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I've been to many cemetaries. I enjoy them.
This is a general discussion. Do You believe your loved ones are really there? D you need to visit them at a grave to speak to them? If a group of teens or adults had a party there, would it be a desecration? Or enterainment for your family members (i.e., they'd enjoy the company, observing the living enjoying themselves?) Is getting drunk there rude, obscene, or refreshing? Dancing and music? If they spoke to your family member's graves as you do?

And how do you view cemetaries?

My belief is that because it was the last place we put our loved ones we wanna believe that there is some part of them that still remains there. I dont know about others but I always feel relaxed and calm at a cemetary. We are going more and more to placing our loved ones ashes in a wall and I dont feel the same when I go visit my loved ones in that situation as I do when there is a grave. I also love looking at old graves it shows how much someone cared about their family members.

I don't like cemeteries and plan to be cremated myself. I absolutely don't believe that any energy of the person who has died remains with the body after death.

once someone is buried -- I never go back to the grave ,

I enjoy grave with pictures of the dead. Like a connection to the desceaced. I enjoy walking amogst the tombstones, I prefer them to plaques.

I belive it`s the last place where you seen your loved one, so you have a connection to them there ...

I go to the cemetary to visit my loved ones, but I can also talk to them anywhere that i am. If people party in the cemetary I do believe that to be rude of the dead

I enjoy going to cemetarys, love to take pics etc....., i find them very intresting love to learn about the history of certain cemetarys

I do not believe my loved ones are there, but it does provide a meeting place for family members to come together.
Personally one would go to a place that had meanngful memories of the person.

i dont believe my loved ones are "in " the cemetary. its just i'm not too sure on having a party in a cemetary. regarless if they are "there" in a sense its just common courtesy to respect the dead's final resting place.

I always talk to my buried relatives. Let them know I'm okay and everything else. I want them to understand in this life and the next that I love them and appreciate them.

well, if they're buried there, it's obvious they're there. they're body is there. i don't think their spirit is at the cemetary; i believe that transcends beyond the earthly realm. i go to the cemetary to pay respect to the dead, so yeah, you could have a "party" there, just not a keg party.

I have went to handfastings at cemetaries when the two people wanted to be close to their relative. Sice I do believe in the afterlife, I do believe the spirit of those who pass on, are with us at times. A cemetary is just a reminder they are passed over. I enjoy going to the Civil War cemetary that is near me and reading the tombstones. But to visit a loved one at a cemetary...I much rather keep them alive in my memory of when they were living and that they are with me...watching over.

I love cemeteries, myself. Do I think my loved ones are there? No, whatever essence they had has long since gone leaving behind a shell of what once was. They are now maggot food. Do I go to the grave site to visit them? No. I do not need to visit with a stone that doesn't hold anything of the one who died.

If a group of teens or adults had a party there, would it be a desecration? Or entertainment for your family members
(i.e., they'd enjoy the company, observing the living enjoying themselves?
Not actually desecration, but certainly disrespectful. People partying in cemeteries always bugs the hell out of me. Do people even realize how much grave sites, mausoleums, coffins crypts and the general upkeep of a cemetery costs? People who have their family buried there have to pay fees each year for the groundskeepers to keep everything cleaned up, and when teens and stupid people go party there and leave their trash and all their bullshit behind, the cost goes up and it was already expensive to begin with.
They need to think of something besides getting drunk and high all the time and think of what it costs others.

Is getting drunk there rude, obscene, or refreshing? Dancing and music? If they spoke to your family member's graves as you do?

No getting drunk ANYWHERE is a sign of stupidity and lack of respect for yourself and immaturity. They are dead, they really don't care if you are a blooming idiot or not. Dancing and music? I don't think that really bothers them either, nor does people walking across their graves, although before they started adding the steel in the graves, it was a bad idea to walk across or sit on the graves, because the dirt would compact and sink in. A lot of times, coffins would be crushed, and you would have sink holes.

