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Do you choose your child's religion or do you accept the religion they choose?

I grew up a christian but it changed for me along the way.

I have 3 kids, and they have been exposed about God through other family members, and even school.

I personally would rather that impression wasn't made so that they can get a better understanding of many kinds of beliefs, and choose what is right for THEM.

So really whatever path they choose to take, as long as it isn't harming them or someone else in the process, then i can accept that.

I am with PsiDreamer, I would want my children to choose their path instead of being imposed like it was done with me, unless it's harmful for them and others, however it's almost impossible considering they would get shown one religion only at school and by other family members.

The problem is, in my country children can be bullied if they're not Roman Catholic.

well i dont have kids yet

but i was rasied on and off in baptsist churchs till i was 13, then after that my mom had me look in to other churches and religions and practice what i thought was right for me

i hope when i have kids i do the same let them choose what is right for them

Why must one have a religion? Can't you just have a philosophy?

i was christened when i was born but i never really felt right with that.
I've got 2 boys and i'm letting them choose their own path/religion

This is a good question i have three children and

when they were small they became a christian I am
WiccanShaman


never have I told my Children what path to follow
We all have to follow our own path

We are accountable for our actions as adults their
Path is for them to choose why force what we are on them

now there Adults and yes they also have some gifts

they still choose Christianity over my beliefs and we are all happy with this.

My mom consistanly told my brothers, and I what we were, Hellions, and Hethens.

My philosophy/practice to this day is the one we are all born with..

Though I merged with various denominations of Xtians, and that didn't come off all that well at home.


When I read this post the whole PK syndrome came right to the top of my thunkin' cap'.

I dont have kids yet but when i do ill let them practice freely any religion they choose... no one religion is right for everyone... I was raised til the age of around 13 or 14 to be Holiness christian... now im satanist complete opposites lol

neither me or my kids mother even mention religion to our kids! if and when they are ready they can make their own choice!

Do we choose their name for them or do we wait until they get older to pick one? Do we let them choose their type of food to eat or help them on a healthy diet? How about not letting them crawl or holding their hands first to teach to walk? Why send them to school or to teach them studies? Wouldn't they learn what they really need to know by themselves?

Religion provides us with a foundation to build on later. The trouble is never the religion itself but the lack of growth from the individual. Once we get set in our ways, the mind closes in because we now 'know-it-all.' We stop to make the questions to promote growth.

Better to have the child follow a religion that they or familiar with first - yours. Then build on that themselves.

I actually hgrew up with a female that had night terrors because of her moms Catholic Domination.. her
confirmation was the worse day of her preteen memories. I met the lady.. very pious, and with Mommy Dearest vibes.

Then I have had friends raised by New Age Spiritualist, head in a cloud most of the time, their dad was too permissive, and had a new program.. or followed a different guru every two weeks.


It works with Politics as well, Activist children, dragged to protest, encouraged to rant.. there is a line that parents cross, Like the Youtube Video of Fire & Brimstone 9 yr Old, it is an infliction of mental abuse when it goes that far.

Right now i do not have kids but i can say that i wouldnt force a religion on them in any way shape or form. I would let them choose their religion.

(speaking in future tense) I would also bitch slap anyone who tried forcing their religion on my child/children. Nobody has the right to force anyone to choose anything on anyone including my future kid/kids.

And that Miskala will protect your children from being initiated into any cult. telling your children that they can share what church groups (because most kids are not
concerned with the belief, as they are social identity)
If the child wants to "kick the tires" of a friends families church, why not, but if the child says.. "If I don't go to their church group, I can't play with Joe." then something is suspect.

Us kids use to play football/ softball before and after lessons on Saturday morning. Nothing wrong with socializing either. We're all social animals, like it not. And the only thing that separates from animals is ritual. Might as well learn that in church or religion too.

I follow you there Billy, a familiarity with ones families faith is directly related to early grief, and coping, as well as an intro to community. It is often the intensity that a child is expected to get involved that raises concern.

very good question.

my family tends to respect whatever each other chooses to do. I think id probably be the same way with my children.

I will want my kids to have knowledge of my religion, but if they do not see it is the right one for them and they want to believe in something else, i will support them 100%

I am pagan, I'm raising my children as pagan until they decided that maybe I don't want to be pagan. I'm fine with that choice, as long as they don't harm themselves or others. I have been teaching them about being understanding and tolerant about other religions as well.

