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would you rather cheat on your gf/bf or brake up, and than be with that other person?
*I am for the second idea, brake up and than do what you want...

There is another question for you all...if you cheated on your gf/bf, would you tell him/her? I mean it is great to be honest, but what you don`t know can`t hurt you... Is it better to make sure that he/she never finds out, or just tell him/her and get it of your chest, and what will be will be...
What are your thoughts on this?

I don't break up with people , I don't cheat on people and I wish nobody did ...

no doubts, I prefer a break up.

And if I had to tell them or not I won't but I hardly ever cheat.

Banshee good poll, question....at what point is it called cheating?

Also a quest by me?

Would you want to know if your bf/gf cheated on you,or you would get hurt.

Cause I would prefer the truth

i don cheat
i never have
nufin cud make me cheat
but if i liked 2 ppl n i liked the other one more n he liked me
i would break up wiv my boyfriend n kinda see the other one to see how it works out

that is a different story for everybody, some conceder a kiss cheating, some consider it not cheating until you have slept with the other person, but sometimes i think that maybe it is better to do it and stop thinking of it, if you REALLY want that person. The worse, at least for me is mental cheating,you know what i mean...not just that you like somebody , you think of him for days, and do nothing `cos you don`t want to ruin that what you have...you torture yourself and that person, and your gf/bf will know that something is wrong...and you feel like crap, and you have done NOTHING wrong...

Thx.......I would say that most not all but most ppl cheat in their minds at some point......even if its just for a minute or two......
I am guilty of that.....but I would never physically cheat I would end the current relationship and move on.

*to deathnitgirl: i have been thinking about this a lot lately...and i can`t find the answer...i don`t know would i be able to forgive...
and it is a bitchy thing to be honest about that...you get your conscience clear by telling the truth, and the other person suffers cos you betrayed her

it really comes down to the question of what is cheating.....
I have been in an exceedingly open relationship before where the only thing conmsidered cheating was trying to hide it or lie....
other than that it was anything goes....
you have to define to each other where the line is.....otherwise it will get crossed

I'd consider it cheating if there was no mutual consent between you and your bf/gf. Anything like that which needs to be hidden is just going to hurt the relationship in the end. So if someone else enters the picture that you need so badly, the breakup would be best.

i wouldnt cheat on my partner (although i dont have one lol)
but IF i did i woul tell them because i think they would be mmore upset if you cheating on them for a long time

i say just tell them straight up
some women prefer honesty, but then again some dont

i would also want to know if my partner cheated on me

yes Banshee I agree it's bitchy

I wouldn't tell him cause of fear I'll lose him,but that is more bitchy cause you won't be honest...and there is always guilt...

Also if you are in this situation,only you can know the answer.

Think carefully before taking any action.
Ask yourself some questions like:Am I really happy in this current relationship?Is it worth it to ruin everything for a new one?

No one can answer these questions except you, so good luck.

Break up... Never cheat...
And if I do that I'll tell; yes, you're right, what you don't know can't hurt you; but somehow it will always come to the surface, so I'm the person from whom he/she should hear something like that, less pain :)
And besides I must live with that; I'll definitely tell!
And one more thing; you cheat cuz you find something you want in other person, so there's a chance for wanting him/her just for yourself -----> break up

iv ad som1 cheat on me
n my m8 saw them 2 a the movies
(she worked there)
afew times
normaly on a wednesday
so i went there on a wednesday
n i saw him
wiv his ex
but the thing that hurt most was
i had 2 be told

sorry if this is off the subject

Defenetly the second idea, just brake up and than you will think what to do nad with who...

and to tell,Yes i think to tell is beter!

i think that teling is better

What you dont know can and will hurt you, because the truth usually finds its way out of the woodwork.

If you cannot respect the person you are with enough to even be honest with them, then you really dont deserve them.

in talking about a relationship that i'm taking seriously...i'd definitely break things off before even seriously thinking about getting with someone else.

i terminate a relationship as soon as i feel myself even *wanting* to start to roam..usually before i even find a new target because i think it's kind of dirty to be pretending to be committed to someone when you KNOW that you're really just waiting for someone better.

I don't believe in marriage and happily ever after crap...

SO break up, collect and collect..have fun!

I cheated, once (drunken kiss scenario), and I broke up with the person just because I felt guilty, and I didn't pursue anything with the cheatee (so to speak)

everyone makes mistakes (I dont see why but apparently we do *smirks*) but its the idea to go out and have the best of both worlds that hurts people te most, unless thats what you have agreed openly to do.