I agree with queenmorbid they are dead and it does not bother them. I just think it is disrespectful to party in thier final resting place

A graveside or memorial is just a focus point, for those remaining to share and meet as has been mentioned above. The memory comes from within ones own being. and is individual. Although in saying that I have been to many burial places Scotland just teems with them. and i do believe whispers exist.

No Queen there was no drinking no destruction. No disrespect. Just a 10 minute ceremony . Only 6 people attended including the two that were handfasted. There was a small party afterwards in a backyard of a friend. There is never disrespect for those who visit and plant flowers to keep their families grave sites up. To disrepect a cemetary is to disrespect someone's personal property.

well, as for what concerns me, I`d like to be incinerated.
and as for my view upon cemeteries .... I went there drinkin` and smokin` a few times, but not more than 5. I didn`t feel comfy. I thought I`d be haunted afterwards. (lol)
and knowing that the body of someone who was dear to me is laying there and some punks jumping, drinking, smoking and/or fucking isn`t quite a pleasant thought :)

I love Cemeteries,when ever I go for a walk through a cemetery I always feel at peace. I would think of it as desecration if somebody had a party and got drunk there,I mean how would you feel if a drunken teenager or adult p***ed all over the person you lost and loved dearly grave?? the intention of some one having a party in a grave yard might start out innocent but once your drunk it usually gets ugly.How ever if the party was with out alcohol then it would be quite refreshing to see. *yes I know I'm contradicting myself*

it was the last place we put our loved ones we wanna believe that there is some part of them that still remains there. Its ok to not go back to it after they are buried but its kind of a respect issue to visit them every once and awhile.

i go to the cemetary because i have always known it as as being a peaseful and resting place of the dead. I go there to the cemetary where my greatgrandmother lays and i have known her for 17 years of my life. it seems like her spirit is there and i can feel her.

While some might consider it to be a bad thing, its not uncommon for my friends and I to go "visit" a friend at the cemetery. We usually bring a small bottle of expensive liquor and sit around and reminisce. Instead of being all weepey and sad we share stories and celebrate his life in our own way. We sometimes leave simple, but appropriate, little things like guitar pics, lighters, and small candles. Its a way to remember our dear friend and be at peace with what happened.

love cemtaries, worked in one for 8 years, but i go to relax and write. many of my family are in montana so hard for me to get there everyday, but i do feel there is an aura around the cemetaries. wether its spirtual or just energy to help relax me.

I would rather be cremated myself, and I do not feel a need to visit loved ones, once they are buried, for I feel they can be reincarnated, all souls are recycled. I am living my 15th or so life and have many more lifetimes to go. The grave & cemetary to me symbolizes finality, the end and I strongly believe there is no ending when we die.

Jackofspades u say that u and your friends bringa small bottle of expensive liquor and sit around and reminisce. I feel that is very appropriate. You are not having a party, but u are celebrating the times of thsi person who was and will always be your friend. I find that very respectful to do.

I agree, we by no means party hard or trash the place while we are there. We just sit to ourselves, have a few drinks, and talk about old times. We usually do it late at night so we know we won't be disturbed and won't bothers others as well.

I go to the cemetary to take pictures and relax, and to occasionally talk to the people who have passed, but I can also talk to them anywhere. partys in cemetarys is just wrong I believe.

I believe when you're dead, you're gone. Whatever gets buried or burned or thrown in the ocean is meat - just like the roast at Sunday dinner. Nothing left of the soul in that meat. I think that a cemetery does help people to feel as if there is something left ...

To me a cemetery is nothing more than a place to bury your dead, I do not believe that they can "hear" anything that goes on there, once deceased thats it for your body.

I do find it rude when teenagers or others have "parties" there as a burial site should be treated with due respect.

Cemetaries are places to put your loved one's body so that you have a place to reflect if needed. Depending on your beliefs, different cultures celebrate death in different ways.

Going into a cemetary after hours FOR ANY REASON is against the law in all places that I am aware of and is highly disrespectful to those who have loved ones there.