My Husband and I decided that our child/ren will be free to chose whatever religion and we will support them 100% on whatever they chose.

I have done my best to teach my child about all different religions and as he ages he will choose for himself what he wants to believe. His father and I have different beliefs but accept each others beliefs which in turn has taught our son to be tolerant and accept that everyone believes in different things, it doesn't make anyone right or wrong.

I have noticed he gets highly annoyed when people try to tell him what to believe. So it is good to see he will stand up for himself as well.

For the most part, mine. Spiritualism. She has a few things here and there that she thinks are so that are different than I. But generally, yes.

Well my dad was in the service and also worked for the government later, so we traveled alot and was taught to know and understand all religions and to respect anyones belief, we went to Baptist churches and was told we should choose what we feel was best for us, So we learned alot and we each had very different views LOl
Yet, we all practice my mothers Native belief of wiccan and our Indian Heritage. it is very natural to me to believe in the earth and respect it after all we live on it. lOL

My brother he became Catholic, hell my dad almost became a preist, yet he met and fell in love with my mom lOL Good old american indian maiden. :).

I was taught we should not ever shove a religion down a persons throat or scorn them for having a different belief,the musulims pray 5x's a day and we would hear them do it from roof tops in Turkey, Asia Minor. it was a totally awesome experience for us.

Yet, just not my thing at all. Imean most their laws over there are *Old Testament* practices.

Everyone should learn and choose what fits them best in my opinion...

I don't have any children and my parents never tried to force any particular religion down my throat but I've always held the believe that go go with what feels right for you as a long as you respect other people's points of view.

My son is an Episcopalian just like I am. But I asked him if he wanted to be baptized... he did. If he told me he didn't I wouldn't have forced it on him.

Just keep in mind this doesn't always have to be Christianity forced. My mom tried to force all of us to be strictly new age pagans- I became a Christian out of that. She forced a lot of things on us we were not comfortable with.

I actually raise my child this way: I tell him that 'I believe' God is in all religions, speaking to people through their culture and language- but Christianity is the comfort zone I have found for myself. People will say I am wrong because the Bible states Jesus saying "I am THE way, truth, and life..." I understand that as Jesus' way is the 'right' way- loving your neighbor and all that wonder stuff, following his life's examples... you don't have to be a 'Christian' to do that.

If my son were to find himself pulled to another religion later that was based in good, I wouldn't feel he abandoned anything.

That is an awesome post Images. a core summary, so very rare.

I think that it is important for a family to have unity, and for parents not to be lazy; especially in regard to their childrens spiritual growth.

This generally implies that the child should be reared in the religeon of the family. Every religion has an age of maturity at which point the child determines that they believe. After this point, the parent is no longer in control in this regard... the child is "damned or saved" on their own merit after this point.

In short... before arround age 15 it is the parents responsabilty, and after that it is the childs. The parent however should still insure spiritual progress, such as if a child chooses not to make spiritual progress due to lazyness... the parent should interfere... in a manner which does not bring disunity to the family.

A child is also responsable for unity within the family, and should not disregard parental values when explaining their spirituality to them.

When my daughter was a child she was exposed to Catholic, Baptist, and New Age religion. Nothing was ever forced on her. I always said she would be able to choose her own religion and I stuck to that. I accepted the path she chose...which ended up being none of those three she grew up observing.
I do not think that we, as parents, should ever force any beliefs on our children.

Yes I agree with Images she stated it very wll. we do not force things at all yet, we learn to respect all the different religions bcause of the same reasons that you gave Images. :) god is in each religion just in different context. so follow your heart I say.

you expose them to yours as your raising them but let them decide on their own

i was raised within a christian household, it never was the right path for me. i am pagan. i have 2 kids and while they were growing up i exposed them to as many different religions and faiths that i was able to. upon their coming of age they chose their path, both have chosen to follow the pagan path. i felt it was my duty to educate and show them what their options were so they could make an informed decision.

For my children it is their choice and what they choose is what they choose. It is their path in life and all I can do as a parent is to teach them to be tolerant and respect others beliefs.

I think the wisest thing to do, is to let them know that they can always research and do some field work in what ever they are interested in for the added experience, then let them differentiate for themselves on what their choices will be for all things, including theological.

How else will the children learn.. By example comes into play, but for their own well being and for a greater learning experience, if they would like the parental involvement for the added boost of confidence and or self esteem, then the parent should oblige them with massive effort. Thus the communication between parent and child is not effected by the "cause and effect" experience.