Anythings possible if you both agree.

well you know this is a tricky one. Say that you cheat but you don't tell your othr half that you have. What then? Do you go on as if nothing happened or what? Because you know that if you do tell them, they will break up with you and you don't want to lose them. That is a toughie. Rhetorical question you guys. Not saying that I have done this.

i would never cheat, i would break up first. and honesty is always best

I would break up with him/her first.

And if I did cheat on him/her, I wouldn't tell them, and I wouldn't want them to find out.

as far as whether or not to tell...
i dont know. i'd say it's situation-dependent.
if you've broken up with the person and you dont want to hurt them, then i'd say, dont tell them. they're already losing you - probably no reason for them to know that they didnt even have you to themselves when they had you.

on the other hand...if you've cheated on someone that you're planning to stay with...it might be better to get it out into the open. maybe explain that you weren't taking things too seriously in the begining, but now you are and you'd like to come clean and consider the monogomous part of the relationship to start now (i've done this..)

if it's something that's really far in the past and there's no way they'd ever find out...it might be best just to let it go and not tell them..it's only going to make them feel bad..and really, if it is completely in the past-behind you-existing only on your conscience, the reason to tell them is more to ease your mind than anything else, so it seems like telling them in this case might be selfish...you'll be relieved, they'll feel shitty.

I don't really believe in lying, even though I do it some times. whats the point in lying when the truth is always better. You ever hear that saying "people who lie needs a good memory" because once you lie it never stops. No one deserves to be cheated on. if you would rather be with some one else tell them don't wait it out and cheat because you are just going to hurt some one.

Ok here's a question .. if you are with someone and you feel/believe that it is the person you want to be with why the hell would you even have thoughts of cheating on them in the first place ... is not even THINKING about doing something, being it kissing, or otherwise ... a form of cheating .. are you not then cheating on the trust that your S.O. has within you????

well i think that the problem i've had is that i used to agree to an exclusive relationship with someone before i was ready.

people used to "date" more before "going steady" ...and i think it's a shame that that's not the norm anymore. it seems like as soon as a guy likes you he's asking you to be his "girlfriend"
and i know that myself and most people i know have at some point found themselves in the situation of saying "yes" without *really* being ready for the committment.

it's possible to start seeing someone before you really know them...and be messing around with other people then...but then as you get to know the guy better, you really do start to feel committed to them...

i'm not saying that it's not a mistake to agree to be faithful to someone before you're ready...but i can say that it can work out if you 'fess up and admit, "hey, at the time, i wasn't ready...now i'm in love with you for real and i haven't even been looking at anyone else, forgive me?"
and i dont think it has to permenantly blight the relationship

cheating sucks
weather it happend 2 u
or u were the person hu cheated
so i say just dump the other one
then ur free to do what u want
but even tho i did put on here i av been cheated on
i have been the cheater
it was l8 n my guy m8 was there
me n my bf (at the time) just ad an argument
n my m8 hu i trust wiv he world was there
tryin 2 calm me down
n we kissed
n i felt bad
n i dint even like my m8 in that way
n i felt so bad
n me n my bf broke up not over that
but over somint else
n that came out wen we were talkin after the break up
n we aint talkied since

As far as I am concerned simply thinking lustfully about another person is cheating...

In the past I have always known if someone had cheated on me...in whatever manner....and therefore have always split up with them.

Also even if I had no proof and just suspected cheating...I dumped them....or was that because I got bored and needed an excuse??....LOL

cheaters always get found out

i wud never cheat, cant even find someone who wants to be with me and is sucks.

but id never cheat

I would never cheat on my baby, but if the relationship gets that boring I would either spice it up or move on. But if it ever did happen I would definetly tell him. I expect the same from him as well.

id rather break up with someone then cheat.... its not in my nature ....

It's in everyone's nature to cheat. I wouldn't say a word to the person I was with if I began to cheat. Then again I wouldn't be in a relationship. I would have what we call "friends with benefits". It makes it easier to be with more than one person !!

i dont go out wiv ppl now
i see them
its better

I' don't like people cheat me
then y shoud i?

I'm ageless...and have never cheated...if you can cheat, hurt the one you care about...your gutless and have no reason for anyone to ever care about you...simply because you haven't earned the right....

My thoughts Only

I am a Noble by nature but you may call me Marius.

will if u cheated u never reaal loved then no matter what u think so its more like be honst and tell them and see what happens and most likey {will most of the guys i know} would break up because i mean who wants a cheater

*again about confess, or hide...