Pagan wise it is not uncommon to have sex on a ancestors grave for fertility ritual, or being Goth for that morbid buzz lol
If you have a macabre fascination for death where better to explore than the graveyard.
The Vail between death and life is more potent there for sure, Ouija boards go out of control ….. strange appearances … even possession.
I believe that is where I picked up my succubus

i don't think it's right to party in a cemetary. i think it's not respectful to the dead.

I agree that partying in the cemetery isn't the most moral thing you can do but thats why I dont party there. Its not like I run around with noise makes and funny hats haha. Sharing a drink or two with friends while conversing about the past is basically harmless in my opinion, especially when the friend you are "visiting" used to be a close friend and drinking buddy as well. We dont litter. We dont even raise our voices above normal speaking volume. So, you won't convince me that I have done anything wrong. Everyone deals with death in their own way and this is how we choose to deal with this one.

I find cemetary's to be peaceful and a great place to meditate.

i think cemetaries are peaceful too but then again that's the way it should be. it's the final resting place for most people.

I have thought on this long ago here an article Thadeleophilia the fondness for cemeterys and I feel that if say when I was alive I went with a loved one to a cemetery to put roses on a family members grave. when that person dies , and we imagine they linger as something of a "material" memory that they could assume we will come to our grave yard and share a moment in your presence so if a person was not "initiated" to the sacredness of a cemetery I could see them being less "connected to such things.

I generally don't like going to graveyards as they kind of scare me.

I believe in ghosts so I'm sure there will be a lot of them there.

But, I did used to go and see my grandad when he died and that didn't scare me. I think maybe it's because I loved him a lot. I haven't been back to see him for some time now. Maybe I should.

I do believe that the people who died and were buried there are still there maybe in spirit or something like that.

They still freak me out though.

Personally the thought of my dead body being placed in a box and buried in the ground sounds like a waste of wood and space. I would prefer cremation myself.
Cemetaries are sacred space, and therefore it would be an insult to those planted there to have poeple who do not honour them by respecting their right to be in peace.
However visitors who remain respectful should be encouraged.
Those that sleep below the ground are only the decaying bodies of the dead. However many of their family members believe that paying a visit to their grave is communing with their dearly departed loved one. However the cemetary does hold some way of making it seem like the spirits of the dead are about, a whisper in the wind, a dark cloud passing in front of the moon, the hoot of an owl. Who can say what dwells there in the place of the dead, especially around the end of October.

In short, I find them a place that need be respected. We place the dead in graves so that their bodies won't be disturbed and can remain at rest.

I go once a year to my buried loved ones. Any other time i need to speak to them i just do it. I think a piece of that person is always with you.. I do however as a hobby adventure into many cemetaries and take photo's for a website. I enjoy looking at tombstones and taking rubbings..

I feel alot of it just has to do with how you believe or the culture your from. As some have said, it is disrespectful to go in there after dark and do crazy things , against the law.

Now I have to admit when I was in new Orleans we did go into some very OLD' Cemetries and OMG! I seen so many different things in them that was just amazing to see the different cultures and religions that were showcased on the Tombstones and just in the cemetry. I loved the French and then there were the Voodoo stuff. Like there was some that had like chiken feet, or dolls etc. some had medallions. All I can say is I love New Orleans..... :) LOL Anyhoo, I only go to the cemeteries to pay my respect on their special days. I get too emotional if I stay too long or too much, I am a sensitive so I tend to stay away as much as possible.

JUST TO ME A CEMETERY IS ( Oops! caps were locked.)just to spiritual place. good or bad it is very spiritual... :) My opinion.

We have several cemeteries around here. I'm drawn to the very oldest one, and find myself wandering there on many a weekend afternoon. To see the really old stones and wonder who the people were...the whole place seems a very calm and relaxing location. I enjoy my times there...but personally when the time comes I hope I am cremated, because the spirit flies free when you die, and my old bones will be scattered so they can fly free too.