I agree with JudasBrood, but I do have a son. I was myself raised Catholic, but found the flaws (in my opinion) in the Church early, and thru my searching, became a Satanist. As a father, I had to choose if my son was to be baptized or not, seeing how the whole family wanted me to. But as I told them, I will let my son choose what religion he want's to follow. It is not my choice, because each person is different. He will be raised without my influence, although he will know, when he is older, my religious beliefs. I want him to search for what he believes in, and whatever it may be, I stand behind him 100%. I will be this way with all my future children as well.

Agreed there Soulshroude, considering most schools teach things from a Christian stand point, showing them to research and find out for themselves is important.

My children know that they can ask me any time about any religion and if I can't answer them we go looking for the answer together. My eldest followed a Christian path for a while as it was what their friends did. But as they matured they have follow their own path. One is studying Wicca, one believes in God but not in Christian values. My youngest has told me that he isn't ready to decide but when he does he will let me know or ask for help. And I fully support them all.

Are those of whom once were "Christian" oriented, and now have moded themselves as "Satanist" ever think that their children may meld into the same limelight and how do these individuals feel about this? If the child becomes rebellious in nature, then what does the parent do when they have set the example themselves before the childs eyes?

Does this not bother some?

I personally don't like it, and will argue the point with any parent that they should give their children the freedom of choice.

I was lucky in that I was raised with parents who didn't care as long as I didn't join a religious sect they were happy to let me make my own choice. Both were raised hard core Catholics.

I think children rebel because their forced to follow something that isn't right for them. And that can lead them down dangerous paths just to spite their parents.

The point of my last post was, what would the parent do if their child became very negative in atmosphere, mood and attitude. Becoming just as the parent could be, but in a differant light altogether? Could the negativity of theology that was mirrored by choice regarding the child to the parent; not out of pressure, out of choice alone, make it all that more nessessary for the parent to "groom" their children with good living qualities that are not nessessarily theologically based? Theology has a bit to do with the way of their upbringing, but how would the reflection be dealt with by the parents who brought the "influence" into the mind of their children?

A Satanist in the house being the only mentor that the child has, even if to be a Satanist is by the choice of the child themselves.

I hope this thread is following me. It is very psychological.

Well, EVERYONE has their own choice. No one person can chose another persons religion.

One thing that raises my Eye Browe is the Parents that project their faith on their children as an extension accesory to their Devotion.

Sort of like a dog owner that forces their lap dog to wear Pink Fuzzy Costumes, and declare the dog just loves it, even when it is obvious the animal is physically uncomfortable.

When I was younger I was Catholic, then Christian, and etc. Until I found my path in Wicca.

My children should experienece as I have if they wish and choose what they feel is right for them, not me or anyone else but themselves.

dabbler, "Parents that project their faith on their children"? It's that why many parents have children for in the first place? Parents project themselves on all aspects to their kids. The college they didn't get to, the professional jobs they didn't get, that better life, etc. Children are nothing but little me's of their parents' unfulfilled wishes and dreams. Parents love their children so much because they see and want to project themselves into their them. Including their religious belief system. (I'm soo much in trouble for posting this) But seriously, on some levels it is probably true.

Highly suspect activity from parents.

I am flashing on the 9 year old fundamentalist soap box hells fire kid, with his father pacing beside him, not watching his boy, but watching the faces of fellow Fundimentalist..as if to say.. "See how I trained him?"


Then I spectulate that the 9 yr old is now about 20, and in collage, and either burnt out on trying to please his pops, or so far removed socially development wise that he is on the verge of Bombing a Gay bar to impress his god of Damnation..

There is a line that is crossed, just past moderate.
When will people ask, what are they investing in their religion, and what is it they expect out of that religion.

Community? I endorse that.

To intimadate, and Impress their peers? Thats a lame reason to do anything.

Another sad example, from my personal observations while a denomination hoping Christian, in a Pentacostal
Revival Church (not really a fixed location church) a mother was rather unstable, and tended to use prayer request as a gossip oppertunity, noone really confronted her on this, but subtly stopped including her in home studies.. she blamed it on her daughter, in earshot of other members, as well as new arrivals. that she was not "Filled with the spirit.. as she had been raised to be.." However upon examination the daughter was very wellversed in her bible learning, and was considered for sunday daycare classes, and womans study.. the mom.. burned mad.. because all she had was her pious rants.