If you say the truth, you are getting a big part of your guilt off your chest,so you feel better... you were honnest! That is a brave thing to do, but that is releaf for you, and brings pain to the other person, cos he has been betrayd,
I dont cheat, there was a few times, but with the same guy, that is a diferent story...

Id rather Break up.

Cheating is treason. Knowing is better than being oblivious.

Because; Being oblivious = Being the fool.

i'd definately break it off first.. i've been cheated on and it sucks.. and not so much the cheating part was what irritated me, it was the lying that went with it when the person was confronted and asked directly...

so to save ppl from heartbreak or just pure anger, i'd break it off first and move myself along my merry way :)

~~Mirage~~

Cheating is fucking wrong. And if you happen to do it, then you need to tell them immediately. Otherwise, you are a bad gf or bf. Really bad. And you don't deserve love. Christ, if you even have feelings for someone else, consider serioulsey breaking up. Honestly, doesn't anyone have a good little heart anymore?
~Morgana~

hmmm well..

I have been the person being cheated on and the person that has been the "mistress" ( stupidly I believed they were going to leave the person they were with to be with me..but I got smart ) I would NEVER NEVER NEVER cheat on ANYONE I was with. I know how both feels being in both situations. I don't even look at other people. I have everything I need.

Cheating sucks! and not in a good way :)

I Am All For Breaking Up Trust Me As One Who Has Been Cheated On Numerous Times I Hate Cheaters Always Have And Always Will..

If you have the urge, break up than play. If you have already cheated, tell the truth. If that person finds out by some other means, it would be ten times as worse than just admitting it.

trust me, I have been on both sides of the situation.

i think you should break up with them first because then neither one or you gets that hurt...

as to the statement even thinking lustfully about another is cheating....what godamn planet are you from?
lustful thoughts are a natural response to chemical stimulus......to not have them probably means you suffer from some manner of emotional illness......it is the acting on them which matters.....but there is a large difference between having a lustful thought.....and obsessing on someone....

there seems to be some confusion about what cheating really is. there are no set rules for cheating. its all individuel. the best way to go about it is as follows, when you think about what cheating would be , if your about to do somthin that would hurt you if your lover did it than that would be cheating, like sleeping with some one els, if your lover did this an it would hurt you than that would be cheating, an i dont want to hear from all thos that nothin my partner did would hurt me. be honost people

Well I am extremely possessive and protective (ugh ..) so anyone loyal to me has my complete loyalty in return . I don't take betrayal very well and will drop at the slightest hint of treachery . But at least u can trust me :D

cheating.............hummmmmmmm, it depends what is cheating...as it has been said talk to the person your with ..its human nature to have thoughts.it doesn't matter were you get your appetite so long as you eat at home

cheating ,i haven't found anyone yet who has not cheated on me. could be that i'm an asshole lol . but no i don't like cheaters so it is something that i never do. and if i'm w/someone it has to mean something so i can't see breaking up w/them to be w/someone else. but as they say "the heart wants what the hart wants" mine would settel for someone who dosn't lie to me all the time sorry had to add that . bad night

Wow. After reading Claudia1984's post I know never to cheat on her. But that is a diferent subject. If I did meet someone else and was with someone I would break up with them rather then cheat on them. And cheating in my opinion is a physical thing. If you see it or caught in the act then you have done it and need to have unsaid body parts removed.

all i can say is i've never been good. :P lol! ei! cheating is very necessary sometimes

.. cheating is only necessary in frikkin' Diablo or Neverwinter Nights ! No Cheating ! Join the NoCC club !

$#%@ with me and I'll $#%@ with you .
$#%@ with another and I'll kill you !

Well if you are going to cheat in the first plave you might as well break up with you sig. other to stop the overkill of heartache from happening. I thinking cheating is wrong in all regards. Then again, while my mother was giving birth to me, my father was having a foursome.

What if it were a different situation?
If you were not the one cheating?
You are single at the momment...
I mean would you ppl get involved with a person who has a gf/bf?

*I did that twice,the first time i was in love and didn`t care for her feelings at all, all that mattered was that we will be together when she goes home, the second time it was more off a joke than a relationship...but that was 4 years ago...
* But if i know the girl he is involved with, i try my best not to do it...and i never have...i mean been with a bf of a girl that i hang out with.(never mind who of them i met first) Toughts?

Interesting twist to your question Banshee. I think I've been quiet long enough.