I do not think that anything other than their decomposing corpse is located in a cemetary. That being said I do visit the graves of my loved ones who have passed. To me it is, as other's have said, just a physical location that is dedicated to their memories.

I enjoy walking in cemetaries. I like reading the grave markers and taking note of the various expressions of memorials they contain. I find cemetaries peaceful and not at all "creepy" in any way.

well I do not feel they are creepy or scary, just I get emotional.. LOL otherwise I love them. I also will be cremated as well and my ashes will be spead across our property. Actually sounds peaceful if you think about it ...

I believe a Cemetery is where you go to respect the one who have passed on. How every they lived life, should be how you respect them in the after life.

Cemetarys is 1 of few places that humans uselly respect and dont destroys. I dont really belive they who have been buried there is present there other then in the mind of they who visit the cemetary.

There was a really good movie about this called "Graveyard dancers"

Today it is burial desecreation to dance on graves etc, but in the old days, it was a custom to do, a way of celebrating life.

I sometimes visit my fathers and other loved ones graves. Not because I belive that they are still there, but because it gives me peace. It is so peaceful at the cemetaries and that is why I enjoy visiting.

I also like to meditate near my fathers grave. Whenever I am depressed or scared, I go there and remembering all the positive things from he was still alive really helps.

cemetaries exist for the emotional benefit of the living Those living that need them anyway. As I've said in other forums I believe we are just meat after we die. Dont care what happens to my body when I'm gone. I'm an organ donor so maybe I'll be able to save a life or two as I go.

One of the great coven sires on here works in a cemetary... he has found it fascinating and must have a few interesting experiences.

i think that cemetarys should be enjoyed and yes the dead would watch the partyers just like i want to get married on a cemetary but the government says that it is a bad thing to do that so yeah.

I have always found peace at a cemetary. I especially love the old ones, with the unique headstones and tombs... for me, a great place to sit and contemplate.

After my grandmother died not long ago I couldn't bring myself to go back to her grave. I saw her being lowered into the grave so it totally freaks me out to be around that place..I simply can't handle it.

No, I believe they pass on. I can't think of any reason the dead would wish to return to their bodies. That would be like visiting an old sneaker after throwing it away.

We can communicate with our loved ones anywhere. Going to the cemetary gives us a chance to show respect by visiting

i believe any sacred buriel sight what ever cemetery it is, is just that sacred ..... although i do not believe that the dead really do reside there its more a place for the living to keep showing there respects and to keep morning for there lost loved ones year after year........

After you lived a full life I'm rather sure that you wouldn't want people throwing parties around your tomb while you're trying to rest in peace.

my two cents, I my self once in a while visit my family in there graves so to have a memory stured up in the back of my mind of what that family member was to me, I no I tend to forget who has passed and all the sudden 20 years goes by, and i ask my self ine day this world will have nothing but cemetarys one day.

as far as some one having a party with the dead, they wouldn't no i don't think..

I don't believe that my departed loved ones are always at the cemetary. I feel that they come and visit me whenever they can, like for special holidays and events. For the most part, I believe that the departed stay in the spirit realm, but that they are not restricted by space and time as we are.

I'm not positive how I feel about getting intoxicated and partying at the cemetary. I suppose some spirits who are there might take offense to that, while others may enjoy it. In certain spiritual traditions, especially with African based ones, there are certain guidelines and ritualistic steps to take before entering a cemetary so as not to offend the spirits. Then again, the same African traditions have certain spirits of the dead that enjoy drinking and festivities.

c they are just places that we go to see our loved ones tombstone but they are not there in soul but just body

i like this one cemetary that i passed through in PA one time. i forget the name of the vampire or the name of the town it was in but it was so peaceful i felt like every body in there was resting well.