"Well, EVERYONE has their own choice. No one person can chose another persons religion."

*Chuckles* Of course they can, after all.. It is their CHOICE.

I followed this thread and have to say I saw many good points but I can add something of mine to only a few.

Bloodmother asked:

Why must one have a religion? Can't you just have a philosophy?

Very true, it's the same for me, I for example have no religion, so if I ever have children, them having a religion or philosophy wouldn't make me any difference except if it's harmful, my worry is this country and its bullying and discrimination towards people who don't follow the religion that is the most popular. Even if they don't have any is not a problem for me.

Billy says:

''Religion provides us with a foundation to build on later. The trouble is never the religion itself but the lack of growth from the individual. Once we get set in our ways, the mind closes in because we now 'know-it-all.' We stop to make the questions to promote growth.

Better to have the child follow a religion that they or familiar with first - yours. Then build on that themselves.''

Not necessarily a religion, but your own moral views and explain why not just: you have to do so because I say so, or because god wants to, or 'because that's how things go. That's the way I was raised and I don't like it. For me, you have to explain why something is wrong, this includes also social laws.

Then Billy says again:

''Children are nothing but little me's of their parents' unfulfilled wishes and dreams.''

In a way yes but I don't think that every parents is like that. It never crossed my mind to make children for that purpose, but observing my parents, I have to say, that, that's what they do. I also noticed that, that they consider something as wrong only if they're the ones who didn't do it, heh...

Dabbler asks:

''There is a line that is crossed, just past moderate.
When will people ask, what are they investing in their religion, and what is it they expect out of that religion.

Community? I endorse that.

To intimidate, and Impress their peers? That’s a lame reason to do anything.''

You gave very good examples, I think that many parents don't even ask that question, they simply do so, because that's how they were raised so they do the same with their children. And yes for their peers too, to show how much of a good girl/boy their children are.

I see this happening when their daughters and sons get in their 20's. They start asking them about relationships because they want to show their peers that their son/daughter made it, that they became adults, they don't focus on the idea of love, but to the conformist idea of having a family, so that they can show their wedding and grandchildren pictures to the other grandparents so that they fit in, peer pressure happens in adulthood as well.

Soulshroud asks:

''...but how would the reflection be dealt with by the parents who brought the "influence" into the mind of their children?''

I honestly don't know, I guess it's a fear that any parent has or maybe it doesn't even come in to our mind, honestly I didn't think about this.

I think that when parents raise their children they are thinking that the child is going to be like them, therefore good, then when it doesn't they define their child as rebellious therefore a bad child. If in any case the parent themselves was rebellious and the child becomes rebellious too in a negative manner, I think that's when parents start to feel guilty and think they did a bad job.

I think that parents believe they're going to raise a perfect child by teaching them and giving them all they need, when in reality there's no perfect child. When they tech something and that lesson is not practiced by the child parents become disappointed.

All this makes me realise more about the difficulty to raise children.

I don't remember who, but someone said that we get influenced by our teachings even if we don't follow them.

To a certain degree I agree but not completely. As any other child I asked a lot of questions, but not always I got a logical (in my opinion) answer so certain things didn't influence me, I think that I'd be the same person even with different teachings, this same topic I discussed it in the real life, and they told me that for example, I am aware about women rights because I live in the west, I agree but I think that I've some things that are internal, thoughts that have been there forever.

Example, I never agreed with the difference of upbringing of me and my brother. In my opinion they should have raised us the same without making gender differences, I did not have this opinion as an adult only, I had this opinion even when I was a child.

My last comment for now will be: Honestly who wouldn't prefer it if their children had the same beliefs?

I guess it's all about how you much you accept it or not. Or how much you obsess about it or not.

Neither my wife or myself attend church on a regular basis although we both grew up going to church. What we do is allow our children to attend church with other family members when they wish to go. This allows them to learn about several different churches and allows them the freedom to decide what they like without forcing any one belief on them.

I teach my kids that religion is nonsence, I dont agree with most religions and I wont pretend to be, i'm not tolereant of other religions either especially right hand path religions.

I dont care what anyone living next door to me, or down the street to me believes in. Dont bring it to my door, I dont want to know. If I did i'd ask.