I've been in the situation that you are speaking of now...it's not fun. The situation of the matter is that my beloved has been married for nearly 8 years, but the last 3-4 has been dead for her. I've been with her a little over a year now, and she still has the problem of working the details in the divorce.
However hard/irritating (because the ex is a complete idiot) it may be, though, I will never leave her side.

Now if she reads this...I'm sure a good thrashing is in order, but I've said my peace. *smiles*

Definately break up... Theres No point to cheating, if you're unhappy theres no reason to stay with the person. end it on a somewhat nice note, and move on.
Just my 2 cents worth

I would never cheat on a bf

Ok say your out with a bunch of your g/f's partying, and this DROP dead male/female walks by.. your drunk and horny.. Woudl you attemt to flirt and chance cheating or would you play the cool bean and not pay any attention at all?
AND

IF you DID do the dirty deed, would you regret it and confess or keep silent and go on....

Haha ... I would do no such thing . If I somehow went insane and forgot all that is moral , I would run away in shame and not show my face for a long time ...

I just dumped my bf on Independence day. I through everything away. All because of insecure thoughts and rumours. I love him, and want him back. Although I think he cheated on me.

I just dumped my bf on Independence day. I threw everything away. All because of insecure thoughts and rumours. I love him, and want him back. Although I think he cheated on me.

Well Banshee, if I were single and wanted someone I would go for it, I have been a mistress before and it was fine with me cuz at the time I didnt want a commitment from him we were just having awesome sex it worked.......now that I am married, I dont think I could deal with that situation being delt to me.

As the saying goes ... what goes around comes around ... unfortnatually ... by the time it comes around it is someone else that is getting hurt by a persons actions either way .. not the orginal person that was wronged ... make sense????

Yeah , tell that to the bf/bg who got cheated on .. :|

That's my point Aleks .... I have been on all three sides of this coin ... cheated on .. then cheated with a married person in regard to kissing and talk about going beyond but it never did as I realized it was a friend who i would be hurting far worse then myself ... and also been the cheater, and causing much pain and heartache to the one I was with not just myself ... IE .. what goes around comes around but you hurt someone else rather then the one who orginally caused you the pain ....

hmm..
well i have had flings with people who were married/dating other people.
i never knew about the other woman at the start of the thing though...

i guess the key word is "fling" i wouldnt get with a guy who had a wife/girlfriend in hopes of having a serious relationship with him...(because obviously he doesn't know how to do "serious" properly...)

oh and, I still insist that it is possible to fall in love with someone after cheating on them. i mean...just try thinking about it this way.
you get with a guy, it starts out as just a lust thing. you're not expecting much to come out of it, but you're hot enough for him that you want to give it a shot. at the same time, you're lusting after/cuddling with/making out with/outright fucking (whatever definition of cheating we're using..) some other guy in a casual sort of way...

but then a while later, lust turns to love. you realize that what you thought was going to be a quick affair has the potential to be the greatest love story of your life...

are you supposed to just throw that away because months/years earlier you weren't taking things seriously?

what if he says "that's ok, i was still hanging out with my ex girlfriend for the first month that we were dating too...who knew that we were actually going to like eachother this much?"

i agree that if you cheat on someone, you dont love them at the time, but i dont think that it means that you can never love them and can never have a satisfying trusting relationship with them.

If you have to cheat then theres no point in staying with your partner. Definitly brake up. I hate cheating

I hate cheating as well. What is the point? In the end you will be the one losing..everything. Everyone. If you cheat on someone you lost respect and trust. It's not worth it.

break up... deffinitly....

I have been cheated on... I wish they had just ben honest...

I hate cheaters...

definitly the latter choice. much safer. people get crazy sometimes

i have to say i agree with most ppl but i agree with SolidGraySky the most i mean shes got me down to the penny but now i wouldnt even date someone unless its 100% dedicated to eachother its to much hurt and pain no matter how long ago it was....

Break up.. no need to hurt someone by cheating on him/her.... breaking up hurts too off course but not like bertaying someones trust...

truth one can live with
secret are the thing that hurt

so tell them, don't lie and get caught

aight well i would never cheat even if my life depended on it. i feel that if someone cheated on me i would want them to tell me. they cheated for a reason right? if they wherent happy with me i would want to know so maybe i could change it and find a way to make them happy. or fix what ever is wrong with that person and myself.

Never cheated & never would
If things get that bad in a relationship i`d walk first and expect the same respect and honesty in return