O'k.... Hispanic ultures have celebrations for the dead "Dia De Los Muertos" It's a very big deal. Here in Hollywood Cemetary there parties thrown, movie night, and you bet there is boozing. (granted I'm sure all burials consist with waivers to be buried on the property). I've thrown parties myself. We've ALWAYS picked up after ourselves, mindful of every cigarette and empty container. Done many other things in cemetaries... :) I've known grave robbers (in it for the persuit of witchcraft.) I see we all have different views of what not to cross, and where the line is drawn. Whether there is right and wrong is purely opinionated personal belief. In the end we'll find out if it all ever really mattered anyway. If the vessel maters at all when it meets the Conqueror Worm....

a safe quiet place to collect thoughts and remmember lost loved ones...

I love them...I always feel safe in them and at peace. I don't care if a lot of people make fun of me for it...I really do love them.

I've always loved cemetaries, I've always found them a place of relaxation & peacefulness. I never could understand why some people are so intimidated by them.

I do believe my loved ones are there. If I saw a group of teens, or adults, having a party & dancing on my grandad's grave, they'd be about to enter an early one. I'd go apeshit. I think it's completely rude & disrespectful. & I'm 99% sure they'd feel the same way if it was one of their loved ones.

I dont think they as in their spirits stay there but I think they can visiti us when we are there. I dont think we need to be at thier graves to visit with them...I seem to be able to commune with my past loved ones whenever and where ever I choose.

i think cemetaries are just a place they put the dead, ive never realy loved or trusted anyone so i wouldnt say loved ones just yet, but what people do there in my opinion is between them and the corpses

For me, cemetary are sacred place. To have a party at a cemetary is an insult to the dead and to the family. Yes, I dolove to walk and see the departed beacause they are in a better place than our place.

Going to the cemetary to see your loved one you should respect them if you think they would want you to sit down and talk to them then do it. I planted flowers at my mothers cause she would have liked that she liked flowers. I could see my fathers accepting you going there and having a drink with him. I think it is a person meeting with your loved one who has passed no I don't think you should party there because you could upset other visters but you can do what you like to respect your falled loved one.

I love going to cemeteries too. I do not believe that the soul stays there except on rare occasions. So, all the partying in the world doesn't bother me. I do enjoy the peacefulness I feel in a cemetery very much. I actually go to random cemeteries just to read the headstones. Some of them are so cool. My dad and I use to go on long car rides just to check out different cemeteries. Now I go visit his grave instead. When I am dead and buried, I hope kids do come to mine to party. If I am still there, maybe I'll join in the fun. LOL

I like cemetaries too...it's too bad that the old graves in the San Francisco mission are off limits now. I use to go there a lot to meditate and take pictures. But, I guess it's for the best - preserve what we have!

I love the older cemeteries with interesting headstones. Most of the cemeteries throughout the US anyway are owned by the same people and they don't often put up the upright stones like you find on older graves. I guess it is for mowing purposes. You can get them in certain places but it is no longer the trend. Gravestone rubbing is a wonderful hobby and as far as peaceful I doubt that would have anything more to do with anyone but the living. I live in a high latino area and just like on the Day of the Dead on special days such as Mother's Day or Father's Day, the person's birthday sometimes they will go and place flowers and any number of things on the gravesite and put down a blanket and have lunch.

posting my personal perception on this subject. With out reading any of the other post. My opinion on this matter is it's a way to hold on to a loved one. Even though you know they have passed to the next excistance the physical needs of that person's absence is filled by you visiting the place they were laid to rest. in essence this is conforting to some so they truely do not have to let them go.

All this said.. some of those tombstones are really gorgeous. There are truly lovely works of art in some cemetaries.

I love visiting cemetaries. There is a special cemetary in Akron, OH that I just love to visit when I can. A lot of local famous people with awesome grave stones that you can spend hours reading. I'm sure every city has a cemetary like that, but I am from Akron, so that's why it's special to me.

As far as parties, I would say please have more respect than that. This is a somber place, not for partying. The spirit of my loved ones are gone, but not their bodies, so I would say honor them by being there, but not with craziness.