My kids talk to me about god and jesus, the stuff they are taught at school and I tell them my opinion that its a load of nonsence...funny because the little buggers will have there own say whatever we think, all 3 of my kids started off liking god in the christian sense and as they grew up they changed about it

I'm a pagan but i'm not a religous pagan, I do the practical side of paganism without the philosophy/theology

Its just the way I am :-)

I guess in all fairness I was born a christian, but thats just cuz I was baptized.. me and my entire family and pretty much everyone I know are atheists.. norway isn't much for religion

I never forced any religion on my children. If they wanna tend church that is up to them I dont go to church but I will not force my belief onto them I let them choose their own ways.

Billy makes a solid point in giving children a foundation from which to build. Your job then would be to encourage a lifelong mindset of questioning, questing, and continuing to grow.

What many here don't seem to understand in being open and letting your kids decide is that you have taken a stand not to take a stand. Our children watch us and learn from our behavior so in effect you are modeling how not to take a stand. It's sort of the "whatever" school of parenting.

On its lowest level teaching some religion gives your kids something to rebel against. That's how it worked with me. Do you want them to rebel against fundamentalist religion or turn to religion because they have no direction? It happens in some of the best free-thinking families.

My children were raised with no formal religion. They got exposed to it elsewhere, of course, and not all of it was christian. They asked me what I was cause their friends (and probably their friend's parents) wanted to know. I told them to say that I was a pagan in the christian tradition.

No telling what they heard or what they repeated because just recently one of them finally got the joke. *sigh*

My children will pick their own just like I did, when it is time, religion or faith in the path they which to choose.

I agree wallflower although I confess I actively ridicule most religions my kids may talk about...

Some would disagree with you though and say that by not educating them you chance to drive them into the wrong type of religion.

Luckily I live in the UK we are very private really brits, we dont have huge cults of strange religions like the US so a lot of what you discuss here doesn't apply to us

I educate my kids, I inform them that its nonsense and let them go ahead and prove me wrong if they wish which they do try ......

billy your probably right mate but not all parents are like that

isn't it human nature to project your views onto your children

I expect dabblers children will grow up to question the color of the sky and not take anything for granted not a single thing without questioning it and putting it through the proverbial mill, I mean this in jest dabbler *grins*

It is good to question things but sometimes we have to except the answer or else we shall spend a lifetime searching for something and wasting enjoying it

I never said that I wouldn't educate my children [If I ever have any] just that I'd allow them to make the ultimate decision for themselves. Educating and choosing are two entirely different things.
I think you can educate someone without persuading them in one direction or another.

I won't be making anhy babies actually I am not a procreater.

had I children, I would fugure they would be Hethens as was I as a child. I was raised without Politics, or religion. My mom did empisis education, the three Rs.

I investigated a few religions, including eastern, and western. through trial and error I came back to the default practice of humankind.

Simple put I am for what every makes people content, without depleating from what makes others content.

I understasnd your post was in jest, but actually you grazed upon a valid inquiry.

I wouldn't perpetuate Santa to chilren either, but I respect the rights of other parents to pitch santa to their children.

I have seen the fall out of pitching the Boogy Man as well. I have seen children at Holy Roller seminars/camps, and a adult person with a rational would cringe to see the mental abuse preached to children.

I see nothing wrong with introducing a child to options, or allowing them to explore churches, because
if not the parent, then eventually someone will, and the child is likely to initiate for the wrong reasons.

I have two little girls, I'm a philosophical ecclectic, my husband is agnostic. I just want to teach them tolerance until they're old enough to understand religion, and the different foundations. Young children don't understand concepts unless they're basic, like 1+2=3. Whatever you first teach them about will be drilled into their head, and it hinders them finding their own path.

Unfortunately Bloodmother, in the UK, very young children are forced to learn and believe in the christian theology because it is part of the national school curiculum. Britain being a christian country so to speak.

So, my four year old daughter comes home and says we were made by god from adam and eve...

The problem with this is that when they get older they are told that actually science says that we come from apes

My 14yr old get this problem in high school when the RE teacher says one thing and the science says another and I say play one off the other cause its freaking funny

My daughter got an after school detention the other day for refusing to acknowledge that jesus died on a cross to save her soul ( she is into paganism) so i had to go to the school wearing as much pagan items as I could to ram down there throats that they should not be preaching this stuff and then punishing kids for not believing.

In UK young kids get this rammed into them from an early age and its wrong but a fact of life

I think there was thread like this sometime last year. ^_^
I was force fed the Christian religion at a very young age so I was less apt to buy into it.
I believe it's important to expose children to all types of religion. This way, they learn and can choose for themselves and they don't start bashing other religions in the process.

