmmm... baby. I love going down on you. It tastes like antiseptic and smells like the pine tree hanging from my rear-view mirror..."
...but then again, maybe I'm thinking of Pinesol...
gives a whole new meaning to intimate neglect...
so whaddya use then, a mop?
Pagan, if you are determined to make me visualize this more than I already have, I will be forced to hunt you down and make you pay!
I'm sure it's fine. It's scientifically correct and has no greasy aftereffect. Hell you could probably drink the stuff.
Incidently, the ad says: One eats with pleasure and without tiredness.
Absolute food purety.
Good sausages from thrifty pigs
o.O It's HAPPY to serve itself for you! Like the cow at The Restaurant at the End Of The Universe!
"I'll just take myself out the back and shoot myself now, shall I?"
Obviously translated originally from Hebrew...
They look more like montadella (sort of ham) rather than sauseges.
looks like it says: piggy eats himself, its that good
This ad is rather disturbing...
I know of something almost as creepy as that:
the Piggly Wiggly mascot is actually a serial killer.
in some of the older stores, the meat departments still have the older artwork that shows Piggly holding a tray of meat in one hand, and a meat cleaver in the other. He's a pig that kills and eviscerates OTHER PIGS.
That's just fucked up.
And he's a complete ripoff of Porky. I can't believe Warner Bros. didn't sue.
I'm going to snag Morri. She and I need to pitch a new box of crayons to the folks at Crayola. It would be crayons to appeal to gothic kids. Colors for the Wednesday Addams of the world.
We already have the first two:
Razor Blade Grey
Infected Piercing Maroon
Ooh, I like infected piercing maroon!
Mascara tear-stain black?
Down with the ICP Indigo
...problem is, they're all the same color...
Where the hell is blue? We NEED a blue!
cut ya so fast you bleed Blue
LOVE Belladonna blue!
Fell into a door blue
About 8 years ago, I saw a Home Depot commercial about DIY projects. It featured a lady who wanted her bathroom faux painted. Her poor bedraggled husband learned how to do an undercoat of mustard yellow and sponged a red over the top. I loved it...thought it "glowed" beautifully. I had to have it!
So, I sanded all the popcorn paint from the weird and severe angles in my under-the-stairs powder room. I painted. I sponged. I stepped back to admire. It did not glow...it hemorrhaged. I found some white paint and tried to soften the effect, but alas... The room was forever known by monikers like Redrum and homicide-chic. It stayed that way for 8 years.
This weekend, the bloodstains have been purged. 2 coats of Kilz and one coat of paint later, and I have a bright, fresh new powder room.
We had a barbecue yesterday and everyone oohed and ahhed over the bathroom as much as over the delicious food. I don't guess I really registered how crazy it was. It was kindy goth-comfy for me.
*giggle* but the point is that you tried and you invoked reactions from people. IT WAS ART!!!
I'm surprised you didn't take the party into the bathroom :-p
I painted my bathroom what was supposed to be a pale lilac once and when my Mom saw it, she screamed it's &%#$% Purple! lol I left it that way for a year just to hear her gripe.
My brother in law painted his windowless bathroom seizure yellow. Oye...
Holy crap, that's great!
"This is a true story, proving how fascinating the mind of a six year old is.
They think so logically.
A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class.
She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather
the building materials for his home.
She read. 'And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow
full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that
straw to build my house?'
The teacher paused then asked the class: 'And what do you think
the man said?'
One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly...
'I think the man would have said - 'I'll be a son of a bitch!! A talking pig!'
The teacher had to leave the room."
I missed this SO much that I had to go dig it up again. I love getting to see him creating the video and his negotiations after the video. And I am dying to eat there! Anybody want to set their GPS and meet me at Wilkinson's? I call front seat on the zombie train!
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