Graveyards is on holy land or grounds it would be rude, and disrespectful to not show your respect too that of the dead. Don`t disturb them one might jump out of its grave to get you. LOL There coming to get you Barbara!!! LOL Light a candle an place it on the grave as a sign of you care and respect them. Or the placing of flowers upon it. I love the very old big head stones I see there.

None of my relatives are buried, but I find these kinds of places fun.

There's one right across from where I take my student instructor classes and I've been known to go have some water after a good workout.

I'm sure they look at me funny but it's really peaceful there, and I like reading/seeing the stones.

I live just down the road from our cemetery and I love going there. I too find it peaceful to be there. I beleive, once a loved one passes from this world, the spirit/soul leaves the body. We do not know for sure where the spirit goes. I agree that because the cemetary is the last place you see your loved ones, there is a connection. I often talk to my grandmother/say hi to her when I go down to the cemetary.
I also believe the sacred resting place for the bodies of loved ones should be respected.

I view a cemetery as a wonderful place to meditate or to try to commune with loved ones through ritual or prayer. I have also found there are malevolent energies present in some and care must be taken to shield from them.

I dont think our loved ones are at the cemetery....they could of course return there but they dont live there, therefore I dont think people that go there are disturbing anything but rather just maybe freaking themselves out lol...cemeteries are a little spooky i guess but i would visit...

i feel that when a person dies the part of them that was them (the soul) leaves the shell and stays with us. i dont feel there is anything wrong with watever people do in a cemetary. look at it this way if its just the shell it's kind of like an empty can you throw away. you wouldn't care what someone was doing at the dump where that can ended up. so why should it matter what the do in a graveyard

i agree with renejade on this one cemerteries should be respected cause those who have passed should have the right to be respected

I believe a cemetary is sacred and hallowed ground for the living, it gives us a place to honor our dead, to celebrate their lives and reflect on memories.

I believe a cemetery is mean't for the dead to be at peace and I think it would be wrong to have partys near their grave and around other grave sites. I think its disrestpeful because its a place to moarn and talk to them in spirit just to let you know that your thinking of them. This is what I believe to be the right way to see and do things in my own prospective.

I don't think that a person's energy is left behind at a cemetery. But it is comforting to those in need to believe so. When you've lost someone who's dear to you it is expected that you would want to be close to them still, even if they are dead and buried.

I think that only the body is there, nothing else.
I like going to cemeteries, but I like to look at all the old graves. I like stuff like that.

Me and my wife went to an old cemetary not far from where we lived. It was all decaying and not looked after very well. When we walked in I felt sad and depressed. I believe this affected me because of the souls in the cemetary feel that way.

I really don't believe that cemeteries are anything more than something used to remember your dead loved one.

I don't believe that they can hear you when you go there and speak to their grave...they are now a spirit who has left everything behind.

But it's symbolic and it helps with the grieving process usually to do this, so whatever helps deal with the loss can't be a bad thing, right?

I do enjoy gong to cemetaryI dont disrespect the graves around meI do go visit old family memeber and freinds that have past at times share a 5th of liquor with my family member well the ones i know loved to drinkI belive that yes they are their that we can talk to them and have full conversation , it just another place that u can channel their energy and still feel close to them

The Cemetary makes me wonder how all the people died.

I don't think their there .I say goodby when they get buried and Never go back ...

no the cemetary is just a final resting place for the physical body.i think if you want to speak with your deceased loved ones that you dont have to be standing at the grave

I don't really think it is appropriate to party there, but I can't say that it is truly disrespectful to the dead, so much as it is to the family members.

Once again, the grave is the place that you go to "speak" to your loved ones...it's symbolism.

You dont have to talk to them there. You can talk to them anywhere. They have moved on to a different realm. They most likely have no concern for anything of this world and cannot hear us...

it's just a way to help us with grieving.

To me a cemetary is a place that should be respected for it the last resting place of peoples loved ones. I mean how would you feel if some some messed around your loved ones grave site?

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