Lordbaalnox: Do Muslims study christianity in the public schools in the U.K.?

Watched a French film the other night, Blame it on Fidel, about a young girl's experience when her parents become communists. One of the things that they do is demand that she not attend religion classes. It makes her an outsider. At least for a time.

Right or wrong, I think that its every perents job to make sure there kids are on the path to heaven, we can only do that with what we were taught. Besides, show me a parent that wants to be in heaven someday without there children there too.........Its our job to do whatever we believe is right that will assure us that our kids and there kids will make it to heaven.....and we did not come from apes.....thats the devils crap.......

Dallas Doc Wade

Path to heaven PAHH!!!

thats great if you believe that mate but i dont

Not sure about muslims in UK schools i've never raised one :-P

My Children are their own individuals, granted they will not come into their own for some time, but regardless, I'm willing to support their spiritual needs.

If they wish to be Followers of Christ, Hindu, Athiest, Satanists, etc, I am willing to support them so long as it doesn't involve killing others or anything that could lead to serious trouble.

- Sin

In Malta the most practiced religions are Roman Catholic and the Jehovah’s Witness, lately the Muslim religion as well, but at my times they were the only two.

Religion was part of the educational system and if children were of Jehovah’s Witness, their parents did not let them attend to religion classes.

In certain cases these children were discriminated, but it didn't happen always.

So that's my fear, that they'd be bullied.

Also recently, two names of children were mentioned on the news paper along with their mother's, because it was written that she is a Satanist and that she is getting her sons in the wrong path, all this because there was the Wiccan Pentagram tattooed on her arm.

First of all this is illegal, second her children are most probably going to be discriminated, because their names are rare in this country.

That's my fear.

It’s not my case, for now but it can happen to me too. I don't have tattoos but here you get discriminated even for listening to metal, you can even lose your job.

However if I'll have children, I'd want them to get knowledge before judging that someone is evil and whatever.

Luckily I was wise enough to not get infected by the ignorance's virus of my country.

I was bought up in the Christian faith / religion .. call it what you will .. but I find it difficult to put faith in any religion really ..
I think if I ever had kids .. which I pretty much know ain't gonna happen, I think I would have them baptized into the Christian faith (because apparently its some kinda sin against the kid not to) ... but apart from that, I would let them find their own way .. I would not try to force ANY kind of religion down ANYONES neck!

I personally would accept any religion they chose as long as they are happy im happy

I believe that children should be aloud to pick there religion plain and simple.

I would prefer that children had differant beliefs then their parents. For a single fact that debates may last for hours, but during those theological debates with their parents they seem to forget one tiny detail. They are spending "quality time" with their parents, which is rare these days. What ever conversations arise, at least the time is very well spent. Even if it is debating about which religion is "what ever."

Even after children become adults they can express their thoughts with the parents without any of the parts involved, interferes or express their opinions to create dispute.

Even afterwards parents should consider their choices and take care of them.

Yes religion/philosophy discussions should be included in a family, even if they disagree it is still a way to spend time together and by disagreeing no one should feel offended it just the way one debates, like it happens on VR, people won't agree but they still can debate with each other.

"Children" before they can choose their path, like anyone else, need to be aware or educated about the possible paths that are before them. This would also include the maturity level to comprehend and fully understand said choices.

Unlike those certain unlucky few whos parental figures would force the religion down their throats from ages 5 and up... Grrr.

Before if you get baptized when you're a few months old.

I know these parents love their children and for them they're doing the right thing, I don't condemn them, but honestly I'd preferred if I had a choice.

It's not necesarilly force feeding. Geez people, get off it! A family's religion/beliefs very often run deep. Whats wrong with that. You say kids should be able to choose for themselves, yet how the hell are they supposed to make an educated choice as far as to whats best for them unless they know what each religion is about. A persons first brush with religion more often than not is going to stem from their family's tradition. In time they find out whether or not it's a path they are comfortable in following. If it isn't then so be it, find another. Really, at age 5, no one is mature enough to make such a decision anyway.

In fact in time they choose not at childhood, but not telling them 'this is your religion and should believe in it because I say so,' this is what I was told. I believed the religion I was taught not because I really felt so but because I was told to so because adults say so.

Certain adults remain that way.

Yes, I understand that. Like I said, most family's religious roots run deep...and most people being steeped in tradition want future generations of their family to carry on in the same fashion as they. HOWEVER, what I'm saying is that in time, a person matures mentally, emotionally, etc... and becomes more capable of making decisions on their own. When you're a kid, your parents are repsonsible for you and your well being therefore decisions are made for you until you are old enough to comprehend and make your own.

lol This is why i don't like talking about religion or politics etc because these are the worst subjects to get the pots of society stirring and emotions going esp where beliefs are concerned and how we react towards confrontations from others who may come off too defensive when questioned about it, or hostile in some form and i find it all to be ridiculous.

ALL religions and faith, is nothing more than built up hopes and theories. That's it. God or Gods is a theory, and idea, a reason to live or how we came to be to try and give an answer to those whom question it. They are nothing more than "maybes".

Now, for those of you that believe our children have to have religion in their lives.....would be mistaken. Mine are fine without it, sure they hear other people talk about it but that's because where im from, it's sort of a requirement to know this garbage. Because why? Parents in MY time couldn't see outside the box. Some still don't.

I'm pretty sure that once apon a time the world didn't have a need for religion at all. They just needed some reason to exist. I believe most of the natives gave their thanks to nature and whatever idea of "gods" they came up with.

If there was any TRUTH in religion at all, then how come depending on where you are from, there are various stories in how our creation even began? Even in Christianity, there's 2 stories of how we came to exist.

Some religions was a PUSH of power throughout the masses to either be FORCED to believe this way or DIE, or be the heathen and hide. Hm....doesn't really make room for alternatives does it?

I wouldn't say there's ANYTHING wrong at all from removing the God factor from the picture and just allowing children to formulate what is truth from what actually IS around them , instead of filling their head with "maybes, and theories". What good does that do for anyone?

Not to piss off anyone here but I'm more of the outside of the box type of parent. I realize that other parents whom were raised differently or depending on what is socially acceptable will be pushed onto my child throughout their lifetime, through other kids and school and they will probably be called a freak for NOT believing the same way they do, which is crap.

So how do we avoid this type of behavior from the religious ones to the non-religious types?

I think it's ok to discuss what you believe in but not try to push it onto them. To keep in mind that most of it is in FACT theories, not proven. There has to be some honesty and people truly lack what honesty is.

Our children (DarkOsmosis and myself) are learning by example. At their young ages, they need some kind of direction or they grow up with no foundation to build on.
We are not religious, but we do have traditions and are making new traditions as we go along. We are all comfortable with the way it is now.

Now, when they get old enough to choose their own path, I will advise them, but never push them. We will honor whichever path our children choose. They are individual and their path will be different from ours...that's just the way life goes. But children do need a foundation to build upon and we do our best to provide that.

i could never chose my child's religion for them., i would let them explore all of them and let them fully understand each one fully., when i was a child though i was forced in to becoming a prodisent but about ten years ago i have changed my religion, the way that i see it people inculding children should be free to do and chose almost what ever they want to do or become

GWF...I totally agree. Children do need a foundation in which to help base their decision on, when they are old enough to do so.

If a parent forces a child to be as Devote as they wish to appear, a line is crossed. I keep getting the flashbacks to Carrie.

Would anyone agree that a parent who puts their child on a soap box to yell out how people are going to hell is too far.

Sending a child to some seminar to Scare God Into Them, is too far?

"Sending a child to some seminar to Scare God Into Them, is too far?"

~Dab~, isn't that the same as sending them to a religiously run summer camp?

Once again, I totally agree that "forcing" one's spiritual beliefs another is wrong. BUT...when you're a child, key word here being CHILD, it is not wrong to expect that your child be exposed and taught your religious views. This is how we are first exposed to religious or non-relious beliefs and is a necessary evil. Without it we don't know whether or not it's something we agree with. It's the foundation for the future exploration of other options. It's what spurs some to take that step in another direction and find whats right for the individual.

Well stated.

A parent can demonsrate, and present their religions (or politics) to a child. But noone can choose that childs belief. Imposing, or intimadating a child with any personal preferrence is potential for mental anguish, and personality conflicts later in life when the child matures.

Indeed.

Everyone knows about Marilyn Manson. He was sent to a Christian school and were taught about the music they should not listen to.

So forcing religion is not going to make the child love the religion, but often the opposite result.

True, often the opposite is the result of intimidation. However in the case of someone like Marilyn Manson, or any other celebrity /musian for that matter, they are often influenced to put forth a "persona" that represents rebellion....which is always a great marketing tool. If ya get my drift. Shock value, rebellion...will always be in fashion to future generations so why not cah in. No such thing as bad publicity they say.

That's true as well.

Then I hear of people (adults) saying; I believe in this religion because that's what my mother taught me.

I think people should believe in a religion because they really believe in it, not only because their mother taught it them.

I find it strange that adults say such a thing, when I think of adulthood as being able to choose for yourself and not because your mother said so.

Then if you feel that's the right religion then fine, you have chosen.

The basis of this discussion could be a reason why many have "lost" their faith or may be having trouble finding it.

Sorry but i have to disagree. I don't feel that my kids need a foundation based on religion of theories and possible lies. Some parents teach their kids santa clause and the tooth fairy too but i'm not one of them! If you take a good look at your kids when they are small, they could care less about our religions and politics, and care more about getting their natural needs met and what it needs to survive. You don't actually need the rest.

We can teach them facts of life and what is truth instead of filling their heads with unneccessary information that adults tend to automatically assume is true or real based on stories and rumors.

its up to the parent. i will teach my children my own ways when the time comes, but if they choose another path, i will prolly support their choices.
but a parent does reserve the right to teach a child their own ways. that is the purpose of a parent...to guide a childs development in all areas.
~W~

I disagree to because to teach your children to have a fair and impartial look at all religions you'd have to really teach them so so much, you'd never have the time and you'd be bias, you will because there will always be something that you dont want your children exposed to for example

would you teach them about satanism?

Vampirism?

Luciferianism

Islam

Budhism

Judaism

Jehovah

plus many 100's more?

Can you honestly say you would or even could without mashing there tiny minds

Yes, I can honestly say that I can since I am not religious but do study all sides of theology itself. If my child were to come up to me and wish to discuss theology then I will gladly take part in said discussion, but I will not subject them to it myself until they ask me too. Therefore, I will not force theology upon them, I will let others do that for a future conversation between myself and them to take place.

If they do choose any religion, I will simply ask them why they joined or liked it which in turn implies a discussion of merit and not outcasting them for their ideals or philosophies.

That in a nutshell is the best way that I think religion should be brought to a childs attention. If they see something on the telly, read about it or are confronted about it by an outside source and wish to discuss the odds and ends, then I will gladly participate.

Nuff said.

Most people don't know much about religion, their own, or otherwise. I think it is slightly unfair to broadcast all your memes, and stereotypes apon your children.

For example... I dated a girl who was studying religion in University recently (I know I was a lot older than her,) and found out a lot of things about my own religion, and about how the outside world views aspects of my religion. I took to reading some of the things that teh opposition had to say about my religion, and learned alot about how it is percieved.

I think that anyone who has not looked at their religion from a detractors point of view, should not be able to perpetuate the memes that they employ.

Personally I feel that anyone posting in this thread, who has not experienced parenthood and has made statements pertaining to how wrong those of us are who are parents for trying to expose are children to choices really needs to step back. I find it it offensive and absolutely unintelligent to expect a child to be able to make such a crucial life decision such as spiritality without the nuturing and guidance of an adult. Yes I agree, as stated in an earlier post, that children (at least VERY young ones) don't give a damn about religion and only want or need their immediate needs met. That's obvious.... however, children need a foundation so as to know, when their young minds are capable, what the basics are and to lead them in which ever direction they choose, whether it be what their parents follow or to explore other options.

Very well stated ~Circe~, the children start somewhere...

I christian my two eldest children when they were babies and now they have grown up they have changed their religion. They really got into this church now they dont go. They change their minds so quickly these days, one day its the in thing next it isnt.

If that was an attack based on what i believe, i find that to be very unintelligent as well. What one believes doesn't have to match what another believes. There are many here who don't believe the same ways but to call us wrong for not wanting our children to build their foundations on theories or religion is a personal choice. Now i find it rather insulting that other people have a hard time understanding this when really it's adults who seem to feel that religion HAS to be in the picture. I'm sorry but I don't agree. End of story. If there was some truth behind them, then I MIGHT reconsider.

Simply put with no icing,

I allow my children to be taught religion at school because it is what the school does..teaches and it gives a base.

When they are old enough to understand...remembering that children are.... just children. Only then will they understand or even want to understand, what came first...the chicken or the egg!

And even then, we don't really have that answer now do we? lol At least nothing proven. That's my point exactly.

This thread has been automatically closed for length.